00:00If you're lucky enough to still have a relationship with your parents, you still have them around,
00:03whether they're together, separated, whatever the case, if they're still here and you still
00:08get to talk to them, just cherish that moment every time you talk to them because one day
00:12that might not happen and I'll tell you now, from my experience, it'll bloody hurt. My dad
00:16has dementia for those people that don't know and I've just had to pull over after having a visit
00:21for him just to sort of calm down, re-evaluate everything and just, and I just thought I'm just
00:26going to make a video whether I decide to post it or not is another thing. A friend of mine
00:30spoke
00:30about her mum who has dementia some time ago and it really helped me. I got quite emotional watching
00:35it. Oh, excuse me. And because of that, I thought I'm going to do the same because if I can
00:41show a
00:41side of my vulnerability and my experience with dementia, then maybe somebody else might want
00:47to speak out about it. Maybe it might make somebody else's experience of dementia or other illnesses
00:51that have just kind of taken your parents so quickly away from you or parent, then, you know,
00:57that maybe that might help somebody else. My dad was a compare comedian. He's very well known in
01:01Manchester. He's got lots of people who always ask me about him and it's really nice, but the answer
01:05is always the same. It's always, yeah, you know, he's okay, but he's not really. He's really not.
01:10I just had a visit with him then and it was quite a poor visit. I saw him in the
01:13window asleep as I
01:14turned up and I thought, this is going to be pointless and no it is, but I have to see
01:17him.
01:17And my friend spoke about her mum and she said, it's almost like a selfish thing, a selfish need
01:22to go and see them to tick a box that you've seen them. And the same questions come, how are
01:26the
01:26kids? Where are you living now? Are you back on Emmerdale? Where are you living now? Are you back
01:30in Emmerdale? How's the kids? How's your mum? He kind of makes stuff up. It's really, really bloody hard.
01:34He used to call me quite a lot when he was of sound mind and he used to live on
01:39his own
01:40without a care team in a care home. And I used to, I used to put him on mute because
01:46he would just
01:47rant at me for a good 10, 15 minutes and I would do anything in the world to have that
01:51moment back right now. Um, just to just let him rant at me and not feel fed up that he's
01:58ringing me or not looking and go, here we go. Or I'll call him back later and then forget
02:01I'd do anything. Dementia is so cruel, man. It's so, so cruel. If anybody else is resonating
02:06with this video or can relate to this video, I'm really sorry that you're going through
02:09the same situation, but, um, sometimes it's easier just to just dump it on here. Um, other
02:15people might scroll off it by now and that's totally fine, um, because it might not suit
02:19other people, but it certainly helps and it certainly gives other people an opportunity
02:22to feel vulnerable and to be okay with feeling, feeling vulnerable. Um, but I miss my dad so
02:27much, man. I really do. I had one thing that did make me laugh. I'll leave it on this note
02:32so it's not all doom and gloom. I said, I'm going to come back next week and I'll visit you.
02:37Can I bring you anything? Yeah. Bring us a nice big blonde. Bring us a nice big blonde
02:42girl and leave her here for three days. That was my dad. Comedian. He's still in there somewhere,
02:47but my God, I miss him. Um, anyway, I hope everyone's okay. I hope everyone's doing all
02:52right. Um, I'm sending loads of love to you and your parents, you and your family. Take care.
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