00:00Right then Joe, we know there's lots of written rules in golf that people adhere to, but there's
00:03lots of unwritten etiquette rules that I think we've seen broken quite a lot of times. You're
00:08right, there's a lot of faux pas, even golfing crimes I would consider committed out on a golf
00:13course sometimes. Yeah, so we put our heads together and came up with nine that we think
00:16are the biggest and the most often committed. Yes, and we've acted them out. We have. I'm
00:21playing the sort of well-educated, good etiquette golfer, and you're playing numbnuts. I'm playing
00:26a buffoon. You're absolutely right, but if you're watching BAFTA, call us.
00:33In no particular order Joe, we're starting with talking during someone's backswing or even talking
00:37during someone's setup. Yeah, it's just a little bit inconsiderate. It's funny with golf because
00:42sometimes you get constant noise so you might hear it now. We've got greenkeepers mowing,
00:46we went to live the other day, there was music playing. When that happens it's not a problem,
00:50but you're playing silence most of the time and all of a sudden if that silence is just
00:53interrupted with a whisper or something, it is brutal. Don't do it, don't do it. Don't try
00:57not to whisper to your playing partner, definitely don't pick up the phone, numbnuts, and just try
01:01and keep quiet during the swing. Next one we've got, and this is one of my particular bugbears,
01:08leaving a bunker unraked. It's one of the most inconsiderate things you can do on the golf course.
01:13You tell me why. This is just impolite. It's impolite to your playing partners, to people coming
01:17behind you who may end up in it, to the greenkeepers who look so studiously after the bunkers for you,
01:22and it's just a mess. It affects people's games and it's basic decency and common sense.
01:28And bunkers are hard enough, and a decent lie, without being in someone's footprint. Rake your bunkers please.
01:36Next up Joe, not shouting four as your ball heads toward what might be people, houses, who knows. Just
01:41shout four. Yeah, just shout four. It's not only inconsiderate, it is downright dangerous. These
01:46little golf balls at the speed they're travelling are like bullets. We've seen some really serious incidents
01:51on the PGA Tour of people getting hurt, and some of those players who don't shout on the PGA Tour
01:55bother me. Yeah.
01:56Don't be one of those. If you see your ball heading down the wrong fairway or heading to
01:59anyone on the golf course, give them a nice loud shout four and warn them.
02:03And even if you don't, if it's off target, give it a big shout.
02:06Just in case. You're covered then. Just in case.
02:07Always shout four.
02:11Right, for the next one, we're here on the putting green. I think just about everyone who's ever played
02:16should know, but I've played with some who don't, you should never walk over someone's line when
02:21they're putting. Yeah, because if you've got big feet like you, or particularly big spikes on,
02:25and you walk on someone's line, it could affect their putt, couldn't it? Correct.
02:28It's rude, again, inconsiderate. So when you're doing it, just watch out for people's lines,
02:32maybe even ask, am I okay to stand there? It's okay to ask these sort of things,
02:36and don't ruin someone's putt. You can stop it from going in the hole.
02:39Furthermore, through lines. Did you ever think about through lines?
02:41What's a through line?
02:42Through line is a lot of stuff that's spoken about on tour.
02:44If you're putting from there, and you're coming this way, and I go and collect my ball out the
02:47hole this way, if someone misses the putt from there, and then has to putt through the spikes,
02:52it's always better to think about someone's through line as well.
02:54Hey. Just give that some thought.
02:55Hey, that's why we pay you the big bucks.
03:00Next up, Joe, assuming a putt is given in match play, I have fallen foul of this.
03:04Yeah, it's tricky ground though, isn't it? You know when you've got it into gimme range,
03:08and you know it's probably going to be conceded, but you have to wait to hear that.
03:12If you don't, and you just pick your ball up assuming it's been conceded,
03:15if you're playing against someone particularly vindictive,
03:20they can claim the hole. Loss of hole, you pick the ball up, you're out of the hole,
03:23and you're done.
03:24That's it, and my circle of friendship is very, very small.
03:26So I've heard.
03:30The next golfing crime I want to talk about is leaving your bag on the wrong side of the green,
03:36and general time waiting on the green.
03:38General faffing.
03:39Faffing would be fair.
03:40Bumbling, faffage.
03:41Bumbling, as you might be watching right now, my bumbling.
03:44It's just not good for pace of play, it's not good for your game,
03:47it's not good for anyone's game around you. What can you do to sort that out?
03:50Well, if you've got people behind you, that's very annoying. Just think, right,
03:53as you get to the green, where's the next tee? Let me leave my bag in a position between the
03:57flag
03:57and the tee, so when I'm done, I pick my ball out, I wander over to my bag, which is
04:02en route to the
04:02tee, do your scorecard over there, the people behind you can play, and they're not falling asleep
04:06set on their bags. It's considerate to everyone else, and it'll actually be beneficial for your game,
04:10because you'll take less steps and you'll be less tired. Plan it well, play quickly, and play well.
04:18Next up, Joe, less of a crime than some of them, but something I think you should avoid doing is
04:21early walking a putt that you think is going in, you're giving it the big I am, and then it
04:24doesn't
04:24go in. It's a bad look, isn't it? Actually, we played golf racing with a friend of yours, shout out
04:28Reece, and I was early walking a couple, and they went in, and he still said that was a bad
04:33look.
04:33He's right though, I think he's right. He is right, but it's a particularly bad look when they miss as
04:37well. Yeah. Another thing that you don't want to do, if you're the guy on the other side of the
04:40hole,
04:41early celebrating someone else's putt and calling it before it goes in, that can backfire a lot and
04:46isn't a good look. If someone says to me, oh great putt, or oh that's in, oh that's pure, and
04:50it doesn't go in,
04:51or really early, and it doesn't go in, I'm like do not stop talking to my golf balls. Do you
04:55think
04:55it's affected your ball? Absolutely. Of course it has, it has to. Just don't talk to my golf balls,
04:59don't talk to your playing partner's golf balls, and don't early walk that putt. Just wait for it to go
05:04in.
05:08Recent rule changes have affected this next one I'm going to mention. So you used to have five minutes
05:12to find your ball, now you've only got three, so it's become more imperative than ever not to assume
05:16you're just going to find your golf ball once you've hit it into the rubbish, isn't it? Yeah, I see
05:20people
05:20playing on somewhere they know really well where they play every week, and they're like that's
05:23fine over there. I know that. I know that bit, I've been there all the time, and it might take
05:26a different bounce, it might hit something, you might not find it. If you don't then find it,
05:30you've got to trawl your way back to the tee, you're taking penalty shots, you're taking up more time,
05:35so just always hit a provisional if you lose sight of the ball, or even if you have a hint
05:39of doubt that
05:40you might not find it. The 10 seconds it takes to hit a provisional could save you 10 minutes of
05:44traipsing back and holding everyone up. And you get another swing, another shot, get that bad
05:49shot out of your head. That's a little sort of bonus to it, but yeah, always hit a provisional,
05:52speed things up, and that's that's that.
05:59Lastly, Joe, this falls into the category of early chirping a putt or talking to someone's golf
06:04ball is letting them know they've got a good score going. Well, you're playing well, aren't you,
06:07mate? It's horrible. Yeah, it's just wrong on so many levels. If I'm playing well and I'm on for a
06:12really good score, trust me, I know. I don't need you to tell me, I know, and I'm already worried
06:19about it, so I don't need the additional pressure. Keep it to yourself, admire quietly, and let them
06:25get on with it. You can talk about it after the round, you know what I mean? Just focus on
06:29your own
06:29gosh darn game, and we can talk about how well I've played later, so yeah, none of that sort of,
06:35well, you're doing all right, aren't you, mate? Yeah, absolutely not. That's not bad, Joe. It's a nice
06:39little list, that, of things to not do on the golf course. Take it on board. We want to hear
06:43if
06:43you've got any that we may have missed out, which of the ones that we mentioned is the most
06:48biggest crime, would have the biggest sentence in this sort of golf jail, golf court. Wow, you're
06:53taking it there. Yeah, I have taken it there. Let us know any others that we've missed out. Hope you
06:56enjoyed this video, our acting. Well done, numbnuts. Yes, thank you very much. Thank you very much. See you next
07:02time.
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