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Ep 14 Abbott Elementary Season 5 | English Sub - #StoryHaven

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Transcript
00:07Dinky! Wakey, wakey!
00:08Yeah, my brother Caleb is visiting.
00:10I know, it was a surprise to me too.
00:12But he and Melissa really hit it off last time he was here,
00:15and when she found out he was in my room.
00:17In my bed.
00:19I miss my bed.
00:20Good morning, sunshine!
00:23Ya hungry?
00:24Where are my pancakes?
00:25Oh yeah, sorry, I ran out of batter.
00:27But I threw the first one in the trash if you want to dig it out.
00:29I still don't understand why Caleb can't wait.
00:32Mel, do you think that maybe, um, Jacob could come to my room later?
00:36Because I, like, I rearranged the furniture and made a really sweet fort.
00:39Oh it's not!
00:40He said.
00:41I pay rent, Caleb.
00:42I call dibs, okay?
00:42It's my room.
00:52You all are doing so well, and you did excellent on the-
00:56The Deep Blue Sea.
00:57Yay!
00:59Things are really good.
01:00I'm down to 37 students.
01:03Because I lost the future to other schools.
01:06I mean, I'm so sad about it.
01:09I miss them so much.
01:11So who can tell-
01:12Pacific.
01:13You see what I did there?
01:15Hey, Janine, you having a good day?
01:16Yeah, yeah.
01:18Excellent.
01:19So things going well?
01:20Not anymore.
01:20Come on in, y'all.
01:22Um, Ava, who are these children?
01:24Oh, these are transfers from McDowell Elementary.
01:27Remember, they stole our laps, and then the city condemned their school, so here you go.
01:31Okay, but I'm already at 37 students, so five more is going to put me at-
01:3442!
01:34Yeah!
01:35That is-
01:36No.
01:37A-Ava.
01:38Oh, okay.
01:40Everyone settle!
01:41Settle down!
01:42And what are your names?
01:44You're staring at that coffee maker like it just broke your heart.
01:46Yeah, I forgot to put in a new pod.
01:49It's fine.
01:50I'm just going to drink the leftover.
01:52Gross.
01:52I don't have the energy.
01:53My class is off the walls.
01:55What is the word for over-overwhelmed?
01:57In English, you're Polish.
01:58Swamped, crushed, distressed.
02:00You've got your Lisa in your class.
02:01That little girl alone has enough energy to power a small city.
02:05Her parents are actually getting her tested for ADHD soon.
02:08It's the sheer volume of children.
02:10And also the children's volume.
02:12Huh.
02:12Anyway, I am now off to the basement to see if I can find more desks.
02:16Me too.
02:16Maybe she can get some medication for that.
02:18I just hope they really test her and don't just throw a pill at her the way they used to.
02:22Oh, yeah.
02:22Remember the 90s?
02:23They were just easier to find a one-size-fits-all shortcut.
02:27Mm-hmm.
02:27That's right.
02:28Sometimes I don't even know if we need medication.
02:30Mm-mm.
02:31Every day.
02:33You guys think I can pull that off?
02:34No.
02:35No.
02:36Why not?
02:36You don't have the calves.
02:38Alan Cumming on the other hand.
02:40So loud.
02:40We get it.
02:41It seems like he's trying so hard.
02:44And I know it sounds crazy, but that is when Elijah and I fell in love with honky.
02:48Gregory and Melissa, you're up next on the P.E. rotation.
02:50All right.
02:51Wait, wait, wait.
02:51We still need a gym teacher.
02:53My brother Caleb's looking for a job.
02:55I mean, he was hoping to get hired before I hired a gym teacher.
02:57Like, leaving this conversation.
02:59Yeah, stop trying to weasel your way into Ava's inner circle.
03:01It's just me and her against the world.
03:03No.
03:04No, he just didn't know how to check for a pulse and so he wrongly pronounced him dead.
03:08But he's learned.
03:08He's grown.
03:09Okay, listen.
03:10I love Caleb like he's my son.
03:11But little players on a tiny little football team so you can get the most out of their tiny
03:15little bodies.
03:16Yeah, I think we can handle it until we get a real replacement.
03:18I mean, not to brag.
03:20Then accept my squat challenge.
03:22No.
03:23I've seen Mr. J squat triceps.
03:25Ain't no joke.
03:26If he were to beat me, that would damage my-
03:28The one?
03:28Oh, you carry.
03:31What was that?
03:32I dropped my pen.
03:33I dropped your pen.
03:35No flip zone, okay?
03:39Where did you get that?
03:40My quiver.
03:41Duh.
03:42Stop aiming that at me.
03:44And then you just kinda hurl your body into the air.
03:46Cool.
03:46No.
03:47No, no, no.
03:47No flipping.
03:48Especially you, Maddie, you have a low center of gravity.
03:50You can't handle it.
03:50No!
03:51I need a teacher's aid.
03:55Oh.
03:55What did you say?
03:57I need a teacher's aid.
03:58Get your sweaty palms off my-
04:00I can't, okay?
04:01A couple of kids just sent it over the tipping point.
04:03And now they are out of control.
04:05I need help.
04:06You can say that again.
04:07I'll see what I can-
04:08This is why I need a goodbye sign.
04:10Get out of my office, weirdo.
04:13And tomorrow we will learn about one of the worst sequels ever made.
04:16Yeah.
04:21I could use some advice.
04:23Who?
04:24I don't wanna make a big thing of this.
04:26But that conversation in the lounge yesterday.
04:28I can't shake it.
04:29I totally hear you.
04:30100% on the same page.
04:32Menti were talking and Mrs. Howard shared some opinions that didn't sit right with me.
04:36Cause I'm that way.
04:37So it was a little offensive.
04:39Oh my god.
04:40I caught Barb's microaggression when she called Alan coming loud.
04:43But I didn't know anybody else had.
04:46My gaydar clearly needs a tune-up because I have another queer teacher at the school.
04:50I don't like to talk about it.
04:51It's just-
04:52I don't think Mrs. Howard really gets the struggle.
04:55Don't hear you, brother.
04:56Do they talk like that often?
04:58You know, it's sad.
04:59I barely even notice anymore.
05:02Does anyone else know?
05:03No.
05:03They kinda knew all along.
05:05Yeah.
05:05Explained a lot.
05:07Well, I promise it gets better.
05:10It has.
05:11I don't know.
05:12I don't wanna rock the boat.
05:14You know what?
05:15Why don't I talk to her?
05:16I will leave your name out of it.
05:18Sometimes I can be so subtle with-
05:20Daniel, sit down.
05:23Guys, stop doing that dance.
05:25It is inappropriate.
05:26Why?
05:27I can't even have anything been here to say.
05:29Yes.
05:29And also, good news.
05:31I got you an aide.
05:32Oh.
05:33In fact, I got you the best aide this district has to offer.
05:36Award-winning holder and defender of the best teacher's aide certificate three years and counting.
05:41Oh no.
05:41Ashley Garcia!
05:43Where are your shoes?
05:44Oh.
05:50Ashley, why don't you just go, uh, introduce yourself?
05:52Hey, everyone!
05:54I'm Miss Garcia, and I hope you're thirsty because I'm a cool and-
06:00Ava, I asked you for help, not a 43rd student.
06:03Well, she's the only aide available, so take her or leave her.
06:06I'd like to leave her, please.
06:07What for?
06:08What you want me to do, send out another email?
06:10Come on, Miss Teeth, you gotta get in on this.
06:13No.
06:14No.
06:14Can you stop?
06:15You know what-
06:16Sitting, or are you leaning?
06:18Leaning.
06:18Come on.
06:19Sit like you mean it.
06:20Really sit into it.
06:21Knees, 90 degrees.
06:23Core.
06:26You call that the brotherly shove?
06:28What is that?
06:29It is fourth and two.
06:31There are three-
06:32Normal game, like tag.
06:33You wanna play tag instead of practicing the most effective play in the history of football?
06:39Now get-
06:40Do not stop now.
06:42We're getting to the end of the rainbow.
06:46May I have a word with you?
06:48You're talking to Melissa.
06:50I just want to encourage you to be a little more thoughtful when you speak, and to-
06:56I am not at liberty to say.
06:59Well, Jacob, if I wanted to read a mystery novel, I would go to the library, so-
07:04You say it and who you say it around, especially when Bicon Alan Cumming is involved.
07:08I do not understand what it is you are talking about, but if-
07:12Absolutely wonderful.
07:16Have a seat, please.
07:18Guys, what is with the paper?
07:20Well, this isn't working.
07:21Ashley is making things worse.
07:23Oh no, this isn't an invitation for you to complain.
07:25Figure it out.
07:27Okay, got- deal.
07:28Constance, get away from the sink.
07:30Jameer, no, drop the chalk.
07:32Take that out of your mouth.
07:33Hey, Marissa, I said no-
07:36By all means, Ashley, your help is welcome at any time.
07:42Except for now.
07:42Who is that and why am I looking at him?
07:44The movie Richard Jewell.
07:45Look, if you just hold up this picture of him, the kids will be quiet.
07:48It works every time.
07:49Ashley, I've been teaching for a very long time.
07:52It's been three years since you saw me.
07:54I've learned a lot, watched a lot of movies.
07:55I'm a 3PA of the year with a thousand followers on Letterboxd.
07:58Do you think those things aren't related?
08:00Take the left side, I'll take the right side.
08:01Okay.
08:03I said you take the left side.
08:05Oh, you meant left, left.
08:07I thought you meant-
08:08Prevents injury, okay?
08:09So focus up.
08:10Where are y'all going?
08:11Melissa!
08:13Jacob and Caleb.
08:15What are you doing?
08:16Time in gym class?
08:16No, you heard wrong, because they love this class.
08:19No.
08:19We hate it.
08:20She hates everything.
08:22Look, I just thought maybe you could use some help.
08:24Look at me and you just see a ripped TikTok trainer, but I'm more than that.
08:27I was also a ripped camp counselor for five years, and a ripped junior trainer in the
08:31kids-
08:32The boy a chance.
08:32Come on, put me in, coach.
08:35Okay, here.
08:36Fine.
08:36These are the plays we're working on.
08:38Whistle.
08:38Good luck.
08:39Play nice.
08:42Attention!
08:43Fitness freaks!
08:44Who's ready to have some fun, huh?
08:47Yeah, man, it's supposed to make you hate your life.
08:49Yes.
08:50It's nothing sacred anymore.
08:54And then reach up.
08:55There you go.
08:56What do you guys think?
08:57How am I doing out there?
08:59I mean, it's not what I would have done, but the kids do seem to be enjoying themselves.
09:03Yeah.
09:04Good job.
09:04Kids don't need to burn as many calories or gain muscle mass like adults do.
09:08I knew that.
09:08Plus, you know, they actually like these activities.
09:12Mm-hmm.
09:13Oh, wait.
09:14No.
09:14No, yeah, she's asleep.
09:15Also great for recovery.
09:17Bye, y'all.
09:18Enjoy your lunch.
09:19Bye.
09:20Very productive conversation with Barb.
09:23It's just that generation, you know?
09:24Thanks, man.
09:25It just gets to me sometimes.
09:27Like, what if she's-
09:28And, don't worry, it did not tell her you were gay.
09:31Okay, good.
09:32Uh, why would you?
09:34No, I would never.
09:35It-it wasn't easy for me to come out either, but you are not alone.
09:41I'm also not gay.
09:42Yeah, okay, yeah, I just feel like-
09:44You told me?
09:44No, I didn't.
09:45Because I'm not gay.
09:47Is this what you talked to Mrs. Howard about?
09:50No.
09:51If you're not gay, what made you uncomfortable in the lounge?
09:54I have ADHD.
09:57Gay-DHD?
09:58No.
09:59Straight-
10:00So, what Mrs. Howard said, stuff like that is part of the reason why medication is still stigmatized.
10:06Well, first of all, thanks for sharing.
10:08A bit more work to do with Barb, but I could circle back and I could pretend to get a
10:12call from my pharmacist.
10:13You know what, man?
10:14Thank you very much for all your help.
10:20Ashley, my side can't focus.
10:23I know that's not working.
10:25Oh, you don't think it's working?
10:27No!
10:28Is it time to bring down the house with Hauser?
10:32Paul Walter Hauser's gonna calm down 42-sucking-
10:39I really don't wanna read it.
10:40Hey, hey, hey.
10:43Back to reading.
10:45I learned two years ago that much like a sin, Richard Jewell disorients the mind of anyone under 12 years
10:51old into complete silence.
10:54Trust me.
10:56Hey, it was me.
10:58Can you make this quick? I'm getting to the good part.
11:02Okay.
11:04Like the FBI or Richard Jewell, an apology?
11:07Yeah, I owe you both an apology.
11:10I learned a lot in my first years of teaching.
11:12Thank me.
11:14Of course, girl.
11:15What else y'all wanna talk about?
11:16How Janine's getting worse at teaching?
11:18How she's lying about being short?
11:20Think about it.
11:21Why would she need those big-ass feet if her body's really small?
11:25Mrs. Howard, can we talk?
11:27Sure.
11:28For me to articulate?
11:29Sweetheart, if you could just pick up the pace a bit, please.
11:31I have a dinner date with my new grandbaby.
11:34Well, the other day in the lounge...
11:36What am I saying?
11:37I'm not good at the first one, and I don't remember the second.
11:40It was about ADHD.
11:42Oh.
11:43Always a rambunctious student, but I had no idea.
11:47Yeah, my doctor actually suggested medication, but because of the stigma around it, it shot.
11:52Got a prescription.
11:54It really helped me.
11:55And it still does.
11:57I'm happy that you took action for yourself.
11:59That might make some of the students feel ashamed.
12:03First of all, I'm sorry if I made you feel anything less than good, Dominic.
12:07That is the more careful about how I use my words.
12:10I really appreciate that, Mrs. Howard.
12:12Alright.
12:15Anything?
12:17He's got the first graders playing freeze tag to practice balance.
12:20Yeah, middles are a hula-hoo thing for focus and endurance.
12:23Got the bump of myself for being right.
12:26Hell yeah, little buddy. That's that confidence we talked about.
12:30Listen, Ava, I know how to hire him.
12:33I only do nepotence and hires for black people.
12:35Plus, he doesn't have his proper credentials.
12:36You didn't have a single credential when you started here.
12:38Right.
12:39That worked out.
12:40I mean, we're getting it.
12:41Freeze tag balls!
12:42You're the best, Coach C.
12:44Nah, you're the best, Lonnie.
12:47Cool.
12:47Get in there.
12:48But only part-time.
12:49And he has to get all his credentials.
12:51Which I assume is just running a mile and learning how to blow a whistle.
12:55Maybe now I'll get my room back.
12:58Now, the Mini Zen Garden is great for focus.
13:01Okay.
13:02And the lava lamp is a real-
13:04But no.
13:05It just enhances grooviness.
13:07Wow.
13:07You really have thought of everything.
13:08It is amazing how locked in you are.
13:10I know, I know.
13:11Ashley.
13:12Man, now who thinks I'm an army wife.
13:13I need you to reset it.
13:14How many videos can you watch in an hour?
13:16You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
13:18Wait, wait, wait, wait.
13:18Ashley.
13:19We're in the middle-
13:20Duty calls.
13:21Well, can you at least tell me what the hot sauce does?
13:24Sprinkle it by the door.
13:25You'll see.
13:26I have no idea what it does.
13:32What the hell do you think you're doing?
13:34I don't know.
13:36I'll clean it up.
13:37Sorry.
13:40Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the-
13:44All the new hires?
13:45Uh-huh.
13:45Standard protocol.
13:47First question.
13:48What's your full name?
13:50Caleb Whitney Hill.
13:51Oh, you-
13:53Interesting.
13:56Where do you live?
13:57At, uh, Jacob's house.
13:58Okay.
13:59Sorry.
14:00Earlier today, you and I did a squat challenge.
14:03Who won?
14:04By a landslide.
14:05I did.
14:07You-
14:12Don't you ever forget it.
14:16Delicious.
14:22jellyfishixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixieixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixixix
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