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00:29Satsang with Mooji
00:58Satsang with Mooji
01:00That night, all those years ago, leaning against the kitchen cabinets wasted on cheap beer
01:06I made him laugh
01:08And it was so spontaneous and natural
01:15I knew he felt it too
01:17But then she walked over and I introduced them
01:21Robert, this is Nancy
01:39What is it?
01:46Oh my God
01:48What is it?
02:05What is it?
02:05What is it?
02:06What is it?
02:08What is it?
02:37What is it?
02:42It doesn't even look like her
02:45It's Nancy, obviously, but it doesn't look like her
02:50I defended David
02:53I really thought this didn't make any sense
02:57It doesn't
02:59Everyone gets to see this now and think whatever they want
03:02Before I've even had a chance to
03:03I know, but
03:07I hope you know that
03:10Whatever it is that you are feeling, you can tell me
03:15I mean, it's bad enough to imagine her with someone else
03:22Seeing that
03:26I thought that when they had the guy in custody
03:29There'd be some sense of relief
03:40There's none
03:43Do you feel any?
03:46No
03:48No
03:48Not really
03:50Despite all that
03:52I still love her
03:57Give anything to get her back
04:00Is that crazy, am I?
04:03No
04:07No, it's not crazy
04:08No, it's not crazy
04:15This is me
04:16This is me
04:22Hey
04:22Yes
04:26Thank you for coming with me today
04:30It was nice being somewhere important to her
04:34Even if it was just for a little bit
04:47Thank you
04:55Oh shit
04:58Hey
05:01Well, I came to confront you about leaving me all red but
05:06Wow
05:08I'm sorry
05:09You know, if you had other plans you could have just told me
05:11I had previous plans to go to the valet with a friend
05:14And I'm, my phone was on silent
05:16You know, it feels like you don't take me seriously
05:19I thought we both understood that I am not interested in serious, Jay
05:23That's not what I meant
05:24What I meant is you don't respect me, like, as a person
05:28I do
05:30Jay, this is not an easy time for me right now
05:33It's not really even about tonight though, right?
05:35I mean, after the St. Patrick's Day party
05:37You come over two hours after you said you would?
05:40The night your friend died?
05:41I mean, you text me at 9pm, you show up at 1?
05:43What is that about?
05:44No, it was just after 10
05:46No, it was definitely later than that
05:47No, it wasn't
05:48Hell, I stayed up
05:52We should not be talking about this in the street
05:55I think we should go upstairs
05:57I think we should open a bottle of wine
05:59And maybe try to talk about this like adults
06:03Yeah?
06:05You said wine
06:06Oh, it's the wine that got you
06:08Not the adult part?
06:09No, at least he wasn't
06:12No, it wasn't
06:15Oh, you were trying
06:37That was me
06:38A couple of days
06:38Had to approach this
06:38I read your scroll
06:38It was just after he never wished
06:39We just shot bardzo
06:39And now
06:39Oh, my God.
07:09Long hair this wavy, and a pimpin', shopping all day, no Macy.
07:13I found first lady, you again can't date me, look at your savings.
07:16You and you still waiting, still pulling out Daisy, counting on daydreams.
07:20Crazy, gotta pull crazy, none of these hazy's hate you, baby.
07:23Like Daisy, gotta pull crazy, none of these hazy's hate you, baby.
07:26No baby, no crazy.
07:29Nothing, nothing, nothing crazy.
07:32Morning.
07:34Hey.
07:35No milk, no sugar, just coffee grounds and hot water.
07:39Your favorite.
07:41Yeah.
07:43You're gonna be late for work.
07:45You know, I think my boss will understand.
07:48Oh, wow.
07:49You know, I didn't know you were into fishing.
07:52Are you?
07:53I'm not.
07:55Okay.
07:56Well, if you want to learn.
07:58I know there's a great spot at Lake Gregory.
07:59Shay, you should really get to the office.
08:02Yeah, no, I, I, I should.
08:05Let me do that.
08:06I'll, I'll see you there.
08:08Yeah.
08:21I call chocolate.
08:23I'm one of the chocolate ones.
08:25Too bad.
08:25Too bad.
08:26I'm sorry, sweetheart.
08:27I have to honor the dibs.
08:29Backpack's on in 20 minutes, girls.
08:31What do you say to Aunt Ellie?
08:33Thank you, Aunt Ellie.
08:34Welcome.
08:35Is it too much sugar?
08:36There's no such thing.
08:38Well, sure, I'm in there.
08:39So what were you gonna tell me about the ballet?
08:42Okay, so what?
08:43I'm just not allowed to use the car anymore?
08:44This is what happens, Marcus.
08:45When you sit in my car and vape in secret,
08:47it's gonna keep doing this.
08:48Hey, guys.
08:49Hey, Elinor.
08:50Hey, hey, mom, could you tell me to cut me some slack?
08:51I'm just trying to ask for a jump.
08:53Sweetie, why don't you go outside for a job?
08:53Let's find the debris cables.
08:54Come on.
08:55I am so sorry about all of this.
08:57No, it's great.
08:57I promise you will have my full attention.
09:00Let me just make some room.
09:02Oh, God.
09:03I'm so sorry.
09:04Oh, no, no, it's okay.
09:04I'll get it.
09:05I'll get it.
09:05Ellie, let me get that.
09:11What is this?
09:12It's nothing.
09:13Nothing?
09:14It's a police report.
09:18They're public records.
09:20Yes, but why do you have them?
09:21Because something doesn't feel right.
09:24I know David was arrested,
09:26but he was arrested for robbery, not murder,
09:28and because of some random informant's testimony.
09:31I mean, come on, it's sketchy.
09:33The news is trying to connect it to Nancy,
09:36and it's not.
09:38So you're investing a lot of time on this.
09:41Don't do that.
09:42Don't make me sound like I'm fragile.
09:46I get enough of that around here.
09:48Okay.
10:00Oh, thank you.
10:02I just couldn't get myself to do it.
10:05I get it.
10:06I keep staring at old text messages from her
10:09that I can't delete.
10:10Yeah.
10:12Was this your breakfast?
10:14I haven't had much of an appetite.
10:16Something else going on?
10:19It's just I don't want to bother you
10:20with it on top of everything else.
10:22What is it?
10:26Kit asked me today what I'm doing
10:28for Cora's birthday this weekend.
10:31I forgot about it.
10:33So now I'm trying to figure out this DJ
10:34for some silent disco
10:36that I have no idea if she's even into,
10:37and I'm Googling 17-year-old girl birthday party.
10:41Careful.
10:41You don't want to end up on a list.
10:44Thanks.
10:45Now I feel like an idiot pervert.
10:50What kind of father
10:51forgets his own daughter's birthday?
10:54I can't believe it.
10:55One married to Nancy?
10:57Yeah.
10:57You've never had to think about any of this.
10:59Yeah, but I want to at least try.
11:01You know, it's the first birthday after...
11:08Nancy always made it magical.
11:10I'm not going to give a speech, I swear.
11:1316 years ago,
11:14the greatest gift came into my life,
11:16and today we get to celebrate her.
11:20So without further ado,
11:22the birthday girl,
11:23my baby girl, Cora.
11:25Is it your birthday girl?
11:27Cause you looking like a present.
11:29Is it your birthday girl?
11:32Ooh.
11:34It's on me, ladies.
11:35Gonna get it if you want it.
11:36It's free, ladies.
11:37Feel good when you're rolling with me, don't it?
11:39We here, we just had to believe on it.
11:42So glad we never worried about the shit they say.
11:45My biggest plans is that my turn is same.
11:48I'm starting from the bottom of my heart.
11:51Love you so much,
11:53don't mean to give me more shit.
11:56I just don't want to fuck it up.
11:59I could help.
12:01I mean, I've been to my fair share of Nancy festivities.
12:05I think I could try to figure it out.
12:08And it's not too much?
12:09It's Cora.
12:10What's too much?
12:11There is no too much.
12:12Oh, thank you.
12:15Yeah.
12:16Yeah, okay.
12:17Just send me what you have so far, okay?
12:19Yeah, okay.
12:26Detective Gans,
12:27are you looking to buy in this neighborhood?
12:30Not with what they pay me, sadly.
12:33She's beautiful.
12:36Incredible lines.
12:37Not many people would custom paint a vintage 450SL, though.
12:42Then again, if money is no object,
12:44what does it matter if you devalue a classic
12:47in mint condition?
12:49To each his own.
12:51Yeah.
12:53Have a good day.
12:54Actually, if you don't mind,
12:58I'm sure you've seen this picture.
13:00Yeah, it's all over the news.
13:01Yeah.
13:02I have studied this picture.
13:04A lot.
13:04And what I can't get over,
13:06is the look on Mrs. Hennessey's face.
13:11Right?
13:11She looks relaxed,
13:13not a bit out of place,
13:15but it doesn't track.
13:17What does a Pasadena socialite
13:19have in common with this crowd?
13:21She wasn't always a socialite.
13:24She had a life before Robert.
13:27What kind of life?
13:28A tough one.
13:30Alcoholic mother,
13:31abusive stepfather,
13:33trailer park.
13:34It was not easy.
13:36Yeah, yeah.
13:37Now we looked into her history.
13:40It kind of makes this even more peculiar.
13:42Why will a woman like that?
13:45What does she have in common with Robert
13:47and his family?
13:50Or with you?
13:52Is my friendship
13:53under investigation?
13:56No.
13:57It is not.
13:58Is the robbery charge just bullshit?
14:01I feel like you wouldn't be asking me all this
14:03if you had a real case against David.
14:06Are you looking into someone else?
14:10Thank you for your time.
14:21What do you think?
14:23I don't know.
14:50Blow down your window!
14:55You have no right to be following me.
14:57This is harassment.
14:58I want your name and your badge number.
15:01I'm not a cop.
15:03I look for Donovan.
15:12Have you ever been to a war zone?
15:15A loss of life changes you.
15:18So I had them apply for asylum.
15:20Pulling some of those governmental strings we talked about.
15:23And long story short, they now have a thriving dental practice.
15:29Their daughter just graduated from Vassar last year.
15:32And that's incredible.
15:35But when your heart is speaking to you, you ought to listen.
15:40Ladies, if you'll excuse me, I have just a little business to tend to.
15:43But I'll see you at the pool a little later.
15:49That's cute.
15:50You use my stories to pick up women?
15:53It's a good story.
15:54And Mom and I do fund your little charity thing, so it's also my story.
15:59Little charity thing?
16:01Thanks, Donnie.
16:02The daughter went to Ohio State, by the way.
16:05Vassar sounded better.
16:06Wow.
16:07So, my guy Winston said you can sprint.
16:10Yeah, when I'm compelled to.
16:12In some families, when somebody's friend dies, they buy them flowers or a basket or even offer a hug.
16:19I can't relate.
16:20They say it's the curse of the well-bred and the wealthy.
16:24Okay.
16:25Not enough hugs, too much emotional sublimation, you know.
16:27Right.
16:28Since your man, Winston, is done stalking me, and you can see that I'm very safe, very sound, maybe you
16:35guys go home.
16:38I would love to.
16:39Mm-hmm.
16:40There are better things to do than babysit you.
16:42But?
16:42But when tragedy strikes, you do have a tendency to get unpredictable.
16:47That's not fair.
16:48No?
16:49No.
16:50When Dad died?
16:51Don't, no, don't do that.
16:52Do not bring him into this.
16:54I was in a very different place back then.
17:00Seriously?
17:01If I had confronted you without evidence, you would have denied it.
17:03This is two old friends grieving.
17:05These look like pretty big smiles for grieving.
17:08Honoring the passion of somebody we loved.
17:12B, you and I both know you love to fix a broken toy.
17:16Especially a certain nice Caucasian one.
17:18What?
17:18Maybe you'd join the BSU or some black sorority.
17:22Here we go.
17:22You'd be with a Jamal or a Terrell instead of stuck on you-know-who.
17:26You're an ass.
17:27Why don't you just admit that you have a blind spot when it comes to Robert, and you always have?
17:35Are you done?
17:36Stop fucking following me.
17:38Stop fucking following me.
18:08Stop fucking following me.
18:10I love you.
18:12Oh, boy.
18:14Oh, boy.
18:15Ah!
18:17Mom, Mom.
18:20Mom, Mom.
18:22Mom, Mom.
18:23Mom, Mom, Mom.
18:25Dad.
18:27Mom, Mom, Mom.
18:28Mom.
18:28Mom, Mom.
18:28Mom.
18:47I got a warrant.
18:49A warrant for what?
18:52Some of the messy things are financial records.
18:55They wanted to see if I stood to gain anything from having my wife killed.
19:00Oh, my God.
19:01They took my laptop.
19:03I was gonna call Kit, but she would've called my father,
19:05and he would've turned this into a whole shitstorm.
19:10I think they're just doing their due diligence, Robert.
19:12They're not gonna find anything.
19:13Of course not.
19:14I wasn't implying that I was saying that...
19:17All right, I'm sorry.
19:18It's just...
19:19This whole thing is just...
19:22Maybe this isn't the best time to throw a birthday party.
19:29I disagree.
19:31I think we have to keep on living.
19:34Do you know?
19:36Cora deserves some normalcy.
19:38As do you.
19:41And I think it's what Nancy would've wanted.
19:53So, if we are gonna add someone to the team in Liberia,
19:57my vote would be Chelsea.
19:59Has she volunteered?
20:01Uh, no.
20:02No, but she's still on some initiative.
20:03She just has great local connections I think might help us.
20:09Elle?
20:11Elle.
20:13Yes, I'm sorry.
20:15Yeah, it was all good.
20:17Um, I can reach out to her, though, if you'd like me to.
20:19Sure.
20:20Um, hey, Jay.
20:23This isn't gonna happen, but...
20:25the police investigation is getting kind of complicated, so...
20:31if someone were to ask you about me...
20:36I know.
20:37I got it.
20:38I won't say anything, okay?
20:40No, you can.
20:42You can tell them that I was at your place.
20:48I thought we would be discreet.
20:50We are.
20:51But, you know, if somebody asks, then we want to be helpful.
20:55Ellie?
20:56Yes.
20:56Do you have a second?
20:58Yes, of course.
20:59Can you give me a second?
21:01Yeah.
21:01Sorry.
21:01Oh, yeah.
21:05What's up?
21:06You okay?
21:07It's my mom.
21:08Someone asked to pick her up from the police station.
21:11What?
21:11What do you mean?
21:27I've contacted an attorney.
21:29He's on his way.
21:29She is not going to answer any questions until he gets here.
21:32We're not arresting her.
21:33I just need someone to take her off our hands.
21:36I don't understand.
21:37I found out that your friend has been harassing my officers.
21:41What?
21:41Last week alone, she submitted 20 public records requests.
21:46And today, she crossed a line.
21:48Next time, handcuffs.
21:56What the hell did you do?
21:58It doesn't matter.
21:59No, actually, it matters a lot.
22:02I may have used the C word.
22:04What?
22:05While throwing a stapler.
22:06Oh, my God.
22:07At a wall.
22:08Okay.
22:09Not a person.
22:10Are you okay?
22:11Look, they wasted all of this time on this Daveed thing.
22:14And meanwhile, they won't look at any of my leads.
22:17I circled every single David in our college yearbooks.
22:21I found every David that she follows on social media.
22:23I even found a William David who owns a flower shop in Texas.
22:27And she liked his post on Pinterest.
22:29And I just, I know it sounds crazy, but I don't know how to ask.
22:32Do not be mad at me for asking this.
22:33What?
22:34Are you taking the...
22:36No, Elle.
22:37Come on.
22:37I haven't taken more than an aspirin in six months.
22:39Okay?
22:40Okay.
22:43I'm sorry I can't let this go.
22:47But she told you, Elle.
22:50She shut me out.
22:51You got to hear things.
22:54And now I never will.
22:56She shut me out too.
22:58There's so much shit I don't know.
23:01I wish I could just distract myself like you can.
23:06With work and Robert.
23:10I think tonight we should just have a very relaxed evening.
23:14Okay?
23:15I'm gonna get some takeout.
23:16I'm gonna bring it over for you and the kids and Howard.
23:18We're just gonna chillax.
23:21Okay?
23:22Okay.
23:22I didn't realize anyone said that anymore.
23:25I do.
23:26Well, chillax.
23:48Hey, I just came to drop me through.
23:51Robert?
23:53Hey.
23:58Hey.
24:02That look cathartic.
24:04Yeah.
24:06Whenever I want a drink, I'm down here and hit some balls instead.
24:10How long have you been out here?
24:12Uh, well, I guess I really wanted a drink.
24:18Everything okay?
24:19Have you heard from the police?
24:21Well, they dropped off a few of Nassie's boxes, but aside from that, nothing.
24:25I did hear from your brother, though.
24:27Are you joking?
24:30It's pretty shocking he called me.
24:32It's been so many years.
24:33Well, I don't...
24:35What did he want?
24:36Offer his condolences.
24:38Right.
24:39The guy never liked me.
24:41Oh, come on.
24:42Did I ever tell you what he said to me?
24:44No.
24:45Oh, he was on that fishing trip with your dad, freshman year on spring break.
24:49Yeah.
24:50About an hour after we arrived, Donovan cornered me and told me that you were strictly off limits,
24:56romantically speaking.
24:58Why would he do that?
25:00I'm sure he was just doing the big brother thing.
25:03I wouldn't hold it against him.
25:04I'm gonna hop in the shower.
25:06Are you sitting around?
25:07I'm not sure.
25:09Okay.
25:24What decade do you think we're living in?
25:28I've been out in the sun a while.
25:29You're gonna have to give me a second.
25:30Do you think this is the dark ages where you get to decide who I date and who I don't
25:35date?
25:35Because despite what you and our mother believe, I am an adult.
25:40I'm an adult.
25:41I'm somebody who people look up to and rely on.
25:44I make responsible decisions about what I want and what I do.
25:48Okay.
25:50Why don't you have a seat?
25:52Tell me what we're so worked up about today.
25:55You called Robert?
25:58That was fast.
26:00You two talk a lot, huh?
26:02He told me what you said.
26:04Back then, when you first met him, that you forbade him from dating me.
26:09That's a deep cut.
26:11Do you want to tell me why?
26:13Come on, Eve, we both know why.
26:14No, I really don't.
26:15I think I might need to hear you say it.
26:18All right.
26:21I see it.
26:24You're both smart, sensitive, like-minded people in a vacuum.
26:31If the rest of the world doesn't exist, you're the perfect interracial cannon bar.
26:38But because the world should be-
26:40Not the world.
26:41It's family.
26:43No, you don't know anything about his family.
26:45Hennessy's are old money, bone deep entitlement.
26:49They think, uh, accountability's a myth.
26:52Ethics are a joke.
26:53Who do you think pulled the strings to get David arrested?
26:56That is a classic Hennessy move right there.
26:59Closing ranks to protect their own.
27:01No, you sound ridiculous right now.
27:04Robert did not kill Nancy.
27:06She had a lover.
27:08His name was David.
27:09And David killed her.
27:10So maybe Robert found out about David.
27:13He didn't know about David.
27:14He didn't even know about the affair until I told him.
27:16And by the time I told him, Nancy was already dead.
27:19Wait a second, you-
27:22You told Robert that his wife was stepping out on him?
27:27Yes.
27:28Because he was worried he was gonna call the police,
27:31and I wanted to help.
27:32It seems like all you do lately is help Robert.
27:38He wanted to be his backup plan.
27:40You have no idea what you are talking about.
27:44Oh, no?
27:45No.
27:58I can't believe mommy went to jail.
28:00I didn't.
28:01I was practicing civil disobedience, which we all have a right to do.
28:09But I'm sorry that I scared you guys.
28:11I wasn't scared.
28:12Oh, okay.
28:13Dad was.
28:19Hey, I'm still working on that.
28:21I think we're done here.
28:22That is unless anyone wants to help me clean up.
28:24Not it.
28:25Not it.
28:25Hey, hey.
28:26No, no, no.
28:26Get, Junie, get back here.
28:28I'll help.
28:29I'll help.
28:32They were scared.
28:34They don't want to say it, but they were.
28:35You just left with no explanation, and then we get a call from the cops?
28:42I know she meant a lot to you, but so does your family.
28:48They, they're still here.
28:50They need you.
28:51We need you.
28:52I don't know how to, I don't know how to let it go, okay?
28:58Thank you, Eleanor, for the help and the noodles.
29:03No problem.
29:17He has a right to be concerned.
29:19I know, I know.
29:20Um, okay, so I need you to keep an open mind.
29:26About what?
29:27I found an address for David.
29:32No.
29:33Aren't you sick of them thinking that we don't deserve answers because we're just her friends?
29:39Of course I am.
29:39He painted her.
29:40He, he partied with her.
29:42He may know something about what happened.
29:45We can't just interfere with the investigation.
29:51She doesn't talk back.
29:53Who?
29:56There's this grief counselor on YouTube.
30:01And she suggests that you talk to your deceased loved ones.
30:07So I've been trying that.
30:09You know, when people aren't in the house or asleep so they don't think I'm crazy.
30:15And I just talk to her.
30:17I tell her, you know, how Artie just lost another tooth and how Howard may have a lead on a
30:23new job.
30:24And she doesn't answer.
30:33She doesn't talk back.
30:39And I have so many questions.
30:42Please help.
30:54Hello?
30:55Leave me the hell alone!
30:57Sir, we're not reporters.
30:59We're not police officers.
31:01We're friends of Nancy.
31:03We just want to talk.
31:05Go away!
31:07No!
31:07We will not go away!
31:11Let us in!
31:12Please, Mary!
31:14Are you out of your fucking mind?
31:16Please.
31:17She was our friend.
31:20Please.
31:54She saw my work at the collectors and reached out.
31:58I thought she was one of those white women who, no offense, wanted me to paint what they think is
32:04their true authentic self.
32:06But after a few sketches, it was clear that she was someone different.
32:10She wanted me to paint the scars.
32:12She said they were from an accident that she caused.
32:15She said the scars were her fault?
32:18They most definitely were not her fault.
32:19David, from the photo, it seemed like you two knew each other so well.
32:25I don't even remember that picture.
32:28She was barely at the party.
32:30I think the guy she brought wasn't having a good time.
32:32What?
32:33What do you mean, the guy that she brought?
32:34David, do you remember what he looked like?
32:37He was white.
32:39Do you think she could have been with Robert?
32:41No.
32:42No, he had never seen that photo.
32:45Can you look at this?
32:47He would have told me.
32:48Can you look at this photo for me?
32:50Do you recognize this man?
32:52If I remembered anything more than his race, I would have said so.
32:55I told the police it's on them.
32:57You barely look at the photo.
32:58No, you've asked your last question.
32:59I was put in jail.
33:02And for what?
33:04I did nothing.
33:05Nothing.
33:06Okay.
33:07We've taken enough of your time.
33:15Where were you?
33:17Excuse me?
33:19Your best friend was in a death spiral.
33:22She was drowning in her own misery.
33:24That's what I saw.
33:26That's what I painted.
33:27So where were you when she needed you the most?
33:30She wasn't hiding it.
33:31If you didn't see it, it's because you didn't want to.
33:36Come on.
33:37Come on, let's go.
33:42I'd like the centerpieces to be a bit more consistent.
33:45And I'd like three people at every corner.
33:47I don't want a bomb on that.
33:48It's not the entire time.
33:49Okay?
33:50Your fault.
33:52You didn't offer to kill me.
33:53I told you.
33:54Over and over.
34:04Hey, everything okay?
34:06Despite my strong objection, my family went ahead and hired that crisis PR firm to pressure the police.
34:12They're the ones who leaked that photo.
34:14Can you fucking believe it?
34:16They're the reason David Boyette was arrested, my family.
34:20That's disgusting.
34:21I thought it would help keep the press off of us.
34:25Apparently, who gives a fuck if an innocent man has to sit behind bars for weeks?
34:31And you've never met him, right?
34:35I've never met who?
34:36David.
34:37I mean, the first time you saw him was on the news.
34:40Eleanor, you were here.
34:42We saw him together.
34:43What are you getting at?
34:44I'm, no, I'm not getting at anything.
34:46I, I just know what it means to be from a powerful family.
34:53Sometimes you can't see how they're pulling the strings.
34:56Well, did you manage to make your own way in the world?
35:01You think?
35:02Yeah.
35:04I constantly feel them looking over my shoulder.
35:10Yeah, but you do the things that matter to you.
35:14I, I admire that.
35:17Always have.
35:20Dad?
35:22Dad!
35:26Hey.
35:27Why are Mom's things boxed up?
35:29I was, I was just organizing.
35:31You, you can't get rid of them.
35:33Cora, that's not what this is.
35:35You have to understand, it's very difficult for me to have her things all around.
35:38So what, you're just gonna erase her?
35:42No.
35:43No, he can't do that.
35:44That's impossible, Cora.
35:46This is all I have.
35:47What's in these boxes is all I have left of my mom.
35:51I understand, sweetie.
35:52Cora, come here.
36:02You know, my car belonged to my dad before he passed.
36:09And he gave me this necklace.
36:13And I even have a fishing rod of his hanging on the wall in my apartment.
36:17Because I want to feel his presence, so I keep all of those things really close to me.
36:24So you can do that.
36:26You can look at all of this stuff, and just whatever reminds you of her, you take that, you keep
36:32it close to you.
36:34And the rest of it, we will make sure to put somewhere very special.
36:40Like, maybe the Ojai house.
36:43That way, you can go there whenever you want to feel her presence.
36:48Okay.
36:51You don't have to let go of your mom.
36:54Your dad would never ask you to do that.
37:11Hey, thanks.
37:19I'll blame her for calling it off.
37:22Just probably have more fun back at school anyway.
37:27I really fucked up this birthday.
37:29I'm the one who insisted that you throw her a party.
37:32You've done nothing but help.
37:34I think Cora just needs some time.
37:37It's so unnatural.
37:39You know, nobody prepares a kid to lose a parent.
37:41No one prepared us.
37:45You know, part of me was relieved when the police came and took her things.
37:50I don't want to erase her, but
37:52everywhere I look is something of hers just shouting at me about this secret life that she had.
37:58The fucking affair that she kept from me.
38:02It's deafening.
38:04It's all around.
38:09Well, I think that the Ojai house is going to be the perfect place for all this stuff.
38:14Yeah.
38:16It's going to be hard to go out there alone.
38:39It's pretty hard to do.
38:44I think it's fine.
38:46It's the only way to do a kid in the middle of the day.
38:48What am I supposed to do when I am just a child, acting tough, I'm a wish with no luck,
38:58I've been trying to find a way but I get stuck, you're irreplaceable, there's only one of you, I don't
39:10understand how the world can move when it's missing you.
39:18Something must be wrong when life goes on, with or without you, with or without you, with or without you,
39:30with or without you.
40:05She used that on every person in my family, everyone hated it, nothing made her laugh harder.
40:11Every time she used it, she would laugh for hours.
40:33I didn't know how much pain she was in.
40:37How could I have not seen what she was going through?
40:42None of us did.
40:45I missed it, I just, I just missed it.
40:51Hey, it's okay, so did I.
40:54Oh God.
40:55God.
41:02God.
41:07No.
41:08God.
41:18Come on.
41:58Come on.
42:11Come on.
42:49Come on.
42:58Come on.
43:03Come on.
43:09Come on.
43:15Come on.
43:16Come on.
43:51Come on.
43:52Come on.
44:25Come on.
44:40Come on.
44:43Come on.
45:02Come on.
45:24Come on.
45:32Come on.
45:35Come on.
45:47Come on.
45:54Come on.
46:03Come on.
46:07Come on.
46:09What is real? What is true? Who am I? Who are you? Secret. Secret.
46:39Secret.
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