00:08Welcome to Just The Facts with J. Jonah Jameson, the only show willing to drop truth bombs on our so
00:15-called hero, Spider-Man.
00:18On the phone we have...
00:19Your friendly neighborhood anonymous citizen.
00:22Okay, citizen, tell me, have you noticed the insane uptick in crime since Spider-Man entered the picture?
00:28Why, my sources confirmed that just yesterday there was a store robbery, a shootout, and a runaway vehicle all in
00:35the same day.
00:37And what do you think they all had in common? That medicine-type's Spider-Man.
00:41Hi, fellas.
00:42Well, did you think that maybe he was trying to help? It feels like there's more and more crime every
00:47day.
00:47I'll say, and it's all because Spider-Man thinks he's some kind of spider cop.
00:52You know what cops don't do? Escalate things.
00:54But no, not Spider-Man. He runs around causing chaos, wearing a mask and a costume to feed his gigantic,
01:02insatiable ego.
01:04In fact, he's been seen wearing several. Pick a look.
01:07Maybe each suit serves a different purpose.
01:10Oh, what? Like granting him obnoxious sonic powers, web spray, holographic duplicates?
01:16Give me a break.
01:18Listen, citizen. The police play by the hook. Spider-Man, he plays by his own rules.
01:23Hey, where are you going?
01:26Sources tell me that he's running around town using unsanctioned experimental gadgets like tripmines, spider drones, and something called a
01:35web bomb.
01:36Where does he even get the stuff?
01:39Maybe he makes them himself.
01:41Ha! Spider-Man, the genius scientist. That'll be the day.
01:46My point is that the fine men and women of our police force understand that crime can be resolved without
01:52constant mayhem.
01:54Sometimes a discreet approach yields better results. And by that, I mean not putting citizens in harm's way.
02:01Yeah, but I doubt that's what he's trying to do.
02:03I mean...
02:05I gotta go.
02:06Call her. Call her.
02:08Apparently, he had somewhere better to be.
02:11Hey, big guy.
02:11Jameson out!
Commenti