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00:00Show open, take one.
00:03In a world where shiplap means serenity
00:07and subway tiles sparkle with timeless taste.
00:11Yeah, this isn't that world.
00:13Whoa!
00:15One woman will stop at nothing.
00:18Hurry.
00:19Hey, that's me.
00:21To track down the ugliest houses across America.
00:25I don't know if I love it or hate it.
00:28So far, she's conquered the worst of the Great Plains.
00:33This place is mayhem.
00:36The most shocking in the Midwest.
00:38One person's trash is another person's art.
00:42The awfulest in the Ozarks.
00:45What?
00:46We have taken down thousands.
00:48The biggest blunder in the Big East.
00:51This is how I describe the style.
00:54Huh!
00:55Take it!
00:56And now, she'll take on the Southwest.
00:59For you!
01:02My epic adventure across the country to find new and outrageous ugly is nearing its end.
01:09But before I can go home for a much-needed ugly detox, I'm headed to the Southwest.
01:14To a city named Tucson.
01:18We've hit a milestone, folks.
01:20This is our 100th ugly house.
01:28Okay.
01:30I'm deaf.
01:31But for the past seven seasons, we've seen a lot of questionable design choices.
01:40So, what better place to celebrate our 100th than in Tucson, Arizona, land of the 100-degree heat.
01:48I'm here to meet Alec and see if our 100th ugly house is the ugliest house in America.
01:57Wouldn't that be me?
02:04It is a castle.
02:06Who goes there?
02:08Oh!
02:09Hi, Retta.
02:10I'm guessing you're Alec?
02:12I am.
02:13Welcome to my castle house.
02:14You can meet me at the main gate over here.
02:16Copy that.
02:21Seems like a lot.
02:24Wow.
02:26I'm Robert, Alec's father.
02:27Hi, Robert.
02:29So, did you build this?
02:31I did not.
02:32The previous owner lived here for about 40 years and he made it into a castle fortress.
02:37Really?
02:38Yes.
02:39I love that you let me in this one and not the easier door.
02:42Of course.
02:45My name is Alec and I live in a castle in the middle of Tucson, Arizona.
02:49I'm definitely a fan of D&D and always kind of talked with friends about one day having a castle
02:55and one came on the market.
02:57So, here we are.
02:58This house is super well-known in Tucson.
03:01There's a 40-foot tower with a full spiral staircase, 16-foot perimeter wall with full-sized steel gates.
03:07But inside, it's kind of like a kaleidoscope of ideas.
03:10It's a Spanish-looking adobe house and it's kind of a mismatch of wood.
03:14All the ideas don't come together very well.
03:18Okay, so where are we headed in this here castle?
03:23I think we start by going up.
03:27Oh boy.
03:30Remind me to ask for a raise.
03:32Going up.
03:33What is the point?
03:35Oh, so this is just to get outside.
03:41It's blinding.
03:43It's so bright.
03:45Like seeing spots.
03:46This is like the hangout space.
03:48You have a nice mountain view out here.
03:49You can decide to go further up the tower, which gets a little sketchier.
03:54Yeah?
03:56Okay, we're going back down.
03:58It's too high.
04:02Oh.
04:03Is that Marilyn?
04:04It's supposed to be.
04:05Yes.
04:07This is rude.
04:08It's what we call a mishmash.
04:13What's that?
04:14Well, it used to be a snapping turtle tank.
04:17Oh.
04:17Rumor has it that the turtle had escaped into the neighbor's property.
04:20How?
04:21You have a perimeter wall.
04:24There's a lot of mysteries here.
04:26Enough with the outside.
04:28And we have our...
04:29Your guardsmen.
04:31We're going inside.
04:34This used to be a living room.
04:36There's a lot going on in here.
04:37It's kind of got the crenellations going around the top.
04:40Got mermaids.
04:42Yeah, you do.
04:43We've got lions, dragons.
04:46This lady looks Polynesian.
04:48Yup.
04:49And it really wants to be a castle, but there's no cohesiveness in there.
04:55Where to next?
04:56The bedroom?
04:59Question mark.
05:05So this was his bedroom?
05:07This was his bedroom.
05:09There are no lights in here.
05:10Wait, is this outside?
05:12Yes.
05:12Oh, okay.
05:13Through the stained glass windows.
05:15The stained glass was weird.
05:17The ones that are made to be something, I can kind of get behind.
05:23So are you going to make this your bedroom?
05:25The goal is to be able to host my friends and have nice long D&D weekends here.
05:29How long can a D&D weekend go?
05:32Four days?
05:33Five days?
05:34You got some time in your hands.
05:38Heading back this way.
05:40What?
05:41There's no stairs.
05:44I see that.
05:46Alec, what the heck?
05:48This is way too steep.
05:49I've got to walk backwards.
05:53This is dangerous.
05:55It is.
05:55Got to use the walls.
05:57Sheesh.
05:58And any good castle should have a dungeon.
06:04For a dungeon?
06:05It's not that bad.
06:07A lot of faces.
06:08They were here?
06:09They were here.
06:10And there was many more of them.
06:12Is this yours?
06:13You brought that.
06:14I did.
06:15I was going to say, you're like, I'm going to make this a dungeon for real, for real.
06:19Good on you.
06:21Alec, you are one of three semifinalists in the Southwest region.
06:26If you make it to the next round, you'll be that much closer to a renovation by Alice
06:31and Victoria.
06:32Amazing.
06:34I'm going to wish you good luck.
06:35Fingers crossed.
06:37And then, oh God.
06:38Back up the ramp.
06:39Head out.
06:40Thank you so much for coming.
06:42Best of luck.
06:43You probably might want to walk behind me and push me out.
06:45That's probably going to help me.
06:53This was the D&D castle.
06:55Dungeons and deserts.
06:57Appearance.
06:58Wants to be a castle.
07:00So bad.
07:01It's trying.
07:02It ain't working.
07:03What's the awkward factor in this house?
07:06Well, it's got random weird faces.
07:09Under the sea things.
07:11It's a bit of a mess.
07:12The surprise?
07:14The dungeon.
07:15Kind of the nicest spot in the house.
07:17Even with the skull chandelier.
07:19That's not a good sign.
07:20For our 100th house.
07:22It didn't disappoint.
07:24Hot mess everywhere.
07:26And next on my quest, I'm heading 440 miles west and traversing deep into the mountains
07:33of California.
07:34I'm going off the grid to the small town of Running Springs.
07:39I'm here to meet Christine and see if her house finally answers my question.
07:46Is this the ugliest house in America?
07:52This is one of the odder shaped houses in America.
07:57It looks like the roof of the house was sat on the floor.
08:10Oh my gosh.
08:11Can I?
08:13You look so beautiful.
08:15I can't believe how beautiful you are.
08:16Oh, well, thanks.
08:17Well, come out for a second.
08:19Oh, sure.
08:19So we can discuss this home.
08:22Oh, let me put my shoes on.
08:23Oh.
08:26Okay, Christine.
08:28Yes.
08:29Question for you.
08:30Yeah.
08:30Why this house?
08:32This house is known by the locals as a flying nun due to its wing-like structure.
08:37Yes.
08:38This is a prime example of a hyperbolic parabloid.
08:44Hyperbolic parabloid?
08:45Yes.
08:46Okay.
08:46So if you remember geometry class, a hyperbolic parabloid is basically a quad axis.
08:53Okay.
08:54So an axe would curve upwards towards a parabola and another axis would curve down.
09:01That create that saddle design.
09:04Christine, I'm going to need you to reel it in a little bit.
09:08I'm sorry, is there a chicken in your house?
09:11That's Omlet.
09:15The chicken's name is Omlet?
09:17Yes.
09:19Okay.
09:20She can't wait to see you.
09:21We're about to spend some time with Omlet.
09:31My name is Christine, and this is Omlet.
09:34I live in Running Springs, California with my pet chickens.
09:38When I first saw this house, I thought it was kind of funky, which is what we like.
09:44Inside, there's super high and super low ceilings.
09:48I was looking for the place where I could retire with my pet chickens, and so I snagged it.
09:55This one is by far the quirkiest house that I've ever gotten to sell.
09:59You got to find a special person to buy it, and I found one.
10:03You ready, Omlet?
10:06I love you.
10:13Hey, Omlet.
10:16This is a first.
10:18But as you can see, this geometric design causes this concave, convex shape.
10:24Right.
10:25And you don't get a lot of wall space.
10:28Must be hard to design around.
10:30It's really hard.
10:30Big fan of Christmas, are you?
10:33Yes.
10:34Me too.
10:37It's Christmas up in the hyperbolic parabolic.
10:42Parabolo.
10:46Does Omlet make all over the house?
10:49Yes, Omlet does.
10:51But Omlet has been learning how to perch in the toilet.
10:56So...
10:57Really?
10:58Yes.
11:01Does it stand on the edge and stick its butt in?
11:03That seems messy.
11:05Please come into the kitchen.
11:08Well, I will say you've made good use of the space.
11:14All of the appliances are glitchy.
11:16The cooktop, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't work.
11:19Uh-huh.
11:19And so I actually use the oven as my shoe rack.
11:23Yes.
11:25So you don't cook?
11:26I'm learning and I have to learn how to bake an egg, cook an egg, fry an egg.
11:32I don't know what else, scramble an egg.
11:35I mean, it looks like you've got new floors.
11:38And it's actually quite good for chickens because they can poop everywhere and I could just wipe off.
11:43And I could steam clean my floors.
11:46The draw for the floors for her was the easy chicken poop cleanup.
11:51A first.
11:54You might want to see the bedroom.
11:56Oh, gosh.
12:00Oh.
12:01Listen.
12:02You do not have a lot of room, but it's sweet.
12:07There isn't a closet.
12:08Right.
12:09So I put most of my clothes, like, underneath the bed.
12:11Oh, okay.
12:11And I have some in my shed.
12:15Yeah.
12:16Is this the bathroom?
12:17Yes, ma'am.
12:18It's supposed to be a Jack and Jill.
12:20Oh.
12:23It's just small.
12:24You have a tub.
12:26Yeah.
12:26So there's enough space for that at least.
12:28Yeah.
12:28Someday I would like to have ducks.
12:31Of course she wants ducks.
12:33All right.
12:34I guess we can make our way through this Jack and Jill situation.
12:38Bedroom number two.
12:40Yes, ma'am.
12:40Slash main living space.
12:43Yes.
12:46I don't understand how they were allowed to call this a bedroom.
12:49No closet.
12:50No wall.
12:51I mean.
12:52But there's a bathroom.
12:53There's a bathroom.
12:54So we're good there.
12:55Yeah.
12:56More Christmas.
12:57Oh, yes.
12:58I love my Christmas and my chickens.
13:01All right.
13:02Let's check out outside.
13:03Okay.
13:06So Reda, this is the reason why I bought this house.
13:11This good size for my five pet chickens.
13:14And I was thinking also about building like a golf course over there so I could play golf.
13:20Miniature golf.
13:21Yes.
13:21While watching my pet chickens.
13:25Well, Christine, thank you for showing me your home.
13:28I'm going to wish you good luck.
13:30Bye omelet.
13:31Would you like to hold omelet?
13:33No, no, no.
13:33I'm good.
13:40So that was the Habitat.
13:44It has the appearance of a museum space given the curves and the points.
13:50It's awkward in that it doesn't allow for storage.
13:55I need more space.
13:56And I'm not putting it in the shed.
13:58I got to say the surprise was omelet.
14:01I did not know this home housed foul.
14:07This Southwest.
14:08Good on you.
14:09And you know why I like it?
14:10Because!
14:13At long last, my quest brings me 360 miles east to a place uniquely nestled in both the mountains and
14:22desert.
14:23Carefree Arizona.
14:24Welcome to Carefree Arizona.
14:26Just outside of Phoenix in the Sonoran Desert.
14:30Today it's expected to be 113 degrees.
14:34But it's a dry heat.
14:35I'm here to meet Catherine and see if she has the ugliest house in America.
14:40Also, to see if she has AC.
14:45This house is interesting.
14:49Hi!
14:50Hi, Renit!
14:52Hi!
14:53How are you?
14:54I'll be right down.
14:55Okay!
14:58She's up there!
15:08Hi!
15:09Katherine!
15:09Can I hug you?
15:11Hi!
15:12Welcome!
15:13I'm so glad you're here.
15:14First of all, this looks like a giant house.
15:16It looks like it might be the most interesting house in America.
15:19I don't know about uglies.
15:20I'm gonna have to see inside.
15:21I can't wait to show you.
15:24My name is Katherine, and I live in the first bridge house ever built in Arizona.
15:27The house is built on boulders, so you could actually walk all the way completely under the house from the
15:32front yard to the backyard.
15:34The original builders rented the house out to Orson Welles, apparently.
15:37The story is they actually evicted Orson Welles, and all that was left at the house was a size 68
15:43underwear box of shorts.
15:44And this is the underwear.
15:48My boss, Bob, bought this house 30 years ago, and he left it to my daughter and I when he
15:53passed away.
15:54It needs a lot of work, and it's something that, honestly, I'm just not capable of.
15:58The main house, right this way.
16:00Oh, yeah, it is.
16:01There's 40 steps to get up here.
16:05So this is the main front door.
16:10So this is your foyer?
16:12It's the bar area.
16:13It's the bar.
16:14I did a little do-it-myself stuff here.
16:17Yeah, what is this protruding box?
16:19This used to be a tall bar.
16:21We had to rip the bar all out.
16:23So you can see where I've just filled in.
16:25I just filled it with cement and made pretend tiles.
16:29So these are all randomly painted yellow tiles?
16:31I painted all of these.
16:33I did this route with a tiny paintbrush.
16:37There's so much, like the sink right here.
16:39That is hilarious.
16:40That sink is just sitting in there.
16:41Just because it looks pretty.
16:45Literally, it's just sitting there.
16:48You're like, I just liked it.
16:50All right, now continue forward.
16:53So this is the red room.
16:55The red room.
16:56This is where you have the fun.
16:57This is the party room.
17:00Red room.
17:01Red room.
17:02And there's my couch that matches my-
17:04Yes, that matches the squares there in the floor.
17:08This is the other entrance to the house.
17:11Oh.
17:11It's kind of my private entrance that nobody knows about.
17:15Here's my bathtub.
17:17Is that crazy?
17:18Yeah.
17:19So people come to this door and this is-
17:21I can't take a bath.
17:22That's why I have that plant there.
17:24It's in the corner.
17:26I can kind of move it back when I'm taking a bath.
17:29Help.
17:31We can go in the bathroom.
17:32Okay.
17:32I'll show you a little more do-it-yourself stuff I've tackled.
17:38This is my first do-it-yourself project here.
17:40Okay.
17:41So I had to tile all of that.
17:42Oh.
17:44I cut my new tiles so they're not as big.
17:47But then the grout is this much wider.
17:49Yes, that's what it is.
17:51Yes.
17:52Wait, these are painted too?
17:54Yeah, I painted everything.
17:55But you should have seen it before.
17:59I'm overwhelmed knowing how much she did.
18:03If I were here, I would have been like, I'll pay for it.
18:09Okay.
18:11The kitchen.
18:12Oh my goodness.
18:15This was Harley orange when I moved in.
18:18It was crazy.
18:19And then all of the seafoam green was big brown tiles.
18:22So I did these myself.
18:24I went through quite a bit of tile trying to figure it out.
18:26Yeah, I see the ones over there are just a little focaccia.
18:29Yeah.
18:29It doesn't look so bad.
18:31I mean, no.
18:33Home improvement is expensive.
18:35So Catherine gets a pass for trying to make her home work.
18:42Here's the problem.
18:44It didn't work.
18:47Thank you for showing me your home.
18:48My pleasure.
18:49I'm going to wish you good luck.
18:51Then I'm going to go out into this heat.
18:53You're welcome to jump in the pool.
18:55Oh yeah.
18:55There's the pool.
18:57I'm going in.
18:58Bye.
19:04This house is the double DIY.
19:08Don't do it yourself.
19:10The appearance.
19:11Everything painted looks like a fourth grade project.
19:14What's awkward is every project seemed to be started but never finished.
19:19It's a bit of a mess.
19:21Isn't it a surprise?
19:23If you come in the back way, you got to get a little something from the bathroom.
19:28All's not wells in the Southwest region.
19:34My quest across the country is complete and the Southwest was one heck of an ugly showdown.
19:40But only one of these houses can move on for a chance at that life changing home renovation.
19:50Southwest, you were the final stop on my ugly quest to the far reaches of the country.
19:56And you were lush with ugly.
19:58And while all three houses were an oasis of hideousness, only one can take the region.
20:05It's between a confused castle with major off with their head vibes.
20:10The dungeon.
20:11Sadly.
20:12The nicest room in the house.
20:14A house where the walls are closing in on you and the company is foul.
20:18I have five pet chickens.
20:21Are they all eating here?
20:23And a house on the rocks where the DIY makes you wonder why.
20:29You should have seen it before.
20:33Here we are again.
20:34I get to do what I like to do.
20:36Let people know.
20:38They got ugly houses.
20:41Connected to the homeowner.
20:48Long time no see Alec.
20:50Very long time.
20:51I just wanted to get on and let you know that you have the ugliest house in the Southwest.
20:56Wonderful.
20:58Completely personal.
21:00Listen, service in a castle is always going to be shoddy.
21:06I'm going to wish you luck.
21:07If you actually make it to the ugliest house, you'll see this face again.
21:11I would be absolutely honored.
21:13Well, it's good to see you.
21:14Thank you so much.
21:15Congratulations, D&D Castle.
21:17You claimed your ugly throne.
21:20But will it be enough to conquer them all?
21:22We now have five hideous semifinalists from across the country.
21:27And with my quest finished, all that's left to do is crown the ugliest house in America.
21:33Anbakка.awningbeyondca.
21:36Thank you, everyone.
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