00:04How much would I be looking at paying just to sort of get on the books as an adoptive couple?
00:10Average adoption costs $35,000, maybe even $40,000 anymore.
00:14To go all the way through?
00:16To go all the way, yeah.
00:18I was in Southern California, exploring a very different approach to adoption.
00:24Open adoption is increasingly the way adoption is done in the U.S.
00:28It is a billion dollar industry.
00:31The price of a newborn baby runs to tens of thousands, covering the costs of agencies, legal fees and living
00:38expenses for the birth mums.
00:40Through adoption you'll be able to make the loving decision to place your baby with a family who meets your
00:46criteria.
00:47And then you can meet waiting parents.
00:49Yeah, on the internet.
00:55Isaac, what's our baby's name going to be?
00:57Baby Maya.
01:00Oh, wow.
01:01Where's baby Maya going to sleep?
01:03In my crib.
01:04Yeah, it's going to be her crib now, right?
01:06How are you going to help with the baby?
01:09I like feeding her bottle.
01:12Yeah.
01:13Her bottle, changing her diapers.
01:15I don't do that usually.
01:18Mums and dads do that usually.
01:22That's mummy and daddy's job.
01:24Hmm.
01:25Has this been expensive?
01:27About 50?
01:2950,000?
01:30Yeah.
01:30Yes.
01:31If she changes her mind, I think we get back like 10.
01:36Like nothing.
01:37It's a little stressful.
01:38But you're not allowing that to upset your sense of optimism about this.
01:43He will remind me like if we get a baby, which is, and then I'll say, I think that enough.
01:49Like I don't need help, you know.
01:50So we try to keep each other positive.
01:53I guess you just have to hope and pray that they don't change their mind.
02:10That's what I was going to ask is what made you think about adoption and how do you feel about
02:14it?
02:15Um, I have mixed feelings about it.
02:18Um, I'm obviously not technically happy that I'm doing it, but I am happy that I'm doing it.
02:23You know, I never thought I would be in this position.
02:25Ever.
02:26But I don't have family and I know how it is to be by yourself.
02:30And that's so important to have stability and family and people to be there for you when you need them.
02:36And I can't provide that for her, so.
02:44Hi, Ari, how are you doing?
02:46Good to see you.
02:48May I come in?
02:49Yes, yes.
02:49Is Amy here as well?
02:51Patricia had delivered the baby herself and, um, didn't tell anyone.
02:56But a day or two later, she did respond and say, why won't you all leave me alone so I
03:00can enjoy my new baby?
03:01You guys are ruining this for me.
03:04We were ready for her, you know.
03:06We thought we were having a baby at any moment.
03:09I mean, it just makes your day-to-day life difficult, everywhere you go, telling people there's no baby.
03:15So.
03:17There is an inbuilt tension in open adoption between the needs of the often vulnerable birth mums and those of
03:24the ever-hopeful adopters.
03:26It is a process open to abuse and, however it happens, pain is intrinsic to it.
03:34There is no hope.
03:42There is no hope.
03:42There is no hope.
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