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00:00:06The End
00:00:39The End
00:01:14Ladies and gentlemen, members of the faculty, graduating students,
00:01:20it is our privilege to award, for the first time, a doctorate in psychology, languages,
00:01:30and the natural and physical sciences to one man.
00:01:36Artemis P. Goodluck.
00:01:45This guy's an imposter, huh?
00:02:01Syringe.
00:02:02Scalpel.
00:02:05Swab.
00:02:09Uh-oh.
00:02:10Uh-oh.
00:02:12Uh-oh.
00:02:13Uh-oh.
00:02:16Uh-oh.
00:02:30Uh-oh.
00:02:31Uh-oh.
00:02:33Uh-oh.
00:02:34Father?
00:02:35Yes?
00:02:36Father Goodluck?
00:02:38Yes, my child.
00:02:40You're under arrest.
00:02:41Shit!
00:02:42You're under arrest.
00:02:48Artemis P. Goodluck, a defraud veterinarian, but with a genius to be much more, has earned
00:02:55the moniker Professor.
00:02:57Now, after several temporary setbacks, he will gather about him other men of vision and greed,
00:03:03who will follow him on a daring caper, a caper that will go down in history as a monument
00:03:09to his genius.
00:03:22Cornelius C. McKay, 29, otherwise known as Corncob McKay, son of a tenant farmer from Mudgett
00:03:29Valley.
00:03:29Corncob has risen to the position of underpaid midnight to morning disc jockey on Centerville's
00:03:35loan station, W-O-W-E, WOW-E.
00:03:39Today, Corncob's mind is on a fateful meeting to be held with a professor that will permanently
00:03:44change his lifestyle.
00:03:47Start your baby off right in life with a gentle touch, the touch of Dunby, Dunby's throwaway
00:03:53diapers for mothers who want the best for their child.
00:04:18Sarah Sue Fenway, 22, a former go-go girl at the Twin Bumps cocktail lounge just over the
00:04:24Johnson County line, got tired feet and decided to lie down on the job.
00:04:29She now resides at Big Bertha's massage parlor and has become Bertha's most trusted girl.
00:04:35Every night she comes over to the radio station, bringing with her commercial announcements of
00:04:39Big Bertha's specials of the day.
00:04:42During this time, she and Corncob have fallen madly in love.
00:04:46Very soon, Corncob will put this love to the acid test.
00:04:51Hey, now that was a Jim Dandy, wasn't it?
00:04:53Deserves to be right up there on the top.
00:04:56Listen, this here next sound is really something else.
00:05:00It's by a new group, and they are really going to make it one of these days.
00:05:06They're going to rise right up to the top.
00:05:09Hey, hey, will you cut that out?
00:05:11Well, where have you been, Sarah Sue?
00:05:13You were supposed to be here with these things five hours ago.
00:05:15Well, we got real busy just as I was setting on leaving.
00:05:18A bunch of hearses pulled up and deposited morticians from that convention.
00:05:22A real weird bunch, I tell you.
00:05:25I couldn't leave Bertha during the rush.
00:05:27Well, I don't want to hear about it.
00:05:28I'll talk now, Corncob.
00:05:32Well, I don't like you working there.
00:05:33I imagine you and all those men and everything.
00:05:36Didn't you know anything?
00:05:37I just did the job, all right?
00:05:40I love you, Corncob.
00:05:42I know, but I...
00:05:44I was...
00:05:49I was...
00:05:50I was...
00:05:50I was...
00:05:51I was...
00:05:51I was...
00:05:51I was...
00:05:52I was...
00:05:52I was...
00:05:52I was...
00:05:53I was...
00:06:02I was...
00:06:03I was...
00:06:03I was...
00:06:03I was...
00:06:04I was...
00:06:05I was...
00:06:05I was...
00:06:06I was...
00:06:07I was...
00:06:08I was...
00:06:09I was...
00:06:09Rufus T. Oxhammer, 39, moonshiner and part-time farmer,
00:06:15has decided to leave his wife and nine children
00:06:17in order to join the professor and start a new career.
00:06:21A career of crime.
00:06:30Rufus T.
00:06:31Roots T.
00:06:46Roots T.
00:06:47All right, Rufus T.
00:06:48You get down out of that car and you get back up to this school.
00:06:54Well, I've had it. I've had it. I ain't staying no more.
00:07:14This is Jethro Jenkins with your morning farm and home hour.
00:07:19But first, some news about the fertilizer.
00:07:22What?
00:07:24Fertilizer is in short supply.
00:07:28And prices...
00:07:29What?
00:07:30Major manufacturers say that frostbred prices were just raised...
00:07:35Wilbur, where are you going now? Where are you going?
00:07:39Wilbur?
00:07:40Wilbur, why are you digging out like this? Where are you going?
00:07:43Where are you going, Wilbur?
00:07:46What?
00:07:48Wilbur, will you stop making motions with that silly bird?
00:07:51And answer your mother when she speaks to you?
00:07:56Ma?
00:07:59Ma! Wilbur, you dumbass!
00:08:01Oh, shut up, Lady Bird.
00:08:03Ma!
00:08:04You're all back.
00:08:05Now, Wilbur, why are you sneaking out like this?
00:08:08I didn't want to wake you, Ma.
00:08:10Well, that is obvious. And why didn't you want to wake me?
00:08:15I've got to get to work early today.
00:08:17It's for taking stock day.
00:08:19Oh, well, why didn't you say so in the first place?
00:08:22Well, go ahead and be quiet about it.
00:08:25Yes, Ma.
00:08:36Yes, Ma.
00:08:38No, Ma.
00:08:39Martha, Mary, Sarah, Sonia, Phyllis, Lady Bird, Peony, Millie.
00:08:44Oh, women!
00:08:45Wilbur Varnish, 35, and colorblind.
00:08:50Only male child of faith than Wil Varnish,
00:08:53has been employed as a clerk at a Centerville hardware store.
00:08:56His life has been ruled by women,
00:08:59from his mother and four sisters to the female parent.
00:09:09Hey, Wilbur, where are you going?
00:09:11Mama, Wilbur's getting away!
00:09:14Wilbur, you come back here!
00:09:16Mama, Wilbur's getting away!
00:09:18Wilbur, you come back here!
00:09:19Wilbur, where are you going?
00:09:20Mama, he's got his suitcases!
00:09:25What a car!
00:09:26What?
00:09:28Would you cut that foolishness out and come on?
00:09:31I can't, I can't!
00:09:33I can't wait on you all day!
00:09:34Come on, I'm late already!
00:09:36Why'd he slam that door in my face?
00:09:37I didn't mean to slam a door in your face!
00:09:39Oh, Bentley, then I saw you slam it on purpose!
00:09:42Sarah Sue, will you come on?
00:09:43I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!
00:09:45Now, come on!
00:09:46You own fault!
00:09:47Oh, my God, I don't have my car, Sarah Sue.
00:09:49Look, you'll have to take me down to Gus's fellow station.
00:09:51I will not!
00:09:52Sarah Sue, you've got to take me down to Gus's fellow station.
00:09:54I've got to get my car.
00:09:55It's been sick for about two weeks now.
00:09:56Your fancy car's been sick every day!
00:09:58Every day!
00:09:58Just take me to Gus's fellow station!
00:10:00You're getting tired of it!
00:10:01Well, I'm tired of it too!
00:10:02That's all!
00:10:16Well, I'm tired of it too!
00:10:21That's all!
00:10:22Are you sure you're dead?
00:10:23No!
00:10:24I ain't seen him neither!
00:10:31Wonder where he could be!
00:10:33No!
00:10:34Oh, no!
00:10:39Maybe we'd better wait inside!
00:10:40That's a good idea!
00:10:42Yeah!
00:10:51Gentlemen!
00:10:53Come in!
00:10:54Come in!
00:10:56Yes, sir!
00:10:58Close the door!
00:11:14Gentlemen!
00:11:16I have gathered you here this morning because we are at last ready to pull the biggest caper of my
00:11:23career.
00:11:26You go to cat houses, Professor?
00:11:30I am acquainted with every great madam in this country.
00:11:34More important, I know who her best customers are.
00:11:38Golly!
00:11:39Golly!
00:11:42Golly!
00:11:49Golly!
00:11:53Golly!
00:12:07Golly!
00:12:08Big Bertha!
00:12:10Big Bertha!
00:12:10Massage parlor?
00:12:22Big Bertha, alias Bertha Kowalski, owner and operator of Big Bertha's Massage Emporium, unable to follow her ambition to become
00:12:32a ballet dancer, hung up her size 14 slippers.
00:12:36many years ago Savannah Morgan a former assembly line worker from poker bluff
00:12:46who was asked to leave town after a scandal involving the whole fire
00:12:50department Priscilla Bacon a student at the university has been working part
00:12:56time at Bertha's she is a health food fanatic with a dream a dream of her own
00:13:01organic health food shop Veronica Paisley age unknown origin unknown education unknown
00:13:11former employment unknown in fact Veronica has spoken very little since she came to Bertha's
00:13:18for some unknown reason Veronica drives men wild strange sounds come from her room
00:13:25and her customers emerge totally wrecked the working arrangements are simple you work weekends
00:13:32and holidays but you get one whole week off every month the only reason nobody's off this
00:13:39week is because of morticians being in town we don't tend to have any tricks not if they're decent
00:13:47but we don't stand for any rough stuff if you get a crazy trying to do your physical harm
00:13:51kick him in the balls start screaming and we'll all come running keep our good name most of the
00:13:57respected men in town are my customers the sheriff the judge most of the upstanding politicians
00:14:06even Gordy Forrest the banker you all bank with him no uh all the girls including myself we keep our
00:14:15savings here no safer place honey besides Bertha keeps it safe for us like i always say
00:14:24it takes a lot of laying to make a nest egg but i got a safe in the back it
00:14:29would take a genius to crack
00:14:31really what kind is it it's a mosler safe gentlemen circa 1929 very fine safe
00:14:42but not fine enough a gentleman please your seats i must leave shortly
00:14:54professor there's a lot about this that i just don't understand
00:14:58that's exactly the way i want it corncob the less anyone knows the less he will think for himself and
00:15:05the less likely the mistakes you will only be told parts of this plan and if that is not good
00:15:11enough
00:15:11for you gentlemen then you should resign from this project does anyone wish to resign no professor i i
00:15:20guess i trust you me too professor i never said anything good then we're ready for stage number one
00:15:28casing the joint windows where the safe is located list of rooms being used saturday nights regular
00:15:36clientele etc and and so forth well i can't go sarah sue never would understand that won't you send
00:15:43old wilbur wilbur done never had himself a woman before we need someone with experience right professor
00:15:53me yes ma'am the professor is here are you ready in a minute
00:16:01professor the smell of the hunter is all over you i know it's all in my pores all the juices
00:16:08come
00:16:09oozing out like i always say it takes a tiger to tame a pussycat but for now the thief professor
00:16:17oh
00:16:17certainly my dear i would gladly pay 10 times this petty stipend for an hour with you
00:16:29i bet you would i just bet you would perhaps one day professor perhaps one day till then my lovely
00:16:40i'm ready i'm ready but for now happy hunting you naughty boy
00:17:10i want to see you wait a minute wait for me
00:17:26Oh
00:17:55Oh
00:18:39There you are gentlemen
00:18:41Big Bertha's massage parlor
00:18:44Everything we will need to know
00:18:46Plus a list of Saturday night regulars
00:18:48Which includes the sheriff
00:18:49And
00:18:51Our illustrious mayor
00:18:52The mayor?
00:18:54None other
00:18:56What did I tell you?
00:18:58Now here are your code names
00:19:00And decoders
00:19:01Uh
00:19:03Rufus is
00:19:04Possum Pete
00:19:07Wilbur is Aligator Al
00:19:10Corncob is Midnight Mauler
00:19:12I myself am
00:19:14Silent Summer
00:19:15Even the getaway car has been given a nom de plume
00:19:19Moonshine special
00:19:20I may keep my name for good
00:19:23From this day on
00:19:24You must listen
00:19:25For coded messages and instructions
00:19:28Sir what is it we're gonna be listening to?
00:19:31To the radio
00:19:33Mr. Corncob McKay's Midnight to Dawn show
00:19:36I'm a message sender
00:19:39Rufus
00:19:39Will you have the car ready?
00:19:41Oh juiced up and ready to fly
00:19:43Wilbur
00:19:46Wilbur
00:19:48Alligator Al
00:19:49Yes sir
00:19:49Oh glad to see you're thinking boy
00:19:51Have you got everything we need from the store?
00:19:53Oh I got everything on the way
00:19:54Good
00:19:54Wirecourters
00:19:55Fine
00:19:55Wonderful
00:19:56Excellent
00:19:58Alligator
00:19:59Now Corncob
00:20:00For the next phase of your mission
00:20:02Yes sir
00:20:03You are to arrange
00:20:04A most crucial rendezvous
00:20:06Which will set stage number two into motion
00:20:09Uh
00:20:10Who do you want to meet professor?
00:20:18Wow
00:20:20Chief White Eagle in sail
00:20:22On highway 79
00:20:23Chief White Eagle and his braves
00:20:26Speed towards Centerville
00:20:27With two big hits on the charts
00:20:29They are now one of the hottest country
00:20:31And western groups in the USA
00:20:33Little do they know
00:20:34That they are part of the professor's cunning scheme
00:20:37A scheme that will soon catapult them
00:20:40To the headlines of today's newspapers
00:20:42Welcome to Centerville
00:20:43Chief White Eagle
00:20:44I just wish you folks could see the chief here
00:20:47In his regal colorful headdress
00:20:48And sitting right behind him
00:20:50Are his Indian braves
00:20:51Hmm
00:20:51Haven't heard a word out of them
00:20:53Since I came in
00:20:54They
00:20:55Have taken
00:20:56Vows of silence
00:20:57It is part
00:20:59Of the marriage
00:21:00Of authentic
00:21:01Indian songs
00:21:02And country western music
00:21:04This
00:21:05Is a spiritual
00:21:07Mystic
00:21:08Happening
00:21:09And you intend to bring that
00:21:11Live to the Centerville area
00:21:13This weekend?
00:21:14City
00:21:14Just past the drive-in
00:21:16Theater
00:21:17I believe
00:21:18That's route 79
00:21:19Right
00:21:20I would like to mention
00:21:22At this time
00:21:23That Saturday
00:21:25Is my birthday
00:21:27Well listen how old
00:21:28I would like to give
00:21:30To the first 20 couples
00:21:32Who show up
00:21:33A real Indian relic
00:21:36And an autographed copy
00:21:38Of my songbook
00:21:40Chief White Eagle
00:21:43Against a Coyote
00:21:46That's the one with the picture
00:21:49That's the one with the picture
00:21:49Close up
00:21:50Showing my eyes
00:21:52Ready
00:21:52To stare down the enemy
00:21:57It retails
00:21:59For two dollars
00:22:01And fifty cents
00:22:02Yeah well
00:22:03In better stores
00:22:05Well just what kind of Indian relic
00:22:08Are you talking about
00:22:08Chief
00:22:09Feathers
00:22:09Indians
00:22:11Feathers
00:22:12All colors
00:22:13Red
00:22:14Blue
00:22:16Green
00:22:17All colors
00:22:22If anyone
00:22:23Can't make it
00:22:24To the Moonlight Inn
00:22:25I will be appearing
00:22:28At Clifford's record store
00:22:30Right
00:22:30From noon
00:22:31Till 2pm
00:22:32On Saturday
00:22:33To autograph copies
00:22:35Of my album
00:22:36And songbook
00:22:37Right
00:22:38Which are supposed
00:22:39To be on sale there
00:22:41Well thank you Chief
00:22:42For your kind generosity
00:22:44In letting us speak with you
00:22:45I just thank you so much
00:22:46All speaking
00:22:48Is a song
00:22:51Yes
00:22:53Well
00:22:54Chief I wondered
00:22:55If maybe you and your braves
00:22:56Might give us
00:22:57Just a little bit
00:22:58Of your theme song
00:22:59Before you leave
00:23:00Certainly
00:23:01I'd be happy to
00:23:03Good
00:23:03Hit it boys
00:23:30Good
00:23:30Chief
00:23:31Good
00:23:31We're just about running
00:23:32Running out of time
00:23:33And I just want to tell you
00:23:34That we all really enjoyed that
00:23:36Really did
00:23:38Thank you
00:23:39I also want to tell
00:23:42All the people
00:23:43Who can't make it
00:23:44To the Moonlight Inn
00:23:46Or to the record shop
00:23:48And
00:23:49Especially
00:23:50All the shut-ins
00:23:52Yes
00:23:53All those shut-ins
00:23:55Who are
00:23:57Shut-in
00:23:58That
00:23:59You will be able
00:24:01To get
00:24:02Your free feather
00:24:03And songbook
00:24:05And songbook
00:24:05By writing
00:24:06For my new album
00:24:08To
00:24:09Everybody get your pencil
00:24:42Okay
00:24:42Chief White Eagle
00:24:42I don't live here anymore
00:24:44Well Chief I want to wish you
00:24:46A very successful engagement
00:24:49And if there's anything
00:24:50And I repeat
00:24:52Anything
00:24:53I can get for you
00:24:55While you're here
00:24:56Don't you hesitate to ask
00:25:00As a matter of fact
00:25:01There is
00:25:03We don't live here
00:25:05We don't live here
00:25:07Anymore
00:25:10What
00:25:11Chief
00:25:14Yes
00:25:15Yes I think I can arrange that
00:25:17For you
00:25:18I'll let go of one of my friends
00:25:20Okay
00:25:24He
00:25:25Must be blonde
00:25:27Blue eyes
00:25:29And very
00:25:31Young
00:25:32Right
00:25:33Right
00:25:33Right
00:25:34Right
00:25:41Hello Bertha
00:25:42That's McCade
00:25:43Out at the radio station
00:25:44Listen
00:25:45I got a
00:25:47Celebrity friend
00:25:48In town
00:25:50And he needs
00:25:51A
00:25:51A special massage
00:25:54I think
00:25:55I think
00:25:56Say or Sue
00:25:56Could fill the bill
00:25:58Yes
00:26:00Now listen
00:26:01Here's what he wants
00:26:27You all right, chief?
00:26:29Yes. Thank you, little one.
00:26:32There he goes. I gave me that sick shtick.
00:26:34I'm tired of this. When do we get abroad?
00:26:36Little one, you must take pity on an old warrior
00:26:41that is about to meet with his ancestor.
00:26:45Anything you want, chief.
00:26:47Good. Good. Thank you, my dear.
00:26:52Oh, good. Good.
00:26:56Thank you, my dear.
00:27:00You're welcome, Your Excellency.
00:27:07Curious. Very curious Indian.
00:27:11Well, everybody's got to do their own thing.
00:27:14Oh, how very, very true, my boy.
00:27:17Well, Corncob, let's get down to business.
00:27:19Right, Professor. Whatever you say.
00:27:21Good. Now, Corncob, the next step is going to be the most difficult
00:27:25and the most painful, for it involves you and your Sarah Sue.
00:27:29Now, you leave Sarah Sue out of this.
00:27:31Unfortunately, we can't. She's become the key to our success.
00:27:34Sarah Sue will become our decoy.
00:27:36What? Now, wait just a gosh darn minute, Professor.
00:27:39You can't expect Sarah Sue to help you rob big Bertha's.
00:27:43Well, Bertha's like a mother to her.
00:27:46I know. I know.
00:27:50You could perhaps not tell her the truth of the matter.
00:27:54I'd be lying. I couldn't lie to Sarah Sue.
00:27:57You're going to be stealing and breaking the law.
00:27:59What in God's name is wrong with a little lying
00:28:01that's not wrong with a whole lot of stealing?
00:28:03I have to tell her the truth.
00:28:05Oh, not the whole truth.
00:28:07Never, never, never tell the whole truth, my boy.
00:28:12Professor, I don't think I can go through with it.
00:28:15Look at it this way. Sarah Sue will become rich and free.
00:28:21Poor Sarah Sue.
00:28:23I'm just dragging her down into a life of sin.
00:28:26Think of it, Corncob.
00:28:27No more sharing Sarah Sue with other men.
00:28:32I'll do it.
00:28:34Good!
00:28:36Good!
00:28:37Sarah Sue will become part of our noble plan.
00:28:42Yeah, noble plan.
00:28:44Noble plan, hell!
00:28:46Don't you see, Sarah Sue?
00:28:48What I see is you're fixing to rob Big Berthold.
00:28:50Who's been like a mother to me.
00:28:52You know, then I'll hit him.
00:28:53I'll hit him.
00:28:54I'll hit him.
00:28:54I'll hit him.
00:28:54You ain't never hit nobody before.
00:28:56This is Mrs. Alligator Al.
00:28:58I can take care of it.
00:28:59You just better make it look real, that's all.
00:29:01I will.
00:29:02You don't think you'll get mad, do you?
00:29:09Sarah Sue, I understand how you feel.
00:29:13And I realize now, honey, that I can't ask you to do anything
00:29:16that goes against the wholesome teaching of your mammy and pappy.
00:29:22Your fine upbringing and all.
00:29:29Excuse me, honey.
00:29:40I'll come.
00:29:43Hey.
00:29:43Ah!
00:29:45Ah!
00:29:47Ah!
00:29:49Ah!
00:29:50Ah!
00:29:52Ah!
00:29:52Ah!
00:29:53Ah!
00:29:54Ah!
00:29:55Ah!
00:29:55Ah!
00:30:17Sam Sue!
00:30:18Who in the world with those men?!
00:30:21Sweetheart.
00:30:23Oh...
00:30:29before i say goodbye and leave you forever
00:30:35i want this here moment to be the best time we ever had in this here booth
00:30:44our booth
00:30:47for it will surely be the last time
00:30:50say that it has to be hon because when i can't pay my gambling debts those men you just saw
00:30:55gonna come and take me away and gambling debts but you never told me you gamble
00:31:00well nobody's perfect but what i'm trying to say sarah sue is
00:31:06honey we we won't be able to see each other ever again in this life at least
00:31:15oh my god now i know why you wanted me to help you deal with this
00:31:23i can't
00:31:25but it's too
00:31:27i know
00:31:28oh i know
00:31:30i know and i understand
00:31:33kiss me sorry
00:31:34just kiss
00:31:38oh my god
00:31:40don't worry
00:31:42i'll do anything so you don't have to go away
00:32:09good afternoon
00:32:11big bertha's massage paula bertha speaking
00:32:14hello bertha my dear
00:32:17this is chief white eagle
00:32:19how chief how are you long time no hear
00:32:23a little request bertha
00:32:26anything chief what can i do for you
00:32:29oh well today is my birthday
00:32:32and my braves and i are having a little party
00:32:36happy birthday chief
00:32:38you're having a party how nice
00:32:42i was wondering if you could send that nice little girl we met the other day
00:32:49sarah sue
00:32:49yes that's her
00:32:51we only need her for an hour or so
00:32:54only an hour
00:32:55i'll send her right away
00:32:57no
00:32:58about midnight
00:32:59oh and could you have her bring two jars of white lightning
00:33:03we forgot to get it the other day
00:33:06and are fresh out of it
00:33:07i guess so chief
00:33:10okay chief you got a deal
00:33:12bye
00:33:20gentlemen
00:33:21she says
00:33:23we've got a deal
00:33:34chief white eagle and his braves
00:33:36manny and lou lebowitz
00:33:38relax after a hard night's work at the moonlight inn
00:33:42manny and lou were once owners of a new york based
00:33:44brassiere and girdle outlet
00:33:46and found the chief selling moccasins in brooklyn
00:33:49they backed him changed his image
00:33:52and entered the world of showbiz
00:33:54wait a minute you schmuck it's whitey's turn
00:33:56i pass i pass
00:33:58how do you call a schmuck
00:33:59how do you call a schmuck
00:34:01schmuck now play
00:34:02come on pop watch your mouth
00:34:04boys boys
00:34:05stop fighting like a couple of hungry coonhounds
00:34:08wait a minute
00:34:10listen to this
00:34:11a hungry coonhound knows no pity
00:34:16how's that chief
00:34:18maybe we could make something out of it
00:34:19what do you think whitey
00:34:20we'll take some low melancholy beats
00:34:23and the tom-toms
00:34:23and we'll start playing like this
00:34:25damn it the hell pop
00:34:26can't we have a quiet game of cards
00:34:27without talking shop
00:34:28after all it's whitey's birthday
00:34:30yes
00:34:31today's my birthday
00:34:35happy birthday to you
00:34:42happy birthday white eagle
00:34:45happy birthday to you
00:34:5712 30
00:34:59the moonshine special arrives just outside white eagle's camp
00:35:09would you please try to hurry
00:35:11would you please try to hurry
00:35:23for me
00:35:25anybody else's camp
00:35:26are you
00:35:26are you
00:35:33are you
00:35:36are you
00:35:38are you
00:35:40are you
00:35:41are you
00:35:50...
00:35:52...
00:35:55Now, Fidey, put that away. It may hurt someone, Fidey.
00:35:58You know, he's right, Chief.
00:35:59You people don't know how to handle that stuff.
00:36:02I,
00:36:04the Chief Whitey Girl,
00:36:06Chief
00:36:07of all the Taramara.
00:36:12And don't forget...
00:36:14You lousy pester. You hit my son.
00:36:17That's right.
00:36:18And I'm gonna kill you, you son of a bitch.
00:36:40My name's not Wilbur. It's Alligator Isle.
00:36:47What do I do if they're awake?
00:36:50Ask them for directions to the nearest phone.
00:36:54Right, Silent Summer.
00:36:55Out!
00:37:06As anticipated...
00:37:08...professor's mass...
00:37:10...
00:37:10...
00:37:12...
00:37:14...
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00:46:13...
00:46:14...
00:46:16...
00:48:48Come on. Come on. Come on here, Wilmer.
00:48:52Don't turn on the light.
00:48:54Come on, Wilmer.
00:48:55Shhh.
00:48:56Turn on the light.
00:48:57Don't turn on the light.
00:48:57Shhh.
00:48:58It's safe.
00:49:00Wilmer.
00:49:01You got to watch it, Professor.
00:49:07This is a special nectar that was served to the Greek gods.
00:49:16But that's nothing but Kentucky mash and white lightning.
00:49:20Them Greek gods sure knew how to live, didn't they?
00:49:23Drink up.
00:49:41Absolute silence, gentlemen.
00:49:43Where?
00:49:43Silence.
00:49:46Silence.
00:50:01You okay?
00:50:06Feeling anything like...
00:50:09down in your stomach?
00:50:13Or, uh, high in your chest?
00:50:19Now, just close your eyes.
00:50:25And no matter what happens,
00:50:29don't move.
00:50:31what's gonna happen, Amos?
00:50:34I will call on the spirit of the lamb
00:50:38to bring you feeling into this luscious body.
00:50:44We're gonna blow that old devil out of you.
00:50:47You okay?
00:50:48Because I ain't never heard nothing so foul as your voice.
00:51:00Alligator, can you hear anything?
00:51:03Not a thing, Professor.
00:51:12If you have any trouble, just think about baseball.
00:51:17They usually recommend chopping logs.
00:51:21Oh, don't say that, don't say that.
00:51:33I call on the spirit of the lamb.
00:51:37Come on, spirit of the lamb.
00:51:40Do your stuff.
00:51:42Come on.
00:51:43I call on the spirit.
00:51:46I call on the spirit.
00:52:14What's that?
00:52:17It's a feather plucked from the plumage of the angel of chastisements and exorcisms, the angel, Leroy.
00:52:32I had hoped I'd never have to use this, but the Lord's will be done.
00:52:42You can scream if you like.
00:52:53We'll just get you out of these clothes and into something a little more comfortable.
00:53:01Baseball, baseball.
00:53:03Baseball, baseball.
00:53:04What baseball?
00:53:06You've got baseball.
00:53:07I'm very bummed.
00:53:09I'm not baseball.
00:53:10I'm not baseball.
00:53:11My.
00:53:12Why? You are a big, big boy.
00:53:24He's born!
00:53:27Come on, Professor. Come on!
00:53:37Hi-o, Silver! Away!
00:53:43How are you, little varmint?
00:53:44Yeah, I got you!
00:53:46I wonder what the sheriff's doing up there.
00:53:49If you don't know what he's doing up there.
00:53:52I ain't gonna tell you.
00:53:53Well, I'm just glad he didn't make me dress up like Tonto.
00:54:07Mind if I smoke?
00:54:10No.
00:54:12You go right ahead.
00:54:23We thank you, O Lord, for these blessings we are about to receive.
00:54:31You did it, Professor. Damn! He did it!
00:54:40Oh!
00:54:41Oh, the masked man! Oh, my!
00:54:43I got you now, and you're gonna pay!
00:54:52The safe! The safe!
00:54:56Help me!
00:54:56Help me!
00:55:09Help me!
00:55:12Oh!
00:55:13Oh, Lord!
00:55:14Oh, preacher man!
00:55:15Give me strength!
00:55:16I can feel again!
00:55:18I know!
00:55:19It's a miracle!
00:55:20Veronica, quick!
00:55:21We'll be as right!
00:55:23Hallelujah!
00:55:26Help me!
00:55:29Help me!
00:55:33Help me!
00:55:34Help me!
00:55:35Help me!
00:55:36Come on!
00:55:38Come on!
00:55:40Let's go!
00:55:41Oh!
00:55:46What the hell is going on in this place?
00:55:53I fancy somebody's coming.
00:55:59Get out of here!
00:56:02Get out of here!
00:56:04Get out of here!
00:56:06Get out of here!
00:56:10Get out of here!
00:56:21Give me the money!
00:56:22Give me the money!
00:56:50Somebody's been in my bar.
00:56:52Indians.
00:56:57Whitey.
00:57:24Robbie, go get the car.
00:57:25We've got to go at it.
00:57:26Take a look at this, man.
00:57:27Take a look at this.
00:57:29Rick, Rick, that's me.
00:57:31Somebody's following me.
00:57:33You know what?
00:57:34Somebody's following me.
00:57:35I've never seen anything work as easily, as perfectly as that's safe.
00:57:40This is the worst day of my life.
00:57:43Did you see the expression on that chair's face?
00:57:45Hey, Wilbur, did you see the expression on that chair?
00:57:47I saw it.
00:57:47Yes, I saw it.
00:57:49I can see the right of his eyes when he ain't a good eye.
00:57:52He ain't shot a gun in 40 years.
00:57:54What do you think he's going to hit us for that day?
00:57:56He almost fell off that rug.
00:58:00That's the best thing we ever did.
00:58:02I never took nothing from nobody in my life.
00:58:04Well, now you have it.
00:58:05It's high title started.
00:58:07Uh-oh.
00:58:08What?
00:58:08What?
00:58:09What?
00:58:12Get out of the chair!
00:58:13I'm here!
00:58:24Take me home!
00:58:26Please, take me home!
00:58:28Oh, my goodness!
00:58:30I'm right.
00:58:30I'm right now.
00:58:30I've got you home!
00:58:32Ruth, let me get a little pass out of this one now!
00:58:34All right, step up.
00:58:35No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:58:59There they are, boys, let's see the park.
00:59:01Come on, let's go.
00:59:03Get that dude out of the car.
00:59:05Come on, George.
00:59:06We're going around.
00:59:07Come on.
00:59:10Everyone, step higher.
00:59:12Stay in step.
00:59:14Hold. Hold, you babes.
00:59:17It's their sheriff.
00:59:18Hold.
00:59:21Hold. Hold.
00:59:22Get away.
00:59:24Get away.
00:59:25Come back here.
00:59:28Sit down, gentlemen.
00:59:29Perhaps we can evade those idiots.
00:59:32Anywhere away from me.
00:59:34What does evade mean?
00:59:35I don't think it means to get lost.
00:59:40Credence.
00:59:41Sheriff, I saw them running off through the woods there.
00:59:44Are you sure?
00:59:44Well, I saw something run through.
00:59:46Well, let's go find out.
00:59:47Yes, sir.
01:00:03It's funny.
01:00:05It don't look like rain.
01:00:21You see anything?
01:00:22No, sir.
01:00:23We can't find them damn Indianids anywhere around here.
01:00:26Well, we know.
01:00:27They're around here somewhere.
01:00:28We've got to keep looking.
01:00:28I know.
01:00:29Have you searched down by the swamp?
01:00:31No, sir.
01:00:32Well, I didn't bring my boots.
01:00:33And, well, there's got a lot of snakes down there.
01:00:35Here.
01:00:35Send old George.
01:00:36George.
01:00:38George?
01:00:39The swamp.
01:00:45The swamp.
01:01:03Gentlemen, our getaway vehicles.
01:01:06Professor, you think of everything.
01:01:08Naturally.
01:01:10Oh, them Indians sure are tricky critters.
01:01:13But we've got to get them more because there's an election coming up.
01:01:16Sheriff?
01:01:17Sheriff?
01:01:18Sheriff, I found them.
01:01:19I found the Indians.
01:01:20They's camped over by Yellow Creek.
01:01:21Well, let's go.
01:01:22Get them.
01:01:33My God, what has been going on here?
01:01:37George, take care of Sarasota.
01:01:39Here.
01:01:45Freeze.
01:01:46You're under arrest.
01:01:47You so much fat nine, you're a dead Indian.
01:01:49You hear me?
01:01:50I saw that move.
01:01:50Don't you dare do that again.
01:01:52All right, now.
01:01:53On your feet, you.
01:01:54I'm taking you in.
01:01:55You're under arrest.
01:01:56Is that the man, Sarasota?
01:02:05Sheriff?
01:02:09Sheriff?
01:02:10Sheriff?
01:02:10I found the money.
01:02:11Two sacks of it.
01:02:13Those aren't worth the sacks.
01:02:16I mean, Robby, take care of her.
01:02:22I saw you running out of Bertha's with this stuff.
01:02:25Now, you gonna deny it, huh?
01:02:27I saw you with my own eyes.
01:02:29You still gonna deny it?
01:02:31I would not take that which is not mine.
01:02:35And that is mine.
01:02:39Now, don't make me laugh.
01:02:41Where are you gonna get this kind of money?
01:02:43By mail.
01:02:45This is honest mail-order money for my records.
01:02:51Genuine Indian artifacts.
01:02:53In my song book, Chief White Eagle against the Coyote.
01:02:59Yeah, yeah.
01:03:00I know all about that.
01:03:00I've heard all about that, Chief.
01:03:01Put the picture closer.
01:03:02And my eyes ready to stare down the enemy.
01:03:06Yeah, sure.
01:03:07Now, I know what happened.
01:03:10I got it all clear in my mind.
01:03:14You got a little drunk on your birthday.
01:03:17And you started thinking about the old days, huh?
01:03:21About the broken peace treaties and the cavalry and the reservations.
01:03:27And you did some more drinking.
01:03:29And you started brooding about how you gonna get even with us.
01:03:32And that's why you tied her to the stake.
01:03:35My God, man.
01:03:36What kind of beastly, inhuman, terrible tortures you perpetrate on that sweet, innocent little girl?
01:03:42Not so.
01:03:44Not so.
01:03:46I...
01:03:47I would not harm a hair on the little one's head.
01:03:51All right.
01:03:53That's the way you want it.
01:03:55That's the way it's gonna be.
01:03:57George.
01:03:58You can go and take Sarah Sue home now.
01:04:01I am gonna get to the bottom of this myself.
01:04:05Maybe we ought to wait, Sheriff.
01:04:07Don't you worry none, Sarah Sue.
01:04:09I'm a professional at extracting information from reluctant prisoners.
01:04:15I use the psychological approach.
01:04:20Works every time.
01:04:23Now you just go on now and you tell Bertha not to worry.
01:04:33Hey, Sheriff.
01:04:34Sheriff.
01:04:36My God, man, what have you done?
01:04:38Are you crazy?
01:04:39White men don't scalp Indians.
01:04:41My God, what have you done?
01:04:43Well, there's ain't a scalp, Sheriff.
01:04:45What do you mean?
01:04:46I'm standing here looking at that thing and you telling me it's not a scalp?
01:04:48Sheriff, it ain't a scalp.
01:04:49It's a toupee.
01:04:50Get in here.
01:04:51Now, now.
01:04:52Come off of his head.
01:04:54Look.
01:04:55They've both got white man's hair on underneath.
01:04:58My God.
01:04:59Well, this thing's bigger than I thought.
01:05:01It's a conspiracy.
01:05:04Those polecats have just disappeared right into thin air.
01:05:08About the only thing we're reasonably sure of is they're still in the county.
01:05:12I don't know what I'll do.
01:05:16I guess I'll have to shut down.
01:05:19Shut down?
01:05:20Why, Bertha, you can't do that.
01:05:23Well, I don't have the money to start up first class again.
01:05:28And I've had the starting on a shoestring pit.
01:05:32Robbie, we gotta move on this.
01:05:41Excuse me, gentlemen.
01:05:51Hello.
01:05:52What can I do for you?
01:05:54Hello, Bertha.
01:05:55My name is Elmo Pettigrew.
01:05:58And I represent a group of concerned citizens eager to see that Big Bertha's never closes.
01:06:04Oh.
01:06:05Bertha, we have a plan to smoke out those rotten thieves.
01:06:11For the first time in the history of Centerville, every citizen, every man, woman, and child have joined together in
01:06:18a holy crusade to flush out those hideous criminals who robbed Big Bertha's.
01:06:39Everybody quiet down.
01:06:40Everybody quiet down.
01:06:41Everybody quiet down.
01:06:41Will you turn that damn thing off?
01:06:43Everybody quiet down.
01:06:45I want you all to go home, get your guns, and get back here just as fast as you can.
01:06:49And we're gonna form posse, and we're gonna find them critters.
01:06:51We're gonna look under every rock, we're gonna look behind every tree, and we're gonna bring them in.
01:06:56Now, go on.
01:06:56Get going.
01:06:57Hurry up.
01:07:01At this very moment, the enraged citizens of Centerville are arming themselves.
01:07:11Robbie.
01:07:12Yes, sir.
01:07:13You take ten men and ladies, go down the old country road, and you stop anything that looks strange.
01:07:18Well, Gooper Snipes always did look a little strange.
01:07:21Robbie, shut up.
01:07:22George.
01:07:23Come on.
01:07:24Come on.
01:07:24You take some people and go down Route 101, and you bring in anything that moves.
01:07:28Now, the rest of you folks, you get in your cars, and you follow me.
01:07:35Let's go.
01:07:42She'll hold up with the siren blaring
01:07:45We'll gather ground all talking and staring
01:07:48Cause someone robbed the only house in town
01:07:55The sheriff formed the posse and said with a sigh
01:07:59We must succeed on the say goodbye
01:08:02To a great tradition no one could deny
01:08:05As they went to leave
01:08:07As they went to leave, they all began to cry
01:08:12Come on
01:08:15Head� be crying
01:08:18Please don't close Big Bertha down
01:08:21It's the only, only house we have in town
01:08:24For thirty years she's been around
01:08:28You'll see fewцами
01:08:32She gave the church a steeple
01:08:35And attains the mayor enough to meet the people
01:08:38And the stamp she gives are green and free
01:08:45Please don't close, make birth and down
01:08:48It's the only, only house we have in town
01:08:51A place to go when you feel down and low
01:08:59No girl will ever tease you
01:09:02But the guarantees that every trip will please you
01:09:06So we'll really hate to see her go
01:09:13No girl will ever tease you
01:09:20But the guarantees that every trip will please you
01:09:26So we'll really hate to see her go
01:09:31So we'll really hate to see her go
01:09:45The noose is tightening around our corporates
01:09:48As a determined citizenry moves in for the kill
01:09:51Moving in for the kill? You hear that?
01:09:54Contain yourself, Rufus
01:09:58No water, no food
01:10:00Relief is on the way
01:10:02And so is the police
01:10:03Sounds like the whole county's after us
01:10:06I'll never get out of here
01:10:08Gentlemen, I'll figure a way out
01:10:12And now here's our sheriff
01:10:14J.C. Spru
01:10:15Sheriff
01:10:16There ain't no way out
01:10:18So give up
01:10:20Every road is blocked
01:10:23Cut off
01:10:24Nobody can come into town
01:10:26And nobody can go out
01:10:28So everybody just relax
01:10:30Except you blood-sucking criminals
01:10:33Who must be holed up in some devil's hole
01:10:39That sheriff is right, all right
01:10:41This is some hole
01:10:44Corn cob, you should have bought
01:10:46Who, not whiskey
01:10:48Well, that's what I had in the car
01:10:50Hell, I couldn't stop nowhere for groceries
01:10:52The whole damn county is an armed camp
01:10:53Out looking for anything suspicious
01:10:56Our very own
01:10:57Big Bertha Kowalski
01:11:00I want to thank the many kindly souls
01:11:02Who are coming here to offer testimony
01:11:04On my behalf
01:11:06I am truly touched
01:11:10I'd like to now introduce
01:11:12The right reverend Amos Huxley
01:11:14Who has taken time out
01:11:15From his busy schedule
01:11:16You better find a way out for us, professor
01:11:19Because I'm so damn hungry
01:11:23And tired
01:11:25You sinners
01:11:26And your misguided greed
01:11:30Must surely by now see
01:11:32That you have committed a grievous wrong
01:11:34To this town
01:11:35And to your immortal souls
01:11:38But you can turn it around
01:11:40You can cleanse your hearts
01:11:43And your souls in part
01:11:45And get back on the path to purity
01:11:47By returning the money anonymously
01:11:50Without revealing yourselves
01:11:53I am sure that you sinners
01:11:56Had no idea
01:11:57That you was robbing
01:11:59From the most wretched
01:12:00Unfortunates of the world
01:12:02Hell
01:12:03We robbed a cat house
01:12:05Not a church
01:12:06Stealing from little boys
01:12:08And little girls
01:12:09Without no mammies
01:12:11Or pappies
01:12:12Little did you know
01:12:14That Big Bertha
01:12:16Everybody's mama
01:12:18Saved the orphanage
01:12:20From going under
01:12:21And now she herself
01:12:24Will be going under
01:12:25Out of business
01:12:28Did we do that?
01:12:31Shoot, Wilbur
01:12:31Stop your crying
01:12:33May the Lord be on her side
01:12:36And strike down the demons
01:12:39That attack her
01:12:42Amen
01:12:43Amen
01:12:44I'll be you, dumb ox
01:12:47My name is Flora May Springover
01:12:52Those of you who remember
01:12:56The little town's library
01:12:58On Hummock Street
01:12:59Before it burned down
01:13:01Will remember me
01:13:04As the librarian
01:13:05That's my cousin
01:13:08What the hell is she doing?
01:13:11Bertha saved my marriage
01:13:13With her vigorous massages
01:13:18She has kept my husband's disposition
01:13:21Gentle and pleasant
01:13:26Did you hear that?
01:13:27Vigorous massage
01:13:30Real vigorous
01:13:33But I can only say
01:13:36From the bottom of my heart
01:13:38That it isn't fair
01:13:40For a woman in public service
01:13:42Like this
01:13:43Should lose her life savings
01:13:46It's too much to bear
01:13:49Sure is
01:13:51Damn radio
01:13:52Damn Berthas
01:13:54Damn professor
01:13:56I wish I was back on my farm
01:13:58Growing things
01:14:00Rufus
01:14:00Why don't you show me
01:14:02The transmission of the truck
01:14:03That'll get your mind off things
01:14:04No, goddammit
01:14:06I showed y'all that day
01:14:06Before yesterday
01:14:07I hate cars
01:14:08They got me into this
01:14:10They took me away
01:14:11From the farm I love
01:14:13And got me hooked up
01:14:14With the professor
01:14:15And made me a criminal
01:14:16But what have I got to show for
01:14:18I have anything to spend
01:14:19No
01:14:21Locked up in here
01:14:22Like a rat in a cage
01:14:24While a professor
01:14:25Sits over there
01:14:26Like some mysterious foreigner
01:14:28And hums
01:14:30And says we can't leave
01:14:33He says
01:14:34Through meditation
01:14:35He can show us
01:14:36The right road
01:14:37Out of here
01:14:38Well I'm leaving
01:14:39I'm taking my own road
01:14:40I'm through
01:14:41I want to go drinking
01:14:42And dancing
01:14:44If you think
01:14:45Bertha is important
01:14:46To you now
01:14:46When you're a teenager
01:14:48He says
01:14:48Wait till you get married
01:14:53What do you mean
01:14:54By telling him that
01:14:55Big mouth kid
01:14:57And how come
01:14:58You know so much
01:14:59About Berthas
01:15:00That's my ear
01:15:02You're going to
01:15:02Twist my ear off
01:15:03Twist me on your ear off
01:15:06I'm just seven years old
01:15:09And never had no mammy
01:15:11Or no pappy
01:15:13I think of Big Bertha
01:15:15As my mama
01:15:16As that of all the kids
01:15:19You crooks
01:15:20Robbed from the greatest
01:15:22Mama we ever had
01:15:25I hope you all
01:15:27Burn in hell
01:15:28Gentlemen
01:15:33We have come
01:15:34To the crossroads
01:15:36I have made a decision
01:15:40I have chosen
01:15:42The way
01:15:44You look strong
01:15:46Fasson
01:15:48Gentlemen
01:15:49It is a far
01:15:51Far better thing
01:15:53We do today
01:15:55And we have ever
01:15:56Are you okay
01:15:57Professor
01:16:00My friends
01:16:03We wanted to be rich
01:16:05Not villains
01:16:07It is better to be heroes
01:16:09Than hated villains
01:16:10Chased from our homes
01:16:12Living lives of despair
01:16:15Et cetera
01:16:15And so forth
01:16:16Did the professor a drink
01:16:18He's flipped out of his head
01:16:19I have never been more cogent
01:16:20What's the plan, professor?
01:16:22We are going to be
01:16:23Become vigilantes
01:16:24Give chase to the bandits
01:16:26And return the money
01:16:29We're what?
01:16:30The hell we are
01:16:32Would you rather be caught
01:16:33And put away?
01:16:36You promised that wouldn't happen
01:16:38I lied
01:16:41Well what's your playin?
01:16:44You don't deserve this
01:16:46But I'm going to turn us in
01:16:48And become heroes
01:16:51I have them cornered
01:16:53But my friends and I
01:16:54May need help
01:16:57Smiley's farm
01:16:58Yes
01:17:00Well we may not be able to wait
01:17:02However if they should
01:17:04Attempt to escape
01:17:04I may be forced to charge
01:17:06Single-handedly
01:17:08Oh yes
01:17:10If I don't make it
01:17:12Send my farm farewell to Bertha
01:17:16I'm doing this
01:17:17For her
01:17:21What's it gonna do?
01:17:22Spread on out
01:17:29I'm doing this
01:17:30For her
01:17:30All-in-law
01:17:30And go to the
01:17:301-year-old
01:17:42And go to the
01:17:42See you later
01:17:43See you later
01:17:45And go to the
01:17:46See you later
01:17:56All right, your desperado's in there, you better come on out,
01:17:59because this here place is surrounded by practically the whole town.
01:18:08All right, now, we ain't going to wait long.
01:18:22You all right?
01:18:23I'm alive, and so are my companions.
01:18:27We routed the villains, but I'm afraid they escaped.
01:18:31Who were they?
01:18:32They wore stocking masks.
01:18:34Well, we'll get them.
01:18:36The money.
01:18:37Did you get them?
01:18:38I'll give it to Bertha myself, personally.
01:18:41Bertha!
01:18:42Bertha, are you out there?
01:18:43Bertha, my dear, here's your money.
01:18:47Oh, oh, Bertha.
01:18:50These men deserve the same.
01:18:52But you're my girl.
01:18:55Oh, my dear.
01:19:07My dear, this is for you.
01:19:11Oh.
01:19:13Professor, you risked your life for me.
01:19:16Why?
01:19:18I, too, am an orphan.
01:19:21How can I ever thank you?
01:19:24Let's go to your place.
01:19:26What could have ended in disaster has ended in triumph.
01:19:30Our misguided desperados have learned that success is just around the corner if you use your head.
01:19:38Goodbye, Rufus.
01:19:39Remember, as you drive down that great highway of life, always pass on the left.
01:19:46Oh, that's beautiful, Professor.
01:19:50Corncob, my boy.
01:19:51Yes.
01:19:52As you drive down that highway of life, watch out for Rufus.
01:19:58I'll do my damnedest, Professor.
01:20:00I sure will.
01:20:02Wilbur.
01:20:03Wilbur.
01:20:04Alligator Al.
01:20:06For a smooth ride on the highway of life.
01:20:10Take care of your mother.
01:20:12Golly.
01:20:14Golly.
01:20:15Professor, honey, I'm waiting.
01:20:19Coming, my lovely.
01:20:23Farewell, my dear.
01:20:26My love.
01:20:28What's the perfect?
01:20:30Girl.
01:20:37At last.
01:20:38At last.
01:20:40Step up, my dear.
01:20:42Oh, Professor.
01:20:45Yeah.
01:20:46I'm in.
01:20:50Goodbye.
01:20:52Goodbye.
01:20:53Goodbye.
01:20:55May the Lord bless you.
01:20:56And keep all them little devils away.
01:20:59Congratulations.
01:21:01Professor, you've got a good plan.
01:21:02Can you do your thing tonight, Harry?
01:21:04Good.
01:21:05Take her away, my love.
01:21:07Have a good trip.
01:21:08Now, be careful, you.
01:21:10Big Bertha is now fulfilling a dream of a lifetime.
01:21:14With the professor as her guide, she is taking a grand tour of the ballet capitals of the United States.
01:21:20Hiawatha, Kansas.
01:21:22Kankakee, Illinois.
01:21:23And Conyers, Georgia.
01:21:25With their leader gone,
01:21:27Rufus T. Oxhammer is supplying organic food.
01:21:30Organic vegetables to Priscilla Bacon.
01:21:32Now owner of the prospering health food shop.
01:21:40Rufus T.
01:21:42Merry Christmas.
01:21:44I'm ready to do this.
01:22:05I'm ready to do this.
01:22:06Yes!
01:22:06I'm ready to do this.
01:22:13Wilbur Varnish was well rewarded for his heroism.
01:22:16He is now chief deputy of police.
01:22:19One of his first duties was to lock up his mother.
01:22:54As for Corncob McKay, Knight Errant.
01:22:57This is Corncob McKay's Midnight to Dawn Soiree,
01:23:01coming to you live from Big Bertha's.
01:23:04And signing off once again.
01:23:06Wishing you all out there music in your hearts.
01:23:13Corncob.
01:23:14I'm up coming, sweet buddy.
01:23:15Hurry.
01:23:34Please don't close Big Bertha down.
01:23:38It's the only, only house we have in town.
01:23:41For thirty years she's been around, you see.
01:23:48She gave the church a steeple.
01:23:52And attends the mayor and helps the needy people.
01:23:55And the stamps she gives are green and free.
01:24:02Please don't close Big Bertha down.
01:24:05It's the only, only house we have in town.
01:24:09A place to go when you feel down and low.
01:24:15No girl will ever tease you.
01:24:19No girl will ever tease you.
01:24:36But the guarantees that every trip will please you.
01:24:42So we'll really hate to see her go.
01:24:43So we'll really hate to see her go.
01:24:49So we'll really hate to see her go.
01:24:53So we'll really hate to see her go.
01:24:56So we'll really hate to see her go.
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