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00:00:11Oh
00:00:14Golly, well, what if Donald shouts at me?
00:00:19What do I say labby
00:00:23Just be yourself Prime Minister yourself is who everyone likes
00:00:30Hello
00:00:35I've sought that scary scary wonderful president
00:00:40Why is it so blubber difficult to talk to?
00:00:44Just be honest and tell them we can't send any more ships to the Strait of Hormuz Oh
00:00:50Crumbs, I just hate conflict so much
00:00:55Are you referring to the wall or this phone call?
00:00:57Isn't there a way I could not do both?
00:01:01I just want to keep him happy labby
00:01:04You don't understand him like I do I could change him I
00:01:11Don't think the feelings mutual he can't stop insulting you he called you a coward about a budette there labby
00:01:19How did this trust make this job look so easy?
00:01:24Look
00:01:26We were worried you'd lose your nerve so we've taken steps to help you gain unfounded confidence
00:01:31Mr. Prime Minister meet your Gen Z advisor at Luke whoopee what's up stoms eat?
00:01:36Oh, oh, oh
00:01:38Whoopee is the most qualified person we have he is the only person under 23 who voted labor and would
00:01:43so again in the next election?
00:01:47You're not voting for the Green Party?
00:01:50You're not voting for the Green Party?
00:01:50Nah, my dad works in oil
00:01:52No caps, Tomsy, I love you and I do hearts this way with my thumb
00:01:57Thank you at little hoopie, I love you too
00:02:02Sir Keir is trying to set boundaries with the president while preserving their special relationship
00:02:06No, see facts facts, okay, so you're looking for more of a special situation ship, okay?
00:02:14I've got you covered. I'm an expert in messy drama. I've been in three throuples and I'm currently gay
00:02:22First thing you gotta do you gotta forget the phone call these days all about the voice note. Oh, I'll
00:02:27try anything
00:02:28I'll do anything
00:02:31Except take a stand
00:02:34That is so keir-coded. Hey listen take the phone and just speak from the heart
00:02:42Hi Donald
00:02:45I'm afraid I can't go to war with you
00:02:49But that doesn't mean we can't still be chums
00:02:53America and Britain have a long proud tradition of cooperation and nothing can take that away
00:03:00Remember the good times
00:03:02Remember D-day
00:03:06Remember Live Aid
00:03:08Remember Iraq
00:03:10For the first week and then none of the rest
00:03:15Remember Helen Baxendale on Friends
00:03:20Remember Hugh Laurie on Friends
00:03:24Remember the episode of Friends where they all came to London
00:03:28Remember the one
00:03:29Remember the one where Joey put on all of childless clothes
00:03:34That was a funny one
00:03:39Get back on track so keir
00:03:41Yes
00:03:41And most importantly remember the one where Ross and Rachel were on a break
00:03:47I think perhaps that's what we need
00:03:50Not forever
00:03:51Just until you've got all this war out of your system
00:03:55Listen we want different things
00:03:58I know how badly you want to start world war three
00:04:02And that's great
00:04:04You should absolutely do that
00:04:07But we can't be a part of it
00:04:09You can however use the naval bases whenever you want
00:04:15Me bassa sue bassa
00:04:17Me bassa sue bassa
00:04:25Sick job kiddo
00:04:27Good work sir keir
00:04:28You did the bare minimum
00:04:31And that's all people expect
00:04:33Thank you lamby
00:04:35It just goes to show
00:04:38While we may not agree with everything America does
00:04:41We can still be civil
00:04:43And embrace their wonderful
00:04:47Unproblematic culture
00:04:49Speaking of which
00:04:51Live from London
00:04:53It's Saturday Night Live
00:05:05It's Saturday Night Live
00:05:09With
00:05:12Mamed Anamashan
00:05:19Ayawade Bamboye
00:05:25Larry Dean
00:05:32Celeste Dring
00:05:38George
00:05:40George
00:05:40Four Acres
00:05:45Anya Magliano
00:05:51Annabelle Marlowe
00:05:56Al Nash
00:06:01Jack Sheff
00:06:07Emma Biddy
00:06:09Emma Biddy
00:06:15Paddy Young
00:06:17Paddy Young
00:06:21Musical guest
00:06:23Wet Leg
00:06:28And your host
00:06:30Tina Fey
00:06:40Ladies and gentlemen
00:06:42Tina Fey
00:06:44Ladies and gentlemen
00:06:58Tina Fey
00:07:02Thank you very much.
00:07:03Oh, my gosh.
00:07:04I am so excited to be here in London.
00:07:07It is an absolute honor and honestly, kind of historic.
00:07:11Guys, I am the youngest person ever to host SNL UK.
00:07:20Again, my name is Tina Fey.
00:07:22Here in the UK, you might know me as the teacher from Mean Girls.
00:07:29Or you might remember a long time ago when I played Sarah Palin on SNL US.
00:07:37Or maybe you feel like you recognize me as the lady from the show Veep.
00:07:42And that's fine, too.
00:07:44Let's go with that.
00:07:45So why do a UK version of SNL?
00:07:48Well, like so many large-scale American operations these days, no one really knows why.
00:07:56But here's what this is, okay?
00:07:58It is a sketch comedy show.
00:08:00There will be a different celebrity host each week.
00:08:03There will be music performances.
00:08:04And the show is truly live.
00:08:07So things may go wrong.
00:08:09Things may have already gone wrong.
00:08:11My pants were supposed to be full length.
00:08:15And I'm so excited for you to meet your cast.
00:08:17They are wonderful.
00:08:18I can't even begin to understand them when they speak.
00:08:23One boy is either Scottish or choking.
00:08:27I can't tell.
00:08:28But their energy is A+.
00:08:30And I'm going to stay out of their way tonight as much as possible.
00:08:34I'm just here as a long-time SNL employee to help out and to answer, like, any questions anyone might
00:08:42have.
00:08:43Oh, hi!
00:08:44Yeah, Nicola Coughlin.
00:08:50It is lovely to see you.
00:08:52But my question is, if this is SNL UK, then why are you the first host?
00:08:58Like, shouldn't it be like a British icon, like David Beckham or Judi Dench or like Shrek?
00:09:04Wait, Shrek is British?
00:09:06Scotland is in Britain, Tina.
00:09:09Educate yourself.
00:09:10Okay, sorry, my apologies.
00:09:11Well, that is a valid question.
00:09:13Why an American host?
00:09:15And the way it was explained to me was that for this first episode anyway, how do I put this
00:09:21politely?
00:09:22None of you fuckers would do it?
00:09:26Does that make sense?
00:09:27It does.
00:09:28It does.
00:09:28But is it possible that many of us were a little reluctant to be in the first show because this
00:09:35is going out in Britain?
00:09:36And British people tend to root for the failure of others.
00:09:40Yes, yeah.
00:09:41Yeah, why are you guys like that?
00:09:43Well, not me.
00:09:44I'm Irish.
00:09:46Educate yourself.
00:09:49Look, that all is to say, if this show is a hit and if you do ever happen to get
00:09:52Olly Murs for Musical Guest, I would be honoured to come back and win a BAFTA for it.
00:09:58Amazing.
00:09:59Well, that's great to know.
00:10:00Thank you, Nicola.
00:10:05Any other questions?
00:10:06Oh, sure.
00:10:07Michael Cera.
00:10:08Hi.
00:10:13Hi, Tina.
00:10:14Hi, Michael.
00:10:15Why are you here?
00:10:15You're not British.
00:10:17No, I'm Canadian.
00:10:18It's part of the Commonwealth.
00:10:20Educate yourself.
00:10:21Sorry.
00:10:24I don't really have a question, but I just wanted to say, I think you just swore a second ago.
00:10:28You said the F word.
00:10:30Oh, yeah.
00:10:30We are allowed to swear in this version of the show.
00:10:37It's crazy.
00:10:38Can I try?
00:10:39Sure, if you want to.
00:10:43Shitbird.
00:10:44Just fucking...
00:10:46bollocks.
00:10:49I think I would use it sparingly.
00:10:50It feels kind of unclassy.
00:10:51Yeah, you know what?
00:10:52That's...
00:10:52You're right.
00:10:53I agree, Michael.
00:10:54That's a great note.
00:10:54Thank you so much.
00:10:58We have time for one more.
00:11:01Oh, yes.
00:11:01Graham Norton.
00:11:05So nice to see you.
00:11:07I just wondered, did you know that this is usually my studio?
00:11:11Yeah, I did hear that, Graham.
00:11:13Thank you for loaning it to us.
00:11:14Oh, would you mind if I came up there and just showed you a fiddly thing about this place?
00:11:18Oh, I would love it.
00:11:18Come on, Graham Norton, everybody.
00:11:20Come on up.
00:11:23Great.
00:11:23Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:11:25Yeah, sure.
00:11:26Now, Tina, I believe you've always had a deep love of British comedy.
00:11:32Are you interviewing me now?
00:11:34Let me help you.
00:11:36I have a gift for making American celebrities likable to a British audience.
00:11:41Wait, are we not likable?
00:11:43Oh.
00:11:46Hey, I hear you have a really funny story about watching British television as a young child.
00:11:52Oh, well, yes, actually.
00:11:54Growing up, we thought that anything British was educational, so my parents showed us all
00:11:59British shows, and we used to watch Benny Hill as a family.
00:12:03No.
00:12:04As a young girl, you would watch Benny Hill?
00:12:07No.
00:12:08It really messed me up sexually.
00:12:12What about AbFab?
00:12:13Oh, sweetie, darling, you're just a little shop girl, darling.
00:12:15Keeping up appearances.
00:12:17Richard!
00:12:18Oh, Monty Python.
00:12:19That is an ex-parrot!
00:12:21Fawlty Towers.
00:12:22Nobody mention the war!
00:12:23Are you being served?
00:12:24My pussy is like an alarm club.
00:12:27Reggie Perrin.
00:12:28I didn't get where I am today by waffling.
00:12:31Deep cut, Monty Python.
00:12:32We lived in shoebox in middle of road.
00:12:35East Enders.
00:12:36I killed Ethel.
00:12:38Oh, ma!
00:12:40David Brid.
00:12:43David Red.
00:12:43There's been a rape up there!
00:12:45And TikTok trends.
00:12:47Nothing beats a Jet 2 holiday.
00:12:50Autoglass repair!
00:12:51Autoglass replace!
00:12:52Oh, that's what you mean!
00:12:54They're all yours now, Tina.
00:12:56All yours.
00:12:57We've got a great show.
00:12:58Wet Leg is here.
00:12:59Stick around and watch this!
00:13:06When it comes to age-defying skincare, I don't need a time machine.
00:13:11I just need something that works.
00:13:14So I can bring back the spark in me.
00:13:17And in us.
00:13:21And now, I've found it.
00:13:23The anti-aging cream that works so well, everyone will think your husband is a nonce.
00:13:29Life!
00:13:30No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:13:31She's my wife!
00:13:32She's a grown woman!
00:13:33Shut your mouth!
00:13:34You made me sick.
00:13:39Introducing Indoraj.
00:13:41With active compounds in hyaluronic acid, Indoraj delivers special protection for your skin
00:13:46and ensures your husband will need special protection when he's in jail.
00:13:51My wife's skin has never looked more youthful and fresh.
00:13:54It's destroyed my life.
00:13:55Thanks, Indoraj.
00:13:57My skin looks so fresh.
00:13:59My husband can't go anywhere without being hunted by right-wing, paedophile-catching militias.
00:14:08Frank, someone's at the door.
00:14:11Thanks, Indoraj.
00:14:13My husband is no longer allowed within 200 feet of a score.
00:14:17My husband lost his record deal.
00:14:19And some, but not all, of his fans.
00:14:24He loves the way I look.
00:14:26Yeah, but, you know, not like that.
00:14:28Sorry.
00:14:29Excuse me.
00:14:30Little girl.
00:14:32Do you know this man?
00:14:33That's my wife.
00:14:35You sick bastard.
00:14:37He's married to an Indoraj girl.
00:14:39He's married to an Indoraj girl.
00:14:43I'm going to have a pronounce that right.
00:14:47No, I don't mean that.
00:14:49No, I didn't mean that.
00:14:51No, it's the name of the thing.
00:14:54Indoraj.
00:14:55I'm not underage.
00:14:57Or am I?
00:14:58She's not.
00:14:59She's not.
00:15:00Indoraj by Pieter Le.
00:15:10Hello.
00:15:12I'm David Attenborough.
00:15:15And it can't be long now.
00:15:21As the only remaining national treasure not on that list,
00:15:26I enjoy a place as one of 90% of the British public's dream dinner party guests.
00:15:34But I'm often asked, who would be on mine?
00:15:38Well, using DNA sampling and my own brother's Jurassic Park technology,
00:15:45I have reanimated some of history's greatest Britons for one night only.
00:15:50So that I can ask them, what really makes Britain great?
00:15:55This is David Attenborough's Last Supper.
00:16:07I'd like to welcome my guests.
00:16:10Prime Minister Winston Churchill.
00:16:14Astronomer and mathematician Sir Isaac Newton.
00:16:18Nurse Mary C. Cole.
00:16:21Diana, Princess of Wales.
00:16:27Author, Agatha Christie.
00:16:30Poet, Benjamin Zephaniah.
00:16:34Freddie Mercury from Queen.
00:16:36Eey-ho!
00:16:38And Elizabeth I from Being the Queen.
00:16:41Eey-ho!
00:16:43And, surprise, surprise,
00:16:45It's Cilla Black.
00:16:47Eey-ho, Chuck!
00:16:49Thank you so much for hosting this dinner party, Sir David.
00:16:53You're very welcome, Princess Di.
00:16:56Now,
00:16:58as this cloning technology
00:17:01only works
00:17:03for one hour,
00:17:06I'll cut to the chase.
00:17:08What do you think makes Britain great?
00:17:13Before we commence,
00:17:15there is a mystery I should like to solve.
00:17:18Are we doing starters?
00:17:21I'm getting a starter and bleeding starving.
00:17:24Yes.
00:17:25Order whatever you like.
00:17:27Tonight is about thrilling conversation
00:17:29and the greatness
00:17:30of Great Britain.
00:17:32Yes,
00:17:33Winston Churchill.
00:17:34Shall we get three starters
00:17:36for the table
00:17:37and do picky bits?
00:17:39Eey-ho!
00:17:42Freddie says he wants the croquettes.
00:17:44Oh, yeah.
00:17:46I'd have the croquettes,
00:17:47but I only want a little nibble.
00:17:48Thanks for having me.
00:17:54Er...
00:17:55Well, hang on, hang on.
00:17:57By my calculations,
00:17:59there are three croquettes
00:18:00in one order
00:18:01and ten of us.
00:18:02Therefore,
00:18:02if we order three portions,
00:18:03one person will miss out.
00:18:05The solution is simple.
00:18:06We order four.
00:18:07Hmm.
00:18:08That means that three people
00:18:10will get two croquettes.
00:18:12But who?
00:18:13Another mystery.
00:18:14Look, look, look, look.
00:18:16Don't worry about the food.
00:18:18The BBC have spared no expense
00:18:20bringing you back to life.
00:18:23I'm sure they're happy
00:18:24to cover one dinner
00:18:26at the Ivy.
00:18:28Now,
00:18:28as to the source
00:18:30of Britain's greatness...
00:18:32Not to be that person,
00:18:33but I don't like croquettes.
00:18:34I'd rather get the soup.
00:18:35Hi, about.
00:18:36That's a lot of starter
00:18:37just for use.
00:18:39Happy to eat, Eddie.
00:18:41Freddie's right.
00:18:42We shouldn't all have to pay
00:18:43for your starter.
00:18:44No, no one's paying.
00:18:45No one's paying.
00:18:47It's...
00:18:48It's covered, guys.
00:18:50Tonight,
00:18:51it's about
00:18:52scintillating conversation
00:18:54and
00:18:55learning from each other.
00:18:57Yes,
00:18:57Benjamin Zephaniah.
00:18:58Do you think
00:18:59each coffee comes
00:19:00with a free rice?
00:19:01If it has an asterisk
00:19:03next to its name,
00:19:04then it comes
00:19:05with a free rice.
00:19:08People on the street.
00:19:09You're right, Freddie.
00:19:11There are some people
00:19:12on the street,
00:19:12but that doesn't answer
00:19:14the question
00:19:14about poppadoms.
00:19:16Stop it.
00:19:18Stop it now.
00:19:20It doesn't matter
00:19:22what we have to eat.
00:19:24Put that down.
00:19:26Put it...
00:19:28This experiment
00:19:29has been a complete
00:19:30waste of time
00:19:31and money.
00:19:33The answer I was looking for
00:19:35as to what makes
00:19:35Britain truly great
00:19:37was the NHS
00:19:38and centre parks.
00:19:41There!
00:19:42You've ruined it.
00:19:44Dinner over.
00:19:47Now we shall move on
00:19:49to the lovemaking portion
00:19:51of the evening.
00:19:53Anybody who wants
00:19:55to leave,
00:19:56now's your chance.
00:20:00Head over to iPlayer now
00:20:02to see the full
00:20:03uncut edition
00:20:04of David Attenborough's
00:20:05Last Supper.
00:20:43How you doing?
00:20:45I'm Ed Boobies.
00:20:46Welcome to Boobies
00:20:47Goes to the Films,
00:20:48the show
00:20:49about all things cinema.
00:20:51And this is a very special day.
00:20:53I'm pinching myself,
00:20:54to be honest.
00:20:54We've got Ricky Hall
00:20:55and Lena Phyllis in the host.
00:20:58In the host.
00:21:00What's happening?
00:21:01Good to be here.
00:21:02They're here to talk to us
00:21:03through their new film
00:21:04Hot Streak
00:21:05and they are two
00:21:06icons of cinema.
00:21:07I hope you don't mind me saying.
00:21:09No, I don't mind at all.
00:21:10Keep saying it.
00:21:14Lena,
00:21:15I've been a fan
00:21:16since your first film
00:21:17Sunrise Eyes.
00:21:18Wow,
00:21:19that's a deep cut.
00:21:20Oh, yeah.
00:21:22Cult classic colour.
00:21:24And Ricky,
00:21:26Crazy Goat,
00:21:27underrated movie.
00:21:29Thanks so much, man.
00:21:30No, no, thank you.
00:21:31And I guess I'm trying to say
00:21:32I love you
00:21:33and your work so much.
00:21:34I hope that's not too creepy.
00:21:36No, thank you.
00:21:37Thanks so much, man.
00:21:37Okay, so let's talk about
00:21:39Hot Streak.
00:21:40I watched this last night.
00:21:41It fucking sucked.
00:21:49Excuse me?
00:21:51It sucked.
00:21:53So bad.
00:21:55Like, all the way through.
00:21:55What happened?
00:22:02Um...
00:22:03Lena, you first.
00:22:06Yeah, um,
00:22:06well, we
00:22:07loved working on this movie.
00:22:09Uh-huh.
00:22:10Yeah, it was a dream
00:22:10to work with Vicky,
00:22:11our director.
00:22:13But why did it suck so bad,
00:22:15like, all the way through?
00:22:16Well, I don't,
00:22:17I don't think it sucked.
00:22:18It did.
00:22:20Did it?
00:22:20Yeah, all the way through.
00:22:23Where's our PR?
00:22:24No, no, he's gone
00:22:25to get me some fruit.
00:22:26Look.
00:22:28I could be wrong.
00:22:29I don't think I am.
00:22:31But I could be.
00:22:32Let's check out a clip.
00:22:35You have to listen to Vicky,
00:22:36and you are only...
00:22:37Oh.
00:22:39Oh, boo!
00:22:42This sucking so bad, Vicky!
00:22:44You're not even acting there.
00:22:46I mean, you are acting,
00:22:47but it's so wrong
00:22:48and sour.
00:22:50You know?
00:22:51No, no, stop the tape.
00:22:53Stop the tape.
00:22:54It's just...
00:22:54That sucks.
00:22:58I just...
00:23:02I just...
00:23:03I just know if you tried,
00:23:05if everyone tried
00:23:06and, like,
00:23:07it gave me everything,
00:23:08we could have got there.
00:23:10It didn't have to be good.
00:23:12You know?
00:23:13I don't need good.
00:23:14I just need it not to fucking suck.
00:23:17Like, all the way through.
00:23:19Can everything stop sucking
00:23:20all the time?
00:23:21Because it's making my life bad.
00:23:24Is that too much to ask?
00:23:26Please!
00:23:28Sorry.
00:23:29We're...
00:23:29We're sorry.
00:23:31That's okay.
00:23:33Join us next time
00:23:34on Boobies Goes to the Films.
00:23:36I've been at Boobies
00:23:37wishing you a decent day.
00:23:39Oh, get in, legend.
00:23:40Thanks.
00:23:46Get to work.
00:23:47What a time to be alive, people.
00:23:49My name is Turpin Turpin.
00:23:50Yep.
00:23:51Both my names are Turpin.
00:23:52Great job.
00:23:53All right.
00:23:54Jan, how are you?
00:23:54Good.
00:23:55Yes.
00:23:55What do we do here?
00:23:56We're all working together
00:23:57to make the internet
00:23:58as bad as we can possibly get it.
00:24:00It's...
00:24:00It's a team effort.
00:24:01I'm Jan.
00:24:02I'm almost 19
00:24:03and I'm the password manager.
00:24:05Essentially, my job is
00:24:06just before you enter
00:24:08in a short, memorable password
00:24:09of your own,
00:24:10I come up with a very long
00:24:11and complicated one
00:24:12once I'll remember it
00:24:13and then I don't.
00:24:15I'm the X-Man.
00:24:17I do all the X's
00:24:17for online adverts.
00:24:19We try and make them
00:24:19smaller than any human finger.
00:24:21Even if you do manage to close it,
00:24:22what does an X even mean?
00:24:23Sometimes it can mean
00:24:24close this window.
00:24:26Sometimes it can mean
00:24:27open four more windows.
00:24:29It can mean out.
00:24:30I think most people
00:24:31think it's the first one.
00:24:33Most people voted for Hitler.
00:24:37Sorry.
00:24:38I'm online a lot.
00:24:39Don't know what's real.
00:24:40The thing is,
00:24:41is there are websites
00:24:42that no one would ever
00:24:43intentionally visit.
00:24:44You know,
00:24:45no one actually wants
00:24:46to enter the Omaze house draw.
00:24:47No one is really owed money
00:24:49just being born
00:24:50between 1995 and 1997
00:24:52and no one intentionally
00:24:53clicks on family guy porn.
00:24:56Except me.
00:24:57But that's only because
00:24:58of how much I like
00:24:59to look at it.
00:25:00This is good, people.
00:25:01This is good.
00:25:03Woo!
00:25:04My speciality.
00:25:05I'm the guy who moves
00:25:06things at the last second
00:25:07so that people click
00:25:07on the wrong stuff online.
00:25:16Okay, she's about to click.
00:25:17Stand by.
00:25:17Standing by.
00:25:24She's hovering.
00:25:27She's hovering.
00:25:30And...
00:25:31Budget.
00:25:34I know him.
00:25:37Yes!
00:25:40Yes!
00:25:43That's five seconds.
00:25:44She won't get back.
00:25:46So...
00:25:47we got her.
00:25:50Oh, that's beautiful.
00:25:53Do you get paid?
00:25:54No.
00:25:55No, no, no.
00:25:57Well, let me ask you this.
00:25:58Let me ask you this.
00:25:59Do you get paid for your job?
00:26:00Yeah.
00:26:04Interesting.
00:26:12Gosh, ten hours of labour.
00:26:14Doesn't look like this little man's
00:26:15in a rush.
00:26:16Why is it taking so long?
00:26:18Don't worry.
00:26:19He's just a bit...
00:26:20He's just a bit shy.
00:26:20Oh, he's just a bit shy.
00:26:22Oh, look at this.
00:26:24Oh, bless him.
00:26:26Well, there's not wrong with being shy, is there?
00:26:29Oh, not wrong at all.
00:26:31I think I prefer a shy one, to be honest.
00:26:34Not in my way.
00:26:35I'm Dr. Amanda Miller.
00:26:36I graduated Harvard.
00:26:37Summa cum laude.
00:26:38My kids are very mean to me, but I don't have time to get into that right now.
00:26:42Wait, where's the obstetrician here?
00:26:44He's just a bit shy, isn't he?
00:26:46I wish that was the case.
00:26:47I'm so sorry, Mrs. Cook, but your baby is not shy.
00:26:50He's something much more sinister.
00:26:53He's pretending to be shy for attention.
00:26:59And we need to act fast before it metastasizes.
00:27:03But this all seems a bit dramatic.
00:27:05Well, unless you want your son to be an adult man who is addicted to cancelling plans,
00:27:10let me do my goddamn job.
00:27:14Well, wait, hang on.
00:27:16What if he's shy around strangers, but he lets his guard down around people he trusts?
00:27:21Like an introverted extrovert.
00:27:23Yeah, those are essentially a myth.
00:27:25Most people who make a big deal out of being shy are, medically speaking, fake-ass divas.
00:27:32That son of mine's gonna be a fake-ass diva.
00:27:35I mean, look, I'm no doctor.
00:27:38I'm just a stupid rocket scientist.
00:27:40But I think he's genuinely shy.
00:27:45Okay, but like, now he's dancing.
00:27:55I'm just like, why, why would a genuinely shy person do that?
00:28:00Wait, he's, he's quite good.
00:28:02Oh my God.
00:28:03He is quite good.
00:28:06He, he's not amazing, but he's quite good.
00:28:09He's not spirit.
00:28:10You, you can tell he's actually enjoying himself.
00:28:12Hey!
00:28:14Ho!
00:28:15Hey!
00:28:16Ho!
00:28:17Mr. and Mrs. Cook, this is serious.
00:28:20Okay, an authentically shy person would not pop their puss in this manner.
00:28:26Oh Harry, maybe she's right.
00:28:29What if our son is giving cringe?
00:28:32Only claiming to be socially awkward on it suits him.
00:28:35And slash them.
00:28:37He's sitting in the corner at parties because he gets overwhelmed,
00:28:41but then he's the loudest and most abrasive person there by quite some distance.
00:28:47The type of bitch to give a presentation at work and make the whole thing about how nervous he is,
00:28:51even though it's like, girl, you volunteered to do this.
00:28:55Oh no.
00:28:57Now he's holding his hands out to show that they're shaking,
00:28:59but it's obvious it's him who's making it happen.
00:29:04Doctor, do something!
00:29:06Grab a leg.
00:29:08Honey, are you the diamond in my wedding ring?
00:29:11Because you are fake as hell and we can see right through you, okay?
00:29:16Okay, well he's dancing again.
00:29:18Oh, God.
00:29:19Doctor, please!
00:29:20We just want him out of there safe and sound!
00:29:24Fine.
00:29:25I promised myself I would never do this.
00:29:29Hey, sweetie.
00:29:30How are you feeling?
00:29:32So, um, a bunch of us are thinking of doing karaoke?
00:29:37Ah!
00:29:37Stop! Don't leave without me!
00:29:40But I'm literally just gonna watch.
00:29:42Woo!
00:29:44He's coming!
00:29:45He's coming!
00:29:45He's coming!
00:29:46Oh!
00:29:47Oh!
00:29:47Congratulations!
00:29:49He's a nightmare!
00:30:05Ladies and gentlemen, wet leg!
00:30:15Nice child!
00:30:17Get out the way!
00:30:19You're in our way!
00:30:20You bought him feet up!
00:30:22Too bad!
00:30:24You couldn't stay!
00:30:26You're in our way!
00:30:28You're in our way!
00:30:30You bought him feet up!
00:30:35Too bad!
00:30:37You couldn't stay!
00:30:43You think I'm pretty, you think I'm pretty cool
00:30:47You wanna fuck me, I know most people do
00:30:50You take this packet, you read it, it says much too
00:30:54I gave you magic beans, I hope you're gonna get out soon
00:30:58Oh man, I hope you're gonna get out soon
00:31:02I really hope you're gonna get out soon
00:31:05Oh man, I hope you're gonna get out soon
00:31:13Good job, give you an A, a golden star
00:31:18You think I'm never, good God
00:31:21She took a break, made a mistake
00:31:25But she needs trouble, get out forever
00:31:32Get out forever
00:31:36Get out forever
00:31:41You think I'm pretty, you think I'm pretty cool
00:31:45You wanna fuck me, I know most people do
00:31:48You take this packet, you read it, it says much too
00:31:52I gave you magic beans, I hope you're gonna get out soon
00:31:55I really hope you're gonna get out soon
00:31:59Oh man, I hope you're gonna get out soon
00:32:02I really hope you're gonna get out soon
00:32:06I know you're up at night, pushed over your phone line
00:32:13A dream that the hill is crooked from the wind that bites
00:32:21You say you're lost at sea, call the RNA light
00:32:28You're washed up irrelevant, you're standing in my light
00:32:35You're standing in my light
00:32:39You're standing in my light
00:32:42You're standing in my light
00:32:48You think I'm pretty, you think I'm pretty cool
00:32:52You say I'm scared, I know most people do
00:32:56This is the real world, honey
00:32:58Yeah baby, spite of everything
00:33:01All business you're smoking it, cool
00:33:03Nice try, now get out of the way
00:33:06Good job, you take a fucking
00:33:09I said I'll see you, you wanna be you, you wanna be
00:33:13Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
00:33:16Nice try, get out of the way
00:33:20You're in our way
00:33:22Get lost forever
00:33:55It's Weekend Update
00:33:57It's Weekend Update
00:33:58With Anya Magliano
00:34:00And Paddy Young
00:34:10I'm Paddy Young
00:34:11And I'm Anya Magliano
00:34:17Coming up on tonight's Weekend Update
00:34:19Paedophilia
00:34:20But first
00:34:22War
00:34:25Yesterday in a shock U-turn
00:34:26Keir Starmer finally gave his consent for President Trump
00:34:30To use British bases to protect the Strait of Hormuz
00:34:33At which point Trump said
00:34:35Consent?
00:34:36Now you've taken all the fun out of it
00:34:40As Iranian strikes continue to hit Dubai
00:34:43The cost of chartering a private jet has risen so high
00:34:46That many influencers have been struggling to flee
00:34:49I must stress though, it's not all good news
00:34:57If any influencers are killed, and again, we can only hope they are
00:35:02At least they'll be easy to identify by their dental records
00:35:05They're the massive white ones made in Turkey
00:35:09You've got a feel for them
00:35:10They went there to evade income tax and now they have to evade income in a tax
00:35:15We're now three weeks into the Iran war
00:35:17Which started with the death of one Ayatollah Khomeini
00:35:20And the appointment of another Ayatollah Khomeini
00:35:23Khomeini, two but one's dead now
00:35:33Not everyone in NATO wants to get involved
00:35:35German Defence Minister Boris Pistorius said there would be no military participation from Germany
00:35:41Where was this energy in 1939?
00:35:47Also, is there a more evil name than Boris Pistorius?
00:35:53How do you do the name Saddam Walliams?
00:36:00The head of the Asian Football Confederation said this week
00:36:04That Iran is still set to play at the upcoming World Cup in America
00:36:08If Iran does take part, America has guaranteed
00:36:11That all of their matches will be refereed by a completely impartial MQ-9 Reaper drone
00:36:18We all know the supply of oil has been affected by this war
00:36:22But the Strait of Hormuz is also the primary route for a third of the world's helium
00:36:26A spokesperson for the helium industry said
00:36:36We've run out of helium
00:36:46With pressure mounting to secure the Strait of Hormuz
00:36:50And the Royal Navy almost completely out of action
00:36:52The government have decided to send in the only British naval captain who's ready to go
00:36:58Please welcome Captain Birdseye
00:37:07Now Captain, I think the question a lot of people at home are asking is
00:37:15Why is the government sending a fish finger man to a red hot war zone?
00:37:20Fish finger man?
00:37:21I am the purveyor of the finest fish fingers in the land
00:37:24Succulent cod fillets and a perfectly crispy golden crumb
00:37:28Only the best for the captain's table
00:37:30Fish finger?
00:37:31Captain Birdseye, can I remind you, this is a military operation
00:37:35Exactly
00:37:36Preparation
00:37:36Timing
00:37:37Control
00:37:39Six minutes one side
00:37:40Turn
00:37:41Six minutes the other
00:37:42Now that's what I call a proper fish finger
00:37:46Fish finger?
00:37:47You're about to be deployed to a ramp
00:37:49Can you stop banging on about fish fingers?
00:37:51Fine!
00:37:52We also do chicken dippers
00:37:55Potato waffles
00:37:56And for some reason, the devil only knows
00:37:58Peas
00:37:59Captain, there are real lives at stake here
00:38:02Oh!
00:38:03You want to get real, do you, you scurvy little deck rat?
00:38:07Alright, answer me this
00:38:09You think I've spent the last five decades
00:38:11Sailing around in a 150-foot schooner
00:38:14With 300 singing children
00:38:16Just to sell fish fingers, do ye?
00:38:18I'm sorry, did you say 300 singing children?
00:38:20Cause I'll tell you what's real
00:38:23You bilge drinking haddock
00:38:25What's real
00:38:26Is the nation's favourite fish fingers are just a cover
00:38:28For my actual work
00:38:30Special forces black ops savagery
00:38:32That would haunt your dreams
00:38:34What's real
00:38:35Is opening up a Serbian mercenary's neck with a machete
00:38:38Watching it yawn open, hot and steaming
00:38:42Like a split fish finger
00:38:44This is insane
00:38:46This is insane
00:38:46Insane!
00:38:47I'll show you insane!
00:38:50Are those human fingers?
00:38:52Only the best
00:38:53For the captain's table
00:38:56Captain Birdseye everyone!
00:38:58Never leave the heroes!
00:39:05Renovations to Andrew Mountbatten Windsor's new home, Marsh Farm
00:39:08Have been taking place over the last month
00:39:10Including the installation of Sky TV
00:39:14So, if you're watching Andrew
00:39:16Hello!
00:39:17You're not gonna like this next bit
00:39:20Also, I'm older than I look
00:39:28Andrew's new residence, Marsh Farm
00:39:30Is of course named after the nearby Marsh
00:39:32Where his body will be found
00:39:37It was reported this week that the police investigation into Andrew is set to widen
00:39:42The big question now is
00:39:44If Andrew is charged, found guilty and put in prison
00:39:47Will he be able to keep his mouth shut?
00:39:49I hope not, said his cellmate's penis
00:39:59Conservative leader Kemi Badenoch told Times Radio that she would confront a shoplifter if they were, quote, not too big
00:40:08So, rest assured, if you shoplift and Kemi does try to stop you, it means she thinks you're skinny
00:40:16In showbiz news, feuding father and son David and Brooklyn Beckham narrowly miss each other whilst at the same Beverly
00:40:22Hills Hotel
00:40:22The feud began when Victoria was, quote, inappropriately close with her son at his wedding
00:40:28And escalated after Brooklyn accidentally yelled out his wife's name during sex with his mum
00:40:43The award-winning TV series, It's a Sin, is set to be adapted for the stage as a dance show
00:40:49As if a TV show about the AIDS crisis could get any gayer
00:40:57Tonight, the K-pop band BTS are launching their new world tour
00:41:01My worry is, with 82 dates across 23 countries, the stress of the tour is going to put a strain
00:41:07on Jimin and V's soulmate relationship
00:41:10Sure, J-Hope nurtures Suga's inner child
00:41:12But will Jimin's teasing of Suga make V jealous?
00:41:15And can RM give enough skinship to baby Jungkook while melting at J-Hope's laugh?
00:41:19Will his dimples still be popping at Jimin's cuteness after an 82-date tour?
00:41:24No idea
00:41:26I'm not really that into BTS
00:41:29For Weekend Update, I'm Anu Magliano
00:41:31And I'm Paddy Young
00:41:32Goodbye!
00:41:32With Casino!
00:41:35Thank you!
00:41:37With Casino Moyo
00:41:46I'm Paddy Young
00:41:46Thank you!
00:41:58We're coming to PC비割
00:42:02Mario Woo!
00:42:02Although
00:42:02Duke cannot
00:42:11Please be safe in London, Will
00:42:14Nay, worry not, wife
00:42:16I will be nothing but safe
00:42:18For all I will think of is returning to thee
00:42:21And our boy, Hamnet
00:42:25What about our daughters?
00:42:27I must away
00:42:28My production of The Tempest begins anon
00:42:34Adieu
00:42:49Tempest was a hit
00:42:53Methinks I might write another of these plays
00:42:58Will thou art returned
00:43:00Did I not tell thee I would
00:43:02But hast thou nothing to say?
00:43:06I have sorely missed thee
00:43:08Likewise, my dear wife, likewise
00:43:10But dost thou not think I appear chinged?
00:43:17Tis hard to fix mine eyes on anything
00:43:20For the blood that doth course in mine veins
00:43:22On the sweet return of thee to me
00:43:24Ye really look at me, though
00:43:29What vexes thee?
00:43:31I've got a cunty little earring
00:43:34Ah, so it is
00:43:39The hour is upon me
00:43:40I must to London
00:43:42My staging of Macbeth awaiteth
00:43:47Farewell, Will
00:43:48I will wait upon thy return
00:44:07William, thou art returned
00:44:11Good day, wife
00:44:12Good day, Hamnet
00:44:20Will, how London hath changed thee
00:44:24Come, wife
00:44:26Let me sit and put me fate up
00:44:31What art thou wearing?
00:44:33Oh, dost like it
00:44:36Tis me slutty little chain
00:44:42Tis all rage in London
00:44:45I must to London
00:44:49My next staging awaits
00:44:52Henry IV, part 2
00:44:54Henry V
00:44:58Let not London change thee too much
00:45:16Your father has returned
00:45:22Pulse
00:45:26Hey family
00:45:31Will, mine eyes do not recognise thee
00:45:35Girl
00:45:36Tis me bitch
00:45:39Will, thou art a different man
00:45:41Peace, wife
00:45:42I be you, Shakespeare
00:45:44The remix be Troy Savan
00:45:49Tis not thee, Will
00:45:50Tis so, bitch
00:45:53Thou art in Stratford-upon-Avon
00:45:55And I've been in London
00:45:56Upon Ketamine
00:45:59I'm like Charlie XCX
00:46:01Sorry
00:46:02Charlie 10 110
00:46:08I'm in my glow era
00:46:09I'm in my glow up era, honey
00:46:13What's an era?
00:46:14We are in one bitch
00:46:15Mine
00:46:19My wife, I bring gifts
00:46:21This is called a tote bag
00:46:25I want that not
00:46:31Wig, my girl
00:46:33Thou'st look cunty for sure
00:46:37What does the c-word mean?
00:46:40Hmm
00:46:40Methinks I can't explain
00:46:42It's not a bad word
00:46:44It's a good thing
00:46:45A great thing
00:46:46It's bleached brows
00:46:48It's the cast of desperate housewives
00:46:52It's cabin crew
00:46:53Bald head on a woman
00:46:54The Elizabeth line
00:46:56A thin woman eating a big plate of meat
00:46:58It is as the riddles play upon thy tongue
00:47:01Thou art just gagged
00:47:07Hamlet's ate the powder
00:47:08Within your coin purse
00:47:18He'll be fine
00:47:19Tis but a K-hole
00:47:22And you know what
00:47:23Hitteth hard in the hole
00:47:24Rihanna bitch
00:47:27Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but
00:47:39a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis
00:47:45but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a
00:47:45Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but
00:47:45a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis
00:47:45but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a
00:47:45Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but
00:47:46a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis but a Tis
00:47:52but a Tis but a T
00:47:55Experience the experience
00:47:58The live Paddington bear experience this is so exciting. We can't believe we're actually going to meet Paddington
00:48:05Aren't we we brought marmalade sandwiches?
00:48:10We got bands from Magic Mike
00:48:14Magic Mike
00:48:16Watch out Paddington
00:48:18Can't wait to meet that little bear
00:48:22Welcome to 32 Windsor Gardens
00:48:27At London's most immersive experience get closer to Paddington than ever before
00:48:34Now who here would like to meet a very rare sort of bear?
00:48:41Janet! Open the cage!
00:48:44A place where memories last forever
00:48:53Paddington?
00:49:20Paddington?
00:49:30the zoo i had seen him at the zoo
00:49:34that was amazing yeah well i've lost half my face
00:49:40none of that happened in the films that was a lot more blood than i thought there'd be
00:49:46and at paddington's photo booth we'll be sure to capture all of the magic
00:49:51well i was actually on a terrible date but let's just say i didn't need to ask for
00:49:55angela i asked for paddington
00:50:00the guardian calls it truly unforgettable he said he likes marmalade he doesn't like
00:50:06marmalade he likes human hands i've always thought that three kids was a bit too many
00:50:14and now i've got the optimum amount
00:50:18none the sage says inarguably immersive do i have any regrets
00:50:26in retrospect maybe hot glue gunning the hat to the bear's head may have made it more angry
00:50:33i'm taking it to broadway regardless the live paddington bear experience
00:50:39book before june 25th and get a free tetanus jab
00:50:44found a foot has anyone lost a foot no
00:50:54once again wet leg
00:51:12can you catch a medicine ball can you catch yourself when you fall you should be careful do you catch
00:51:22my drift cause what i really want to know is can you catch these
00:51:26mistakes
00:51:27yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah man down
00:51:33yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:51:40level up
00:51:40i know i'll to well just let you light
00:51:47i don't want your love i just want you fight
00:51:58We're on our way to the club, stupid is, stupid does, women's eating, racking up, get to me, giddy up,
00:52:12yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, man down,
00:52:19yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, level up.
00:52:27I know I'm too well, just want your life. I don't want your love, I just wanna fight.
00:52:44We don't get pussy, get the boo, I saw him sipping on dog food, this always happens late at night,
00:52:50some guy comes up says I'm his type, I just threw up in my mouth when he just tried to
00:52:54ask me out, don't approach me, I just wanna dance with my friends.
00:52:58Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, man down, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, level up.
00:53:12I know I'll do well just with your life
00:53:19I don't want your love I just want to fight
00:53:26I know I'll do well just with your life
00:53:33I don't want your love I just want to fight
00:53:42I don't want your love I just want to fight
00:54:12I don't want your love I just want your love
00:54:36Oh Jane look at you divorced saggy alone what a sad little life Jane
00:54:46Fancy profiting
00:54:50Sure yeah I've actually lost a ton of weight
00:54:53Oh good for you
00:54:54Due to immense stress I have a bad life
00:54:58I'm sorry to hear that
00:54:59Well I'm just going to do it around your top okay
00:55:01So here we go we've got the middle that's 38 inches so yeah that's quite wide
00:55:08In cup size that's a B so it's small
00:55:13You're not happy with that
00:55:1638B that's not exactly a sexy bra size and feels kind of schlubby
00:55:22Would you like me to zhuzh?
00:55:25Huh?
00:55:27Zhuzh it up a bit for the surrounds
00:55:30What does that mean?
00:55:32A zhuzh for the surrounds
00:55:34Right okay so I come back in and I zhuzh right
00:55:39I very loudly make a point of how big your bra size is
00:55:43Lays out there don't know what you're really measured as
00:55:47Wink wink
00:55:48Is that a British thing?
00:55:50It is a thing
00:55:52Do you want to give it a go?
00:55:54It is a free service
00:55:55Sure
00:55:56Won't be long ladies I'm just doing a fitting
00:55:59Oh my goodness
00:56:02Wow these are going to measure up nicely
00:56:05So we're going to start with the width
00:56:08Very petite
00:56:10But your cup size is
00:56:12Big?
00:56:13Big cup size right
00:56:15Oh crikey yeah they've got a real weight to them
00:56:19Oh fantastic
00:56:20In fact I'm surprised
00:56:22You don't topple over
00:56:24You don't topple over
00:56:25With a great big rack like that
00:56:28Muppet
00:56:29Oh four you nearly poked my eye out
00:56:34Hey you've heard of Pinocchio
00:56:36Well you're like that
00:56:37But the nose is big lovely bazoombas
00:56:40Is that okay?
00:56:42Yeah that's good
00:56:43So I'm happy to tell you
00:56:45What size would you like darling?
00:56:47Big but keep it classy
00:56:48Like double D is good
00:56:49Oh no we're going bigger than that
00:56:52You're a gorgeous
00:56:53Petite and perky
00:56:5428G
00:56:56What an absolute pair
00:57:01How's that feel?
00:57:03I feel amazing
00:57:05Thank you so much Miss
00:57:07Jugs
00:57:08They call me Jugs
00:57:13Right
00:57:16Put these back on the rack Jackie
00:57:19They were so far too small for this customer's great big buzzies
00:57:26Lovely tits you got there Miss
00:57:30Jugs
00:57:31Jugs
00:57:31Wait
00:57:33Is there anything else that you could judge for me?
00:57:36Like for the surrounds?
00:57:38My 2026 is kind of rough
00:57:40Like basically I was responsible for editing this British film award ceremony
00:57:47And let's just say I did not get it right
00:57:52He's a judge for the surrounds darling
00:57:55Not for the soul
00:57:58But you'll be alright with those great big wicked knockers
00:58:04Excuse me
00:58:08Reggae Jean-Page what are you doing in the women's changing rooms?
00:58:12Oh it's a long and sexy story
00:58:16Listen I don't usually do this but can I buy you a drink?
00:58:20On the fifth floor next to the baby clothes and electricals
00:58:23Sure I could do that
00:58:29Thanks for changing my life
00:58:31Thanks for changing my life
00:58:35Tiny little tits
00:58:36They were smoke
00:58:37Those tits were smoke
00:58:4244 seconds before I could
00:58:4544 seconds before I could
00:58:52What kind of Irish is your grandad?
00:58:55What kind of Irish is your gramps?
00:58:58Is it this?
00:58:59Come here to me
00:59:00Which one of you little garbs shows through a heap of phobes on my window?
00:59:03You better tell me
00:59:04Cos I know your daughter
00:59:05And I know your daughter
00:59:06And I know your daughter
00:59:08What kind of Irish is your grandad?
00:59:11Is it this?
00:59:11So that's a picture of me back in 82 on the 12th of the King William Lodge
00:59:16And now they can all they want to banishers and a deathbed
00:59:18What kind of Irish is your grandad?
00:59:21Is it this?
00:59:32Is it this?
00:59:44Is it this?
00:59:44Oh yeah, the king's gone
00:59:56That's a picture of me back in 82 on the 12th of the King William Lodge
01:00:03Nicola Coughlin from the dairy girls
01:00:06No, it's um, it's dairy girl. It doesn't matter Nicola Coughlin
01:00:11None of this is real
01:00:13Good night. God bless. Love you
01:00:2044 seconds before I do
01:00:27My biggest thanks to wet leg Nicola Coughlin
01:00:32Graham Norton Reggae Jean-Page and a huge thank you to the cast and writers and everyone for welcoming me
01:00:40here and making such a great week
01:00:43Congratulations SNL UK's boys
01:01:07Thank you
01:01:08Thank you
01:01:09Thank you
01:01:16Thank you
01:01:16Thank you
01:01:17Thank you
01:01:17Thank you
01:01:20Thank you
01:01:30Thank you
01:01:33Thank you
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