00:06I die.
00:08It's very nice to see you.
00:13Schwarzenegger.
00:14You guys looking for the golden child?
00:191980s, Eddie Murphy movie.
00:20Nobody saw it, no?
00:30You made me ask twice.
00:32Is the mask muffling my voice?
00:36I'm going to want to move our relationship completely to text and phone calls.
00:40No FaceTime. No time around that face.
00:43Your head looks like some sort of crystal that you would see at a two-bit psychic.
00:50Can I touch it?
00:52I know I'm 35 years too old for you, but how do I look?
00:57You look like somebody turned your face inside out and then just left it like that, but then you got
01:02in a house fire.
01:03God, you look like a house fire was in another house fire.
01:08Wait, you look like a trash can full of shit was placed on your shoulders and then you were in
01:14a train fire.
01:15My stuntman's about to fuck you up.
01:25Get Gita back. Fuck Bandu.
01:27Fuck him?
01:30No!
01:31Oh, not literally.
01:34What'd you expect? Weapon X? You squirmy little pig.
01:40It's like a good question.
01:41Meet new and exciting people and then...
01:43Killing them.
01:44Yeah, I've seen your Instagram. You still don't follow me.
01:47Big weasel guns?
01:49I can't do this.
01:51That's the exit.
01:54Hey, get a little brighter.
01:56I didn't like your challenge.
01:57Think leprechaun.
01:59That's what I said.
02:01Leprechaun.
02:03What?
02:04All right, let's go.
02:08Fuck you, Tim Miller.
02:09This is going to be really slow.
02:16I feel like we've all had quite enough.
02:19You look like Shrek took a shit on your neck.
02:23You look like the inside of other people's assholes.
02:29This is the least confusing erection I've ever had.
02:32Oh, shit.
02:33The drinks are not on weight.
02:35Use the money for sex.
02:37Not for friendship.
02:41One, one, right at the end.
02:46Fuck!
02:49I can't get out.
02:51My old boyfriend, he's dead.
02:54Yeah.
02:55Oops.
02:59I know, right?
03:00Sweet suit.
03:01It's made from over 9,000 individually wrapped Jewish toffees.
03:06I really don't know what I'm saying right now.
03:10Where's my baby boy?
03:11What happened to my little boy, my beautiful baby boy?
03:16You got to know when to hold them.
03:20Know when to fold them.
03:22Know when to walk away.
03:25Know when to run.
03:26Dead fool.
03:28Yeah, that's right.
03:28I can't wait to join the gang.
03:31Can't wait to give the beast a nice little belly rub.
03:34It's going to be great.
03:35Yeah, I can't wait to move in.
03:36Who doesn't love rich mahogany?
03:38Seriously, it's called the X-Men.
03:40I mean, there are women here, right?
03:43It's very sexist.
03:44I know, right?
03:45Put the little nut down.
03:47Thank you, lesbian commander.
03:49We have everything we need now.
03:51Thank you.
03:52You don't have everything you need.
03:54You're missing black hats, 1980s burglars.
03:58Tell the rest of the trench coat mafia that they look better in a trench coat than the two of
04:01you.
04:02He looks like that guy from Lord of the Rings if he had gotten cancer.
04:05You're the size of Gollum, but with worse taste in fashion.
04:08Sputnik!
04:10Let's fucking go!
04:11Andele, andele, you big silver sex toy!
04:15You tampon-chewing, glistening communist fuck!
04:19Let's go!
04:21Dr. Phil can wait!
04:22You can watch the Matthew McConaughey Lincoln commercials later, you communist fuck!
04:27Watch your hair on the way out, sweetie.
04:29It's low clearance.
04:30Yeah, I didn't know Miley Cyrus joined The Cure, huh?
04:33If you bring your son back, make sure he has ID.
04:36The little one looked like Justin Bieber face fucked Miley Cyrus' haircut.
04:41You're gonna leave me all alone here with ChristianMinkle.com?
04:44You're gonna leave me all alone here with Kevin Sorbo?
04:46Girl, you're gonna leave me here all alone with Nikki Sixx?
04:49You're gonna leave me all alone here with Busta Rhymes?
04:51You're gonna leave me all alone here with Henry Winkler?
04:54You're gonna leave me all alone here with, hey, you guys!
04:57You're gonna leave me all alone here with Criss Angel Mind Freak?
05:00You're gonna leave me all alone here with less angry Rosie O'Donnell?
05:06Sorry, Gina.
05:09Motherfucker.
05:11Like a young Kirk Cameron.
05:14You're not wearing any pants.
05:16Where'd you hide that?
05:18Uh, nowhere.
05:19They say, um, they, oh, I wouldn't do that.
05:22Happy Lyme Disease Awareness Day.
05:24Remember, that's one of the day.
05:26Thank you.
05:28Set.
05:31Oh, fuck.
05:32You all right?
05:33Happy Alanis Morissette Day.
05:35Thanks, baby.
05:36What are you gonna say to her?
05:37God damn it!
05:38Now, you should leave with a joke.
05:40You know, something tasteful, but it also alludes to her pussy.
05:43You might want to leave the room.
05:45Because I bet it feels huge in this hand.
05:49Or stay.
05:51Let's go next level with this shit.
05:54Oh.
06:00Easy.
06:01Easy.
06:02Come on, get cut.
06:03No, no.
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