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00:00Thank you to everyone for being here today. We're so happy to be here.
00:03I want to start by talking about how we're in a moment where power and leadership are being reshaped in
00:09real time.
00:10And I'm so excited to be here with this group because we're going to talk about what effective leadership means
00:15and who it actually is for at this moment. So let's get into it.
00:21Reshma, I want to start with you.
00:23Okay.
00:24You have said we need to stop fixing women and fix the system.
00:30That's right.
00:31Yeah, which I think is a powerful place to start, right?
00:35We're trying to get more women into leadership roles.
00:37But while we do that, it's important to look at what hasn't worked.
00:41Are there philosophies that have failed us, ways of thinking that we should change?
00:45Tell us what you think.
00:46Well, I think the biggest thing in women's leadership that has been left out is motherhood.
00:5180% of women at some point will become a mom.
00:55And they keep convincing us that we're broken when they're broken.
00:59I mean, think about it.
01:00Most of us were set up to fail before we even had our cup of coffee.
01:03Why is the school day start at 8.30 and pick up is at 3.30 when the workday is
01:099 to 6, set up to fail?
01:11Why do I spend more on my childcare than I do on my mortgage?
01:18Why am I constantly offered these false choices, these false binaries between either being a girl boss or a trad
01:25wife when all I want is something in the middle, right?
01:29The freedom to figure out what works for me and my family.
01:34And so when we think about American motherhood, you know, the fact that it's broken, it's a feature, not a
01:40bug.
01:40It was designed that way.
01:43For 250 years, we have literally been conned.
01:48And the way that we're often conned is by judgment.
01:52Probably the worst thing you can say to me as a mom is that you're a bad mom.
01:56You know, there's a reason why in a true crime podcast where, you know, the story is about a parent
02:02killing a child, guess who's like the most viewed viewer of that?
02:06Moms.
02:07Because we're like, damn, at least I didn't kill my child this morning.
02:09Like I'm doing something, right?
02:12But if you look at the history of time and you look at these archetypes, they're all the same.
02:16The refrigerator mom, the helicopter mom, the anti-vax mom, the mom who breastfeeds, the gay mom, the tiger mom,
02:23right?
02:23Today, the wine mom.
02:24We're all the same.
02:25They humiliate us to take away our power.
02:30And once we recognize, right, that if we come together, if we don't fall for those cons, we can get
02:40child care and paid leave.
02:41Because oftentimes, we say this at Moms First, like culture eats policy for breakfast every damn day.
02:48If you don't value something, if you don't invest in something, if you don't respect in something, then you're not
02:53going to invest in the policy choices that make things different.
02:56So, to me, narrative change, culture change is everything.
03:02Wow.
03:03That's really powerful.
03:06Continuing on that theme of change, Leslie, I want to ask you about women-only leadership training programs.
03:13In your experience, what actually works?
03:17Should organizations be implementing these?
03:20Should they be looking for something that's more inclusive in a general way?
03:23What have you seen in your line of work?
03:25So, not everyone may agree, but I think we should get rid of them.
03:29I do not think.
03:30And we've made changes even in our own company on different initiatives.
03:34And we just recently opened up what was formerly a women in leadership training program as part of development opportunity
03:41for everybody in the organization.
03:42But if we are asking, historically, you look at cultural change.
03:46If you are asking the party that is, you know, underrepresented to go fix the problem themselves.
03:52So, to the point you just made, if you're asking us to go fix your problems and talk about it
03:56amongst yourselves, you cannot affect change.
03:58So, I absolutely believe that any leadership training program should be inclusive of everyone.
04:05There are skills that everyone needs to know.
04:07So, we talk about, historically, you know, soft skills that women have sort of been pooh-poohed for that are
04:12now actually emerging as the skills that leaders need to lead in today's environment.
04:16You need to teach those skills to everybody as well.
04:19So, I do not think that we are going to solve any problem by putting ourselves in a room and
04:25talking about problems together.
04:27It makes a ton of sense.
04:28And the idea that women should be the people who have to fix their own problems seems totally antithetical to
04:34getting more women in leadership in the first place.
04:36We all have to be a part of the solution, right?
04:39On that same note, Debbie, OpenTable is 50% women.
04:44And now that you've achieved that number, which I think we should stop for a second and say, that's incredible,
04:49especially for a company.
04:50Woo! Woo!
04:50Right?
04:53How are you refocusing your lens to really get more women in leadership roles and make it so that women
05:00can not only learn those skills but be in those positions of power?
05:04Yeah.
05:05We are half women at OpenTable, but I think the more equally interesting fact is that the exec team is
05:12also more than half women.
05:14The exec team are all working moms, which is a lot.
05:19And so, your question on how do we get more women up there, first, like, you have to see it
05:28to be it.
05:28So, just the fact that we are who we are.
05:32I make it a point, and I think many women on my team make it a point, to be very
05:35vocal about, you know, what the life is of a working mom.
05:40So, I have two kids.
05:41I have a four-year-old and a seven-year-old.
05:43Yeah, 8.30 a.m. is not a great time when you're trying to get the fucking house out the
05:50door.
05:51And, like, you know, I'm based in California.
05:53East Coast started three hours ago.
05:56Yep, yep.
05:56So, I'm, like, on a call wiping an ass.
05:59Yes.
05:59Because, you know, my four-year-old still doesn't know how to do that.
06:02Like, trying to, like, fry some bacon.
06:04Yep.
06:04And, like, get socks on.
06:06Yep.
06:06While I'm talking.
06:07Yep.
06:07On a call.
06:07So, like, that's what my morning is.
06:10Right?
06:10And, like, every day, my husband, God bless his soul, but is in the bathroom, very timely, summoning his shit,
06:19while we are doing all this in the house, in the front of the house.
06:23Yep.
06:23Okay?
06:23So, like, that's the morning.
06:25Yep.
06:26It is, you are correct.
06:27Yeah.
06:27That was not built for me.
06:29But you know what?
06:30I'm really fucking good at it.
06:32Yeah.
06:33And that's why I hire women.
06:35Mm-hmm.
06:35Because we're really good at, like, doing what I think is really the impossible.
06:41Yep.
06:41Putting on a sock, frying bacon.
06:43Yep.
06:43On a call.
06:45Right?
06:45And then, like, trying to wipe poo.
06:47Like, literally, those are my mornings.
06:49But we shouldn't be asked to do it that way.
06:51Yeah.
06:52And then I go to work.
06:53And then I go to work.
06:54Right.
06:54Right.
06:55Right.
06:55Right.
06:55That's the morning, and then I go to work.
06:56So, I think it's so important that, like, we have women in the leadership team.
07:02That we are, like, we're not, like, ducks, like, just looking placid.
07:06It's hard.
07:07It's supposed to be hard.
07:09And I love every, I hate every moment sometimes, but I know that I've spent my entire life working
07:14for the privilege of being a mom, of being a CEO, of being a partner to my husband.
07:20Right.
07:21All the things.
07:22But, like, we have to model it.
07:24We have to be open about it.
07:25And I do think, like, right, the flexibility that your workplace can offer you is really
07:31key.
07:32Yeah.
07:32I got to go at 2.30 for pickup.
07:34But I'll sign back on at 6.30 after dinner.
07:37Right.
07:38Like, I'll make it work.
07:39Right.
07:39I take calls in my car sometimes, because it's the only quiet place in the house.
07:44Like, in that flexibility, I'm not on camera a lot, because, like, I'm, like, at soccer.
07:48Right.
07:48And that just has to be what it is.
07:51And that's the only way it works for my life.
07:53And I think we have to offer that type of flexibility and support to our employees.
07:59Everyone get a job at OpenTable now.
08:02Clearly, that's the place to work.
08:04Yeah.
08:04I feel like this panel could, like, change policy.
08:07So I feel like we need to figure out when school should start.
08:09You guys tell me.
08:11We're going to write an article about a time.
08:12We're going to make it happen.
08:13Right.
08:15Switching gears slightly, Dara, I want to talk about AI with you.
08:19They get all the fun stuff.
08:20I get AI.
08:21Come on now.
08:23Girl.
08:23I was like, well, I have stories, too.
08:25All right.
08:26Let's talk about AI.
08:26Listen.
08:27Because that's what everyone here really wants to hear about AI.
08:30All right.
08:30We'll do it.
08:31We'll do it.
08:31I'll take a story if you go.
08:32We'll do it.
08:32We'll do it.
08:33We'll do it.
08:33We'll work with what we got.
08:34You know?
08:35We'll work with what we got.
08:35Well, I want to, I'll give you one and say, I want to give you a compliment in my question,
08:40which is AI is generating a skills transformation, right?
08:45And these measurements of success, these older ones are being deprioritized for creativity
08:50and critical thinking.
08:52You've called it translating complexity into something human, which I think is just an incredible
08:57way to put it.
08:58And look, as a journalist, the idea that we're talking about creativity is a wonderful thing,
09:03right?
09:04So what opportunity does AI present to help women in the workplace in terms of whether
09:10it's being a mom or, you know, being in a leadership role?
09:14It has to be helpful.
09:15Tell us about what you think.
09:16So first of all, every woman in this room should be using AI.
09:20AI is here to stay.
09:22It's here to stay.
09:23It's not going away.
09:24It's like, you know, not back in the day when computers showed up, you know, there used
09:28to be human computers.
09:29Computers are still here.
09:30That's how AI is going to be like several years from now, decades from now.
09:34AI is here to stay.
09:35And I think as women, it actually unlocks a lot of opportunity.
09:39There's opportunity for us to be increasingly more productive so we can not only be more
09:44strategic, but have time to clean poop, do whatever else we got to do, right?
09:48AI has the tremendous opportunity to help us, but it is up to us to lean into those skills.
09:55And I think one of the things that makes me a little sad is that I don't think, I think
10:00there's fear around AI.
10:03So a lot of the conversations around AI is, is it going to take jobs?
10:06Is it not going to take jobs?
10:08The reality is AI, jobs are going to change, but new opportunities are going to be created.
10:14And I want to make sure that all of us as women are there ready to capture those new
10:18opportunities.
10:19So we need to be leaning into the skills.
10:21And I think as women leaders, we need to, the onus is on us to make sure that our teams
10:26are trained.
10:27So that investment in the teams, making sure that our folks are AI proficient.
10:32Everyone should know how to build AI into their workflows.
10:37Anyone here have an AI agent they're using?
10:39All right.
10:40Well, I want every hand up.
10:42So after we go here, you know, you need to go online and read up about how to build an
10:47agent.
10:47It's very easy.
10:48You can use quad or chat GPT to build your very first agent.
10:51And my very first agent was like, how to help me be a more curious mother.
10:56Yes, because I'm Nigerian.
10:58And what that means is, you know, I have a lot of thoughts.
11:03No shortage of thoughts.
11:04So my daughter comes to me and I got a lot of thoughts.
11:07And maybe I need to start asking why.
11:09So I built an agent to help me be more curious, right, before I pass judgment.
11:14That's an example of how I'm using it at home, but I'm using it in my workplace.
11:17I also use the exact same skill at work.
11:20How can I be more curious with my teams?
11:22Instead of immediately passing judgment, how can I ask why?
11:26How can I go deeper?
11:27And guess what?
11:28The results are that much better.
11:29Because when we're curious, we introduce psychological safety.
11:33So implementing and adding AI into our workflows, using it as agents, training our teams.
11:40Because the future is going to be us as leaders, not just managing people, but managing people and AI.
11:45Now, one thing I have to say before I get off the AI soapbox, I know y'all are loving
11:49it so much, so exciting, is that I'm team human.
11:54AI is lifting the floor, but it is human ingenuity and creativity that is going to raise the ceiling.
12:02And tastemakers and the creatives are the owners of the future.
12:07So it is incredibly important that we continue to hone and protect the skills and the artists.
12:20Reshma, I know we're here to talk about women, but I have to ask you about men.
12:23Do you want to talk about men?
12:24I know.
12:25I know.
12:25I know.
12:26Part of that's because you wrote a great piece for Time about the crisis of boys being left behind, right?
12:32And we all see this in the headlines.
12:33This is part of the news every day.
12:35And, you know, we were looking at a recent study that said nearly two-thirds of Gen Z men believe
12:41gender equality hurts them.
12:42And this part surprised me.
12:44Nearly 40% of Gen Z women revealed they felt the same way.
12:48So how do you fight for equality in a world where it's not necessarily what the younger generations say that
12:53that's what they want?
12:55Yeah.
12:55I mean, listen, here's the thing.
12:57Like, we do have a crisis of masculinity in this country.
13:01It's just a fact.
13:02Men are lonelier.
13:04You know, they are not going to college at the same rates of women.
13:07You know, there's a suicide epidemic.
13:09But part of what's happened is there are folks on the far right that have said, the reason why you
13:16don't got a job, the reason why you're depressed, is because you see those women over there?
13:21We gave them too much power.
13:23And the way to lift you up is I'm going to pull them down.
13:28That is a lie.
13:29And so when we talk, because I have to address this, because I believe right now we are living in
13:36America through one of the most dangerous times it's ever been to be an American woman.
13:39And we just got to be honest about it.
13:41Girl, you said it.
13:41Okay?
13:42We just got to be honest about it.
13:44Okay?
13:45Our, you know, reproductive rights are being taken away.
13:49Programs, like, you can't find a women ERG group anymore.
13:52And you know what?
13:53We needed to gather just to be like, can you believe what they said?
13:56Right?
13:57To learn AI together.
13:58There's something about women coming in community together that has always led to our disenfranchisement and our freedom.
14:06So don't let them convince you into thinking that that is a sign of progress.
14:09It is them dismantling progress so that we can actually tell all these men that we're doing something for you.
14:16And I want to give you an example of this.
14:17In 13 states, they have made coding clubs for girls illegal.
14:22At the height of girls who code, we had 10,000 girls who code clubs across the country.
14:27I taught 760,000 girls to code.
14:29I changed the number of women graduating with computer science degrees from 18% to 45%.
14:35They didn't like that.
14:37So in the name of trying to make it equitable and talking about a meritocracy that does not exist, we
14:46have dismantled programs.
14:48We have taken off women scientists from the halls of NASA.
14:54When in Paris, in Eiffel Tower, they just added 82 scientists.
14:58So the 87 men who have been there since 1887.
15:00That's what everyone else is doing.
15:01So we've got to be really, really, really clear about where we are and where we stand before I talk
15:08about men.
15:09And now I will talk about men.
15:11Okay?
15:12Preach!
15:14So here's the thing.
15:16So part of the dismantling of women's progress in America is a strategy to turn men against us.
15:24And we need them to win.
15:26I don't want to be right.
15:27I just want to win.
15:28And we are married to a lot.
15:30I have two sons.
15:31We have men in our lives that are on the same page as we are.
15:34And they are also suffering.
15:38And so to acknowledge that suffering, to have empathy for it, doesn't take anything away from us.
15:44Don't fall for the fact that this is a zero-sum game because it's not.
15:48We are all in this together.
15:49This is about American families.
15:51This is about lifting us all up.
15:54Not us versus them.
15:55And the problem is, is we're so damn disconnected.
15:59You know, when I talk to young women today, they don't even have a friend who's a male.
16:04They don't date each other.
16:06They don't talk to each other.
16:08They don't break bread together.
16:09They don't even do other things together.
16:11Right?
16:12And that's a problem.
16:13You can't have empathy for somebody.
16:16I can't have empathy for what I'm seeing in the streets of Minnesota if I didn't know refugees like me.
16:22Right?
16:23We can't feel for one another.
16:25And that is a strategy.
16:26The algorithms, the way everything is designed, is to make us think, well, it's us versus them.
16:33And it's not.
16:34And it's hurting us.
16:35And so I make every effort that I possibly can.
16:39And it's not just because I'm the mother of sons and, you know, God gives you exactly what you can
16:43deserve.
16:44And he certainly did with me.
16:46You know?
16:48Because they teach me that it's all about love right now.
16:53It is all about coming together.
16:54And so we have got to find ways to bring men into the conversation and have empathy for one another.
17:01Or we're just as bad as they are.
17:03And I refuse to do it.
17:04I refuse to let them demean my humanity anymore.
17:13Leslie, I want to take the idea that Reshma brought up about, you know, equity initiatives being deprioritized in kind
17:20of all elements and bring it into the boardroom.
17:23You know, it might be clear to some folks in the room, but why is this bad for business, right?
17:28Like this corporate commitment crisis, what can that do for business if it's treated the right way?
17:33I mean, we could cite data all day, right?
17:36Years and years of data now show that, you know, more diverse boards, leadership teams, et cetera, are better for
17:42business.
17:42So you can look at all the data.
17:43But there are a few things for why it's important.
17:46It's necessary for survival as an organization in this day.
17:50So if you are not opening up opportunities for women in your companies, they will leave.
17:56If you are, there was a study I read, I want to say it was the World Economic Forum recently,
18:00that was talking about companies who are facing successful companies, highly, not startups,
18:05highly successful companies that face sort of downturns or long periods of, you know, momentum is shifting.
18:11They will win long term if they have more diverse leadership teams.
18:15So there is so much there.
18:16It is necessary for survival.
18:18It is not a nice to have.
18:19There is enough data out there that shows if you want to survive.
18:22And that makes complete sense, right?
18:23If you're going through a company that's successful, and then all of a sudden it's going through a rift where
18:27something different is happening,
18:28if you have the same leadership team trying to make decisions when circumstances around you have changed,
18:33you have no diversity of opinion there, right?
18:35So it is, if you want to survive as a company, it's a necessity.
18:39Right.
18:39You need those voices.
18:42Debbie, I want to quote you to you.
18:44Oh, I love that.
18:45Yes.
18:46Drop some knowledge.
18:47All right.
18:49My job is to cultivate a team of people who don't think like me.
18:53When I'm not the smartest person in the room and people are challenging my assumptions, that's when we make our
18:58best decisions.
18:59I think that's a really powerful statement.
19:02What in your background has led you to this strategy and how has it played out in your life, at
19:06home and at work?
19:09I think I grew up, you know, I'm the only child of immigrant parents from Taiwan.
19:13My parents were very clueless about the American education system.
19:17Their English wasn't great.
19:18But my mom was really great about advocating for me.
19:22And so in middle school, she sent me to a private school for gifted and talented kids.
19:28And from then on, you know, I was in a group of students or peer group where people were very,
19:34very smart.
19:35I always felt like the dumbest person in the room.
19:40And each achievement I would get, right, whether that be getting into the college of my choice or getting that
19:46first job or, you know, getting that promotion, the narrative in my head was always, well, I'm working really hard.
19:53And, like, I'm getting really lucky.
19:57But it's not because I'm smart.
19:59So I've never felt like I was the smartest in the room from a very young age.
20:05And instead of that being, like, a chink in my armor or a chip on my shoulder, now, as, you
20:11know, I'm leading a company, I'm realizing, like, the fact that I have no ego about being the smartest one,
20:18because I know I'm not, is a good thing.
20:20Because I'm really open to and openly accept that there are people who see things that I don't see, who
20:28are more talented in ways that I'm not.
20:31And the question, right, like, the insecure Chinese girl that grew up with immigrant parents, poor, always is, like, well,
20:38do I belong in this room?
20:40And why do they follow me?
20:42All these people who I think are way smarter than me, why are they in here with me?
20:47And I think, like, it's taken me, I'm 45, it's taken me a really long time to figure out, like,
20:53what, you know, when they interview, like, what's your superpower?
20:56Like, in Silicon Valley, they ask that shit a lot.
20:59And so I don't want to use that.
21:01But I think what I'm really good at is I'm really good at telling stories.
21:06I'm really good at painting a vision.
21:09And I'm great at getting people to, like, believe and follow that vision or that story or me.
21:15So that I bring, I think my role is I bring people together in service of a greater calling of
21:22what, you know, in this case, OpenTable is trying to do.
21:24I'm not the best at math, you know?
21:27Like, I can't code to save my fucking life.
21:30You know?
21:31Now I don't need to.
21:32I'm coding.
21:32You know?
21:33I've been on that clod, you know?
21:36Still not great.
21:38But you know what I mean?
21:39And that's okay.
21:40Like, I have to know about these things.
21:42I have to practice them, to Dara's point.
21:44But it's okay that I'm not best in class.
21:47Because I know what I'm best in class in.
21:49And it's a special thing.
21:51And you have to practice.
21:53And that's the value add that I bring.
21:54And I think once you, like, know your power, everything else kind of just settles down.
22:00Right?
22:01Wow.
22:07Dara, my last question for you.
22:09Is this a fun one?
22:10Yeah.
22:11Yeah.
22:11It's a fun one.
22:12It's a fun one.
22:12I actually moved one away to end us on a fun one.
22:15Just for you.
22:16So you are proudly a successful working parent.
22:20In your mind, what's the most important thing that any company could do to help a caregiver thrive?
22:26And that could be a mom, a dad, an aunt, an uncle, anyone.
22:29What could they do?
22:30I think to the point that Reshma provided, you know, it's really important to design the system to work for
22:37everyone.
22:38So when I first, I've actually never shared this publicly, but I don't know.
22:42I'm just feeling like, I'm like, yeah, I'm feeling the vibe and the energy.
22:46I'm like, you guys, I'm like, all my new best friends.
22:48Let's just talk about it.
22:49Let's gab.
22:51You know, the very first time I got pregnant, I was excited.
22:55Because it was something I was looking forward to, something I wanted.
22:57But immediately after that excitement, my second feeling was fear.
23:03I'm ashamed to say it, but it was fear.
23:05Because I was worried.
23:07I said, what's going to happen to my career?
23:11I had just started a big new job.
23:14And I was genuinely worried.
23:16I was like on the track.
23:17I was like, I know I'm going to be a CMI.
23:19I know I'm going to make it.
23:20And I was like, this is going to do well.
23:21I thought to myself, they're going to think I'm not serious.
23:26They're going to take my team and give it to another team.
23:29And then I paused.
23:31And I said, if I, who I'm senior, I'm feeling this, what about the other women?
23:38What about the individual contributors?
23:41What about those in middle management?
23:44And it made me rethink how systems work.
23:47Fortunately, I was at an organization that provides leave and provides care.
23:52And I'll never forget walking into my boss's office.
23:56And this is why I talk about, I love that men are on this journey with us.
24:00Because sponsors, at the end of the day, representation shows you the door.
24:05Sponsors open the door.
24:07And sometimes, many of the times, the sponsors in my life have been men that have opened the door.
24:13White men that have opened the door.
24:16And mentors help you walk through it confidently.
24:18And I'll never forget walking into Brad's office really nervous to tell him I'm pregnant.
24:25And he was so happy for me.
24:28He was so excited.
24:29I said, well, let's think of all the things, all the wins we're going to get on the board before
24:33you get out,
24:33go for maternity leave.
24:34And when you come back, all the wins you're going to continue to push
24:37so that we have the 100-day plan ready for you when you get back.
24:39But just that motivation, that inspiration made me feel confident and comfortable.
24:45And so I think as businesses, providing the psychological safety for women and the systems.
24:51So it's not enough to just have the systems.
24:53We also have to have the psychological safety so that people feel comfortable.
24:58And we need to make sure that we see that through every level of the organization.
25:01And the more we have women leaders, working parents, in senior positions,
25:06I think it gives people the space to know I can do it too.
25:09It makes them understand I don't have to be afraid.
25:12And I love the point you made, I don't have to choose.
25:14Because at the end of the day, what is true success as a woman?
25:18Freedom of choice to make the decisions that are best for us.
25:29I can't think of a better note to end on than that.
25:32Thank you, ladies.
25:33Appreciate the inspiration, all the laughs.
25:36Have a good rest of your day.
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