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00:00Tonight's challenge is beefcakes.
00:03Celebrities who have won People magazine's
00:06Sexiest Man Alive.
00:08That book.
00:10Uh, I don't know, Billy Crystal.
00:13Uh, Robert De Niro.
00:16It's a travesty that Nate has not been on the list.
00:19Because I would have at least got one.
00:24From the Nashville Municipal Auditorium,
00:26it's the only comedy show that also happens to be a game show.
00:31It's The Greatest Average American.
00:35And now your host, Nick Bargettson.
00:43Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:47Welcome to our new show where it's not about what you know,
00:49it's about what your fellow average American knows.
00:52Speaking of average, we've got my buddy and fellow comedian
00:55Julian McCullough warming up the audience tonight.
00:58Julian.
00:59Uh, and our announcer and fellow comedian, Greg Warren.
01:04Greg, who do we have playing tonight?
01:07From the great state of Mississippi, it's Darren.
01:11The self-proclaimed king of Halloween and father of three,
01:15it's Arjun.
01:17And finally, the recent college graduate from Florida,
01:20it's Sade.
01:24Sade, tell me, what are you most below average at?
01:28Riding roller coasters.
01:29I know that might sound a little silly.
01:31Yeah.
01:31I like my life, okay?
01:33I remember one time, as soon as we took off,
01:36and there was a big drop, I just...
01:39I immediately fainted, and my cousins then was like,
01:42oh, my gosh, Sade, are you okay?
01:43Are you okay?
01:44What? Are you okay?
01:45Yeah, don't do it.
01:46All right, thank you guys for being on the show.
01:48We're gonna play through two elimination rounds
01:51with one person going home after each one.
01:53Last player standing moves on to our bonus round
01:56where you could win the average American salary
01:58of $67,920.
02:04I want that. I want that.
02:05In our first round, we asked Americans questions
02:08about how they feel, what they like, and how they live.
02:12I'll reveal the questions, and all you have to do
02:14is choose the response said by the majority of Americans.
02:18Here's your first question.
02:20Worth one point.
02:23We asked 100 average American high school seniors
02:26if these Disney characters went to your school,
02:28who would be the queen bee?
02:31A, Ariel.
02:32B, Aurora.
02:35C, Jasmine.
02:36D, Elsa.
02:3810 seconds.
02:45Greg, you went to high school with, uh, someone of them.
02:48Yeah, Jasmine and I.
02:49Jasmine.
02:50All right, Sade, I'm excited about yours.
02:54I went with D, Elsa, because she's literally a queen already.
03:01She was a baddie from the start.
03:04I mean, she wasn't over here complaining to worry about no man.
03:07She said, I got this on my own.
03:09Yes.
03:09That's a good answer.
03:11Arjun.
03:12I went with C, Princess Jasmine.
03:15Yes.
03:15Okay?
03:16Okay.
03:17We're talking about somebody who already got the estate.
03:20She got the best fashion sense.
03:22It's got to be her.
03:23Yes, is this because you've been her for Halloween?
03:27That's right, I was not Aladdin, I was Jasmine.
03:29Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:30Uh, Darren.
03:32All right, I chose A, Ariel.
03:36All right, Ariel.
03:37Okay.
03:39She's one of the most popular, loved Disney princesses.
03:43Yeah, she's on the swim team.
03:45She crushes it.
03:46Thank you, thank you.
03:47Yeah, let's find out.
03:48What do the average American say?
03:52Elsa.
03:54Okay.
03:55Sade.
03:56Okay, that was good.
03:58That was good.
03:58Yeah, 44% went Elsa.
04:01Just two questions left.
04:02I'm gonna raise the stakes a little,
04:04so this next one is worth two points.
04:06Whoever comes closest to the correct answer gets the two points.
04:10Ready?
04:12We asked 100 average Americans, is cereal technically a soup?
04:16What percentage said yes?
04:20What?
04:20Ten seconds.
04:22Apparently this is, uh, I don't know.
04:25It's all the rave right now.
04:26People are debating this.
04:28I ate my cereal dry, Nate.
04:30You eat it dry?
04:32Dry.
04:32That's brutal.
04:33All right.
04:34What?
04:35Yeah, have you been in any of these arguments?
04:38No.
04:39Never have.
04:39Never have.
04:39Well, let's get into it right now.
04:41Who says that?
04:42I don't want...
04:42Apparently Elsa.
04:45That's where we got it started from.
04:47Arjun.
04:4960%.
04:50I'm not confident in this.
04:5160%.
04:51I mean, you have liquid and food.
04:53Yeah.
04:54Soup.
04:55Yeah.
04:56Is there a cold soup?
04:57Sometimes a cucumber soup, Nate.
04:59Oh, a cucumber soup, Greg.
05:01Wow, what a fun time Greg is.
05:03Uh, Sade.
05:06I went super low.
05:07I said 10%.
05:09That's what it...
05:09Yeah.
05:11I'm sorry, but when you're sick, you want to eat soup.
05:14You're not eating cereal.
05:15Yeah.
05:16Don't tell me when I can't eat cereal, Sade.
05:17I'll eat it when I...
05:19Uh, Darren.
05:20All right, if Sade went low, I went super low,
05:23and I said 5%.
05:25Wow.
05:265%.
05:27Wow.
05:28Please be 42.
05:29I mean, I think we all agree.
05:31None of us think this is cereal soup.
05:34We agree.
05:35This is worth two points.
05:37So this is a big one.
05:38Oh, jeez.
05:39What did the average American say?
05:4325% Sade again.
05:45There we go.
05:46Wow.
05:47Wow.
05:48Okay, girls, get it.
05:49Get it.
05:50Okay.
05:51Don't play with me.
05:52Last question.
05:53And it's worth a whopping three points.
05:55Okay.
05:55So here we go.
05:58We asked 100 average American men best nap.
06:03A, beach nap.
06:04B, porch nap.
06:06C, football nap.
06:08D, airplane nap.
06:1110 seconds.
06:14Which one's the best nap?
06:17Greg does his now.
06:19What was that name?
06:20I said you nap during the show.
06:22Oh, gosh, sorry.
06:23Yeah.
06:25All right, Arjun.
06:26Well, for me, it is definitely a football nap.
06:28I agree.
06:29Yeah, football nap's nice.
06:30It's a football nap.
06:30Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:31You wake up and it's a close game.
06:32That's a great nap.
06:33I agree, I agree.
06:34Darren?
06:35Well, I'm with Arjun.
06:36I chose C, football nap.
06:39Smart man.
06:40All right.
06:40That's a good one to choose.
06:42I chose that just because you're probably laying on a comfortable couch, watching the ballgames.
06:47You probably have some tailgate food.
06:49You're just comfortable and you're going to shut your eyes for just a minute, and then
06:53next thing you know, it's dark and you don't know where you are.
06:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:55You got to go right back to bed.
06:56That's right.
06:56Yeah.
06:57Sade?
06:58I said D, airplane nap.
07:00I mean...
07:01Hey, airplane's a strong nap.
07:02That's a respectable nap.
07:04Yeah.
07:04That's a good nap.
07:05I mean, you get on the plane and, you know, you knock out and have a nice nap, and then
07:09you wake up and then you're at your destination, so...
07:10Look, Sade, these are all good naps.
07:13All right.
07:14What did the average American say?
07:19Porch nap.
07:20What?
07:21Who's uncle?
07:22I know.
07:23Porch nap is 33%.
07:25The football nap was 31%.
07:28You're that close.
07:29Man.
07:29All right.
07:30Sade, you are going to the next round, so you can relax.
07:37All right.
07:38We have a tie to break it.
07:40I'm going to ask you one last question.
07:41It's a percentage question.
07:43Whichever player gets closest to the correct answer, we'll be moving on.
07:48Darren Arjun, here we go.
07:51Question.
07:54We asked 100 average Americans over 30, have you lived in the same state your entire life?
07:59What percent said yes?
08:01Ten seconds.
08:04You lived in the same state your entire life.
08:08I have made state of denial.
08:10Yeah, you have state of denial.
08:12All right.
08:13Darren, what do we say here?
08:15All right.
08:15I'm going to say 40%.
08:17Yes.
08:19Yes.
08:1940% said yes.
08:21All right.
08:22Arjun?
08:23I'm regretting my answer already, but I'm going to say 70%.
08:28These are great guesses.
08:30All right.
08:31One of you going to the next round.
08:33Is it Darren?
08:33Is it Arjun?
08:35What did the average American say?
08:4053%.
08:40Darren!
08:41All right.
08:42Darren is closest, and that means he's moving on to the next round with Sade.
08:47Unfortunately, Arjun, you're the most below average American tonight.
08:51Thanks for playing.
08:52When we come back, the quest to crown the greatest average American continues.
08:56Our players have proven their averages, and now it's my turn.
09:00Do not go anywhere.
09:02Do not go anywhere.
09:03Do not go anywhere.
09:09Welcome back to The Greatest Average America.
09:13Sade and Darren are one step closer to playing for the average American salary of $67,920.
09:22This next round is all about getting into the mind and body of the original Greatest Average
09:27American himself.
09:28That's me.
09:31Tonight's challenge is...
09:35Beefcakes.
09:36Oh, boy.
09:37I will have 60 seconds to name celebrities who have won the title of People Magazine's Sexiest
09:44Man Alive.
09:45There are 36 of these gentlemen, and to figure out who's going to the bonus round, you two
09:50are predicting how many I can name.
09:52Here's how it works.
09:54I know.
09:56All right.
09:58One of you will start off by guessing exactly how many of the sexiest men I can name in
10:0260 seconds.
10:03The other will then write over or under if you think I'll name less.
10:07If you're right, they're headed to the bonus round.
10:10If not, the other player moves on.
10:12Sade, you scored the highest in the first round, so you get to decide.
10:16Would you like to guess the number I will name or guess the over or under?
10:20I am going to guess the over or under.
10:24All right.
10:25That's a solid one to do.
10:28Darren, how many winners of People's Sexiest Man Alive do you think I can name in 60 seconds?
10:34Write down your guess.
10:36Show Sade.
10:37I don't want to see it.
10:39The audience can see it.
10:40I don't want to see it.
10:42So I don't know.
10:45All right.
10:46Sade, do you think I'll go over that number or under?
10:50You write it down.
10:51This one, you don't show anybody.
10:54All right.
10:56Answers are in.
10:57It's my time to shine.
11:01I've been waiting for this my whole life.
11:05All right.
11:06Good luck, Nate.
11:0760 seconds on the clock.
11:10On your mark.
11:12Get set.
11:14Nate.
11:15Tom Cruise.
11:17The Rock.
11:18Dwayne Johnson.
11:20Paul Rudd.
11:22Brad Pitt.
11:24Johnny Depp.
11:28Michael J. Fox.
11:3045 seconds, Nate.
11:31You're on fire.
11:33Man.
11:35Oh, man.
11:36Adam Sandler.
11:40Is...
11:4030 seconds, Nate.
11:42You're slowing down.
11:42I know.
11:43Slow it.
11:43All right.
11:45All the names are blinking out of my mind.
11:47I know.
11:48It's brutal.
11:49Who else is famous?
11:51Tom Hanks.
11:53I don't know.
11:54Billy Crystal.
11:5515 seconds.
11:56Yes.
11:57Robert De Niro.
11:5810 seconds.
11:59Robert De Niro.
12:01Ryan Gosling.
12:04Ryan Gosling?
12:05Ryan Reynolds.
12:11Oh, man.
12:12I'm sorry.
12:14I'm sorry to one of you.
12:16I...
12:18How many did I get?
12:19You got six, and I feel like Gosling got robbed.
12:22Hell yeah, Gosling's not...
12:24That's not fair.
12:25Harrison Ford, Chris Hemsworth, Idris Elba missed those.
12:28All right.
12:30Moment of truth.
12:31Darren, how many did you think I could do?
12:35Well...
12:37It's a travesty that Nate has not been on the list.
12:40Let me just say that.
12:43Thank you very much.
12:44Because I would have at least got one.
12:46But, Nate, I thought you would do a little better.
12:48I said 14.
12:49Oh, man.
12:50I'm so sorry.
12:51He had faith in you.
12:52I did.
12:53Sade.
12:54If you guessed under, you win.
12:56But if it's over, then you're going home.
12:57What did you say?
12:59I said, Unde!
13:01Sade!
13:04Good job, Sade.
13:06That means Sade is moving on.
13:09Congratulations.
13:10You are the greatest average American.
13:13And you deserve a little something to go with your new title.
13:16So how does $10,000 sound?
13:18But can't you turn it into $67,920?
13:22Find out in the bonus round when we return to the greatest average American.
13:35Welcome back.
13:36I'm here with our winner, Sade.
13:40She has earned the covenant title of the greatest average American.
13:44And with that comes $10,000.
13:47That's yours to keep no matter what.
13:50But you now have a chance to increase the winnings to the average American salary of $67,920.
13:59I'm going to put a little extra in there to help cover all your taxes.
14:03Okay.
14:04All right.
14:07What will you do if you win it?
14:09So, Nate, I was raised by my single mom all my life.
14:14And I've just seen her struggle with health issues and also taking care of me and my brother.
14:21And try not to get emotional.
14:25And I just would like to give back to her.
14:27She had to take in my grandfather as well.
14:29So she has a lot going on with her.
14:32And she can't do it all.
14:34So I would like to give her, one, a spa day so she can learn to relax.
14:38And I would like to give her a maid service so she doesn't have to do everything around the house.
14:43And I want to get her a personal chef, at least.
14:46Because she's always the cook of the family.
14:48So I want to give back to my mom.
14:50That's, well, that's the sweetest.
14:53That's wonderful.
14:55All right.
14:56You showed you can think like the average American.
14:59But there's one more group of average Americans you need to face.
15:02And that's our audience.
15:03Have you looked at them?
15:05Yes.
15:05Yeah.
15:08Before the show, we asked them seven questions.
15:12You will have 30 seconds to correctly predict how the majority of them answered.
15:17Get five right, and you go home with $67,920.
15:24But beware, because it's three strikes and you're out.
15:28All right?
15:29Audience, it's your answers that are helping also, so you should have some skin in the game.
15:33If Sade wins, you're all going home with one of my favorite things.
15:37Julian, what are they good?
15:38Everybody is going home with Cinnabon.
15:41Oh!
15:42Yeah.
15:44Pretty exciting.
15:45That's pretty nice.
15:47That's pretty nice.
15:49That's a big one.
15:51No pressure, Sade.
15:52I've been on a Cinnabon, a little crush of it lately.
15:56Yeah.
15:5630 seconds on the clock.
15:59Here we go.
16:03Has this audience ever mowed a lawn?
16:05Yes.
16:07Have they ever unfriended someone on Facebook?
16:10No.
16:13Do they prefer sausage or bacon for breakfast?
16:16Bacon.
16:17Have they ever listened to a podcast?
16:19Ooh, no.
16:22Would they rather attend a dog wedding or a destination wedding?
16:26Destination.
16:27Have they ever bought a box of Girl Scout cookies?
16:30Yes.
16:31Do they prefer horror movies or sci-fi?
16:34Sci-fi.
16:34Sci-fi.
16:35All right.
16:36All seven questions.
16:36There we go.
16:37All right.
16:38Woo!
16:39All right.
16:41Start with the first one.
16:42Has this audience ever mowed a lawn?
16:46You've mowed a lawn?
16:47No.
16:48No.
16:51That's fair.
16:52Sorry?
16:52Yeah.
16:53Yeah.
16:54You say you haven't, but you said the audience has?
16:57Yes.
16:58Has the audience mowed a lawn?
17:01Yes.
17:04One right.
17:06One thing about Nashville, they keep their lawn nice and clean.
17:09Yes.
17:10Yes, they do.
17:11Number two, have they ever unfriended someone on Facebook?
17:15Have you unfriended?
17:17I don't have Facebook.
17:18Oh, yeah.
17:19There you go.
17:20That's one way not to do it.
17:24You said no.
17:26Audience, did you say no as well?
17:29Oh.
17:30Their first strike.
17:31That's all right.
17:32Yeah.
17:32That's all right.
17:32I figured.
17:33It's that you think we're nice down here, but there's some mean people.
17:38Do they prefer sausage or bacon for breakfast?
17:41I prefer bacon.
17:43I prefer bacon.
17:45Did the audience agree with us?
17:49Yes.
17:50All right.
17:51Come on, come on, come on.
17:53All right.
17:54We got two.
17:55All right.
17:55Have they ever listened to a podcast?
17:58I don't believe they have.
18:00You don't?
18:00I don't even listen to podcasts like that.
18:02Okay, you don't.
18:03You know?
18:03Yeah.
18:03I have a podcast.
18:04They shouldn't listen to it.
18:06There you go.
18:08All right.
18:10Have they ever listened to a podcast?
18:12You said no.
18:13Did the audience say no?
18:16Golly.
18:18That's all right.
18:18That's all right.
18:19Two strikes.
18:20Okay.
18:20You need these last three.
18:22You need these last three.
18:22I know.
18:23All right.
18:23You got to be perfect here.
18:24Okay.
18:25All right.
18:25Would they rather attend a dog wedding or a destination wedding?
18:30Destination for sure.
18:31Everybody would love a nice vacation to relax and, you know, love's in the air.
18:37It is.
18:37I agree.
18:39Destination wedding, you said.
18:41What did the audience say?
18:44All right.
18:45Yes.
18:45All right.
18:48Oh, man.
18:50Last two.
18:51Yes.
18:52Need them both.
18:53I know.
18:53I got this.
18:55Have they ever bought a box of Girl Scout cookies?
18:58Absolutely.
18:59I've bought a bunch.
19:01You said yes.
19:02Audience, do you have hearts?
19:05Please?
19:06Did you say yes as well?
19:07Please.
19:10All right.
19:16You got four right.
19:18You got two wrong.
19:19Yeah.
19:21This last one decides it all.
19:22I know.
19:23If you get this right, you win the average American salary of $67,920.
19:33Do they prefer horror movies or science fiction?
19:38I want to say science fiction.
19:41Things like Back to the Future.
19:42That's true.
19:43E.T.
19:44All of that was so popular and banging.
19:46That's true.
19:46And there's been so many more science fiction movies that have came out that have blown up.
19:51So.
19:51Yeah.
19:52I say sci-fi.
19:53This is for $67,920.
19:56Audience, did you say sci-fi?
20:07Oh, my gosh.
20:10$67,920.
20:14Congrats, Sade.
20:17You won.
20:18You won.
20:19You all right?
20:20You all right?
20:21It's unbelievable.
20:21You did so good.
20:23And audience, the audience gets Cinnabombed.
20:26The audience gets Cinnabombed.
20:28When we come back, three new players will battle it out to see who's the most average.
20:34Don't go anywhere.
20:35The J. Sam's American will be right back.
20:38I was nervous about the last one.
20:40You do.
20:40You do.
20:41It's amazing.
20:41Oh, my gosh.
20:42You did it the best way.
20:44Oh, my gosh.
20:45Sade.
20:53Welcome back to The Greatest Average American.
20:56Our pursuit of average continues with three new contestants.
21:00Let's see who we've got.
21:02Greg.
21:03A nanny from the great state of New York.
21:05It's Yolanda.
21:08All right.
21:10A cowboy hat designer from Austin, Texas.
21:14Welcome, Laura.
21:18He's in the Army Reserve.
21:19From Colorado, welcome, Joseph.
21:23All right.
21:24This is fun.
21:25Joseph, tell me, what are you most below average at?
21:29I am most below average, shamefully, at first-person combat video games like Call of Duty,
21:34which is shameful because I actually spent 10 years active duty combat infantry.
21:38So that was my job.
21:40That was your job.
21:41Thank you for that.
21:42So basically, like, in real life, we're like, thank you for your service.
21:45And in video game life, we're like, please leave.
21:49We do not thank you for your service.
21:51But in real life, all right.
21:53That's the one that makes it.
21:54Well, good luck to you guys.
21:55Let's get to this game.
21:57Ready?
21:57Let's do it.
21:58The first two questions are worth one point each.
22:01Here is your first question.
22:05We asked 100 average Americans, which of these is the most unsatisfying if it's not as hot
22:11as you want it to be?
22:14A soup, B, a hot tub, C, the beach, D, a blind date.
22:22Ten seconds.
22:27What did the average American say?
22:35All right.
22:36Yolanda.
22:37I'm going to say hot tub.
22:40Yeah.
22:41Hot tub is, it's a letdown.
22:44When you're in a one that's like that, those are the people that loudest about their hot
22:48tubs.
22:49Exactly.
22:49They're like, I got a hot tub.
22:51And you just wait all night to get to it.
22:53And you're like, your hot tub stink.
22:54Let it warm up.
22:56I didn't have it ready.
22:58It's not fun.
23:02Joseph.
23:03The answer I think America chose is D, blind date.
23:07Blind date.
23:08Yeah.
23:09Okay.
23:11I can explain.
23:12Yes.
23:13So I was thinking a soup and hot tub, you can both heat them up.
23:16So if you get them, it's like easy to throw in the microwave.
23:18The hot tub in the microwave.
23:20Okay.
23:20Go ahead.
23:21I'm tracking you.
23:23But the blind date, if it just goes terrible, if it's just the worst experience, it's like
23:26a committed two hours.
23:28Yeah.
23:28Nobody wants that.
23:29It's like a movie you don't want to see.
23:31Yeah.
23:32Exactly.
23:33Yeah.
23:34Laura.
23:35So I am going to go with Yolanda on this one.
23:38B, hot tub.
23:39Hot tub.
23:40Yeah.
23:40It takes so long to warm up.
23:41Yes.
23:42Hot tub.
23:42All right.
23:42Joseph, do you feel stupid about your answer?
23:44I feel so smart about my answer now.
23:46Yeah.
23:47Well, we're going to find out.
23:48You might be right.
23:48We don't know.
23:50What did the average American say?
23:53Soup.
23:54Wow.
23:55Well, we all feel stupid now.
23:58Now we share that feeling.
24:00We share that feeling.
24:00I know.
24:01Golly.
24:0232% said soup.
24:04A hot tub ruins a day.
24:06Yes.
24:07A soup, you can move on.
24:10This one's a little different.
24:12You're guessing the percentage of people from zero to 100.
24:17Whoever comes closest to the correct answer gets the point.
24:20Next question, please.
24:24We asked 100 average Americans, what does this dashboard symbol stand for?
24:29What percent got it right?
24:32You have 10 seconds.
24:36Please tell me, because mine is on.
24:40What do you think it is, Greg?
24:42That's obviously no horseshoes.
24:45That's tough.
24:46That is tough.
24:46That's tough.
24:47We didn't...
24:47You don't have to tell us what it is.
24:49Do you all even know what it is?
24:50No.
24:50Check engine.
24:51Huh?
24:51Check engine.
24:52No.
24:53It's not?
24:53Oh.
24:55All right.
24:56What is it?
24:58Tire pressure.
24:59Oh, that's right.
24:59Yeah.
25:00I've always known that.
25:01I just forgot at this moment.
25:03All right.
25:04Yolanda, what did you think they would say?
25:06Did they know the answer?
25:07I said 12%.
25:09It makes sense.
25:11Right.
25:12They could have probably done something different.
25:15Joseph?
25:16I also went with 12%.
25:18Woo!
25:19Wow.
25:21Huh?
25:21We're all just trying to win this together.
25:25Laura?
25:26I way overestimated, I think.
25:29And I said 43%.
25:30All right.
25:31Well, we're just nice to see something different than 12%.
25:36Let's see what the percentage was.
25:4244%.
25:43Laura, wow.
25:46Nailed it.
25:47One point, Laura.
25:48There we go.
25:4921% said, I don't know.
25:53This next one is worth two points.
25:57We asked 100 average Americans, which celebrity would you want as your emergency contact?
26:04A, Tom Hanks.
26:06B, Kris Jenner.
26:07C, Oprah.
26:09D, Judge Judy.
26:12You have 10 seconds.
26:15Greg, who's your emergency contact?
26:17Nate Bargesi.
26:18All right.
26:20I answer it all the time.
26:25Yolanda, what'd you say?
26:26A, Tom Hanks.
26:28It's trusted.
26:30You've known him for a long time.
26:33He would get to the bottom of it.
26:35Exactly.
26:35Yes, I agree.
26:36Laura?
26:38I said D, Judge Judy.
26:40I was really, yeah.
26:41Why's that?
26:42I mean, I feel like she would just get business done.
26:46She would know exactly what to do in any situation, and then she could give you legal advice.
26:50So, kind of a win-win.
26:51You wouldn't be worried she would be like, pull the plug.
26:57That's the dice you roll with Judge Judy.
26:59That's the risk I'm willing to take with Judy.
27:01All right.
27:02Joseph?
27:02I feel good.
27:05Judge Judy.
27:06Judge Judy.
27:06Yeah.
27:07Wow.
27:07Fuck.
27:08But Tom Hanks was close because I thought a castaway emergency situation, he knows.
27:12He does know.
27:13He knows the situation.
27:14Oprah, that was tough too, because she knows, like, everybody.
27:17Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:17But Judge Judy is, like, there for business.
27:19No matter what's going on, she's got you covered.
27:21Let's see.
27:22What do the average American say?
27:26Tom Hanks!
27:28Yolanda.
27:28Two points to Yolanda.
27:31All right.
27:32Next question.
27:33This one is worth a whopping three points.
27:36Joseph?
27:37Feeling good.
27:38You need this one.
27:39Last question.
27:42We asked 100 average American supermarket shoppers, who do you least like to see in the checkout line?
27:50A chatty cashier?
27:52B, coupon guy?
27:54C, express lane cheater?
27:58D, wait, one more thing, guy.
28:01Ten seconds.
28:12All right.
28:14Joseph, you have zero points.
28:16This is a big one.
28:19What did you choose?
28:20D, wait, one more thing, guy.
28:23Yeah.
28:23Yeah.
28:24They like it.
28:25Yeah.
28:26It's tough.
28:26Where's that one more thing, you know?
28:28Where is it?
28:29And it's in the back.
28:30It's always far away.
28:32It's always in the back.
28:32It's always in the back.
28:33It's never in the front.
28:34Yeah, I agree.
28:36Laura?
28:36All right.
28:37What did you say?
28:37I went with B, coupon guy.
28:40Yeah.
28:41There's nothing worse than seeing a stack of coupons when I've got things to do.
28:45Shouldn't they go shopping at like 11 p.m.?
28:48Yeah, well, yes, maybe.
28:50You go like, I'm going to go in and do some damage to this grocery store.
28:54Just do it at 11 o'clock at night.
28:57Yolanda?
28:58I said the average American would say C, express lane cheater.
29:02Yeah, that's frustrating.
29:03That's true.
29:04That was tough.
29:05Yeah, that's good.
29:05I got 12 packs of chicken.
29:07That's like over.
29:08No, that's 12 things.
29:10It all comes down to this.
29:12Joseph, this is it.
29:13I feel great.
29:14I feel great.
29:15This is big.
29:15Zero points.
29:17What did the average American say?
29:22Wait, one more thing, guys.
29:25Joseph came from deep.
29:27Finally.
29:28Finally.
29:29Congratulations, Joseph and Yolanda.
29:32You're moving on.
29:34Unfortunately, Laura, you're the most below average American tonight.
29:37Thank you for playing.
29:39When The Greatest Average American returns, we will test my palate.
29:43Do not go anywhere.
29:53Welcome back to The Greatest Average American.
29:57Joseph and Yolanda are one step closer to playing for the average American salary of $67,920.
30:07This next round is all about getting into the mind and body of the original Greatest Average American himself, and
30:12that's me.
30:15Tonight, I am playing Mystery Munch.
30:20I will be blind testing a selection of America's favorite snacks, sweets, drinks, and a couple fun surprises.
30:28Why is the... I don't know why you gotta do that.
30:31There's gonna be 20 of them, and I will have 90 seconds to get through as many as I can.
30:37Joseph, you scored the highest in the first round, so you get to decide.
30:40Would you like to guess the number, I will get right, or the over-under?
30:45I will guess the over-under.
30:47All right.
30:49Yolanda, how many of America's favorite foods do you think I can identify in 90 seconds?
30:55Write down your guess and show Joseph.
31:02All right.
31:02Joseph, you saw.
31:04Do you think I'll go over that number or under it?
31:06Write it down.
31:07And don't show anyone.
31:10All right.
31:11Answers are in.
31:13Julian, I'm going to need your help feeding me on this one, so come up.
31:17Absolutely.
31:17No problem.
31:19Give it up for Julian.
31:23Once I put my blindfold on, you can take the cover off of the food.
31:27Mm-hmm.
31:29All right.
31:31All right.
31:32I cannot see.
31:34How many fingers am I holding up?
31:36I don't know.
31:36Guess.
31:37Two.
31:38You're blind.
31:39All right.
31:39All right.
31:41Take it away.
31:41Take away this stuff.
31:42Oh.
31:43I forgot you're really blind.
31:44Yeah.
31:47Well, you're going to have to trust me.
31:49I'm not going to walk you into anything.
31:50Yeah.
31:51Because I feel a lot of hesitation from you right now.
31:53I'm just feeling me out.
31:54Yeah.
31:55By the way, if you get hurt, my life is over,
31:57so I'm going to be very careful with you.
32:01So I will move you as you eat.
32:03All right.
32:04Okay?
32:04Stand up straight, just, you know, for in general.
32:06Yeah.
32:07And then do you want me to feed you directly into your mouth,
32:12or do you want me to hand you the food and then you eat it?
32:15Is it like...
32:17Intimate?
32:18Yes.
32:18Yes.
32:22Wait, is there no cool way to do this?
32:24No, no.
32:24There's not a...
32:26No, okay.
32:27So I'll put it in your hand.
32:28All right.
32:28All right.
32:29And then as we go, if it seems like we're struggling,
32:31I'll just throw it in your mouth.
32:32Okay.
32:32Okay.
32:34Okay.
32:34And we got 90 seconds on the clock.
32:38On your mark.
32:40Get set.
32:42Nate.
32:44All right.
32:47Well, you don't have to eat all of them.
32:50Airheads.
32:51No.
32:52No.
32:53It's not sour airheads.
32:55Closer.
32:59I mean, one of my sour airheads.
33:01Pass.
33:02Pass.
33:02Okay.
33:02All right.
33:04There you go.
33:06Reese's peanut butter cup.
33:08All right.
33:08Yeah.
33:11Here.
33:12You're not going to finish that.
33:13No, I'm not.
33:14Yeah, you got it.
33:17There you go.
33:18All right.
33:19All right.
33:19Here you go.
33:20Whoa.
33:21Okay.
33:22Oh, this is a drink.
33:23I'm going to put this one.
33:24Oh, I need it.
33:2545 seconds, Nate.
33:26You have two.
33:26No, no.
33:26It's a straw.
33:27It's a straw.
33:28There you go.
33:29Don't eat the straw.
33:36Dr. Pepper.
33:38Yeah.
33:39All right.
33:3930 seconds, Nate.
33:40You have three.
33:43I'm not unwrapping it.
33:45No, no.
33:45Yeah, just eat it.
33:49All right.
33:49York.
33:50Yes.
33:50Yeah.
33:51Good job.
33:5415 seconds, Nate.
33:56Plenty of it.
34:04Five seconds.
34:05Yep.
34:06He said gummy bears.
34:06Three, two, one.
34:09Pickle.
34:10He got at the buzzer.
34:11That's great.
34:12At the buzzer.
34:13Give it to him.
34:13You take it off.
34:15Give it to him.
34:17That's pretty good.
34:18I'm sorry we didn't get to the Oreo.
34:19I know that's your favorite.
34:20Yeah.
34:23All right.
34:25So.
34:29How many did I get?
34:30Seven.
34:31Seven.
34:32And I think they gave you pickle right at the buzzer.
34:34I feel disappointed.
34:35All right.
34:38The moment of truth, Yolanda.
34:40How many did you think I could do?
34:43I overestimated you.
34:45I know.
34:45At 14.
34:46Are there even 14 out there?
34:49Damn, 20.
34:50There's 20.
34:50I think I could have done this.
34:53It was, I, it was, it's, I didn't get this quick.
34:56The blindfold hurts.
34:59I'm so sorry.
35:00I know.
35:00Uh, Joseph, if you guessed under, you win.
35:04But if it's over, then you're going home.
35:06What did you say?
35:09Nate, I said under.
35:12All right.
35:13That means Joseph is moving on.
35:16Congratulations.
35:17You are the greatest average American.
35:21You deserve a little something to go with your new title.
35:23How does $10,000 sound?
35:28But can he turn it into $67,920?
35:35Find out in the bonus round when we return
35:37to the greatest average American.
35:46Welcome back.
35:48I'm here with our winner, Joseph.
35:49Woo!
35:51He has earned the coveted title
35:53of the greatest average American.
35:55And with that comes $10,000.
35:58Pretty good.
35:58I like it.
35:59Pretty good.
36:00Yeah.
36:00That's yours to keep no matter what.
36:02But you now have a chance to increase your winnings
36:05to the average American salary of $67,920.
36:11Let's do it.
36:12Let's do it.
36:13Let's do it.
36:13Let's do it.
36:14I'm going to put a little extra in there
36:15to help cover all your taxes.
36:17Woo!
36:20What will you do with it if you win?
36:23So I have wanted to go and be a lawyer
36:24since I was eight years old.
36:25That's been my dream.
36:26Every boy's dream.
36:27Everyone's dream.
36:28Yeah.
36:29So now I felt really good about all the questions I missed.
36:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:32So I'm actually in my third year of law school,
36:34so this would help pay for tuition
36:35for the rest of my law school career.
36:37Oh, that's awesome.
36:38Yeah.
36:39This is it.
36:40This is it.
36:41This is it.
36:42This finishes it up.
36:42Let's do it.
36:43All right.
36:43These shows, you can think like the average American,
36:46but there's one more group of average Americans
36:47you need to face,
36:48and that's our audience.
36:51Before the show,
36:52let's do it.
36:53Take a good look at them.
36:55Before the show,
36:56we asked them seven questions.
36:57You have 30 seconds to correctly predict
36:59how the majority of them answered.
37:02Get five right,
37:02and your go home is $67,920.
37:06Woo!
37:06Woo!
37:07Woo!
37:09Woo!
37:10Woo!
37:11Woo!
37:11Woo!
37:11Woo!
37:11Woo!
37:12Woo!
37:12And when you're out, if Joseph wins,
37:15you're all going home with one of my favorite things.
37:18Julia?
37:19This audience will all get a membership to Crunch Fitness.
37:24All right!
37:25Woo!
37:25Yeah.
37:26That's the real deal.
37:28All day.
37:28Good jack.
37:29Yeah.
37:31I go to it all the time.
37:3530 seconds on the clock.
37:37Ready?
37:38Here we go.
37:41Who would this audience
37:42rather talk to about their problems,
37:44a friend or a therapist?
37:46A friend.
37:48Which do they prefer,
37:49Taco Tuesday, Pizza Friday?
37:51Taco Tuesday.
37:52Which do they spend more time on,
37:54TikTok, Instagram?
37:55Instagram.
37:57Do they say bless you when someone sneezes?
37:59Yes.
38:00This is Nashville.
38:01Do they mail birthday cards to friends?
38:03That's hard.
38:04Yes.
38:05Do they floss their teeth every day?
38:08No.
38:10Do they prefer bubbly water or regular water?
38:12Bubly water.
38:14Seven.
38:14There we go.
38:16Let's take a look at your answers.
38:21Bubbly water.
38:22We've got a fancy crowd out there, don't we?
38:24We do.
38:24I saw them.
38:25I saw LaCroix.
38:27Yeah, you go.
38:27I was like, all right, let's do this, guys.
38:29You want to start with it?
38:30Let's just, you know.
38:31Shall we?
38:32We're already there.
38:32We're already there.
38:34I'm curious about it.
38:36But do they prefer bubbly water or regular water?
38:39You said bubbly.
38:40What did the audience say?
38:43All right.
38:45I know.
38:46It's, I know.
38:48Okay.
38:48We got it out of the way.
38:49It's done.
38:50It's done now.
38:51All right.
38:52We're going to go back to the top.
38:53Who would this audience rather talk to about their problems?
38:55A friend or a therapist?
38:56You said a friend.
38:58Did the audience say a friend?
39:02There we go.
39:03There we go.
39:04All right.
39:06All right.
39:08Which do they prefer?
39:10Taco Tuesday or Pizza Friday?
39:12You said Taco Tuesday.
39:14Audience, did you say Taco Tuesday?
39:18All right.
39:19We got two, baby.
39:21We're rolling.
39:22So close.
39:23We're rolling.
39:26I wasn't sure about this one.
39:27Which do they spend more time on?
39:30TikTok or Instagram?
39:32You weren't sure you thought it would be the other way?
39:33It could have been a toss-up.
39:35Just because TikTok's so popular and there's so many educational videos.
39:37You said Instagram.
39:39Audience, did you say Instagram as well?
39:43There we go.
39:45One, two, three.
39:46All right.
39:47We got three.
39:52Do they say bless you when someone sneezes?
39:56This is the South.
39:56This is Nashville.
39:57Yeah.
39:58This is...
39:58It might have been invented here.
40:00Southern hospitality.
40:00That's what I heard.
40:01That's what I heard.
40:03Audience, do you bless people?
40:08Yes, they do.
40:09Four.
40:10Woo!
40:11All right.
40:13You just got to get one of these right.
40:16And you will win the average American salary.
40:18You got two left.
40:19Which one do you want?
40:20Let's just go in order.
40:21I'll go with five.
40:23Okay.
40:23Yeah, in order.
40:24It feels like that crowd.
40:25It feels like the crowd.
40:25They will send the birthday cards to their friends.
40:28Yes.
40:28Do they mail birthday cards to their friends?
40:31You said yes.
40:32Audience, did you say yes?
40:34Is he going home with $67,920?
40:38The answer is...
40:45Well, we say bless you.
40:47It would be too much.
40:48That's too much.
40:49It's too much to also send a card.
40:51I'm not sure on the card.
40:52Yeah.
40:53All right.
40:55I mean, this, I don't know.
40:57I wasn't sure.
40:58Do they floss their teeth every day?
41:01There's 365 days in here.
41:03That's a lot of days.
41:03It's a lot of days.
41:04You can forget one day and it's no longer true.
41:07But, uh, yeah, I agree.
41:08This is it, though.
41:09This is either going to go one way or the other.
41:16$67,920.
41:20It all comes down to this audience flossing their teeth or not.
41:26Please don't.
41:27Audience, do you not floss your teeth every day?
41:43Oh, my God.
41:45Oh, my God.
41:46Oh, my God.
41:47Long school in school.
41:48Long school in school.
41:50Oh, man.
41:52Congrats.
41:52That's so great.
41:53All right.
41:55Congratulations, Joseph.
41:57He's won $67,920.
42:00An audience, you know what that means?
42:02Everyone in the home is going home with a Crunch Fitness membership.
42:06Oh, my God.
42:07Oh, my God.
42:08Join us next time to watch another Average American rise to greatness, right here on
42:14The Greatest Average American.
42:17Thank you for not flossing.
42:19Thanks for not flossing.
42:20And being honest about it.
42:21Yeah.
42:21Yeah.
42:22Oh, my God.
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