00:00Donald Trump announced that he will release all government documents on aliens.
00:04It's part of a larger project called Anything But The Epstein Files.
00:12The release comes after a viral podcast clip where Obama claimed there were no aliens in Area 51.
00:22But later on Air Force One, Trump claimed there were until he had them shipped to El Salvador.
00:34While Trump hasn't confirmed the existence of aliens, we do have lots of proof he's had many close encounters of
00:42the non-consensual kind.
00:51There's more.
00:55Speaking of Jeffrey Epstein,
00:58Thanks to his connection to Jeffrey Epstein,
01:01Prince Andrew was arrested Thursday and placed in handcuffs.
01:06When asked for comment, the prince said,
01:08I didn't know they made them this big.
01:20In Olympic news, Israel's first ever bobsled team came in last place.
01:28Yeah.
01:29But when does it ever matter to them who came first?
01:39Can I just say, they came in last place, but the team pilot, he said,
01:44he said, we're very proud.
01:46Israel is in the Olympics, baby.
01:48Here's the thing.
01:51I could have come in last place.
01:56We all could have come.
01:57So at a certain point, it kind of, it almost feels anti-Semitic in some way to be like,
02:01a Jew did a sport.
02:06On Friday, Norway broke the record for most gold medals won by a nation at a single Winter Olympics.
02:13No one was more shocked than the Australian team who could be heard screaming,
02:17Norway.
02:26I was going to try to do a joke about that fucking punch the monkey,
02:29but I was getting death threats for my treats.
02:35Do you know Punch the Monkey?
02:35Have you seen Punch the Monkey?
02:37It's this little monkey that's being bullied.
02:39Its mom abandoned him, and now he has like a stuffed orangutan doll,
02:43and there's all these videos where all the other monkeys are bullying him,
02:46and people feel bad.
02:47And I'm like, yeah, maybe he'd have more friends if he stopped playing with fucking dolls.
02:59I don't know, if he didn't want to get bullied, his mom shouldn't have named him Punch the Monkey.
03:05Oh, right, she abandoned him.
03:09More than 40 measles cases have been reported at Florida's Ave Maria University,
03:15which is also what will be sung at their funerals.
03:24RFK's got a plan, guys.
03:27Don't think of it like he's helped spreading measles.
03:29Think of it as he's employing singers.
03:37Speaking of RFK, people are loving Ryan Murphy's new show, Love Story,
03:43about the tumultuous romance between JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessette's relationship,
03:48starring RFK Jr. as JFK's corpse.
03:56I'm sure Ryan Murphy is already working on a show about RFK Jr.
04:00It will be the first English-speaking show with English subtitles.
04:08In a recent interview, LeBron James said when it comes to Israel,
04:11he's heard nothing but good things.
04:17I can understand if he's not familiar with a lot of geopolitics,
04:21but I'm not familiar with the NBA.
04:22I would never be like, I've heard nothing but good things about Bronny James.
04:27While 88-year-old billionaire Les Wexner was being deposed about his ties to Jeffrey Epstein,
04:34a hot mic caught his lawyer whispering to him,
04:36I'll fucking kill you if you answer another question with more than five words.
04:43And I gotta say, when it comes to Epstein,
04:46it's nice to see some elder abuse for a change.
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