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CortometrajesTranscripción
00:00.
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00:00.
00:00.
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00:12.
00:24Anselmo? Anselmo? Anselmo?
00:28Taka, taka, taka!
00:30Sina bang Anselmo yan? Johnny nga pangalan ko, Anselmo ko ng Anselmo.
00:35Teka, teka, teka.
00:38Anselmo? Anselmo nilalagay?
00:41Sak-sak sa likod!
01:07Pwede kainin, lalo na pag nagiinuman.
01:10Ay sarap, pinapapak.
01:12Nasan niya'y swak na swak?
01:14Lalagapak, pag binayo talagang papalapak.
01:17Hala tumuwan, ano ba yan?
01:19Tingin ko babad na babad.
01:21Basta manik, kapag sinagad, napapak.
01:24May inigaw at adobo, meron na ring nilaya.
01:28Ang pinakamalasa ay sa mga gandang dala.
01:31Wow, manik, wow manik, wow manik, wow manik, wow manik.
01:50Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money.
02:01Essentially night guys, I'm going to speak up on my phone.
02:05Hello.
02:06How are you guys?
02:08I'm good.
02:09Ah, are you guys going to apply?
02:12Yes, sir.
02:14You, a male. What do you want to apply?
02:18Driver.
02:18Driver po sir.
02:19Okay, may experience kang driver?
02:21Opo, dati po ang driver.
02:23Good, good, very good.
02:25Ikaw naman babae.
02:26Ako po mag-a-apply po kung mag-alaga ng bata.
02:29Okay, may experience ka sa bata?
02:32Opo, dati po akong bata.
02:45Ano ka mo lab?
02:48Sampung beses mo akong pinagtaksilan?
02:52Oo, kasi naalala mo nung may sakit ka.
02:57Di ba wala naman tayong perang pang pa-opera?
03:00Ayun, nakipag-sex ako sa doktor.
03:02O di ba na-operaan ka ng libre?
03:05Nagawa mo yun para sa akin?
03:07Siyempre mahal kita eh.
03:09Eh ano naman yung pangalawa?
03:13Di ba napromote ka sa trabaho?
03:16Hmm.
03:17Ayun, nakipag-sex ako sa boss mo para ma-promote ka.
03:20Ganon kita ka mahal.
03:21Talaga?
03:23Nagawa mo yun para sa akin?
03:24Pre.
03:26Dapat akong mahiya sa'yo ah.
03:28Salamat ah.
03:33Pero, ano naman yung walong kataksilan na ginawa mo?
03:38Di ba nung nakaraan nanalo ka sa walong players na professional golfers?
03:43Nanalo nga ako doon eh.
03:46Eh di ba hindi ka naman marunong mag-golf?
03:48Oo nga.
03:49Ano nga ba akong nanalo doon?
03:52Ayun.
03:53Hall in one nila ako lahat.
04:09Ano nga?
04:10Ah.
04:10Nakakayang sabihin ba ako mapahiya?
04:15Ah.
04:17Excuse me, kuya.
04:19Ah.
04:20Yes, miss.
04:22Ah.
04:22Kasi nakabukas yung barangay hall mo eh.
04:27Ah, ganun ba?
04:28Ah.
04:29Naitawin bang lumabas si Kapitan na galit na galit?
04:33Ah.
04:35Ah.
04:36Si Kapitan ba yung bansot na lumabas?
04:38Naku.
04:40Keliitliit.
04:41Ketapang.
04:45Ay.
04:46Ako din pa rin nakabukas.
04:52Ah.
04:55Ah.
04:57Ah.
04:57Di mo.
05:00Napakaganda talaga ng mahal na Reyna, no?
05:03Oo kay Antonio.
05:05Swerg na mahal na Hari.
05:07Maka talaga ang Reyna.
05:09Alam ni ba?
05:11Di mo.
05:11Tanto mo.
05:12Kayo maingay ah.
05:13E ang gabi-gabi kung pinagpapanta siya ngayon.
05:17Ha?
05:19Ako naman?
05:21Dato siyang hinabangal na ikaw.
05:24Papay.
05:26Makalapas na nga kayo.
05:28Hindi nyo nag-ilalang ang mahal na Reyna.
05:31Paano nalang ang mahal na Hari?
05:33Bidyan nang nerespeto.
05:35Nakakaiya kayo.
05:38Mahalari.
05:43Mahal kong Reyna.
05:44Mahal na rin.
05:46Mahal na rin.
05:47Ano ipag-ilagay niyo sa akin?
05:49Yan ang castity, ma.
05:51Protection niya ang aking mahal na Reyna.
05:54Kung sino man ang magtangkang magsamantala sa'yo,
05:58sigurado,
05:59puto lang kanyang pagkalalaki.
06:04Mga kawan!
06:06Mahal na Hari.
06:07Mahal na Hari.
06:13Kanyang tatlo.
06:16Kanyang tatlo ang pinakamalapit na aking kawan.
06:21Ako ay aalis upang makidigma.
06:25At sa inyo ako pinagkakatiwala
06:28ang kaligtasan ng aking Reyna.
06:32Maliwalag ba?
06:34Maliwalag po.
06:35Maliwalag po.
06:36Handa akong magbigay ng tabuya
06:38kung sino man sa inyo ang tatlo
06:40ang magiging matapat.
06:42Subalit,
06:44may kaparusahan
06:47kapag ang aking Reyna
06:49ay napahamang.
06:50Maliwalag ba?
06:52Pedro!
06:54Di mo!
06:56Antonio!
06:57Maliwalag po.
06:58Mahal na Hari.
06:59Mahal na Hari.
07:02Malcolm Reynos.
07:04Ako ay aalisya.
07:07Magiging kamal kumal.
07:08Wish me luck.
07:13Ya!
07:17Ano?
07:18May sinasabi ba kayo?
07:19Wala po.
07:20Wala po.
07:24Ako ay aalisya talaga.
07:28Huwag magiging kamal kumal.
07:39Marinig niyo.
07:39Bantayan ang mahal na Reyna.
07:50Marinig niyo.
07:51Tarik.
07:52Medyo.
07:54Dandyan yung mahal na Hari.
07:56Yan naman.
07:57Hindi dyan.
07:58O naman.
08:04Maruleta!
08:08Ako ay nagbagi sa digmaan!
08:11Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
08:12Ang kalimahal kumal!
08:14Maruleta!
08:15Alamis kitang nangis!
08:16Ah!
08:19Ngayon!
08:20You're three, Kaka!
08:23I'm going to know if you're a good guy
08:26and you're going to be a good guy
08:28You're a good guy!
08:35Pedro, I'd like to see you a guy!
08:44Huh?
08:45Pakol!
08:47Taksi!
08:50Taksi!
08:50Dabudo!
08:52Malari!
08:53Tugot na ng ulo!
08:55Hindi! Malari!
08:58Hindi na lang ako sigan!
09:03Diwok!
09:05Mabanti, ah!
09:08Iko ko rin makita ang iyong sandata!
09:12Hindi!
09:13Patong din!
09:14Sure ka?
09:15Oo!
09:19Ha?
09:25Patong din!
09:27Saka rin taksi!
09:29Hindi ka ba magkakatiwalaan!
09:31Bando ka!
09:33Malari!
09:35Tugot na ng ulo!
09:36Masusunod!
09:37I'm sorry! I'm sorry pa!
09:44Antonyo!
09:46Antonyo!
09:48Mabanti kabagya!
09:53Gusto ko rin makita ang iyong sandata!
09:58Ora mismo!
10:12Hindi potol!
10:15Hala!
10:16Hala!
10:17Antonyo!
10:18Pinahanga mo ko!
10:19Dahil diyan!
10:21Ibigay kita ng kabuya!
10:24Ibigay kita ang kanong kamay!
10:27At dahil ikaw na ang aking kanong kamay!
10:30May nais ka ba'ng sabihin!
10:37May nais ka ba'ng sabihin!
10:40Ibigaym!
10:41Madangog mo
10:41Uw!!
10:45Uw!
10:54Uwy!
10:58Uw!
10:59Uw!
10:59Uw!
11:01Uw!
11:02Ah, ma'am. Ah, may papakiusap po sana ako sa inyo.
11:08Pwede na ho ba kong umuwi?
11:12Oh, hindi pa oras na huwian ah.
11:15Mati huwi ka na?
11:16Ah, kasi po, gustong gusto ko nang huwarin yung panty ng misis ko eh.
11:23Ano ba? Bakit? Hot na hot ka na ba?
11:27Ah, hindi po. Masikip eh.
11:30Naiipit yung balls ko.
11:38Hi, Ageline from Wowmanie. Anong name mo kuya?
11:42Jeffrey Nadera.
11:43Noel po. RG po. Chito.
11:45Ah, I'm Francis po.
11:47Ah, ito ang first question mo.
11:49Anong pwede mong gawin sa gabi na hindi pwedeng gawin sa umaga?
11:55Ang pwede di gawin sa gabi na pwede gawin sa umaga.
11:59Mag-jagging.
12:00Ah, matulog.
12:07Matulog.
12:08Matulog.
12:10Dumilat.
12:12Magpuyat kuya.
12:13Matulog.
12:14Matulog.
12:16Matulog.
12:23Matulog.
12:24And welcome to the best show on earth.
12:27Battle of the Brawlers.
12:32Of course, Battle of the Brawlers is brought to you by Playtime, the fastest growing online gaming platform.
12:40Ako po si John Ovep ang inyong host.
12:43At hindi ko na patatagalin, pakikilala ko na sa inyo ang dalawang universidad na maglalaman.
12:48At mulain na natin ang mula sa Music and Arts of Romantic School o Mars.
12:55Pasok.
13:01At ang makakalaban naman nila ay galing sa Very Enchanting National University of Sweethearts o Venus.
13:12At niyo siya, ay, ay, ang kasas!
13:15Ang kakakakakakaa!
13:16Ang kasasas!
13:17Ang kasasas!
13:17Ang kasasas!
13:18Panalo na ito.
13:18Ano na ito.
13:19Kapos lang, eh.
13:20Ay?
13:21Ano na na?
13:22Ay, bias?
13:23Bayan ang kasasasatorty.
13:25Abuli.
13:26Sublimusip eh.
13:27Okay, meron ba kayong mga chit?
13:30Meron!
13:30Mayroon!
13:31Okay, sinamang ako nasabi?
13:33Mas, go, ma!
13:34Let's go!
13:35We're going to do it for UA18.
13:36Huh?
13:37This one.
13:39One, two, three, go!
13:42M!
13:42M!
13:43A!
13:45R!
13:47F!
13:48F!
13:50Good!
13:50Good job!
13:52Good job!
13:53What a lot of UA18!
13:56I don't know what you're going to show.
13:58You don't have to tell us!
14:00You don't have to tell us!
14:02You don't have to tell us!
14:05How do you do it?
14:06One, two, three, go!
14:09B!
14:10E!
14:10N!
14:11U!
14:12F!
14:12F!
14:12F!
14:14F!
14:15F!
14:15F!
14:18F!
14:18F!
14:19F!
14:20F!
14:21F!
14:21F!
14:21F!
14:21F!
14:23F!
14:24F!
14:25F!
14:26F!
14:52F!
14:53F!
14:53F!
14:54F!
14:55F!
14:55F!
15:01F!
15:06F!
15:09F!
15:09F!
15:09F!
15:09F!
15:13F!
15:15F!
15:16F!
15:18F!
15:19F!
15:21F!
15:23F!
15:25F!
15:25F!
15:27F!
15:29F!
15:30F!
15:31F!
15:31F!
15:31F!
15:32F!
15:32F!
15:32F!
15:33F!
15:33F!
15:33F!
15:33F!
15:34F!
15:37F!
15:44F!
15:46F!
15:50F!
15:56F!
15:56F!
15:58F!
15:58F!
16:02F!
16:05F!
16:06F!
16:07F!
16:07F!
16:08F!
16:19F!
16:22F!
16:22F!
16:22F!
16:23F!
16:23F!
16:24F!
16:24F!
16:25F!
16:26F!
16:26F!
16:27F!
16:29F!
16:31F!
16:34F!
16:39itura niya is hindi mo masyanong magugustwa pero dahil na maganda ang kalooban niya mapapalapit siya sa'yo.
16:46Yes!
16:49I've been a kid!
16:49Since he's been a kid.
16:50Just like a kid.
16:52Oh, you've been able to get him a kid.
16:55Come on, you've been able to get him a kid.
16:58No, you're a kid!
16:58Police, a kid!
17:00The only thing I've been able to get him is not just a kid,
17:03but also a kid.
17:06You've been able to get him a kid.
17:08You've been able to get him a kid.
17:09What's the kid?
17:12Come on!
17:13Come on!
17:13All right, everyone!
17:14Oh, it's a good one!
17:16What we're looking for is the song
17:20If you want to live your life,
17:22you can use a puk-puk.
17:25We're going to go!
17:26Open it!
17:29We're in the middle of the day!
17:32Venus, Mars!
17:32Venus, Mars!
17:34It's a 4!
17:36They're so excited!
17:38They're so excited!
17:39Miss one sequence!
17:41Pasok!
17:42Ayan na siya!
17:45Ayan na siya!
17:46Ayan na siya!
17:46Ayan na siya!
17:48Ayan na siya!
17:50Ayan na siya!
17:55Ayan na siya!
17:57Ayan na siya!
17:59Unahin na siya!
18:02Team Venus na!
18:04Team Venus!
18:05Ang pagpipilihan niya ang parusa
18:07Papaso kayo sa mall
18:08at magpapadulas kayo sa handrail ng escalator na walang soot na panty!
18:13Ayan na siya!
18:16O!
18:17Mag-uobad kayo ng pangka!
18:19Ayan, mas madali!
18:20Huobad!
18:21Huobad!
18:21Huobad!
18:34Huobad!
18:35Ganun!
18:36O!
18:37O!
18:37O!
18:37O!
18:38O hindi kami magaling mag-blow!
18:41Okay!
18:42O!
18:42O!
18:43O!
18:43O!
18:45O!
18:46O!
18:55Okay, that's the end of our easy round.
19:00Let's go with the difficult round.
19:04This is the Battle of the Brawlers!
19:20Marz, you know my baby is 24 months?
19:24Really, Marz?
19:26How long have she been?
19:28Marz, she's two years old.
19:30Marz, you know when the baby is 24 months, you've been two years old.
19:36You're a little bit more, Marz.
19:38You're a little bit more.
19:40How do I know that I'm still a baby?
19:43Oh, I can't remember that.
19:45Marz, you're a little bit more.
19:48What?
19:49Anak!
19:50And welcome back to Battle of the Brawlers!
19:56Andi po na tayo sa difficult round.
19:59Medyo pahirapan na namin kayo, girls.
20:01Kaya listo, okay?
20:03For this round, ang kategory nyo ay
20:06Botany and Cultural Heritage Combined.
20:10Dali, so well dali.
20:11Ang tanong, ang ating pambansang rutas ay ang blank.
20:16Ito ay nagsisimula sa letter M.
20:19M.
20:20Minsan, pag nakikita ko pa lang ito,
20:23ay naglalaway na ako ano ang M na ito.
20:26Yes!
20:27Mane.
20:28May mane.
20:29Oh, yes.
20:32But hindi yun ang hinahanap lang sa kore.
20:34Minsan, kulay dilaw din ang rutas na ito.
20:37Yes!
20:37Ma-mais?
20:38Wala itong buho.
20:40Ah!
20:40Yes!
20:41Maningkalbo.
20:45Minsan, masarap itong kagating dahil malutong.
20:50Mansanas!
20:51Ah, it's not bad. Actually, it's good, it's good, it's good.
20:56Yes?
20:57Manzanos na hilaw?
21:00Ah, in English, it's called mango. Okay?
21:05Mango?
21:06That's it.
21:07Mango.
21:07What is this?
21:09Ano yung Tagalog?
21:11Mangosteen, go.
21:12Mangosteen, go.
21:13Perfect.
21:16Ito na, ah.
21:17Maghintayin nyo pala manap.
21:24Ang hinahanap natin na prutas ay may mga letrang M, may A, may N, may dalawang G, at meron pang
21:39isang A.
21:40Anong ito?
21:41Yan!
21:44M A M G G G A?
21:46Yes?
21:46Malunggay!
21:48Malunggay!
21:50Malunggay!
21:51Malung!
21:57Ano ba yan?
22:01Let's try my best!
22:02Do you think it's fruit?
22:07Come back here, we're not going to finish the game.
22:10I'm not going to finish the game.
22:11I'm going to finish the game.
22:12I'm going to finish the game.
22:14What is fruit?
22:15What is it?
22:17What is it?
22:17M-A-M-G-G-A?
22:19Do you see it?
22:20Yes.
22:21Okay, the answer is...
22:25Magagancho.
22:26What is it?
22:28What is it?
22:29Yes, yes.
22:33Okay.
22:36Sinawanain natin?
22:37Mars.
22:39Mars?
22:40Yes.
22:42Sumagot naman kayo.
22:44Ito ang pagpipilihan nyo.
22:46Kayo ang magiging target sa archery,
22:49pero sa halip na apple ang nasa ulo nyo
22:52na papanain ay aratilis.
22:56Ay!
22:57Ay!
22:57Alok!
22:58Alok!
22:59Alok!
22:59Or, mag-uubad kayo ang palo.
23:01Alok!
23:03Alok!
23:07Alok!
23:07Alok!
23:09Alok!
23:10Alok!
23:18Alok!
23:22Alok!
23:24It's a bad thing.
23:25It's a bad thing.
23:26I have no bad thing!
23:29It's a bad thing!
23:33It's a bad thing!
23:36We are waiting for you.
23:37We don't want to wait for you.
23:39We will wait for you.
23:43Thank you for coming.
23:45This is the final round of Battle of the Braille.
23:57Do you know, girls, that's my father's father.
24:01Why? What's the problem?
24:03She's 70 years old.
24:05At 8 o'clock in the morning,
24:07she wants to eat.
24:08But she doesn't eat.
24:11No!
24:13That's my father's father.
24:16She's 80 years old.
24:18At 8 o'clock in the morning,
24:21she wants to eat.
24:22But she doesn't have a pupo.
24:25What are you doing?
24:27You're a problem with your father's father.
24:31My father's father is 95 years old.
24:35When it comes to 8 o'clock in the morning,
24:39she's a pupo.
24:42But what's the problem?
24:44She's a 9 o'clock in the morning.
24:48You're a problem.
24:51You're a problem.
24:51Mga kaibigan,
24:52labag man sa aking kalooban,
24:54tuloy pa rin ang Battle of the Praless.
24:57Yes!
25:01Okay, ready na ba kayo?
25:03Yes, we are.
25:05Ito na ang ating final round.
25:14Ito na, ang ating final round.
25:17Ready na kayo, girls?
25:18Ready, ready, ready, ready.
25:20Okay, ang inyong category,
25:23pet care management, gender, and intimacy combined.
25:27Ang hayop na tinaguriang man's best friend
25:31ay ang blank.
25:33At ito ay nagsisimula sa letter D.
25:37Yes!
25:38Donald.
25:41Duck.
25:43Donald Duck.
25:45Hayop na naman.
25:46Pero hindi.
25:47Ito ay madalas nakikita rin ating pakalat-palat sa daan.
25:51Daga.
25:52Daga.
25:53Pakalat-palat.
25:54Mas malaki sa daga.
25:56Dinosaur.
25:58Sobrang laki naman doon.
26:00O, clue pa.
26:00Ito, ito.
26:01Ito ay umuwi sa bahay natin.
26:03Ito ay may pangil at buntot.
26:06Yes.
26:07Demonyo.
26:07Uy.
26:08Bakit demonyo?
26:09Ito lang yung sinasabi ng nanay ko sa tatay ko eh.
26:12Demonyo ka!
26:13Hayop na!
26:13Umuwi ka pa!
26:16Atay, awa!
26:18Panalo ka na.
26:19Panalo ka na sa acting.
26:20Pero dito, mali.
26:21Mali siya.
26:22Okay, mali tayo yung lahat ng tamang sagot.
26:25Ang hinahanap natin ay Daisy.
26:27Hello?
26:27Ano yun?
26:28Ano ko yun sir?
26:30Daro.
26:30Wait lang, ano pala ko bahayot?
26:32Da, Daisy Duck.
26:34O, di ba sabi mo Donald Duck?
26:36Okay.
26:36Back to me.
26:38Okay, make up tayo ng scores.
26:40Of course.
26:42Zero, zero.
26:43Missed consequence.
26:45I love it!
26:48Kasaya pa rin sila.
26:50Ah, let's say it.
26:52Puchu, puchu.
26:54Ah, puchu, puchu.
26:55Ah, ah, ah, ah.
26:56Ah, puchu, puchu.
27:00Beautiful.
27:04Okay.
27:05Cheers.
27:08And yun sa inyo?
27:09Ito po.
27:09Okay.
27:10Unahin natin ang King Venus.
27:12Hello, sir.
27:13Ito ang pagpipilian nyong parusa.
27:16May dala kayong toothpick at kailangan nyong tanggalan ng tinga sa ngipin ang bagong kain na pirana.
27:23Ay.
27:23Or?
27:25Magtatanggal kayo ng bra.
27:26Hindi.
27:27Hindi, magtatanggal na lang ng bra.
27:28Ay!
27:28Okay.
27:30King Mars, ang pagpipilian nyo, ima mouth-to-mouth resuscitation ng isang lalaki.
27:37Okay, di ba?
27:38Na?
27:39Na?
27:39Malunod sa posonay ko.
27:42Or?
27:43Magtatanggal ng bra.
27:45Ayun ko magkaroon ng bag, tred.
27:47Tanggal na lang po kami ng bra.
27:49Yan po ang napiling nila.
27:50Yes.
27:50Magtanggal na ang bra.
27:51So, I don't have anything to do with the consequence.
27:59Thank you very much.
28:03I hope you enjoyed it here in our game today.
28:07Of course, the Battle of the Brothers is the highest cashback online gaming platform.
28:14Ito po si Jonovette, ang pinakamaswerteng host sa buong mundo.
28:19Ito po ang Battle of the Brothers!
28:32Good night!
28:33Kawa-kawa-kawa-kawa-kawa-kawa!
28:36Ay, nakitao niyo!
28:40Thank you! Palakba ka!
28:44Ay, nakitao niyo!
28:45Ay, ay, ay! Sorry!
28:49Wow, money!
28:50Wow, money!
28:52Wow, money!
28:53Wow, money!
28:54Wow, money!
28:57Wow, money!
28:59Wow, money!
29:00Wow, money!
29:00Wow, money!
29:01Wow, money!
29:02Ito na, yung paborito nyong pulutan.
29:06Pwede kainin, lalo na pag nagiinuman.
29:09Kaya'y sarap, pinapapak, nasa'y nyo'y swak na swak?
29:13Ilalagapak, pag binayo, talagang papalagpak.
29:16Hala tumuwad, ano ba yan? Tingin ko babad na babad.
29:20Basta manik, kapag sinagad, napapak.
29:24May inigaw at adobo, meron na ring nilaga.
29:26Ang pinakamalasa ay sa mga ganang dala.
29:30Wow, money!
29:31Wow, money!
29:33Wow, money!
29:37Wow, money!
29:40Wow, money!
29:42Wow, money!
29:43Wow, money!
29:44Wow, money!
29:45Wow, money!
29:47Wow, money!
29:49Wow, money!
29:50Wow, money!
29:51Wow, money!
29:52Wow, money!
29:54Wow, money!
29:55Wow, money!
29:56Wow, money!
29:56Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
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