- 2 days ago
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00:28Oh
00:30Don't
00:50I'm in between lip wipes you animal!
00:54I told you I need to sit in the front
00:58and I need to see the horizon
01:00Oh wait, I'm sorry about that
01:02Who are you working for?
01:04I'm not working with anyone
01:06No one
01:11What were you planning with Steve?
01:13Nothing! I thought the guy was one of us
01:16How did you acquire the classified document?
01:18She put in my bag without telling me
01:20What about the money?
01:21I didn't know he was gonna send me 10 grand
01:2415
01:26Yeah, that's what I meant
01:28I'm afraid we're going to have to turn on the sound for another 10 minutes
01:32No, please
01:33Bloody awful racket
01:40What is this?
01:43Is this little one?
01:46No!
01:54Well, this is good news
01:56Your stories tally up
01:58We're satisfied beyond reasonable doubt that you are not, in fact, double agents
02:03So, I'll be ticking ineptitude on my fork
02:06So we're not going to prison?
02:07No
02:09But in case it wasn't obvious, you're both dismissed
02:12Effective immediately
02:13Mum?
02:14Look
02:15I know, we messed up
02:17We've already gathered some really useful intel on this guy
02:21Steve, for one
02:22And we don't think that's his real name
02:24Yeah, for another, he doesn't drink orange squash
02:26Also some other stuff you should know that is better than that
02:29You know what, I think we're good
02:30We've got this
02:31We could pull information
02:32You know, work out who this guy is
02:34We know who he is
02:37Steve's real name is Jared O'Hara
02:39He's an Oxford graduate who fucked up, got into drugs
02:42He's done six months for card fraud and isn't allowed a mortgage
02:46Three days ago, we got intel from an asset inside a far-right group
02:50Someone tried to sell them the security plans for the Notting Hill Carnival for a ludicrous price
02:54One of our agents then found said plans in a bin outside the pub
02:59Wait, wait, this pub, was it the rope and anchor?
03:03That's the one
03:03They're satisfied he's not a serious threat
03:06The police will take it from here
03:08No, I'm sorry, this just doesn't make any sense
03:11You didn't see this guy, he was a real slick operator
03:15He's planning something
03:17We're satisfied he's not a serious threat
03:21Oh my God
03:22He set this up as a double bluff
03:25He knew this would get back to you
03:26That was probably a fake ID
03:28He's trying to make it seem like he's not serious
03:31But I'm telling you, he is
03:33What could it be, Dominique, that you're not?
03:35I mean, come on
03:37This is the oldest play in the book
03:39And you fell for it
03:41This is the same kind of shit cold call was tried on my 86 year old mother
03:45And even she knew something fishy was going on
03:48Keeping this country safe requires the brightest minds Dominique
03:53We might have the odd job for those who fall short of that
03:57In the archives, for example
03:58But for you
04:00You may find other work more suitable
04:05We're done here
04:06Mum?
04:07No, no, do we have to do that?
04:08Mum?
04:08Can I get a nausea band?
04:10Or at least crack open a window?
04:23No
04:24I guess
04:25All's well that ends well
04:30I'm sorry
04:31Excuse me?
04:33As in we're not in serious trouble
04:35You just cost me my job
04:39Oh
04:41I cost you your job?
04:43Yeah
04:43By stabbing me in the back
04:45Excuse me
04:47You were the one who put the file in my bag
04:50And even then
04:51I stood by you
04:52I helped you
04:53Until
04:54You stabbed me
04:56In the back
04:57Why did you do it Kay?
05:00Steve would have walked through that door any minute
05:02Yeah well the police will take care of him now
05:04They're never going to find him
05:06He's not going to go back to that flat now is he?
05:09Not after you invited half of MI5 round for breakfast
05:12Well what does it matter now anyway?
05:13What?
05:14Fisher says he's not even a serious threat
05:15He is a serious threat
05:17Oh and the MI5 are wrong about that are they?
05:19Yes
05:19And your evidence for that is?
05:23My instincts
05:24Oh your instincts
05:26Your instincts that led you to give the final way in the first place
05:29Dom
05:30Listen to yourself
05:31This is what this whole thing has been about
05:33Your ego
05:34You just can't accept when you're wrong
05:43Look I'm sorry you messed up
05:46But you did
05:48Everyone has an off day
05:52He played on your vulnerabilities
05:54You wanted a better job
05:56When I saw him
05:58He's a good looking guy
05:59You know what Kay
06:01Fuck you
06:02Yeah well
06:04Forget you Dom
06:06We're just going to walk all the way back to London
06:08The app says that the bus is going to be here in
06:13An hour and 43 minutes
06:18And this man
06:20Honestly
06:22I don't know how he managed to organise all of this
06:25And he can't even organise his own sock drawer
06:29No but seriously I am so overwhelmed
06:33I
06:35Morris
06:37You're not just my best friend
06:40I'm going to get emotional
06:43You're my soul mate
06:45Thank you darling
06:47And thank you if
06:49Fuck
06:49Oh fuck
06:50Bullock
06:51So
06:52Broke
06:53Oh
06:55Sorry
06:55Hello
06:56Um
06:58Sorry
06:58Sorry
06:59I'll pay for that
07:02Sorry
07:03Oh hello Aunty Maureen
07:06You look nice
07:07You've done something with your
07:09You had time
07:14To Julie
07:15To Julie
07:16To Julie
07:17To Julie
07:20Where have you been?
07:21Dad's been introducing me to everyone
07:23What happened to you?
07:25Don't want to talk about it
07:28Oh Dom
07:29Yeah
07:30Oh thank you for coming
07:31I live here
07:31Yeah
07:33Oh and you bought me a
07:34Yeah
07:34They're a little bit flattered
07:36But you know it's a thought that counts
07:37Yeah
07:38I also got you a centre candle
07:41It's somewhere
07:42Oh darling
07:42Thank you
07:43It's so sweet
07:45My word
07:46What a way you come to a party
07:48You never hear the dress code
07:50I didn't know there was a dress code Aunty Maureen
07:53It was on a family group chat
07:54I'm not even on a family group chat
07:56Well that's your problem
07:57How come you're on a family group chat
07:58And why
07:59Are you so tardy?
08:01I got
08:03A little tied up
08:04No it's fine
08:05I mean Dom gets held up at work sometimes
08:08Mmm
08:09My baby works for the Food Standards Agency now
08:12Thank you
08:12Government job
08:13People's lives are in her hands
08:17And it's office based
08:20Queer
08:21Dom finally hold down a job
08:24And a man
08:26And people say God isn't real
08:30And we are so proud of her
08:35Dad
08:36I don't work there anymore
08:38I knew it
08:40That child can't cook
08:41Her mother was a beautiful cook
08:45This one
08:46We only let her bring ice
08:47Even cousin Darren's allowed to choose the Crips
08:50And he used to be on crack
08:54Evening
08:55Hi Darren
08:57And how are you?
09:00Fantastic
09:00Regional top salesman
09:02Three months in a row
09:03Even Darren's turned his life around
09:06What do you mean you don't work anymore?
09:08What do you mean you've changed your apartment?
09:09No I mean I was fired
09:10Okay Dad
09:11I was fired
09:12I was let go of
09:13I am jobless
09:14So?
09:15The job isn't real
09:18The boyfriend fake too?
09:20Probably
09:21He's a global ten
09:22Dom's what?
09:24A Hackney five?
09:26Yo
09:28Does this look fake?
09:34You can excuse us
09:36We're going to the buffet
09:38Come back
09:42Uncle Morris
09:44Did you know
09:45Triple blazing can save you hundreds a year on energy bills?
09:49Go
09:49Shout out man
09:51I've got you
10:00You know I don't need your pity right?
10:02No
10:02Look your family would just be in a little bit
10:05Listen man
10:06If circumstances were different
10:07Man definitely would
10:09You know what I mean?
10:11Well that's nasty
10:12And man definitely would be denied
10:15But thank you
10:19You know I can't get your record right now right?
10:21Yeah I clocked that
10:22I'm tapped
10:25You know
10:25Whatever I did
10:27Bright Marsh
10:28All of that shit
10:30I did it all for Jayden
10:31Tried to give her the starting life that I didn't have
10:34Every penny I earned
10:35I put into an account in her name
10:39Every penny you earned?
10:41Erm
10:41What about the G-Wagon?
10:42I can't be trapping in the Ford Focus
10:44I don't know
10:45So what are you gonna do now?
10:47Dunno
10:48Maybe I'll hand myself in
10:50Well I mean at least your daughter would know where you were you know?
10:53Cause you'd be in prison
10:54Yes
10:54Yes I understood that
10:57Whatever way this goes
10:58I know I'll never be able to see her again
11:00Her mum will make sure of that
11:02Look you could
11:05Stay a bit longer if you wanted to
11:06Until
11:08Mans is less tapped
11:09Yes yes yes
11:10Yes in at the back view
11:11Yes
11:12I really don't want to go back and hang out with Auntie Maury
11:16Oh no definitely
11:17I'm staying here until she goes home to watch Casualy
11:21Galliloo?
11:22Galliloo
11:31Well, it's just over a week to the Notting Hill Carnival.
11:34Sequins are being stitched, feathers plopped, chicken jerked.
11:37And we caught up with six pupils of St Christopher's in Streatham,
11:40who this year are planning a float with a difference.
11:44Dom, get up.
11:46See you at midday.
11:48Oh, God!
11:49Fuck!
11:51Why do you hate me?
11:53I'm your daughter!
11:56That's one hot chocolate and one hot chocolate come in oat milk.
11:59There you go.
12:00Partner.
12:01Banking you, sir.
12:03What we did in this shift, Yaz?
12:05Well, it's not very exciting,
12:07but we're going to supervise some young people
12:09doing a feature on a wall where they've got express permission.
12:12That sounds lovely.
12:14It does, doesn't it?
12:15Also, I've baked some sugar-free macaroons that we can all share.
12:18Oh, brilliant. That'll bring everyone together.
12:21How about this?
12:23Online picker for a major supermarket.
12:26It's a £10 night-time premium.
12:28No!
12:29Oh, do we need to talk again about the PGCE?
12:33Got to apply for something, Dom.
12:35Worst thing you have in life is a gap in your CV.
12:38Oh, man, I love a briefing.
12:50Kay!
12:53Sorry, can I just...
12:55Yes!
12:56You're out.
12:56I didn't believe you were doing the shift today.
12:58Yeah, I love carnival.
12:59Volunteer for it every year.
13:01Me too.
13:01No.
13:02Yeah, I mean, tomorrow I'm actually playing with a film.
13:04Stop it.
13:05Yeah.
13:05Yeah, I mean, it's still bad.
13:07Oh, my gosh.
13:07I know, I know, it's not a big deal.
13:09That's amazing.
13:10I'm going to get your attention, please.
13:13Olé.
13:14Olé.
13:15Olé.
13:17Olé.
13:17How are we feeling?
13:19Yeah.
13:20Today is the first day of carnival.
13:22There is only one acceptable answer to that question.
13:24That is hot, hot, hot.
13:25So, I'll ask again, how are we feeling?
13:28Hot, hot, hot.
13:30That's more like it.
13:32First of all, a big thank you for volunteering.
13:37The shift is a lot of fun.
13:38We have a laugh.
13:40But, make no mistake, this is the most challenging crowd control exercise, this side of the Hajj.
13:52Now, there will be two million revelers descending on these streets this weekend.
13:58So, this needs to work like clockwork.
14:00Military grade clockwork.
14:03I'm talking the kind of clock you would find, presumably, on the dashboard of a tank.
14:10Now, under your seats, you'll find a number of items.
14:13Don't look now.
14:14I didn't say look now.
14:15Eyes on me, please.
14:17It's chaos in here.
14:19Here, first of all, you will find a high-vis vest.
14:24Put it on.
14:25Not tied around your waist.
14:27Not slung over your shoulder.
14:29But on.
14:30Second layer.
14:31Quickly, Mel.
14:32A goodie bag.
14:34A few little treats in there for you.
14:36Bottle of smart water.
14:38Sunblock.
14:39And, my personal favourite, good old jar, reggae, reggae sauce.
14:45Goes with anything.
14:45Just a little thank you for your efforts from the local residents' association.
14:55Last, but most certainly not least, you will find, Mel, one of these.
15:00A radio.
15:02Channel one.
15:03Open at all times.
15:05As far as you're concerned, this is the voice of God.
15:10Yes, what?
15:11Um, we already have radios.
15:13There's always one, isn't there, Mel?
15:15Yeah, we know you already have radios.
15:18But everyone on crowd control is on one of these.
15:21Top brass want to keep the police channels open in case of an emergency.
15:25Yes, Kay, what?
15:26No, it's just, we didn't do this last year.
15:29It's called progress, mate.
15:31We're not allowed to punch people in the kidneys anymore either, are we?
15:33Rightly or wrong there.
15:37It's right there.
15:39It's a joke.
15:42Get with him, Mel.
15:45Now, just because you're going to be working today, don't mean you have to stand still.
15:49The press love it when those guys dance with the revelers.
15:53So, it's fallen on me to show you the correct way to whine.
15:59Yeah.
16:00You know what I'm talking about?
16:01Come on, carnivalistas, on your feet.
16:02Let's get whining.
16:04Move those hips.
16:05Use your core.
16:06Use your core.
16:07Watch your back.
16:07You'll do yourself a mischief.
16:09Bring it right down.
16:10Right down to the floor.
16:11How low can you go there?
16:12Come get in my eye now.
16:13Look at that.
16:14Look at the key.
16:15Where you going, mate?
16:15I need you.
16:16I need you.
16:18Come on, get them bumpers nice and low.
16:20Mmm.
16:41Happy morning, guys.
16:42Stay hydrated.
16:43Oh, that's water.
16:47It's day one of carnival.
16:49You can see the streets there beginning to fill up nicely.
16:53Over the next two days.
16:54Putting on a mixed wash if you've got anything.
16:57You know you can drop the whole perfect house guest bit now, right?
17:00I know.
17:01So, just do what I do.
17:02Put it in a basket and leave it until Julie cracks and does it as well.
17:05I'm packing up.
17:07I'm leaving tomorrow.
17:11Where are you going to go?
17:13Going to head for Felix, though.
17:15Get myself in between the containers.
17:17See if I can get myself on a ship.
17:19Oh, that sounds insane.
17:26That's like a black stowaway.
17:30You have not thought this through, bro.
17:36There's a favour I need before I go.
17:40I need you to take these somewhere for me.
17:43Istanbul Social Club on Green Lanes.
17:46Ask for Erkan.
17:47Give these to him.
17:48And they'll give you an envelope.
17:50What in the nerdyverse, comic-con, loser, virgin, incel nonsense is this?
17:57Some getaway fun?
17:59Some old toys?
18:00You feds really don't know Nish, do you?
18:03Know what?
18:04This shit's worth bare P's.
18:0580s, 90s collectibles, box, mink condition.
18:08This is the real road man's economy now.
18:11It's where all the real Gs are putting their cash.
18:13No one's looking into this, like, crypto.
18:15If you're from East, you're into N64 games.
18:18All them Westerns are into Beanie Babies.
18:21They're pogs.
18:23These were massive in the 90s.
18:26What about pogs?
18:28That's the gold standard, boy.
18:30What if someone had a sports bag full of package, mint-conditioned pogs?
18:35That's one hell of a getaway fun.
18:38Oh, my God.
18:42So he tells me he smokes for religious reasons, and I said, mate, you're a 17-year-old ginger lad
18:47from Epsom.
18:49Oh.
18:50Trying to fool me.
18:50I know, I know.
18:52Yes, do you mind if you take a quick detour on the way, hon?
18:55Uh, yeah.
18:57What were you thinking?
19:03What is this place?
19:04Um, wait here.
19:06I just gotta go and speak to someone.
19:08Who?
19:09Just someone.
19:13And, uh, whatever you do, don't come in after me.
19:20Swords be played.
19:32Afternoon.
19:33Don't you think you've been here on a Sunday?
19:34You're lucky.
19:36If you'd been here half an hour earlier, I'd still have been pillaging.
19:39I should warn you, though, I can't give you any kit.
19:42Because it's a Sunday.
19:47Because you've been fired.
19:48Oh, well, um, how'd you know about that?
19:51Well, for one, you gave the old password, and for another, you just admitted it.
19:56Yes, very good.
19:58You should work for M.I.5.
20:01Look, I just wanted to ask you an opinion about something.
20:03You know how I could probably lose my job just for continuing this conversation?
20:08So don't tell anyone?
20:10What is it?
20:13Oof.
20:14Yeah, that's a blast from the past.
20:17Yeah.
20:18Tower Goto 639.
20:20Hmm?
20:21Used by police up until, ooh, 2004.
20:26Cheap, decent battery life.
20:28But security-wise, not much better than Fisher-Prize.
20:32Well, how'd you meet?
20:33Oh, notoriously easy to scramble.
20:36Only one with a decent transmitter and a GCSE in physics can block the signal on one of these things
20:41and render them useless.
20:49A lot of money.
20:56Hi.
21:08Yeah, hello.
21:09Ew.
21:11Um, who is this?
21:13Yaz.
21:13Well, it's Yasmin, actually, but everyone just calls me Yaz.
21:17Right.
21:18And you are?
21:20Oh, sorry.
21:21Yeah, um, I'm Kay's partner.
21:24Kay's partner.
21:25Fuck.
21:26Okay, is he there?
21:28He's actually kind of busy right now.
21:29He can't come to the phone.
21:31Martha.
21:33Did you want to leave a message?
21:34No.
21:35No, I don't, because, you know, this was a pocket dial.
21:39If it's a pocket dial, then how are we talking?
21:42Because I'm wearing a Bluetooth headset, all right?
21:50Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, I need to make a call, I need to make a call, oh, yes, oh,
21:55wait, before I make this call, there's something I need to tell you guys.
21:59What is it?
22:01Until quite recently, I used to work for the security services, MI5.
22:06Like James Bond?
22:08Yes, only Christian, monogamous, with a license to praise.
22:13I need you to keep whatever you hear now absolutely secret, for your safety and the country's.
22:19Do you understand?
22:19Yes.
22:20Yes, do you understand?
22:21Yes, yes, yes.
22:26Hey, I'll answer this.
22:27What?
22:27I'll answer it and say, I'm busy and I can't come to the phone right now.
22:30Why, who is it?
22:31Just do it, quick.
22:32Wait, wait, wait, wait.
22:33Just do an accent.
22:34What?
22:35Just like, like, give it some Spanish.
22:36No, no, no, no, no.
22:37Italian.
22:41Ciao.
22:43Hi, is Dom there?
22:45Dom can't come to the phone right now.
22:47Italian.
22:48Oh, okay, well, keep us on the message.
22:53Arrivederci, tutti frutti, allora.
23:01So, you know what I told you before?
23:03That MI5 stuff, just forget I said that.
23:06Huh?
23:07Just forget I said that.
23:08It was just, you know, me, MI5.
23:11What a joke.
23:18Dom?
23:19Dom?
23:20Dom, it's me.
23:21We really need to talk.
23:24Loris, come look at this.
23:26There's another one.
23:28Honestly, it's true what they say.
23:30You wait for one bus to come along.
23:33LAUGHTER
23:37You're going to answer that?
23:38No.
23:39And don't you answer it either.
23:47You're making a call of yourself.
23:51What do you want?
23:52You called me.
23:53No, I didn't.
23:54Well, Yaz said you did.
23:55Well, I told Yaz it was a pocket dial.
23:57So you did call.
24:00Shit.
24:02Well, why did you call me?
24:06Well, maybe I just called you back.
24:08Okay.
24:08Well, you've done that.
24:09Bye.
24:10Well, maybe I have something to tell you.
24:11What?
24:13Well, you won't know if you don't answer my calls.
24:16Did you call to apologise for being a big fat Judas?
24:19No.
24:19Well, then I'm not interested.
24:21Oh, I think you will be interested.
24:22Oh, I think I'm not interested.
24:23Bye.
24:24Get off my drive.
24:28Because I was calling to tell you,
24:30you were right about Steve.
24:38Yes, I was right about Steve.
24:40Obviously.
24:45So Dave said these radios are notoriously easy to scramble.
24:48Haven't been in service for years.
24:50And there was a guy at the briefing.
24:52Now, I can't be sure,
24:54but I think it was the guy that we saw meeting Steve.
24:57What was he doing at the briefing?
24:58They said he was from a local residence association.
25:00Yeah, bullshit.
25:01He's another one of Steve's day players.
25:03Okay.
25:04So Steve wants to scramble the radios,
25:06probably to stop the police from responding to a terror attack.
25:09What do we do?
25:09We need to get this information to Fisher.
25:11Wait, fast.
25:12How?
25:12We lost our jobs.
25:14You've called MI5,
25:15your national security service.
25:17For careers, press one.
25:18To report a security concern,
25:19press two, press two.
25:20You may find it quicker and easier
25:22to report your concern on our website.
25:24Oh, God, come on!
25:25Hello, you're through to MI5.
25:26All calls may be recorded.
25:27Hi, yes.
25:28I need to speak to Joanna Fisher,
25:30Deputy Director of Intelligence.
25:32This is urgent.
25:33We think that something's going to happen
25:34at Notting Hill Carnival tomorrow.
25:36Right, well, we can't put people through
25:37to specific members of the...
25:38No, no, no, you don't understand.
25:39I'm an agent.
25:41I'm a former agent.
25:43Do you have an active agent number?
25:45No, but...
25:46Then I'll have to put this down
25:47as a public tip-off.
25:48Okay, listen, I just think...
25:49We've had quite a few of those
25:50about Carnival.
25:51It's the full moon, I swear.
25:52It brings them all out.
25:53Yeah, fine.
25:54Okay, thanks.
25:54Bye.
25:56All right.
25:57Fisher's going to be in the office
25:58tomorrow morning.
25:58It's bank holiday Monday.
26:00Time and a half.
26:00I will go there in person
26:01and make them listen.
26:03What am I going to do?
26:04I was supposed to be
26:05on the float tomorrow.
26:06I threw the count-ins.
26:07Cordell does them too fast.
26:09It falls apart
26:10before we get to the course
26:11of red, red wine.
26:11Okay, just go.
26:13All right?
26:14I will pass on
26:15what we know to Fisher
26:16and she'll take care of the rest.
26:18I mean, it's like you said,
26:18it's MI5, right?
26:19This is just another day
26:20in the office for them.
26:21Whatever Steve's planning,
26:22they will stop it.
26:38Stop right there.
26:39Okay, Mo,
26:40I have vital information
26:41that I need to pass on to Fisher.
26:42It's urgent.
26:43What is it?
26:44I'll pass it on.
26:45Yeah, no offense, mate,
26:46but you're not cleared for this.
26:47Says a lady who handed over
26:48state secrets.
26:49How did you know about that?
26:51Brenda told me.
26:53God damn it, Brenda.
26:55Okay, Mo,
26:56this is a matter
26:57of national security,
26:58all right?
26:59Please.
27:05Got Dominique Archibald
27:06wants to speak to Fisher.
27:08Says the surgeon.
27:11Repeats.
27:14You've got 30 seconds.
27:16This better be good.
27:17This is big,
27:18potentially really big,
27:19right?
27:20So we discovered
27:21that the ring...
27:27Well?
27:30What is it?
27:32What is it?
27:35What is it?
27:43Well,
28:03we have been there,
28:04and we're going.
28:05Well,
28:05we're going to recognize
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