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00:00:28Transcription by CastingWords
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00:02:12used a body double. I've just had a thought. What do you think if I asked you to present
00:02:19the awards? Oh, Gabriel, let me stop you there. I'm not presenting these awards. Well, that
00:02:24would be a mistake. A missed opportunity for you, Will the Farmer. With some brand. Gabriel,
00:02:31your little festival, it's a low-rent nightmare. Whatever bullshit you've done to get this
00:02:36accredited by the Academy, it's a win here. Honestly, I don't want to be part of it when
00:02:40it all goes tits up. It's all showbiz, Will. And you are one of the greats. This is an
00:02:45opportunity that should be grabbed with both hands. Gabriel, please, please don't bullshit
00:02:50me. Put on a show, Will. Razzle dazzle them. It will be you that they'll remember. I don't
00:02:57want to present an award to a shit Tarantino wannabe, Tug Speedman. Truth is stranger than
00:03:02fiction, Will. Look, why don't you stay, listen to the key speaker talk, and then see how you
00:03:09feel. Do you know what? I don't feel well, Gabriel. That was funny, innit? If you've got a tractor,
00:03:16you're a farmer. If you don't, you're just a gardener. Do you know what? I am not sitting
00:03:21here listening to that. Gabriel? Are you alright?
00:03:28Oh.
00:04:10Hello, Giggles. Didn't know we were going to be a threesome tonight.
00:04:13What's the point in having a phone if you don't read your messages?
00:04:17Oh, shit. Sorry, no. I've been avoiding my dad all day, so...
00:04:21Phone.
00:04:23I'm breaking up with you.
00:04:26Okay.
00:04:26It's not you. It's your dad.
00:04:31Yeah?
00:04:32Not in that way. Just the way he controls everything you do.
00:04:39I'm waiting for the punchline here, but I'm sensing it's not coming.
00:04:44My dad is just my dad. Like, I'm my own boss.
00:04:51Okay, but that is five unread messages, which I'm not going to read.
00:04:57I'm with Giggles.
00:05:00Caroline, I thought we were going to make a movie together.
00:05:04I think we're both done with that.
00:05:06You know, you know what? I think I'm just gonna...
00:05:25Oh, God. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:05:37Oh, God. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:05:55Dad!
00:05:56Dad!
00:05:57Where have you been? He's having a heart attack.
00:05:59Will the farmer?
00:06:01And a cow jumped over the moon.
00:06:03No, Dad!
00:06:04Gabriel, everything's going to be okay. Alan's here now.
00:06:08Listen to me, son.
00:06:11Do you want to make it in this business or fold shirts at the Chinese laundromat?
00:06:15Pledge.
00:06:16Um, how sure are we that this was a heart attack?
00:06:20Oh, shit. No, the film festival.
00:06:22The film festival goes ahead.
00:06:26You're in charge.
00:06:27Gabriel, talk about this at the hospital. Where is this ambulance?
00:06:30Ambulance is on the way.
00:06:31No, Dad, Dad. Cancel the film festival.
00:06:34Alan, I am not willing to donate a kidney, but I am willing to watch you die slowly,
00:06:40if you're looking for that kind of thing.
00:06:42Huh.
00:06:45Any idea what you're going to do?
00:06:47No, no, Will, I don't.
00:06:48Well, good luck with everything.
00:06:51Will the farmer to present best picture?
00:07:13Somebody I'm not
00:07:15I don't want to be somebody I'm not
00:07:19Standing in my shoes
00:07:21Someone I'm not
00:07:23I don't want to be somebody I'm not
00:07:29Standing in my shoes
00:07:32I got this feeling that I'm always gonna lose
00:07:36I guess I know someday I'm gonna have to choose
00:07:41Cause I don't want to hide away
00:07:44Yeah, yeah
00:07:47Somebody I'm not
00:07:49I don't want to be somebody I'm not
00:07:54Standing in my shoes
00:07:56Someone I'm not
00:07:58Cause I don't want to be somebody I'm not
00:08:04Standing in my shoes
00:08:06Standing in my shoes
00:08:07I'm never knowing when it's gonna be my time
00:08:11I got some marching signs
00:08:13I really want to shine
00:08:15Cause I don't want to hide away
00:08:18Yeah, yeah
00:08:21Somebody I'm not
00:08:23I don't want to be somebody I'm not
00:08:28Standing in the shoes of someone I'm not
00:08:32Cause I don't want to be somebody I'm not
00:08:38So it goes
00:08:42Seems like I'm running blind
00:08:47But oh, you know
00:08:52It's like I'm stuck in time
00:09:16Somebody I'm not
00:09:18I don't want to be somebody I'm not
00:09:23Standing in the shoes of somebody I'm not
00:09:29You know, I think I'm gonna faint if we don't eat soon
00:09:33There's a Costa Starbucks back at the station
00:09:36I can get those anywhere
00:09:38I need authentic Edinburghian food
00:09:42I don't know if it's an actual word
00:09:44But it is now anyway
00:09:47Um, there's a greasy spoon three blocks from here
00:09:52Authentic Scottish cafe it says
00:09:54Perfect word
00:09:55I'm gonna use it in a sentence
00:09:57I just did
00:10:05Where are all these Scottish brutes have been told about?
00:10:09You're gonna cop a flower pot if you don't move them trotters
00:10:15At her butt
00:10:17Oh my god
00:10:26Are you sure?
00:10:28Of course
00:10:29He's got no reason to lie, I'm sure
00:10:31Can we go home then?
00:10:33Alan's sorting it out
00:10:35That can't be good
00:10:42Come on
00:10:53How's it going?
00:10:55A few technical issues
00:10:56But then again it's an old laptop
00:10:58So I probably need some replacing
00:11:00She means your dad, Alan
00:11:01Oh god
00:11:03Yeah, better
00:11:04I think
00:11:06He left me a three-page text message this morning
00:11:08That he signed off with
00:11:09And don't mess this up
00:11:11So, safe to say
00:11:13He's better the farm on this first door
00:11:16He'll be fine
00:11:18See, he's working
00:11:21And gone again
00:11:22Yeah
00:11:27He's fucked
00:11:33Will!
00:11:35Gabriel's on the mend
00:11:36That's good
00:11:36Will, I still need a key speaker
00:11:38Please check out time for me
00:11:40No, Will, please
00:11:41I'll give you anything, okay
00:11:42I have a kidney you can have
00:11:43It's barely been used
00:11:45When you get chased by a pack of taxidermists
00:11:48Don't play dead
00:12:06Is there no one here to meet us?
00:12:08It's fine
00:12:08We'll just grab a taxi
00:12:11Did you not order car service?
00:12:13I'm sorry
00:12:14I'll just bong it on my credit card, shall I?
00:12:17There's no budget for this trip
00:12:22Seriously
00:12:31Good news or bad?
00:12:32My father would say this is a challenge
00:12:35So bad then?
00:12:36Yeah, it's not good
00:12:36One of my key speakers has pulled out
00:12:38He's got the flu
00:12:39One of the criteria for qualifying for an academy award
00:12:42Is you must provide at least two key speakers to tell you movies are good
00:12:49Alright, okay, it's fine
00:12:50Just breathe
00:12:53That's it
00:12:54I'm not the first guy to have a panic attack on us
00:12:57Look, if my dad doesn't kill me, Tug Speedman will
00:13:00God's was a good movie
00:13:01The ending was much so
00:13:03No, his father is paying for the festival
00:13:06You know this isn't your fault, right?
00:13:08Yes, but my dad can make it my fault
00:13:10Right, first things last
00:13:12What's the key speaker?
00:13:14Oh, I don't know
00:13:15It's got to be an actor or a celebrity
00:13:17Someone who can talk about their experience making movies with the other filmmakers
00:13:27Rachel
00:13:28Oh shit, yeah, Rachel Warren
00:13:30Who is Rachel Warren?
00:13:35She did that stupid werewolf movie with Jess
00:13:38It's in the festival
00:13:39Can you get her?
00:13:40Yeah, I know her well
00:13:42I should love to come and be your celebrity
00:13:49You have no idea where we're going
00:13:52Yes, I do
00:13:59It's this way, come on
00:14:02We made a movie about Chinese families in the 18th century
00:14:06Stories about mothers and daughters
00:14:11This country makes no sense
00:14:20Don't be like my children
00:14:22You don't understand all kinds of things
00:14:24You don't understand the world
00:14:25You don't want to put me in a place
00:14:26You become a fan of
00:14:27I love you
00:14:31You speak the language
00:14:32One thing that lets us 우리 Brighton
00:14:33Is it ever heard?
00:14:34We must change rapidement
00:14:35We understand the story
00:14:35We are lucky
00:14:39We これ CBS2
00:14:48Hey, remember what we spoke about?
00:14:51Yeah, yeah, Dad.
00:14:53No danger.
00:14:55Hi, we're Ashraf and...
00:14:58Millie.
00:14:59I thought we was going home with Millicent.
00:15:02We made Milicious Incent.
00:15:10Do I think we can win?
00:15:12Fuck yeah.
00:15:13What, babe?
00:15:15Well, forget winning.
00:15:16I mean, I'm just here for the fit guys with their sexy Scottish brogue.
00:15:21I mean, I haven't met any just yet, but I did spot this guy.
00:15:24He looked a little bit like Chris Hemsworth on the plane.
00:15:26You know, the guy from Thor.
00:15:28I mean, given the chance, I didn't.
00:15:29I was Thor.
00:15:32You do know I'm not one of your pals, don't you?
00:15:35You know I can't just un-hear this stuff.
00:15:38Oh, well.
00:15:41I'm not really hungry.
00:15:44Nominations for Best Actress are...
00:15:47Fran Whittaker for Hey, Mr. DJ.
00:16:00I can explain.
00:16:01I want you to leave.
00:16:04Out of my house.
00:16:13What's black pudding?
00:16:15It's sporked with beef blood mixed with oatmeal and fried.
00:16:18Are we in the same country?
00:16:20No, we're in Scotland.
00:16:23Esme Presley, poor gods of Shoreditch.
00:16:26Your sword skills do you a disservice, sir.
00:16:29The seal calls to you.
00:16:32But it is lying.
00:16:34That may be so.
00:16:35The seal is our portal to the future.
00:16:38It is the devil's work.
00:16:40Then the devil does fine work.
00:16:42How are the nominations?
00:16:43Oh, yeah.
00:16:44It's in the back.
00:16:58Hi, guys.
00:17:00We're the Kidnap Gang, and we do kidnap pranks.
00:17:03This is my partner, Darren.
00:17:05Hello, hello.
00:17:06Now, obviously, we've entered two films into the festivals,
00:17:10which doubles our chances of winning something.
00:17:14But, look, I've got to warn you,
00:17:15when we're about, there's always some fuckery afoot.
00:17:19Idiots.
00:17:20Both my dad and my uncle.
00:17:22Well, Gabriel, the guy who runs the festival,
00:17:24he invited us along.
00:17:25He thought we'd be some good entertainment.
00:17:42Joking, we got her.
00:17:43You didn't.
00:17:44She said she'll do it.
00:17:45Thanks, little madam.
00:17:46Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you so much.
00:17:49Sorry, I'm not really a hugger, but you know what I mean.
00:17:51She said she'd like working with me
00:17:53and the movie's nominated in the festival.
00:17:55You'll cover travel and bar bill.
00:17:57Yeah, bar bill?
00:17:58Yeah, but don't worry about that now.
00:18:00You have a speaker.
00:18:02Hey, is this an exclusive party, or can anybody join in?
00:18:05Doug, you're here!
00:18:07Alert the paparazzi.
00:18:08That's good, that's good, these dudes.
00:18:10No, seriously.
00:18:11Alert the paparazzi.
00:18:12Your dad has press at the awards.
00:18:16How are you?
00:18:17Jade.
00:18:18And what movie are you with?
00:18:19Sex.
00:18:20Hmm.
00:18:22Well, your film sounds interesting and equally your name.
00:18:26Both subjects I'd love to learn more about.
00:18:30Tug Speedman.
00:18:32Actor, writer, film maker.
00:18:34Triple Tread.
00:18:36Tug, have you checked in yet?
00:18:38It's actually just this way.
00:18:39I'll just show you where it is.
00:18:40I want that review.
00:18:49Listen, man.
00:18:51I didn't want to say anything in there.
00:18:53I didn't want to embarrass you.
00:18:55There was no one there to meet us at the airport.
00:18:57Oh, I didn't know we were...
00:19:00You know what?
00:19:00Technical issues.
00:19:03Get it together, man.
00:19:05You do realise what a big deal this is
00:19:07to have me and my movie
00:19:09playing exclusively at your festival.
00:19:12Of course.
00:19:14I thought I played in Ireland.
00:19:17That wasn't a film festival.
00:19:19That was a tent with a projector.
00:19:21Right.
00:19:22No, this...
00:19:24This is the one we've been waiting for.
00:19:27Academy qualifying.
00:19:29You do realise this is going to be huge
00:19:31for my movie
00:19:32and for your festivals.
00:19:36Yes, I'll get it together.
00:19:44We're in room 175.
00:19:47Esme Presley.
00:19:49That's my name.
00:19:50Don't wear it out.
00:19:55Don't mess this up.
00:19:57Right.
00:20:01Please let me help you with your bag.
00:20:03I'd be much obliged.
00:20:05He likes people to think I'm his assistant.
00:20:07Yeah, he's certainly a character with a small c.
00:20:11No, he's definitely something with a small c.
00:20:22Ha!
00:20:22We're going to need to separate these.
00:20:25Oh, like a twin room.
00:20:28Don't get me started.
00:20:30Todd likes his space to sleep.
00:20:32Proper diva.
00:20:36You can put that down.
00:20:38Oh, God, yeah.
00:20:39Sorry.
00:20:41Is there a turndown service or do I tip?
00:20:45Oh, no, no.
00:20:45I'm just helping.
00:20:48Just a thanks, then.
00:20:51Instant coffee.
00:20:52I liked your movie.
00:20:55Well, no, I liked your role in it.
00:21:00It's okay.
00:21:01You can say it's crap.
00:21:02It is.
00:21:02No, no, it's not crap.
00:21:03It's just...
00:21:04It's unusual.
00:21:05It's time-travelling gangsters.
00:21:09But it's up for Best Picture and it's probably going to get the Oscar qualifying spot.
00:21:12So what do I know?
00:21:14Alan.
00:21:15That's your name, right?
00:21:16The festival director's son.
00:21:19Tug Speedman's a hack.
00:21:20And worse, a hack with a father with money.
00:21:23The writer's inspiration for Gods of Shoreditch was a story with strong female characters
00:21:28who brought about the end of the world of men.
00:21:31Instead, Tug turned a brilliant script into a wannabe gangster action movie.
00:21:36With so much nudity, it could have been set in ancient Rome.
00:21:40Oh, I mean, I thought that it was...
00:21:42Sorry, darling.
00:21:42Body doubles for those scenes.
00:21:44Oh, no, no.
00:21:45I wasn't being weird.
00:21:46I was just...
00:21:46Alan, it's fine.
00:21:47I limit who sees me naked, including Tug.
00:21:51Oh, you thought...
00:21:54Alan, no.
00:21:55Hasn't been like that for a very long time.
00:21:57Tug, I imagine, is currently down in the bar, flirting with any tart.
00:22:01Unlucky enough to be with an earshot.
00:22:10I know his father paid for the movie to win, and I'm fine with it.
00:22:14Oh.
00:22:16Alan?
00:22:18Yes?
00:22:19Do you want a coffee?
00:22:26That's my dad.
00:22:27I should...
00:22:28I didn't see him outside something okay?
00:22:32Complicated, but...
00:22:33Yeah.
00:23:00Hello, Alan.
00:23:03You all right?
00:23:04Um, yeah.
00:23:05All good.
00:23:06Um, the abjurth gate is here.
00:23:08Okay.
00:23:14Yes, we made a movie called Sex.
00:23:27At first, there was nothing.
00:23:30Then, there was woman.
00:23:45So, the role of the woman is the sole provider, the one given the pain is the only one that
00:23:50can take it away.
00:23:50My role is to assistive clients, but I'm also an actress.
00:23:55Oh, not again with that stupid werewolf movie with Rachel.
00:23:59Rachel was amazing to work with.
00:24:03And you two.
00:24:04And you two.
00:24:04Yeah.
00:24:05But both equally.
00:24:07Yeah, of course.
00:24:08Do you know what?
00:24:09Whatever, I don't care.
00:24:10Anyway.
00:24:11Can somebody take this off, please?
00:24:23You have 12 finalists in your festival this year?
00:24:28Yes, they are the final 12.
00:24:31The opening ceremony is tonight, and there will be a party.
00:24:36Not quite a party person.
00:24:40Each film has been individually assessed and announced within the required time period?
00:24:46Yes.
00:24:47No formal queries from the other candidates, and my father has done all of the assessments.
00:24:54Your father?
00:24:56Yes.
00:24:57Spoke to him many times.
00:24:59On the phone.
00:25:00Never met.
00:25:02Where is he?
00:25:05Currently sorting out something or other.
00:25:08Like, you know what these crazy filmmakers are like.
00:25:13No!
00:25:14No.
00:25:21I'm absolutely mortified.
00:25:23I didn't mind, really.
00:25:25It was kind of fun.
00:25:26A bunch of kids, them, too, honestly.
00:25:35Very amusing.
00:25:38My preference is to sit near the back and on the aisle for each showing.
00:25:45Yes, we can accommodate that.
00:25:48Your father is the signatory for the festival.
00:25:51Have him speak to me at his earliest convenience.
00:25:54Of course.
00:25:55No problem.
00:25:57Would you excuse me?
00:25:58I need to go and sort out a thing.
00:26:01One more time.
00:26:18Okay.
00:26:20All right.
00:26:50As if. He's like some old guy.
00:26:54You play your cards right. I might just let you audition for me sometime.
00:26:59So obviously networking is the best part of these events. Before Tug realises I'm a tease,
00:27:06his next movie will already be out starring me.
00:27:12I thought you might be hungry.
00:27:15Thank you. For the breakfasts are meant to be for the film contestants.
00:27:20But yeah, they're not going to miss it are they?
00:27:23The adjudicated by your story?
00:27:26Jade. How is your father doing?
00:27:28Still in the hospital and I think, I think, Tug Speedman might just kill me when he finds out.
00:27:35So have you. I always wanted to be an actress then.
00:27:38Come on, move along Romeo. There's a cue here.
00:27:42I'll talk to you later.
00:27:47You seem to be doing okay so far. Just a few more days.
00:27:51Tug will be happy once he gets his coveted Academy place.
00:27:54Do you like working with him?
00:27:55You don't work with Tug. You experience the carnage he leaves in his wake.
00:28:00You get used to the crazy after a few years.
00:28:02Yeah, I was going to pitch my film to him.
00:28:04The God Particle.
00:28:06Yeah, I optioned the third book, but I tell you what, an award-nominated actress would look great on the
00:28:11cast list.
00:28:12This is a shit business, Alan.
00:28:14You can do your best performance and some hack director fumbles the ball in the edit.
00:28:19Hey, no, your character Joe Marsh in Gods of Shortage was amazing.
00:28:22Tets and Arse don't make a movie. At least my body double had a good bum.
00:28:30The God Particle is a black ops super soldier who seeks vengeance after they have been betrayed on a mission
00:28:38gone terribly wrong.
00:28:39Good pitch.
00:28:41Yeah, but without Esme Presley in it, it's just another silly spy adventure.
00:28:48Actually, can you just give me a full second, please?
00:28:53Alan!
00:28:54My man!
00:28:55How are we?
00:28:56Right, are we all set for my screening?
00:28:57Yes, of course, um...
00:28:59Emmett?
00:28:59Emmett, yes.
00:29:00Yes, no, it's only because I heard there were some technical issues.
00:29:03Who told you that?
00:29:04No, never mind. No, everything's fine. We're good to go.
00:29:07Perfect.
00:29:07So yeah, we made a horror movie.
00:29:09Yes, I play a maid.
00:29:12Don't you play a maid in Jade's movie too?
00:29:14Typecasting is a good thing.
00:29:16Do you actually watch the movies? Have you seen mine?
00:29:18It's got Rachel in it.
00:29:19Er, no, my dad watches the films. It's more his thing.
00:29:21Oh, hi!
00:29:23Hey.
00:29:24Um, the breakfasts are actually just for the film candidates, so, er...
00:29:28I appreciate it.
00:29:29Yeah.
00:29:30Yeah, no, so that, that, that means...
00:29:32Sorry.
00:29:34But what if I was a film contestant?
00:29:39Okay, okay, look.
00:29:41If you want to go, like, just, like, wait in the lobby,
00:29:43and wait till they're all gone, I'll come give you a shout and...
00:29:46How'd they print the application form from the library?
00:29:47That was a nightmare while I had ink.
00:29:50So, like, sorry.
00:29:51I ain't taking a blame for that.
00:29:53Hang on, you've made a movie?
00:29:55Sure.
00:29:55Just like all the cats up in this geth.
00:29:57It's a personal story.
00:29:59A flick about lovin' on the streets.
00:30:01Mike in your face.
00:30:03Ha!
00:30:04That's, that, that's actually really impressive.
00:30:06I'm not sure how you do...
00:30:07That, that, check it.
00:30:09Shot on a phone.
00:30:11Edited at a library.
00:30:12The equipment was 90s.
00:30:13But it's all good.
00:30:15Uh, well, that, that is all good.
00:30:18But, um, the applications closed, uh, two months ago now, so...
00:30:22Understands completely.
00:30:24But listen here, I ain't interested in what you're selling.
00:30:27For me, this is a golden opportunity of honest food,
00:30:29and a bed for the night.
00:30:31Look, please, I, I really don't know how else to say this,
00:30:35but all of the final films have been announced.
00:30:39We can't add this.
00:30:41That's how it is.
00:30:43Sorry, what's your name?
00:30:45Mike.
00:30:46Iron Mike.
00:30:47Wow.
00:30:48Intimidating name.
00:30:49It's cause where I'm bedding down.
00:30:50I have, like, three iron baths tied together.
00:30:53So, Iron Mike.
00:30:54Makes perfect sense.
00:30:56Listen, Alan's gonna take your application,
00:30:59because he's good at problem solving,
00:31:00and he very much wants to impress me.
00:31:04So, Alan, I was thinking...
00:31:06What was that?
00:31:07Simple.
00:31:07You did a very kind thing for a homeless man,
00:31:09and it did impress me.
00:31:11Okay, yeah, that is very nice,
00:31:12but all the films have already been announced, Esme.
00:31:14I don't think he cares.
00:31:17Morning.
00:31:18Oh, shit.
00:31:19I mean, morning!
00:31:21Your father down for breakfast?
00:31:23Uh, you know, he was, but he's an early riser,
00:31:26so you know how it is.
00:31:27We're just going to meet him now.
00:31:29The signatory is a very important part of the process.
00:31:33Of course.
00:31:40I played Lord Harrington of Morta.
00:31:48Beast must die.
00:31:52Whatever you think's best.
00:31:59I'm now unarmed.
00:32:01I'll prevent you from doing your duty.
00:32:06Maybe she should kill us both.
00:32:10You've been bitten, mistress.
00:32:15The wolf...
00:32:19...courses...
00:32:21...through my veins.
00:32:23Run!
00:32:27So, yeah.
00:32:28It's a movie with a werewolf in it.
00:32:31His sister hates that we're together...
00:32:34...in the movie.
00:32:36Look.
00:32:37I spent a lot of time and energy into this ending.
00:32:41And trust me, once people see what we've done here...
00:32:45...his best film winners might.
00:32:47Ours.
00:32:49And everyone that was in the movie.
00:32:51... it will be...
00:32:53wow!
00:33:02And all the other things.
00:33:08I've been two years ago.
00:33:11I've been here to in the movie.
00:33:11He was a young man and a man named Lou.
00:33:29Agnes I just I'm sorry for frightening you Lady Harrington
00:33:38Callum go back to the house
00:33:41Elizabeth
00:33:45Now
00:34:09No
00:34:10No not now everyone look into the
00:34:19God damn it no one saw the ending
00:34:37It was just an outer shit show I was pretty awesome as a maid
00:34:53Are you okay?
00:35:05Are you fucking kidding me?
00:35:08Did you just leave and come back so you could do that?
00:35:11Take some water
00:35:12Fuck water I want some fucking cocaine
00:35:17Oh fuck just call my fucking sponsor
00:35:23You
00:35:25Is your pathetic father gonna make it or not?
00:35:28Tell me
00:35:28I don't know but I'm obviously hoping
00:35:31It's not his fault
00:35:33Of course you knew
00:35:38Everybody knows except poor old Tug
00:35:41It wasn't like that
00:35:42Look as long as the adjudicator doesn't find out we're fine
00:35:45We're fine
00:35:46We're fine
00:35:48Yeah we're fine
00:35:51Until he visits your poor little feeble dad
00:35:54On his fucking deathbed
00:35:55Tug his father still alive
00:35:58Take that back
00:35:59I'll tell you one thing boy
00:36:01You
00:36:01He's not gonna be alive when my dad gets his hands on him
00:36:04Or if you make this go catch up
00:36:11You
00:36:13I'm going to the bar
00:36:15Fuck my sponsor
00:36:35AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
00:36:36Really?
00:36:38Thought you had to call your sponsor
00:36:42I didn't drink it
00:36:43I thought you thought about it
00:36:45And you promised.
00:36:49Go away, Esme.
00:36:51I'm not cleaning up after you again.
00:36:55Well, do you know what, Mum?
00:36:57Do you know what I'm gonna get you for Christmas?
00:36:59A nice big wooden cross.
00:37:02So next time you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices,
00:37:07you can climb on up there and nail yourself to it.
00:37:17Marcus!
00:37:26What are you?
00:37:27What are you doing?
00:37:34Yes, the movie did well. We are very proud.
00:37:46The adjudicator, of course, he picks the winner.
00:37:50You are a good one, right?
00:37:52Yes, you are a good one.
00:37:55He's just an official. Gabriel chose the winner.
00:37:58I know, Alan, and I hope we have made a big impression on him and his father, Gabriel.
00:38:03Well, we do rap movie next.
00:38:25There was a lot of nudity in Gods.
00:38:29Yes, well, nudity was very important in our story of Gods of Shorty.
00:38:35But some were more comfortable than others.
00:38:39I think sometimes nudity is considered controversial in some cultures
00:38:44because it challenges the standards of modesty.
00:38:48Yes, exactly. Nudity, it's a state of mind.
00:38:52I'll happily wander around the house all day with no clothes on,
00:38:56just let it all hang out, feel that breeze.
00:39:00It's quite liberating.
00:39:03Would I be shallow if I said size doesn't matter?
00:39:10It's perfectly adequate.
00:39:17Is it true that it's all a farce?
00:39:21I don't really know.
00:39:23While you seem very close with Alan, you must have told us something.
00:39:28This is starting to feel like an intervention.
00:39:30Or maybe an interrogation.
00:39:32It's because everyone is hiding something.
00:39:35Esme, we're just curious.
00:39:38This festival is really important to us.
00:39:41We have vested interest.
00:39:45Look, I don't want to speak out of turn and I understand that you guys are anxious,
00:39:50but really you have to speak to Alan about this.
00:39:52Oh, we will. Don't you worry about that.
00:39:55Mm.
00:39:58The mountain has arrived.
00:40:01You know, we all know that you're here.
00:40:03Can you help with this, please?
00:40:05They know, Alan. You might as well just tell me the truth.
00:40:08The truth will set you free.
00:40:10Okay. I've spoken to my dad in the hospital. He is getting better.
00:40:14It is a question of whether he can do the sign-off, though.
00:40:17No, he can't. Not while he's in hospital.
00:40:20What's the sign-off?
00:40:21The festival director has to sign off on the adjudicator's paperwork.
00:40:26Can't Alan do that?
00:40:28Are you the festival director, Alan?
00:40:30No, I'm...
00:40:31Yeah, not the festival director, then.
00:40:34What's that smell?
00:40:37Listen, monkey boy, I swear to God and the Sonny Jesus,
00:40:42if you don't find a solution, I'm going to dropkick your head!
00:40:46And I've done seven days. Intensive stage combat.
00:40:50You watch yourself.
00:41:03Forget the gold particle this is producing.
00:41:06Oh, yeah. Just without the money or the credit.
00:41:09You'll cut out for greater things.
00:41:11Yeah, well, you clearly haven't met my dad. He's going to kill my movie.
00:41:16Still living in his shadow, just like Tug. Be thou known self, be true.
00:41:20Yeah, well, that's really easy for you to say.
00:41:21You're an award-winning actress with a string of movie tiles behind you and I'm just...
00:41:25And you're currently a festival director.
00:41:29Ah, yeah, I see. Trying to sway influence with the festival director to try and win an award.
00:41:33It's not going to work.
00:41:35Oh, my. What's a girl got to do?
00:41:39Mate, borrow your shaver?
00:41:42Yeah, sure. Whatever you need.
00:41:44Keep that towel on and I'll cut your hair.
00:41:48Hotel cleaning service?
00:41:49For sure.
00:41:51Mike, can we grab a look at your movie?
00:41:54Sure. It's your funeral.
00:42:04Well, this is it.
00:42:06This is where Iron Mike is staying tonight.
00:42:11Because I did have three iron bathtubs.
00:42:13They were all tied together.
00:42:15And it was really, really, really good.
00:42:17Always get a wee check on the buns because you just don't know what's on these buns.
00:42:22Mike, this is good.
00:42:26And phone boxes.
00:42:28Always keep your eye out for them.
00:42:30A lot of people must them.
00:42:32It's really good.
00:42:33It was like...
00:42:52It has to need some jelly.
00:42:58Oh, I don't know where I got this one away.
00:43:12You, uh, you calm down, yeah?
00:43:17Can I sit?
00:43:18Help yourself, you usually do.
00:43:21I wake up this morning and you're gone.
00:43:23I didn't think you'd notice they're intensely snoring.
00:43:27I'm at a loss here, Esme.
00:43:30What's going on?
00:43:33Do you remember the little talk me and you had?
00:43:35I support you, you support me.
00:43:39That's all I ever do is support you.
00:43:42Yeah, well you've been missing an action all weekend.
00:43:46I've been here all this time.
00:43:48The question is where have you been?
00:43:51Clever.
00:43:53How's that working out for you?
00:43:54Yeah.
00:43:56That's the thing about relationships.
00:43:59They give you reason to live.
00:44:02Revenge.
00:44:04Hey, hey.
00:44:05Do you remember this?
00:44:06I've heard there was a secret chord.
00:44:10No.
00:44:10That David played, it pleased the Lord.
00:44:14But you don't really care for movies, do you?
00:44:19It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth.
00:44:23Sit down.
00:44:24The major falls, the minor lifts, the baffling composing hallelujah.
00:44:34No?
00:44:36Those old cheap moves aren't going to work on me anymore.
00:44:38I've got plenty of new cheap moves for you.
00:44:41How are you going to face all these people when they find out you paid for the award?
00:44:45The question is, babe, do you feel paid for?
00:45:01Esme.
00:45:06That's bad GG, mate.
00:45:07You need to let her take a moment.
00:45:08but she's upset having your bridges burn is never going to be easy but she's strong
00:45:27i think he's better from an older person but this is your fault jess you were in a
00:45:34movie she was very giving as an actress yeah okay can one of you please just tell me what's going
00:45:40on
00:45:43rachel can't do it oh we forgot jade posted on rachel's socials that she was so
00:45:48bitchy she's probably playing the werewolf why because it was my role
00:46:00oh wow what a transformation hey got myself some new threads
00:46:09it's gonna be a long night
00:46:24i mean this is getting ridiculous
00:46:30sorry caroline hi um hey alan could i be the most beautiful girl in the world
00:46:39caroline wow um what are you doing here i mean i i'm glad that you are but why
00:46:47seems most men take advantage except you of course
00:46:52giggles was a mistake i'll still do your announcements if you want me really oh caroline
00:47:01absolutely that'd be amazing yes yes thank you thank you so much
00:47:05wow slain it mike nobody even seen a man on a suit uh she's just getting a bit excited
00:47:12a film show in the day malicious intent gangster comedy has malicious intent even got a chance
00:47:19well it's a lower budget than tugs film but hopefully we spent the money where it really mattered
00:47:25we got the secret ingredient me i'm the secret ingredient well look when millie was 10 we'd done
00:47:32a short film together called daddy's girl
00:47:37those clips are a springboard for malicious intent it's like the story picks up from that point
00:47:45she was much cuter then not such a pain in the ass
00:47:52well the best advice i can give is that you never know who's going to grow up to be famous
00:47:57so just make yourself available oh don't be a tart well i wish it was beyonce
00:48:06i've been looking for you i found me well i thought maybe you wanted some space
00:48:11good choice we could just kill all the girls prettier than me or maybe just tug so
00:48:20where are all the good guys sad in the heart or in the head you think i'm a good guy
00:48:26well when your instinct tells you to do something you don't do it so maybe when it tells you not
00:48:33to
00:48:33that's when you should oh read the room ellen this is the consensual kissing part uh
00:48:44caroline's back
00:48:48um your ex that caught with your best friend caroline yeah um she uh she wants to present
00:48:55the awards that's good i guess great for you well the whole thing with giggles was a mistake i mean
00:49:01i always thought so but i guess she's realized it too so um yeah no great um so pleased for
00:49:07you
00:49:09are you okay yeah just peachy learning lessons all the time right um sorry just one second thank you
00:49:30ladies and gentlemen i would be happy to present our next film malicious intent no no no no wait wait
00:49:39wait
00:49:43um
00:49:47my apologies there will now be a short interval as i need a word with the festival director
00:49:55young man
00:49:58this is totally irregular my paperwork should have been signed and she mailed off this morning
00:50:06so i understand he's he's just busy he fobbed me off with that before where is your father he is
00:50:14festival director fully understand uh end of the next movie he'll be here yeah listen young man
00:50:20this might seem like a game to you but it's also my job and i don't like explaining to my
00:50:26line
00:50:26managers that i can't manage a simple task such as getting a signature stand on me i will sort it
00:50:37so big day uh yeah it is
00:51:03i curse them to hell as her boat fought the swell a ship danced like a moth in the firelight
00:51:13wild horses rode high as the devil passed by taking souls into hades by twilight
00:51:23five weeks out to sea we were now 43 we buried our comrades each morning
00:51:31in our own slime we were lost in the time endless night we were dawning
00:51:54so essentially it's like a black ops uh agent oh oh caroline you have to meet our president movie star
00:52:00esme presley today everyone's a star they're all billed as star angle also starring without earning
00:52:07that recognition caroline you're back from outer space i notice you cry a lot in your films your
00:52:15tear ducts must be very close to your bladder has alan talked you into the presenting all these best
00:52:21actress nominees and i'm just thinking shut up and get a salad uh so um caroline thinks that we should
00:52:27just come clean with the adjudicator not the best idea is that your own thought or do you need a
00:52:34screenwriter
00:52:35uh caroline we should be friends yes i agree best friends
00:52:46i think that ending needs work how about less silly questions and a bit more shut the hell up
00:52:51how did you make her look younger in the film was that computer stuff
00:52:55this is a man who thinks the plural of goose is sheep i ain't saying anything so then your uh
00:53:03your style's clearly more gangster than it is horror hey that character played dudley in your movie
00:53:11he was awesome joy all right ladies and gentlemen our next film is
00:53:22sex have fun
00:53:57Time don't wait for no one
00:54:02There's no escape from what I must do
00:54:06Turn around and bend over
00:54:09I can't wait forever
00:54:12I think it's time to leave
00:54:16I'm young, I'm all dressed up
00:54:19I'm on my way to marry the asexual awakening
00:54:22And there's 290 years separating me from the films of Kevin Smith
00:54:26But that doesn't mean it's true
00:54:32If time don't wait for no one
00:54:37How can I wait for you
00:54:42Tough love
00:54:43Tough love
00:54:44The cards are on the table
00:54:48It is complete love
00:54:50It is complete love
00:54:52The cards will do
00:55:02Didn't fancy sex then?
00:55:04It was beauty that killed the beast
00:55:07Malicious intent should be good competition for Tug
00:55:10It might blindside him
00:55:13We can hope so
00:55:14But look, I'm probably the most non-competitive person here
00:55:17So I win
00:55:20Secrets and lies
00:55:23Come with me
00:55:28This is bang out of order
00:55:29Have you any idea how much shit I went through to get the day off today?
00:55:33This ain't my day job, you know
00:55:34It's not Alan's fault
00:55:36Well this does land squarely on Alan's door
00:55:40I was thinking, since no one saw the ending of my film
00:55:44Can we screen it again maybe?
00:55:48Look at you, all of you
00:55:50No problem is too big
00:55:52We can't fix it if we work together
00:55:54Esme, you're beautiful on the inside
00:55:57But it's important you understand your limitations
00:56:00Alan, what I'm saying is
00:56:03If anyone actually saw the ending of the film
00:56:05Then people would know that my character disguises itself as older
00:56:08I will play your dad
00:56:10And I will sign off this whole festival
00:56:16What?
00:56:17Come on, good range
00:56:21Him
00:56:23I can't play Gabriel
00:56:25That accent's incredibly tricky
00:56:27If you don't do it
00:56:28Then all of this is over for everyone
00:56:32Hello son
00:56:33How are you?
00:56:35Oh god, this has disaster written all over it
00:56:39Something is missing
00:56:40Could be range
00:56:43The meanness
00:56:44Yeah, Gabriel is an arsehole
00:56:47Oi, I'm not happy
00:56:49And I don't like it
00:56:50Oh my god
00:56:53There's me
00:56:54Is my foot scrub in there?
00:56:58Yes, it's gotta be brilliant
00:57:02And bring me a razor as well, will you?
00:57:22Yeah
00:57:23You've been blowing hot and cold me all day
00:57:25Everything's fine in my world
00:57:28You might want to tell your face that
00:57:31This is a big day for us
00:57:33You bought the award, Tug
00:57:35Hardly meritable
00:57:37I read a book about this once
00:57:38You sure it was a book?
00:57:40You sure it wasn't nothing?
00:57:41This is show business
00:57:43Not care business
00:57:46You're like all the worst parts of a girlfriend
00:57:49And do you not want to meet a producer?
00:57:52And just for that when the movie comes out I'm going to get Matt Damon to play you
00:57:56Oh
00:57:58Well maybe I'll get Jade to play you then
00:58:00Jade?
00:58:02Yeah
00:58:03Your new producing partner
00:58:05A little girl on girl action
00:58:10I'm joking
00:58:12Unless
00:58:12Unless you'd be up for it
00:58:22Jesus, I was only joking
00:58:23It's not a joke
00:58:25I'm feeling lost
00:58:27Hey
00:58:27I've heard there was a secret chord
00:58:30Stop
00:58:31That Michael played to please the Lord
00:58:33Stop
00:58:36If I explained it I think I'd only confuse you
00:58:41Do you know what?
00:58:43I think it's times like this
00:58:44If I wasn't a multi-award win and talented filmmaker
00:58:48And you were just an ordinary girl
00:58:49Then we wouldn't have these problems
00:58:53On Gods of Shoreditch I was supposed to be an associate producer
00:58:57But in reality I was more of a dog's body
00:59:00Seriously, this again
00:59:02I told you
00:59:03It's whatever it takes to get this shot
00:59:09Look
00:59:10You can produce the next one in full
00:59:12Yeah, my dad's already on board
00:59:15Take that back
00:59:17And I'll kill you
00:59:19You're the producer
00:59:22Game face on
00:59:24Hooray for Hollywood
00:59:37Didn't you hold the bloody lift?
00:59:39Oh, didn't I?
00:59:43Come on
00:59:43Come on
00:59:47Yes
00:59:49Oh, God
01:00:09Are you not going to change for the paparazzi shorts?
01:00:12It's not really my thing
01:00:13Besides, Gabriel would wear something like this, right?
01:00:16No, I've got a bad feeling about this
01:00:18Listen, son
01:00:18I've got this old routine worked out
01:00:20No routine, okay?
01:00:22This isn't an audition
01:00:23Just say hello and then sign the pissing document
01:00:25Where's your wife?
01:00:27I think we should just come clean
01:00:29Hello
01:00:30Hello
01:00:31Hello
01:00:31You must be the adjudicator
01:00:33My son, Alan, has been telling me all about you
01:00:38Sorry for being a bit busy
01:00:39This film festival malarkey
01:00:41Kept me on my toes
01:00:42Yes
01:00:43Seems to have ramped up a notch
01:00:46With the screening of Gods of Shoreditch
01:00:48One of my personal favourites
01:00:50Um
01:00:51Now that you're here
01:00:55My paperwork needs a signature
01:00:58Absolutely
01:00:59Happy to
01:01:01Thank you
01:01:06Oh, sorry
01:01:07Forgot who I was there for a second
01:01:12Is that her what?
01:01:14I'll need a final signing off
01:01:17When the winners are announced
01:01:21Your accent seems off
01:01:28It's push voice
01:01:30A push telephone voice
01:01:32Yeah
01:01:33I should use it all the time really
01:01:36Right
01:01:36Your honour
01:01:37May I show you to the next screening?
01:01:46You know, my movies
01:01:47Are inherently amazing
01:01:50It's all about the big screen
01:01:53And it's not easy being an action star
01:01:57Thank you
01:02:02Shouldn't you be up there now that you're here
01:02:07Yes, absolutely
01:02:09He is such a star when it comes to the things
01:02:17Ladies and gentlemen
01:02:18I'd like to introduce to you
01:02:22Gods of Shoreditch
01:02:25And it stars
01:02:26Big round of applause
01:02:27For it stars
01:02:28Esme Presley
01:02:30And
01:02:31Tug Speedman
01:02:47Good entrance
01:02:48You want to see the one I'm going to make
01:02:50When I win my award
01:02:54What?
01:02:55No!
01:02:55Get out!
01:02:58Crazy filmmakers
01:02:59Trying to draw attention to their film
01:03:02I thought they were quite fun
01:03:08You know, they do say I'm the new Robert Rodriguez
01:03:10Except I star in my own movies as well
01:03:13Maybe Robert was smarter
01:03:21You fought well
01:03:22Despite the twist of ankle
01:03:25You will live to fight another day
01:03:27And I assure you
01:03:29It is not serious
01:03:30I took the liberty
01:03:31Of feeling the bone
01:03:33And it is perfectly sound
01:03:36Oh, sir
01:03:37How will I ever thank you?
01:03:39Please
01:03:40Do not think of it
01:03:41It is my honour to serve you
01:03:45Will you not be seated?
01:03:47Pray
01:03:47Excuse me
01:03:49I do not wish to leave a watermark
01:03:53Permit me to call tomorrow afternoon
01:03:57So that I may inquire after you
01:04:04Fight hard
01:04:06Fight for me
01:04:14Alan's pitching me some shitty book movie
01:04:19The Gold Particle is the third book in a series
01:04:22That guy
01:04:23The Irish Connection
01:04:25Masaka and fucking Chips
01:04:27Shit
01:04:29That director is the worst
01:04:31He couldn't even direct traffic
01:04:33You know, they should have come to
01:04:35Me
01:04:36Tug Speedman
01:04:39You know I'm right, babe
01:04:54Fun and happiness and short supply
01:04:57Out of the frying pan and into the fire
01:04:59It's always difficult when one person moves on
01:05:03I spoke to Dad this morning
01:05:06He's recovering
01:05:07But no mention of my movie
01:05:09So
01:05:10Nice guys don't finish last
01:05:12Yeah
01:05:15You're planning something that's going to get me in trouble, aren't you?
01:05:18Oh, most definitely
01:05:42You best move out of the way and let me be
01:05:44This is not how it works
01:05:46Nice time, stunt boy
01:05:48Oh, fuck
01:05:50Ah
01:06:18Alan?
01:06:22Thank you everyone for your kind words and praise.
01:06:26The buffet has been provided by yours truly.
01:06:29Fill your guts.
01:06:33You really don't have to do this.
01:06:35You know they have a meal before their wards.
01:06:37These ain't for me.
01:06:54That went well.
01:06:55Thanks for that.
01:06:56What happened to the group?
01:06:58This is the best fun I've had all year.
01:07:06What's this?
01:07:08Naughty movies?
01:07:09Or my ransom demands?
01:07:14We have a late entry to the film festival.
01:07:18And I wanted you to experience it in my full company.
01:07:27Late entries are highly irregular.
01:07:36But this could be a lot of fun.
01:07:40Well, this is it.
01:07:42This is where Iron Mike is staying the night.
01:07:46Because I did have three iron bathtubs.
01:07:49They were all tied together.
01:07:51And it was really, really, really good.
01:07:55I don't know what you want me to say.
01:07:57Mike's was the best film.
01:07:59I have no patience with best.
01:08:01I have no patience with fairness.
01:08:04Life is not fair.
01:08:05Love is not fair.
01:08:07And as long as we still breathe the air of a free capitalist society, business will never be fair.
01:08:18Sacrifice, Alan.
01:08:20Like the kamikaze pilots used to do.
01:08:23Yeah, that's a discomforting stay, isn't it?
01:08:25Hemorrhoids cause discomfort.
01:08:28This is open heart surgery.
01:08:36Fuck the phone, Alan.
01:08:38You said I could produce.
01:08:40I will knock you the fuck out right here, right now.
01:08:44We did the right thing.
01:08:47Are you okay?
01:08:51Movie stars do not have opinions.
01:08:56Sorry, I know you're his dad.
01:08:58But Alan worked damn hard throughout this festival.
01:09:01And I suppose the bros code is over now, you fucking tugs wife.
01:09:05I think I'm done here.
01:09:09We're bloody ruins.
01:09:22Oh, Alan.
01:09:24You know what I'm going to say.
01:09:25Yes, I know.
01:09:25You're ending.
01:09:26But I'm not being funny.
01:09:27The only thing I care about ending is this festival.
01:09:29Eyes front.
01:09:31God, does making movies have to be all this difficult?
01:09:34I'm looking forward to this.
01:09:35Who's doing your presentation?
01:09:37Hope is a surprise.
01:09:38Oh, me too.
01:09:39If she shows up.
01:09:41Oh, no.
01:09:43I do love surprises.
01:09:57Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for our wonderful guest speaker, Caroline Doherty.
01:10:08So very glad to be here this evening amongst all the wonderful filmmakers and stars.
01:10:15To be a filmmaker, you have to be psychotic in your desire to do something.
01:10:21For the first category, best actress in a feature film.
01:10:27Millie Ward.
01:10:29Millie Ward.
01:10:33Esme Presley in Gods of Shoreditch.
01:10:39And Fran Walsh in Hey, Mr. DJ.
01:10:45And the winner is...
01:10:47This is just a start.
01:10:49Esme Presley.
01:10:55So very well done.
01:10:56I would like to show my immense gratitude to all of the team involved in Gods.
01:11:09And for our first Best Picture nominee, we have Hey Mr DJ.
01:11:15You didn't think to thank me, the man who made it all happen.
01:11:18A film about a time in the 90s where DJs were Gods and gangsters ruled the streets.
01:11:24Your ego will be stroked enough tonight.
01:11:27Let's have a look.
01:11:34What'd you throw up there?
01:11:36Just some bags I was storing stuff in.
01:11:40Right, get yourself freshened up. Got a great place for us to go to.
01:11:44Oscar, I'm not feeling up to it.
01:11:45Hey, you're single now remember? Half an hour off.
01:11:50And the next category is Best Newcomer nominees.
01:11:55Lin Chang for Opera in the Evening Garden.
01:11:59Millie Ward for Malicious Intent.
01:12:02And Jess Bronski in Mysterious.
01:12:07And the winner is Millie Ward in Malicious Intent.
01:12:17Oh my god, I don't even know what to say.
01:12:19Thank you so much to the festival.
01:12:22Thank you so much to everyone that I've met.
01:12:25And if you would like to come for drinks afterwards, then meet me at 7th.
01:12:31She knows how proud I am of her, doesn't you?
01:12:34Hey, I was nervous and I got one.
01:12:37I mean, it looks like roughly the right shape.
01:12:40I mean, it's gonna save me a tonne of berries.
01:12:43And our next Best Film nominee is for Malicious Intent.
01:13:05And the next category is Best Editing nominees.
01:13:09We have Emmett Bronski in Mysterious.
01:13:13Target Speedman for Gods of Shoreditch.
01:13:17George Chang for Opera in the Evening Garden.
01:13:21And the winner is...
01:13:23Well, this is a vindication considering no one saw the ending.
01:13:27And our third Best Film nominee is Gods of Shoreditch.
01:13:32A story about time-travelling gangsters.
01:13:36By night one way, by day another.
01:13:39This shall be the norm.
01:13:40Until you take true love's first kiss.
01:13:43And love takes its true form.
01:13:50These are no one out!
01:13:53And a rather exciting category, Best Actor nominees.
01:13:58We have George Chang in Opera in Evening Garden.
01:14:05Ashraf Ward in Malicious Intent.
01:14:09Tug Speedman in Gods of Shoreditch.
01:14:13The winner is...
01:14:17Tug Speedman.
01:14:21Gutted, mate.
01:14:22Proper gutted.
01:14:24Honestly thought I was in movies chat.
01:14:27Me too.
01:14:29I was the best actor.
01:14:31And our fourth Best Film nominee...
01:14:34I didn't know nothing about no.
01:14:35Fourth nomination.
01:14:37...is a work of modern day art versus immense need.
01:14:41Now, let's have a look at Homelessness and The Man by Mike Reed.
01:14:46So there's certain things that you would do...
01:14:48Certain things you look for.
01:14:49Like shopping centre.
01:14:51Pounds out of the trolleys.
01:14:52That's a pound.
01:14:54Pounds, like...
01:14:57200 pound.
01:14:59And we're down to the final award of the evening.
01:15:01Best overall film of the festival.
01:15:05And the winner is...
01:15:07Hardly a win if you paid for it.
01:15:11Mike Reed.
01:15:25It looks like you might just run Best Film Tag.
01:15:30Thanks and everything.
01:15:32The beds are really comfortable.
01:15:38This isn't right.
01:15:40That fucking film wasn't even in the program.
01:15:43What the hell even is this fucking shit film?
01:15:45My daddy paid for all of this.
01:15:48What are you talking about?
01:15:50This is all paper.
01:15:52No, not him.
01:15:53That's just a shit actor.
01:15:56This is outrageous.
01:15:57I knew something was wrong.
01:16:01Okay.
01:16:02I thought he was pretty convincing.
01:16:04You've falsified records.
01:16:07There may well be charges.
01:16:09What charges?
01:16:10No, no, please.
01:16:11All right, look, I'm sorry.
01:16:12This whole thing was my fault.
01:16:14Don't punish or charge anyone else.
01:16:16My dad, Gabriel, guy from the phone,
01:16:19had a massive heart attack.
01:16:21And he had so much money invested in this festival.
01:16:24And is Tug Speedman telling the truth?
01:16:27Technically, yes.
01:16:28Most of it was his money.
01:16:30His father's money.
01:16:31Yes, but we went with our hearts.
01:16:33And that's why Mike won Best Film.
01:16:36I don't judge the films.
01:16:38He's merely here to make sure that the festival is run properly.
01:16:41From what you're telling me,
01:16:43this has been an absolute farce.
01:16:53Mr. Audjudicator, excuse me for interrupting.
01:16:56I have known Esme a long time.
01:16:59And, well, if my word has any bearing,
01:17:04Esme, she always speaks from her heart.
01:17:08Ms. Warren.
01:17:12Warren.
01:17:15Ms. Warren.
01:17:17I am a huge fan of your movies.
01:17:23And your words do carry significant weight.
01:17:27But this is an official matter.
01:17:31I fully understand that.
01:17:35But if Esme says that Homeless Man is the best film,
01:17:42I would not disagree.
01:17:44Thank you, Rachel.
01:17:47You're welcome.
01:17:48It's welcome.
01:18:06I'm looking forward to seeing you as a young boy.
01:18:06I'm looking forward to seeing you as a young boy.
01:18:07And she's looking forward to seeing it all in your future.
01:18:15And, you know, I'm looking forward to seeing you as a young boy.
01:18:15So this is the only one that you've ever seen in your shoes.
01:18:21Sometimes he's got to take the chances.
01:18:23Do you regret taking a chance on me?
01:18:26Who am I to argue with the producer?
01:18:32Do you miss Tuck?
01:18:35Wherever he is and whatever he's doing, let's just hope he's not missing us.
01:18:51Total submission, bitches.
01:18:54Is this gonna hurt?
01:18:56True love is pain.
01:19:18It's gonna hurt.
01:19:46Just say,
01:19:54Turn over and action.
01:20:02I'm not playing a street walker.
01:20:05It's a tarp with a heart.
01:20:07What a second rate street walker wearing an outfit like this.
01:20:09I'm first class, one best new come up.
01:20:11Just do it Harry's written please babe.
01:20:15Idiot.
01:20:19So you know the saying, never work with children or animals.
01:20:24Not me really.
01:20:26You're a bad deal.
01:21:01You're a bad deal.
01:21:13You're a bad deal.
01:21:27You're a bad deal.
01:21:44Some beautiful paths can't be discovered without getting lost.
01:21:50I never did thank you, did I?
01:21:56Emmet.
01:22:01I've got something for you.
01:22:02Oh god please do not kidnap me now.
01:22:05You'll like this.
01:22:09Oh please he did it to himself when we went back on his word.
01:22:15You're welcome.
01:22:18Why did you just not leave us alone?
01:22:21We told you time and time again but you still don't listen to you sister.
01:22:29Oh okay.
01:22:32Oh okay.
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