00:00You say you want a good guy, stable, loyal, respectful.
00:09But the moment he shows up, you feel bored.
00:13And the moment a toxic guy walks in confident, unpredictable, a little dangerous your heart starts racing.
00:21Let's stop lying to ourselves and talk about why that happens.
00:25You don't fall for toxic men because you're stupid.
00:28You fall for them because your brain is addicted to intensity.
00:33Chaos feels like chemistry.
00:37Uncertainty feels like passion.
00:39When he texts you randomly at 2am, disappears for two days, then comes back with just enough charm to pull
00:47you in.
00:47Your brain releases dopamine.
00:49It's the same reward system that gets hooked on gambling.
00:54You are not in love.
00:56You are in withdrawal.
00:58And the good guy.
01:01He texts consistently.
01:03He shows up on time.
01:05He communicates clearly.
01:08No guessing games.
01:10No emotional rollercoaster.
01:13Your nervous system doesn't spike.
01:15So you label it boring.
01:17But here's the brutal truth.
01:19You're confusing peace with a lack of attraction.
01:23You've trained your heart to respond to stress, not stability.
01:27If you grew up chasing validation, trying to earn love, proving your worth, then toxic men feel familiar.
01:35They make you work for attention.
01:37And when you finally get a crumb of it, it feels like you won something.
01:42But you didn't win.
01:45You just got manipulated.
01:47You say you want someone who treats you right.
01:50But when someone actually does, you start overthinking.
01:56Is he too nice?
01:58Is there a spark?
02:00Let me translate that for you.
02:02There's no chaos.
02:04And without chaos, you don't know who you are in the relationship.
02:09You don't have to fight.
02:11You don't have to chase.
02:12You just have to receive.
02:15And that feels uncomfortable.
02:18Toxic men are confident.
02:20Yes.
02:21But it's often confident without empathy.
02:25They know how to push emotional buttons.
02:27They keep you slightly insecure.
02:30So you keep investing.
02:32The good guy doesn't play that game.
02:35He gives reassurance.
02:37He gives clarity.
02:39And clarity doesn't give you butterflies.
02:41It gives you safety.
02:44Here's the part you won't like.
02:46Until you heal your need for drama,
02:49you will keep calling red flags chemistry and calling green flags boring.
02:55You will ignore the man who could build a life with you
02:58and run toward the one who makes your heart race,
03:02but your mind anxious.
03:03Attraction isn't just about who he is.
03:06It's about what you're used to.
03:08If you're used to instability,
03:11stability feels wrong.
03:12If you're used to emotional highs and lows,
03:16consistency feels flat.
03:18But growth feels uncomfortable at first,
03:21so deuce,
03:21you don't need a man who makes you question your worth.
03:24You need one who makes you question why you ever settled for less.
03:29But that only happens when you stop romanticizing toxicity
03:32and start respecting consistency.
03:35So next time you feel that intense spark with a guy who barely gives you effort,
03:40pause.
03:42Ask yourself,
03:44Is this love?
03:46Or is this just my old patterns calling me home?
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