00:00Because there's anyone here planning on getting divorced?
00:03Yeah?
00:04For real?
00:05Yeah.
00:06Okay.
00:10It was a rhetorical question, but fuck it, why not?
00:14Do you have kids?
00:15No.
00:17I quit.
00:18What?
00:18I'm 20.
00:19You're 20?
00:20Oh my god.
00:21What age did you get married at?
00:2420.
00:32Wow.
00:36How, how, how old was this?
00:39Uh, Jimmy, it was on my birthday.
00:41It was on your birthday?
00:42Yeah.
00:42Okay, Jimmy, you're gonna make it to the next one.
00:45Uh, uh, what, what, okay, how old were you together before you got married?
00:50Uh, we, we got in fifth grade.
00:53In fifth grade?
00:54So then, she did wait.
00:58If anything, he took too long to propose.
01:02You meant-
01:03No, no, no, no.
01:04She and I propose.
01:06Oh, she, no, you propose.
01:07Oh, forgive me.
01:08I, I forgot my audience.
01:10I should've, honestly, honestly, when I can't see, I should just assume and say gender until proven otherwise.
01:20Sure.
01:21So fifth grade, uh, the two of you, both, both, what?
01:26Yeah, uh, so I think it's fair to say you can't, like, legally adopt another person to be your siblings,
01:31so we decided-
01:31Yeah, that's fair to say.
01:33What did you, what the fuck did you do that you said?
01:36Did you say it's fair to say you can't legally adopt someone if you're siblings?
01:40No, that doesn't matter as your sibling.
01:43Like, to make them legally your siblings.
01:44Oh, yeah.
01:45They're best friends.
01:46Oh, your best friends.
01:47Yeah, no, you can't do that.
01:51And your parents could.
01:53I don't know why.
01:55Um, but you're all getting best friends.
01:57Yeah.
01:57Yeah, but, but, but, but why?
02:00Um, well, we, we both are, like, very, we're both interested in eventually probably, we're gonna have to, like, marry
02:08other people that were, like, romantic.
02:11Okay, I-
02:17Wait, okay, we, let, let me, let me steer the conversation because when you take it, I'm so confused.
02:26You don't have to do anything you don't want to.
02:28To your friends.
02:31To your friends.
02:31So, so to be funny.
02:32What?
02:33Like this.
02:33Like this very funny.
02:34Like this.
02:35I'm not asking like this.
02:36Were you like this?
02:41I think you're like this.
02:44Did you ever, was it ever sexual or romantic in nature?
02:48No.
02:48No.
02:49Okay.
02:49Great.
02:50We've established that.
02:51Now let's get to the marriage part.
02:55So, so, you propose.
02:58Yeah.
02:58May I, may I ask, uh, why?
03:03Maybe you have a good idea.
03:05I'll propose to Russell tomorrow.
03:10So you, what, what would make you want to propose?
03:13We're practicing practically siblings.
03:15Yeah, I have siblings.
03:18And I love them, but not that much.
03:21They're half siblings too, so I could probably get away with it.
03:27Well, but, okay, I understand, I understand you were close, but what, what, what, what was marriage gonna bring to
03:32you that you didn't already have as friends?
03:34Um, uh.
03:37No, no, no.
03:37You could've just thrown a party together.
03:41Was there a priest?
03:43Uh, no, we did have some of her names.
03:45You did have some of her names.
03:46And in what language did they use?
03:48Do you take her...
03:50No.
03:51A male witch.
03:52Oh?
03:54What did you just say?
03:55Male witch from the Princess Bride.
03:57Male witch.
03:58What are they referencing right now?
04:00The Princess Bride?
04:02What happened?
04:03A male, a male witch?
04:05Male witch.
04:08I hear a male witch, which, by the way, would make sense.
04:12But, what...
04:13It's marriage, but a W instead of the R's, basically.
04:16Male witch.
04:19Male witch.
04:21Male witch.
04:22Female witch.
04:22Female witch.
04:23Male witch.
04:26Male witch.
04:27Male witch.
04:28I have to take an older I get, the more religion makes sense.
04:31And I'm like...
04:35Female witch.
04:37I'm pronouncing that incorrectly enough.
04:42Male witch.
04:45Male witch.
04:46You had this marriage, and I, I...
04:50What, so what happened is that you're getting divorced this year.
04:53Not this year.
04:56When?
04:58What?
04:59I'm probably just, probably at some point.
05:01At some point.
05:04Can I ask, are you going on dates now?
05:07I'm their girlfriend, hi.
05:10Hi.
05:16And just to be clear, now we're talking sexually, you're not like, you're not like a side friend.
05:26So, okay, when she told you about, I, I met the best friend, I was all for it, I, you
05:33know, I thought it was me.
05:34Excuse me, he made me, he made me, you know.
05:37Okay, was there any part of you that was like, oh no, I'm, I'm breaking up a home.
05:43What would you call it, a woam?
05:49How long have you two been together?
05:51Two years.
05:52Two years.
05:53So, so, do you, do you, it's too early, I don't know who this is apart from.
05:57No, no, it's okay.
05:58But there, there, there is a conceivable world where you could get married someday.
06:02Yeah, after college is my goal.
06:04Oh, good for you.
06:12And, is that going to be a sad day, are you able to file him for divorce?
06:17We've already decided on being as dramatic as possible.
06:24Good, good.
06:27What does that mean to you?
06:28What's the dramatic ending of the platonic friendship approach?
06:34A very large, hot, like a swishable, sort of like night down, and then like being very, like, like.
06:43Like, tell him about his tie.
06:45Yeah.
06:45Tell him about his tie.
06:46Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:57I don't know, it's like you're LARPing marriage in a different way.
07:00And, I don't, do you think she'd come to the, your second marriage?
07:19Absolutely.
07:20Absolutely.
07:21That's, that's, that's not, that's not dramatic enough.
07:26I, uh, I, I, I support it.
07:33But I've got to tell you, if there's anything, my, my girlfriend's been trying for a long time,
07:38and I think this conversation has, more than anything else, made me believe in traditional marriage.
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