00:00...you'll live again in your life, even if you don't know who I am.
00:03In the beginning, I started a shower curtain company, making asbestos-laden shower curtains for the military.
00:09But I kept dreaming bigger and better.
00:12And you know what? That dreaming became doing.
00:15Lots of doing.
00:17Which brought you here.
00:19You're riding into the little Michigan town of...
00:22Uh, wait, wait.
00:24Where are we again?
00:25Uh, sir, you've been given a name.
00:27Uh-huh.
00:28You only just killed it.
00:29Okay, so, this town doesn't have a name yet, as we're the ones who built it, but that doesn't matter.
00:36Point is, you're riding there, and you'll soon be Aperture Science Innovators.
00:44We're still getting some of this stuff together, but there's a lot of science we can do in the meantime.
00:48You've been selected from a large group of candidates for a special test in our temporary testing areas.
00:54When the trader arrives at the station, head into the town and into the Aperture building.
00:58Don't worry, you'll know where it is.
01:00You'll get some more pre-recorded messages once you're there.
01:03Now, get ready to do some science.
01:06For now, we're going to put on some nice music for you.
01:08Enjoy the ride.
01:37All right.
01:38You're now arriving at Aperture Central Station.
01:42Wait.
01:43Chris, get out of here.
01:46How do you spell station?
01:47Okay.
01:48Think about that for a second.
01:50Okay.
01:51Does station have an extra O before the I?
01:54All right.
01:55Listen to me.
01:56Pack your things.
01:57Why?
01:58Because you're fired.
01:59No.
02:00Get out of my office.
02:02Out.
02:02Get out.
02:03Out of my office.
02:05Mm-hmm.
02:07Uh-oh.
02:08I can't re-record this.
02:09Mm-hmm.
02:25Now, as I said before, there's a lot we're still working on.
02:28Just watch your step on the way out, and as a reminder, Aperture Science Innovators is
02:33not responsible for any injury you sustain, up to and including death by exposure to cosmic
02:39rays fallation.
02:40Don't worry, though.
02:41We haven't had an accident like that in three days.
02:45Oh.
02:46Sorry.
02:47Make that three minutes.
02:49Here at Aperture Science Innovators, we love to give back to the community.
02:53So, instead of just giving back, we made our own community.
02:57Entirely made out of Aperture Science malleable concrete, on top of the salt mines.
03:01And that's exactly why you shouldn't touch the walls or stomp your feet, either.
03:06Last thing we need is to touch up a dent in the wall because someone was too hands-on.
03:26I told you it was easy to find.
03:27You found it faster than, uh, any test subjects on record.
03:33Ah, that's not good.
03:34Anyway, just head through the door on the right to the elevator.
03:38You all know where to go.
04:09So, at first, I wanted to put in a long flight of stairs
04:12that spiraled down through the old salt mines down here.
04:15Give the test subjects a great view of the place.
04:17But no!
04:18The zoning boards on my bean counters said that's why they invented elevators.
04:22So, I was someone in a wheelchair friend, Sue.
04:24My former boys, G and Al to me, built this elevator to go to our temporary offices.
04:29I'm still working on those stairs.
04:31And those guys are working on getting new jobs.
04:33Ha ha.
04:35Seriously though, the stairs aren't ready, so get on that stupid elevator.
05:00Here at Aperture, we're always trying to push the boundaries of science that little bit more.
05:05That's why we're taking on this new project.
05:07When the bean counters told me not to buy a salt mine to do all this science,
05:10the first thing they said was,
05:12No, there's too much space.
05:14You can't suspend something over nothing and pray that a test could happen in thin air.
05:18Well, thanks to some use of the old calculator between the ears
05:21and a generous helping of the You're Fired stamp,
05:24I came up with a final solution to that.
05:27If you can't anchor something in thin air,
05:29why bother trying to make it in the air in the first place?
05:31I came up with this.
05:38Introducing the Aperture Science Innovator's Suspended Testing Sphere.
05:43Each sphere is suspended in the air,
05:45anchored to the walls by concrete and steel lattice rebar.
05:48They seem like they float in the air, but in fact, they don't.
05:52Plus, we can keep building above them, onward and upward.
05:55This salt mine here can take at least 10 of these bad boys per shaft.
06:009 shafts, 90 tests.
06:02We can test whatever we want to,
06:04and beat that other company into the ground.
06:07Black Mason.
06:08Those guys can kiss my...
06:10Sir, that's being recorded.
06:12Anyway,
06:13the bean counters cried like babies when they saw the cost of these things,
06:16but they wet their pants when they threw them out the door.
06:18I pay the bills,
06:19I make the decisions around here,
06:20and I hire and fire as I please.
06:22Please, please, please, please.
06:23Now, the first of these spheres won't be ready for a few more months,
06:27so you'll be participating in one of our smaller tests,
06:30the Aperture Science Innovator's Short-Term Relaxation Vault.
06:33The Aperture Science Innovator's Short-Term Relaxation Vault.
07:11When you get to the offices, I'll tell you a bit more.
07:14This test should be real easy for you though.
07:16Just get inside one of the Aperture Science Innovator's short-term relaxation vaults and
07:20lie in a bed.
07:21You'll feel yourself fall asleep quickly.
07:24Don't worry though, our science boys will get you out shortly.
07:26You'll only be out for a few minutes, uh, an hour at most.
07:44So, as I said on the last pre-recorded message, you'll be heading to an Aperture Science Innovator's
07:49short-term relaxation vault for a quick deep sleep, and then you're done.
07:54That's why we brought you here at night.
07:56You're most likely a walking zombie.
07:58That'll give us the best results.
08:00But just remember, don't sleep too long.
08:02This isn't a bed and breakfast.
08:03And if you decide to stay in the night, I'm charging you rent for the next year.
08:06We'll have a bed ready for you.
08:07Just follow the testing area's signs and go to bed.
08:10Don't mind the turrets.
08:12They're firing blanks.
08:13At least that's what Crazy Harry told me.
08:16That's six signs, boys.
08:17Disappear, Kazoon.
08:32How old are you?
08:33Let's go.
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16:33Let's go.
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