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00:00The Welsh Coast.
00:03This is a place that I call home.
00:06It's rugged, wild, unforgiving at times.
00:11And out here, nature tends to strip things back to what really matters.
00:17I'm Bear Grylls.
00:19I've spent my life in the wild, testing myself against the toughest conditions on Earth.
00:25But my latest challenge is something I've never done before.
00:30Dealing with people's lives, their relationships and their greatest conflicts.
00:36Is that supporting or is that degrading?
00:38We weren't always honest about wanting to be there.
00:41In a two-day experience, no distractions, no way out.
00:45Oh, I got you.
00:47With my hand-picked team of experts, we've set physical and emotional challenges.
00:52Can their time in the wild...
00:54You're nearly there.
00:55I'm gonna die.
00:57...heal old wounds...
00:58I don't want to talk about it.
01:01...resolve differences...
01:03I do trust you.
01:04...and forge new futures.
01:06We're immensely proud of the person you are.
01:09This is Wild Reckoning.
01:14Today, I'm meeting 30-year-old mum of three, Sophie.
01:18She's worried she's made a big decision that is now putting her marriage at risk.
01:25I met Ricky in 2015 and we've been together ever since.
01:30So, two years ago, I came out as bisexual.
01:33And I asked him if he'd like to potentially open up our relationship.
01:39And he said yes.
01:42Polyamory, it's having romantic connections with more than one person, consensually,
01:49which I love, but I just feel a little bit left out.
01:53My biggest fear is losing Ricky.
01:57Hey, Sophie. Hi, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
02:00Welcome to the Wild. Yeah, yeah, thank you.
02:02So, tell me why you're here.
02:03I'm married and recently we introduced a third person into our relationship as a throuple.
02:09I think, at the moment, I feel just a little bit outside of that.
02:12My husband has been spending a little bit more time with our third person
02:16and I think it's mainly because I'm a mum and I have a full-time job,
02:20so I haven't been able to sort of keep up with it as much as I would have liked to.
02:26Sophie and Ricky have been happily married for seven years.
02:30I knew straight away that he was the one.
02:33He's really funny, always makes me laugh.
02:36And I love the fact that he wanted to be a family man.
02:40Ricky was willing to support Sophie in bringing another woman into their relationship.
02:45But recently, it's not working quite as Sophie had hoped.
02:51He's been on a couple more dates separately without me.
02:58And I feel a bit sidelined.
03:00I'm worried that that might cause a rift.
03:03And I can't imagine my life without him.
03:08What do you think is the heart of the issue?
03:10I think it's definitely communication and I think it's potentially on my side
03:14because I've really struggled to communicate.
03:17I've just kind of got on with it, got on with everything else that I'm doing at home.
03:21Well, you're busy. You know, full-time mum, full-time job.
03:24Yeah. Yeah. Very busy.
03:26What is the consequences of it not working out in terms of finding that resolution here?
03:31I think my biggest fear in this situation would be that this would stop our relationship.
03:36Did it always feel like a high risk?
03:39At the beginning, it didn't feel like a risk.
03:41I think it does feel like a risk now.
03:44Yeah.
03:45The world never judges.
03:46But you've got to give that kind of commitment and honesty to it.
03:50Yeah, of course.
03:51And I can't wait to see how you come out of this, both of you.
03:56Sophie, ultimately, she's kind of looking at this balance of risk and reward and consequences,
04:03which to be honest is very similar to how, you know, I've always had to operate in the wild.
04:08Working out the consequences of decisions and then measuring that against the upside at the end.
04:13And I think Sophie maybe hasn't thought those through yet.
04:17There's no doubt that this is going to be a very challenging, very interesting 48 hours for them.
04:26Sophie's husband, Ricky, has agreed to spend the next two days with her in the wild.
04:32He has no idea that Sophie is feeling so isolated.
04:37I've known Sophie's bisexual for quite a long time, so it wasn't really that much of a shock that she'd
04:43want to open up a relationship to another lady.
04:47I said, yeah, why not? Let's have a go.
04:52I don't think anything was missing.
04:55Possibly a little bit of excitement.
04:59I'm hoping what I've planned for Sophie and Ricky will help them work together to make a decision about their
05:06future.
05:07I'm so scared of slipping.
05:10They'll be led by relationship therapist, Simone, an expert in helping couples navigate difficult times.
05:17Sophie's issue seems quite complex, but actually it's about the conflict between excitement and security.
05:25The issue they have is how to be honest and speak up for their needs.
05:29And survival expert, Naomi, who'll guide them through two challenges that I've designed to improve their communication.
05:37How are we going to tie them together?
05:39How do I?
05:40And help them to understand each other better.
05:43Stop, Sophie. Stop.
05:46Can they set the boundaries they need for their relationship to thrive?
05:49I need to know what you're thinking.
05:52Or will three people prove too much of a crowd for this marriage?
06:00Time for Simone to bring them face to face.
06:06Are you all right? Hi, Ricky.
06:08How are you?
06:09To see Sophie out in the wild, I'm really excited to see how she throws herself in the deep end.
06:14Are you ready to start your first challenge?
06:17Yeah.
06:21I feel quite nervous about being in the wild with Ricky because he's used to the outdoors and there's me,
06:27absolutely no idea.
06:31I want to see how this pair work together.
06:34So I've planned a task which depends on them truly cooperating.
06:40Sophie and Ricky are going to have to build a seaworthy raft to collect an essential item for tonight's camp.
06:47All the supplies you need are behind you over there.
06:52They've got ropes, poles and barrels.
06:56Off you go.
06:58Okay.
07:00Right, okay, what do we have? We've got...
07:02Can they communicate under pressure?
07:05And are they willing to adapt when maybe things don't go to plan?
07:09Let's have a look.
07:11Never built a raft before.
07:13Okay, let's give it a go.
07:15What are we going to do? Put these across it or...?
07:18Possibly.
07:18Like that?
07:21I'd say Sophie leans on me quite a lot for quite a few things.
07:26And I will probably take over as much as needed, really.
07:31How are we going to tie them together?
07:32Hold on.
07:34I wonder.
07:38While Ricky takes the lead, Sophie's left on the sidelines.
07:43I find it really difficult to speak up.
07:46It's strong.
07:47If we're building a flat pack, I'm usually the one that gets it wrong
07:51and then he has to then undo it all and redo it
07:54and then I get upset because I have not done it myself.
07:58Relationship therapist Simone is watching the couple's progress.
08:02What are these for? Are these for, like, the end?
08:04Yeah, possibly.
08:05Okay.
08:06Don't know yet.
08:07While Sophie has a lot of ideas,
08:10she does like that confidence in herself
08:12and she looks to Ricky to feel validated in those ideas.
08:17Where's the other rope?
08:18I still need you to help, though.
08:20Are we weaving it through again?
08:21Yeah.
08:22Oh, no, got it now.
08:23Get your hands dirty, Soph.
08:27They misuse the finished raft
08:28to get out to the floating orange boys,
08:31one of which holds essential kit
08:33for building tonight's shelter.
08:36Stop, stop.
08:37Soph, stop.
08:39Soph, stop.
08:40Sophie, stop.
08:46You've got to try and get on.
08:47Try and get on.
08:48I felt like I had to take the leadership role.
08:52I think it's probably best for you to get in the middle.
08:55We were under time restraint with the tide coming in.
09:00It's going to tick.
09:03I don't know what to do, Soph.
09:06They're still not on the same wavelength
09:08in either the task or their relationship.
09:12I'm hoping that we have a future together.
09:14So, Frank.
09:17I'm not worried in the slightest.
09:19I'm not worried at all that we're going to break up.
09:22It's definitely make or break.
09:32I was really struggling.
09:33Our communication definitely needs to improve.
09:36They keep the raft flipped and try again.
09:40But the current is working against them.
09:42We were getting closer and closer to the boys.
09:46And then we kept getting further away.
09:49Then disaster strikes.
09:51It's come apart.
09:52Their raft starts to disintegrate.
09:55I was trying to hold together the structure
09:58with both my legs sat in the middle.
10:01Ricky and Sophie!
10:03Naomi has no choice but to call them in
10:06to ensure the raft is safe.
10:11Don't give up.
10:12Head back out there.
10:14I was a bit defeated there when it came apart,
10:17but I tried my best.
10:19They head out again,
10:21this time approaching from a different direction.
10:27Their persistence pays off.
10:32And they secure the reward bag.
10:35Yay!
10:37Come in!
10:40Yeah, I'm knackered now.
10:42But I'm glad we did it.
10:44A little bit tired.
10:45It's fun though.
10:46Let's get this raft out the water
10:48because we're going to need it
10:50for your next task.
10:53Sophie and Ricky struggle to communicate in that challenge,
10:57with Sophie unwilling to speak up.
11:00But they pulled together when things got tough,
11:03proving they can work together and be a strong unit.
11:07We got here.
11:09And they've won a tarpaulin for camp.
11:11Fab.
11:12They can use it, along with their raft,
11:15to build tonight's shelter.
11:17I'm excited to impress her.
11:19I'll show her some skills.
11:22There we go.
11:24We have a fire.
11:27Our throttle dynamic was a first experience for me and Ricky.
11:31There's a wiggly worm.
11:33I was really nervous.
11:35I had no idea what to expect.
11:38I don't know how Ricky feels.
11:45Is it good?
11:46It's nice.
11:47Is it?
11:49It's all new to me and I'm not sure exactly what I'm meant to be doing.
11:55I have been going on dates separately with the other person.
12:00Doing something without Sophie feels like I shouldn't be there,
12:10but we're in this together and she's given me the go ahead.
12:16Beautiful place to live, isn't it?
12:19Yeah.
12:20It is quite hard for me to show emotions.
12:23I just tend to bottle it up, not speak at all.
12:27I just want to be involved more.
12:31I just don't know how to communicate my needs.
12:36Sophie and Ricky clearly love each other,
12:39but they aren't communicating about what they need to make them happy.
12:44How have you been today?
12:46Yeah, it's been good, hasn't it?
12:48Simone's got an exercise to help them share their feelings.
12:52Okay, so I've got these stones.
12:54I'd like you to pick one each that represents each of you.
13:05Quite like that one.
13:07I like that one.
13:08Okay.
13:12I noticed you picked a smaller one.
13:14Maybe I just don't have enough confidence in myself.
13:17Maybe that's why I chose the smallest one.
13:19If I was to choose one for Ricky, I would choose a bigger stone.
13:23Okay, that's interesting.
13:24If you could pick that, actually...
13:27One for Ricky.
13:29That one's very similar.
13:31So, why have you picked that for Ricky?
13:33I'd say it's quite similar in terms of the markings on it.
13:37Because we're similar.
13:38Yeah.
13:39But I'd say he was more sort of confident in things that he does than me.
13:46Okay.
13:47Ricky, what are you thinking so far?
13:48What would you choose?
13:50Probably the one next to it.
13:52The marbly one.
13:54The one that looks a bit rough.
13:57And that would be you?
13:59Yeah.
14:00A few cracks.
14:01A few cracks.
14:02A few walls.
14:04The stone exercise is an ideal way to externalise emotions and be able to express it through movement, through choosing
14:13the colour, shape, texture.
14:17How near would you place each other?
14:22All these things speak volumes about how a person feels about themselves and their relationships.
14:29I put him as, like, the foundations of the rock because he kind of, to me, feels like he's the
14:35very, like, structure of us.
14:37Mm-hmm.
14:37And I use Ricky as, like, my little safety blanket, don't I?
14:41OK.
14:43Now, the next thing, the third person, it's there.
14:47How does that make you feel?
14:50I like it being there, but I'm conscious that it could do that.
14:57And then these become the main, and this one becomes separate.
15:01And that's the worry.
15:03That's the worry.
15:04Yeah.
15:04OK.
15:05In my head, I can't see that happening.
15:07Like, somebody who we bring in will never push Sophie out.
15:12Does that make you feel assured?
15:15Yeah, I think it does make me feel assured.
15:18Because we haven't been able to put the initial boundaries in place because it's relatively new.
15:24And I think because I've struggled to communicate, I think it's me that's pushing myself off.
15:36I've been out on dates on my own.
15:39OK.
15:39With this other person.
15:41Whereas Sophie hasn't spent quite as much time as I have.
15:45It goes with possibly feeling left out, being pushed out.
15:51Which it makes more sense now than, now that we've actually spoken about it.
15:54It's not that you two were being deceitful or nothing like that.
15:59No, no.
15:59But it was just learning how to speak up.
16:02Yeah.
16:03What boundaries come to mind for you that you would like to ask for?
16:07I'll give you a notepad each.
16:09OK.
16:09Just to get you sort of just reflecting on it a little bit more deeply.
16:21I need to know what you're thinking.
16:23Yeah.
16:23And I need to know what your boundaries are because I feel like I'm doing what you asked me to
16:30do.
16:30Mm.
16:31If we are trying to bring another woman into the relationship, you need to be OK with that.
16:39Yeah.
16:39You need to be going out on dates too.
16:41But you also need to be telling me if I'm doing something wrong or not.
16:46Yeah.
16:47I agree with that.
16:48I've not really communicated that.
16:50And I need things.
16:53It's literally spelled out for me.
16:55Because if I'm not sure what she's thinking...
16:56Yeah.
16:57..and how am I meant to fix things.
16:58Sophie, do you find it hard sometimes to speak up?
17:01I think I just become quite shy, don't I?
17:04I think I do have obviously this very quirky look.
17:08Mm-hm.
17:08So people always assume that I'm confident.
17:10Mm-hm.
17:11But I like to be quite shy.
17:12I think with it being such a new thing, it's exciting but it's also hard to navigate.
17:17Yeah.
17:20There's a lot to think about.
17:22Yeah, yeah.
17:22A lot to reflect on.
17:23And I think we'll end it there.
17:26And I think you probably need some sleep after such a long day.
17:30See you in the morning.
17:33I feel both of them want to embark on this adventure.
17:39But I think Sophie is the one that has all the fear around what could happen.
17:45Just Sophie knocking herself off that stone spoke volumes.
17:48But I think Ricky is feeling perhaps a fear of feeling guilty or that he'll be blamed.
18:08Last night Sophie was really honest about her insecurities and that, I think, came as a big shock to Ricky.
18:15But now they have a decision to make which affects both their futures.
18:21This is why it is crucial.
18:23They keep speaking up and they keep listening to each other.
18:28I think the rock exercise that we did was different.
18:33I've never done anything like that before.
18:35And it sort of put things into a different sort of perspective.
18:40I feel a little bit embarrassed that I haven't been paying enough attention to how she feels.
18:48I've never sort of once got an inkling that Sophie feels that she could potentially be pushed out.
19:00If Sophie was to say no polyamory, I could definitely go back to one woman.
19:05We've been together for ten years.
19:07You're the woman that I married.
19:09The woman that I'd love forever.
19:11Mother of my children.
19:13I'm not going anywhere.
19:15Definitely communication is key.
19:17There's always new things that you're finding out about each other.
19:20So it's good.
19:22You've got the fire going.
19:24Yeah.
19:24Oh, nice.
19:26I think it was a light bulb moment.
19:29Ricky was just doing something that he thought that I wanted.
19:33I think me knocking myself off the rock was more of an anxiety for me.
19:39And it was quite good for Ricky to respond to it.
19:43Because it made me feel more at ease.
19:45By saying that that wouldn't happen and the other rock would stay on the side.
19:51It felt good to get that reassurance.
19:53And yeah, I'm happy.
20:01Last night saw a real breakthrough.
20:03Sophie finally managed to share her deepest insecurities with Ricky.
20:08enabling him to give her the reassurance she needs.
20:12So today's task is all about getting her used to that feeling.
20:16Communicating her fears.
20:17And both of them learning to get through tough times together.
20:21This is your final challenge.
20:24Using a mountaineering rope technique,
20:26they're going to be abseiling down a steep slate slope.
20:32My team's going to get you geared up and I'll meet you at the bottom of the quarry.
20:36Okay.
20:37Brilliant.
20:38Off you go.
20:42Sophie's got a real fear of heights.
20:45And this is going to be a daunting challenge.
20:48Can she speak up and reach out to Ricky when she needs him?
20:52I'm a bit nervous.
20:55I don't really like heights.
20:58My safety team is standing by,
21:00but Sophie and Ricky will need to support each other every step of the way.
21:05Oh, God.
21:06Lean back.
21:07Lean back, Soph.
21:08I'm scared.
21:10I kind of felt like I was going to give up.
21:13I feel sick.
21:14Come on, you're doing well.
21:15Come on.
21:16Oh, my God.
21:16I could see she was scared and I just tried to reassure her.
21:19Arm.
21:20Okay.
21:20Sophie, like behind you.
21:22Yeah, okay.
21:23And feed it through.
21:24Yeah.
21:25Smashing it.
21:25Let's go.
21:26Oh, my God.
21:28This challenge is teaching them to communicate a lot more.
21:31And it's also an opportunity for Sophie to have to do something on her own,
21:36even though Ricky is there by her side.
21:38Are you doing it right?
21:39Yeah, you're doing fine.
21:40I just want to get to the bottom.
21:44Oh, I'm all tangled now.
21:45Just flick it out.
21:50Oh, God.
21:51I'm so scared of slipping.
21:52It's okay.
21:53Lean back.
21:53Lean back.
21:55There you go.
21:56Oh, the rope.
21:57It's okay.
21:58It's stuck.
22:00I think it was really important for me to lean on Ricky.
22:03Come on.
22:06Last bit.
22:07Let's go for it.
22:09I just got to the bottom now.
22:12We did it.
22:13Well done.
22:15Oh, my God.
22:17Perfect.
22:17Well done.
22:18That was good.
22:19Enjoy it.
22:22They've made it down safely.
22:25That was a high for me.
22:26Massive high because of how happy she looked.
22:29But they're not done yet.
22:32There's a twist.
22:34Oh, no.
22:35You're going to have to go back up there.
22:37Okay.
22:38Okay.
22:39You can do it.
22:41I'll have a go.
22:43And the climb back up is going to be tough.
22:48Off you go.
22:49Ready?
22:50Yeah.
22:50Go.
22:50Go, man.
22:51Go.
22:51Respirator training masks will simulate high altitude and goggles will impair their vision.
22:58I want to see if they can pull together and keep each other going through even the most difficult challenges.
23:05It's really slippery.
23:07I know.
23:09Come on.
23:10All right.
23:10Hold on.
23:12Okay.
23:14Push it forward.
23:17I don't think I can do it.
23:19I'm so tired.
23:21So?
23:22Keep going.
23:23I can't breathe.
23:24You're nearly there.
23:28Ricky is being really supportive while Sophie is quite scared.
23:32Feels a little bit more vocal in that way than yesterday.
23:37Smashing it.
23:39The breath, I was all restricted.
23:40So I was like, I can't breathe when I got so close.
23:43I had to take my mask off.
23:48Go on, Soph.
23:49Come on.
23:52Come on.
23:53Come on.
23:56Come on.
23:58Come on.
23:59Oh, my God.
24:01Well done.
24:06She smashed it.
24:08Absolutely smashed it.
24:10What's really impressive about Sophie is she really did face her fears.
24:13So I'm hoping that that feeling takes her to be able to do that in her actual relationship.
24:20Well done.
24:22Log in.
24:24I think we've definitely learnt how to work better as a team.
24:29Over the last couple of days, some hurdles have been jumped and we've resolved it with communication.
24:35We've learnt a lot.
24:37So, 100% going to be taking it forward with us.
24:42Whatever that decision is, it's going to be the right one for both of us.
24:47Well, this is where we say goodbye to you.
24:51Have you learnt anything?
24:52Any food for thought?
24:54I feel like we're stronger.
24:55Yeah.
24:57Communication's key.
24:58Absolutely.
25:01Sophie and Ricky have a clearer idea of what they want.
25:05The advice I would give would be, be clear with what you want.
25:10It's so important.
25:12Keep communicating.
25:14Keep the trust.
25:19Sophie and Ricky's time in the wild has come to an end.
25:31They've had a few days at home and now I'm coming to meet them for a final time.
25:37Have they reached a decision about how to make their marriage work?
25:42Or have they discovered they want different things from their relationship?
25:47Nice to see you again.
25:48Ricky.
25:48Hi, are you okay?
25:49You survived.
25:50We did.
25:51We did.
25:51Well done.
25:52A few difficult moments though.
25:53Yeah.
25:54Some big conversations to be had.
25:55We got through them and I think it showed that we can work really well together as a team
26:00and we don't give up, do we?
26:01No.
26:02Very easily so.
26:03I think we're stronger.
26:04Absolutely.
26:05I agree.
26:06Yeah.
26:06And what would you say has changed from, because I know when you started out you were feeling
26:11like a little sidelined.
26:12Yeah.
26:13Not listened to so much.
26:14Yeah.
26:14I was really scared of losing Ricky and kind of losing her what we have.
26:18It gave us the chance to be able to come away from all the noise, didn't it?
26:22And the chaos of life.
26:23You sort of come into nature really.
26:26Yeah.
26:26Speak to each other and find out what's really going on.
26:29And they sit down with Simone and kind of being able to communicate with the rocks the way
26:36that she...
26:36In a different way, yeah.
26:38Yeah.
26:38It's put together quite well visually.
26:41So then it sort of...
26:42So you could see what I was feeling without me saying.
26:46Yeah, exactly.
26:46You know, and then it allowed me to be able to then go, actually this is how I feel.
26:50Give that respect and consideration and time and listening and understanding to each
26:54other.
26:54Mm-hmm.
26:55Yeah, 100%.
26:56Going forward, as a couple, we are going to continue to experiment and the communication
27:01is key.
27:02Bringing in all the skills that we've learnt.
27:04Mm-hmm.
27:05And explore how it works for us.
27:07Mm-hmm.
27:10Sophie's biggest fear is being pushed out of our relationship.
27:16But from my point of view, it just wouldn't happen.
27:20Won't happen at all.
27:21Sophie's happiness is absolutely paramount to me.
27:24I don't think anything compares, really.
27:27Never take each other for granted.
27:29Maybe that was at the heart of it.
27:31Mm-hmm.
27:31And we all can be guilty of that.
27:33Yeah.
27:33Absolutely.
27:34I think so.
27:35Yeah, you're a wonderful couple.
27:37I feel like I've overcome some fears the last couple of days.
27:41I'm proud of myself.
27:43And I'm leaving as a stronger unit with Ricky.
27:47Take care.
27:51Sophie and Ricky both came here worried that maybe they'd made a mistake that risked them
27:57losing each other.
27:58But they've been really honest together about what they need from their partnership.
28:03And I know that whatever their future ends up looking like, they'll face it with clearer
28:08boundaries and better communication.
28:39And we'll see you next time.
28:42Bye.
28:44Bye.
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