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00:00This is the first dates restaurant
00:02Ooh la la la femme fatale
00:03A place where eyes meet
00:06I believe I have a date here waiting for me
00:08Stars align
00:10How do you do? I'm Mr. Ransom
00:12And Cupid's arrow often hits its mark
00:16I was having a little moment there
00:21Didn't you marry the last girl you dated on TV?
00:24Yeah, well
00:25Tonight, four celebrity diners
00:29Will walk through these doors
00:30What is your name please? Brad
00:32Do you know what you're looking for?
00:34Well a man
00:36For a real blind date
00:38With an unsuspecting civilian
00:40You'll never guess who I'm on a date with right now
00:42Brad from The Vamps
00:43I am thrilled that you have no idea who I am
00:48Some will crash and burn
00:51You're actually bleeding
00:53I'm actually bleeding as well
00:55Others are about to strike it lucky
00:57I've never ever been on a date like this before
01:02They've been meticulously matched
01:05I love aliens
01:05Oh yeah, well I'm an alien
01:07Based upon their likes and dislikes
01:10I'm alright with white liquors
01:12With what?
01:12White liquors
01:13I thought you said white knickers
01:15What happens next is down to them
01:17He was doing so well up to them
01:21The saying goes
01:22There's someone out there for all of us
01:26These VIPs are all hoping that it's true
01:31That's that girl from Aiden Chelsea
01:33Wow
01:33She's fair
01:35Get back, she's mine
01:37I'll fight you
01:49And so this is today's showbiz news
01:55Very, very good, Sam
01:56That's very good
01:56First impressions, Fred
01:57First impressions
01:58Millie Mackintosh shows off amazing abs
02:02A-list gym buddies
02:04David Beckham and Guy Ritchie
02:05Enjoy a sweaty bonding session
02:08Okay
02:12You okay?
02:13Yes, I'm good
02:14I don't know what men must think
02:15I'm gonna be like
02:16I've got a famous ex-husband
02:18Oh, who is that?
02:19Er, Ronnie Wood
02:21I think they must think I'm insane
02:25When I'm nervous, I smile a lot
02:28I'm constantly like
02:29Oh, really?
02:30People think they know me
02:31But then
02:32Are they pretending we don't know?
02:34The people like do come up to us
02:36Are they like
02:37Oh, my mum loves you
02:38And I'm like
02:39Oh, what about you?
02:40Like I don't care about your mum
02:42No offence
02:46Hi
02:49Was that a bit weird hide
02:51Like it was a bit too short
02:51Shall I do another one?
02:52What should I say?
02:53Like hello?
02:54Hi
02:54Hi
02:55It was like a little alien in Mars Attacks
02:57Indie rocker Preston
02:58Now writes for some of the biggest names in pop
03:01Hello
03:02Fuck, that was even worse, man
03:04I was like, hello
03:08But recently he's been somewhat less than successful with the ladies
03:12I think people sometimes expect me to have like
03:14Had groupies and that sort of thing
03:16And had like some kind of rock and roll lifestyle
03:19But I'm just, I'm not like that at all
03:21Hello, how are you?
03:22Hi, I'm very well, thank you
03:23How are you Preston?
03:24You okay?
03:24I'm very well, yeah
03:25I am looking for someone to make all the love songs
03:28Like I feel very, feel all important to me again
03:31Thank you
03:31What's his name?
03:33I know him
03:33From ordinary boys
03:35Preston, Preston
03:37Big brother, Preston
03:38Yeah, yeah, yeah
03:39And then he's the one that got married to
03:42Yeah
03:43He married her
03:44Yeah
03:46It's been nine years since his ten month marriage to fellow big brother housemate Chantel fizzled out
03:54Chantel was so far removed from my type
03:57You know, I was like nerdy kid at school
04:00The idea that like an attractive blonde page three girl would ever be in the same room as me
04:06Was like just might be on my wildest dreams
04:10Correct me if I'm wrong
04:11Didn't you marry the last girl you dated on TV?
04:14Yeah, my, um, I have a hundred percent track record of marrying people that I've been on a CV
04:19Got a high bar to jump we had
04:20I definitely loved her a lot
04:23But big brother is such an intense thing to do
04:25You feel like you almost have that bonding that you get after like a war or something
04:29I think it was also that that ultimately doomed us as well because it was just too much
04:35Now, I just feel ready to meet someone that I get on with really well
04:39You know, I'm genuinely hopeful
04:41That you can find me someone
04:46I normally go for like brunettes fringe, you know, the type
04:53Oblivious to Preston's former tabloid fame is South African stunner Nicole
04:59I was born in Johannesburg in South Africa
05:01The South African men that are in my family are quite manly
05:04But I'd really like someone who's creative
05:06Reminds me of the adverts, you know, Nicole?
05:08I know, I get that all the time
05:09Do you?
05:11I do go for guys that have tattoos or gold teeth
05:17My friends and I joke about it a lot
05:19We call it criminal chic
05:21Hi
05:21Hi
05:22Hi
05:22How are you?
05:23Thank you, I'm Nicole, how are you?
05:25Very well, Preston
05:26Preston, nice to meet you
05:27Nice to meet you too
05:28Hi
05:28Are you quite nervous?
05:29Yes, nice to meet you
05:31What do you do for a limit?
05:32I work in events?
05:34I work in events
05:35I do events around Europe, so in like Paris or Berlin or wherever
05:38Oh nice
05:40So I used to be in a band when I like about ten years ago
05:42Yeah
05:43I've been writing music so I write for like Olly Murs and like Enrique Iglesias and Cher
05:48No way
05:50Probably the reason that I'm successful as a songwriter is because I am quite a sort of emotionally turbulent person
05:58I just end up writing like gloomy songs and I think maybe my career would benefit from me falling in
06:05love definitely
06:07Cheers
06:07Cheers
06:08This is what it's up
06:09Mm-hmm
06:11Would you like to follow me?
06:12Yes
06:12Oh, thank you
06:13Please
06:14So when it comes to like slips going out on dates, do they just do like the classic on Tinder?
06:19Oh, surely not
06:22Oh, you're very fast
06:23I know
06:24Wait for me
06:27Would it be so easy?
06:28If I paired with say Brad Pitt I'd pick well this is a joke, it's to be a 90 year
06:32old man at the end of this
06:33It's just sitting there
06:41What do you want?
06:43Baby, I got it
06:46Gogglebox, chatterbox, Scarlet may have won the hearts of the nation
06:49But finding true love has been a completely different story
06:53R-E-S-B-C-T
06:55Why is it so heavy?
06:59How about you?
07:00That wasn't moving, it's stupid
07:01You're dead? Don't say it
07:03Since Gogglebox, my love life sort of went declined
07:06It's so strange you would think, like, I keep saying to my mum, how can I have so many followers
07:11on Twitter
07:12But not one person in real life wants to take us out? I don't understand
07:16Come in, come through, take you to the bar, have a drink
07:19Thank you, I need one
07:20I get people come up to us, they were like, oh you've made watching telly with your mum and dad
07:25cool
07:25Because there's a stigma attached to, like, spending time with your family, even though they're your family
07:30Me and my mum and dad are like the Brady Bunch
07:32We're like Geordie Bond traps
07:35I was hoping that I, like, would just walk in and he would be here already
07:39Do you know what you're looking for?
07:41Well a man
07:41Yeah, no, yeah
07:44I haven't really found anyone who's made us laugh at all
07:48I once had a lad, like, it was his idea to go on a date
07:51He made me pay for my own food
07:54He's came out when he started eating without us
07:56And he ate his peas with a steak knife
07:59And then he asked us to go to Halfords car park with him
08:01I was like, no, just take me on sunshine
08:04It's always me making conversation and I would love it if just once, like, I would meet someone
08:09Somebody could talk to you and serenade you with their words
08:14Yeah, maybe that, yeah
08:16What's the word? Rom...romantical? What's that word?
08:19Romantic
08:20That's what I am
08:22You watched Pretty Woman when he was on TV last...
08:24Oh, I'm not a prostitute
08:26No, but he's a nice movie
08:27It's got nothing to do with prostitutes
08:29He's a romantic movie
08:30Yes, it's got nothing to do with prostitutes
08:31No, it's a beautiful love story
08:33He was paying for her
08:34That isn't how love starts out
08:43So, why are you single?
08:45I've only been single for two years since I was 16
08:48Yeah
08:49And I feel like I'm playing catch-up
08:51I have no idea what's going on
08:52I don't understand how it works anymore
08:56I'm not ready to give up being single for just anyone
09:00My mum and dad split up when I was 16
09:03And I don't speak to my dad anymore
09:05So I haven't really had that solid male figure
09:08But I don't know if I learnt what a good relationship is
09:12And I definitely carried that into my other relationships
09:14I have Tinder, but I use it like Angry Birds
09:17Like, I just, like, get it out
09:19I've never met anyone from it, but I just, like...
09:21Why do you have it, then?
09:22It's like a video game, isn't it?
09:24Because it gives you the same gratification
09:26It's like, when you get a like, it just flashes a big...
09:29Like, you know, all this stuff sparkles around
09:31And you're just like, you did it!
09:33You, like, thumbs up!
09:35Do you think you'd find your dream girl in Tinder?
09:39Well...
09:39I haven't found her anywhere else, do you know what I mean?
09:43Isn't it sad in life in general
09:44Every mystery is, like, wrapped up as you get older
09:46I just read something last week that confirmed
09:49That the Loch Ness Monster photograph
09:52Was a particular type of log or something
09:56And it confirmed it completely
09:59There's no mystery
10:00Because you can just look it up on your phone
10:02And you're never, like...
10:03There's no wonder anymore, do you know what I mean?
10:05So why are you single, then?
10:07I don't know, ma'am
10:08You don't know?
10:09No
10:09No!
10:10I don't know
10:12I've been, like, really, like, obsessed with, like, getting this...
10:15Getting a career sorted and stuff like that
10:17Yeah
10:18And probably at the expense of relationships, really
10:22I've just done up my flat in Brighton
10:24And I've, like, set a space for, like, listening to records
10:26And it's all, like, a nice little area to sit down
10:29But it's just that I'd, like, quite like to have a girl there with me
10:32So, like, listen to records with while I do it, I don't know
10:37There's something really nice about having, like, a plus one to everything
10:39And stuff like that
10:40Like, you've always just got, like, a little mate
10:42Do you know what I mean?
10:43Like, you've always got someone to, like, hold the, like, second controller of your video game and stuff
10:48Do you know what I mean?
10:57Like, I'm hoping that, cos I'm, I always sit by myself
11:00Well, obviously with my mum and dad, but
11:02There's, like, a space there on the couch for someone else
11:06In 2016, as far as dating goes, I think you should meet someone face to face
11:10And then decide, cos, like, even my mum says that I'm better looking in pictures
11:15She says I'm unintentionally catfishing people
11:18I would just want someone who I can get that comfortable with
11:21They can see us without fake tan on
11:24Oh, Scarlett, he's a ten
11:25Oh, my God, I'm shaking like a shitting dog
11:28Oh, Scarlett, he's a ten
11:38High kicking his way onto Scarlett Seti
11:41His mixed martial arts fighter, Tommy
11:45What injuries have I had?
11:47Broke my nose so many times
11:49I was basically flubbered at the tip of my face
11:52How are we, sir? Are you good?
11:53Very good, thank you
11:53Snapped his thumb completely off
11:55Fractured my sternum
11:56I've broke my toes
11:57Shall I take your jacket, Tommy?
11:58Thank you very much, sir
11:59I've chipped my kneecap
12:00I've chipped my femur
12:02And knapsed it off the top of my head
12:04He has no idea he's been matched with a celebrity
12:07Where are you coming from?
12:09Newcastle
12:09Newcastle
12:09Newcastle
12:10Not too far
12:11I don't really know what women think about the fighting crack
12:13I don't really ask them
12:14Do you like fighters?
12:16Are you into fighters?
12:17I'm a fighter
12:17Do you like me?
12:19Please
12:21Hi, Arway
12:22Hi
12:23Are you well?
12:24How are you?
12:24I'm good, thank you
12:25I'm Scarlett
12:26I know you're sure we're friends on Facebook
12:29We are friends on Facebook
12:30I was thinking that I recognise you
12:32What's the crack?
12:33You do fighting, don't you?
12:35This is so weird
12:36Yeah
12:37I thought we've never bumped into each other
12:39To be honest though
12:41I was saying
12:42If it's anyone from Newcastle
12:43We're bound to know each other
12:44Because it's
12:45I will know someone
12:46It's so small, isn't it?
12:48My ideal man
12:49I really like the pirate look
12:51I don't mean like wooden leg and parrot
12:53Your beard's looking strong
12:54It's alright
12:55It was stronger the other day to be honest
12:57But I need a clip to look like a tramp man
12:58In my head
12:59It's hard to expect
13:00Captain Hook
13:02Captain Hook
13:02But obviously not animated
13:04Because that would be a problem
13:07Pictures don't do you justice actually
13:09Do they not?
13:10No!
13:10That's always good to hear
13:11Yeah, I think
13:12Ah, so lovely to hear
13:14Would you like to come through?
13:15Please, sir
13:16Please
13:16Thank you
13:17After yourself
13:24What are you doing, man?
13:26I'm checking out Preston
13:28It was heart skips a beat
13:29That he wrote the Olly Murs song
13:30Did he really?
13:31Yeah
13:31What like?
13:33Beautiful by Enrique Iglesias
13:35Would you dance?
13:37If I asked you to dance
13:41I actually produced a song by Lucy Spragland
13:44Do you remember that?
13:45Called Beer Fair
13:45Give me that song
13:46Who's a guy?
13:48Huh?
13:48A girl called Lucy Spragland
13:49Who was on X Factor
13:50Ah, see I don't have a telly
13:52Do not
13:52Do not?
13:53No
13:53To be honest, I'm not very good with famous people
13:55Yeah
13:56I feel like the problem is
13:57I didn't really grow up in England
13:59No
14:00It's just a problem
14:01The old British celebrities
14:03Like I was on Big Brother
14:04Like ten years ago
14:06You were on Big Brother?
14:07Yeah
14:08What?
14:08It was Celebrity Big Brother
14:10Okay
14:10Because of my band
14:12What's your band?
14:13The Ordinary Boys
14:18It seems to me that the interest in that celebrity culture has died down since Big Brother
14:23People just don't seem to care as much about like what Peter Andre had for dinner
14:27Do you know what I mean?
14:28But it was really fun
14:29It was such a nice time
14:30But I just need someone who is interested in the same things that I feel really passionate about
14:35I like cooking a lot
14:37I hate cooking
14:37I hate cooking
14:39Can you make anything out of napkins?
14:42No
14:42No
14:42And I've never tried
14:54Have you had a chance to look at the menu?
14:56No
14:56We've been talking too much
14:57Yeah
14:58Yeah
14:58It's always a good thing
15:01It's cool isn't it?
15:02I know
15:02I really like it
15:03It's mental that everyone's on the first date
15:05That's wicked isn't it though?
15:07Everyone's in the same boat
15:08Yeah
15:09Well they're not the same boat as us because we somewhat know each other
15:12Yeah
15:12Yeah which is good
15:14So when was the last time you had a girlfriend?
15:17Never
15:19What?
15:19Never had a girlfriend
15:21Why have you never had a girlfriend?
15:23I'm used to be that fat school me man. Did you? Oh, I sure mean fighting him's a roly-poly
15:28kid
15:28I was morbidly obese. I was 17 stone when I was 17. I was like a fat kid
15:37in my life would be non-existent without fighting. Then I ended up starting fighting and then I lost
15:42weight. I'm a different kid to what I was then. I used to be like dead shy and quiet. I
15:46was like
15:49a gob shape, professional gob shape. I was like well I think that's why now I just say what I
15:55think
15:55is like for so long I just like was dead quiet and stuff and now I'm just like ah I'm
16:01not bothered.
16:03Up until I was about 14 I had like a bad monobrow like teeth that were like that. The school
16:11let me
16:12go home early ten minutes before the bell rang so that I didn't get my face kicked in on the
16:17way out
16:18of school. Because I think to be happy in life like you've just got to wake up and sort of
16:22look
16:23forward to what you're doing. I think because it's took us so long to be able to just be me
16:27and be the little weirdo that I am. I'm just like well if you don't like us then it's your
16:32loss
16:32because I am a nice person. How long have you been doing Gogglebox now? You must be awake.
16:40Two years. Did you have to apply for that? No so they came to the house and don't laugh right
16:47but they
16:48showed us pictures of celebrities and we had to talk about them and for a good ten minutes I was
16:52talking about Uncle Ben you know the rice man. It was actually a picture of Nelson Mandela.
16:57Oh my god that's unreal. I was chatting about his savoury rice and all that. He makes a good rice
17:02that Mexican three man. And my dad was just like what are you talking about? That's unbelievable.
17:15Well he looks like Sylvester Stallone. When it comes to joining the VIP set, luxury car businessman Ernesto often gets
17:24mistaken for an A-lister.
17:25Hello. Hi young man. How are you? Your name is please? Ernesto Ernest. I went to a nightclub a few
17:32weeks ago and I was walking upstairs to the toilets and two guys would come down the stairs.
17:36They said you never said Al Pacino was coming here. This is the first time in my life I've ever
17:40been on a date and I'm actually edgy.
17:43So you're normally quite confident on your date? Oh yeah I'm totally laid back.
17:47And I've always been a good dresser. You know when I go out I like to wear a nice Italian
17:50suit. I keep my hair well grown. It is my hair.
17:54I've actually had women on the internet saying how can you be 59 years old and still got all your
17:57hair? Is it real?
17:59It's real yeah I'll whack a bit of gear in it obviously to colour it up.
18:06Do you go out much currently? I've had dates you know I've been dating girls on and off. But um
18:12no one's hit the magic button yet.
18:15Some of us out there there's someone floating around and there's me floating around. Eventually I think we'll just go
18:20whack it. We'll find each other somewhere.
18:22Have you found him yet? Have you found him? Have you found him?
18:29Married to Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood for 26 years, 60 year old Jo is one of the original rock chicks.
18:37They used to call our room Party Central. What I put in my body was nobody's business. I was hanging
18:47out with the boys. So I could keep up with them.
18:51You okay? Yes I'm good. Welcome. I couldn't not have a rock and roll lifestyle but that was my old
18:59life. You move on.
19:00I just feel like I need to fling my arms around some gorgeous guy who absolutely adores me.
19:08How are you? Are you well? Thank you, yes. Thank you. Lovely. Nice to meet you. That was sweet. And
19:13you? What's your name?
19:15Oh, my name's Jo. Jo? Yeah. My name's Ernest. Ernest. I'm Josephine really but everyone calls me Jo.
19:22Yeah, everyone calls you Jo. Yeah. So what do you like getting up to? What do you enjoy?
19:25I love cars. Bang on. I'll share your passion of cars. Yeah?
19:30Well, I've run a business digging with Ferrari, Lamborghini and AMGs. Do you?
19:35Can you just go out with a regular guy?
19:39Of course I can. But does a regular guy want to go out with me?
19:45And I love aliens. You love aliens? Well, you're getting well with me then.
19:49Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm an alien.
19:54Three courses in and Preston and Nicole still have an appetite for some gender politics.
20:00Where do you normally go out? Where do you normally meet girls?
20:03No, I just don't meet girls.
20:04Do you not go out?
20:06But do you expect a girl to come up to you? Are you...
20:08Yeah, why not?
20:10Really? Yeah, why not?
20:12Chivalry is not dead. I'm not convinced.
20:14Oh, I don't believe in any of that.
20:15Don't believe in chivalry?
20:17I don't see why chivalry should be exclusively a male...
20:20Really?
20:21No, I don't think so at all.
20:23I think there is. I think there's a certain, like, sense of manliness that comes to, like, owning a situation.
20:29Oh, I don't think I've subscribed to that.
20:31Oh, no.
20:32No, I don't think so. I'm just a bit of a feminist to me.
20:36I feel like feminism is quite fashionable now. I think you still need to keep stuff balanced.
20:41I kind of just like gender equality on these sorts of things, because otherwise I haven't got a chance, because
20:45I'm not going to ask anyone.
20:49He was very chatty, which I like, very talkative, very open, but I was hoping for someone maybe a bit
20:54more manly, a bit taller.
20:58He had a lot more feminine characteristics than what I'd normally go after.
21:03So what are you like in your relationship? Do you wear the pants in the relationship or do you?
21:07No, I'm fairly evenly panted, yeah. One pant leg each.
21:10I had a really nice time with her and she was a lovely girl, but it just wasn't a romantic
21:15spark.
21:15Yeah. What a lovely meal. She'll tuck this chair and then go.
21:20Would you two like to see each other again?
21:23On a romantic level, it didn't quite click, did it?
21:26No, I mean, no, it was just like, we're just like very different people, which is cool, and that's fine.
21:33Take care, good night. Thank you. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
21:37I'm not going to get home and cry, but it was fun. No, see, that's quite refreshing, isn't it?
21:42Yeah, I mean, I might have a little cry, but... Oh, no.
21:46Just the usual. You cry. Just the usual, my usual evening cry.
21:49What are you going to do? Just go back to the hotel and chill out.
21:52Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, just had a really nice time, didn't you?
21:55Oh, you do.
21:57Thank you. Nice to see you. Yeah, good experience.
22:00No, it really was. I had a nice time. Yeah.
22:12Looking round this restaurant, you've got Charlotte from, like, Google Box over there.
22:16Is it Google Box there?
22:20Yes!
22:21Yeah!
22:23What are you doing professionally, then?
22:24Fine. I've travelled the world doing it. Like, I've been to... I've just come back from Australia.
22:28One of my teammates flew me over for three weeks to coach and train, and the same fella's going to
22:32fly me to San Diego now in June.
22:34I used to be really competitive, cos I used to do ballroom and Latin dancing.
22:42Everyone thinks I'm just a little couch potato, but I actually used to be, like, super, super fit.
22:47I won British ballroom champion when I was only 16. I was in, like, every Latin final from, like, the
22:54age of 12 till I was 21.
22:56Do you want to show me how to do it?
22:58No!
22:59I'll fall over.
23:01So I wore fake tan before fake tan was cool. So I had fake tan on when I was, like,
23:0712.
23:07Oh, we go... like that? No.
23:12See, Fred, you know the Scots. Step back.
23:15Yeah.
23:15You've got to wiggle up.
23:17It's hard for kids to understand why are you this colour when your parents are this colour.
23:22You feel good?
23:23There we are.
23:24Good man, good man.
23:26Class.
23:28Oh, Jesus.
23:29I love you.
23:30What were you talking about there?
23:32When I went to Australia there, my mate that took me over, his mate's mate is basically the new Steve
23:39Irwin, right?
23:40So we went up to, like, the Australian reptile park or something.
23:43I was going to buy an alligator once upon a time, actually.
23:46Oh, yeah. I had a snake.
23:48Snakes are pretty weird.
23:50And two rabbits.
23:51Yeah.
23:52Thumper and Tufty.
23:53We had a cat.
23:55I'm yet to find anyone in Newcastle with actual good banter, lad-wise.
24:00All you want is just someone to, like, look nice and be quiet.
24:04I had goldfish when I was younger.
24:06Everyone has goldfish at Texas.
24:07I've always had dogs.
24:08I've had dogs when I was home.
24:10I've still got two dogs at home, actually.
24:11A Rottweiler and a Bernese Mountain dog.
24:13I had a Labrador.
24:14We had Basil, which was a basset hound.
24:17And then we got Tyson and a Rottweiler.
24:18Then Tyson died, like, of old age.
24:21Then we got Murphy.
24:23Basil died.
24:25Then Murphy jumped the fence in Boxing Day and got hit by a car.
24:29Died.
24:40It was in Brazil, in a place called Recife, that I saw a UFO.
24:46My ex was outside.
24:48He said, there's some weird lights in the sky.
24:51I thought, oh, no, here he goes.
24:54So I went outside, and there, hovering over the sea, was this thing, like you'd never seen before.
25:01So you're convinced there's aliens, eh?
25:03Oh, yeah.
25:04I just want to meet one.
25:12Hello.
25:14He's lovely, and he's very, very handsome, and on paper, he would be amazing, but he just doesn't ask any
25:23questions.
25:24Like, I always thought that I wanted someone super chatty, and then now that I've got someone super chatty, I'm
25:29like, shit, I want someone to listen to me.
25:36I'm good at listening to people, because I think that's number one on a dick.
25:41I'll have some shots.
25:43But, like, I don't want to be in ten years' time sat in silence watching EastEnders with a brew.
25:49That is not how I want my life to be.
25:51I can do a few tricks.
25:52What made you get into magic?
25:54See, me da owned a bar for years, and, like, people used to come into the bar, and they would
25:59teach him tricks.
26:00I need the jokers for this one.
26:02So let's just say the seven of clubs is a farmer, and he's having a party, and these two jokers
26:09are the band.
26:11If I'm bored, like, I look bored, I can't help it.
26:14Or if someone says something, and I'm like, what are you talking about?
26:16My face, I'm like...
26:20So, he rings his mate, the five of clubs, and he said, listen, I'm having a party.
26:26Do you want to come to the party?
26:28He says, I'm getting changed.
26:30Give me ten minutes, and I'll come to your house.
26:33So...
26:39Music-wise, what do you like?
26:41I like tiny temper.
26:43You got me on that one.
26:45I love opera.
26:46I love to go to the opera.
26:48I like to play it in the car when I'm driving.
26:52So, you've been married before?
26:54I have, yeah.
26:55I was, er...
26:56I was with my ex-wife for about 27 years.
26:59Split in about two...
27:01I think it was 2008.
27:03Oh, that's when I split with my ex-husband.
27:05Was it?
27:05And I've got ten grandchildren.
27:08Really sorry about the weight on that.
27:11I just want to say, my dad is the biggest Rolling Stones fan.
27:14You must have had the most amazing life.
27:16I bet you've got so many stories.
27:21People have told me that my old life is intimidating.
27:27Sometimes, when they find out who my ex-husband was,
27:30they can get a bit annoying.
27:33So, I kind of like it when they don't know.
27:37Right, enjoy, guys.
27:38See ya.
27:42My ex-husband, I've got a famous ex-husband.
27:45That's what she means.
27:47A famous ex-husband?
27:48Yes.
27:48Oh, right.
27:49Oh, who was that?
27:50Er, Ronnie Wood.
27:52Oh, you was mad at Ronnie Wood?
27:54Oh, right, yeah.
27:55I like Ronnie, because he's one of the few guys
27:57with a nose as big as mine.
27:59Yeah.
27:59How old was you when you met Ronnie?
28:01Er, 22.
28:02Was your love at first sight?
28:06Er...
28:06I don't remember.
28:07I was fascinated.
28:09I did love him very much.
28:11Yeah.
28:12And I couldn't imagine life without him.
28:16It was at a party and he followed me around everywhere
28:19and showed me an album cover with him on it
28:23and I thought, oh, God, he really likes himself.
28:27He asked me what I did for a living and I said,
28:30I work in Woolworths.
28:32He went, what, are you the manageress?
28:34I said, no, I work on the broken biscuit counter,
28:37main branch in Oxford Street.
28:38Next day he went there with his driver
28:41and waited outside the staff entrance.
28:45Never been there in my life.
28:47Who was it who made the decision to separate?
28:50He did.
28:51Of course he did.
28:53Yeah, he, um, he ran off.
28:57Yeah.
29:00I always went on tour.
29:01You always went on tour with the rhinestones.
29:03He wanted me on tour then.
29:06Yeah.
29:06I actually did a bit of detective work and found him
29:10and he was, walked in and there he was with the other woman
29:14and, er, I went, hi, I thought you'd be here.
29:18And then I realised it was over.
29:22I remember Slash saying that, um,
29:26he doesn't know how he's still alive today
29:28given the drugs and the booze.
29:29I used to hang out a lot with Slash.
29:31It was heart-wrenching.
29:33I mean, it was just, you know, your whole world
29:35suddenly fell apart and my whole world fell apart.
29:39And I, and I thought, Jesus Christ.
29:42Is that serious? Is he serious?
29:46I'd never really been single.
29:48So for me, I think, to be single was a real growing up, kind of.
29:55Being on my own, look after myself.
29:58Yeah, so, and I'd always been looked after before.
30:02Yeah.
30:02Did some growing up, I did.
30:04You look great on it, that's all I can say.
30:05No, thank you.
30:06You look really well.
30:08I think the thing is, when you're in love, like I've been,
30:12everything smells nicer.
30:14All the colours look brighter.
30:16My ex-wife, I always remember the last day at the house,
30:19I was walking down the path.
30:21She said to me, Ernest, and I turned around,
30:23I thought I'd forgotten something.
30:24She said to me, um, for what it's worth,
30:28I'd have done it all over again.
30:29I said, for what it's worth, so would I.
30:34Sister, hi.
30:36Well, he's a very nice guy, you know, he's a, he's Greek.
30:39He looks a bit like Ronnie.
30:43He's got a big nose, he's got black hair.
30:48He's very nice.
30:51Maybe I'll go out and have another drink with him another time,
30:54see what it's like.
30:55It would be lovely to meet somebody to fall in love with again.
30:58It would be absolutely lovely.
31:00Allow me to get your chair.
31:01I didn't get it last time.
31:02I was thinking, what a lack of a gentleman I am.
31:12It's a simple napkin, yeah?
31:15Watch it.
31:16Very carefully.
31:19Ooh.
31:21No, it's simple.
31:23That is actually amazing.
31:27So the farmer said to him, he said,
31:29now, what's the best hand you ever had in poker?
31:32The best hand I ever had was a straight flush.
31:35Four of hearts, five of hearts, six of hearts,
31:37seven of hearts, eight of hearts.
31:39Half man, half amazing, some say.
31:42I don't understand.
31:44That's magic for you.
31:47We had a fantastic time.
31:49I would do that again, ten times over.
31:51You know, when I could see her on a day-to-day basis,
31:53the best she'd ever seen, she's a great lass.
31:56Let's skedaddle.
32:00Hello.
32:01How are you?
32:02So nice to meet you.
32:03I do.
32:04Yeah.
32:05How you good?
32:06Yeah, I'm good.
32:07Good, good.
32:08My voice box is like, Scarlett, where are you?
32:12We miss you.
32:14But, like, I'll get flowing all over the world
32:16to coach different people.
32:17Oh, wow.
32:18I think when he meets the right person,
32:20I think probably then it'll flow,
32:22but I just think we're not right for each other.
32:25Yeah.
32:26Did you have a nice evening?
32:27Yeah.
32:31Yes.
32:32Have a brilliant night.
32:33Okay.
32:34So, are you going to see each other again?
32:36So, I think...
32:37It's awkward.
32:39I think you're very conventionally good-looking,
32:41but I just think maybe you can tell when, like,
32:45you're right for each other, can't you?
32:46Like, there's just, like, something there.
32:48But it's not that I dislike.
32:49No, I'm not.
32:49I don't like we dislike each other at all.
32:51No, I'm not.
32:51Don't walk that quick.
32:53Don't walk that quick.
32:54I have a tip for you.
32:55If you ever go on another date...
32:57Go on.
32:58Maybe let the other person talk.
33:01Right, sorry.
33:02Right.
33:03See you later.
33:03I'll see you, Vagaboo.
33:04Mwah.
33:05See you.
33:05See you later.
33:07But none of us are bad.
33:08Like, it's not like you did anything bad.
33:11We just weren't right for each other, were we?
33:12That's it.
33:13You're talking too much.
33:14I'm not, I'm not.
33:15This is the most I've fucking been allowed to speak.
33:17Shut the fuck up.
33:18Shut up now.
33:19This is my time to speak.
33:24Land of the Magpies, Newcastle, please.
33:26He's as quick as possible.
33:35Good help.
33:36As we say in Greek, yesu.
33:38Yesu.
33:43Hello.
33:44This is Ashley.
33:45And her business partner, Putsy.
33:51Dancer with my dog isn't the coolest thing in the world, is it?
33:54But that's who I am, and my dogs are my life.
33:58Oh, that sounds so sad.
34:01They won Britain's Got Talent in 2012.
34:05I was just your regular 17-year-old girl.
34:08In my A-levels, and then I went on BGT and my life completely changed.
34:15After four years in Putsy's shadow, she wants to find a human companion.
34:21Hey, how are you?
34:22Hello. I'm good, thank you.
34:23Good, but where is Putsy?
34:24He's not here.
34:25Oh.
34:25He's in bed.
34:27Haven't really had many boyfriends.
34:29No.
34:30After I won, my parents said to me, be cautious and be careful.
34:34Don't date guys now, focus on your work.
34:37And for four years, that is what I've done.
34:40So, work-wise, I'm, like, up here.
34:42Relationships are down there.
34:45Hello.
34:46You all right?
34:47Um, yeah, nervous, but excited, yeah.
34:51I do see, like, all my friends with, like, people and seeing them, like, with someone.
34:56And I'm like, yeah, I would quite like that.
34:59So half of me is like, yeah, I want that.
35:00And then half of me is like, oh, no, just focus on my job.
35:03It's a lot easier.
35:04Because I know what I'm doing then.
35:10Tasked with training Ashley in the ways of love is 24-year-old dog lover, Elliot.
35:16Hello, how are you?
35:17Hello, good, how are you doing?
35:18You okay?
35:19Nice to meet you.
35:20If we're ever walking down the street and there's a dog,
35:23I'm always the guy that kind of goes over to it and just starts petting it.
35:26And they have to come, like, look around and, come, Elliot, we're going now.
35:30Let's leave the dog behind.
35:32Yeah, of course.
35:33You can't really walk a cat, can you?
35:35But you can walk a dog.
35:36So you can meet people with dogs.
35:39Hi.
35:40Hi, how are you doing?
35:40Hello, Bob.
35:41Nice to meet you.
35:42Nice to meet you.
35:45Hi, I'm Ashley.
35:46I'm Elliot.
35:46Nice to meet you.
35:47Hi, nice to meet you.
35:48What have you done?
35:50I've got to be in the club hand at the moment.
35:52I went to a tomato throwing festival in Spain.
35:55Yeah, quite normal.
35:56And then I was play fighting with my friend and broke it.
35:58Oh, my God.
36:00They took bone from here and then put it in here.
36:05I can't really be drinking at the moment because I'm on painkillers, but we'll see.
36:10I just hope my dates are for babysitting me for, like, a night.
36:14So what do you do?
36:16Um, so I...
36:18I'm an entertainer, but I dance with my dog.
36:20Oh, cool.
36:21That's interesting.
36:22So, yeah.
36:23I won Britain's Got Talent, like, four years ago.
36:24Did you actually?
36:25Four years ago.
36:25Amazing.
36:27What do you do?
36:28I work for a software company in sales.
36:30Um, so they're not exactly dancing with dogs, but...
36:34In a championship final, the most nervous that I get is literally when I get on that start line, you
36:39have to go for it.
36:42I'm so sorry.
36:43You have to follow me?
36:44Yeah.
36:45Sometimes it doesn't go right, but there's nothing I can do about my nerves.
36:49So I've literally just got to get on with it and try my best and run as fast as I
36:52can.
36:52I was so nervous.
36:54Like, I've never been on a blind date before.
36:56Really?
36:56Yeah.
36:57So you want to take tramadol?
36:58It kind of...
36:59It affects that.
37:00Yeah.
37:02It really helps with the nerves.
37:05I'm fine.
37:06Like, you're totally chilled right now.
37:07I'm fine.
37:08Where am I?
37:22Have you heard of a website called BorrowMyDoggie?
37:25No.
37:26It's for people who have dogs and they have, like, really strenuous jobs, like nine to five, and they need
37:32something to look after it.
37:33Never heard of that.
37:34And then people who like dogs, like me, but you can't have a dog, they sign up and so they
37:38can, like, take them out for weekends and stuff.
37:40Have you signed up to this?
37:41Yeah.
37:41So I signed up to it last year.
37:43It came out.
37:43Wow.
37:44I do seriously want to get a dog.
37:46Well, I could give it to you to train it for a bit and then just hand it back over
37:49to you.
37:50Perfect.
37:51We've got the right solution right now.
37:52Come back singing and dancing.
37:54I love my dog but no-one knows my last name because they all think my last name is Pudsy
37:58and my middle name is And.
38:01Well, my dogs don't sing yet.
38:03So...
38:04I want to look at him now, actually.
38:05Can I Google him?
38:06Will he come up?
38:08Oh, here he is.
38:09I want to watch a video of him.
38:12Sorry about this.
38:13I'm really interested now.
38:17When I am with Pudsy, I hear, like, Pudsy, Pudsy, Pudsy, Pudsy, Pudsy.
38:20I'd like a guy to, like, ask about me and a little bit more and what I like, what I
38:25don't like and just ask questions.
38:26Oh, my God.
38:28What?
38:29Pudsy.
38:30Is he dancing?
38:31Yeah.
38:32I was not expecting this.
38:33What were you expecting?
38:35I don't know.
38:36This is so much better.
38:39Whoa!
38:41I've just experienced Pudsy.
38:43I've never seen this.
38:44He's only just watching him now.
38:45God, I wish I could turn back time and be as excited as you are now.
38:48This is mental.
38:50Look at him going.
38:51He's such a jumper.
38:53I didn't know dogs could jump that high.
38:56Only Pudsy, mate.
38:57Pudsy can.
39:05So, what about you?
39:07What was your love life?
39:08I was on a dating site.
39:11I went on plenty of fish.
39:12Plenty of fish in the sea?
39:14I was shocked.
39:15It was awful.
39:16I didn't realise women could talk like that.
39:18Oh, Jesus.
39:19I mean, I'm not who I was 20 years ago, you know, any more than any of us are.
39:24I mean, I still feel the same as what I've always felt about myself all my life.
39:30I want a heartening crime.
39:32Somebody that's got your back and you've got their back and you're in it together and,
39:38yeah, it just makes you feel more secure.
39:42You know, my dad went very fast.
39:45He was actually cracking up laughing because my ex and Jimmy White had stayed up all night
39:52and went absolutely out their brains and they were being really silly and he started laughing
39:56and laughing and laughing.
39:58I had a massive heart attack and he was gone.
40:01Now I look back, I think, you know what?
40:03He didn't suffer.
40:04He was, I'm out of here.
40:06Boom, gone.
40:07He'd love to go like that.
40:09Or on the job.
40:10On the job, yeah.
40:11Sounds like the ultimate way to go, isn't it?
40:13It might take him a week or two to get a smile off his face.
40:15Coming and going at the same time.
40:17That's it.
40:21When you first saw him, what did you think?
40:24Oh, Jesus Christ, he looks like my ex-husband.
40:26Another version of Ronnie.
40:30Oh, it's tacky old cash on the phone.
40:33Oh, we love cash, yeah.
40:34Sorry.
40:35Bit of a Delbo on the white.
40:36Oh, yeah.
40:37I've no idea if he fancied me or not.
40:40Absolutely no idea.
40:41Thank you very much.
40:43Thank you very much.
40:44She's very classy looking.
40:45You know, she...
40:46Nothing's overdone with her.
40:48All the make-up's nice and her hair's done beautifully.
40:51Considering she's had the lifestyle she's had, she's just so down to earth.
40:56She's like...
40:57She could be a girl that works in a supermarket, can't they?
41:01Good night.
41:01All right.
41:01Thank you ever so much.
41:02God bless.
41:03See you.
41:03Bye.
41:04At least it stopped raining.
41:06Hi.
41:07Good.
41:11I haven't seen you before, haven't I?
41:13Yeah.
41:14It did.
41:15It was a lovely evening, yeah.
41:17Seriously, it was.
41:17And you're very good company.
41:19Yeah, so are you.
41:20It was great.
41:20So would you like to see each other again?
41:24Yeah.
41:24I've got to be a man.
41:25I've got to be a bit authoritative.
41:26Having done that in the Mediterranean, yeah, and get stuck.
41:28I'd like a lovely take to the opera.
41:30Would you like to go to the opera?
41:31Yeah.
41:31I'd like to go to the opera.
41:32Is there any particular opera you'd like to see?
41:34No, I don't mind.
41:35Any opera's fine with me.
41:37Something that's not too tragic, that's romantic.
41:42Ahhhh.
41:45And I'll take you to an Italian restaurant as well.
41:47No, Greek.
41:48Greek.
41:49Yes.
41:49I love this girl.
41:49Could you take us to Soho, please?
41:52Yeah.
41:54Still looks as pretty.
41:56Oh, thank you.
41:59Have a nightcap.
42:00Let's go and have a nightcap.
42:01Yee-haw!
42:07Do you reckon you could train a dog to dance?
42:09I can't even train myself to dance, so no.
42:11I've got no chance.
42:16So what's, like, the worst date you've ever been on?
42:19I don't really, I don't really, like, I'd rather be on that main, like, proper dates where, like, you kind
42:23of sit down and talk.
42:25Like, I kind of think dinner dates on the first date can be quite awkward because there's so much pressure.
42:30Yeah.
42:31There's always that if you don't know them very well and you haven't got that much in common and...
42:36Yeah.
42:43Wait, what's Puxy doing tonight, more importantly?
42:46In bed?
42:47Is he?
42:47Well, here, with you, or back at home?
42:49No, he's back at home.
42:50Are your parents looking after him?
42:52Yeah.
42:56You ever had one of these biscuits?
42:59No!
43:01Definitely not.
43:02Definitely not.
43:03Just asking.
43:14There's some silent parts, but I think that's sort of expected, you know, meeting someone for the first time.
43:21Shall we get the bill?
43:23Yeah.
43:24That sounds good.
43:26That sounds attaching.
43:32I just feel like the whole night we talked about dogs.
43:37Which is great.
43:38We have something in common, that we both love dogs.
43:40But, yeah, we could have asked different questions or could have found something else we were interested in rather than
43:47just dogs.
43:49And mine's the big denim one.
43:51It's the only jacket big enough I can put my hand through it.
44:05Cheers. Thank you. Have a good night.
44:07Do you want to see each other again?
44:10I felt so bad saying this.
44:12Like, you're lovely.
44:13Yeah.
44:14You're lovely.
44:15But there was, for me, there was just nothing.
44:20It was very dog heavy.
44:21It was a very dog heavy day.
44:23Yeah.
44:24Too much dog.
44:25We've all been programmed to expect a Hollywood happy ending to our story.
44:30Good luck with everything.
44:31Thanks.
44:32Bye.
44:32We all want the hero and the heroine to drive off into the sunset.
44:37But life is far more complicated than that.
44:40You write your own ending.
44:48Good night.
44:49Thank you so much.
44:50Good night.
44:53Good night.
44:55Oh, I love it.
44:57Yay!
44:58Go Pudsy!
44:59Do you have Britain's got talent?
45:00No, France's got talent.
45:01Do you do have France's got talent?
45:02Yeah.
45:02Of course.
45:03What a boring show that must be.
45:07It's just people because they're cynical with their arms crossed.
45:10Yes.
45:23It's just people being cynical with their arms crossed.
45:26Yes.
45:51Next time in the First Dates restaurant.
45:55I'm way more scared going on a date than I am going out in front of a crowd.
45:59Are you from the Vamps?
46:00I am, yeah, yeah.
46:01You'll never guess who I'm on a date with right now.
46:05This is actually my first time at a rodeo.
46:07Do you have Irish in you?
46:08No, I know what I've thought.
46:10Do you want some?
46:11Wow.
46:12No, this is my first date in ten years.
46:14Are you joking?
46:15Jesus Christ.