She Survived The Abuse In Her Amish Community

Unfiltered Stories

Today in Unfiltered Stories, our guest Lizzie Hershberger bravely shares her story. Born into the Swartzentruber Amish community in Minnesota, Lizzie was unaware of any other way of life. Her early years were marked by severe challenges, including surviving abuse within the community. Despite the isolation, Lizzie's resilience shone through as she documented her experiences in a journal. This act of bravery helped her come forward and report her abuser, who was ultimately charged. Join us to hear how Lizzie has worked to heal and build a new path forward.   #survivorstories #trauma #healingjourney    Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.   Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.  By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.    🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅  Facebook ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB  Tiktok ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT  Snapchat ➮ https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN

Transcript

00:00Hi, I'm Lizzie Hershberger. I grew up in an Amish community and I have wrote a book and I have

00:07survived many kinds of abuse and here I am today. I was born into the Schwarzenegger Amish. My mother actually

00:15had left the Amish community for a short period of time and she got pregnant with me. She went back

00:21to the community and so I grew up my entire life in an Amish community in Minnesota and I was

00:29so sheltered.

00:30So as I was growing up, I had a mom and a dad and I was the oldest sibling and

00:37we actually lived right next door to my grandparents. They had about 15 to 20 cows and we would milk

00:45the cows by hand and then we would put it into these cans and then we would pump water to

00:53cool the milk off before the milkman came.

00:57The milkman came every morning and he would pick up the milk and that's the way many, many Amish in

01:05my community made a living. What I knew growing up was, you know, I just, I just worked. I worked

01:12my entire childhood. That's all we ever did.

01:15The only day we didn't work was Sundays. Technically, I always say this, the women did not get Sundays off.

01:22We still cooked three meals a day. We still prepared food. We still prepared if we were getting company or

01:30if we had church at our home.

01:31So unfortunately, I don't have a starting date of when I was abused because I believe it happened before I

01:40have memory. So I have no memory of never being abused by my uncles.

01:45And as I got older, it did eventually end. I had a couple little cousins that unfortunately died in a

01:53fire and it ended because both my uncles got married and then 14 year old girl. That's when I got,

02:01you know, it's a whole process of getting groomed and everything.

02:04And I eventually got raped multiple, multiple times. And it did end up in court, um, uh, some almost 30

02:13years later, but I had diaries that I could turn over to the law enforcement and they could actually look

02:19at it.

02:19But as a young child, I was groomed. That's what happened in our community. I hate to say this, but

02:27every community has their own kind of issues. And my community, everybody, to my knowledge, raped their hired girls.

02:36And that the hired girls are the ones. I was a hired girl. Um, my, um, user that got sentenced,

02:43he had four children. He was married, but that's what happened. I could tell you over 50 people in my

02:50community that has a story of being a hired girl and getting raped.

02:54I don't have a memory of exactly when it started. I have a memory of when it ended, but, um,

03:01you know, I can just point out one of the incidents. Um, my grandparents lived right next to us and

03:07my uncle, one of my uncles would ask me to come down and join him in the horse barn. He

03:13would, uh, grope me.

03:14There was a name for a radio, which was called, uh, the Mahler duck and the radio member. We had

03:21no modern conveniences, but back in those days, you would have a radio. You could put some batteries in. So

03:27he would entice me with, if you let me do this to you, I will let you listen to the

03:33radio, which was the Mahler duck.

03:35Just go on from there. It was always just the touching and the, you know, doing things to me, but

03:42it was always rewarded with, if you don't tell, then I'm going to let you listen to the Mahler duck.

03:47And the crazy thing is, um, that I will add to this is actually to this day, my uncle has

03:53never been charged because he denied what he did. He knows what he did. If he were to listen to

03:58this and say that the Mahler duck, he knows what the Mahler duck, I mean, he enticed me with that.

04:04That was the Mahler duck with the radio. I've never heard of it being used before, but then as I

04:09got older, I got to the age of about nine. Then unfortunately my little cousins died in the house fire.

04:18And, um, right after that, I had two uncles. They both got married to sisters actually. And, um, so it

04:27ended. So I thought, Oh my goodness, you know, just my life is fine now.

04:31But then unfortunately, um, when I turned 14 is when I went and worked for my neighbors who were friends

04:38of my mom and dad's. And it was a married guy hindsight. Now I was being groomed. I mean, he

04:44started doing all kinds of things. And about six months later, I got raped.

04:50raped and it happened over and over. And people often ask me or tell me you can't be raped that

04:59many times, but yes, you can because you've already been groomed. And I'm 14 years old. The married guy was

05:0628 years old and a member of the church.

05:09And my entire life I was taught to listen to elders and obey to what they say you should do.

05:19So I did that. I just did what he told me to do. When I graduated from Amish school, eighth

05:25grade, I went to work for my neighbors. Um, I was 14 years old and he groomed me, um, for

05:33a period of months. And eventually, um, he raped me multiple times over a period of months.

05:39It didn't even ever occur to me to share it with my mom or authorities or anybody because I was

05:47taught to listen to your elders and listen to who you're working for. So that's what I did.

05:53The unfortunate effects from the trauma that I experienced from being raped. Um, then I became very promiscuous and, um,

06:02I eventually got, um, my mom kicked me out of basically our home, had me live outside of the community.

06:10But everything was my fault because see, I, as the 14 year old must have enticed this married man to

06:19cause this sort of, you know, episode. And that's what they called it. It was all my fault. So I

06:25left the community and, you know, people called me all kinds of names and, and, and, and they still call

06:31me that to this day.

06:32Because I became a promiscuous teenager. Therefore I must have been enticing this married man. Remember he was 28 and

06:42I was 14 to do this to me.

06:44I was never taken to the police. I was never taken to, you know, have a rape kit done or

06:50nothing.

06:50Actually what my mom did, she took me to this facility that dealt with people that had trauma, which was

06:57not even trauma.

06:59You know, in my mom's defense, um, my mom at age, you know, I was 14 still almost 15. She

07:07just didn't, I don't know if she didn't know how to handle it.

07:10And obviously she didn't take me to the police, but, um, she had me leave and she sent me with,

07:17um, some relatives that lived in another state.

07:20And then six months later, you know, I came back and the community pretended like I had never left and

07:28just acted like, oh, she's back.

07:30You know, like I was at some treatment center and I did, I really did think I was going to

07:35be an Amish, you know, get married Amish.

07:37And I joined the Amish young folks. I started attending communion services to get baptized and actually became an Amish

07:45teacher.

07:45And I loved it. I absolutely loved it. But then one day my sister said, I'm, I'm leaving. She said,

07:52I can't stay Amish.

07:53And she was 16 and I was 17 at that time. And I left with her. And that's what we

07:57did.

07:58It's very difficult for me to actually talk about the emotions and the things that I went through.

08:03The rapes and the abuse was horrible. It was absolutely horrible.

08:07But the community shunning me and ridiculing me and telling me how I was the person that enticed this and

08:17how they turned their back on me.

08:18They told me all kinds of bad things. I think that is still the worst part of it all.

08:25No community member ever came to me and said, my goodness, I am so sorry what happened to you.

08:31All they did is turn their back on me and said that I enticed him. I was 14 years old.

08:38I didn't entice him.

08:39I don't care what I would have done. I did not entice him. He's a growing man. He needs to

08:46stand responsible, including my uncles.

08:49My uncles were adults. I was a little child.

08:52I think one of the things is that I still live by the community and I still see these things

08:57happening.

08:58I often get brought in as consulting services.

09:02And I think if you if the Amish community in itself would just come forward and say, you know what,

09:10we have some problems here.

09:11Let's try to fix it. But no, they blame the victims and the survivors for enticing these adult men to

09:20do these things.

09:20It's not a child's fault or a teenager's. My goodness.

09:24So, yes, eventually when I did leave for the second time with my sister, it was a process.

09:31Like I remember the first time we put makeup on or we went to some festival like it took years.

09:37Like you didn't just leave the community and leave everything behind.

09:42Like it took years to feel free. You know, even to this day, there's still certain times when I'm around

09:51certain people from that community.

09:53I can feel myself getting I don't know the correct words for it, but I can feel myself gravitating back

10:00to that because that's all I ever knew.

10:03That's that's what I knew. I knew that they would say, if you ever leave this community, you know, you're

10:10going straight to hell and you should never talk about anything that happens there.

10:15Well, I talk about it all the time. And so I get so much backlash and the biggest backlash I

10:23always tell people is not even from the people that are still in the community.

10:27It's from the other former Amish that are that have left. And they tell me you can't you can't talk

10:33about that stuff because they choose not to talk about that.

10:37They choose not to report it. They choose. I know lots and lots and lots of former Amish from my

10:44community, from multiple communities who would never have went to the police, never reported their case.

10:50They will never write a book. They will never write a story because they're still attached to that.

10:56And they still have not adjusted to the fact that the only way you will heal, you have to share.

11:03I unfortunately was in a very, very bad ATV accident and I got laid up for many, many, many months.

11:11And I had started writing and my initial seven years ago, I actually started writing and I just was planning

11:20to just journal.

11:21I've journaled my entire life. So I started writing and I started writing and I started writing.

11:27Then I actually decided to join this group and I became a co-founder of a Voices of Hope group.

11:36And what we encourage people is to share your story. So I was writing away and all of a sudden

11:42I was at this conference and I was like, you know, this is crazy.

11:47I am writing my story. I am doing all these things and I'm telling everybody else what to do, but

11:52I've never went to the police and just reported what happened to me.

11:56I made an appointment with the local police and I said, you know, this is, I just want to share

12:01my story.

12:02I said, no, I don't, I don't know what's going to happen. And he said, over 20 years that I've

12:07lived in this community, nobody has ever come forward and shared their story.

12:12And I thought, Oh my goodness, this is crazy. Cause I knew all these other stories. So anyways, then I

12:17kept writing and writing.

12:19Eventually I got in contact with somebody and they're like, you know what, this book could really, you know, instead

12:25of writing it about, um, cause my purpose was to write to fight my biological dad.

12:31And they said, no, no, you need to write it. You know, like you could really influence. And then same

12:37time, then, um, my abuser, one of my abusers, not my uncles.

12:41He got charged in Filmer County, Minnesota. You can look up the documents. He got charged. He took a plea

12:48offer.

12:48And the reason that he got charged is because I had these diaries from when I was a young Amish

12:55teenager. And I could verify I had scribbled in like on the dates.

13:00So in my diary, I had actually made distinguished red marks, red circles. I knew what it meant.

13:07I had not looked at it in about 25 years, but when I had went in and reported my case,

13:12I went back and found my diary and I was like, this is what I had done.

13:16So that's how I could distinguish on how many times it was. But unfortunately, that's where I've gotten ridiculed so

13:24much on is that it was over 25 times that I was raped.

13:30Then the community said, well, you can't get raped that many times. I have documents out there. Like you can't,

13:37that can't happen.

13:39But what they don't understand is the grooming process and the whole, you know, just remember I was 14, he

13:45was 28.

13:45So seven years ago I started writing and I think just the process of coming forward and sharing my story.

13:54Then I put everything together in a book and I published it. And this is three years later. The book

14:02is on Amazon.

14:03You can find it. And it has a lot of my childhood, my certain things that happened, but it has

14:09a lot of details about my diary, my, you know, just my life story is in the book.

14:15Yeah. So the process of coming forward and reporting my abuser and he got charged. I did eventually publish my

14:23book.

14:24My book was more to share my whole story and it talks about my uncles.

14:31My uncles were not charged in any way because of the statute of limitations and they also denied it, but

14:38they still live in the community.

14:40I have a whole section in my book talking about the whole case, but I really encourage everybody to read

14:46it.

14:46And three years later, my book sells on Amazon extremely well. It's an audible, Kindle, all kinds of versions through

14:54the writing of my book and sharing it.

14:56That's how I really got into the advocacy work. I was encouraged through my community and my mother to keep

15:05a journal, to keep a daily log.

15:08That's how my abuser got sentenced. I mean, he really did.

15:11When he finally got confronted by the sheriff in our local community, he did, he confessed, he owned up to

15:20what he did and he actually admitted.

15:23It's an audio that most likely everything that I stated is probably true because I do have it on diaries

15:33in my journals.

15:34So going through everything, I decided to go ahead and publish my book. It's called Behind Blue Curtains.

15:41And to my knowledge, I am the only former Amish that testifies as an expert witness.

15:47Often many other people can testify on behalf of the Amish, but nobody is an actual former expert on the

15:58Amish.

15:58I just want people to know that Amish are just their people.

16:03There's great, wonderful Amish people, but they're just like everybody else.

16:08There are some bad apples in there. And please just treat them like everybody else.

16:14Don't give them Amish perks. That's what I call them, Amish privileges.

16:17Just treat them like everybody else. If you see something, say something.

16:23Don't, oh, they're Amish, so let's not. No, they govern themselves. No, report them.

16:30Do a welfare check. Do everything that you would if it was a non-Amish person.

16:35I encourage other survivors of any kind of abuse, whether you come from the Amish or Plain.

16:41Find somebody that you can talk to. Find somebody, a counselor or a therapist, or reach out to an advocate.

16:48Reach out to somebody that can just listen to your story. It doesn't mean you have to publish a book.

16:55But just reach out to somebody and tell them your story. And you will find so much healing and sharing.

17:03Don't keep your abusers secret.

17:06I would just encourage anybody coming from whatever religious organization you come from.

17:14If you have experienced something that you don't quite understand or it feels uncomfortable,

17:19please just share with somebody. Share your story. Share something. Talk to somebody.

17:26Your show will have the links below. Just share that there's so many people that could, you know, like come

17:34around and support you and will understand you.

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