- 1 day ago
First broadcast 16th December 1975.
An irreverent barrister chooses to defend a young Jamaican boy accused of stabbing on the same day his only son leaves for college in America.
Leo McKern - Horace Rumpole
Joyce Heron - Hilda Rumpole
Noel Willman - Mr. Justice Bates
David Yelland - Nick Rumpole
Herbert Norville - Ossie Gladstone - The Defendant
Artro Morris - Mr. Winter
George Sweeney - Jo
John Byron - George
Vernon Dobtcheff - Magnus Piecan
Edwin Brown - Detective Inspector Arthur
Paul Greenhalgh - Rev. Eldred Pickersgill
Peter Spraggon - Prison Officer
Tommy Wright - Man in Cell
Sarah Thomas - Grace
Eric Hillyard - Court Usher
Olga Lowe - Barmaid/Waitress
Richard Wardale - Young Barrister
John Beardmore - Court Clerk
Douglas Auchterlonie - Jury
Jonathan Keays - Jury
Doris Kitts - Jury
Fran Pomeroy - Jury
Lionel Wheeler - Jury
Martin Kemp - Lad
An irreverent barrister chooses to defend a young Jamaican boy accused of stabbing on the same day his only son leaves for college in America.
Leo McKern - Horace Rumpole
Joyce Heron - Hilda Rumpole
Noel Willman - Mr. Justice Bates
David Yelland - Nick Rumpole
Herbert Norville - Ossie Gladstone - The Defendant
Artro Morris - Mr. Winter
George Sweeney - Jo
John Byron - George
Vernon Dobtcheff - Magnus Piecan
Edwin Brown - Detective Inspector Arthur
Paul Greenhalgh - Rev. Eldred Pickersgill
Peter Spraggon - Prison Officer
Tommy Wright - Man in Cell
Sarah Thomas - Grace
Eric Hillyard - Court Usher
Olga Lowe - Barmaid/Waitress
Richard Wardale - Young Barrister
John Beardmore - Court Clerk
Douglas Auchterlonie - Jury
Jonathan Keays - Jury
Doris Kitts - Jury
Fran Pomeroy - Jury
Lionel Wheeler - Jury
Martin Kemp - Lad
Category
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TVTranscript
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00:01:13There was a boy.
00:01:16He knew him well, the cliffs and islands of Winanda.
00:01:22There, many a time at evening, when the earliest stars began, would he stand alone beneath the trees or by
00:01:32the glimmering lake.
00:01:33The rumble?
00:01:34And there, with fingers interwoven, both hands uplifted, he as threw an instrument, blew mimic hootings to the silent owls,
00:01:47that they might answer him.
00:01:49Horace!
00:01:50Bloody woman, interrupting my word, what?
00:01:53What did you say?
00:01:55I said, coming, oh master of the blue horizons, she who must be obeyed.
00:02:02Rum?
00:02:03And they would shout across the watery bale with quivering peals and long halloos and screams.
00:02:13Where are you going today?
00:02:15Down the old Bailey.
00:02:16You've forgotten Nick.
00:02:17Where else do I ever go but down the old Bailey?
00:02:20It's Nick's last day in England.
00:02:22When are you going to say goodbye to your son?
00:02:24Nick's coming home from Oxford.
00:02:26I suppose you've forgotten.
00:02:27I am meeting him at 12 o'clock at the army and navy stores.
00:02:32I'll buy him a new overcoat for America and then we'll have a good lunch.
00:02:37Steak and kidney pudd, I imagine.
00:02:39Something of that nature.
00:02:41Then I have to get back to a conference at 4.30.
00:02:44So you'll have him to tea and then he's off to the airport.
00:02:4612 o'clock.
00:02:48How can you meet him at 12 o'clock?
00:02:50You'll be in the old Bailey.
00:02:51Oh, my guess I'll be over in a twinkling.
00:02:54It's only a shorty open and shut affair.
00:02:55The old darling will have to plead guilty.
00:02:58Nick does not want to go to the army and navy.
00:03:01On earth not.
00:03:02He needs a warm topcoat for America.
00:03:05I don't see why you have to go down to the old Bailey at all on Nick's last day.
00:03:08They say that crime doesn't pay.
00:03:11But it's a living, you know.
00:03:13Oh, yes, it's a living.
00:03:15Now, you think of it sometimes, old dear.
00:03:18That nice breakfast egg of yours.
00:03:20It could be a tiny part of the proceeds of an unlawful carnal knowledge.
00:03:24Oh, it's ridiculous.
00:03:27You do say such silly things.
00:03:30When you think of those barristers in Parliament,
00:03:33eking out their stipend with a nice long firm fraud or a rape or two,
00:03:39you've got to admit it.
00:03:40If it weren't for crime, the democratic process would grind to a halt.
00:03:44Well, I don't see why you can't take a day off to say goodbye to Nick.
00:03:48I've only got a shorty.
00:03:49It'll be over in 20 minutes.
00:03:50I don't need to take a day off.
00:03:52Like when he went back to school and you never got away to see him off at Waterloo.
00:03:57Occupied with some murder.
00:04:01Some triviality.
00:04:03Nick hardly knew he had a father.
00:04:05Nick rather liked my murders.
00:04:07When he was a boy, we used to discuss them in the bath.
00:04:10You're an old Bailey hack.
00:04:12That's what you are.
00:04:14I heard Ted Forsyke say that for the garden party.
00:04:16There goes Rumpel, they said.
00:04:17The old Bailey hack.
00:04:20I don't know what Ted Fortescue has got to boast about.
00:04:23Family law.
00:04:24Poor old darling.
00:04:25A lifetime spent up to the years in adultery.
00:04:29Well, I've managed to avoid that at least.
00:04:31Thank God.
00:04:32The old Bailey hack.
00:04:46Hack?
00:04:47Not exactly a hack.
00:04:49Been at it for longer than you can remember, Rumpel has.
00:04:53No flies on Rumpel.
00:04:55Cut his teeth on the Rex versus Magwitch and the Pinch bungalow murders.
00:05:01I could win most of my cases if it weren't for the clients.
00:05:04Clients have no tact.
00:05:06Poor old darlings.
00:05:07No bloody sensitivity.
00:05:09They will waltz into the witness box and blurt out
00:05:13Things that are far better left unblurted.
00:05:19You know what the old Bailey blunts?
00:05:22It blunts the sensitivity.
00:05:27I suppose when I was young, if I can remember,
00:05:30I used to suffer with them.
00:05:33I used to cringe and suffer when I heard the sentences
00:05:37And go down to the cells, full of anger.
00:05:41Now, I hardly listen to the years pronounced
00:05:43And I never look back at the dock.
00:05:45I never watch their faces when sentence is past.
00:05:56And what they got in for, you reckon?
00:05:59What are you here for?
00:06:01Stealing off the melon patch?
00:06:03No.
00:06:04Attempted murder.
00:06:06My brilliant client.
00:06:09They're absolutely brilliant clients, aren't they, George?
00:06:12George, I mean, he takes an antique dagger
00:06:16And he stabs a young man in the bus queue.
00:06:21Outside Lord's, four o'clock in the afternoon, I ask you.
00:06:25Well, I mean, if you must go in for that sort of thing,
00:06:28At least do it during the hours of darkness.
00:06:30And, if possible, not in the St. John's Wood Road.
00:06:34Who did he stab?
00:06:35Oh, a complete stranger.
00:06:37Someone who just felt like stabbing absolutely brilliant.
00:06:41My man decided to rob a dance hall on the night of the police ball.
00:06:45We only get the stupid villains, George.
00:06:48Why's that?
00:06:49Well, the bright ones are all on holiday in Mallorca.
00:06:51It'll be a plea, of course.
00:06:53Bates isn't too bad on a plea.
00:06:55It's when you fight, he gets sarcastic.
00:06:56It'll be all over in half an hour.
00:06:58I'm meeting my son, Nick, you know.
00:07:00He's off to America.
00:07:01You're proud of him, aren't you?
00:07:03Yeah.
00:07:04Three years doing politics and economics.
00:07:06Postgraduate, Princeton.
00:07:07He's got the brains of the family.
00:07:09You're proud of that, boy, Rumpel.
00:07:16That's it.
00:07:17What were they doing to you, sonny?
00:07:19Juvenile court?
00:07:21No, number one.
00:07:23That's where all those big cases go.
00:07:25Like me.
00:07:28Why did he stab him?
00:07:31Oh, you wouldn't expect him to have a reason, would you, George?
00:07:35I suppose he stabbed him because he was there.
00:07:37No, no, no.
00:07:39They should never have taken away our hanging.
00:07:41Oh, he didn't kill anyone.
00:07:43So brilliant.
00:07:45He even made a hash of the murder.
00:07:46Oh, murder trials nowadays are conducted in a holiday atmosphere.
00:07:49I went to number one court, the judge made a joke, and damn it all, there was laughter from the
00:07:54doc.
00:07:54Yeah.
00:07:55It didn't look well.
00:07:56It didn't look well at all.
00:07:58They should never have taken our hanging away from us.
00:08:01Don't you believe that, Rumpel?
00:08:03You know what I believe?
00:08:05I believe in mutual aid, universal tolerance, and the individual supreme.
00:08:12At heart, George, I've discovered I'm an anarchist.
00:08:14Man is born free, but is everywhere in chains.
00:08:18Oh, but even my darling Count Leo Tolstoy, even jolly old Jean-Jacques Rousseau, would have drawn the line of
00:08:25shoving a dagger into a complete stranger.
00:08:27In broad daylight, waiting outside Lord's number 13 bus.
00:08:32For a whim, wouldn't he, George?
00:08:37You see, Ginger Robertson got away.
00:08:39Everyone got away, except one little black boy.
00:08:43Surprise, surprise.
00:08:44Rumpel will crucify the police on this one.
00:08:47Crucify them?
00:08:47What for exactly, Mr. Winter?
00:08:49Racialism.
00:08:50He'll roast them alive like he did on the Penge Bungalow Murders.
00:08:53What was that, Mr. Winter?
00:08:55Before you were born, Joe.
00:08:57Before ever you were born, Rumpel was crucifying the police.
00:09:00I used to have breakfast.
00:09:01Oh, there he is.
00:09:02Ah!
00:09:03I used to have breakfast at a place in Ludgate Hill.
00:09:05Bacon and eggs and fat kidneys straight from Smithfield.
00:09:08Really? Where's that?
00:09:10It is now the Happy Burger Inn.
00:09:14How's the muscle man, Grace?
00:09:16Oh, building muscles.
00:09:18He's got them splitting the scenes of his snakeskin jacket.
00:09:21Drawback is it makes them so tired.
00:09:23You'd be better off with an old man without a muscle to his name.
00:09:26Have me a cheese sandwich, dear.
00:09:27Grace, I don't suppose you've got any kidneys, have you?
00:09:29Mr. Rumpel, things you come out with.
00:09:31Yeah.
00:09:32Coffee, both of you.
00:09:32Yes, please.
00:09:33Yeah, that's all.
00:09:34Oh, thank you.
00:09:35Have a go at the crossword.
00:09:36I'm sorry, George.
00:09:37My instructing solicitor.
00:09:38Oh, Mr. Winter.
00:09:39Don't you find him rather difficult?
00:09:41He's impossible.
00:09:42He firmly believes the customer is always right.
00:09:45James.
00:09:47Poor darling Mr. Winter can't tell a dodgy car salesman from the unknown political prisoner.
00:09:58Well, you'll have a bit of fun with this one, Mr. Rumpel.
00:10:03Fun, Mr. Winter?
00:10:05Do you call standing on your hind legs and pleading guilty for a Jamaican teenager who shoves a knife into
00:10:10the first person who crosses his path of fun?
00:10:14Now, what do I say to the judge?
00:10:16Now, what do I say to the judge?
00:10:41That's true.
00:10:42That's true.
00:10:43Just another boy with a dagger.
00:10:44A common sight, apparently, of St. John's Wood roundabout.
00:10:48Fingerprints all smeared.
00:10:50No bloodstains on his clothing.
00:10:51I wonder why they dragged us out of bed to come here at all.
00:10:54So, where's the prosecution case?
00:10:56Gone, Mr. Winter.
00:10:58Vanished into thin air.
00:11:00We'd get our costs from the police.
00:11:02A gold watch donated from the poor box.
00:11:04And have every inspector in court demoted to the rank of police constable.
00:11:08If it wasn't for one tiny triviality.
00:11:11What's that, Mr. Rumpel?
00:11:13Our brilliant client made a full frank and free confession to the police, signed and witnessed.
00:11:18A confession to the police?
00:11:20Detective Inspector Arthur of E-Division.
00:11:25Behold, a gentle fatherly man with a green finger for chrysanthemums.
00:11:31There's an article you might use in New Society.
00:11:34Use for what?
00:11:35The percentage of arrests of black teenagers in one square mile of London.
00:11:39The white boys got away.
00:11:41So did the rest of the black boys.
00:11:43There's an analysis in depth of racialism in the police.
00:11:47Quite obviously it's based on strong feelings of sexual jealousy.
00:11:50Morning, Mr. Rumpel.
00:11:51Nice to see you, Inspector.
00:11:53Croissants all right, are they?
00:11:54Managed her first at the division flower show anyway.
00:11:56Good.
00:11:57See you down there.
00:11:58Down there, yes.
00:11:59Good.
00:12:04Now what do you want me to do?
00:12:06Get him to admit he forged the confession in a blue fit of penis envy.
00:12:11Don't give the old sweetie on the bench a fit of the vapors.
00:12:14Well, you know best, Mr. Rumpel.
00:12:17Yes.
00:12:18Oh, we have one character witness.
00:12:20The vicar.
00:12:21Oh, he'll be a great help.
00:12:23The Reverend Eldred Pickersgill from the Sandingham Road Boys Club.
00:12:26The reckless use of an offensive weapon will be far outweighed
00:12:29by some clerk in early orders who says that our client's ping pong shows promise.
00:12:36Let's face the facts, Mr. Winter.
00:12:39He'll have to plead.
00:12:41I thought it might help us calling a vicar.
00:12:43You are found a member of the Beckenham Humanist Association.
00:12:47You fall back on a dog collar.
00:12:50Won't the judge like it?
00:12:52Nothing in flames a sentence so much as an over-eager cleric.
00:12:57That's my experience.
00:12:59Well, we'd better get down.
00:13:01There was a lot to be said for our client.
00:13:02Always.
00:13:03His mother put him in care when he was four.
00:13:05Yes, could you imagine?
00:13:06Taking a little kid to the Brixton Magistrates
00:13:08and handing him over as a menace to society.
00:13:10Can you imagine doing that?
00:13:13No.
00:13:14No, I can't.
00:13:16With all officers in charge of cases who have not yet reported,
00:13:20proceed to the police hall immediately.
00:13:24Good morning, Mr. Gladstone at home.
00:13:27I don't think he's gone out to lunch with the Lord Mayor.
00:13:31Counsel to see the Pickernilly.
00:13:32You know what the old Bailey blunts?
00:13:35It blunts the sensitivity.
00:13:44Good morning, Mr. Wintour.
00:13:46You may find him rather popular, Mr. Wintour.
00:13:48Hello?
00:13:50Hello?
00:13:55Who are you dead?
00:13:56Mr. Rumpole, your counsel.
00:13:58He's defending you.
00:13:59I don't need no brief.
00:14:00You don't think so?
00:14:01I told the Judge Ginger done him, didn't he?
00:14:04Ginger Robertson, one of the boys that went missing.
00:14:06That's our defence.
00:14:07If you can destroy the police.
00:14:09Ginger done him.
00:14:11How do you know that?
00:14:14Did you see him with the knife?
00:14:16After.
00:14:17I seen him with the cutter after.
00:14:19Ginger threw it away, didn't he?
00:14:20Well, you tell us, old dear.
00:14:23Did you know Ginger might use the dagger?
00:14:27Use it?
00:14:28Yes.
00:14:29Did you think Ginger might use the cutter?
00:14:32I tell you, Dad.
00:14:33I knew nothing about that.
00:14:36Got us in the big court, haven't they?
00:14:38Number one court.
00:14:39Oh, yes, Mr. Gladstone.
00:14:40You're a star.
00:14:45Why did Ginger do it?
00:14:46Why?
00:14:47A stabber man none of you knew, apparently.
00:14:51I guess Ginger couldn't find any MCC supporters.
00:14:54There was anti-coloured feeling on the ground.
00:14:57I told you, Mr. Rumpel, this case has political undertones.
00:14:59Yes, but this old deer in the busk, you hadn't been at the ground.
00:15:03I guess Ginger couldn't find any MCC supporters.
00:15:07That's how this fellow was deer like.
00:15:09So Ginger said, might as well cut him.
00:15:13Oh, dear me.
00:15:16Jolly old Jean-Jacques Rousseau.
00:15:18Here.
00:15:19Here.
00:15:20What's he on about?
00:15:20Mr. Rumpel's a very experienced counsel.
00:15:23If we can destroy the police officer...
00:15:26Oh, if, if, if.
00:15:27And if the judge turns out to be a Jamaican teenager with form, we might have a chance.
00:15:33Speaking of myself, I don't believe he meant to kill him.
00:15:36Ginger carried the knife, that's what he says.
00:15:37Well, Ginger formed the intention quite clearly.
00:15:40You see, Dad.
00:15:44You see, Dad.
00:15:46Ginger don't like all the trouble of carrying our knife.
00:15:48Unless he's gonna use it sometimes.
00:15:50Oh, they carry these knives to prove their virility.
00:15:53Oh, I'll tell the judge that.
00:15:55Well, in his day it was Conkers.
00:15:58Who's prosecuting him?
00:15:59Mr. Pycan.
00:16:01Magnus Pycan.
00:16:03Now, I wonder if there's a wildest hope we might get him to swallow ABH.
00:16:08Actual bodily harm?
00:16:09You plead to that, of course.
00:16:11But if we destroy the police, what do they give me for that?
00:16:14Oh, nine months?
00:16:15Year?
00:16:16That suits you.
00:16:17You want me to do a year for something I've never done?
00:16:20Would you rather fight and risk a seven for something you say you've never done?
00:16:24Ought he to plead?
00:16:25Considering the racist angle...
00:16:27Now, the judge will give you full credit for admitting.
00:16:29Admitting?
00:16:30To what I didn't do?
00:16:32Look at it this way.
00:16:34What's the credit in admitting something you did do?
00:16:37What's the credit in that?
00:16:39You taking a mig?
00:16:42I'm sorry, it's a bad habit.
00:16:44I'll tell you, Dad, I've never done this cutting.
00:16:50My name is Oswald Montgomery Gladstone, though in our gang they calls me Blades.
00:16:56Is that what they call you?
00:16:57Yeah.
00:16:58Blades.
00:16:59That's me name.
00:17:01With the other fellas like.
00:17:02I mean, I know you've found the dagger, so I'd better come clean, Governor.
00:17:07Anyway, if you nabs Ginger, he'll grass on me.
00:17:10We was mad at the MCC supporters what annoyed us, so when I left the ground I had my knife
00:17:16ready, but the MCC blokes all scarpered.
00:17:20Because I had the weapon, I felt a bit of a fool not using it.
00:17:24And there was this bloke standing, so I just let him have it in the Auntie Nelly.
00:17:29Ha!
00:17:31I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused.
00:17:36Signed, O'Glanston.
00:17:38Witness Detective Inspector Arthur and Detective Sergeant Shaw.
00:17:41I told them, Ginger done all that.
00:17:45Did you read this when you were at the police station?
00:17:47Course I did.
00:17:49Did you understand it?
00:17:50Read it through, didn't I?
00:17:52Well, I wasn't there, old darling.
00:17:55Yeah.
00:17:55I read it through.
00:17:57Then why did you sign it if it wasn't true?
00:18:00Got bored.
00:18:01Oh.
00:18:02They were going on so long.
00:18:04You ever been questioning the Nick?
00:18:07Not as far as I can remember.
00:18:09It gets boring.
00:18:09You'd do anything like to get it over with.
00:18:12Like getting back to your cell-like and reading like a comic-like.
00:18:16Yeah.
00:18:17That's it.
00:18:18I was doing reading.
00:18:20I tell you what.
00:18:21If I sign this, they promise me a smoke-like.
00:18:28Didn't that strike you as a rather expensive cigarette?
00:18:38Tragic story.
00:18:41Society's to blame, wouldn't you agree?
00:18:43No one arrested society, Mr. Wintler.
00:18:46Not yet.
00:18:47We've got dear old Mr. Oswald Gladstone to worry about.
00:18:50What do you think about this case exactly, Mr. Rumpole?
00:18:53Think?
00:18:53What I've always thought.
00:18:55Sport brings out the very worst in everybody.
00:18:57Football leads to violence and cricket leads to attempted murder.
00:19:01God knows what Ludo would do to a man.
00:19:05Ah, there's Paikian now.
00:19:07Poor chap.
00:19:09Spends his life longing to be a judge.
00:19:12Thinks a judge is the only person in court whose hands don't sweat
00:19:15and whose mouth isn't dry with panic.
00:19:18Which may not be true exactly.
00:19:21Magnus Paikian.
00:19:23So afraid of doing the wrong things
00:19:26he makes notes with ten different colored pens
00:19:29and never gets to his feet without checking his fly buttons.
00:19:33Paikian!
00:19:34No prosecuting me in this ridiculous case.
00:19:37Yes, Mr. Rumpole, I am, actually.
00:19:39As a matter of fact, I heard from his clerk.
00:19:42The judge wants to get away early today.
00:19:44Tickets for Glyndebourne?
00:19:45Glyndebourne?
00:19:46Glyndebourne.
00:19:46More likely all in wrestling at the Wembley public baths.
00:19:50But his clerk hopes very much he won't be kept late.
00:19:52Well, this isn't going to take long, is it?
00:19:54Long?
00:19:54Well, I mean, I don't really see whether...
00:19:56Oh, well, give it a couple of weeks.
00:19:57I mean, three, possibly.
00:19:58It's not a very long point, but I'll have to go into it in a little detail.
00:20:02Well, you appreciate the point, of course.
00:20:03The point?
00:20:04The point of law.
00:20:07Rather a nice one, isn't it?
00:20:08You spotted it, of course.
00:20:09The point of law?
00:20:10Yes, of course you did, you clever old brain box.
00:20:13I made sure the point would not have eluded you.
00:20:17Oh, which means that we may get a pretty rough ride from the judge.
00:20:20Well, you'll have to bear the brunt of it, of course.
00:20:23Opening a two-week case before an impatient chap like Bates.
00:20:27Well, good luck to you.
00:20:28You see, this is really going to take two weeks.
00:20:30Oh, well, now, that's entirely up to you, old chap.
00:20:33I mean, if you want to shorten it, it's your choice entirely.
00:20:36I mean, I told my clock it might be a plea.
00:20:39I thought so.
00:20:40That's what I told my client.
00:20:41I said, this is a case where the prosecution will almost certainly make us an offer.
00:20:45Now, old love, what are you offering me?
00:20:47I don't quite see what I can offer you.
00:20:49Don't you?
00:20:50Well, use your imagination if I can.
00:20:53The mind of a boy.
00:20:56They were playing games.
00:20:59Rapier and dagger.
00:21:01That's two of your weapons.
00:21:02Have at you, Cardinal's Lucky.
00:21:04Take that.
00:21:05Oh, I'm very sorry.
00:21:08Rupert of Hensow.
00:21:10You know how boys play games, don't you?
00:21:14I suppose so.
00:21:15No, of course you don't.
00:21:16You were born aged 40 with a thorough knowledge of the law of torts.
00:21:19You're saying no intent?
00:21:21But they were fooling about.
00:21:23My boy made a pass at an imaginary musketeer
00:21:26and winged a real live accountant from Muswell Hill.
00:21:29No, as we lawyers say, Magnus.
00:21:31No bloody intent whatsoever.
00:21:33Now, what does that make it?
00:21:34You were at the Crabbers last.
00:21:35Actual bodily harm.
00:21:37Oh, I thought you might accept possessing an offensive weapon.
00:21:41Oh, it'll have to be ABH.
00:21:42Oh, hard, hard.
00:21:44Magnus.
00:21:44Oh, well, you've got your job to do.
00:21:46Yes, well, I'll have to get instructions.
00:21:48Well, you'd better get them quickly.
00:21:51By the way, Rumpel, why is your chap called Blades?
00:21:54Because he's the one that carries the knife.
00:21:57A knife?
00:21:58Of course not.
00:22:00No, the old dear's a snappy dresser.
00:22:03A masher.
00:22:03A dandy.
00:22:04A blade.
00:22:05Don't you know the expression?
00:22:07Oh, really, we mustn't keep the judge waiting.
00:22:15What are they up to, Mr. Rumpel?
00:22:17Got cold feet, are they?
00:22:19What's the time?
00:22:21Should be all over by eleven.
00:22:23I'm meeting my son Nick, you know.
00:22:24He's off to the United States.
00:22:25Social Sciences.
00:22:26Now, that's a mystery you probably understand.
00:22:28You mean they'll want us to accept actual bodily harm?
00:22:31Oh, given a following wind, I think we might edge them into it.
00:22:35Princeton University, they don't take many in.
00:22:37I don't think that since the type will want to play ball, Mr. Rumpel.
00:22:42It'd be a lunatic not to.
00:22:47I can't do it, man.
00:22:48Oh, I forgot.
00:22:50He is a lunatic.
00:22:51I can't ever do it.
00:22:52Look, Ozzy.
00:22:54Blades.
00:22:56Blades.
00:22:56Do you mind if I call you Oswald?
00:22:58Do what you like.
00:22:59Only there was someone you trusted.
00:23:02I wish your family were here.
00:23:03Your mother.
00:23:03She gave him to the Brixton Magistrates.
00:23:06Oh, that's right, of course.
00:23:08Well then, your father.
00:23:10My baby father?
00:23:11The man his mother was living with at that time.
00:23:13Yes, where's he?
00:23:15Back in Jamaica.
00:23:16Who is your mother living with now?
00:23:18Last heard, she was living with a Mr. Hammurabi.
00:23:22He's Oswald's social worker.
00:23:24Oh, get Hammurabi here.
00:23:27He sent us a report.
00:23:28He thinks Oswald should never have been let out of the detention center.
00:23:33Isn't there anyone in your family to advise you?
00:23:36You're my brief, ain't you?
00:23:37You tell me what to do.
00:23:39Very well, Mr. Gladstone.
00:23:41I will advise you to the best of my ability as your counsel.
00:23:45Plead guilty to actual bodily harm.
00:23:48Now, you're risking five years.
00:23:50Maybe more if you fight.
00:23:52Now, that's a hell of a bloody great risk, dear old thing.
00:23:57You may have no chance.
00:23:59As much chance as I have of leaving these marble halls
00:24:03and spending the evening of my days in a nice little villa in the south of France,
00:24:08being poured long-picked drinks by expensive secretaries.
00:24:12No chance, Ozzy. No.
00:24:17You've got another case you want to do?
00:24:20You want to go work for some of them rich villains?
00:24:23Well, what's the matter with my case?
00:24:24Too much like a hard work?
00:24:27All right, then.
00:24:29I'll plead guilty.
00:24:30If that's what you bloody want, I'll plead guilty.
00:24:35It's your mum.
00:24:37She wants me put away, don't she?
00:24:39All right, then I'll plead guilty to something I've never done.
00:24:42Are you telling me you didn't stab anyone?
00:24:45Look, Dad, I never had no knife.
00:24:47Are you telling me that?
00:24:49You don't believe me.
00:24:50What I believe isn't of the slightest importance.
00:24:53Is that what you're telling me?
00:24:55Yeah, that's what I'm telling you.
00:24:58Then we've got to fight.
00:25:01Listen, Oswald.
00:25:02Perhaps it would be more sensible if you...
00:25:04But if he tells us that, we have got to fight.
00:25:08Mind if I take him up now, Mr Rumpold?
00:25:10No, no, you take him.
00:25:11Come on, Sonny.
00:25:15Oh, I'll be up myself in a moment.
00:25:17Give me five minutes to ring the Army and Navy, will you?
00:25:22Oh, is that coats and Macintoshes?
00:25:26Well, it's about my son, Nick.
00:25:29Well, he'll be walking into your department at approximately midday.
00:25:35Oh, I would have imagined it would be pretty empty.
00:25:39I mean, now we've lost the empire.
00:25:43Nick?
00:25:44Oh, well, he's about 23.
00:25:48Blue eyes, brown hair, no visible distinguishing marks, that sort of thing.
00:25:54Yeah, well, what do you tell him?
00:25:55His father is stuck down at the Old Bailey.
00:25:59Yes.
00:26:02Mr Rumpold.
00:26:03Sorry, I'm in court.
00:26:03I'm so glad to meet you.
00:26:04I'm Os's father.
00:26:06His father in God, you understand.
00:26:07Ah.
00:26:08Eldred Pickerskill.
00:26:09I'm priest at St Barnabas without.
00:26:11There's good in that lad, Mr Rumpold.
00:26:13Real good in him deep down somewhere.
00:26:15Yes, pretty pity doesn't bring it out and give it an airing occasionally.
00:26:18He's a hard worker.
00:26:19He works hard at his classes.
00:26:21No result as yet, absolutely no result.
00:26:24But Oswald is not discouraged.
00:26:25He is, in my view, a natural optimist.
00:26:28That's why we're fighting this case.
00:26:31Mr Rumpold, if you do call me as a witness,
00:26:34I prefer not to swear on the Bible.
00:26:36What's the matter, Vicar?
00:26:38Have you no religion?
00:26:47Percy Blakemore.
00:26:49Percy Blakemore.
00:26:50Will you take the book?
00:26:51Pick twelve men off the street.
00:26:52You know what?
00:26:53They all look exactly alike.
00:26:56Am I getting past it, long past it?
00:26:59It seems that all juries are made up of the same people.
00:27:02Perhaps being a jury is becoming a profession.
00:27:05What were you going to do when you grow up, boy?
00:27:07I'd like to be a juryman, Dad.
00:27:10Work hard, my son.
00:27:11You may rise to be a foreman.
00:27:14Sit in the underground any day.
00:27:16You'll see the mops at you.
00:27:18Always there, twelve anonymous people prepared to put you away for life.
00:27:24Well, most people challenge women, especially in a stabbing case.
00:27:29I don't mind them.
00:27:31They're often less prejudiced, less easy to shock than men, less squeamish.
00:27:37The only thing is, that lady has a distinct look of the wife.
00:27:43Oh, well, yes.
00:27:45A challenge!
00:27:48Did you say something, Mr Rumpole?
00:27:51Very little.
00:27:52A challenge, my lord.
00:27:55Yes.
00:27:57Thank you, Mrs Spriggs.
00:28:00The defence have the right to challenge jurors.
00:28:03They may think there's some reason for it.
00:28:05It casts no reflection whatsoever on you or your fitness to serve,
00:28:10but no doubt you're delighted to be spared this case.
00:28:12Yes.
00:28:13Thank you, Mrs Spriggs.
00:28:14This way, please.
00:28:17Albert Edward Walton.
00:28:19Yes.
00:28:19Will you come this way, please?
00:28:24You take the book in your right hand, please,
00:28:25and read the words on the card.
00:28:28Out of the frying pan into the bloody pulpit with him, old darling.
00:28:31Is that a Baptist button in his lapel?
00:28:35Did you say something, Mr Rumpole?
00:28:38Nothing, my lord.
00:28:40This is not a railway station.
00:28:42I like to have silence while the oath is administered.
00:28:47Judges used to scare the living daylights out of me.
00:28:50Terrible old darlings who went back to their clubs
00:28:53and ordered double muffins after death sentences.
00:28:56Bright purple with rage there used to be.
00:29:00Or white as paper,
00:29:02where the voices like ice cracking as they put the boot in.
00:29:06And read the words on the card.
00:29:07All the same, you can work on those judges.
00:29:10You could divert that rage onto the opposition.
00:29:14Or move them to tears about an old lag's army record.
00:29:18Yes, my lord, he has his little foibles and faults,
00:29:21but he did extremely well on the Somme.
00:29:24Oh, this one's a civil servant, not a tear in him.
00:29:30Can't seem to get onto terms with him, Somme.
00:29:33Ooh, there he is.
00:29:36Giving me a look of vague disgust.
00:29:39Like Queen Victoria with a bad period.
00:29:56Do you wish to ask the inspector anything?
00:30:00Have you got the statement my client is supposed to have made at the police station?
00:30:12Did you read that back to him before he signed it?
00:30:15As I remember, he read it himself.
00:30:18You're sure of that?
00:30:19Yes, quite sure.
00:30:20As a matter of fact, he read it aloud to me.
00:30:22He read it all through out loud?
00:30:24Yes, he did, my lord.
00:30:26And you didn't read it back to him?
00:30:28No, I don't believe so.
00:30:29You swear you did not?
00:30:32I swear I didn't read it to him.
00:30:34Mr Gladstone read it himself.
00:30:38And this is a statement
00:30:41alleged to have been made by a Jamaican teenager in the year 1974.
00:30:46It was made, sir, by your client.
00:30:48Every word, his?
00:30:50Every word.
00:30:52Oh, come now, Inspector.
00:30:54Don't you think your officers ought to brush up on your Jamaican?
00:30:59I don't know what you mean, sir.
00:31:01Neither do I, Mr Rumpole.
00:31:03Well, it's just that you composed this piece of sparkling prose
00:31:07in the dead language of dear old Edgar Wallace.
00:31:10Mr Rumpole,
00:31:12are you suggesting that your client's statement was composed by this officer?
00:31:17I'm suggesting, my lord, that the whole shooting match
00:31:19comes out of the old police book of verbals.
00:31:23Now, no self-respecting criminal talks like this nowadays, does he, Inspector?
00:31:27Mr Rumpole, the jury may not be as expert as you are
00:31:30and the way self-respecting criminals talk.
00:31:34Then let me demonstrate, my lord.
00:31:44In our gang they calls me Blades.
00:31:49He said gang.
00:31:53That's what I wrote down.
00:31:54Oh, yes, of course.
00:31:56But is that what he said?
00:31:58He said gang, if I wrote that down.
00:32:01Gang.
00:32:02Not firm.
00:32:04Not family.
00:32:05Not team.
00:32:06Gang.
00:32:07Oh, dear me, what a nice old Russian boy.
00:32:12I know you found a dagger, so I'd better come clean, Governor.
00:32:19Oh, really, you left something out, didn't you, Inspector?
00:32:21What about it's a fair cop and you got me banged to rights?
00:32:26Mr Rumpole,
00:32:27is this cross-examination meant to be taken seriously?
00:32:30Well, only if this piece of paper is meant to be taken seriously, my lord.
00:32:34Anyway, if you nabs Ginger,
00:32:37he'll grass on me.
00:32:39Oh, do you know, Inspector,
00:32:41had Mr Gladstone been going to night classes in old time Cockney,
00:32:45had he written a thesis on the argo of the artful Dodger?
00:32:50Not as I know of.
00:32:51Mr Rumpole.
00:32:53Or did these quaint phrases drift up from your memories of happier times,
00:32:57when all confession statements taken by the police began with,
00:33:01it's a fair cop, just as a formality?
00:33:04Mr Rumpole,
00:33:05I sincerely hope there'll be some evidence to support this attack
00:33:08on the officer's integrity.
00:33:10Oh, at the moment, my lord, I'm simply attacking his prose style.
00:33:14You are suggesting he is lying?
00:33:17Oh, my lord.
00:33:19Certainly.
00:33:20The same suggestion will doubtless be made to my client.
00:33:23The compliments are mutual.
00:33:25Mr Rumpole,
00:33:27you have some experience in these courts?
00:33:30A little, my lord.
00:33:32Just a little.
00:33:32Over a long period of years?
00:33:35You might say, my lord, from time immemorial.
00:33:38And you know very well the limits to which defending counsel may go.
00:33:42I have often been reminded of them, my lord.
00:33:46I imagine you have.
00:33:48If the cross-examination we have just heard, Mr Rumpole, is typical,
00:33:52I imagine you have had to be reminded often.
00:33:56One does not expect to have to repeat such reminders to counsel of your advanced age and seniority.
00:34:04Mr Rumpole?
00:34:05Yes, my lord.
00:34:07Have you any other questions for this officer?
00:34:10A great many.
00:34:11I was anxious not to interrupt the flow of your lordship's rebuke.
00:34:13Now, wouldn't you agree, Inspector, that this really is a golden oldie of a confession statement?
00:34:20The jury may have some idea what that question means. I have none.
00:34:25What's the answer, Inspector?
00:34:27The answer is no.
00:34:29No.
00:34:32Members of the jury.
00:34:35This case is obviously going to detain us a considerable time.
00:34:39We have yet to learn the nature of the defence.
00:34:44Yes.
00:34:45Ten past two, please.
00:34:59Great work, Mr Rumpole.
00:35:01Marvellous, sir.
00:35:02Crucifying him, that's what you're doing.
00:35:03Well, it's not easy without any nails.
00:35:06Nick!
00:35:07My father.
00:35:07Oh, Nick, I'm sorry.
00:35:08My lunatic of a client decided to protest his innocence.
00:35:12Didn't you get a coat?
00:35:13I don't need one, really.
00:35:14I wanted to take you to Simpson's for steak and kidney pud.
00:35:18That doesn't matter.
00:35:18Well, look, they do you quite well across the road.
00:35:20Some cold, rare beef,
00:35:22uh, baked potato,
00:35:24uh, chicken legs, slice of turkey.
00:35:26What do you say?
00:35:26Yes.
00:35:28Only cheese sandwiches.
00:35:30My life seems to revolve around cheese sandwiches.
00:35:34Honestly, I'm not hungry.
00:35:36I don't spend...
00:35:37Two cheese sandwiches.
00:35:39With pickle.
00:35:40Now, you'll need something pretty potent to wash down that dry old sandwich.
00:35:44See if they can rustle up a bottle of cooking claret, sweetie, will you?
00:35:47A lager will do me.
00:35:48Half of lager.
00:35:49Oh, go on. Have a short.
00:35:50Not for me, honestly.
00:35:53No pickles?
00:35:55It's not your day, is it?
00:35:56Judge doesn't think so.
00:35:58Half a lager, please, love, and I'll have a rum.
00:36:01And a fortifying Guinness.
00:36:03What time's the plane, Nick?
00:36:05Six o'clock. One of those charters.
00:36:07Having tea with you, mother?
00:36:09She wants me to.
00:36:10Yes, well, try not to cut it, eh?
00:36:12I mean, watch out for she who must be obeyed.
00:36:16I want to see her anyway.
00:36:30Well...
00:36:31Have you got no money? Would you care for a few quid?
00:36:33Not good enough.
00:36:34I worked all last holidays.
00:36:36Of course.
00:36:39Pretty dirty sort of work, wasn't it?
00:36:40I take my hat off to you.
00:36:42I could never dig up the underground.
00:36:44I don't think I could do your job, either.
00:36:46Oh, come on, Nick.
00:36:47The old Bailey's not so bad.
00:36:48Have a lot of good, clean fun down the Bailey.
00:36:51Is that what you were having this morning?
00:36:53There you are.
00:36:55Ah, thank you.
00:36:57I forget. Do you smoke these things?
00:36:59No.
00:37:00Ah, no, of course.
00:37:02Oh, filthy habit.
00:37:04No, but were you having fun?
00:37:06Well, yes, I suppose I was.
00:37:09In my own quiet way.
00:37:13This isn't even any good as a cheese sandwich.
00:37:17But I mean that judge.
00:37:18No.
00:37:20That judge was defending bad cases of unrenewed dog licences
00:37:24when I was doing the Penge Bungalow murders,
00:37:26alone and without a leader.
00:37:28I don't know how you could go on when you started talking about...
00:37:30No.
00:37:31I'll tell you how.
00:37:33You smile a sweet smile of Chinese inscludability
00:37:36and you say as your lordship pleases.
00:37:39Take the rough with the smooth, Nick.
00:37:41In the dozen oysters there's one that'll give you collywobbles.
00:37:44Of all the judges that are available
00:37:45you get the one that looks as if he's having woman trouble.
00:37:48Of all the girls you might marry.
00:37:51You pick your mother.
00:37:54I suppose he thought you were wasting time.
00:37:57At a time?
00:37:59Well, how long should it take to rob a boy's life for five years?
00:38:04I was hoping it'd be a shorty.
00:38:06And pretending?
00:38:08Pretending what?
00:38:10Pretending your mugger's innocent.
00:38:12I mean, judges must get sick and tired of all those phony defences,
00:38:15looking at the policeman's notebook and all that sort of nonsense
00:38:17when surely everyone knows.
00:38:19Knows?
00:38:20What do they know?
00:38:22Well, he actually admitted.
00:38:23Oh, so they say.
00:38:25Nobody knows anything, Nick, until it's proved.
00:38:28And even then you might have a nagging doubt.
00:38:32Members of the jury, while there remains a particle of doubt.
00:38:35Yes, I can remember you practicing that speech in front of the bathroom mirror.
00:38:39While I put my rubber duck's head under the water so it wouldn't be embarrassed.
00:38:43It's your stock in trade, isn't it, doubt?
00:38:47Well, better than being a cleric and dealing in improbable beliefs.
00:38:55Nick, I'm sorry I was busy.
00:38:56I didn't mind.
00:38:58Not till I saw what you were busy at.
00:39:01Oh?
00:39:02Do you find it so disreputable?
00:39:05If that boy's guilty, which he obviously is, then surely...
00:39:08We're all guilty of something, Nick.
00:39:11Everybody's guilty of something, old dear.
00:39:14If anyone gets off, it's a plus.
00:39:16A plus for who?
00:39:18Well, it's a strange quality of human nature, Nick.
00:39:21Could I have another rum, please?
00:39:23Right.
00:39:24Yes, thanks.
00:39:26Nick, nothing? Sure?
00:39:30You know, people show an almost comic relief at not being locked up.
00:39:34And they actually enjoy not having to share one chamber pot through endless night.
00:39:41Banged up with two frightened, vindictive and sexually frustrated strangers.
00:39:47Do you find that so very odd?
00:39:49My clients relish a good win as much as I do.
00:39:52Mm-hmm.
00:39:53What about society?
00:39:55I mean, all that getting people off.
00:39:56Is it much good to society at large?
00:39:58Our society can open a door at night and go to a real lavatory.
00:40:01Well, shouldn't you see it's protected occasionally?
00:40:03No, and just at the moment, I've got my hands full protecting Mr Ozzy Gladstone.
00:40:06By telling lies?
00:40:10By telling his story for him.
00:40:13As well as I can.
00:40:14Who do you think I am, Nick?
00:40:16I'm nothing but a ventriloquist stall.
00:40:19Stuck up there.
00:40:20Perched on Mr Gladstone's knee.
00:40:22Do you think that's a very dignified position?
00:40:24Oh, you can't be born or die in a dignified position.
00:40:28Now how the hell can you live in one, old dear?
00:40:32Thanks, love.
00:40:34Do you know that boy's mother?
00:40:36Sent him away when he was four years old.
00:40:39Sent him away from home, I mean.
00:40:41Of course I was seven when you sent me to Waggoner's.
00:40:43Oh, no.
00:40:44With a cake in a box.
00:40:45To get beaten by the sixth formers and fancied by the French master.
00:40:49Oh, come on, Nick.
00:40:50That was entirely different.
00:40:53Well, wasn't it entirely different?
00:40:57We always got on so well together, Nick, didn't we?
00:41:00I mean, we had some grand times in the holidays.
00:41:03Had tea at Gunter's, Panto, treats like that.
00:41:07I can remember a few treats when you weren't working.
00:41:09Well then.
00:41:11I never thought much about your job.
00:41:15No, I don't suppose you did.
00:41:18My due, I had to take on every petty crime so that I could pay the school fees.
00:41:22I mean, I used to come to court occasionally.
00:41:25I was reminding your mother of that.
00:41:27You took an interest in my cases in those days.
00:41:30It was rather exciting.
00:41:31You in a wig and the policeman gave me chewing gum.
00:41:34And that feeling of desperate criminals locked underground.
00:41:37There you see.
00:41:39There is an atmosphere at the Bailey.
00:41:41Quite a jolly feeling sometimes.
00:41:43But today when I saw you standing there,
00:41:46Saying things you really didn't mean.
00:41:48That's not what I was doing.
00:41:49I suddenly knew why...
00:41:52Well, you've never really said much you meant to me, have you?
00:42:03I'm sorry we couldn't get The Simpsons, Nick.
00:42:04It would have been so much more pleasant.
00:42:06Oh, yes.
00:42:07Yes, we'd have had steak and kidney pudding.
00:42:09You'd have been in a good mood and told me a string of funny stories
00:42:11About your favourite murders.
00:42:13But you wouldn't have actually said anything.
00:42:15Not something of your own.
00:42:18I suppose it's all that ventriloquist business.
00:42:19You must forget your own voice sometimes.
00:42:22Ah, my voice now.
00:42:23It's a good voice.
00:42:24I flatter myself.
00:42:26There was a boy.
00:42:27Ye knew him well.
00:42:28Ye cliffs and islands of Winander.
00:42:30I think actually that's what mother finds difficult.
00:42:34Oh, what does the leader of the opposition find difficult exactly?
00:42:38Knowing exactly who you are.
00:42:40Oh, good God.
00:42:41Been married for 30 years.
00:42:42If she doesn't know that by now.
00:42:44It's only...
00:42:44I'm going away.
00:42:46She's not very happy actually.
00:42:48I wanted to talk about it.
00:42:51It's not easy to talk here.
00:42:55Ah, it's too bad.
00:42:56He should have pleaded.
00:42:57No, but I can understand what she meant now I've seen you.
00:42:59In action.
00:43:01Is that what you call it?
00:43:03In action, yes.
00:43:04I suppose you could call it that.
00:43:06She says you're always arguing.
00:43:07But she never knows whether it's an argument or just a game.
00:43:10Like the game you were playing this morning.
00:43:12She says you seem to hate her sometimes.
00:43:14Really hate her.
00:43:15But she can't tell whether you mean it.
00:43:17In a way she says she'd rather you did than pretended to.
00:43:20But I say wonderful things too, Nick.
00:43:23Very often.
00:43:24I say wonderful complimentary things.
00:43:28Of course she doesn't believe those either.
00:43:33She's not very happy.
00:43:37She's not.
00:43:39Well what do you think I feel, Nick?
00:43:42What do you think?
00:43:43I don't know.
00:43:45I don't know what you feel.
00:43:46Mr Rumpole.
00:43:48Oh, yes.
00:43:49I'm sorry.
00:43:50Mr Rumpole, I got a message through from the prison officer.
00:43:52Yes.
00:43:52Gladstone wants to see us at once.
00:43:54Oh, you know my son Nick, don't you?
00:43:55He's off to America.
00:43:56Mr Winter, my instructing solicitor, and Joe...
00:43:59Joe.
00:44:00How do you do?
00:44:00I'm sorry, it sounded urgent.
00:44:02Ah, my master's voice.
00:44:07Yes, well...
00:44:10Have a...
00:44:11Have a good journey.
00:44:13Well, I don't suppose it'll be forever, will it?
00:44:15I mean, there'll be holidays.
00:44:16You'll be coming back.
00:44:17I expect some.
00:44:19Sorry the lunch was so scrappy.
00:44:21That's all right.
00:44:25Oh, damn it.
00:44:26We haven't had a talk yet, Eamon.
00:44:29No.
00:44:30No, we haven't.
00:44:39Bye.
00:44:46I don't feel that judge likes you.
00:44:48Do it.
00:44:48Don't want to worry about that.
00:44:51Mr Rumpole's doing a great job, Oswald.
00:44:53I don't think he likes you at all.
00:44:55Poor old sweetheart.
00:44:57Not altogether crazy about him.
00:44:59It's the jury that matters, Oswald.
00:45:01And Mr Rumpole's getting through to the jury.
00:45:03From what I see, that judge,
00:45:06he's pretty angry with you, mister.
00:45:08All part of the wear and tear, is he?
00:45:10So when I see that,
00:45:12I decided to bleed guilty.
00:45:14But Mr Rumpole explained.
00:45:16If you tell us you didn't do it...
00:45:18I'll tell you now.
00:45:19I don't want this going on.
00:45:20But if you didn't do it...
00:45:22I made that statement, didn't I?
00:45:24That judge.
00:45:26He's really getting angry.
00:45:27But Oswald, I told you, it's the jury.
00:45:31It's all gone against us.
00:45:33If you ask me...
00:45:36You ask me and I know.
00:45:38I mean, I've seen them all at work.
00:45:40And Mr Rumpole's cross-examination was brilliant.
00:45:43I mean, he had Detective Inspector Arthur right on the ropes.
00:45:47Sorry, Dad.
00:45:49Knew you tried real hard.
00:45:53It just wasn't working for you, was it?
00:45:56You're quite sure?
00:45:58I'm sure.
00:46:00We'd better take written instructions to plead guilty.
00:46:05Cheer up the old judge anyway.
00:46:07Well, I think you're doing the wrong thing, Oswald.
00:46:09I think it's a tragedy.
00:46:11I mean, give Mr Rumpole another half hour with that inspector
00:46:14and it'll come out what he is, a nigger-hater.
00:46:17He didn't call me no nigger.
00:46:18He never called me that.
00:46:20Well, if you think you know what you're doing...
00:46:27What have you got there, Mr Rumpole?
00:46:30Written instructions for you to sign.
00:46:32You can sign that, can't you?
00:46:34Yeah.
00:46:35Yeah, I can write me name.
00:46:36No, we'll read it through first before you sign it.
00:46:39Just read it through, I'll see.
00:46:42Okay, read it.
00:46:44Are you sure?
00:46:45Okay!
00:46:50Why don't you read it through out loud?
00:46:53Come on, old dear.
00:46:55Just so that we can be sure you've got it perfectly clear.
00:46:58Out loud.
00:47:00Like you did down the nick.
00:47:12Why didn't you tell us?
00:47:19What do you want me to do?
00:47:21I rather think I want you to fight, old sweetheart.
00:47:26You've got the nails now, Mr Rumpole.
00:47:29You'll crucify the inspector.
00:47:30Nails?
00:47:31Well, let's say, just the tiniest tin pack.
00:47:42Oh, I wouldn't be surprised he gave him up as a bad job then.
00:47:44You talk about it.
00:47:45How long have you been working with him?
00:47:46Well, several months, sir.
00:47:49Months?
00:47:51Indeed.
00:47:52Thank you very much for care.
00:48:16Yes, Mr Rumpole.
00:48:19Officer, you remember saying before we adjourned for luncheon, you didn't read his alleged statement out to my clan?
00:48:28Yes, sir.
00:48:30But the reverse was the case and he read the statement out to you.
00:48:34Did he say that?
00:48:35Oh, yes.
00:48:36Has it escaped your lordship's note?
00:48:40He read it all through out loud.
00:48:42I didn't read it back to him.
00:48:43Is that the passage?
00:48:44Your lordship has the passage.
00:48:45Is that right?
00:48:46Well, I think...
00:48:48Is that exactly what happened?
00:48:52Yes.
00:48:55Would it interest you to know, Inspector, that Oswald Gladstone can neither read nor write?
00:49:04But, er...
00:49:05Oh, he can scrawl a signature just.
00:49:08He's learnt to copy some sort of scribble.
00:49:11But I shall be calling, and this is for your lordship's note, a vicar, a clergyman of the Church of
00:49:18England, the Reverend Eldred Pickersgill, if your lordship would like me to spell that out for him.
00:49:25No.
00:49:26And in the boys' club he runs.
00:49:29The Reverend Gentleman has tried, night after night, to push the letters of the alphabet into the head of Oswald
00:49:36Gladstone.
00:49:36And the result is...
00:49:39Well...
00:49:40A blank, my lord.
00:49:42A total and absolute blank.
00:49:46You mean, Mr. Rumpole, he can't read...
00:49:50Poetry, my lord.
00:49:53The whole realm of poetry is a closed book to him.
00:49:59Wordsworth is silent.
00:50:01Dickens and Thackeray might not have existed.
00:50:04He can't even look up and tell what street he's in.
00:50:08Nor read the simplest directions for assembling a model aeroplane.
00:50:14Well, he either can read or he can't. Which is it?
00:50:16He can't!
00:50:18Can he, Inspector?
00:50:19I, uh, I don't know about that.
00:50:21Don't you?
00:50:23Mr. Rumpole, you are intending to call this speaker?
00:50:27The Reverend Eldred Pickersgill, my lord, has forsaken his cure of souls and has waited all day outside your lordship's
00:50:36court.
00:50:37Now, if I may cross-examine this witness without interruption.
00:50:40Do you still say, Detective Inspector Arthur, that my client read his statement aloud to you?
00:50:48I imagine so.
00:50:49You imagine so?
00:50:51You have a fertile imagination, Inspector.
00:50:54Do you think that you dreamt this entire document?
00:51:00I must have read it to him.
00:51:03Must you?
00:51:05Must have done it.
00:51:07Really?
00:51:10I must.
00:51:11Then you must have been lying, Inspector, when you gave your evidence to this jury this morning.
00:51:18Do you accept, Inspector, that this young man could not read?
00:51:25If the vicar says so, my lord, I... I must accept it.
00:51:28So it follows from that, that you didn't put my client's reading to the test.
00:51:35It must do.
00:51:37And that the evidence you gave this morning was quite misleading.
00:51:43Yes, but...
00:51:44Oh, there are no buts, Inspector. It was either true or false. Which?
00:51:49It was incorrect.
00:51:52Yes.
00:51:54And if my client couldn't read, he wouldn't know whether you were writing down his words.
00:52:00Or your words, Inspector.
00:52:03He...
00:52:04might not know.
00:52:05He would not know!
00:52:09He wouldn't know.
00:52:11No.
00:52:12Now, let me put to you what my client actually told you.
00:52:17And, Inspector...
00:52:19Yes, sir.
00:52:19Perhaps this time you will try to assist the court by telling us the truth.
00:52:25He told you, did he not, about a boy called Ginger Robertson?
00:52:29Yes, he did.
00:52:30Who was present at the scene of the crime?
00:52:32Yes.
00:52:33But who is not there in that dock?
00:52:36No.
00:52:36No, because the combined power and brilliance of the detective force
00:52:39has not succeeded in catching that gentleman, Ginger Robertson.
00:52:43Are the police still out looking for him?
00:52:45No, sir.
00:52:45Why not?
00:52:47Because when we got the Gladstone Confession, I...
00:52:50Which you had written yourselves!
00:52:52You didn't think it worthwhile the further trouble of apprehending the true criminal.
00:53:02You see, Nick, sometimes it goes well.
00:53:06Sometimes it goes beautifully.
00:53:09Sweet and easy as cutting off a hunk of stilt and cheese or knocking back a Guinness.
00:53:15Well, you've got to lay the ground, though.
00:53:17You notice I tied him down before lunch got him committed to his story.
00:53:22Well, then I didn't really know why I was doing it.
00:53:24But it was the instinct, you see.
00:53:27That's why they use a rump, old Nick.
00:53:29It's the dear old instinct.
00:53:31See how it's working for us.
00:53:32Yes, sir.
00:53:33They're never going to believe Ozzie's confession now.
00:53:36Yes, sir.
00:53:36See how it's working for us, Nick.
00:53:39Look.
00:53:40She was an elfin Guinness.
00:53:44Lustily I dipped my oars into the silent lake.
00:53:48And as I rose upon my oar,
00:53:51my boat went heaving through the water like a swan.
00:53:56Oh, ye presences of nature in the sky,
00:54:00and on the earth, ye visions of the hills.
00:54:04Excuse me, did you say something?
00:54:06No, I didn't say anything.
00:54:09Have you had a good day, Rumpo?
00:54:14Oh, yes, quite a good day, George.
00:54:16Had a bit of fun with the detective inspector.
00:54:20He'll probably go home and kick the chrysanthemums.
00:54:23Does the old Bailey blunt the sensitivity?
00:54:28Well, how much gets blunted anyway in 64 years?
00:54:33In the passage of time, sensitivity drops away unnoticed.
00:54:39Like hair comes out on the comb.
00:54:43I masticate well.
00:54:46I've kept my teeth longer than most people.
00:54:49So you never got away to see your son?
00:54:52Sorry?
00:54:52You had a fight on your hands.
00:54:54You never got away to see your boy.
00:54:55Oh, Nick!
00:54:56Nick came down to the Bailey
00:54:59to see the old man in action.
00:55:00He's enjoyed that.
00:55:02Yes.
00:55:03Nick's always liked the Bailey.
00:55:05Even when he was a schoolboy.
00:55:06He used to come and watch my murders.
00:55:08Then I'd give him a rattling good tea.
00:55:12You crucified him, Mr. Rumpo.
00:55:13Not over yet.
00:55:14Oh, it's a foregone conclusion.
00:55:15Oh, good night, Inspector.
00:55:16Good night, Mr. Rumpo.
00:55:17More.
00:55:18More old, sweetheart.
00:55:22You know Ozzy could have said all that to him.
00:55:25Every word.
00:55:27The only mistake the inspector made
00:55:29was to ginger it up with a little lie.
00:55:32His only mistake?
00:55:33Do you believe that, Mr. Rumpo?
00:55:35Who knows?
00:55:36It's not my job to believe anything, old dear.
00:56:01You saw Nick then?
00:56:03Hmm?
00:56:04Yes.
00:56:05Yes, I saw him.
00:56:07We had a bit of a scrap lunch, but...
00:56:09It was very pleasant.
00:56:11Oh, very pleasant indeed.
00:56:13He said you had a sandwich in the pub.
00:56:16A stab wound entering the body
00:56:18at an angle of approximately 45 degrees.
00:56:24Well, you know how it is.
00:56:26It's difficult to make plans down the Bailey.
00:56:29He said he talks about you.
00:56:31About your work.
00:56:34He seemed to think he was a little, well,
00:56:36off color somehow.
00:56:39Did he?
00:56:41Did he give me that impression?
00:56:44I must say, I wasn't having that from Nick.
00:56:48Your father, I told him,
00:56:49is a member of an honorable profession.
00:56:51Why?
00:56:53Besides,
00:56:54think of all he has done for you.
00:56:57Waggoners,
00:56:58Oxford,
00:56:59and lots of help going to America.
00:57:01All the proceeds of crime?
00:57:03I certainly did not say that.
00:57:06I said, Nick,
00:57:08you should respect your father.
00:57:11That's what I said.
00:57:17Well, you should.
00:57:22Nick thinks we ask all the wrong questions.
00:57:26Just so as to get the wrong answers.
00:57:29That's what he thinks.
00:57:31You rather upset me,
00:57:33talking like that.
00:57:36He's quite right, of course.
00:57:38Rumpo!
00:57:38Well, I mean...
00:57:41Why?
00:57:43That's the question
00:57:44we ought to ask ourselves
00:57:46about Mr Ozzy Gladstone.
00:57:49Well...
00:57:51Why?
00:57:52Not who's guilty,
00:57:53who did it?
00:57:54Can you prove it?
00:57:55Yes, I can.
00:57:56No, you can't.
00:57:56Baggs, I have the last word
00:57:57and the burden of proof.
00:58:01But why?
00:58:04Why ever did that happen?
00:58:07Outside Lords.
00:58:09For no reason whatsoever.
00:58:13Well, God knows,
00:58:15I believe in freedom, but...
00:58:18Jolly old Jean-Jacques Rousseau,
00:58:20I'd like to ask him
00:58:21a few pertinent questions.
00:58:25I have no idea
00:58:26what you're talking about.
00:58:29As far as I am concerned,
00:58:31you are a member
00:58:32of an honorable profession
00:58:34and you do it very well.
00:58:36I heard that at the garden party.
00:58:40Rumpo, they said,
00:58:41is as stubborn as a mule
00:58:42in cross-examination.
00:58:47What's happened to the gin?
00:58:49Did they really say that?
00:58:51There was ample gin here last night.
00:58:54Yes, I'll go down to the off-licence shortly.
00:58:59You know what else Nick said?
00:59:01As far as I'm concerned,
00:59:03Nick talked a lot of nonsense.
00:59:05He said...
00:59:07that you didn't know exactly
00:59:10who I am.
00:59:13You do know that, don't you?
00:59:16No, of course I do.
00:59:19You're Rumpo.
00:59:22Aren't you?
00:59:26Of course.
00:59:28Horace.
00:59:30Rumpo.
00:59:32What on earth was he on about?
00:59:34Everyone knows me down the Bailey.
00:59:36An amiable eccentric
00:59:37who spills cigar ash
00:59:38on his waistcoat.
00:59:40Tells the time
00:59:41with the gold hunter
00:59:41and calls everybody
00:59:42old sweetheart.
00:59:43And I recite Wordsworth
00:59:45in the loo.
00:59:56Who am I exactly?
01:00:05No.
01:00:33Question.
01:00:36Ah.
01:00:40Pervy.
01:00:44Another.
01:00:47Doctor.
01:00:50Hello.
01:00:53Pervy.
01:00:56Pervy.
01:00:58Pervy.
01:00:59Oh, good.
01:01:03North.
01:01:06Look might be.
01:01:08That,
01:01:10The
01:01:17Doctor's
01:01:20Evidence.
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