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00:00Booty bounce! Booty bounce!
00:02Take three couples who love to entertain.
00:04Hold on!
00:05There we go.
00:06Thank you very much.
00:07Ask each pair to throw a dinner party.
00:09I just hope she never makes it again.
00:11Slightly on fire over here.
00:13And get them to score each other in secret.
00:15Party!
00:16Standing there with your hands on your hips doesn't really help.
00:19Today there's dodgy dancing.
00:21Been with them 29 years, I've never seen a move like that before.
00:25And dueling divas.
00:28I couldn't let Jane steal the show.
00:31As each couple battle it out to win a £1,000 prize.
00:34Just take me aback.
00:37I am doing it.
00:38You're going to Blackfield.
00:45Today on Couples Come Dine With Me.
00:47We're in Greater Manchester,
00:49where partners have $92,000 a year about what to have for their tea.
00:53But hoping they've already agreed on what they're having,
00:56it's the first of today's three couples,
00:5827-year-old Martin and his partner, 23-year-old Russell.
01:01Very Joan Collins, isn't it?
01:02It's hideous.
01:03I'd say that I'm very loud and very confident and very self-assured,
01:07whereas Russell is perhaps not so much.
01:09Only because I don't have a chance to be,
01:10because you're too loud all the time.
01:13Martin does love to be sent to the stage,
01:16but I think a lot of times I want to be sent to the stage as well.
01:20I just don't let him have the centre stage.
01:24Well, I don't need loud outfits to be sent to the stage.
01:27I'm fabulous enough.
01:29And tonight, Martin and Russell will be making sure
01:31their menu has added sparkle, too.
01:33We're hoping that our party's going to be fun,
01:35glitzy and fabulous, just like us.
01:37Absolutely.
01:38It's going to be a feast fit for a king.
01:41Or two queens, at least.
01:43First course in the spotlight is the main,
01:46bellissimo beef with magical mash.
01:48Hopefully there's a nice gravy with it.
01:51I always say gravy makes the meal, so...
01:53Yeah.
01:54But...
01:55And a bit of veg.
01:56Go for a bit of veg.
01:57Yeah, not mentioning any veg.
01:58Meet our second couple,
02:0048-year-old housewife Jane and her husband,
02:0353-year-old Colin.
02:04They've been together for 29 years.
02:06Oh, Colin, it's the series six.
02:08Never.
02:10This is the one we've been wanting.
02:11So it is.
02:11I like to think I'm the boss of the house,
02:14being the man of the house.
02:15But you're not.
02:17What's Skylight?
02:18Jane reckons she's in charge,
02:19and that Colin is the strong silent type.
02:22Oh, look.
02:23The flushing loom.
02:25Unbelievable.
02:26Good conversation-goers, aren't we?
02:28Keep the conversation going.
02:30Yes, yes.
02:30Well, I do.
02:32You're doing a good job here, Colin.
02:35So it's me that keeps the conversation going.
02:36It's me that's the life and soul of the party.
02:39It's me that does the entertaining.
02:40He just sits there like Stan Laurel.
02:43Oh, I can't get a word in it, please.
02:45Oh, bless him.
02:46Back in the kitchen and Russell's browning the beef.
02:49Come on, get stuck in, Russell.
02:50You're only catering for six.
02:52Could do with an industrial-sized spade.
02:54Or a little less meat.
02:57To make the gravy, Russell pours in beef stock
03:00to the Italian red wine marinade.
03:01Oh, yeah, cool.
03:03Adds tomato puree and a squirt of Marmite.
03:06Russell's secret ingredient that he puts in everything,
03:09and I hate it.
03:10I don't think fine restaurants in Italy
03:12would be putting this in their beef.
03:14That's all I'm going to say, but I do it to keep him happy.
03:16You're all hot.
03:17Once browned, the beef goes into the slow cooker
03:19along with the thickened red wine gravy,
03:21and it's left to simmer for the rest of the day.
03:23So, the beauty of this is that that's done now,
03:26and we can just leave that,
03:27and there's no stress involved is there.
03:28We can concentrate on our other courses now.
03:30Why don't you say that now?
03:32Next up for Martin and Russell is their starter,
03:35sweet potato and red pepper soup.
03:36Soup.
03:38Bit boring.
03:39For a dinner party.
03:42Completing today's line-up,
03:43a party-loving duo, 27-year-old Rachel
03:45and boyfriend, 41-year-old Dave.
03:48We're definitely partiers.
03:51When I met Dave, I fell in love with his dancing.
03:54He can throw some shapes.
03:56Oh, look, a polygon!
03:58There it is.
04:01Oh, God.
04:02Right, guys, I've got one job for you.
04:04One job.
04:05Put the duvet.
04:07One thing Rachel loves more than Dave's dodgy dancing
04:10is the sound of her own voice.
04:12I talk too much.
04:14He really hates that I talk so much.
04:16Not hate, you don't mind it,
04:18but when it's Sunday and he just wants to sit on the couch
04:21and watch the TV and I'm just...
04:23Anyway, moving on.
04:24Back with the boys and it's all go with the starter.
04:27I love making homemade soup because you don't go by rules,
04:31just throw anything in.
04:33I love making soup because I can break the rules.
04:37Martin, you chop these because, you know, I'm terrified.
04:39Cut my finger off.
04:41Yes, sir.
04:42I need you tonight not to be too in your face and too loud,
04:45to be able to rein it in a bit, at least for tonight.
04:47That's you told Martin.
04:49The sweet potato and peppers are cooked in vegetable stock
04:52with onions and a cheeky little pinch of paprika and chilli.
04:55Well done.
04:58Veg cooked, it's blended to remove the lumps.
05:00Nice, isn't it?
05:02Oh, that's the best you've done it.
05:03Good.
05:04Jolly good.
05:05Just dessert to go and Russell's in charge.
05:07Diva truffles.
05:09I've never had truffles, have you?
05:10No.
05:12I think truffles is an easy chocolate dessert.
05:16It's been done a thousand times, I think.
05:19And now a thousand and one.
05:20Yeah.
05:21First job for Russell, chop up the chocolate.
05:24I'm sorry, I'm not going to sit here and watch you do that.
05:27I'll do it.
05:29If I left it up to Russell, he'd be like this.
05:31He'd go...
05:32Well, how many ways are there to cut chocolate?
05:34Do it like that, so that you do loads at once, do you know?
05:37Excuse me.
05:38While Russell sulks, Martin takes over, adding butter and cocoa powder.
05:42Which basically keeps the truffles solid and stops them from being gooey.
05:47Next, Martin pours hot cream and caster sugar over the chocolate mixture
05:50and whisks until smooth and shiny.
05:55We've put the mixture in the freezer and we just leave that in for sort of like
05:57two, three hours and it will solidify so that you can then roll it into truffle shapes.
06:02When set, the truffles will be dipped in melted chocolate.
06:05Cut through all the fancy words.
06:07That's, erm...
06:07It's soup, beef, dollop and mash and a chocolate.
06:13It's a safe menu, I think.
06:15Yeah, it's very safe.
06:16And it's not a winning menu?
06:18No.
06:19Prep complete, there's just enough time for the host to get their faces on.
06:23And for that matter, give them off again.
06:25As their first guests have arrived, caravan enthusiasts Jane and Colin.
06:29Hi, I'm Jane.
06:31Hi.
06:31Hi, Colin.
06:32Colin.
06:32Hi, nice to meet you.
06:33Do you want to come through?
06:35Cheers.
06:36Now you guys enjoy the champers and I'll go fetch Martin.
06:40Forward to it.
06:42It's a big enough cup for you, Colin.
06:43For your mouth.
06:46Yours.
06:47Oh, thanks.
06:47Touché, Colin!
06:48So, they're a middle-aged couple.
06:51She's chattier than he is.
06:53Are we going to love her?
06:54Is she amazing?
06:55I think she has the potential to be amazing, yeah.
06:57Hi!
06:58What's your name?
06:59Jane.
07:00Jane.
07:01Nice to meet you.
07:01Colin.
07:02I'm Martin, nice to meet you.
07:03Lovely.
07:04Myself and Russell get on quite well with women that are slightly older than us.
07:08We have a lot of female friends of that age.
07:10I like it that they're pleased they've got an older woman.
07:14Thanks very much, boys.
07:16But there you go.
07:17Next in, it's Rachel and Dave.
07:19Hi!
07:20Nice to meet you.
07:21My name's Russell.
07:23Hi.
07:23Rachel.
07:24Nice to meet you.
07:25What's your name, sorry?
07:25Dave, are you OK?
07:27I'm Martin.
07:28Dave, nice to meet you.
07:30Hi.
07:30Hi, Martin.
07:31I'm Rachel.
07:31Nice to meet you.
07:32You look lovely.
07:33Thank you, darling.
07:34They like older women.
07:37Well, here's to a good evening and a wonderful week.
07:40Cheers.
07:42Coming up.
07:43We just spent a year talking about Coronation Street.
07:45Soap secrets.
07:47And I didn't do anything.
07:50I think the love of Coronation Street should be reindeer.
07:54I get it, but...
07:57And cosmetic clangers.
07:58If I could change one thing about you, perhaps a boob job?
08:02That's brave Colin to say that.
08:03I would not want to be Colin right now.
08:06No.
08:17It's night one in Greater Manchester where three couples are competing to throw the best dinner
08:21party.
08:23Tonight's hosts, Martin and Russell, are hoping their fabulous fare will impress their rivals
08:27and bag them a grand.
08:30So, while they crack on with the starter, Rachel and Dave stumble across the boys' collection
08:34of showbiz selfies.
08:36Martin and Russell with the whole Coronation Street cast.
08:40Are they stalkers?
08:41Not stalkers.
08:55Nice lads.
08:56Yes.
08:56Back in the living room, Jane is halfway through her list of do's and don'ts for Colin.
09:01Remember, don't eat your food too fast.
09:03Take it slowly.
09:04Right.
09:05And join in with the conversation.
09:06Okay.
09:06Don't just keep...
09:08Don't be just a yes man.
09:10No.
09:11No man.
09:12No man.
09:13And ask them questions as well in the conversation.
09:15Good morning.
09:16Okay.
09:16Did you get all that, Colin?
09:19Meanwhile, Russell pours the soup into shop-bought cobs.
09:23What?
09:23Just be a little bit faster, shall I?
09:25Oh.
09:26Well done, Martin.
09:27Sorry.
09:28Sugar.
09:28Here it is, sweet potato and red pepper soup in a cob.
09:33Enjoy.
09:34Thanks, guys.
09:37It's really thick.
09:38It's not all watery.
09:40You can taste what it is.
09:43I'm excited.
09:44I like my bread.
09:45You do.
09:46Not allowed, do we?
09:47Not allowed normally.
09:48Not allowed normally.
09:49Not allowed at home.
09:49No, it's fantastic.
09:50Not allowed bread at home.
09:52Why's that?
09:53Well, we do have it occasionally, but we just try to cut it out.
09:56I got quite excited over that.
09:57You got your bread, didn't you?
09:58I got my bread.
09:59His wife denising bread.
10:01That's not right, is it?
10:02So, I'm guessing Jane wears the trousers then in this relationship.
10:06How do you guess that?
10:09Slightly.
10:10Slightly.
10:11I don't wear the trousers.
10:12Slightly more than me.
10:12It's just I'm the boss.
10:14Everyone eat the soup, apart from Jane.
10:17Jane.
10:18I'm not a soup lover.
10:20It spoils my main course.
10:22You know, I find a soup to be too heavy for a starter.
10:26Back at the table, first dates are on the agenda.
10:29How long have you two been together?
10:31I always get it wrong.
10:32I always say 28 but...
10:3429.
10:3529.
10:3529 years.
10:36Wow.
10:36How did you meet?
10:37Well, we actually met on Halloween night.
10:40I was working behind a bar and I went as an accident with blood and gashes and bruises everywhere.
10:48Yeah, it was pretty much love at first sight.
10:51Wow.
10:52That's my kind of girl.
10:54All bruised up and battered, yeah.
10:57They met when she was dressed as an accident.
11:03It's really funny when you think about it, isn't it?
11:08It's not that funny.
11:10So, what about you guys?
11:11How did you meet?
11:12Two years ago, met at a party.
11:13Right.
11:15And, erm...
11:15Yeah, sexy girl.
11:17Yeah.
11:18I can't believe she said that.
11:21Striking, very striking.
11:22I'm a woman.
11:22She is sexy.
11:23I'll give her that as well, yeah.
11:25So, when's the wedding bells?
11:2732nd of never.
11:28LAUGHTER
11:30Then you're getting married.
11:31Then you're having the kids.
11:33You mind your own business.
11:34Ooh, it's a nerve, Dave.
11:37With the soup going down well, it's on with the main.
11:41Erm...
11:42Russell forgot to put the vegetables in.
11:44Yes, Russell forgot.
11:46It won't take long.
11:47Yeah.
11:48Doing well there, lads.
11:49While the carrots cook, it's on to the magical mash.
11:52That mash ain't magical.
11:54Well, let's make it magical.
11:55Do something.
11:55Make it magical.
11:56Right, show a bit of mustard in.
11:58Just a teeny bit more butter, and I think we're there.
12:01Do you know what?
12:02I don't care how that tastes.
12:03They're having it.
12:04I think they heard that.
12:06Here it is, bellissimo beef with a magical mash.
12:09OK, guys.
12:11Lovely.
12:11Lovely.
12:14I love meat.
12:16I'm a massive meat eater, so it's absolutely beautiful.
12:20The beef just melted in your mouth, didn't it?
12:22It was lovely.
12:23But it did lack a little bit of flavour.
12:24I had to add salt, which I don't like doing at the table.
12:27I like to have the flavours already perfected, really.
12:31Jane's got a mouthful, Colin.
12:32Go on, have a go at conversation.
12:34I love my sprouts.
12:35That's the main one.
12:37I love sprouts.
12:37They get such a bad press, don't they?
12:39He does talk to his veg, really.
12:43Especially sprouts.
12:43I mean, you know, he'll say, like, are you done yet?
12:46Are you done enough yet?
12:47Don't you?
12:47Yeah.
12:48Sprouts are my favourite, really.
12:49I do love sprouts.
12:52Very much.
12:53He's besotted by sprouts.
12:55It's a healthy thing.
12:57Keeps me regular.
12:58Well done, Colin.
12:59Successful sprout chat.
13:00Keep it up.
13:01He's fixated on sprouts.
13:02He talks to sprouts.
13:04He talks to sprouts.
13:05You like ugly ones, don't you?
13:06I like ugly ones.
13:07They're...
13:08Rejects?
13:08They're my carrots.
13:09Oh, that's your carrots?
13:10The ugly ones.
13:11I'd get him a therapist, really.
13:14So, if you were a vegetable, you would be a sprout?
13:18Evidently, because we haven't been speaking about them
13:20for about half an hour.
13:23And it's funny, we've never been to Brussels.
13:30So, guys, we had a quick look round your bedroom before
13:32and we stumbled across some amazing pictures of yous with celebs.
13:37When we met on Twitter, that's how we met.
13:39We just spent a year talking about Coronation Street pretty much.
13:42Isn't it?
13:44Martin, who's your favourite character?
13:46Without a shadow of a doubt, Deirdre.
13:49Ken!
13:49I didn't do anything!
13:51Oh!
13:53You can tell that Martin's, you know, he's a showman.
13:58And Russell sort of sits quietly in the background, a lot going on.
14:02So, yeah, they work great together.
14:04I actually have her name tattooed on my uncle.
14:07No!
14:08I've got Ken on mine.
14:11Oh, no.
14:12That's a good one.
14:14Well done, guys!
14:15Don't think of getting one of Brussels sprouts, please.
14:20No.
14:21Oh.
14:22No.
14:22Why not?
14:23You've thought about it, haven't you, Colin?
14:25After a good reaction to the main, there's one last course to go.
14:28This, for us, is the grand finale.
14:30These are our diva truffles.
14:32And in true diva form, every diva has to have her entrance.
14:36So, these will be delivered to the table in quite a unique manner.
14:40Well, here they are, diva truffles.
14:43We would like to just take this piece of string, eh?
14:46Here comes the diva.
14:49LAUGHTER
14:54Try it all.
14:55Nice.
14:56With dessert going down a treat, how about a quick game of one truth,
15:00one lie to round off the evening?
15:02Fact number one, I've had a nose job.
15:06Fact number two, I am classically trained in didgeridoo.
15:11No pressure.
15:12I think it's the nose.
15:13That's true.
15:14I think the nose is natural.
15:17You think it's the didgeridoo?
15:19Yeah, I'm going for the...
15:21What's the group consensus there?
15:23Didgeridoo?
15:24Didgeridoo.
15:24So, I'm on my own.
15:25Wrong!
15:26Jane's right.
15:27Jane was right.
15:30The thing is, though, right, I honestly think that if you want
15:33to change something about yourself, you should be able to do it.
15:35In case these people that are anti-plastic surgery, like,
15:38I would go the whole hog, whatever.
15:39If I had the money, there's so much I would change.
15:42If I could change one thing about you...
15:44Careful, Colin!
15:44It would be perhaps a boob job.
15:48Oh!
15:49Did he say that?
15:50He said that!
15:52That's brave Colin to say that.
15:53It is!
15:54Taxi!
15:56Taxi!
15:58Taxi!
15:59He shouldn't have said that.
16:00He's put his foot right in it.
16:04I'm sorry.
16:06Oh, God!
16:07Colin is in deep trouble with Jane now.
16:10I would not want to be Colin right now.
16:12No.
16:14Scores out of 20, please!
16:16Anyone?
16:18We've had a great night tonight.
16:19I think the food let them down.
16:21It was a touch wonky.
16:22For that reason, we're giving them a 30.
16:24The hosts were fantastic.
16:27But unfortunately, the food let them down slightly.
16:31A bit too stodgy.
16:32So it's a...
16:3414.
16:35So, it's a night in the spare room for Colin
16:38and a score of 27 out of 40 for Martin and Russell.
16:47It's the second day in Greater Manchester
16:49and Colin is still in the doghouse with Jane
16:51about his comments last night.
16:53He's out there playing with the dog.
16:54Stick with your little days, why don't you?
16:56Thinks more of them than he does me.
16:58Tell you.
16:58I'm hoping today for Colin and Jane
17:00that Colin is actually alive.
17:03Fingers crossed.
17:04And not in a pie.
17:05I can really imagine that kitchen, can't you?
17:08I reckon Jane's got a whipple.
17:10Yeah, she'll be ordering him around
17:12and he'll be like...
17:13OK.
17:14..doing what she says.
17:15Or he'll be talking to his vegetables.
17:17Or that.
17:17I think that should get put away for the day.
17:19With Jane agreeing to let Colin back into the kitchen,
17:22they'll be trying to bag the grand
17:23with some good old-fashioned home cooking.
17:26I like to think that food tonight will be...
17:27Well, it's homely and traditional,
17:29but the little twist with the sauces
17:32that'll add to it and create a nice boost, hopefully.
17:36Some fantastic flavours tonight.
17:39Confident of you, dear.
17:42Great.
17:43It's going to take a lot more than that, Colin.
17:45On with dessert, chocolate honeycomb slice.
17:48I'm guessing that's going to be quite a small dessert.
17:50It's quite hard to make honeycomb, isn't it?
17:52Where is it?
17:52Yeah, they're going to be making that.
17:53Another chocolate pudding, again.
17:55Middle of the road, not interested.
17:59Under Jane's beady eyes, Skivvy Colin
18:01has been assigned the job of making the biscuit base.
18:04I should be doing that, actually, thinking of you last night.
18:06No, I'll...
18:07Yeah.
18:07I'll carry on, if you don't mind.
18:09Don't talk, just bash, Colin.
18:11Next, Jane makes the honeycomb by boiling up butter,
18:14syrup and caster sugar.
18:16In goes the bicarb.
18:17Then gives it a good old stir until the mixture expands.
18:20It's going in.
18:22Smells gorgeous.
18:23Once set, it'll be crushed and added to the topping.
18:26How's that biscuit base, Colin?
18:28Put half a pack of butter in there.
18:31How much is half a pack done?
18:32Chop it in half again.
18:33Half a pack?
18:34Like, you did half...
18:35Half a pack of biscuits.
18:35You know how to do half a pack of biscuits.
18:37So why can't you do half a pack of butter?
18:40Ooh, it looks a bit dry.
18:42In fact, what I'll do,
18:43I'll put a blob of butter in the middle and melt it.
18:46It's that half packet of biscuits, is that?
18:48I told you to put half a pack in how much you put in.
18:51I'll put a packet.
18:52Why are you so impatient?
18:54If I'd have just said half a pack, see how you've gone on.
18:56But you're panicked, you've had it all in,
18:58now you've made a mess.
18:59You could have just listened to me in the first place.
19:01I've been listening to you for 29 years, Jane.
19:03Ooh, awkward.
19:06Is that chunky enough?
19:07Yeah, that's fine, that. Thank you.
19:09To make the topping, Colin adds the crushed honeycomb
19:11and grated chocolate to whipped cream and condensed milk.
19:14Look how well all that's chopped up.
19:18Absolutely gorgeous.
19:19Is it all right?
19:20Like you, Jane.
19:22You're not out of the woods yet, love.
19:24The mixture is spread over the biscuit base
19:25and popped into the freezer to hum.
19:28Next up, the main,
19:30the modestly titled perfect pork with cheesy vegetables.
19:33Ooh.
19:34Oh, I love cheesy vegetables.
19:36We love cheese, don't we?
19:37That sounds right up your street, isn't it?
19:39Perfect pork.
19:41That's a bit of a bold statement.
19:43You've got to be bang on there.
19:45It's perfect.
19:45No room forever on the pork.
19:47No pressure then, eh, Jane?
19:49To get the best crackling, she pours boiling water over the skin.
19:53You can see the fat opening up.
19:55Then rubs in mustard powder and a chicken stock cube.
19:58The best bit of the meal.
19:59Jane's crackling.
20:01Pork prepped, the joint goes into the oven to slow roast
20:03until their guests arrive.
20:07No meal would be complete without Colin's favourite ingredient.
20:11And he's got wind.
20:12They're on special offer at the market.
20:13Are you picking your own or do you want any help?
20:16You know what he's like with his sprouts.
20:18They're just right.
20:19Nice size.
20:20They'll be nice and tender.
20:22What about that one?
20:23That, that, that.
20:24Too big.
20:25That won't be tasty.
20:27I really enjoy sprouts.
20:29I look forward to Christmas because of sprouts.
20:31We have them all the time, don't we?
20:34Pity he doesn't treat you like he does his vegetables, isn't it, Jane?
20:37It's dogs, vegetables, football.
20:39I don't know where I am on the list, actually.
20:41That's your lot.
20:41That's just £10, please.
20:43That's great.
20:43Thanks ever so much.
20:45Thanks for the sprouts.
20:46You too.
20:48Cock a hoop with his purchase.
20:50Colin wastes no time getting to grips with his cheesy veg.
20:53Jane's giving me this task of getting, doing the veg,
20:56and it's got to be perfect.
20:58Right, the sugar snaps.
21:00Again, one of my favourites.
21:01Jane, I found the perfect pepper.
21:03Come and have a look.
21:04For me stack.
21:06Oh!
21:06I've got four little places.
21:07Oh!
21:08Four little sprouts.
21:10Oh!
21:11Should you not do one that way and one that way?
21:14Don't get involved.
21:15It just evens it out, doesn't it?
21:16It does look better.
21:17You're right.
21:18You're right, boss.
21:19Alright, there you go.
21:19To make his dish extra special,
21:21Colin sprinkles on Gruyere cheese.
21:23Veg ready to cook later, it's on with the starter.
21:26Spicy scallops.
21:29I'm not very good with spicy food.
21:32That's the one thing.
21:33I'm not a fussy eater, but I'm not very good with spicy foods, am I?
21:36Yeah, you can't even eat a korma.
21:37Like, literally, a korma, I'm on fire.
21:39Oh, that scallops.
21:40Very surprised at that.
21:41Sounds lovely.
21:44To make the spicy sauce, Jane fries onions, garlic and chilli.
21:48Do you want to do a little bit of stirring?
21:50Because you're very good at that, aren't you?
21:52Don't mess it up, Colin.
21:54Yep, keep stirring.
21:55In goes red wine, beef stock and balsamic glaze.
21:59Well done, love.
22:00Prep done and after a quick change, Jane matches the wallpaper.
22:04Colin, come on.
22:05Be here soon.
22:06OK, darling.
22:07Come on, Colin, let's go while we're young.
22:09Your first guests are here.
22:10It's Last Night Toast's Martin and Russell.
22:15Hello!
22:16You guys!
22:16It's a fabulous evening.
22:19Martin and Russell are here.
22:21Hello.
22:22Hello.
22:23We've brought you some sprouts.
22:24Oh!
22:25Fantastic.
22:27You've got a kiss for that.
22:31Next to arrive, it's Rachel and Dave.
22:32Hi.
22:33Come on in, come on in.
22:34Hi.
22:35You look lovely.
22:37You all right?
22:38Lovely to see you again.
22:40How are you guys?
22:41Are you OK?
22:42How are you doing?
22:43Oh, that's great.
22:44A tin of sprouts.
22:45A tin of sprouts.
22:46A tin of sprouts.
22:46Thank you very much.
22:48Brussels sprouts as well.
22:49We saw that and thought of you.
22:50Beautiful, thank you.
22:51A tin though as well, just in case.
22:52I know, I can say this.
22:52When you get those palpitations and you run out.
22:54Emergency sprouts.
22:55Oh, fabulous.
22:57Coming up.
22:58I hope you're joking.
23:00Table tantrums.
23:01Your mum told me that you were like in one after.
23:03At that time, I didn't even eat crisps.
23:06Oh.
23:07And awful arias.
23:10Jesus.
23:11It's like an angel.
23:13Being crucified.
23:25It's night two in Greater Manchester and the turn of husband and wife Jane and Colin to see if they
23:30can impress with their traditional food.
23:33Well, thanks to a great night.
23:34Yeah.
23:35Make yourself at home, but we're just going to have to leave you for a second while we're going to
23:38check on the food.
23:39OK.
23:39All right?
23:40See you in a while.
23:41See you in a while.
23:42Well, scallops in, Colin.
23:44And while they sought out their starter, Rachel and Martin pop upstairs in search of secrets, leaving Russell and Dave
23:49to contemplate the wallpaper.
23:52That's Jane.
23:53Is that Jane?
23:54Singing.
23:54On stage.
23:56I knew there was something about her.
23:58I'm thinking amateur theatre.
24:00I don't want to be rude, but it looks like a local production.
24:02A bit low end.
24:04Oh, that's harsh.
24:05A horrible thing to say.
24:06Yes.
24:07Downstairs, Jane makes some last minute tweaks to her spicy sauce for the starter.
24:10Oh, is it?
24:12Oh, that's fantastic.
24:14Jane plonks a scallop on a slice of fried chorizo, and it's ready to go. Spicy scallops served in their
24:20own shells. Fancy.
24:22Let me tell you, this sauce is quite spicy, so I'll only try a little bit at first, but if
24:26you enjoy it, then you can mop it up with some bread.
24:28We have to get bread for Colin, of course.
24:30He's allowed to have bread today, though.
24:32Yes, he's allowed bread today.
24:33Good to see.
24:34It looks beautiful.
24:35It does.
24:36Look in the shell.
24:37We used to have those as ashtrays in our house in the 80s.
24:40So I just thought there was, like, six ashtrays on the table.
24:43I'm slightly on fire over here.
24:45Well, there was fresh chillies in it, but only one.
24:48Yeah.
24:48I thought that was an odd mix, but I think in a weird way it worked.
24:51So far, so good.
24:52That was lovely.
24:53Good.
24:54Definitely not a winning starter for me.
24:55I just hope she never makes it again.
24:58Oh.
24:58I love the name tags as well, although I do have to inform you that my name is spelt with
25:02a Y.
25:02Is a Y, is it?
25:03It is.
25:04That's fine, you weren't to know.
25:05I must confess, mine is spelt wrong.
25:10And I wrote them.
25:12Oh, Colin.
25:14So, Jane, we had to snoop around upstairs and we saw a picture of you singing.
25:18And we're wondering whether you're some sort of entertainer, some singer.
25:21Yeah, I do sing, but I'm very nervous.
25:23I'm not a professional or anything.
25:25Oh, are you going to give us a tune tonight, though?
25:27Can I later?
25:27Go on, you know you want to.
25:29Just a little one.
25:29It wasn't like a piezo, piezo, piezo, piezo.
25:44As if I could not love her anymore.
25:46She's a singing diva.
25:51Jane singing was phenomenal.
25:54Outstanding voice.
25:55Good on her.
25:56Are you going to have a go at singing piezo?
25:58Martin, please don't.
25:59I'll have a go.
26:00Come on, you go for it.
26:01I couldn't let Jane steal the show.
26:08Piezo, piezo.
26:10Hang on in there, Russell.
26:14Jane needed her moment and I think you...
26:17Jane had her moment and just because I upstaged her
26:19with my bigger vocal range and more powerful voice.
26:23I can't help that.
26:24I wanted to drown myself.
26:28Well, if you thought Martin was embarrassing...
26:35Piezo, piezo.
26:38It's like an angel.
26:41Being crucified.
26:43I'd focus on the main, Colin.
26:45Maybe that'll hit the right note.
26:46All right, Jane.
26:47How's that pork looking?
26:49Ooh.
26:50Is it hard?
26:51It will be.
26:53It's gorgeous.
26:54It melts in your mouth.
26:56Beautiful.
26:56Here it is, Jane's perfect pork with Colin's cheesy vegetables.
27:01There we go.
27:02Thank you very much.
27:04Mmm.
27:06That's really good.
27:08Not for you, Rachel.
27:10I'm a person that loves a lot of flavour, a lot of ingredients,
27:13and it just wasn't there.
27:14It was too simple, too plain.
27:16It was roasted pork and veg.
27:19I read that menu and I said, what defines perfect pork?
27:22They defined perfect pork, didn't they?
27:24I like this part of the pork, but I'm not getting the crackling.
27:27Not like a crackling.
27:28I was a vegetarian for quite a long time, so I'm still...
27:30There's a lot of parts of meat I haven't eaten before.
27:33I haven't tried crackling before.
27:35He was a vegetarian for about a week.
27:37He pretends it was like a decade, it was like a week.
27:40Excuse me.
27:40Excuse me, it was from when I was born to when I was 12.
27:43No, it's not.
27:44Your mum told me that you were lying when I asked that.
27:46I hope you choke on that pork.
27:48I was a vegetarian for a long time,
27:50and at that time I didn't even eat crisps or...
27:55Something on your mind, Colin.
27:57I'm a bit upset, really, no-one's mentioned.
27:59I haven't actually eaten the veg.
28:01I was just going to say, Colin, the veg is amazing.
28:04I like the design of the veg.
28:06Was that your influence?
28:07Mm-hmm.
28:08It was stacked.
28:09It's stacked a veg.
28:12Vegetables, inventive.
28:13Down to our little, inventive Colin.
28:16But other than that,
28:17it's nothing to write home about at all.
28:19On to dessert,
28:20and Colin is in charge of portion sizes.
28:23He botched it early on today,
28:25and he's doing the same now.
28:26It doesn't matter.
28:29Oh, Colin, what are you doing now?
28:31I'm just chopping them.
28:31You're making even more mess of it.
28:33I'm not, because I think they might be a bit too much.
28:36At last, chocolate honeycomb slice.
28:42If we had to talk about embarrassing things that our partners do,
28:47Martin's would be that one out in public,
28:50in front of a bar or a club,
28:52Martin would just sing out of nowhere,
28:54really high-pitched, and it would freak me out.
28:56Basically, I've got those top notes,
28:58and when I go...
29:01Russell's just jealous of my range, really.
29:04And I can do a...
29:08We should get together, divas!
29:11We should do it to us!
29:12No, no, please don't.
29:14HE SINGS
29:23To Huxley!
29:25I'm so sorry.
29:27The bizarre behaviour from last night has gone up a notch,
29:30and there's now singing involved.
29:32Erm, yeah.
29:34Weird!
29:35Yeah.
29:36Weird!
29:38In terms of texture, the dessert, it was like chiselling away.
29:42Yeah, full of calories, full of sugar, but, you know, so what?
29:45It's a dinner party.
29:46I enjoyed it.
29:47If we were going to score ourselves tonight,
29:49mutual agreement, 18.
29:52You said that without moving your lips, Colin!
29:54We're scoring Colin and Jane a...
29:5714!
29:58Tonight, we're going to give Colin and Jane a 12.
30:02So, with their food failing to excite,
30:05Jane and Colin are left with a less than perfect 26 out of 40,
30:08putting them out of the running for the prize.
30:15It's the third and final day in Greater Manchester,
30:17and tonight's hosts, Rachel and Dave,
30:19are in the mood for a bit of a do.
30:23Tonight, we're definitely going to throw a massive party,
30:25that's us, where the party is with fun.
30:28We think we've got a bit of competition tonight with Rachel and David.
30:32Erm, just hoping that they slip up.
30:34So, I know that's cruel, isn't it?
30:36Colin thinks so.
30:38We see Dave and Rachel could be potential threats to us, don't we?
30:41Yeah, I think they'll grab a few things up their sleeve, won't they?
30:43How does this grab you, then?
30:45Tonight's dessert, pumpkin pie!
30:47I thought pumpkin was a vegetable.
30:49Ah.
30:50Well, I'm happy with that, then.
30:52A vegetable.
30:53What, for dessert?
30:54No.
30:55I've never had pumpkin pie in my life,
30:56so I don't know how that's going to taste.
30:59But I'm open to new experiences.
31:00Yeah.
31:01I'm intrigued by that.
31:03Rachel's apprentice, Dave, kicks off by making a shortcrust pastry.
31:07I'm a bit concerned of the consistency of that.
31:11I thought it was a bit wet.
31:12Get it under!
31:14Ah!
31:15Oh, my God, this is a nightmare.
31:18OK, start again.
31:20Ooh!
31:21You forgot about the pecan nuts in the bottom of the pastry.
31:24What do you mean, I forgot the pecans?
31:27You're staring me.
31:29I don't like this anymore, I don't want to play this game.
31:32Oh, my God, this is a dessert going to be a disaster.
31:36Keep it together!
31:39While Dave blitzes the stewed pumpkin,
31:41Rachel makes the filling by combining cream,
31:43eggs, sugar and cinnamon.
31:47Then adds in the pureed pumpkin flesh.
31:51They're working together with Dave.
31:53It's wrong.
31:54It should never happen ever again.
31:56It shouldn't.
31:57Your direction's terrible.
31:58Ah-ha!
32:00Happy with the filling,
32:01it's poured into Dave's pastry cases,
32:03ready to be baked.
32:07I've overfilled it.
32:09Do you want to put it on a tray?
32:10Do you want it on a tray, first of all?
32:11To settle it?
32:12Just pour off.
32:14Be helpful!
32:15What can I do?
32:16You're standing there with your hands on you,
32:17it just doesn't really help.
32:18Put one in the oven.
32:19Why can't you just do it?
32:20Why can't you just put that in the oven?
32:21Just do it.
32:21We're this close for being divorced,
32:23we're not even married.
32:25Play nicely, you two.
32:26On to the main Moroccan lamb.
32:30Cullen, I love it.
32:31I'm excited.
32:32Lamb.
32:33My favourite.
32:34You don't like lamb.
32:35I do not like it.
32:36But you don't eat lamb, really.
32:37Don't order lamb.
32:38It's not your kind of thing.
32:39I chose Moroccan lamb because it was actually the first meal I made
32:42when me and Dave moved in together,
32:44so it has sentimental meaning.
32:46Oh, you old romantic you.
32:47Rachel starts by seasoning her lamb with Moroccan spices,
32:51including cumin, cinnamon and coriander.
32:54So, bang the lamb in.
32:56Then browns it off before adding onion, garlic and chopped tomatoes.
33:00Ooh, that looks good!
33:02Dave's contribution to the dish is to sprinkle on dried dates and apricots.
33:07That's too much.
33:08Well done, Dave.
33:09The lamb goes into the oven to slow cook
33:11and will be served with roasted vegetable couscous.
33:15Have the bacon done!
33:16Booty pounds! Booty pounds!
33:18Booty pounds!
33:19Booty pounds!
33:20That's quite enough of that, thank you.
33:21Starters next, fish combo.
33:24I've never thought of mixing fishes.
33:27I only ever have, like, one fish at a time.
33:30Oh, I know, I'm the same.
33:31No, not good for us.
33:33Our limits, tuna sandwich, prawn cocktail and scallops,
33:37as we did last night, that's it.
33:39So, a bit dodgy for us.
33:41Says.
33:41Yeah.
33:41There's a second time for fish this week.
33:45We're also doing scallops like Jane did,
33:47but we're not going to murder our scallops.
33:49Ooh!
33:51Rachel will be cooking salmon and prawns,
33:53so start by knocking up a spicy sauce.
33:55Good to go.
33:56Yep.
33:57Straight in.
33:59In go onion, honey, soy sauce and brown sugar,
34:02and it's simmered until it reduces.
34:05Finally, Rachel chops garlic and chilli to top her salmon fillets.
34:09I'm not going to put too much chilli in it,
34:11because I noticed yesterday Martin mentioned not liking too much heat.
34:15The fishy feast will be cooked fresh tonight.
34:20Hold on.
34:21Hold on.
34:24Boobahs, boobahs.
34:25Yeah, you two might want to get changed and greet your guests.
34:29First in, it's Martin and Russell.
34:32How are you doing?
34:32You OK?
34:33Yeah, I'm good.
34:34Come and get yourself straight in.
34:36Wink-wink!
34:39Followed by Jane and Collins.
34:41You OK?
34:42I'm good, thanks.
34:43You OK?
34:43Good to see you.
34:44Yeah, welcome to the madhouse.
34:46Get yourself in.
34:47Wink-wink, Dave!
34:50You brought to my living room!
34:54Coming up, a rubbish Romeo.
34:57Colin's doing something romantic for my birthday, aren't you, this year?
35:00What's he doing?
35:01He's taking me to Blackpool to watch the dark.
35:04I love Colin's version of romance.
35:07It's like Dave's.
35:08It's absolutely ludicrous.
35:10And the winners are revealed!
35:21It's the final night in Greater Manchester and the turn of Rachel and Dave to host.
35:26Cheers.
35:27Keen to show off their party side, they're kicking off with a dancing masterclass.
35:31Everyone has to participate.
35:33It's a bit of fun.
35:33And the more booty you've got, the better.
35:36You've no chance of me doing that.
35:37No way whatsoever.
35:38Hit it, Dave.
35:43We're not dancers.
35:45So we were out of our comfort zone tonight.
35:48Come on, guys!
35:50Colin has been quiet all week, you know, and he's been such a shrinking violet.
35:54And then, bam!
35:56Woo!
35:57Who's in it?
35:57Who's in it?
35:58Who's in it?
35:59Who's in it?
35:59Who's in it?
35:59Who's in it?
36:02Who's in it?
36:05Who's in it?
36:08Who's in it?
36:08Who's in it?
36:09Who's in it?
36:11Who's in it?
36:12Who's in it?
36:13I've never imagined myself shaking my booty in someone else's house.
36:20Never.
36:20Well, for your first attempt, you did a good job, Colin.
36:23In the kitchen, the starter's underway.
36:25I've had a boo-boo, I didn't gauge my butter right and now it's just absolutely vile, deep-fried.
36:34I'm not over the moon. By the way, it's turned out. Presentation looks a bit, ooh!
36:39Fish combo, everyone! Yay!
36:44Do you like it? I like it that there's not such strong flavours, because I really wouldn't have had it.
36:49And serving it with Pak Choi is one of my favourites, so you've done well there.
36:53Yeah, really pleased you like it. And the same with the prawns, love the prawns, but my favourite's the salmon.
36:59I loved the prawns, the prawns were great, but there's too much ginger on the salmon and I didn't particularly
37:05like the scallops.
37:07I got away with a few things on the starter. The salmon was definitely deep-fried in butter.
37:13You almost seem to notice.
37:15Time to find out who's the most romantic couple.
37:18How did you propose, Colin? I'm not sure.
37:22I'm not sure if I did or not. You didn't.
37:24I think Jane... Oh, you didn't the way round?
37:27No, he bought me a ring and I just went, oh, and it was, it was just a Christmas present,
37:31so...
37:32Oh! And she was so excited in her face, I thought, I can't let her down.
37:38You accidentally got engaged! That was amazing!
37:42Colin is so passive that even, like, something as important as a wedding proposal just happened by accident through Jane.
37:50Russell is incredibly romantic.
37:52Do you think? Yeah.
37:55Sometimes I'll get home from work and he'll have lit candles, made me a meal and he'll be dressed up
38:01all smart, set the table.
38:04He's so romantic, honestly.
38:05Colin's doing something romantic for my birthday, aren't you, this year?
38:09What are you doing?
38:10He's taking me to Blackpool to watch the darts.
38:13Oh, mate! Yeah, I forgot, mate!
38:16Blammer!
38:18Colin, if there's a spare ticket, I'll come with you.
38:21I love Colin's version of romance, it's like Dave's, it's absolutely ludicrous.
38:29The darts.
38:31Dave's mentioned that before.
38:33Two peas in a pod.
38:34Oh, my God, I can see where my life's heading!
38:36I can see that!
38:37Am I going to turn into Colin?
38:39Yeah, you know, I just want to be swept off my feet and just be surprised and just take me
38:45aback.
38:46I am doing.
38:48You're going to Blackpool.
38:49What have you done for me, my darling?
38:51I clip your toenails.
38:53Oh!
38:54Now that is life!
38:55That is nature to say, I see.
38:56You and I have got loads in common.
38:58Yeah.
38:59I'm telling everyone what I do!
39:01She does me feet for me.
39:04Great to meet like many people.
39:06I don't think it's romantic, it's a duty.
39:10It's a duty.
39:11It's a duty.
39:11I'm a duty for why?
39:12Without the ring.
39:14Hint, hint!
39:15After a mixed reaction to the starter, the main needs to impress.
39:20That's sturdy.
39:20This is the winning dish.
39:22This lamb is fit.
39:25Here it is, Moroccan lamb!
39:28It's really nice.
39:29Yeah.
39:29It's a bit spicy for me but it is nice.
39:31I'm enjoying it.
39:32Yeah.
39:33I won't be eating all of it because I don't eat lamb anymore.
39:36Anymore?
39:37No.
39:37I used to love lamb and since we've got the caravan in Wales and walking in the fields and seeing
39:43little lambs gambling and playing.
39:46I can't eat it.
39:47It really does.
39:47The little faces.
39:49I know.
39:49Colin was...
39:50On the flip side, I love lamb.
39:52Oh, there you go.
39:53It will help him.
39:53He was in his element when he saw lamb on the menu.
39:55I was.
39:56He doesn't get it at home now.
39:57I'm not allowed to eat lamb.
39:59You're allowed to.
40:01But you just don't get it at home.
40:03No.
40:04No.
40:04No?
40:05I would never deny you a food.
40:07Do you know what I mean?
40:07He was like a prisoner on day release.
40:09Wasn't he?
40:11Wolfing it down.
40:12I miss lamb so much.
40:14It's my favourite meat, honestly.
40:16I do lamb.
40:18But who doesn't want it?
40:20I do.
40:21I want lamb.
40:22Well, cook it yourself.
40:24Are you going to eat some of this lamb?
40:25I enjoy the main course.
40:26Very good.
40:27I enjoyed the lamb.
40:29The sauce was excellent.
40:32And the bread for you.
40:33And the bread.
40:33So, Colin's had bread.
40:35He's had lamb.
40:36He's pretty much had everything he's not allowed in one night.
40:40I think Colin's had a taste of the dark side tonight.
40:43As the competition draws to a close, it seems a couple of our diners
40:46have learnt something about their partners.
40:48I think I've learnt that Russell does actually have confidence.
40:52He probably just doesn't get a chance to show it,
40:54cos I won't let him.
40:55So, I think this experience has shown me that I need to sometimes take a back seat
40:58and let Russell get a word in edgeways.
41:00Let me drive for once.
41:01There's a fine line between guidance and control, isn't there?
41:05Guidance and another mother.
41:07Yeah.
41:08I'm very much like you, Martin.
41:09I want to hear my own voice all the time.
41:11It's not that.
41:12I don't like pregnant pauses.
41:15So, I've tried to hold back and I'm hearing a lot more from Colin now,
41:19you know, cos you're saying a lot more, aren't you?
41:21You're quite funny, really, aren't you?
41:22I was surprised after 29 years!
41:27Time for the last course.
41:29If the main didn't grab them, then the dessert definitely will.
41:33Pumpkin pie!
41:37I hope you enjoy it.
41:39If it's your first experience, let us know.
41:42I'm sorry, but it's not me.
41:45Why is it? Is it a funny taste?
41:47It's neither this or that.
41:50Pumpkin pie, to me, is not a name for a dessert
41:53and it didn't even taste like a dessert.
41:55I'm gutted about Jane's reaction to the pumpkin pie.
41:58There was nothing wrong with it.
41:59That was a good pie.
42:00It was well-made.
42:01The taste was fine.
42:02I almost think she was almost prepared to say she didn't like it.
42:07I'm with that belief as well, massively.
42:09Are you enjoying yours?
42:10I'm enjoying the pumpkin pie.
42:13I really wanted to like the dessert, but I didn't.
42:16I don't like...
42:17I think if it's a dessert, it has to be sweet.
42:19We've cooked with our heart and soul, I think.
42:22So, for me, I am pleased.
42:25I am one pleased lady.
42:27Good.
42:28Oh, he's so cute.
42:30I love him.
42:32All three nights have been good,
42:34but after tonight, I still feel that we're the winners.
42:36Yes, I think so.
42:37Well, you're not.
42:39But for Rachel and Dave to take the top prize,
42:41they need to score 28 to snatch victory from Martin and Russell.
42:46I want to score 15 because I thought they was excellent host.
42:51And you enjoyed yourself more tonight than the other night?
42:54Better food than the other night?
42:56No.
42:57No?
42:57So, rethink.
43:01All the same.
43:02Pardon?
43:02The same.
43:03Well, I think that's fair.
43:05Yeah, I do.
43:06So why did you say 15, then?
43:09As expected, the hosting was impeccable and we all had a really good night.
43:14But the food was just a bit of a let down for us tonight, unfortunately.
43:17So, we'll be giving them a 12.
43:19We enjoyed all three meals, didn't we?
43:22The first night.
43:23Come on, make your minds up.
43:24The hosts are about to reveal the winners.
43:26Ladies and gentlemen, we have the results.
43:29Woo!
43:30Woo!
43:33Woo!
43:34Woo!
43:34I knew it is so much.
43:36Joint second...
43:41Colin and Jane, Rachel and Dave.
43:45That means the winners are Martin and Russell.
43:48Woo!
43:49Jane and Colin eventually agreed on 14, so Martin and Russell finished top on 27.
43:55I'm just happy we made such good friends, you know, this is nothing for me.
43:59We're rich!
44:02I seriously thought that we were going to win tonight.
44:05And I can't say anything different.
44:08Yeah, we feel a bit cutted.
44:10It's not showing.
44:12Of course we're pleased.
44:13We're nice guys and they deserve to win, so good for them. We're pleased.
44:17For more on Come Down With Me, go to the Channel 4 website.
44:22Your sprouts that ruin it, love. You bored them all to death.
44:25Love and marriage, love and marriage, they go together like a horse and carriage.
44:34This I'll tell you, brother, you can't have one without the other.
44:43Love and marriage, love and marriage, it's an institute you can't disparage.
44:51Ask the locals.
44:53Ask the locals.