00:00Lindy West's new memoir has everyone debating the ethics of polyamory after it seems like she
00:05admitted that her husband more or less coerced her into the dynamic. West is now part of what
00:10she claims is a happy thruple, but the revelation that her husband wanted to open up their marriage
00:16sent her into tears and was something that she had to spend months talking herself into.
00:21She told the New York Times that she was, quote, devastated and that her initial conversation with
00:25him was a lot of her crying and being like, I don't want anyone else. And yet, ultimately,
00:30because she was more or less given an ultimatum and told it's this way or the highway, she let her
00:36husband's girlfriend in on the dynamic. Her husband presented her with all manner of explanation for
00:42why he wanted to open up the marriage, including saying that it's a system built on ownership and
00:48perhaps the fact that he's a person of color gave him a greater awareness of this fact than her.
00:53And the reality of her dynamic sounds kind of sad. She said that she loves sleeping in the guest room
00:58and crawling into bed with them in the morning. And it sort of sounds like she's been sidelined in
01:03her own marriage. Polyamory is obviously a very difficult dynamic to traverse. And I think this
01:10situation sort of goes to show that coercion cannot be a part of it. Being given ultimatums can have people
01:17compromise themselves in their own desires and talk themselves into something that feels less progressive
01:22and more like the patriarchy.
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