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00:00:13Hi there. It's possible that we've all underappreciated Australian TV this year. Not the usual way we
00:00:18underappreciate Justine Clarke or pre-disco Bee Gees. I mean, firstly, we underappreciated
00:00:24how TV can still make headlines. Sure, that was largely because of forced separate reports
00:00:28into toxic workplaces within television, but it's all still buzz around water coolers.
00:00:32Just not any network ones, obviously. We also underappreciated how TV can still cater to
00:00:38everyone, like how Nine broadcasts the vaguely threatening Do You Want to Live Forever, but
00:00:42then later in the year, A Remarkable Place to Die, a programming scope so wide that it appealed
00:00:47to everything on earth. And we underappreciated TV's ability to atone, like how Bruce Lerman
00:00:53dragged Channel 7 into all of that disgusting slop. However, 7 did air Fam Time this year,
00:00:59which is basically a redemption arc to rival Ebenezer Scrooge. But one thing's for sure,
00:01:04when it came to appreciating Australian TV in 2024, we'll never be as keen for it as
00:01:08Grant Daniel was. Yeah, and if that's the kind of energy you're looking for here, it's just
00:01:19one of the many ways you'll be disappointed by me, Mitch McTaggart, showing you the last
00:01:23year of television.
00:01:44In terms of stuff happening this year, there was certainly plenty of it. There was absolute
00:01:48shock as the Kardashians failed to pick up an actor award. The cancellation of Farscape,
00:01:539-11, this. Sky News gave the public what they wanted with a $5 per month streaming service.
00:01:59Finally, there's yet another way to watch defenceless Aboriginal teens getting ambushed by the Garfunkel
00:02:04of Stefanovic's. But enough sizzle, let's get stuck in.
00:02:12Deal or No Deal, formerly on Channel 7, jump ship to Channel 10, because why do something
00:02:17new and we can just retry someone else's hit? Meanwhile, Gladiators also jump ship to 10,
00:02:22because why do something new and we can just retry someone else's hit? Except for a 2008
00:02:27retry that wasn't a hit either. 10's reboot lacked a fair bit of dynamism, as seen here
00:02:33in these shots from a Year 12 PE class, but it was also pretty light on with the campy tone.
00:02:38On the other hand, the UK's BBC reboot, which premiered this year too, leaned into the cheesy
00:02:43much more, complete with villain story arcs and greater theatrics. It was also a massive
00:02:48hit, with weekly episodes averaging about 6 million UK viewers. Even its opening theme slapped,
00:02:55establishing pretty clearly the tone of the show you're about to watch.
00:02:59Do you feel the power of the Gladiators? Do you have the will and the skill?
00:03:10And now that you're all horny, here's the Australian theme song.
00:03:20Yeah, look, a little harder to wank to, but I still did OK.
00:03:25Critics pointed out that local versions of formats like Gladiators and also 10's The Traders
00:03:30had been far bigger successes internationally, but failed here, with Australian executives
00:03:34vaguely blaming the audience themselves for dropping off. OK, thanks, but maybe you shouldn't
00:03:40have replaced the entire live crowd with lame sound effects in the hope that no-one noticed.
00:03:44Spoiler, everyone noticed. Maybe you shouldn't have broadcast five 90-minute episodes per week
00:03:49like total psychopaths, and maybe Australian TV executives just suck at adapting these shows.
00:03:55But what would I know? I'm just a member of the audience whose fault this all was.
00:04:01Meanwhile, over on Nine, a news graphic depicted Victorian MP Georgie Purcell with her midriff exposed
00:04:06and her breasts enlarged, in a modification from the original photo.
00:04:09Nine tried to blame automation by Photoshop, or AI, for the error, but the makers of Photoshop
00:04:14disagreed, saying that those kinds of alterations are only possible with deliberate human intervention
00:04:19and approval. But regardless of what happened or how, I just love this period of news where
00:04:25AI is the answer to everything. Not only can you blame it for unintentional breast enlargements,
00:04:30you can use it to write sentences in articles like,
00:04:32a 40-year-old woman in her 30s. Great stuff. Or just make it the entire story,
00:04:38scaring viewers about its endless potential.
00:04:41Distinguishing between what's real and fake can be impossible.
00:04:44We put together this crude version in just a few minutes using a free app. Just a little
00:04:51more time and the outcome would have been undetectable to even a trained eye.
00:04:55Wow! Just imagine how undetectable AI could have been had they paid for the app.
00:05:02Tell you what, I'm imagining chills.
00:05:05Australian megachurches got the relationship drama treatment with Prosper on Stan,
00:05:10a succession-style family drama.
00:05:15Hmm. That's weird.
00:05:17For a study of religion, it's a surprisingly tame one.
00:05:20The show seems to be aiming for character relatability here,
00:05:23which, in the context of a morally bankrupt family running a megachurch,
00:05:27is an odd choice, like frozen yogurt or getting Todd Woodbridge to host Tipping Point.
00:05:31And he's pretty good.
00:05:33An overall storyline is Ustar's international expansion into Los Angeles,
00:05:37which is quite unique and interesting.
00:05:39Yet, that plot is repeatedly sidelined throughout the series
00:05:42to allow for more basic drama, including a paternity mystery,
00:05:46a random health crisis and Australian TV staple, gay turmoil.
00:05:50Plus, to round out the runtime, characters repeatedly quoting the Bible.
00:05:54Corinthians, do everything with love.
00:05:57Romans says, neither death nor life.
00:06:01Sin is a weight we carry that separates us from a holy God.
00:06:06Isaiah 59 too.
00:06:08Mmm, Jesus wept.
00:06:09It's probably deeply unfair to compare Prosper to HBO's The Righteous Gemstones,
00:06:14a bigger-budget, prestige crime comedy drama.
00:06:17But we will anyway.
00:06:19There's a far greater sense of this family's in-world presence and impact,
00:06:22and the narrative possibilities feel genuinely endless,
00:06:25whereas Prosper seems hesitant to push their characters
00:06:28toward any kind of genuine complications.
00:06:30And both shows aren't just similar because of the megachurch setting either.
00:06:34Their respective first episodes both involve the plot point
00:06:36of a male main character getting caught on film doing lines of cocaine
00:06:40with a woman in a hotel, which is then used to blackmail the same character later,
00:06:44jeopardising the church's expansion.
00:06:45I mean, Corinthians 4.16 does say,
00:06:49I urge you to imitate me.
00:06:50So I think we're fine.
00:06:57Four Corners' first program of the year got the Woolies CEO walking out of an interview,
00:07:02who later resigned amidst a storm of bad optics.
00:07:05Great.
00:07:05If Four Corners could now do,
00:07:06real estate agents, Kyle Sanderlands and my Year 8 math teacher,
00:07:10that'd be fantastic.
00:07:11And she's probably dead anyway.
00:07:13So that's an easy win for Aunty.
00:07:16Sunrise panellist and occasional politician Barnaby Joyce was filmed...
00:07:20Lying on a street in Canberra, shouting on the telephone
00:07:23after a long parliamentary sitting day.
00:07:26And then had to front the media about it.
00:07:28I made a big mistake.
00:07:29There's no excuse for it.
00:07:31There's a reason.
00:07:32Yes, there's no excuse for it, but here's an excuse for it.
00:07:36So you mixed alcohol with prescription medication, did you?
00:07:39And this is what happened?
00:07:40That's exactly what I said, yep.
00:07:44Hmm.
00:07:45Hmm.
00:07:45It's really quite alarming the number of specifically white men in the media
00:07:49who embarrass themselves publicly and then attribute it to alcohol or drugs.
00:07:52Like Eddie Maguire suggesting in 2013 that Adam Good should be used
00:07:56to promote the musical King Kong, then blaming antibiotics for it.
00:08:00Or like Chris Smith at two different Christmas parties,
00:08:02with behaviour ranging from being inappropriate with women
00:08:05to exposing himself, then blaming it all on the wrong antidepressants.
00:08:09Or like Chris Smith again at a third Christmas party,
00:08:11doing pretty much the same thing he did the first two times,
00:08:14pause this screen if you want.
00:08:15But good on him for always getting invited though.
00:08:18Anyway, point is, there's no need to ever blame yourself for your own mistakes,
00:08:21which is why I take no accountability.
00:08:23It works unbelievably fast so I can say and do whatever bullshit I want,
00:08:28with basically zero damage to my public image.
00:08:30No accountability can be taken safely with drugs and alcohol.
00:08:34In fact, it always should.
00:08:36No one could escape Taylor Swift.
00:08:38This is a different thing now.
00:08:40With endless stories about her Australian arrival, her first concert,
00:08:43her eating food, fans buying merch, her last concert.
00:08:47Basically, the news was willing to put to air anything remotely related to Taylor Swift,
00:08:51no matter how inane.
00:08:52Some lowlights.
00:08:54A reporter standing at Brisbane Airport,
00:08:55talking about how people were presumably taking flights out of Brisbane
00:08:58to see Taylor Swift because she wasn't performing in Brisbane.
00:09:01Very informative.
00:09:02How about Sydney's asbestos-laden mulch being found in a garden near the concert venue,
00:09:07with vague concerns that Taylor's show might be cancelled because of it.
00:09:10It wasn't, so it was fine.
00:09:12Then, A Current Affair gave us this smug intro.
00:09:15We've never seen anything quite like this gang.
00:09:19Members of Cross Borders, gathered in their thousands,
00:09:22speaking their own code.
00:09:24If you're not part of it, it might scare you a little.
00:09:28And right now they're pouring into the MCG,
00:09:30ready to catch a glimpse of their fearless leader.
00:09:35Yeah, it's a veritable garden path worthy of Costa himself.
00:09:38But I'm just not sure they understand how grim it is
00:09:40that the entire joke hinges on it sounding like a standard dog whistle intro
00:09:44for A Current Affair.
00:09:45You know, the show that it is.
00:09:47That they make.
00:09:54Under Investigation is a program that's been on the air since 2021,
00:09:57with Season 6 airing this year.
00:10:00For those unaware, the show purports to give public exposure to the...
00:10:04Mysteries that have baffled investigators and remained unsolved.
00:10:09By getting a bunch of experts, cut back to me for a sec, experts,
00:10:12thank you, we'll come back to that,
00:10:13to sit around a table with a cold case and just chat it all through.
00:10:18For the large part, the show has been relatively harmless.
00:10:21This year, though, they leapt at the chance to do a topical episode
00:10:24about Samantha Murphy, the Ballarat woman who disappeared
00:10:27while going for a jog on Feb 4.
00:10:30It's the case that's horrifying a nation.
00:10:33Where is Samantha Murphy?
00:10:36The program was broadcast only 24 days after she went missing.
00:10:40Then, eight days after that broadcast,
00:10:42a 22-year-old man was charged with her murder.
00:10:44It's not the first time the show has quickly produced content
00:10:47on current cases.
00:10:49In 2023, the Lee and Gatha mushroom poisoning case
00:10:52was quickly profiled some ten weeks
00:10:54before the arrest of Erin Patterson.
00:10:56The point is, the result of putting to air any programs
00:10:59about a high-profile investigation in progress
00:11:02gives it a ridiculously low shelf life,
00:11:05offering minimal information
00:11:06and being of little benefit to the overall case.
00:11:09But, in particular reference to this year's
00:11:11Samantha Murphy episode,
00:11:12it's also an appalling hour of television.
00:11:14So, just for a sec,
00:11:16we're going to talk about Under Investigation.
00:11:26Samantha Murphy loved jogging.
00:11:32But on Sunday morning, February the 4th,
00:11:35she literally ran out of sight.
00:11:40Mmm.
00:11:42The Samantha Murphy episode of Under Investigation,
00:11:44produced before the police made any arrests,
00:11:46has little option but to entirely speculate
00:11:48all the various scenarios that could have occurred,
00:11:51like it's some kind of creative writing prompt.
00:11:54Options on the table include,
00:11:55maybe it was a snake bite,
00:11:57maybe it was a heart attack,
00:11:58maybe she accidentally fell down a nearby mine shaft,
00:12:00or maybe she just ran away from her family.
00:12:03A suggestion made all the more gross
00:12:05because it's disgust while showing
00:12:06the heartbreaking public pleas from her daughter.
00:12:10Even if it was any of those scenarios,
00:12:12which it wasn't,
00:12:13speculation is useless and unhelpful.
00:12:16Speaking on 3AW about the Murphy case,
00:12:18the Vic Police Chief Commissioner said specifically
00:12:20to not do that.
00:12:22The public should not speculate
00:12:24and shouldn't be going on social media
00:12:26and shouldn't be speculating on what they think
00:12:28has or hasn't occurred here.
00:12:30But Channel 9 clearly didn't think that request applied to them.
00:12:33And anyway, had an hour of TV to fill.
00:12:35So, the episode shifts to speculating murder scenarios
00:12:38and we hear all the various ways that might have happened,
00:12:41which, to be clear, was 24 days earlier.
00:12:44Someone who targeted, possibly stalked,
00:12:47and almost certainly followed Samantha that morning.
00:12:50The psychopathic type of predator,
00:12:52they would know that area like the back of their hand.
00:12:55Or there were more than one person,
00:12:58one was behind following.
00:12:59Someone perhaps with a grudge against her or her family.
00:13:03Was Samantha running scared?
00:13:06It might be a very convenient place to dispose of a body.
00:13:09You'd probably never find it again.
00:13:10I can't stress enough here that they explore every angle.
00:13:13And I do mean every angle.
00:13:16Ballarat, Samantha Murphy's hometown,
00:13:19carries a dark and violent past.
00:13:22Does it?
00:13:24The Eureka Stockade and the Rebellion.
00:13:27Floody confrontations between miners and authorities.
00:13:31Sure.
00:13:32Maybe her disappearance is connected to a battle from 170 years ago.
00:13:37Fuck's sake.
00:13:38Prior episodes of the show have kept the panel contained within the studio,
00:13:42mostly to look quizzically at printouts and each other.
00:13:45But this time, for whatever reason, that wasn't enough.
00:13:49And for our special investigation,
00:13:51we've also travelled to the town at the heart of this mystery, Ballarat,
00:13:56to see firsthand where Samantha went missing.
00:14:00Yes, under investigation is more on the case than ever before,
00:14:04physically crowbarring themselves into the proceedings.
00:14:07They have some Ballarat group huddles.
00:14:09And good thing they travelled there
00:14:10because the location really expands their insight.
00:14:13I think a 13K run she was going for, she usually does 20Ks
00:14:18and takes about two hours.
00:14:21So she was going to do half of that.
00:14:25I think we're all Liz Hayes in that moment,
00:14:34wondering if what he'd just said was worth a two-hour car ride
00:14:37to stand in a circle.
00:14:39But hey, since they're there,
00:14:40they might as well grab their crew and meander along the same track
00:14:44that Samantha Murphy did,
00:14:45looking compassionately at potential clues
00:14:47while also casually discussing the various ways
00:14:50she might have been killed.
00:14:51This is a perfect spot for an ambush.
00:14:54Someone could be hiding off here to the right
00:14:57and as she's sort of coming through here
00:14:59and then jump out in front of a whack.
00:15:02What a spot, right here.
00:15:04Would not have a hope.
00:15:06Look, I'm not sure how much time has to pass
00:15:09before a man in a beard can wax lyrical about a woman's murder,
00:15:12but I'm fairly certain the answer isn't 24 days.
00:15:16We've discussed at length the ever-increasing crassness
00:15:19of true crime TV.
00:15:20Australia's Most Wanted in the 90s
00:15:22used to be criticised for its distressing content
00:15:24but at least had a clear purpose.
00:15:27AMW set out presenting just the available facts
00:15:30in a concise effort to give cases public exposure.
00:15:33The host was a step removed from the cases,
00:15:36serving purely as a font of information at a distance.
00:15:39But primarily,
00:15:40AMW was produced with direct involvement of police.
00:15:45Under investigation is the complete opposite of all of that.
00:15:48It speculates, they're plotting around the crime scene
00:15:50and it's produced with zero police involvement.
00:15:53Sure, each episode has retired cops
00:15:56or the more vague specialist,
00:15:58but that doesn't matter
00:15:59because none have access to the real investigation
00:16:02and can only speculate with the limited information
00:16:04that police have given to all the media.
00:16:07So they have to act as though
00:16:09they're not ten steps behind the police at all times,
00:16:12leading to some strange statements.
00:16:14Something's happened at that seventh kilometre point
00:16:17that is so significant
00:16:19that they believe that's the point that something happened.
00:16:23Yeah.
00:16:24Something happened which has led police
00:16:26to believe that something happened.
00:16:28I mean, he's not wrong.
00:16:30And without the police releasing to the media
00:16:32any phone or watch data,
00:16:34which is quite clearly vital to the investigation,
00:16:36the program compensates with just shots of phones and watches
00:16:40and fudging it all with fancy graphics.
00:16:43I say fancy graphics,
00:16:44though I've got no idea
00:16:45what those pie charts are meant to be measuring.
00:16:47Channel Nine's integrity
00:16:48probably fluctuating too much.
00:16:50What I'm getting at is,
00:16:52despite their lack of access to a case,
00:16:54there's a baffling arrogance
00:16:55in how under investigation is positioning themselves.
00:16:58The show's own mission statement
00:16:59from the very first promo in 2021 says...
00:17:02We won't stop until we crack it.
00:17:05Couple that with this bold claim from the Samantha Murphy program...
00:17:08It's a case that may turn on a single clue.
00:17:13And that's what we're chasing.
00:17:15..which all suggests that their intention
00:17:17is to solve the case themselves.
00:17:20Sure, they might just be saying that stuff for their opening hook,
00:17:23but with no access to evidence,
00:17:25the thought that Channel Nine personalities
00:17:27view themselves as the saviours of a murder case
00:17:29is cringe-inducing.
00:17:30And given the show's track record of zero breakthroughs,
00:17:33statistically improbable.
00:17:36Imagine Roger Clemson just wandering out of the AMW studio
00:17:39to stand at recent crime scenes and wildly speculate.
00:17:42He'd be sacked,
00:17:43and then under investigation would hire him.
00:17:46Like AMW,
00:17:48and like all episodes of Under Investigation,
00:17:50the Samantha Murphy program ends
00:17:52with the standard prompt to call Crime Stoppers
00:17:54if you've got any leads,
00:17:55which does give it a sense of legitimacy,
00:17:57because you'd think that despite
00:17:59any of the program's shortcomings,
00:18:01it's at least doing a public service.
00:18:02And it's hard to argue against that.
00:18:05But I'll have a go.
00:18:06Give me ten seconds.
00:18:08These kinds of shows done without the cooperation of police
00:18:10generate so many unwanted dud leads from the public
00:18:13that Liz Hayes herself has said,
00:18:15Crime Stoppers would like us to stop.
00:18:18Hmm.
00:18:199.2 seconds.
00:18:21And it's not like they're giving this case
00:18:23much-needed public exposure anyway,
00:18:25because it's not a cold case.
00:18:26It's already one of the biggest missing persons investigations
00:18:29in recent memory.
00:18:31But 9 probably is using the public profile for something,
00:18:34and I'm sure you can have a guess.
00:18:37The episode rated sixth in TV programs for the night,
00:18:40or third in the 25 to 54 demo.
00:18:43An impressive feat considering it had no information,
00:18:46no evidence, and speculated wildly
00:18:48despite the police saying not to.
00:18:50And of course, when I say it was all for ratings,
00:18:53I'm just wildly speculating,
00:18:55but if we've learned anything from the episode,
00:18:57it's that Channel 9 is fine with me doing that.
00:18:59And look, we've got no reason to think
00:19:01that anyone involved with the show is a bad person.
00:19:04However, even assuming the best possible intentions,
00:19:07it's hard to see the result as little more
00:19:09than a hastily produced vapid hour of television
00:19:12that's leveraging a woman's very recent murder
00:19:15just so 9 has some fresh content to put between some ads.
00:19:19Content that can best be summed up like this.
00:19:22The two main hypotheses that we'd want to follow and test,
00:19:26if it's not someone they know,
00:19:28it's going to be someone who's operating
00:19:30perhaps under a psychotic delusion
00:19:32or somebody who is actually a psychopathic predator.
00:19:36OK.
00:19:37Saying that her killer could either be someone she knows
00:19:40or someone she doesn't know
00:19:42is the same as saying nothing.
00:19:43In fact, it's worse than saying nothing.
00:19:47It's publicly contributing hot air
00:19:49to the already monumental trauma
00:19:51of an unthinkable act against a human being
00:19:53as well as her family and her community.
00:19:56It's also a depressing example
00:19:57of just how transient free-to-air television can be.
00:20:01It's not important if the content is good
00:20:03or informative or respectful
00:20:05because, regardless, next week will be more television
00:20:08so it doesn't really matter.
00:20:10Channel 9 is free to make TV however they like
00:20:13and can talk about whatever they want.
00:20:15But I think when it comes to very recent murder
00:20:18as opposed to cold cases,
00:20:20the approach has to be more delicate, not less.
00:20:24Lastly, in his 3OW interview,
00:20:26the Vic Police Chief Commissioner also added...
00:20:28This is traumatic for the family and friends of Samantha
00:20:31and I would just urge everyone
00:20:33just to leave it to police to work through.
00:20:36Exactly.
00:20:36Yet, here's our Channel 9 experts out in the field.
00:20:39No-one's going to hear you crying for help.
00:20:41There's no phone.
00:20:42There's nothing.
00:20:43It's very dark, damp down there.
00:20:45Oh, that makes me feel terrible.
00:20:47Yeah, it makes you feel sick to the stomach.
00:20:49Yeah.
00:20:50It should.
00:20:51That makes me feel good.
00:20:58Do you feel like you're constantly chasing dust, dirt
00:21:00and pet hair around your home?
00:21:06Feeling frazzled from the hustle and bustle of daily life?
00:21:09Do you have pain or tension that you just can't shake?
00:21:11Does muscle pain force you to stop mid-exercise?
00:21:15Wouldn't it be nice to have a little more spending money?
00:21:18Got hay fever?
00:21:19Have you been spending more time than you'd like
00:21:21in the bathroom lately?
00:21:23How do we get our skin ready for spring?
00:21:25Are there any steps we can take
00:21:26to better support our active lifestyles?
00:21:28Have you ever noticed patches of differently coloured skin
00:21:30on your face and neck?
00:21:32Is what's going in one end not coming out the other end
00:21:35quite as well or as often as you'd like?
00:21:42Anyway, back to it with March.
00:21:44And it was the question on everyone's lips.
00:21:46Who was going to be the next dated celebrity to take the red pill?
00:21:52Holly Valance, Nobody's favourite Neighbours actor,
00:21:55discovered how easy it was to get a platform again
00:21:57by going anti-vax and anti-trans.
00:22:00It's honest work.
00:22:02Valance, seen here in a CSI Miami episode
00:22:04giving a pretty good performance,
00:22:06said some right-wing bullshit in an interview this year
00:22:08that's not worth repeating, but what is worth pointing out
00:22:11is that her entire life perspective
00:22:13now comes from being the wife of a UK billionaire
00:22:15and organising fundraisers for Donald Trump.
00:22:19God, can't we just go back to her being an actor?
00:22:21Evil's a word that gets tossed around a lot.
00:22:23Like great or awesome.
00:22:27Mmm.
00:22:28If we can go back to before she was an actor,
00:22:29that's probably even better.
00:22:32TV heavyweight Michael Jenkins died,
00:22:34creator of Heartbreak High,
00:22:36director of Wildside, Scales of Justice, Blue Murder,
00:22:38and my unironic favourite, Shark's Paradise.
00:22:41No-one else could do drama quite like him.
00:22:44Also, prolific stuntman Grant Page died,
00:22:46and no-one could be set on fire quite like him,
00:22:48or water-ski in a wheelchair quite like him,
00:22:51or be submerged in a spa with a mouthful of cash
00:22:53in an episode of Murder Call quite like him.
00:22:56Australian actors wish they were that versatile.
00:22:59Over on the ABC, a lot was happening.
00:23:02Drama series House of Gods was released,
00:23:04described as succession in a mosque.
00:23:08Hmm. I wonder what that is.
00:23:10But also in March was the release of a report showing a 41% decline
00:23:14in non-news first-released Australian content on the ABC since 2014,
00:23:19meaning, over the last decade, drama dropped by 59 hours,
00:23:22and for those non-math types watching,
00:23:24potentially equates to around eight to ten full drama series.
00:23:28It's not great,
00:23:29but the decline has happened so gradually over multiple decades
00:23:32that I think it's easy to forget just how much good stuff
00:23:35the ABC has created.
00:23:37And I know dwindling budgets and resources is absolutely a thing,
00:23:41but regardless of how, it's genuinely sad that newer generations
00:23:44might not know that the ABC made stuff,
00:23:46aside from spics and specs.
00:23:49Comedy output this year was also a bit sparse,
00:23:52though unsurprising,
00:23:53what with the minor setback of having abolished the comedy department.
00:23:57That'd do it.
00:23:58There was a time when the ABC was rich with stand-up,
00:24:01sitcoms, sketch and satire,
00:24:03and specific shows like The Degeneration, The Glasshouse,
00:24:06The Election Chaser, among others,
00:24:08were all fronted by new faces in their 20s.
00:24:11I mention age because this year's Fresh Blood comedy initiative
00:24:14seemed to partially consist of millennials pushing 40,
00:24:18with most already having prior TV experience anyway,
00:24:20or having done Fresh Blood in previous years.
00:24:23Therefore, I'm not sure what the ABC means then
00:24:25when they say they're uncovering up-and-coming talent
00:24:28and kind of leaves you to wonder exactly what the barrier to entry is
00:24:31to get onto the ABC today.
00:24:33To be clear, none of this is the fault of any of the Fresh Blood teams.
00:24:37In fact, bravo to them for getting work in a landscape
00:24:39that's as empty as the premise of Bay of Fires.
00:24:42Series two out next year.
00:24:44The point is, it's quite grim that all of these groups
00:24:47haven't already made full series on the ABC,
00:24:49and are still having to slum it out
00:24:51doing these mini-initiatives in the first place.
00:24:53The ABC should just call the next one blood.
00:24:57Still, of the 2024 entries, shout-out to Bad Ancestors
00:25:00for its great concept, nailing its tone
00:25:02and having the most episodic potential out of all of them.
00:25:05And if you want to watch Fresh Blood,
00:25:07slight challenge since it wasn't broadcast or even put on iview.
00:25:10It was just dumped onto YouTube and that was that.
00:25:14Hmm.
00:25:14Depriving the teams of a broadcast TV credit
00:25:16makes the whole initiative feel a bit redundant,
00:25:18and I wonder what's to gain from pushing them
00:25:20onto a third-party platform where anyone can upload anything.
00:25:24Like this.
00:25:37Classic.
00:25:38So, that's drama and comedy.
00:25:40What was left?
00:25:41It can't have all just been rebroadcasting
00:25:42the same 54 episodes of Vera, though what felt like it.
00:25:46The ABC's bread and butter has arguably become
00:25:48personality-driven light entertainment.
00:25:51We had Miriam Margulies in Possibly Australian,
00:25:53which partially felt like an easy way for the show's target audience,
00:25:57pictured here, to validate their own disdain for younger generations,
00:26:00pictured here.
00:26:02Do you like my outfit?
00:26:03Not much.
00:26:04You have been described to me as an influencer.
00:26:09Mm-hmm.
00:26:10What the fuck is that?
00:26:13Yeah, us young people suck with our yo's yo and our fanny's pack.
00:26:17Along with Miriam Margulies in Possibly Australian,
00:26:20was Virginia Trioli's Creative Types,
00:26:22Tony Armstrong's Extraordinary Things,
00:26:24Maggie Beer's Big Mission,
00:26:25and, of course, my show,
00:26:27Mitch McTaggart's name is in the title
00:26:28so as not to confuse the primary audience of over 65s.
00:26:31Don't really know what the content is yet,
00:26:33but it airs tomorrow and I reckon it'll be fine.
00:26:42When Peter van Onselen quit Channel 10 last year
00:26:44to move into academia, it hit the network pretty hard.
00:26:47In fact, I think we have some boardroom footage.
00:26:56But this year, van Onselen took us all by surprise
00:26:58by becoming political editor for the Daily Mail,
00:27:01generating chortles across the media industry.
00:27:04But whatever style of laugh you may have personally elicited,
00:27:08incredulous guffaw,
00:27:09it was certainly going to be a challenge for Peter
00:27:11to match the Mail's previous political reporting such as...
00:27:19..and my favourite, perhaps because it's more concise,
00:27:22never mind Brexit, who one legs it?
00:27:25Which, in fairness, does rhyme,
00:27:27provided your mouth is full of crosskits.
00:27:30It was grim news but, by and large,
00:27:32surprisingly decent coverage of the Bondi Junction's stabbings.
00:27:35Although Channel 7 jumped the gun
00:27:37and incorrectly named a Sydney student as the perpetrator
00:27:39after right-wing trolls had begun publishing the name online.
00:27:43Police then named the real perpetrator several hours later.
00:27:46Channel 7 said whoopsie-daisy
00:27:48and paid the innocent man a confidential settlement.
00:27:50Because, hey, if 7 can't be good at identifying people,
00:27:54at least they can be good at giving them cash.
00:27:56And that's largely thanks to the years of practice
00:27:58they've already had for identifying all of these people
00:28:01incorrectly from previous news stories,
00:28:04each one to varying levels of whoopsie-daisy.
00:28:07Incidentally, Varying Levels of Whoopsie-daisy
00:28:09is the name of 7's new self-help book
00:28:11where they've also credited the wrong person as the author,
00:28:14which does track.
00:28:16Meanwhile, a quick shout-out to the subtle chaos
00:28:18of Nine News accidentally broadcasting a camera focus check.
00:28:22Wait for it.
00:28:23Wait for it.
00:28:24Yeah.
00:28:25Wait for...
00:28:26Yeah.
00:28:27Nine obviously aiming for a more slightly jarring kind of vibe,
00:28:30as opposed to Seven's vibe of more completely fucked
00:28:32news-gathering processes.
00:28:34And I respect that.
00:28:37Only once in a blue moon
00:28:38does the perfect news and discussion story come along,
00:28:41one that's easy for free-to-air audiences to relate to,
00:28:44because it doesn't involve anything fancy like queer people.
00:28:47Late on April 20, a tweet appeared
00:28:49explaining that the user's relative had been kicked out
00:28:51of an Arj Barker comedy show along with her baby.
00:28:55And it got a little bit of engagement.
00:28:57I'm a reporter at The Australian.
00:28:58I'd love to have a chat.
00:28:59I'd love to have a chat.
00:29:00I'm a reporter at ABC.
00:29:02I'd love to have a chat to you about this.
00:29:04I went to Channel 9.
00:29:05I'd love to have a chat.
00:29:07And away we went.
00:29:08A young mother says she's been left humiliated
00:29:11after being asked to leave a Melbourne comedy festival show
00:29:15while breastfeeding her seven-month-old baby.
00:29:1810 News got the TV ball rolling,
00:29:19interviewing the ejected mum Trish and the baby.
00:29:22That same night, 9 News got their own interview
00:29:24with Trish and the baby,
00:29:25plus a pointless live cross to the Athenaeum
00:29:27where Arj Barker's performance had occurred
00:29:29some 42 hours earlier.
00:29:31Then it was over to A Current Affair
00:29:32for a six-and-a-half-minute interview,
00:29:33pre-recorded, though, because at the same time
00:29:35she was on the project for a live eight-minute interview.
00:29:38Then the following morning on Sunrise
00:29:40it was another pointless live cross to the Athenaeum
00:29:42some 58 hours after the performance,
00:29:44followed by today's equally pointless live cross
00:29:46to the Athenaeum some 59 hours after the performance.
00:29:49Then Arj jumped on the defence with a six-minute interview.
00:29:52Half an hour later he was on Sunrise for a four-minute interview.
00:29:55At the same time that was happening,
00:29:56today got Trish for a six-minute interview,
00:29:58then 15 minutes after that,
00:29:59Sunrise had Trish for a five-minute interview,
00:30:01then The Morning Show went on about it all for a bit,
00:30:04then it was onto a spot of radio
00:30:05where Erin and Husey pitted them both together
00:30:07in a combined phone interview on Today FM.
00:30:10So it was real blink-and-you'll-miss-at stuff,
00:30:12like one of those corpse flowers
00:30:14or Yasmin's getting married.
00:30:16A week later, on April 30,
00:30:18Sunrise brought it up again,
00:30:19apparently also testing their long-term memory skills.
00:30:22Remember this?
00:30:23A mum was asked to leave Arj Barker's comedy show because of her baby.
00:30:27Yeah, that's right.
00:30:28What do you mean, remember this?
00:30:30We're not flashing back to the 90s.
00:30:32It was last week.
00:30:33Mind you, if I had to present Sunrise,
00:30:35I'd probably purge it from my brain as well.
00:30:37Anyway, for some reason they got Erin and Husey
00:30:40to do a special stand-up show for mothers and babies,
00:30:42to make some kind of point,
00:30:44though mostly proving that no-one really knew what the story was anymore.
00:30:48This rabid media blitz had a lot to do with TV's desperate need
00:30:52to fill the airtime with anything they can.
00:30:55Sexist rage bait like this ticks all the boxes
00:30:58that free-to-air TV needs to generate news and discussion.
00:31:01The age-old male versus female battle is easy to understand
00:31:04and everyone will have an opinion on it,
00:31:06as evidenced by the various Vox Pops,
00:31:09the coverage from all these news sites
00:31:11and the subsequent social media engagement
00:31:13that then becomes part of the news as well.
00:31:15Viewer has erupted online after American comedian Arj Barker
00:31:19asked a mother breastfeeding a baby to leave his Melbourne show.
00:31:23The more sexist the rage bait sounds, the more engagement,
00:31:26which could explain why a number of news stories
00:31:29led with the mention of breastfeeding.
00:31:31Breastfeeding mum.
00:31:31Breastfeeding mother.
00:31:32Breastfeeding mother.
00:31:33Implying that that was the sole reason she was asked to leave,
00:31:36despite Arj Barker arguing that was incorrect.
00:31:39I merely asked her to leave because the baby was making noise.
00:31:42I couldn't see her well enough to know if she was breastfeeding or not.
00:31:44Obviously, the idea of a famous man kicking out an everyday mum
00:31:48just for breastfeeding is far more sexist and rage-inducing
00:31:52than just getting kicked out for noise.
00:31:54So it's a safe bet which angle the news is going to go for,
00:31:57regardless of what might have actually occurred.
00:32:00As for the question of whether or not a baby could be distracting enough
00:32:03to be booted out of an adult evening comedy show,
00:32:06the appearance on A Current Affair suggested that a baby
00:32:08could indeed be distracting enough.
00:32:10And they came up to me and they walked out as well
00:32:12because there's a few people that walked out.
00:32:14Jeez.
00:32:15And the appearance on the project also suggested
00:32:17that a baby could be distracting enough.
00:32:20OK, maybe she can go to Dad just for a quick second.
00:32:22Careful.
00:32:24OK, sorry guys.
00:32:25So the thing that sparked the controversy in the first place
00:32:28happened again on TV.
00:32:30Twice.
00:32:31And don't think we didn't notice this cute little observation on the project.
00:32:35But I think at its core it is just a misunderstanding.
00:32:37It's hard to believe the media would blow up a story like that.
00:32:39Hard to believe the media would blow up a story like that,
00:32:42he says after interviewing the mum for eight minutes.
00:32:45But he's right.
00:32:46If you only watched the TV you'd think this was all a hugely divisive debate,
00:32:51when really it wasn't.
00:32:53At least according to this poll of 15,000 people,
00:32:5596% of whom agreed that a comedy show was no place for a baby.
00:33:00And this stuffed New Zealand poll with 95% agreeing the same.
00:33:03So it all felt pretty pointless.
00:33:06A non-news story dressed up as a balanced discussion
00:33:09serving only to feed the big old beast that is broadcast content.
00:33:13Let's not forget that across channels 7, 9 and 10,
00:33:15news and discussion programs fill up a total average of 21 hours per day
00:33:20or 148 hours of TV per week.
00:33:23I don't envy that output.
00:33:24If anything, I admire their stamina.
00:33:27Free-to-air TV lives for any form of sexist rage bait.
00:33:31It's easy to manufacture, fills the airtime and guarantees engagement.
00:33:35And they can even just keep rehashing the same thing
00:33:37and no-one notices.
00:33:39In November 2021, it was sexist rage bait ahoy
00:33:42when Today manufactured outrage
00:33:43after someone apparently said the film Grease was sexist.
00:33:46After a small group of students found the Grease production
00:33:49to be offensive, sexist and anti-feminist.
00:33:52It didn't even matter that in January 2021 they'd already generated outrage
00:33:57after someone else declared Grease to be sexist.
00:33:59But is it also sexist, racist and homophobic?
00:34:02Which also didn't matter that there was previous outrage in October 2020
00:34:06after someone declared Grease to be sexist.
00:34:08Olivia Newton-John is being forced to defend the film
00:34:11after accusations the end scene is sexist.
00:34:14Of course it is.
00:34:15Guess they forgot about that other outrage in June 2018
00:34:17after someone declared Grease to be sexist.
00:34:20But fans are criticising Grease? Come on.
00:34:23Rinse and repeat until the eventual heat death of the sun.
00:34:26Or until all this stops being news.
00:34:28Whichever comes first.
00:34:35Billionaire mining magnate Gina Reinhardt tried to quietly remove
00:34:38an unflattering painting from the National Gallery
00:34:40which made 30 million people turn and look at it,
00:34:43which made the world turn and look at it,
00:34:44which made the internet turn and look at it,
00:34:46and immortalise it.
00:34:48This, this painting here, the one that's currently on screen.
00:34:50The point is, she didn't want it at the gallery
00:34:53where people could see it.
00:34:54So, mission accomplished.
00:34:57After 2022's Vanishing Act was so critically tolerated,
00:35:00Melissa Caddick's foot was back on prime time.
00:35:03Nine broadcasts The Missing Millionaire S,
00:35:05a UK-produced documentary that rehashed everything
00:35:07Vanishing Act had already gone through two years prior,
00:35:10right down to opening on the shot of her foot.
00:35:13Nine even retitled it The Real Vanishing Act,
00:35:15because if a disgusting severed foot needs anything,
00:35:18it's brand awareness.
00:35:20Jump scare.
00:35:25Bruce Lerman Massage.
00:35:27Not only is it a pretty terrible audience suggestion
00:35:30at an improv night,
00:35:31but it was also the apex of a scandal
00:35:33that engulfed Channel 7.
00:35:35Firstly, it's interesting that during all of this,
00:35:37some reporters afforded Bruce the dignity
00:35:39of pronouncing his name with the full German accent.
00:35:42Bruce Lerman.
00:35:42Bruce Lerman.
00:35:43Bruce Lerman.
00:35:44So, it's not Lerman like Herman's Hermits,
00:35:48it's Lerman like Herman's Hermits.
00:35:53Still, the Batuta Advocate circumvented that entirely
00:35:56by simply going with Big Chungus.
00:35:58Anyway, before Lerman's defamation trial
00:36:00against Network 10 and Lisa Wilkinson,
00:36:02he got on the PR bandwagon.
00:36:04In June and August of 2023,
00:36:06Lerman did two interviews on Seven's Spotlight,
00:36:09your drunk uncle's favourite show.
00:36:11I shut my mouth believing in the justice system
00:36:14and following the rules.
00:36:15Others in this saga haven't done that.
00:36:17There's only one truth.
00:36:22Jesus Christ.
00:36:25In 2023, Spotlight had submitted that interview
00:36:27to the Walkleys for Scoop of the Year,
00:36:29which the Walkleys then revoked when it was later revealed
00:36:32during the defamation case that Seven had agreed
00:36:34to pay his rent for 12 months, costing around $100,000
00:36:37in return for two exclusive interviews.
00:36:43Also, the program somehow got its cat piss hands
00:36:46on private documents, emails and texts.
00:36:49So, where did they come from?
00:36:51In April 2024, that was answered via Taylor Auerbach
00:36:54going scorched earth against Spotlight.
00:36:56The former producer has shared screenshots
00:36:59of a private conversation with Lerman,
00:37:01who the ex-producer claims illegally gave the Spotlight program
00:37:05confidential material from his aborted rape trial.
00:37:09In a revelation that shocked no-one,
00:37:11Lerman's own defamation case inadvertently revealed
00:37:14the material had come from Lerman himself.
00:37:17Auerbach provided proof.
00:37:18One image showed EP Mark Llewellyn's reflection
00:37:21due to photographing the screen with his phone.
00:37:23The boomer way.
00:37:24An internet tab showed the university Lerman was attending
00:37:26because cropping an image was too complex for Channel 7.
00:37:30And the photo metadata corresponded to a house
00:37:32that was being licensed by Seven for Lerman to stay in.
00:37:35They're not very good at this.
00:37:37Auerbach also claimed that he'd seen Lerman's
00:37:39straight-up photocopying documents at Channel 7.
00:37:42Shout-out to A Current Affair, though,
00:37:44for giving us this dynamite visualisation
00:37:46as to what that might have entailed,
00:37:48although that's a completely blank piece of paper.
00:37:50So, even in other people's reenactments,
00:37:52they're not very good at this.
00:37:54Anyway, how appropriate it was
00:37:56that everything was soon to climax.
00:37:59Taylor Auerbach alleged he was Mr Lerman's babysitter,
00:38:02ordered to get an interview with him at all costs by his Seven bosses.
00:38:07At all costs, allegedly included drugs and prostitutes.
00:38:11Tie massage services to the tune of more than $10,000.
00:38:16Mmm, affordable.
00:38:17Though Seven obviously denied those cheeky treats,
00:38:20this was on top of the $100,000 worth of accommodation Seven had already paid,
00:38:24despite EP Mark Llewellyn saying that no-one was paid,
00:38:27but had merely assisted with accommodation.
00:38:30Sure, just assisted meant paying for a luxury home
00:38:33as well as disgusting perks for a big chungus.
00:38:37It also highlighted just how laughable
00:38:39their attempted submission to the Walkleys was in the first place.
00:38:43Spotlight should resubmit it so it can be revoked again properly.
00:38:46But none of that really mattered because the court case was about
00:38:50whether or not Lerman had been defamed by Ten and Lisa Wilkinson.
00:38:54Turns out...
00:38:55Mr Lerman raped Miss Higgins.
00:38:58I hasten to stress this is a finding on the balance of probabilities.
00:39:01Bruce Lerman raped Brittany Higgins.
00:39:04Justice Lee, scathing of Bruce Lerman's credibility.
00:39:07Network Ten was successful in their truth defence
00:39:09and that Lerman himself...
00:39:11Told deliberate lies.
00:39:12His account an elaborate fancy
00:39:14and was hit with costs totalling $2 million.
00:39:17Weirdly, there was no ruling on his singing abilities.
00:39:20I've lost the law and...
00:39:22Bruce one!
00:39:23Bruce one!
00:39:25Bruce one!
00:39:26So hopefully an album is dropping soon.
00:39:29The judge was also scathing of Network Ten
00:39:31and talked about Lisa Wilkinson's 2022 Logie speech,
00:39:35which had caused the original criminal trial to be delayed.
00:39:37While he criticised Wilkinson's judgement in giving the speech,
00:39:40it was also mentioned how the speech was made with the encouragement of Ten,
00:39:44how the Ten CEO called it a beautiful speech,
00:39:46how Wilkinson had taken legal advice
00:39:48from the senior litigation counsel for Ten,
00:39:50how she only came to give the speech as a result of being badly let down by Ten,
00:39:54and that the conduct of Network Ten in procuring Miss Wilkinson
00:39:57to give the speech was grossly improper and unjustifiable.
00:40:01But it was beautiful though.
00:40:03Important to note that the judge spoke about the Logie speech
00:40:06in his ruling for nearly 50 paragraphs.
00:40:08With that in mind, here's what the project said about it.
00:40:11While the judge accepted she was let down by Ten's legal advice,
00:40:15Lisa Wilkinson was also criticised over that Logie speech.
00:40:19If she had thought matters through as an experienced journalist,
00:40:21she ought to have known the speech was fraught with danger.
00:40:25Mmm, by cherry-picking that clip,
00:40:27it subtly pushes a lot more of the blame onto Wilkinson,
00:40:30who, out of all the players, is the only former employee of Ten.
00:40:34In other words, the main thing Wilkinson could have checked
00:40:36was the tyre pressure while Ten threw her under that bus.
00:40:40The collateral damage of it all was significant.
00:40:43Spotlight AP Mark Llewellyn left the network,
00:40:45followed by the head of News and Current Affairs Craig McPherson,
00:40:48also coinciding with the departure of CEO James Warburton.
00:40:51But more importantly, the Facebook group called
00:40:54I Support Bruce Lerman had to rebrand to the more vague
00:40:57I Love Australia, though retaining the all caps.
00:41:00I assume the guy who got this tattoo
00:41:02was going to be Googling laser removal,
00:41:04or at least shirt.
00:41:07And the Presumption of Innocence Conference,
00:41:09whatever the fuck that is,
00:41:10lost their key speaker in Brucie.
00:41:12But hey, fingers crossed there's an event soon
00:41:14for incel piss boys where he can still say a few words,
00:41:17or even just a karaoke night.
00:41:23I could do a duet.
00:41:26It's all about to detonate.
00:41:31It all comes out exclusively on 7 News Spotlight.
00:41:35A couple of final thoughts on the 2023 Spotlight programs,
00:41:38now viewable through the lens of everything that's happened since.
00:41:42Fronted by Liam Bartlett's ego,
00:41:44it largely paints Lerman as a man wronged,
00:41:47while the women of the piece are seemingly pitted against each other.
00:41:50The private recordings that Spotlight got their pissy hands on
00:41:53sound more damning than what they are,
00:41:55especially when they're played out of context
00:41:57and especially when they have swear words.
00:41:59Here's Samantha Maiden.
00:42:01You can call him whatever you like.
00:42:03You can call him an arsehole if you like.
00:42:05Here's Lisa Wilkinson, apparently trashing Linda Reynolds
00:42:08while Reynolds was filmed listening to it.
00:42:09I'm trying to work out who this f***ing woman is.
00:42:12Like I've never heard of her.
00:42:14And there's even this little snippet from Higgins.
00:42:17Is there anything pissing you off that you need to talk to me about?
00:42:20Um, uh, Grace Tame would just be off.
00:42:24Yeah, okay.
00:42:25That's the only time Grace Tame is mentioned
00:42:26having no other function other than a catty name drop.
00:42:30All of these small components add up to imply infighting,
00:42:34vague conspiracy,
00:42:34or perhaps the overall unreliability of women.
00:42:38But Spotlight never needs to clearly say that
00:42:41because the audience can just connect the dots.
00:42:43For example, women aren't explicitly evil,
00:42:46but the way they eat dumplings is...
00:42:48Uh, we need to eat dumplings.
00:42:50Yeah.
00:42:54Ooh, hungry and scared.
00:42:56But perhaps most offensively, Bartlett had the gall
00:42:58to comment on the current state of the media.
00:43:00But it would also raise questions
00:43:03about the conduct of some reporters.
00:43:07Mm, coming from the reporters
00:43:08that allegedly offered cocaine and sex workers
00:43:10to get an interview with a now-rapist.
00:43:13Conduct indeed.
00:43:14Sure, it's pretty easy for us to look back on all this
00:43:17and comment about it from the right side of history.
00:43:19But it makes it easier when that history largely consists
00:43:22of seven repeatedly platforming controversial men,
00:43:25such as Craig McLaughlin, acquitted of sexual assault,
00:43:28police officer Zachary Rolf, who fatally shot Kumunjaya Walker,
00:43:31while Channel 7 more broadly has been a safe space
00:43:33for war criminals, domestic abusers and neo-Nazis.
00:43:37And yet, the whole Lerman affair
00:43:39is the newest low point for Channel 7 and Spotlight.
00:43:42So far, a place where not only ethics have gone out the window,
00:43:46but proofreading skills too.
00:43:48A program that's parliament-adjacent
00:43:50managed to misspell parliament.
00:43:53They should have revoked the Walkley just for that.
00:44:01John Blackman died, having carved out a huge career
00:44:04in TV and radio, most notably a 28-year stint
00:44:07on Hey Hey's Saturday.
00:44:09Daryl Summers said a few words at the funeral,
00:44:11including that Blackman is probably now working on a show
00:44:13called Hey Hey, It's Heaven.
00:44:15Its sweetness was slightly undercut
00:44:17by Daryl then trademarking that name a few days later.
00:44:20Yeah, damn, he beat us all to it.
00:44:23Anyway, the Daily Mail declared Blackman's death
00:44:25to be proof of the dreaded curse of Hey Hey, It's Saturday,
00:44:28which apparently also includes Daryl initiating legal action
00:44:31against Channel 7 and Kamal being charged
00:44:33with stalking and intimidation.
00:44:35Three completely separate events connected only
00:44:38by the TV show they all once appeared on.
00:44:40Spooky.
00:44:41So on similar logic would be the curse of Behave Yourself
00:44:44because that cast went on to not do anything related to each other.
00:44:47Don't forget the curse of Corridors of Power,
00:44:49whose cast also didn't go on to do anything related to each other,
00:44:52and the curse of The Shack, whose cast didn't go on to do anything.
00:44:58Like fidget spinners or Coney 2012, the big trend this year would have to be executives resigning due to scandal.
00:45:05In March, Nine News and Current Affairs boss Darren Wick departed,
00:45:08and then by May, his lecherous behaviour toward women was being reported as an open secret,
00:45:13including, but not limited to, alcohol-fuelled grope sessions.
00:45:16I think he may have even produced a news bulletin here and there.
00:45:20Then by June, the CEO of Nine, Peter Costello,
00:45:23was approached at an airport about Darren Wick's departure,
00:45:26in turn triggering his own departure.
00:45:32You've just assaulted me.
00:45:33Costello denied shoving the reporter,
00:45:35though a witness did go on record to say Costello gave you a real shunting.
00:45:39Shunting or not, you'd think the boss of a network that also produces a current affair
00:45:43would be better at dealing with confrontational journalism,
00:45:46especially when Costello's own son has been on the opposite end of it.
00:45:50And where his other employees have been variously shoved, lunged at,
00:45:54or copped hose jets to the nuts.
00:45:59So, whether you're a neighbour from hell
00:46:01or the boss of a network that produces stories about a neighbour from hell,
00:46:04the reaction to a camera in the face is surprisingly universal.
00:46:09Costello stepped down a few days after the airport incident,
00:46:11saying he had flagged retiring from the board sometime after the July Olympics.
00:46:16I see.
00:46:17So he always planned to step down around now
00:46:19and it's completely unconnected to the apparent shoving.
00:46:22One more unrelated event and it's a Daily Mail curse.
00:46:25While we've already mentioned James Warburton,
00:46:27Mark Llewellyn and Craig McPherson,
00:46:29Darren Wick's departure is not to be confused with Adrian Fu,
00:46:32ex-Dan executive who resigned last year amid sexual harassment claims,
00:46:36also not to be confused with the then-Seven boss,
00:46:38Tim Warner and his sex scandal,
00:46:39also not to be confused with former Nine boss, Hugh Marks,
00:46:42resigning after an office relationship became public.
00:46:45Look, there's a lot of characters to keep track of here,
00:46:48by which I mean you can now play
00:46:49Guess Who TV Executive Edition and quiz yourself at home.
00:46:53Ask your opponent fun questions like,
00:46:55do they have a secret abusive Twitter account
00:46:57or have they ever been involved in a sex scandal,
00:46:59but then get frustrated because that doesn't really narrow it down.
00:47:03It literally was the last year of television for Mildura Digital,
00:47:06which ceased broadcasting on June 30 due to running at a loss for years.
00:47:10More station closures are likely to become a sad reality,
00:47:13as free-to-air makes less money, the audience ages,
00:47:16and everything shifts further online.
00:47:18Purely for trivia's sake,
00:47:19here's the final ever 10 seconds of Mildura Digital Television
00:47:22as it ticked over to midnight.
00:47:24Spoiler, it was pretty unceremonious,
00:47:26more so because it was a repeat of the project
00:47:28and they were talking about farts.
00:47:30You might not need to go out for an hour-long walk
00:47:33just to get rid of all the gas every night.
00:47:34And also, how is that romance?
00:47:37You know what I mean?
00:47:37You and your husband out there every night.
00:47:41Yeah.
00:47:4618 years of broadcasting literally goes out on a fart.
00:47:50That's that, I guess.
00:47:57Ladies in Black premiered,
00:47:58and it was just nice to have an ABC series that was original,
00:48:01obviously ignoring the film of it, the play of it,
00:48:03and the book of it.
00:48:05Well, in 2024, the impossible happened.
00:48:08No, I'm not talking about a public unmasking of
00:48:10as a complete psychopath.
00:48:13I, of course, mean Fam Time was finally released.
00:48:16Well, buried on Seven Plus.
00:48:18But I think after five years of it sitting on the shelf,
00:48:20we've earned a little celebration.
00:48:25Back to it.
00:48:26According to the legend,
00:48:27former Seven boss James Warburton
00:48:29was not a fan of the comedy
00:48:30and hid it away like an Indiana Jones relic
00:48:32or any other show made by Channel Seven.
00:48:35But was it so bad that it deserved to never see the light of day?
00:48:39Of course not.
00:48:40Who does Seven think they are?
00:48:41The same network that broadcast carrots in 1979?
00:48:44Because they are that network.
00:48:46Fam Time was filmed in 2019,
00:48:48and by that point,
00:48:49the idea of blogging and being terminally online
00:48:51had peaked five years previously.
00:48:53So the main hurdle is watching a culturally topical show
00:48:56that fills about ten years too late.
00:48:58Anyway, these two make for the best double act,
00:49:01and there's some genuinely solid jokes scattered throughout.
00:49:04The whole show gets a huge amount of bonus points
00:49:06because someone actually bothered
00:49:08to do a real commercial sitcom in 2024.
00:49:11Well, in 2019.
00:49:13Well, in 2014,
00:49:14if we're talking about when it should have been made.
00:49:16Ignoring the tepid critical reception, though,
00:49:19I think a second series is probably unlikely,
00:49:21mostly due to the average age of the child actors
00:49:23now being about 48.
00:49:26Newly-minted Nine CEO Mike Sneesby
00:49:28was beaming with pride carrying the Olympic torch,
00:49:30unfortunately coinciding with major strike action
00:49:33across the nine newspapers due to a pay dispute,
00:49:35plus the announcement of job cuts
00:49:37across the broadcast division.
00:49:38Sneesby was already the subject of murmurs
00:49:40surrounding how early he may have known
00:49:42about the Darren Wick scandal,
00:49:44so coupled with the pay dispute and job cuts
00:49:46rubbed some employees the wrong way.
00:49:48Fuck Mike Sneesby summed it up most concisely.
00:49:52Even Channel 7 was gleefully sticking the boot in,
00:49:55tracking him down in Paris for a public shaming,
00:49:57but I reckon 7 was just relieved
00:49:58that another network was in the shit for a change.
00:50:01Pretty straightforward, though.
00:50:02Should you have carried the torch yesterday?
00:50:06Let's not do a Peter Costello again.
00:50:07Surely someone from Channel 9 can stop and talk to us.
00:50:09Yeah, great burn.
00:50:10Bet you rehearsed that in the bathroom mirror.
00:50:13Addressing the timing of the staff issues at nine,
00:50:15a spokesperson said the disappointing strike
00:50:17wasn't going to harm the Olympics coverage,
00:50:18and technically they were right.
00:50:21This news story about first line of text, second line of text
00:50:24was a bit low on detail, sure,
00:50:27but was completely accurate in a positional sense.
00:50:29Plus, the bulletin really improved
00:50:31once they crossed live to placeholder with lorem ipsum.
00:50:34Meanwhile, random words in Latin
00:50:36would have been just as accurate
00:50:37in 7 News' horoscope segment,
00:50:39unleashed upon the audience like a drunk elephant at a circus.
00:50:42A great choice of stock music as well,
00:50:44which I assume is titled,
00:50:46Unbuttoning Shirt at Start of Porno.
00:50:57Yes, 7 News' integrity may be sliding down a hill in a bathtub,
00:51:00but at least for a few seconds each night
00:51:02they can make all of our angry parents horny.
00:51:06Why am I doing that? I'm talking about parents.
00:51:12News Corp was after a sea change
00:51:14deciding to put Foxtel on the market.
00:51:17I just hope for our sake
00:51:18it falls into the hands of a billionaire with thick skin.
00:51:22Uh-oh.
00:51:24Another shout-out to Four Corners
00:51:25with an excellent hard-hitting expose
00:51:27into the shocking culture at Channel 7.
00:51:29Can only hope the ABC appreciates
00:51:31the uncompromising professionalism of Four Corners,
00:51:34or according to an ABC promo,
00:51:36Four's Corners.
00:51:37Because it's not just yours ABC's, it's ours's.
00:51:41The Channel 7 embarrassments continued
00:51:43when Nine won a Logie for their expose
00:51:45on former 7 executive Ben Robert Smith,
00:51:48with it all being broadcast on 7.
00:51:50Ah.
00:51:51We definitely weren't expecting this,
00:51:53given Ben Robert Smith's employment history,
00:51:55but we're very much honoured.
00:51:57Although, if you're feeling like Ben Robert Smith himself
00:52:00was a little short-changed with those awards,
00:52:02don't worry,
00:52:03because he still accepted a King's Coronation Medal
00:52:05in June this year.
00:52:06And that's great.
00:52:07Where one award is because of war crimes,
00:52:09the other award is in spite of them.
00:52:12In any case, Ben Robert Smith, pictured left,
00:52:15was old news,
00:52:16because 7 found themselves a new problematic Ben
00:52:18they could redeem on their network.
00:52:20Ben Cousins had a go at dancing with the stars,
00:52:23after previously having a go at aggravated stalking,
00:52:25breaching a violence restraining order and meth.
00:52:28Hey, he'll try anything once.
00:52:30Or in the case of breaching that VRO, seven times.
00:52:33For WA viewers,
00:52:35Cousins has been a staple on 7 News Perth,
00:52:37presenting the sports segment since 2023,
00:52:39having taken to the sympathetic network bosom
00:52:42like so many others before him.
00:52:43His Dancing With The Stars appearance was fairly short-lived,
00:52:46placing seventh overall.
00:52:48I guess his cha-cha abilities were about as convincing
00:52:50as this green screen he's filmed on.
00:52:52Boom, got him.
00:52:54Human Error was, hands down,
00:52:56the best free-to-air commercial drama this year.
00:52:58Best written, best acted, all of it.
00:53:01Sorry, let me be clearer,
00:53:02it was also the only new free-to-air commercial drama this year.
00:53:06To only manage a grand total of six episodes of drama
00:53:09across seven, nine and ten is...
00:53:11I don't even have a word for that.
00:53:13If only there was a logo category for least drama.
00:53:16It'd probably go to the last days of the space age.
00:53:19For a suspenseful murder mystery like Human Error,
00:53:22it's a bit discouraging when a show is so afraid of silence
00:53:24that a raid has to have a pop song under it.
00:53:32And it does the usual Aussie cop show thing
00:53:34where we don't see much actual police work,
00:53:36it's just characters coming back into frame
00:53:38after having discovered something.
00:53:40From the electoral roll as requested,
00:53:42he said he hit financial trouble so sold it onto a car broker.
00:53:45We checked with immigration and they have a record
00:53:47of her flying from Melbourne to Bangkok,
00:53:49only large payment out of her bank account.
00:53:50The show's overall mystery...
00:53:53Thanks.
00:53:55The show's overall mystery comes together quite well at the end,
00:53:58where a lot of similar shows have collapsed under their own weight.
00:54:01Vianna Walsman is a refreshing casting choice,
00:54:03plus Deb Lawrence is in it for two scenes
00:54:05and absolutely towers over everyone,
00:54:06even though she's mostly sitting down.
00:54:09While this modern trend of short-run limited series
00:54:11with a single conspiratorial storyline
00:54:13is definitely in the way of the streamers,
00:54:15it's a bit sad that networks aren't making longer-form dramas anymore.
00:54:19Obviously, it requires investment, commitment and risk,
00:54:22which are three things that free-to-air execs are currently terrified of,
00:54:25along with sobriety and women coming forward.
00:54:29Or picture drama right now. Camille.
00:54:31Deb Lawrence reprises her wise-cracking role from Human Error
00:54:34as we follow her setting up her money-laundering empire
00:54:36and maybe finds herself solving crime in unethical ways.
00:54:40She largely works out of her house,
00:54:42so location-wise it's cost-effective.
00:54:44Granted, you would have to retcon her death in Human Error,
00:54:47but, hey, like most Australian drama, it's a rioting issue.
00:54:55Beleaguered 9 CEO Mike Sneesby resigned after months of pressure,
00:54:59completely out-dating this game.
00:55:02And Shannon Noll asked What About Free.
00:55:05What about free?
00:55:07It isn't fair.
00:55:09No, he hadn't forgotten the words to a song he also hadn't written.
00:55:13It was instead a big-budget Hail Mary
00:55:15to lure audiences back to sports on 7 Plus.
00:55:18I'm not sure about free-to-air streaming, though.
00:55:20With the subscription apps like Binge,
00:55:22you're paying for a solidly-built platform,
00:55:24a smoother experience and especially no glitch.
00:55:29A chaotic protest against the Land Forces Expo in Melbourne
00:55:32meant one thing to TV news.
00:55:34How close could the reporters get to the action?
00:55:37Paul Dowsley was rubbing shoulders with the cops
00:55:39and they loved having a chat with him.
00:55:41Red paint on his face, further down.
00:55:46Plus, he really seemed to enjoy pointing out capsicum spray.
00:55:49Where capsicum spray was before.
00:55:51More capsicum spray!
00:55:53Paul!
00:55:55Great job, Paul.
00:55:56Meanwhile, on A Current Affair,
00:55:58Sam Cucciara only managed to get himself near a bin on fire,
00:56:01which is also a great way of describing the coverage overall.
00:56:04The Vic Police Chief Commissioner mentioned
00:56:06how the protesters threw balloons containing...
00:56:08Low-level acid that caused irritants to the police.
00:56:12That low-level acid was upgraded to acid on A Current Affair.
00:56:16Acid turfed at police.
00:56:18As well as the project...
00:56:19To throw rocks and acid at police officers.
00:56:23Throwing acid or whatever,
00:56:24that sort of suggests that they came with that.
00:56:27And over on the ABC...
00:56:28Bottles filled with liquid, which they identified as acid.
00:56:31SBS seemed to be the only organisation
00:56:34that ran with the extra detail of the low-level acid,
00:56:37likely being butyric acid,
00:56:39which is a by-product of expired cheese.
00:56:41Let's list some other low-level acids.
00:56:43Fruit juice, tomato sauce, wine and cordial.
00:56:46But to say the protesters were throwing acid
00:56:49painted them as the sole instigators of violence.
00:56:51It also meant Ali could do this editorial.
00:56:53If you bring acid to a rally, you come with violence in mind.
00:56:58All of which helped to justify the police response,
00:57:01such as giving the protesters what can only be described
00:57:03as a cum-shot-of-hell fire.
00:57:06Not quite comparable to a balloon filled with cheese water.
00:57:09Still, the police gave assurances
00:57:11that no excessive force was used,
00:57:13comments which also went to air a little unchallenged,
00:57:16despite being featured between all this very normal-looking footage.
00:57:20It's the same old TV narrative of cops good, protest bad,
00:57:23because it's simple and digestible.
00:57:25A major focus is always a disruption, but to other people,
00:57:29like the hard-working everyday Australians
00:57:30who were inadvertently impacted and giving little airtime
00:57:33as to why a protest could actually be happening.
00:57:37ACA in particular turned into a PR arm for the Land Forces Expo
00:57:40with an exclusive interview with its boss.
00:57:42Oh, it's hugely important.
00:57:44We have 25 chiefs from around the world attending.
00:57:46We've got 31 countries here, 995 exhibitors,
00:57:50and so to bring them all together
00:57:52to showcase Australian industry and capability and innovation
00:57:56is vitally important.
00:57:57Yeah, all pretty piss-weak.
00:58:00Incidentally, piss is also a low-grade acid.
00:58:09October had the death of legendary TV journalist George Negus,
00:58:13or, according to 10, George Nebus.
00:58:16I...
00:58:17On a keyboard, though, the G is pretty close to the B.
00:58:20But it still happened twice,
00:58:22suggesting that someone at 10 probably thought his name was Nebus.
00:58:26And to that person I say,
00:58:28bright jog.
00:58:30Over to Territory on Netflix,
00:58:32a nice-looking but pretty soapy drama
00:58:34described as Succession in the Outback.
00:58:37Yeah, you know what kind of show didn't exist before Succession?
00:58:40Succession.
00:58:42The findings of a scathing report into Nine's broadcast division
00:58:46have revealed a workplace culture
00:58:48where women were shamed, bullied and sexually harassed.
00:58:52Channel Nine faced the music with a report into its workplace culture,
00:58:55finding employees were undermined, harassed, bullied, shamed and belittled.
00:58:59Pretty depressing that all of that could describe
00:59:02just working on Burke's Backyard.
00:59:03But the cultural reckoning wasn't just exclusive to Nine.
00:59:07The ABC had two reviews this year,
00:59:09finding 25% of staff surveyed experienced bullying at work
00:59:12and the staff are subjected to racism
00:59:14both within the ABC and from external organisations.
00:59:17Then, earlier in the year,
00:59:19Seven West Media had commissioned a review
00:59:21amid outrageous allegations of improper conduct,
00:59:23including the whole cocaine and sex workers thing.
00:59:26Thankfully, none of Seven's own problems
00:59:28stopped them from enthusiastically covering Channel Nine's problems.
00:59:32It's the day Channel Nine finally had to face its demons
00:59:36and it's horrific.
00:59:38Independent investigators finding abuse
00:59:40and sickening harassment everywhere in the company.
00:59:44Sure, but then, my favourite detail...
00:59:46And staff will no doubt be hoping
00:59:48the appearance of this truck
00:59:50at the network's Sydney headquarters today
00:59:52was just a coincidence.
00:59:55Yep.
00:59:56OK, let's follow that thread.
00:59:58Nine released a report for everyone to read,
01:00:01publish it everywhere, and then they print out a copy of it
01:00:04to shred it in that truck
01:00:05so it can never see the light of day.
01:00:07A bit like Seven's workplace report,
01:00:09which actually hasn't seen the light of day.
01:00:12See, slinging shit is incredibly easy.
01:00:15I can see why the networks do it in lieu of actual content.
01:00:18Point is, Australian TV cops occasional flack
01:00:21for not being able to compete on a world stage.
01:00:23But if any aspect of our industry
01:00:26can match those big international players,
01:00:28it's our toxicity,
01:00:30which truly rivals the biggest powerhouses of Hollywood.
01:00:33Even when the quality of our content is so basic by comparison,
01:00:36like your Burke's backyards,
01:00:38we're still soldiering on being horrendous unprofessional cunts
01:00:42whenever and however we can.
01:00:44It's that Aussie spirit.
01:00:46Anyway, staff at Nine are sceptical that things will change,
01:00:50so it'll be interesting to see if any of those reports
01:00:52will do anything long-term.
01:00:54By the way, no review coming out of Network 10,
01:00:56who are apparently doing fine.
01:00:58In fact, I think we have some footage.
01:01:06Yeah, it's pretty gloaty too, isn't it?
01:01:09The best streaming drama this year goes to Fake on Paramount+.
01:01:13It's also the most stress-inducing Australian content
01:01:16since Chompers went in for a little kiss.
01:01:18Yeah, exactly.
01:01:19I like that.
01:01:20Ooh!
01:01:22OK, good.
01:01:24Anyway, Fake is a solidly directed, beautifully filmed,
01:01:28slow burn character study,
01:01:30and I'm using those terms genuinely
01:01:31and not as the usual critic code for boring and shit.
01:01:35Episode 5, in particular, is a gripping watch
01:01:38set largely in an Uber
01:01:39as the tension builds to unbearable levels.
01:01:41It's rare that an Australian show has the confidence
01:01:44to take these kinds of creative risks.
01:01:46The whole thing is stacked with actors
01:01:48who absolutely should be in more things,
01:01:49and Heather Mitchell wins 2024, obviously.
01:01:52Fight me on it, I dare you.
01:01:54Music-wise too, Fake has one of the best scores in recent memory.
01:01:57Unique, engaging, and captures all the tiny emotions of the narrative.
01:02:02I will say, though, that the price of all of this quality
01:02:04is that each episode made my bumhole pucker exponentially.
01:02:08But it's just nice to feel something.
01:02:15Alan Jones got arrested,
01:02:17and it was nice to finally see him old and sad in the back of a car,
01:02:21instead of how he usually was, old and sad
01:02:23and backed by most of the Australian media.
01:02:26Channel 7 announced they were bringing back Channel 10 90's staple
01:02:30Healthy, Wealthy and Wise,
01:02:31though to modernise it for current living standards,
01:02:34it will be retitled to
01:02:35Stressed, Poor and My Body is Microplastics.
01:02:39This program contains strong language, sexual scenes and references
01:02:43from the beginning and throughout.
01:02:44That's right, I'll get that out.
01:02:45Oh!
01:02:46Oh!
01:02:59On the other end of the Paramount Plus content spectrum, and I really do mean the other end,
01:03:04was Aussie Shore, a Jersey slash Geordie Shore spinoff that achieves exactly what it sets out
01:03:09to do, but might also throw you into a spiral of despair because these horny little meat sacks
01:03:13are our future. Contrasting rather sharply from Channel 7's boring attempt at hot reality
01:03:19with Made in Bondi, the formula of Aussie Shore, on the other hand, is simple. Take a bunch
01:03:24of young hot things, give them never-ending alcohol, and then film the endless cycle of
01:03:29poppin', ploppin', moppin', floppin' and sloppin', which, incidentally, are also the
01:03:34names of the cast. The show seems to accept with a certain level of glee that if the content
01:03:39can't be good, it can at least be gross. There's questionable attitudes toward women.
01:03:44If you can't come in, don't want us!
01:03:48And if you're hard of hearing, it's reinforced again with subtitles.
01:03:51If you can't come in, don't want us!
01:03:54Yeah, just like the NBN, the universal push for equality is also yet to reach Cairns.
01:04:00There's some great moments with the cast where we really dive into their heads.
01:04:04I'm here to have some fun, to be an absolute idiot, be myself.
01:04:07My type is anything with a vagina.
01:04:10Well, anything with a vagina, because cats have one, and kangaroos have three.
01:04:16There's cast members who say cunt at the end of every sentence.
01:04:19Are you okay?
01:04:20Yeah.
01:04:20Piss me off, hon.
01:04:22Who's the one licking my pussy, cunt?
01:04:23I just fell through the bush, cunt.
01:04:25She certainly did cunt, and others with some pretty lofty life aspirations.
01:04:29My dream job is no job.
01:04:31And I suspect that'll pan out just fine.
01:04:35My favourite moment is when a cast member is a bit down and has a quiet chat with the host.
01:04:39I've come here and said to myself, I want to be as organic and as myself as possible.
01:04:44And you are, and that's what you've got to do.
01:04:46And thankfully, the solution is a truly universal one.
01:04:49Because I'm literally licking arse today.
01:04:52Because why not?
01:04:54What, you want to lick an arsehole?
01:04:55Yeah.
01:04:57Exactly.
01:04:58Exactly.
01:04:59Sometimes, you just have to lick an actual arsehole.
01:05:03Copyright Karl Marx, circa 1875.
01:05:06Technically speaking, though, Aussie Shaw is a triumph.
01:05:10By technically, I mean the audio, because I've never heard a high-fidelity blowjob.
01:05:23As always, we arrive at December, where Christmas films have become a bit of a streaming staple.
01:05:28This year, gravy was being made and a dog was dying, plus the usual cats being strangled
01:05:33over on carols.
01:05:34Paul Barry said farewell to Media Watch, and Sky News presumably said farewell to 80% of their content.
01:05:41Will of Fortune, formerly Channel 7, jumped ship to Channel 10?
01:05:45Because why try something new when we can just retry someone else's hit?
01:05:48Except for a 2008 retry that wasn't a hit either.
01:05:52Hey, if 10 can recycle three game shows, we can recycle one joke.
01:05:56And closing with the joke we opened with feels appropriate because, in 2024, everything old was new again.
01:06:0210 were so committed to recycling those game shows this year that even the concept of recycling them was itself
01:06:07recycled.
01:06:08Back in 1989, Bob Shanks, the much maligned former managing director of 10, relaunched old game and quiz shows,
01:06:15and a few weeks later, dumped them.
01:06:16So, they're nothing if not consistent.
01:06:19And given all of 7's controversies, even their old marketing campaigns were new again.
01:06:24How about 1969's poorly worded rebellion with, Channel 7 is revolting.
01:06:28Hey, it certainly is.
01:06:30Or 89's equally prescient, What a load of garbage.
01:06:33You said it.
01:06:35Or how about the more sensible, Australia, it's time to unite.
01:06:39It's good to have a funny one in there.
01:06:41But of course, it's all the old shows that are new again.
01:06:44Alongside Wheel of Fortune, there was the resurrection of the great outdoors,
01:06:48the reanimation of Ready Steady Cook.
01:06:50And don't forget Jeopardy and The Office, because a lot of people probably will.
01:06:54In 2025, there'll be even more old, new things, a fourth go at Big Brother,
01:07:00a third go at Talking About Your Generation, and possibly a second go at SES Australia.
01:07:04And I think Ant Middleton needs that show, because what else is he going to shout at?
01:07:08His garden?
01:07:09We joke, but it's a show we'd all watch.
01:07:12Anyway, with everything going and coming back in perpetuity,
01:07:15who'd have thought that making TV in Australia is just one big cyclical guessing game,
01:07:20or some kind of desperate Wheel of Fortune?
01:07:23But we'll still be here watching all of it, including Bruce Lerman's OnlyFans, apparently.
01:07:27He'll have our subscription, so no one else really has to bother with it.
01:07:31That said, here's a hot little piece that he can clip up to get him started.
01:07:34Two, three, four...
01:07:36Bruce one!
01:07:40Bruce one!
01:07:42Bruce one!
01:07:44Okay, yep, that's enough, he can just loop that.
01:07:46Yeah, you're welcome.
01:07:55Are you a valued member of the industry?
01:07:59Mmm, no.
01:08:09Uh, wait.
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