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00:00:09You said that I don't think I could do
00:00:12If you knew that I would have started
00:00:14me
00:00:15tell me you play and I play it
00:00:19Let's not leave it for the next time
00:00:22When the fight goes
00:00:25And the night comes
00:00:27Oh, hey, I want to know if you want the same as me.
00:00:32Tell me where we are after the beach.
00:00:36If I don't know where we are, I bring the towel
00:00:38and we don't move again.
00:00:41But in my bed, I'm going to give you a selfie.
00:00:45Tell me where we are.
00:00:52Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my son,
00:00:56Marcelo Hernandez.
00:01:27Miami!
00:01:35Feels like a family party in this place right now.
00:01:38That's how our family parties were, dog.
00:01:40You have to dance.
00:01:41You have to dance or you have to find a new family.
00:01:44That's the rule.
00:01:45I had to dance.
00:01:47Ever since I was a kid, I had to dance.
00:01:48That's how I had to enter my house.
00:01:50If people came to my house, my mom would be like, Marcelo!
00:01:53And I'm six years old and I have to leave my room like this.
00:01:59And I'm like, Mommy, I don't want to dance.
00:02:02And my mom is like, yeah, and I didn't want to escape Cuba.
00:02:05So dance.
00:02:07Okay, I'm sorry.
00:02:08I don't know what that's like.
00:02:09I'm sorry.
00:02:10And I would think that I'm doing a good job.
00:02:13And then out of nowhere, my mom would be like, no, Marcelo.
00:02:15Not like that.
00:02:16Do what I taught you.
00:02:17And I'm like, Mommy, please.
00:02:21Don't make me get nasty in front of my family.
00:02:27And I had to memorize every single dance.
00:02:29I was always jealous of the American kids.
00:02:32Because American kids don't have to memorize any dance.
00:02:35American kids on Christmas, New Year's, Thanksgiving, they get to rest.
00:02:40They don't have to memorize anything at all.
00:02:43American kids live a very free life.
00:02:45American kids go, oh, my God, I love that song.
00:02:48And then they jump.
00:02:56And their mom is like, look, Tyler's dancing.
00:03:01I'm like, Tyler's not doing anything, dude.
00:03:04I had to shake my ass specifically.
00:03:08And that's how I grew up.
00:03:09You show up at your family party and you dance.
00:03:11And then your mom says the most beautiful words that you can hear.
00:03:14What's the most beautiful part about being at a family party?
00:03:17It's hanging out with your cousins, right?
00:03:19Isn't that the most beautiful part?
00:03:21Oh, my God.
00:03:23Something about being with your cousins.
00:03:25It makes you just...
00:03:29You lose your mind.
00:03:31You end up in a part of your house that you have never been to before.
00:03:35You and your cousins end up in the AC unit of your house.
00:03:40And you're in there and it's weird in there.
00:03:43And one of your cousins is like, I have hair, bro.
00:03:45I swear to God.
00:03:46I have hair.
00:03:47I don't know where it came from.
00:03:48I have hair.
00:03:49Your other cousin, he's weird.
00:03:51And he's like, bro, eat the cockroach, bro.
00:03:53Please.
00:03:55I'm like, what?
00:03:56He's like, eat it.
00:03:56Just eat it right now.
00:03:57Nothing's gonna happen to you.
00:03:58Just eat it.
00:03:58I've done it before.
00:03:59Just eat the cockroach.
00:04:00Just hurry up.
00:04:02The parents are getting drunk.
00:04:03And the kids are kind of lit too.
00:04:05Because we have been drinking Coca-Cola unsupervised.
00:04:09We're drinking it out of the bottle tonight, okay?
00:04:11And your cousin's mouth is brown.
00:04:14And he's lit up.
00:04:15And you guys are in there going crazy.
00:04:17And then out of nowhere, one of your uncles comes into the AC unit and he goes,
00:04:20Hey, Marcelo.
00:04:21Just a little bit of whiskey.
00:04:22Nothing's gonna happen to you.
00:04:23A little bit of whiskey.
00:04:27Come on.
00:04:27A little bit of whiskey.
00:04:28Nothing's gonna happen to you.
00:04:29A little bit of whiskey.
00:04:29Come on.
00:04:30Eat the cockroach and then drink the whiskey.
00:04:32A little bit of the whiskey.
00:04:32Come on.
00:04:36And then somehow it's 2 in the morning for some reason.
00:04:39It's 2 a.m.
00:04:41And at 2 a.m.
00:04:42That's when the parents realize, damn.
00:04:44I have not seen my kid in 9 hours.
00:04:48And they want the kid back to the dam.
00:04:51Back to the dance floor!
00:04:53And now it's 2 in the morning.
00:04:55And I'm still 6 years old.
00:04:56But now I want to dance.
00:04:58You understand?
00:05:00Because I've been drinking whiskey, dawg, okay?
00:05:04I want to dance.
00:05:05What are American kids doing at 2 in the morning?
00:05:08By the way, it's Christmas, okay?
00:05:10Where is Santa Claus?
00:05:12Nobody cares, dawg.
00:05:15Santa Claus is gonna come when the party is over.
00:05:192 in the morning on Christmas.
00:05:21What are American kids doing at 2 in the morning on Christmas?
00:05:24Watching Elf?
00:05:25You nerds.
00:05:27I am grinding with my aunt.
00:05:30You understand?
00:05:43And she is throwing it back violently, dawg.
00:05:46Violent.
00:05:48And I'm like, Mommy, why?
00:05:51And she's like, because your aunt is going through a divorce right now.
00:06:00And that is not being inappropriate.
00:06:03That is supporting your family.
00:06:13And that's what I did.
00:06:15I did whatever my mom told me to do.
00:06:16If she tells me to grant on my aunt, I grant on my aunt.
00:06:18My mom has been through so much that whatever she tells me to do,
00:06:21that's what I'm gonna do.
00:06:22For example, I have severe ADD.
00:06:25Everybody told me I have ADD.
00:06:27And I told my mom I have ADD.
00:06:28And she said no, so I don't have ADD.
00:06:35I don't have it.
00:06:36And I feel bad.
00:06:37I feel bad that I don't have it because I wanted it.
00:06:40And everybody...
00:06:41And it's easy to get, by the way.
00:06:43If you want ADD, you can have it.
00:06:45You go to a doctor and you go, nah.
00:06:47And then they give it to you.
00:06:51It takes two seconds.
00:06:55Everybody knew that I had ADD.
00:06:57I had teachers in Miami that didn't believe in ADD.
00:07:01And they were like, Marcelo made me a believer.
00:07:06I have it like that.
00:07:07I have it for real.
00:07:08Everybody knew I had it.
00:07:09And the problem is, I had to tell my mom that I have ADD.
00:07:13And when I told my mom that I have ADD, she threatened to give it to me.
00:07:19I said, mommy, I have ADD.
00:07:21And she goes, ah, you want ADD?
00:07:23I can give you ADD right now.
00:07:28And in that moment, I decided to focus.
00:07:43And it's sad because I wanted the pills.
00:07:47I really wanted the pills.
00:07:48Because I know that the pills do something.
00:07:50I know that they do something.
00:07:52Because I had a friend in high school.
00:07:54And his mom let him have ADD.
00:07:59And he would come up to me on Tuesdays.
00:08:01And he would be like, hey, Marcelo, I didn't take the pill today.
00:08:04It's no pill Tuesday.
00:08:11And I was like, wow, is that how I'm living my life?
00:08:15Every day is no pill Tuesday for me?
00:08:19It was horrible.
00:08:21And that's what my life was.
00:08:22Because when I was younger, my ADD was a big problem in school.
00:08:25You know?
00:08:26And now that I'm older, my problem with ADD is in relationships.
00:08:29You know?
00:08:30With women.
00:08:32Because I have severe ADD.
00:08:34And I never got the pills.
00:08:35And women...
00:08:40They...
00:08:41They love it when you listen to them.
00:08:50It's their favorite thing.
00:08:52And it's my biggest weakness.
00:08:56Women are nice.
00:08:57Women do not need you to be seven feet and have abs.
00:09:00All women want is for you to listen to her, and be there for her, and memorize the names of
00:09:06her friends.
00:09:06That's all they want.
00:09:09You have to know the names of the friends.
00:09:11And you have to be ahead of her sometimes.
00:09:14You know?
00:09:14And women...
00:09:15That's a beautiful thing because that means that women are not superficial.
00:09:18You know?
00:09:19It means that they're looking for someone that's a partner.
00:09:21They're not exactly looking for a physical thing.
00:09:23Men are more superficial.
00:09:25I have friends that are very superficial.
00:09:27I have friends that I show them a picture of a girl that I like, and they'll be like,
00:09:30no, bro.
00:09:32Nah, you have to break up with her, dog.
00:09:34And I'm like, why?
00:09:36And they're like, because, dog.
00:09:38Her forehead is crazy.
00:09:42I'm like, what?
00:09:42What are you talking about?
00:09:43She's nice, and she's smart.
00:09:44She's a good person.
00:09:45And my boys are like, no, we could tell that she was smart, dog.
00:09:48That's not the...
00:09:50That's not the problem, dog.
00:09:53This guy is going on and on about her forehead.
00:09:55And I'm like, dude, you're bald.
00:09:57Like, how...
00:09:59How could you say that when your forehead doesn't end?
00:10:03But that's how men are.
00:10:04Men are like that.
00:10:05Women are not like that.
00:10:07Women can bring anything to their friends.
00:10:09A woman can bring a frog, a real frog, to her friends.
00:10:13And be like, hey guys, this is my boyfriend.
00:10:17And I love him, and he loves me, and we hang out by the swamp.
00:10:23And we get along great, and we love each other.
00:10:25And her friends, her friends will be like, okay.
00:10:29In that case...
00:10:32Ribbit.
00:10:39They don't care.
00:10:40The women are down, and I think that's beautiful.
00:10:42You know, because it is rare, it is more rare to see like a man,
00:10:46like a good-looking man, with a woman that is not at his level of attractiveness.
00:10:50You know?
00:10:51But, quite often, you will see a beautiful woman.
00:10:57And she's nice, and she's hardworking, and she loves her family, and she's perfect.
00:11:03And then you see her husband.
00:11:07And you're like, hey, congratulations.
00:11:10And he's like, ribbit.
00:11:18Every time I see this couple, I go, oh my God.
00:11:23That guy probably listens like crazy, dog.
00:11:41That guy probably says stuff like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:11:44Start again.
00:11:47My boy's like, no, bro, I bet you that guy's rich.
00:11:50I'm like, no, dog.
00:11:52That guy probably has follow-up questions.
00:12:07And that's the problem, you know?
00:12:09I don't listen good, so I'm scared.
00:12:11I'm scared.
00:12:12And on top of that, women are scary to me in general.
00:12:15In general, because I grew up with women in my house.
00:12:18I grew up with only women in my house.
00:12:19It was me, my mom, and my sister.
00:12:21And in high school, my mom's best friend and her daughter moved into my house.
00:12:24I have seen too much.
00:12:27When I was little, I would go to school, and a little boy would be like, hey,
00:12:30you know that girls don't poop?
00:12:32And I would be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:12:38I know very well how they poop.
00:12:40And I think it's worse than ours.
00:12:45No, man.
00:12:46I saw it all.
00:12:47Women are very scary.
00:12:48They are.
00:12:49And they live a violent life behind the scenes.
00:12:51I have seen what you hide, okay?
00:12:54Every woman has a mustache.
00:12:55Did you know that?
00:12:59They all have a mustache.
00:13:00And they get it taken care of in the most violent way possible.
00:13:04Everything they do is violent.
00:13:06They go to a salon, and they go, I have a mustache.
00:13:09And the lady goes, ah, how would you like me to take care of that?
00:13:12And the woman goes, oh, I would like it if you could maybe rip it off my face.
00:13:23And they pay a little woman with big forearms to go up to her face and go, yeah.
00:13:33Everything that they do is violent.
00:13:35And I'm scared of women for that reason.
00:13:37I'm scared that everything that they do is violent.
00:13:40Everything.
00:13:40They go, they do their hair.
00:13:41The hair is violent.
00:13:43They get their eyebrows yanked out one at a time.
00:13:48Ripped out.
00:13:49And they like it.
00:13:50They go, thank you.
00:13:51Like that.
00:13:53Everything they do is violent.
00:13:54Their hair, they go to a salon, and they light their hair on fire.
00:13:57And they put chemicals in their hair.
00:14:00And all types of stuff.
00:14:02They put their hair in aluminum foil.
00:14:05Like their hair is food now.
00:14:07And then they go, now put your head in the microwave.
00:14:11And then the woman sits in the microwave and lets her head get cooked in the microwave.
00:14:16And it's hot under there.
00:14:18And they go, is it too hot for you, Melissa?
00:14:20And she goes, no, I like it!
00:14:24And imagine, imagine, they get their head cooked.
00:14:26They're getting their head cooked.
00:14:28Imagine the radiation that gets into their head.
00:14:30You have no idea.
00:14:31And that's why women are a little bit different, you know?
00:14:35They're a little bit different.
00:14:42When a man wants to know if you love him, he goes, baby, do you love me?
00:14:45And that makes sense.
00:14:46When a woman wants to know if you love her, she goes, if I was a donkey and you,
00:14:53and you were a lizard, do you think we could still be together?
00:14:57And the man is like, what?
00:15:00And she's like, if I was a donkey and you were a lizard,
00:15:06did I stutter when I asked the question?
00:15:10Like, your hair looks fantastic, babe.
00:15:12I'm so sorry.
00:15:14Everything they do is violent.
00:15:16The Brazilian wax, let me tell you, there's nothing Brazilian about that.
00:15:21They put the word Brazilian there so that you think it's a tropical experience.
00:15:26But it is not a tropical experience.
00:15:28I have been there.
00:15:30I have been to every appointment because I had a single mom and I didn't behave good.
00:15:34I know what I'm talking about.
00:15:37I've been in there with my soccer cleats.
00:15:41You go to the Brazilian wax place and they grab your mom and they throw her on a surgical table.
00:15:46And then a little goblin comes through some curtains.
00:15:50Hello.
00:15:53And she, I haven't seen what they do, but it looks like they do honey and duct tape.
00:15:59On your mom.
00:16:01And then they look at your mom and they go, I'm going to count to three.
00:16:03Okay.
00:16:04One.
00:16:05Two.
00:16:08And then they hold it up like the head of a soldier that she killed.
00:16:19And then she looks at your mom and she goes, it has been a long time.
00:16:26And I'm sure that it hurts when they rip that off.
00:16:28I'm sure that it hurts.
00:16:29But my mom never screamed and she never cried.
00:16:31Women are too abnormal to scream or to cry.
00:16:34They rip it off and she talks.
00:16:36When it hurts, they talk.
00:16:37They go, nyagada.
00:16:38And your mom goes, my son is in the third grade.
00:16:40Did you know?
00:16:46Of course I'm scared.
00:16:48And I have seen it all.
00:16:49I have seen it all.
00:16:50I have seen a woman getting ready to leave the house.
00:16:54A woman getting ready to leave the house is one of the most violent scenes I have ever seen.
00:16:58In my entire life.
00:16:59They are able to turn their bathroom into Dexter's laboratory.
00:17:03There are potions and serums and creams and electricity and water.
00:17:09What a horrible combination.
00:17:11And everything is all at once.
00:17:13Everything is on fire in there.
00:17:14There's a cream that if you touch it and you touch your face, all the hair falls off your body.
00:17:20It is violent in there.
00:17:22And her makeup, she's not doing her makeup like.
00:17:25No.
00:17:25She has a pencil and she's putting it in her eye.
00:17:29And her eye starts to cry.
00:17:31And she's a savage.
00:17:32She goes, ah!
00:17:33And goes deeper with the pencil.
00:17:36The eye is rejecting the pencil.
00:17:40If the eye could talk, the eye would say, please mama, no more pencil.
00:17:45Please no more with the pencil, please.
00:17:48And she doesn't care.
00:17:49She goes deeper with the pencil.
00:17:51And if she makes a mistake, she goes, I have to start again!
00:17:53Like that.
00:17:56Tell me that's not scary.
00:17:59The clothes that women wear to leave the house is insane.
00:18:03Men are shirt, pants, shoes, maybe ha.
00:18:05Shirt, pants, shoes, maybe ha.
00:18:07Women, there's stuff that you have no idea that they have to wear.
00:18:11And the way that they have to contort their body.
00:18:14You don't even know.
00:18:15I was the wardrobe guy at my house.
00:18:17My mom would be like, Marcelo!
00:18:18And I walk in and she is...
00:18:23She's contort...
00:18:24She's a contortionist.
00:18:25I'm like, what's going on?
00:18:26She goes, I'm gonna put my elbow in my ass.
00:18:29Okay?
00:18:31And I'm like, what?
00:18:32She goes, I'm gonna put my elbow in my...
00:18:34When my elbow reaches my ass, I need you to zip.
00:18:36You understand?
00:18:39I'm like, that sounds dangerous, mommy.
00:18:41I don't know if that sounds like it's safe.
00:18:42It's not safe.
00:18:43It's what you have to do.
00:18:45Okay, elbow to the ass.
00:18:47Yes, elbow to the...
00:18:47I go, okay, yeah, it's not zipping.
00:18:49I said wait until my elbow reaches my ass!
00:18:54I had to be in there for all of that stuff, man.
00:18:56It's spooky.
00:18:57Women are not the delicate creature that you think that they are.
00:19:00They're living a violent life behind the scenes.
00:19:02And then they go out and they go, hi, how are you?
00:19:06Hell no, dog.
00:19:07All of it is violent.
00:19:08You go to a club and you see a woman and she's beautiful.
00:19:11And you're like, wow, I like your outfit.
00:19:13That's a nice shirt.
00:19:15That's not a shirt, papa.
00:19:17That thing clips, okay?
00:19:28You had no idea that thing clips, huh?
00:19:32You thought that she put her shirt on like this.
00:19:34No.
00:19:35She put it on like this, dog.
00:19:39She had to make it clip, dog.
00:19:42That's a lot of work that she has to do.
00:19:45And that's tight, dog.
00:19:46By the end of the night, that thing is in her neck.
00:19:49So...
00:19:50Be gentle with her.
00:19:52It's scary.
00:19:53All of it is scary, dog.
00:19:55And the blood.
00:19:55I saw the blood firsthand.
00:19:57People don't even think about the blood.
00:19:58Women don't want to talk about the blood.
00:19:59The blood is very real.
00:20:00I was a happy little boy.
00:20:02And I had a happy little sister.
00:20:05And one day out of nowhere, for no reason...
00:20:10Blood.
00:20:13And she's like, mommy, blood?
00:20:15And my mom is like, welcome to the club.
00:20:19And she's like, blood only for today?
00:20:21And my mom is like, blood forever.
00:20:25And now my happy little sister is counting the days of the blood.
00:20:29Like it's jail.
00:20:31She starts to say scary stuff to me.
00:20:33The blood is coming.
00:20:38There's three days until the blood.
00:20:41I'm like, what?
00:20:42She's like, the blood wants ice cream.
00:20:45I'm like, the blood can talk?
00:20:48She's like, I speak for the blood.
00:20:51The blood speaks through me.
00:20:54Like, oh my God.
00:20:55And the blood has Bluetooth.
00:20:57Did you know that?
00:20:59Because if three of you get together, you pair device.
00:21:13It's scary, dog.
00:21:14And then imagine, then we have to take them out on a date.
00:21:16You know?
00:21:17Imagine that.
00:21:18Imagine like you ask a girl out on a date.
00:21:21And she hasn't been on a date in a while.
00:21:23Think about it.
00:21:23Now she has to go through a week of torture.
00:21:25She has to pay all these different people to do all these horrible things to her body.
00:21:29Rip it.
00:21:29Rip it out.
00:21:35And it costs money.
00:21:36They pay, they pay, they pay.
00:21:37Put their head in the microwave.
00:21:39Money, money, money, money.
00:21:40Everything.
00:21:41They pay.
00:21:42And then they get to the date and they're like, so what do you do?
00:21:45And the guy's like, I'm still figuring that out.
00:21:50She's like, then I'm going to kill myself.
00:21:54It's not worth it.
00:22:03And that's why men have to pay on the date because by the time she gets to the date, she's
00:22:08in debt.
00:22:12There's no money left and you don't know where the blood is.
00:22:15So just pay and say, I'm sorry is what you say.
00:22:20I'm sorry for what you go through.
00:22:22And if you want to take a girl out on a date, but you don't want to pay.
00:22:25If you don't want to pay, tell her before the date that you don't want to pay.
00:22:31So you can both show up with a mustache and then you can split it like men.
00:22:49And that's how I grew up.
00:22:51I grew up in Miami in salons and Brazilian waxes.
00:22:58And then I went to college in Ohio.
00:23:02Yes, yes.
00:23:03I guess you could say that I studied abroad.
00:23:16And I was shocked when I got to Ohio because I thought that I was white.
00:23:22And then I got to Ohio and they were like, whoa, whoa, whoa there, Chikorito.
00:23:28It was a tough time.
00:23:30And I am going to talk about white people a little bit tonight.
00:23:32And I want to say something before I get into it.
00:23:35I want to say that I know that right now it's a tough time to be white.
00:23:41And I want to say, don't be sad.
00:23:45You guys had a fantastic run.
00:23:52It's okay.
00:23:55You know, and I know that today a lot of people say white people this and white people that.
00:24:02And I'm sure that that can affect your mental health.
00:24:12But I want you to know that when people say white people this and white people that, we're not talking
00:24:17about all of you.
00:24:19No.
00:24:20There's a group.
00:24:22And I'm sure some of you are here and you're like, Marcelo, am I in the group?
00:24:28I want to know if I'm in the group.
00:24:31I don't want to be in the group.
00:24:33I have a bunch of Latino friends.
00:24:34I'm not in the group, right?
00:24:40I mean, really, am I in the group?
00:24:41Just tell me because I want to know.
00:24:44And I'm going to help you to find out if you're in the group, okay?
00:24:47If you are white and when you were little your mom hit you, you're Hispanic.
00:25:01We accept you.
00:25:03We appreciate you.
00:25:05And sweet Caroline.
00:25:08Bam, bam, bam.
00:25:10You see, we're cool, guys.
00:25:12We're cool.
00:25:13Now, if you are white and you find that a lot of times in your life someone will say something
00:25:20and you go,
00:25:25then you are who we are talking about.
00:25:30So let's try to enjoy this together, huh?
00:25:33How about that?
00:25:34I'll tell you this.
00:25:35When I went to Ohio, my biggest surprise were the parties, you know?
00:25:38The way that white guys party did shock me a bit.
00:25:41Because in Miami, when we party, it's all about the girls.
00:25:44How many girls are going to be there?
00:25:46There can be no guys.
00:25:48There can only be girls.
00:25:49The party tonight is going to be 700 girls and us four.
00:25:56That's how we like to party.
00:25:57And in Ohio, it's not about the girls at all.
00:26:00It's about the beers.
00:26:01How many beers are going to be there?
00:26:03If I sell my car, how many beers do you think?
00:26:06And I'm like, I want to go home.
00:26:09You know, I didn't feel right.
00:26:11Because in Miami, you dance and you have to dance.
00:26:16In Miami, the music is making you dance.
00:26:18You don't have a choice in the matter.
00:26:20In Miami, it doesn't matter what status you are socially.
00:26:23The quarterback of the football team and the guy that likes chess are both getting disgusting on the dance floor.
00:26:29No matter what.
00:26:30No matter where you are, you have to.
00:26:33And it's not because you want to.
00:26:35It's because the music makes you dance.
00:26:37We cannot stop.
00:26:38The music is too crazy for you not to dance.
00:26:40You're sitting there standing still and then you hear...
00:26:51Look at you.
00:26:54You can't stop.
00:26:55You're like...
00:26:57You have to.
00:26:58You just have to.
00:26:59And that's what it is.
00:27:00The music's playing.
00:27:01The guys are dancing.
00:27:02And the women are everywhere.
00:27:04And they don't want to dance.
00:27:05By the way, Latina women do not want to dance.
00:27:07They are strong, feminist women.
00:27:09They're not interested in dancing with any man.
00:27:10I don't need any man to talk to me tonight.
00:27:12I'm not interested in talking to any man.
00:27:14I don't need you to tell me.
00:27:15I don't need a man to come up to me and be like,
00:27:16Ah, you look pretty.
00:27:17I know I look pretty, papi.
00:27:18I don't need you to tell me.
00:27:20I don't need you to tell me what I do and who I am and what I need to look
00:27:22like or anything like that.
00:27:23Ah, I...
00:27:25Oh, oh, you look beautiful.
00:27:26You look beautiful.
00:27:27I don't care what you say, papi.
00:27:28I work very hard to look beautiful.
00:27:29I put a pencil in my eye and I made a clip.
00:27:31So don't even talk to me.
00:27:35I went through a lot to be here already.
00:27:39So no, man.
00:27:39They're dancing and they don't want to dance.
00:27:43They're a very strong, feminist woman.
00:27:45They're not interested in dancing.
00:27:46And it's funny because they have this strong, feminist energy.
00:27:49But the music, the lyrics of the music in Miami are not feminist at all, are they?
00:27:55They are not feminist at all.
00:27:56This strong, feminist Latina woman is at this party and then the guy in the song is like...
00:28:03And out of nowhere, he goes, I grab you.
00:28:05I take you to my house.
00:28:06You don't have a choice.
00:28:10And the women are like...
00:28:11I don't have a choice.
00:28:25She does all that and then the next day she goes back to her nonprofit.
00:28:35That's two in the morning in Miami.
00:28:36Two in the morning in Cleveland, Ohio.
00:28:39It's a totally different story.
00:28:41All you hear is...
00:28:42Jealousy.
00:28:43Turn it on my daddy blind.
00:28:47Turn it on my...
00:28:49The girls are nowhere to be found.
00:28:52These guys are destroying the house.
00:28:55I have never felt like more of an immigrant in my entire life.
00:29:04And it's a sad...
00:29:04They're singing sad songs.
00:29:06It's the price I pay!
00:29:09Like, why are you paying a price?
00:29:13It doesn't make any sense.
00:29:14And we don't do that.
00:29:15We don't do Latinos.
00:29:16We don't have sad songs like that.
00:29:18The saddest song we have has a happy beat, you know?
00:29:21The beat is always happy.
00:29:24My wife, she left me.
00:29:25She took the kids.
00:29:30I'm homeless.
00:29:31I don't have money.
00:29:36The beat is so happy you don't even know what's happening.
00:29:39This guy's like, I'm gonna die in three months.
00:29:41And you're like...
00:29:45Not even thinking about it.
00:29:49But that's how it is.
00:29:50We don't do sad.
00:29:51We don't do depression.
00:29:52You know?
00:29:52It's hard for us to do depression.
00:29:54The Latinos, we don't really have it like that.
00:29:56You know?
00:29:56Me and my sister, we tried to get depression.
00:30:01When we were little, we tried to get it.
00:30:04We were like, Mommy, I'm depressed.
00:30:06And then she did like a rap.
00:30:09She did like a performance.
00:30:12We were like, Mommy, we're depressed.
00:30:14And she was like...
00:30:15Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:30:18Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:30:21Woo.
00:30:27Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:30:30You're depressed.
00:30:30Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:30:33Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:30:37Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:30:38Allow me to reintroduce myself.
00:30:40Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:30:43I am your mother.
00:30:45And when I was 12 years old, I had to leave my country
00:30:47because the government took my house.
00:30:49Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:30:50And I had to go to the United States by myself.
00:30:51And I had to work 27 different jobs.
00:30:53And I had to go to sleep in a washing machine
00:30:54and wake up in a dryer.
00:30:59And I didn't have any friends.
00:31:00And I didn't have any money.
00:31:00And I didn't have any toys.
00:31:01And I didn't have any YouTube.
00:31:02And I didn't have any Netflix.
00:31:03And I didn't have any Amazon.
00:31:03And I didn't have any Hulu.
00:31:04And I didn't have any YouTube TV.
00:31:05And I didn't have any Toys R Us.
00:31:06And I didn't have any Best Buy.
00:31:07And I didn't have any Target.
00:31:08And I didn't have anything.
00:31:11And then I had to learn to speak English.
00:31:13And I had to pay my way through college.
00:31:15And while I was doing that, I got pregnant with you.
00:31:20And you didn't ruin my life.
00:31:21But you did it didn't ruin my life.
00:31:25And when you were born you were so stupid you didn't even know how to walk.
00:31:28I had to teach you how to walk because you didn't even know how to walk.
00:31:31And then you got a little bit older and you wanted to do activities and I had to pick
00:31:34you up and drop you off.
00:31:49Sometime I had to drop you off and then I had to wait.
00:31:53and then I'll pick you up and drop you off and pick you up and drop you off and pick
00:31:56you up and
00:31:57drop you off and pick you up and drop you off pick you up and drop you off so if
00:32:01anybody in
00:32:02this house is gonna have depression it's gonna be me
00:32:17and that is when I learned that depression is something that you earn
00:32:39you have to deserve it and listen I know that mental health is real you know I'm just telling
00:32:46you my experience which is that I was not allowed to have it okay and and I I tried to
00:32:54have it I
00:32:54don't know what my life would have been like if I got to have it but I know that not
00:32:59having it kind
00:32:59of helped me in a lot of ways it helped me push through a lot of dark situations you know
00:33:03it
00:33:03wasn't always this nice for me this is a beautiful moment I'm very grateful for you guys and
00:33:08everything that you've done to support me it means the world
00:33:15people people sometimes ask me they go Marcelo do you like it do you like to be on Saturday live
00:33:21night
00:33:26and they always go when does it film I'm like
00:33:32it's okay people ask me they go do you like it do you like to tour do you like to
00:33:37do these shows
00:33:37do you like what you're doing and I'm like do I like it I used to be the guy at
00:33:42the top of the slide
00:33:42at a water park I love it I it is insane what has happened to me
00:33:53my my job used to be to look at a little kid and say wait
00:33:59and a little kid would be like I want to go right now
00:34:05you have to wait I'm so sorry that was my job I had little kids coming up to me and
00:34:11screaming at me
00:34:11you know look and I learned a lot at that job I learned about hard work and about you know
00:34:18struggle and about being in the wrong place but having to continue and I also learned that I don't
00:34:23like skinny kids I I don't like them I'm sorry I don't like them have you seen them have you
00:34:29seen
00:34:29a skinny kid they're possessed they're like
00:34:39and the blood is pumping too fast in their body and they're crazy skinny kids used to come up to
00:34:44the top of the slide and look me in my eye and be like push me and I'll tell you
00:34:50the truth I wanted
00:34:50to I wasn't allowed but I wanted to I don't like them skinny kids and they'll say random stuff skinny
00:34:56kids will just lie to your face they'll just say a lie a skinny kid will be like I can
00:35:00run faster
00:35:01than a car I'm like no you can't you can't do that nobody can do that that's so stupid why
00:35:05would
00:35:05you even say that skinny kids are insane skinny kids will reveal a family secret don't tell a
00:35:10skinny kid anything a skinny kid will tell everyone a family secret a skinny kid will come to you and
00:35:14be like my mom takes pills to go to sleep
00:35:22my mom hits my dad and he cries
00:35:27like shut up and I can talk about skinny kids because I was one I might have been one of
00:35:34the
00:35:34skinniest kids of all time and I did some skinny stuff I did the skinniest thing I ever did
00:35:46when I was 10 years old I used to take the bus to school and home from school because my
00:35:50mom worked
00:35:51a lot and um I wasn't getting a lot of respect on the bus because I was new on the
00:35:55bus and the bus
00:35:56is like jail whoever is there the longest they have the most respect and I was new on the bus
00:36:04so I
00:36:05didn't get any respect so I decided one day to convince everyone on the bus that my mom lets me
00:36:12smoke cigarettes and they believed me and then when they were like oh that's cool I was like yeah
00:36:19and my dad lets me drink alcohol and they were like whoa that's cool and I'm like yeah and they
00:36:25were like all right well we better enjoy Marcelo because he's gonna die very soon and I was a legend
00:36:32on the bus a legend they thought that I was getting drunk and just smoking cigarettes at 10 years old
00:36:37I was a legend every time I would get on the bus the girls would be like Marcelo and I'll
00:36:42be like chill
00:36:42mommy I'm wasted I was a badass on the bus and then after like two or three weeks of being
00:36:52a legend on
00:36:53the bus I got home one day and my home phone rang and I picked up the phone and I
00:36:59swear this lady on
00:37:01the phone goes hi this is Anna from child protective services and I was like what she was like I'm
00:37:10calling due to a report by your bus driver that your mom lets you smoke cigarettes and your dad lets
00:37:14you drink alcohol um we just wanted to let you know that we are in the process of finding you
00:37:20a foster
00:37:20home and I'm like no they don't even let me drink soda she goes I understand you're scared um but
00:37:33just
00:37:34please let me talk to your mom and I'm like no find the foster home first
00:37:48hell no so she obviously was like this is very serious let me talk to your mom I'm like okay
00:37:54and so I talked to God for a moment and then I gave the phone to my mom and my
00:38:02mom is like who is it
00:38:02and I'm like she's gonna take me she's like who I'm like the water on the farm and then my
00:38:09mom's like
00:38:09what she grabs the phone she starts talking to this lady she gets emotional she goes wow okay
00:38:15all right I will okay I will when she hangs up the phone she tells me that now by law
00:38:21her and my father
00:38:22need to report to child protective services my mom needs to check her nails and her lungs to see if
00:38:29she's an active smoker and my dad has to pee in little cups to see if he's an active drinker
00:38:38yeah yeah that's how skinny I was
00:38:45yeah
00:38:49maybe one of the skinniest of all time
00:38:52and so imagine the guilt that my mom put on me for those two weeks she had to report to
00:38:57child
00:38:57protective service imagine every day have a great day at school Marcelo
00:39:03I'm gonna go to child protective services to see if I can still be your mom
00:39:13I felt so bad I felt so guilty I was paranoid super paranoid I told everyone at school even the
00:39:20teachers that they cannot say anything in front of the bus driver because he is undercover for child
00:39:25protective service I was freaking out I have never been so freaked out in my life and those two weeks
00:39:32felt like an eternity and after those two weeks my parents sat me down we had a conversation and they
00:39:38were like Marcelo um your father quit drinking a long time ago I quit smoking 15 years ago so
00:39:45obviously we tested negative and you get to stay with us and I was like good job guys
00:39:56and it was one of those that was so bad that they don't have to punish me I punish myself
00:40:03you know
00:40:03they look at me like this and I'm like no yeah I know I know I threw away my tv
00:40:09I threw away my xbox
00:40:11and I called Disney World and I told them that we're never gonna go back there again
00:40:16and we never talked about it again after I after it happened it was something that was so bad
00:40:22that we never talked about it again it was that bad it was one of those things that you just
00:40:27you let it go the kid learned the lesson you let it go that's how bad it is and we
00:40:32never
00:40:33communicated about it again I never apologized I never asked her what it was like nothing and
00:40:38that was when I was 10 when I was 21 years old I was in Ohio and I saw a
00:40:45sign for child protective
00:40:47services inside of a CVS I'll never forget it and I saw the sign and I went wow I have
00:40:54not talked to
00:40:55my mom about our experience I have never asked her what it was like to have such a skinny kid
00:41:01so
00:41:03I decided to call her and apologize so I called my mom and I go mommy do you remember when
00:41:11child
00:41:12protective services almost took me because the bus driver was a double agent
00:41:22and my mom goes I see yes Marcelo I remember and I forgot to tell you that that was my
00:41:29friend Maria
00:41:29that called you that day
00:41:50and I'm glad it's funny to you guys
00:41:54I was so confused I was like what and she was like your sister told me what you said on
00:42:01the bus
00:42:02I was like wow I had no idea she was such an evil little witch
00:42:07my mom was like yeah your sister told me what you said so I was like oh he wants to
00:42:11lie let's see who
00:42:12can lie the best and to this day every year on my birthday this evil woman posts on my facebook
00:42:23page
00:42:23happy birthday from Anna at child protective services
00:42:36people sometimes they wonder you know they go how Latino is Marcelo he looks like he plays lacrosse
00:42:42and I'm gonna tell you exactly how Latino I am my mom used to hit me in the women's bathroom
00:42:51at the mall
00:43:00I'm a real veteran dog to a lot of people that was just a bathroom to us it was the
00:43:08Coliseum
00:43:10we lost a lot of great men in there
00:43:14and I never did anything crazy to deserve to go to the Coliseum you know sometimes you'll be at the
00:43:18mall
00:43:18and you see a little kid talking to his mom and he's like I hate you and I want to
00:43:22go home
00:43:27you know and I'll let you guys decide the race of that child
00:43:33anytime I will see a little kid talking to his mom like that like
00:43:36I hate you and I want to go home I will go up to my mom and be like you
00:43:39know I would never do that to you right
00:43:45that little boy has crossed the line
00:43:49and I pray that he pays the price
00:43:53that is all your highness
00:43:58oh I would never do something like that to my mom the reason that I would get in trouble
00:44:01is because my mom would notice that I would do like a personality trait
00:44:06that she didn't like you know
00:44:09we get in trouble not for saying something crazy to our mom
00:44:11we don't have the balls to say something crazy to our mom
00:44:13our mom is too scary for us to say something crazy to her
00:44:16we say it in our room behind her back
00:44:18you know
00:44:18in your room you talk to her in an imaginary
00:44:21you go you better not talk to me like that I'll kill you
00:44:23you know
00:44:24and then she goes what was that
00:44:25you go nothing
00:44:28talking to myself
00:44:32no we get in trouble for going like this
00:44:34where she tells you to do something and you go
00:44:39and sometimes you realize in the moment
00:44:41have you ever done that
00:44:42have you ever realized in the moment what you just did
00:44:44and what your future holds
00:44:48have you ever done that
00:44:48your mom's like take out the trash
00:44:50and you're like
00:44:56no no no please please mommy no please
00:44:59I don't even know that guy
00:45:00I don't even know who did that
00:45:01I would never do that to you
00:45:03after everything that you do for me
00:45:04and all the sacrifices that you make
00:45:05and everything that you do to give me a good life
00:45:07I would never do that to you
00:45:09I've been there
00:45:12well what happened to me is
00:45:14is right before we leave the mall
00:45:15we'd be about to leave the mall
00:45:16and right before we leave the mall
00:45:18we'd be at the door of the mall
00:45:19and I can feel the air of the outside
00:45:22and I can't wait to leave the mall
00:45:24because we have been at the mall for 10 hours
00:45:27and we have not bought anything for anybody
00:45:31and I am so ready to leave the mall
00:45:33right when I get to the door
00:45:34my mom goes
00:45:35ah Marcelo I forgot to go to DSW
00:45:37let's go
00:45:39and I go like this
00:45:41I go
00:45:45and that's it
00:45:49time to go to the Coliseum
00:45:52and now I'm in the women's bathroom in Miami
00:45:55in the early 2000s
00:45:56because I breathed incorrectly
00:46:06I am in there
00:46:08and my mom is twisting my ear
00:46:10in a way that is teaching me
00:46:13about anatomy
00:46:15I'm learning about cartilage
00:46:17and how it cannot be destroyed
00:46:21she's twisting my ear
00:46:23I'm like
00:46:23and it's a very Latina environment
00:46:26because the music in the bathroom
00:46:34is
00:46:34I'm getting my ass beat
00:46:35to Gloria Etefan
00:46:40and I look across the bathroom
00:46:42and there's another little Latino kid
00:46:43getting his ass beat
00:46:45and I'm like
00:46:45what you do
00:46:46and he's like
00:46:46I didn't do anything
00:46:48she didn't want to do anything
00:46:50I didn't do anything
00:46:53and I'm like
00:46:54I don't understand you papa
00:46:55you're going to have to slow down
00:46:57he's like
00:46:58nothing
00:46:58my mom
00:47:00got me some sneakers
00:47:01and
00:47:02I didn't like them
00:47:09I'm like
00:47:10what did you do
00:47:10when you didn't like the sneakers
00:47:12he's like
00:47:12nothing
00:47:13she
00:47:14showed me the sneakers
00:47:15and I didn't like them
00:47:16and then
00:47:17very quietly
00:47:18to myself
00:47:19I just
00:47:20I went like this
00:47:20like
00:47:26that's suicide
00:47:29you deserve that
00:47:30my boy
00:47:33my mom never hit me hard
00:47:35my mom hit me
00:47:36a lot
00:47:42very different
00:47:44she hit me a lot
00:47:45and
00:47:46she had
00:47:46she had talks with me
00:47:48she would tell me
00:47:48these little speeches
00:47:49out of nowhere
00:47:50that would make me grateful
00:47:51for what's going on
00:47:52you know
00:47:52out of nowhere
00:47:53on a random day
00:47:54my mom would be like
00:47:55Marcelo
00:47:56what if I told you
00:47:57that everything that you think
00:47:58is yours
00:47:59is mine
00:48:02I'm like
00:48:03what
00:48:03she's like
00:48:04what if I told you
00:48:04that you don't have anything
00:48:05because you don't have a job
00:48:06and you don't have money
00:48:08I'm like
00:48:08what
00:48:09you don't have a job
00:48:10and you don't have money
00:48:10so you have not bought anything
00:48:11I have bought everything for you
00:48:12so you don't have anything
00:48:13nothing that you think is yours
00:48:14is yours
00:48:15everything is mine
00:48:15that's my TV
00:48:16that's my Xbox
00:48:17that's my bed
00:48:17that's my sheets
00:48:18that's my underwear
00:48:18that's my clothes
00:48:19the door is mine
00:48:20the air is mine
00:48:20don't touch the air
00:48:21that's my air
00:48:22don't touch the refrigerator
00:48:23that's my refrigerator
00:48:24nothing is yours
00:48:24and everything is mine
00:48:25do you understand that?
00:48:32and I'll be like
00:48:33what?
00:48:34she'll be like
00:48:34you don't have anything
00:48:36you don't have anything
00:48:37I have everything
00:48:37you don't have anything
00:48:38you don't work
00:48:39I work
00:48:39I have everything
00:48:40everything is mine
00:48:40nothing is yours
00:48:41And I'm like, okay, mama, I understand.
00:48:43And she's like, okay, happy birthday.
00:48:55And when you grow up like that, you know,
00:48:58when you grow up with that type of upbringing,
00:49:01you know, American TV and American movies
00:49:05start to become very unbelievable.
00:49:09I never understood any of the TV shows.
00:49:11I would go home, my mom would twist my ear in the bathroom,
00:49:14and then I would go home and watch Full House.
00:49:16And if you don't know Full House,
00:49:18Full House is a show about a white guy that his wife dies,
00:49:21and then him and his two friends
00:49:23need to raise three little girls.
00:49:25And they call it Full House
00:49:27because that's a lot of people in one house for the whites.
00:49:39Let's be honest.
00:49:41If that was a black, Latino, or Asian show,
00:49:44it would be called House.
00:49:56Every episode of that show used to blow my mind
00:49:58because the daughter would do something crazy.
00:50:01The daughter, the oldest daughter,
00:50:02would do something insane out of nowhere.
00:50:04She'd be like, I'm going to smoke cigarettes.
00:50:05I'd be at my house like, don't do that, DJ.
00:50:10That could be very, oh, come on, DJ, don't do that.
00:50:12Please don't do that.
00:50:14I was like my grandma watching a novella.
00:50:15Please, DJ, you're going to die.
00:50:21Then, of course, she wouldn't listen to me.
00:50:22She would go smoke cigarettes with the girl with the long neck.
00:50:28You remember Kimmy.
00:50:29And listen, I love Kimmy, but, and she grew into it.
00:50:33But back then, it was crazy.
00:50:36And so, they would go smoke cigarettes.
00:50:38And then DJ would come home smelling like cigarettes.
00:50:41And then Uncle Joey would be in the kitchen,
00:50:43and he would smell the cigarettes.
00:50:44And he would be like, oh my God,
00:50:45I have to go tell Bob Saget about this.
00:50:48And he would go tell Bob Saget, that's the dad.
00:50:51And then Bob Saget would come into the kitchen
00:50:53and be like, DJ,
00:50:56why does it smell like cigarettes?
00:50:59And where were you?
00:51:02And I'm already a little bit pissed off.
00:51:03I'm like, speak up, Bob Saget.
00:51:07You know exactly why it smells like cigarettes.
00:51:09That little girl disrespected you in your house.
00:51:12After everything that you do for her
00:51:13and all the sacrifices that you make
00:51:15and all the money that you spend to give her a good life,
00:51:17she has the balls to go behind your back
00:51:18and smoke cigarettes, Bob Saget.
00:51:23That little girl has crossed the line,
00:51:25and today is the day that she pays the price.
00:51:29And of course, Bob Saget,
00:51:32she's just looking at her,
00:51:33and she's looking at the camera,
00:51:35and the camera goes to DJ,
00:51:37and she goes,
00:51:39and I'm like, don't be scared now.
00:51:43You were a big girl when you wanted to smoke cigarettes.
00:51:47Be a big girl now.
00:51:50And then it will go to commercial,
00:51:52and I'll be like,
00:51:53oh!
00:51:57Bob Saget, when we come back from commercial,
00:52:00Bob Saget is about to beat the brakes
00:52:01off of this little bitch.
00:52:04Or at the very least,
00:52:05make her smoke the whole pack of cigarettes.
00:52:10At least show me something, Bob Saget.
00:52:14We come back from commercial,
00:52:15and DJ's like,
00:52:19and then she runs up the stairs,
00:52:21and I'm like,
00:52:22running makes it worse.
00:52:27If you know, you know.
00:52:30She runs up the stairs,
00:52:32and she gets to her door,
00:52:33and she goes,
00:52:34and she slams the door,
00:52:36and I'm like,
00:52:43strike two, mama.
00:52:46Now you're really going to get it.
00:52:48And then Bob Saget runs up the stairs,
00:52:50and I'm screaming at Bob Saget.
00:52:52I'm like,
00:52:52take your belt off on the way, Bob Saget.
00:52:59Bob Saget runs up there,
00:53:00he gets to the door,
00:53:01and she goes,
00:53:02and she locks the door.
00:53:06Exactly.
00:53:07Exactly.
00:53:09I'm not even upset.
00:53:11I'm confused.
00:53:12I'm like,
00:53:12where did this little girl get a lock?
00:53:19She must be paying rent in this house.
00:53:24And then Bob Saget gets to the door,
00:53:26and he blows my mind.
00:53:28Bob Saget gets to the door,
00:53:29and he goes,
00:53:32and that's when I freak out.
00:53:34I'm like,
00:53:34you don't have to knock on the door.
00:53:35That's your door.
00:53:40Take the door off the door,
00:53:43and hit her with the door.
00:53:50And I know that that's not the right thing to do,
00:53:52but I was hungry for blood at the time.
00:53:57He knocks on the door.
00:54:00The little girl goes,
00:54:01unlocks the door.
00:54:03What a lovely young lady.
00:54:05And then Bob Saget walks into that room,
00:54:07and again,
00:54:09does something that my brain cannot even comprehend.
00:54:12I gave him very simple instructions.
00:54:15I'm like,
00:54:15Bob,
00:54:16you don't have to hit her if you don't want to,
00:54:17but at least find something that she loves,
00:54:19and destroy it.
00:54:22That guy walks into this girl's room,
00:54:25and he goes,
00:54:25DJ.
00:54:40Why would you go smoke cigarettes?
00:54:45Why would you do that, DJ?
00:54:46DJ?
00:54:48You know,
00:54:49not only are you hurting me,
00:54:50but you're hurting yourself.
00:54:54And she's like,
00:54:55I'm sorry, Dad.
00:54:57He's like,
00:54:58it's okay, DJ.
00:55:02I love you very much,
00:55:04but today,
00:55:06I'm really disappointed.
00:55:10And I throw up.
00:55:17And then DJ goes,
00:55:19so,
00:55:20safe to say I can't go to the party on Friday?
00:55:24And I'm like,
00:55:25this bitch.
00:55:29And Bob Saget goes,
00:55:32safe to say.
00:55:46When I saw that,
00:55:47I wanted to record it,
00:55:48and present it to my mom.
00:55:51I wanted to put a TV on wheels,
00:55:53and go up to my mom,
00:55:54and be like,
00:55:55hello,
00:55:55sharks.
00:55:56Thank you for having me today.
00:56:01I would like to present to you,
00:56:02a different method,
00:56:03mama.
00:56:05And then my mom would be like,
00:56:07ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:56:10In my experience,
00:56:11the only way that you learn
00:56:12is when I twist your ear
00:56:13or destroy something that you love.
00:56:16And for that reason,
00:56:18I'm out.
00:56:32And I'll be honest,
00:56:33when I was watching those shows
00:56:35when I was younger,
00:56:36I did want that life.
00:56:37I did.
00:56:38I wanted that life.
00:56:39It seemed nice.
00:56:40It seemed safe.
00:56:42And I was jealous,
00:56:44you know?
00:56:45And now that I've gotten older,
00:56:46I have grown,
00:56:47you know,
00:56:47really proud of the way I grew up.
00:56:49I'm proud to have immigrant parents,
00:56:51and to be raised by them.
00:56:55And,
00:56:55you know,
00:56:58they made me strong,
00:57:00you know?
00:57:00They made me strong,
00:57:01and they made me powerful.
00:57:02And I feel like,
00:57:05you know,
00:57:05one day I want to have kids,
00:57:07and I do feel like
00:57:08I kind of want to have a kid
00:57:09that grew up like me,
00:57:10you know?
00:57:10And I think sometimes
00:57:12when people grow up like I did,
00:57:13you know,
00:57:14with the fake phone calls
00:57:15and the Coliseum,
00:57:18they say stuff like,
00:57:19I'm going to stop the cycle.
00:57:21I'm going to stop the cycle of violence.
00:57:23And I want to say to you tonight,
00:57:25Miami,
00:57:25I am going to continue the cycle.
00:57:36And,
00:57:37you know,
00:57:37I think that
00:57:39it's very interesting
00:57:40to grow up the way that we did,
00:57:41you know,
00:57:41with immigrant parents.
00:57:42It is very interesting.
00:57:43You know,
00:57:44we are not allowed
00:57:45to have mental health issues,
00:57:46and I think that
00:57:48that's why we steal the jobs.
00:57:52You know,
00:57:52who would you rather hire?
00:57:54You know,
00:57:55Antonio,
00:57:56who has no idea
00:57:56that he has any kind
00:57:58of mental health issue,
00:57:59or Jake,
00:58:00who's going to take
00:58:01a personal day.
00:58:12I don't know.
00:58:13I don't know.
00:58:13I just,
00:58:14I've been watching the news now
00:58:15for the first time
00:58:16in my life
00:58:17because they're talking
00:58:18about us,
00:58:19and it's crazy.
00:58:21Every time I turn on the news,
00:58:22there's a white lady,
00:58:23and she's like,
00:58:24the immigrants are coming in here,
00:58:25and they're doing crime.
00:58:26And I'm like,
00:58:30because I grew up
00:58:31around immigrants.
00:58:32Everybody I grew up with
00:58:32was an immigrant.
00:58:33My parents,
00:58:34my parents' friends,
00:58:35my teachers,
00:58:35everybody was an immigrant.
00:58:36My soccer coach,
00:58:37everyone I ever grew up with
00:58:38was an immigrant.
00:58:39And maybe we are doing crime,
00:58:41but the biggest crime
00:58:42that we're doing
00:58:43is working illegally,
00:58:44which is a pretty solid crime.
00:58:54There are a lot of Americans
00:58:55that don't want to work
00:58:56legally, you know?
00:58:57So we are filling a void there.
00:59:00We're helping out, you know?
00:59:01And I just don't like the idea
00:59:04that the immigrants,
00:59:06especially the Latino immigrants,
00:59:08are scary
00:59:08because I really know
00:59:09about Latino immigrants.
00:59:10That's something I know about.
00:59:11I don't know about politics.
00:59:12I don't know about laws.
00:59:13I don't know anything.
00:59:13I do know about Latino immigrants
00:59:15because that's who raised me.
00:59:16That's who I know.
00:59:17And when they get on the news
00:59:18and they go,
00:59:18the immigrants are scary,
00:59:20white people being like,
00:59:21the immigrants are scary.
00:59:22I'm like, no,
00:59:23and don't say that.
00:59:24We're not scary,
00:59:24and white people
00:59:25are not scared of us.
00:59:26Have you seen
00:59:27a white person at a resort?
00:59:31Do they look scared of us
00:59:32when they're like,
00:59:34hola?
00:59:38Como estas?
00:59:40They love us.
00:59:41They go to a bar.
00:59:42They make a joke
00:59:43with a Latino bartender.
00:59:44They laugh,
00:59:44and then they go,
00:59:45that's it, Santiago.
00:59:46You're coming home with us.
00:59:50You love us.
00:59:52We're fun.
00:59:53You know,
00:59:54and I know that there's some people
00:59:55that want the immigrants out of here,
00:59:56and there's some people
00:59:56that are sad about the immigrants.
00:59:58They're sad about what's happening
00:59:59to the immigrants.
00:59:59They're like,
01:00:00it's so sad what's happening
01:00:01to the immigrants.
01:00:02They're throwing them over the wall,
01:00:03and I want to say something right now.
01:00:07We'll be back, okay?
01:00:10We always come back.
01:00:14We're smart.
01:00:16We're smart.
01:00:18What are you going to do
01:00:19when I get to the border
01:00:20and I say bonjour?
01:00:24We'll be fine.
01:00:25We're genius.
01:00:26We'll be fine.
01:00:30It just does bother me
01:00:31a little bit to hear,
01:00:32you know,
01:00:33white people talking about
01:00:34the Latinos like we're scary.
01:00:35We're all scary.
01:00:36Everybody has scary people.
01:00:38But I want to say something
01:00:39to the white people
01:00:39that think that Latino immigrants
01:00:41are scary.
01:00:41I want to say that
01:00:42if you're white
01:00:44and you think
01:00:45that Latino immigrants
01:00:46are coming to America
01:00:48to grab a bunch
01:00:49of little kids
01:00:50and put them
01:00:52in a basement.
01:00:53No.
01:00:55That's your thing.
01:01:08We don't do that type of crime.
01:01:11We don't like our own kids.
01:01:13Why would we
01:01:13grab random kids?
01:01:15That's not interesting to us.
01:01:17We don't do that type of crime.
01:01:19And I know,
01:01:20I know I'm getting
01:01:20really aggressive
01:01:21with white people right now,
01:01:22but I can say it, okay,
01:01:24because I have a lot
01:01:25of white friends.
01:01:30And they love me.
01:01:32They're cool with it,
01:01:34so be cool, okay?
01:01:35We're all flawed people.
01:01:36And my big message
01:01:37is to remember this,
01:01:39white people,
01:01:40when you are judging
01:01:40the Latino immigrants,
01:01:42remember this.
01:01:42Remember that Latinos
01:01:44do fun, exciting crimes.
01:01:46What's a Latino crime?
01:01:48Be racist for a moment.
01:01:49What's a Latino crime?
01:01:50I'm driving the plane
01:01:51and it has a little bit
01:01:52of cocaine.
01:01:53That's a fun crime.
01:01:55That's a fun, exciting crime.
01:01:58We're in the air.
01:01:59Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
01:02:00It's fun.
01:02:02So let's remember this
01:02:03when we judge
01:02:04and when we put blanket statements
01:02:07on the Latino immigrants.
01:02:08Remember that.
01:02:09Remember that Latino immigrants
01:02:11do fun, exciting crimes
01:02:13that belong in movies.
01:02:17And white people
01:02:19do creepy crimes
01:02:21from documentaries.
01:02:26Miami!
01:02:33Thank you, thank you,
01:02:34thank you, thank you.
01:02:37I'm so happy to be home.
01:02:39Thank you for coming out tonight.
01:02:41Thank you for supporting me always.
01:02:43This is where it started.
01:02:45Y a lo latino los quiero,
01:02:46los amo.
01:02:48Gracias por apoyarme.
01:02:50Se le quiere mucho.
01:02:51Buenas noches, señores.
01:02:52Gracias.
01:02:54Gracias.
01:02:56Gracias.
01:02:58Gracias.
01:03:17Gracias.
01:03:20Gracias.
01:03:33Gracias.
01:03:43Gracias.
01:03:45Gracias.
01:04:15Gracias.
01:04:17Gracias.
01:04:22Gracias.
01:04:23Gracias.
01:04:23Gracias.
01:04:24Gracias.
01:04:24Gracias.
01:04:26Gracias.
01:04:27Gracias.
01:04:27Gracias.
01:04:29Gracias.
01:04:30Gracias.
01:04:31Gracias.
01:04:31You
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