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00:00The Welsh Coast.
00:03This is a place that I call home.
00:06It's rugged, wild, unforgiving at times.
00:11And out here, nature tends to strip things back to what really matters.
00:17I'm Bear Grylls.
00:19I've spent my life in the wild,
00:21testing myself against the toughest conditions on Earth.
00:25But my latest challenge is something I've never done before.
00:31Dealing with people's lives, their relationships,
00:34and their greatest conflicts.
00:36Is that supporting or is that degrading?
00:38We weren't always honest about wanting to be there.
00:41In a two-day experience, no distractions, no way out.
00:45Oh, I got you.
00:47With my hand-picked team of experts,
00:49we've set physical and emotional challenges.
00:53Can their time in the wild...
00:54You're nearly there. I'm gonna die.
00:57...heal old wounds...
00:58I don't want to talk about it.
01:01...resolve differences...
01:02I do trust you.
01:04...and forge new futures.
01:06We're immensely proud of the person you are.
01:09This is Wild Reckoning.
01:14Today, I'm meeting Mario, an American now living in London.
01:19He's come to me because he's worried his elder son, Xavier, is going off the rails.
01:26It is intervention time.
01:28My son is out of control at the moment and I need to reel him back in.
01:34There's no motivation.
01:35The drinking or the staying up late or he's got fired from three jobs already.
01:41He's hit a wall.
01:43He's ending up down a slippery slope.
01:47Hey, Mario.
01:48Hi there.
01:48Welcome to Wales.
01:49Nice, thank you.
01:50Welcome to the wild.
01:50Thank you for having me, man.
01:52It's amazing.
01:52I'm from the city, so I don't get to see this part of the world at all.
01:55It's beautiful.
01:57So, tell me why you're here.
01:59My son, Xavier, he's turned 18 not too long ago.
02:02And it's took a turn for the worse.
02:04He's a little bit out of control and I need to reel him back in.
02:07What effect is this having on both of you?
02:10I had to kick him out of the house in the sense of like, he's got somewhere to go.
02:14He's gone to his mother's, but I've had enough.
02:17I can't take it no more.
02:18I need him to be on the straight and narrow.
02:20And right now, I don't see that happening.
02:23I've done the tough love.
02:25I've done the talking to him like a man.
02:27It's just not getting through.
02:29Our bond is kind of broken.
02:32Things weren't always so fractured between them.
02:36As a kid, he looked up to me a lot more and he thought I was his hero.
02:41I want me and Xavier to have that same bond we had.
02:45I love him and I want the best for him.
02:47And there's nothing I wouldn't do for him.
02:49I just want him to love me again, I guess.
02:55I want to be there.
02:56I want to be that superhero dad again.
03:00And Mario's concerns for his son come from his own tough life experiences.
03:07Tell me a little bit about your journey.
03:09In my 20s, I was an alcoholic.
03:11Lost my home.
03:12I lost my family.
03:14Lost my wife.
03:15I lost my children.
03:16I ended up homeless, living on the streets.
03:20And I care about him too much for him to go down that same path as I did.
03:25We've never had therapy ourselves.
03:27I just can't afford it.
03:27You're in wilderness therapy now.
03:30Yeah.
03:30The great thing about the outdoors is it's free.
03:33Hopefully we can resolve this problem.
03:35Because I just love him so much, you know.
03:37I can't wait to see what happens at the end.
03:39I'll be cheering you on.
03:43There's no doubt that Mario loves his son.
03:46But is his concern about his own past clouding his judgement over his son's ability to make
03:53great decisions for his own future?
04:01Xavier has agreed to spend the next two days out in the wild with his dad.
04:07But to move forward, Mario will need to be open to Xavier's side of the story.
04:13I know I drink.
04:15I do like to have fun.
04:17I'm still, like, young.
04:18I'm going to make all these mistakes.
04:20I just want him to be more understanding of me.
04:24I don't feel like I'm good enough for him.
04:26I try to be.
04:28I just really want to make my dad proud.
04:31I don't remember the last time feeling like love from my dad.
04:41I'm hoping what I've planned for Mario and Xavier will help them understand each other's point of view.
04:47Hey, get off my back, get off my back.
04:49All right.
04:49Watching their every move will be mediator Mo, who brings years of experience working with families and young people.
04:57As parents, it's always tough to see our kids making mistakes.
05:01But for Mario, it's even more difficult.
05:03He knows firsthand just how serious the consequences can be.
05:08And survival guide Naomi, who will lead Mario and Xavier through two challenges I've designed to help them confront the
05:16reasons for their conflict.
05:19You know what? I'm setting up my own camp.
05:21And trying to build back the father-son relationship they've lost.
05:27You got this. Come to Poppy.
05:29Will Xavier get the wake-up call his dad thinks he needs?
05:33No, you can never say I don't do dishes.
05:35Or will Mario have to stand by and watch history repeat itself?
05:39I just want you happy now.
05:42Time to bring them face to face.
05:48Mario, nice to meet you.
05:50Nice to meet you.
05:51Bear told me about your situation.
05:53Let's do it.
05:54Let's do it.
06:01Hey.
06:02How are we doing that?
06:02You all right?
06:03Good seeing you. How you doing?
06:05You good?
06:05Yeah.
06:06I definitely do think that I'm a boy crying out for my dad's love and attention.
06:13I don't know what's going on in his head.
06:15And maybe he'll tell me out here.
06:18It's been a while.
06:19It's been a while, yeah.
06:21Yeah, it's good to see you.
06:25Being here together clearly means a lot to this father and son pair.
06:30But they've both been left hurt by the rift between them.
06:34So my first task will force Mario and Xavier to face the way that they relate to each other.
06:41Particularly the way they handle trust.
06:44What they're going to do is take turns guiding each other up the river to find camp.
06:49You're going to have to work together as a team to keep your Tinder bundle for your fire dry.
06:57But out here, that means giving up control.
07:00Because when one needs, the other is going to be blindfolded.
07:05Ready?
07:06Yeah.
07:06Good luck.
07:08Off you go.
07:08Mario, you're going to be blindfolded.
07:10All right.
07:10I got you, Dad.
07:12We know Mario is worried that Xavier's straying off the right path in life.
07:17So can he trust his son to guide him safely over the slippery rocks?
07:22Where am I going?
07:23Going forward?
07:23Going into the water, yeah.
07:24Chase your hand.
07:25Put it all the way down to that same rock.
07:27Yeah.
07:27And now you're going to put this leg right here.
07:29Where is it right here?
07:30Right here.
07:30Into the water.
07:31Into the water.
07:31There you go.
07:32Now this goes a bit deep.
07:34But be careful.
07:34Don't step too fast.
07:35The wall goes deep.
07:36Yeah.
07:36I see it.
07:38Being blindfolded, you don't know where you're going.
07:40It's frightening actually.
07:42It's like the blind leading the blind, huh?
07:44I know.
07:44I know.
07:45To rely on my son to guide me, to give him that much trust is something I've not done before.
07:51Can I come through?
07:52Yeah.
07:53Yes.
07:54Hand here.
07:55Hey, hey, hey.
07:56Down low, down low.
07:57Mediator Mo is watching on from the river bank.
08:01Put your left leg down.
08:03It actually feels like Xavier the son is the more nurturing out of the two.
08:07What's this?
08:08That's my bum, yes.
08:10Oh, your bum?
08:11Couple trees, ooh.
08:14All right.
08:14Does it sound like you got a problem?
08:15So what are we doing?
08:16All right, so.
08:17Solve it.
08:18Being led is obviously outside Mario's comfort zone.
08:23Time to swap the blindfold.
08:27Right, Mario, let's see you in action.
08:30All right, let's go.
08:32You got to watch out there's a rock to your right, yeah.
08:34Straight, straight, straight, straight, straight, straight, straight, straight, straight.
08:36Follow me, follow me.
08:37No, don't go on that rock.
08:38You don't need to go on the rock.
08:39Try to avoid the rocks.
08:40If I don't say get on the rock, don't get on the rock.
08:42It's very interesting.
08:43They've got two very different styles.
08:45That is a lot more rough and ready.
08:48Put your left foot up.
08:50Where?
08:50I'll show you.
08:51Foot up.
08:51No, the other side.
08:53Here.
08:53No, left foot.
08:54Left foot.
08:55So at times it feels like you're just pulling Xavier along.
08:59Yeah, I just want to show my son how it's done.
09:02All right, this is going to be a tricky one.
09:04But listen, grab your right hand.
09:06Hold forward, forward, forward.
09:08Yeah, brace yourself there.
09:10Kind of feels like Dad's in coach mode.
09:14Now, your left foot.
09:15Left foot, forward.
09:18All right, good.
09:19I think at this point, Xavier needs a dad rather than a coach.
09:25All right, no, don't go too fast, all right?
09:27I'm trying to find it.
09:29His way of love is shouting at me.
09:31Hey, get off my back.
09:32Get off my back.
09:32All right.
09:33You got it?
09:34Get off my back.
09:35Get off my back.
09:35All right, I'm trying to hold you up.
09:36No, no, no.
09:37Get off.
09:37Get off.
09:37All right.
09:38It's not easy with the blindfold on, huh?
09:43Hold on.
09:44Hold on.
09:44Hold on.
09:46Don't do that.
09:47Don't do that.
09:50Ugh.
09:51Yeah?
09:52Ugh.
09:52Good.
09:54Just had them for sale.
09:57Congratulations.
09:57You made it upstream.
09:59Let's check how dry that tinder is.
10:01Yeah, it's dry.
10:02It should be dry enough.
10:03OK.
10:04I'm going to leave you.
10:05Get set up at camp.
10:06Off you go.
10:07Let's get going.
10:10They might have got soaked, but they've kept the tinder dry enough to start a fire.
10:15Come on, coach.
10:17Come on, coach.
10:18But once again, Mario takes charge.
10:21Oh, there we go.
10:22The fire's going well, and Naomi's brought them something to cook on it.
10:27Brought you some dinner.
10:28Oh.
10:28Thank you so much.
10:29Yes.
10:30But it comes with its own challenge.
10:33First, cleaning and gutting.
10:36Ugh.
10:38Oh.
10:40Grab it all and pull it out.
10:42Oh.
10:46Check it on the fire.
10:47Yes.
10:48And in a survival situation, you can't always be picky about where you get nutrition.
10:54The eye of a fish is full of fresh water, so we're going to take out the eye and you're
11:00going to eat it.
11:01No, no, we ain't doing that.
11:02Yes, you are.
11:02They're not eating that.
11:10Not bad.
11:12That's disgusting.
11:15OK.
11:17Nice.
11:20Next, can they work as a team to make sure they have somewhere to sleep before the sun
11:24goes down?
11:26No, hold on, hold on, hold on.
11:28That's all right.
11:28I think you need to, listen, use that tree or that tree.
11:31No, no, no.
11:32I got idea.
11:32I got idea.
11:32I got idea.
11:33Oh, some of the fights we get into, the arguing, the screaming, the yelling, the...
11:40It's a lot.
11:41It's a lot.
11:41Give me the clip.
11:42Give me the clip.
11:43Let me just see.
11:44Let me just see.
11:44Let me just see, OK?
11:46Me and my dad, like, both have big egos, I would say.
11:49Let's just want to see.
11:50Let you go.
11:51Let you do it.
11:51You know how to do it, right?
11:53No, you can do it.
11:56No, he'll be trying to take things his own way.
11:59I'm going to be like, no, Dad, let's do it this way.
12:01And that's where the ego clash is going to be.
12:05And that's where we might be getting into arguments as well.
12:08You know what?
12:09I'm setting up my own camp.
12:11Yeah.
12:11You set up your camp.
12:12I'm setting up my own camp.
12:16I think I do need to let go a little bit.
12:18It's hard because he's so immature.
12:21But, I mean, I'm trying to protect him more than anything.
12:26This ain't going to work.
12:28I see a lot of myself in Xavier.
12:30A great kid.
12:32A lot of potential.
12:34But a couple of wrong moves, you can end up, like myself, going into prison, becoming homeless.
12:39I've got no clue.
12:41We might have to use the same tree, man.
12:42Look, Xavier.
12:43I would stay here and use that side.
12:46As I've got older, I feel like he's been more demanding of me.
12:50I try my hardest.
12:52Try everything I can do.
12:54But I just don't feel like it works.
12:57Look, I'm going to go on this tree and you're going to go on that tree.
13:00Finally, they stop locking horns and find a way to cooperate.
13:06That's not bad, actually.
13:09I need this time with my son.
13:11Do you want a hand?
13:12Hold on.
13:13Hold on.
13:14I think it's vital for our relationship.
13:16No, no, no.
13:17No, no, no.
13:18Stop, stop, stop, stop.
13:20It's just us two under all the elements and hopefully we can resolve some of the issues
13:25we have.
13:30You're going to like that.
13:36How is it?
13:37That's actually pretty good.
13:39See?
13:39Compared to the fish balls.
13:41The fish eyes.
13:42The fish eyes or whatever.
13:43Yeah, the fish balls.
13:45I've seen glimpses of the father-son bond.
13:48They're so desperate to get back.
13:51Are you guys okay?
13:52Hey, how are you?
13:53Woo!
13:54But to resolve their conflict over Xavier's lifestyle, Mo must help them
13:59confront the emotions that lie behind it.
14:02Mario, could you turn to your son and tell him why you wanted to be here today?
14:10We've been constantly fighting.
14:13We've been constantly bumping heads.
14:17And I'm worried about you.
14:19I've seen partying, staying up late, going out.
14:23It's reminding me of what I used to be.
14:28And I've been down this road before, and I'm scared that you're going down the same path.
14:35It hurts for me to see you do that.
14:38I know you're just scared.
14:39But I just know that I can't go down the same path you've gone down.
14:43I just know that it's not going to happen to me.
14:46Xavier, can you explain why you've been making the lifestyle choices that you have?
14:51Like, be real.
14:53I know you might not want to hear this because we're family and everything,
14:56but it does feel like my safe space.
14:58I feel safe around my friends.
15:00And they won't get angry at me or won't look at me differently.
15:05I want you to still be a kid.
15:07I'm not saying stop that.
15:10I'm saying, can you cut it back and take on more responsibility?
15:15You say to me, I'm not going down a path.
15:17Nobody chooses to go down that path.
15:19It happens.
15:21You think I chose to be homeless?
15:23You think I chose to be an alcoholic?
15:27The stuff you're doing now will affect you.
15:33I find it hard to open up to you.
15:35I find it really hard to open up my emotions.
15:38I want someone to, like, help me out through, like, my wrongdoings.
15:44But I don't want it to come out of anger.
15:50But I feel like if there's one person in this world
15:54that I should bring out my feelings and my emotions to,
15:57it should be you.
15:59I just want us to get back to where we once were.
16:03We were very close.
16:04When the divorce happened and my issues,
16:08there was a time that I couldn't be there.
16:12And I think that caused a lot of the issues.
16:17Can you tell your dad how that affected you?
16:20I feel like it does affect me in ways that I don't know.
16:24Like, sports there and everything.
16:26As a kid, like, you just...
16:28You want to see your dad there.
16:31You want to get high fives.
16:33You want your dad cheering you on.
16:36Like, deep down, it just hit me.
16:39Dad, can you hear what you're saying?
16:41You know he grew up very different to you.
16:44The stuff that you went through that made you hard.
16:47He hasn't gone through that.
16:49I think sometimes I do take for granted you,
16:55because you're a great kid.
17:02And I know half the stuff you're going through
17:06is because of me.
17:18I just want you happy now.
17:24I'm here for you.
17:27Always have been.
17:30Always will be.
17:33I love you.
17:35I love you, too.
17:37I wanted my little mini-me.
17:41You're not me.
17:43You are you.
17:45You're your own person.
17:48And I have to respect that.
17:51But I want to be that dad you can share it with.
17:55Come here, man.
17:57I love you.
17:59I love you, man.
18:00I love you, man.
18:03I love you, man.
18:07I love you, man.
18:08Love you.
18:11My dad means the world to me.
18:13If I don't have my dad, then I feel like I'm a nobody.
18:22Seeing his father in that vulnerable state crying allowed him to see that his father cared.
18:28And that was the most important thing to Xavier.
18:46looking at Mario and Xavier, you could easily mistake them just for brothers.
18:53Not too much.
18:54That's perfect.
18:55All right, all right.
18:55No, you can never say I don't do dishes.
18:58But it's a father-son bond that they're both here fighting for.
19:03I'm proud of you, dude.
19:05First time in about three years.
19:06Yeah.
19:08It's what the wilderness does to you.
19:11You need to go camping more often.
19:13No, definitely not.
19:15Last night really was the first time that they've been vulnerable with each other.
19:19Xavier needing his dad's love.
19:22And Mario terrified that his son is going to just go and repeat his same mistakes.
19:30I don't get to express my emotions as much with my kid.
19:33So I think it hit home for him yesterday.
19:39That's the first time I've really, like, seen him cry ever.
19:43I don't know how to deal with him crying because I've never done it before.
19:47So, you know, it was an emotional, emotional wreck, yeah.
19:51Mario thought he was here to get through somehow to Xavier.
19:56But actually he's starting to realize he's got a lot of listening to do first.
20:02To hear that from him, like he needed more love, I felt very sad.
20:07And then it made me look at myself.
20:14Good morning, gents.
20:15Hey, morning Mo, you alright?
20:16Yeah, I'm good, I'm good.
20:18So guys, it's a new day, which means a new challenge.
20:21Are you ready?
20:22Of course.
20:23Follow me.
20:24Let's go.
20:28I've got one final challenge for Mario and Xavier, which will be a great measure of how far they've come.
20:36A vertical cliff climb known as a Jumar Ascent.
20:40And this task is one they have to do independently.
20:44Who wants to go first?
20:46I'll go first.
20:48Can Mario learn to support Xavier without constantly trying to take over?
20:54Drop your bags, we'll get you in the harnesses.
20:57I wanted to show my son that I can do it.
20:59If I can do it, he can do it.
21:04Alright, it's rock and roll.
21:11Okay.
21:15And he's just going for it.
21:17He's just free balling.
21:19Try and step your feet rather than jump.
21:23He's doing awful.
21:25He's like swinging left to right.
21:31Come on, man.
21:32You're halfway there.
21:38You're making decent progress now.
21:41He's getting there.
21:41He's getting there.
21:47Seeing my dad go first makes me feel like I can do it.
21:52Well done.
21:56Woo!
21:59Words can't even describe how I'm feeling right now.
22:02Woo!
22:02Exhausted too.
22:04Now, it's Xavier's turn.
22:07Okay, Xavier, let's get you in.
22:11Mario's instinct is going to be to step in, to pull his son up just like he always has.
22:17Oh, my gosh.
22:18That's a big fall.
22:20I'm worried for him now.
22:22Now he's up here, there's no way for Mario to help.
22:26This time, he's got to trust him.
22:28Trust his son.
22:30I find it very difficult for him to do things on his own.
22:33I still picture him, my little boy, and he isn't.
22:37And I got to get through my head that he is growing up in front of my eyes and I
22:41got to let go.
22:44Xavier, are you ready?
22:45Yes, I am.
22:46Let's go, son.
22:50Woo!
22:52Definitely harder than I thought.
22:55Woo!
22:58I mean, Xavier's got an opportunity to learn from Dad's mistakes.
23:02And what he is finding is it's not as easy as he thought it would be.
23:06This is too long.
23:08And I smell like fish as well.
23:11You're so much better than me, man.
23:15Good job, boy.
23:19You're doing great.
23:21It's great to see Dad's words of wisdom quite nurturing, actually.
23:26You got it.
23:29That's it.
23:30Push off that ridge and get that arm up as high as you can.
23:33My arm is dead.
23:35My arm is actually so dead.
23:37You got this.
23:38You got this.
23:39Come to Poppy.
23:41That's it.
23:45You did it!
23:46You did it!
23:48You did it!
23:50You did it, Dad.
23:54How are you?
23:55Thanks, man.
23:56How you feel?
23:57Amazing.
23:58Yeah?
23:59I realize how strong my son actually is.
24:02I tend to baby him sometimes.
24:04I know my dad's there to support me and everything.
24:08By figuring stuff out myself, I'm going to improve as a person, you know?
24:12You're so, yeah, we're just fine, you know?
24:15You're so sorry.
24:16Oh!
24:19Xavier, it was amazing to see you standing in your own two feet.
24:23Yes, yes.
24:24And following your dad in all the right ways.
24:26Of course, of course, that's my own man.
24:28But this is where the adventure ends for us, okay?
24:33It was amazing to gaze up at the top of the mountain and to see Mario almost in desperation
24:39because he couldn't do anything at all.
24:41That was a very useful exercise for him because it really brought home the point that actually
24:47sometimes in life, you just got to let people be.
24:52All you can do is be there for them.
24:55The only way is up now.
24:57I'm looking forward to it.
25:02Mario and Xavier's time in the Welsh wilderness is at an end.
25:09All right.
25:17They've had a few days back at home.
25:20Now I'm coming to meet them for a final time.
25:25Has Xavier taken his dad's advice on board?
25:29And has Mario found a way to connect with his son instead of just shouting?
25:35Hey, Mario.
25:36Hey.
25:37Xavier.
25:38How are you doing, sir?
25:38Nice to see you.
25:39Yeah.
25:40You survived.
25:41To say the least, it was interesting.
25:44It was an experience that's going to last a lifetime for us.
25:47Mario, just tell us what the issue was really for you guys at the beginning.
25:51I think some of the choices he was making were down the negative road, and that wasn't
25:57my son.
25:58I wanted my son back.
25:59What do you feel?
26:00So obviously, like, I know I've made plenty of mistakes.
26:04Who hasn't?
26:05But I've learned over these past couple of days that I need to take on more responsibilities
26:11and get my life together, get us straight.
26:14I've realized my mistakes, so it's time to make him a proud dad.
26:18I'm always proud, all right?
26:20I'm always proud, regardless of whatever you do.
26:23I'm just there.
26:24Had you seen that sort of vulnerability from your dad before?
26:28Never seen that vulnerability from my dad.
26:31It was hard to see him cry.
26:32I've never seen him cry before.
26:34Shows that he cares a lot.
26:36He cares for my future.
26:38It meant a lot.
26:40What have you, Mario?
26:41What have you learned through this?
26:42He's 18 years old, and I've got to allow him to make mistakes.
26:46I have to let go.
26:47And I think those tears were not just a frustration.
26:51It was maybe a realization of myself that I need to let him grow up a bit.
26:57So I'm excited for you both.
27:00Being out in the open world, just us bonding, we haven't really had time to do that ever.
27:06We brought out, like, feelings and emotions that we've never brought out to each other before.
27:11I need to make a change, be a better person.
27:15Well done, my friend.
27:16Thank you, man.
27:17I'm excited about what you're going to do with your life.
27:19Oh, my goodness.
27:21I think I came here for Xavier, and I ended up helping myself become a better father for him.
27:27And that's, I think, what needed to happen.
27:29Over time, we'll get there.
27:33You always had it.
27:35You just had fire, but the fire was, like, creating a bit of damage left, right, so never lose the
27:40fire.
27:40The fire is everything.
27:41But when that fire is channeled, then you're unstoppable.
27:45Yeah.
27:46And no wonder you're proud of him.
27:47So proud of him.
27:48Good job, guys.
27:58Good job, guys.
28:34Good job, guys.
28:54Good job, guys.
28:55Good job, guys.
28:56Good job, guys.
28:58Good job, guys.
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