00:00trigger warning if you also suffer from mental illness but i was diagnosed with
00:05panic disorder but there are still times when the trigger
00:08din ako depending on external factors my life is over
00:14and speaking of um being a beauty queen though um even off cam in real life actually um
00:21um meron din kayong mga advocacy na talagang pinaniniwalaan and one of it is for kelly
00:29um or in particular ay yung um experience with mental health awareness um this was this
00:40happened when you took a break from showbiz um can you share with us kung ano yung um
00:47naging experience mo nun dealing with anxiety and how were you able to overcome it
00:56yeah so um maybe a trigger warning because if you also suffer from mental illness but i was
01:05diagnosed with panic disorder and it happened whilst my dad was in hospital so um basically
01:14overwhelmed ako sa nangyayari noon pero thank god okay na yung dad ko um it was me who ended up
01:22suffering with sickness for longer pero mental sickness naman yun and i basically just
01:30i surrendered myself to to whatever was gonna happen to me and i just put trust in my
01:37my doctors and kasi nung first parang in denial ako na may mental disorder ako i said i'm fine i
01:48can
01:48handle it i'm strong i've been through a lot of things before and my doctor was like you need help
01:54and i was really in denial so eventually i had it reached a point na nasa rock bottom na ako
02:01and i had to accept the help that was being offered to me and uh my doctor said because the
02:09doctor how
02:10how long am i gonna deal with this panic attacks for because i need to go back to work and
02:16then
02:16maybe one year one year wait and deep on this i have i know i have project i'm gonna you
02:25need to
02:25take your time on this because if you want to recover your as much as possible you need to take
02:33your time could be one year could be more and that was the point life i thought like my life
02:40is over
02:40what am i gonna do how am i gonna earn money how am i gonna continue my work so but
02:47it i took the time i
02:50basically disappeared i deleted all my social media i just focused on me i followed my doctor's
02:59advice like i stopped not that i was super into alcohol like drinking alcohol but i stopped totally
03:05um i even stopped caffeine and until now ganun pa din even if i'm not on medication or at least
03:12naka recover na ako from from i live with my mental disorder i can function na man po um but
03:20there are
03:20still times na natrigger din ako with depending on external factors or sometimes if i'm not well rested
03:28so you know i learned to prioritize my mental state and my health and i learned to say no to
03:36things that
03:37i don't want to do things that i think might trigger me things that i don't feel good about
03:43and making those choices you you tend to disappoint a lot of people and you know i i realized that
03:51i don't care like this is my life and i know how low i can go if i don't put
04:01myself first and if i
04:03don't put myself first then i can't help others also and yeah and so it coming back from that after
04:12like more than two years it took me about two years to recover um the the approach that i have
04:19in my
04:19daily life and my work and even my relationships with my friends my family my partner is very different
04:26and i think it's better so people will say because you need to like oh you're taking too long you
04:33need
04:33to go back to work and i was like no i know when i'm ready i know when i'm ready
04:38you just have to
04:39let me trust myself and i listen to myself and um that was the best thing that i could have
04:46done
04:49it's good to know you know um knowing your boundaries you're being able to say no because
04:56maybe you're yes you're saying no to other people but you're saying yes to yourself to your health
05:03so i like that and in the long term that's what helped you
05:08that's what kept you going that's what helped you get back on track
05:14and it's also great because you were able to share this also on your social media even now that you're
05:21back and you weren't afraid to speak about it i realized like how important it was for me
05:30when i was diagnosed with a label like when my doctor was like you have panic disorder i was like
05:38wait this is something that other people have experienced there's a name for this because i really
05:43thought that i was like going crazy and when i knew that there was like an actual clinical disorder it
05:50brought me a lot of peace and then when i researched like what celebrities or known people have this
05:59disorder i was i saw that there are there like still i think like ed sheeran also has and i
06:05was like
06:05wait okay i'm not alone and i think if i can get through this and then i can also help
06:13that one person
06:15that would read my my post on social media then i've already done my part and to my pleasant surprise
06:24there were a lot of people who had reached out to me with similar disorders like ocd which i also
06:30had adjustment disorder panic disorder or just general generalized anxiety they're all kind of related
06:37they they there's like a knock knock on effect because there's like a domino effect so i had a few
06:44diagnosis but but panic disorder was the main one so people that reach out to me they have similar things
06:50then and
06:51it just makes you feel less alone and you realize that the way i think about mental disorder now is
06:59you treat it as if it's a physical disease something like like diabetes or cancer sometimes you need
07:07medication sometimes you need a doctor sometimes you need to rest um not everyone's gonna understand it
07:14and that's okay and that's something that i try to to talk about when when i get asked about it
07:22and
07:23a lot of friends in the industry also i realized that these are people that i see on on camera
07:29on stage
07:30and they seem so confident and then they reach out to me like hey you know what i've been i've
07:35been
07:35having depression i've been having anxiety can i ask like contact for your doctor or i'm like wow
07:41wow we all we all we all really like are not okay and that's kind of okay
07:48yes
07:48yes yes
07:50ang galin kasi um yung
07:53yung ang laking bagay nun na eve as celebrities
07:56nakikita kayo ng ordinary call then
08:00you'll go through this
08:01things and sila dyn hindi sila makikiyak
08:04to open up or to acknowledge
08:06yung fears nila
08:08diba so it really helps and
08:10ako and
08:11And thank God that you know better how to handle it now.
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