- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Ha!
00:00:24Gotcha!
00:00:26Pete?
00:00:28Craig, where are you guys?
00:00:58Yeah.
00:01:00Yeah.
00:01:02Yeah.
00:01:04Yeah.
00:01:06Yeah.
00:01:08Yeah.
00:01:10Yeah.
00:01:12Yeah.
00:01:14Yeah.
00:01:36Mom?
00:01:37What is this, my birthday?
00:01:42Where is everybody?
00:02:07Ratio, breakfast coming right up.
00:02:13How are we this glorious morning?
00:02:15Doing great.
00:02:16Good to hear that.
00:02:18What did you say?
00:02:19I said we're great.
00:02:21I love you, sis.
00:02:23You do?
00:02:25What is going on?
00:02:27What do you want from me?
00:02:28We just really appreciate everything you do around here.
00:02:30And rarely say thanks, so thanks.
00:02:31And from now on, we are going to be the big happy family you always wanted.
00:02:34Did you get the breakfast I made you, honey?
00:02:36Yeah, Mom, it was great.
00:02:38But, um, why is everybody so happy?
00:02:40I thought we were on the verge of losing the ranch and all its properties to the banks.
00:02:43Not anymore.
00:02:44We've just won the lottery.
00:02:46One billion dollars.
00:02:47We're rich, Jules.
00:02:49And now we get to keep the ranch, pay off all the debts, bring in more horses,
00:02:53and live happily ever after.
00:02:55And it's all because of you.
00:02:57Wait, you mean I picked the winning numbers?
00:02:59Yes, you did.
00:03:00We're so proud of you, honey.
00:03:02This, this is like a dream come true.
00:03:05Yeah, that's because it is.
00:03:08A dream come true?
00:03:09No, just a dream.
00:03:10Your dream proves size.
00:03:12My dream, but I don't get it.
00:03:22Gotcha again, sucka.
00:03:23I fell for the oldest trick in the book.
00:03:25Get out of my room!
00:03:27What are you, like seven?
00:03:29Try putting a teen at the end of that.
00:03:31Yeah, and we'll always be older than you.
00:03:32Stronger, too.
00:03:33And prettier.
00:03:34Well, if you're so big and strong, why don't you help me with the chores once in a while?
00:03:38What's the point?
00:03:39We're gonna be out of here in like a week.
00:03:40Mom hasn't sold the place yet.
00:03:42She's signing it away today.
00:03:43Mr. Beatle will be here this afternoon.
00:03:45Yeah, don't call mom, mom.
00:03:46She's our mom, not yours.
00:03:47Yeah, you're just like an illegal adopted alien or something.
00:03:50The term is stepdaughter.
00:03:52I think that only works when your father is married to our mother.
00:03:55But after he died, the term becomes human parasite.
00:03:57Sounds about right, doesn't it?
00:03:58Pretty accurate to me.
00:03:59This was my dad's ranch before you ever moved in.
00:04:02I grew up here.
00:04:03This is my home.
00:04:04So you're the intruders.
00:04:05Not for long.
00:04:07Just get out before I...
00:04:09Phone with the mouth?
00:04:10Oh, too late.
00:04:11I wish this was a dream.
00:04:20Uh...
00:04:25...
00:04:44Hey, good morning Juliet.
00:04:45Take whatever you like it.
00:04:47I didn't have time to cook.
00:04:49cook as usual and it's jules remember juliette is a much prettier name only if you have the romeo
00:04:56to go with it yeah it'll happen someday you'll see well at least i still have heritia
00:05:03your dad was my romeo and boy could i use him now how bad is it on a scale from one to ten
00:05:13i would need triple digits this is my our home you can't sell i'll try my best mr beetle is coming
00:05:23today to review our options but you're not signing anything right i love this place juliette sorry
00:05:29jewels i don't want to move back to the city i mean whatever we can do you can't well what happened
00:05:35to horatio look your dad made a wonderful life here for us and for horatio so we're gonna do
00:05:41whatever we can win the lottery i tried that there is a very happy family celebrating in ohio today
00:05:49it's all over the news i mean what we really need now is a miracle miracles are possible if you put
00:05:57your mind to it okay whatever you say why don't you go check with your brothers brainstorm with them see
00:06:03if they can think of something they could think that would be a miracle what was that will do
00:06:09i'm sure they're full of wonderful ideas
00:06:11okay now watch this and respond truthfully it's very important i got it i got it get on with it
00:06:29well what do you think i think i like the second one best okay i have more
00:06:39what are you doing craig's practicing his poses yeah when we move back to the city i have to be ready
00:06:48my career awaits it was what a mime male model you don't think i have what it takes
00:06:53yeah yeah laugh it up when we become rich and famous we'll see who's laughing last oh you're
00:07:03gonna be a model too no i'm the businessman pete's going to be my manager yeah i'll be handling all
00:07:08the deals because great with money okay prove it do you have two tens for five absolutely
00:07:13thanks uh pete i don't think that works out quite wait what was that two tens for a five
00:07:24what do you think i'm an idiot okay here's back your five not giving back two tens
00:07:30that's better now get out of here and do your chores try to pull a fastball on me
00:07:37see why i'm handling all your business so you don't make those kind of mistakes
00:07:41what you think that's funny here's two tens give me a five quick
00:07:46she did it to me you did it to me too
00:08:11we should we're that easy with mr petal hey ratio how's your leg holding up still sore huh well
00:08:37don't worry when it gets better we could go out riding just like a good old times sound good philip
00:08:43oh my god risha what are we gonna do i can't leave this place and i could never lose you
00:08:52we've grown up together
00:08:53you're a pony it was my eighth birthday remember i got a new mom two new brothers and you the same year
00:09:02pete and craig weren't that bad back then not until dad died
00:09:08i miss him so much and kim means well but she can't run this place on her own
00:09:15and pete and craig are no help whatsoever
00:09:17you know what we need to do is come up with a plan
00:09:21horatio a way to make a lot of money really fast
00:09:24any suggestions
00:09:26you don't say
00:09:29well when i can learn how to speak horse we'll continue this conversation okay
00:09:34maybe it won't be that bad
00:09:37perhaps mr beetle will buy the place fix it up and let us stay here to run it
00:09:41it's a possibility right
00:09:43so
00:09:47uh
00:09:54good
00:09:57yeah
00:10:04uh
00:10:06yeah
00:10:09yeah
00:11:12I've been in my empire two decades from now.
00:11:14I need you to know what it takes for me to ground up.
00:11:42When you look out there, what do you see?
00:12:01Trees, flowing streams, vistas straight out of postcards.
00:12:05I see waste.
00:12:07Nothing but waste.
00:12:08All this unused land, taking space from buildings, factories, and apartment stores.
00:12:13It's enough to make you sick.
00:12:15It's unnatural.
00:12:16It's nature, Dad.
00:12:17It's as natural as it gets.
00:12:19Ah, nature's overrated.
00:12:21If people like nature so much, they'd live in it.
00:12:23You see people living in those trees?
00:12:24I don't think so.
00:12:25Animals live there, Dad.
00:12:27Ah, that's right.
00:12:28But if animals were around the world, it'd be complete chaos, disorganization.
00:12:32The whole financial system would collapse.
00:12:35People wouldn't pay attention to politicians.
00:12:36We wouldn't have any different lawyers.
00:12:38And then, then what would we do?
00:12:40Celebrate?
00:12:41Not a joke like that, Wes.
00:12:43Not even jest.
00:12:44It's a sign of weakness.
00:12:48The signs up here make any sense.
00:12:50That's both to me.
00:12:52Deer crossing.
00:12:53And why do I care about that?
00:12:54Because it's a deer crossing!
00:12:55Oh!
00:13:11A deer crossing.
00:13:28Oh!
00:13:29Oh!
00:13:30Oh!
00:13:31Oh!
00:13:33Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:13:40What's up, guys?
00:13:47You think you're really funny, don't you?
00:13:49No.
00:13:50I think I'm moderately funny from time to time.
00:13:52I want my money back.
00:13:53I gave you your money back.
00:13:55Not enough of it.
00:13:56Okay, fine.
00:13:58What if I say you could win it back?
00:13:59How?
00:14:00Just pick a number between 1 and 10.
00:14:02If I don't guess it right, I'll give you back double your bet.
00:14:05Okay, $20.
00:14:07Okay.
00:14:08Pick a number.
00:14:10Okay, I guess.
00:14:19Okay.
00:14:21Is the number between 1 and 3?
00:14:22No.
00:14:23Between 5 and 7?
00:14:24No.
00:14:25Between 8 and 10?
00:14:26Yeah.
00:14:27The number's 9.
00:14:33Better luck next time.
00:14:34Wait, not so fast.
00:14:36Now you're picking up between 1 through 10.
00:14:38Fine.
00:14:39Number 5.
00:14:40Are you kidding me?
00:14:45You're going to let her get away with that?
00:14:47Come back, you Jules.
00:14:48Don't give me away, okay?
00:15:15Okay.
00:15:15She's got to be around here somewhere.
00:15:30You are so not going to be my agent.
00:15:32Fine.
00:15:32I wouldn't make any money with you anyways.
00:15:34Your poses are stupid.
00:15:36You're stupid.
00:15:37Okay, smart guy.
00:15:38What's 412 times 97 divided by 7?
00:15:43I don't know.
00:15:44You see?
00:15:45You don't know.
00:15:46Okay, so what is it?
00:15:47Oh, no.
00:15:47I was asking you.
00:15:49You don't know the answer either, do you?
00:15:50I'm trying to change the subject.
00:15:51I made my point.
00:15:52No, you didn't.
00:15:52You would have to know the answer if you got...
00:15:53You're just making up numbers now, aren't you?
00:15:57I am not.
00:15:57Part 2.
00:16:08That was a close one.
00:16:10I know, I know.
00:16:11It was a dumb move.
00:16:13Someday, someone will lock some sense into me.
00:16:14But, until then, I come out on top.
00:16:44Mr. Beetle, what happened to your car?
00:16:51Oh, you won't believe it.
00:16:52We were passing one of those yellow signs,
00:16:54the one with the deer on it.
00:16:55A deer crossing sign.
00:16:56Yeah.
00:16:56And, uh, suddenly out of nowhere,
00:16:58deer runs right in front of the car.
00:16:59Oh, my gosh.
00:16:59Are you both okay?
00:17:01Yeah, we're okay.
00:17:02Deer's okay.
00:17:02We swerved and hit a tree.
00:17:04But you tell me,
00:17:05why would they put a deer crossing sign
00:17:06right in the middle of the road?
00:17:07Wouldn't it be smarter to put it in a safer location
00:17:09where there's no people or passing cars?
00:17:12I don't understand what you mean.
00:17:13Well, those signs,
00:17:14they're a hazard to everyone's health.
00:17:16I mean, it's letting the deer know
00:17:17that it's okay to cross there.
00:17:18You know, someone should write a letter
00:17:19to the local authorities,
00:17:20and that would fix the problem.
00:17:22Dad, the signs are there for the motorists
00:17:24to warn them about the deer.
00:17:26Oh, that's absurd.
00:17:26How do we expect the deer not to cross the road
00:17:28when we're just given permission to do so?
00:17:30But if that's the case,
00:17:31we should set up a separate set of signs
00:17:33for the deer.
00:17:34Maybe one with a speeding car on it
00:17:35so they know when they can cross.
00:17:37I'll say, this is why I don't deal in the countryside.
00:17:39There's nothing like dumb deer here.
00:17:40Is he serious?
00:17:48Can I get you something to drink, Mr. Beetle?
00:17:50Something to calm your nerves?
00:17:51Oh, a gin and tonic would be lovely.
00:17:53Thanks, Miss Bell.
00:17:55Kim, please.
00:17:57Kim, that's short for Kimberly, isn't it?
00:17:59Yes, it is.
00:18:00It's a lovely name.
00:18:01My first ex-wife's name was Bev.
00:18:03Short for Beverly.
00:18:04No, short for beverage.
00:18:05Her parents were real heavy drinkers.
00:18:07That was a joke, no?
00:18:11Call them never jokes.
00:18:13It's a sign of weakness.
00:18:14The boy's right.
00:18:15Okay, let's get down to the contracts here.
00:18:17The boy has a name, by the way.
00:18:20I'm Wesley.
00:18:21Short for nothing.
00:18:22Nice to meet you, Wesley.
00:18:23I'm sorry, I thought I made it.
00:18:24Well, let's not get bogged down with details.
00:18:26Kimberly, you're in real financial trouble here.
00:18:29The bank is going to foreclose on the property
00:18:30by the end of the week,
00:18:31selling off the land acre by acre.
00:18:33Now, I see tremendous potential here,
00:18:34and I'm willing to buy your entire ranch
00:18:36and even help you with your move back
00:18:38to normal civilization.
00:18:39If you look over the contracts,
00:18:40you see that my offer is more than generous.
00:18:42Yeah, it's lovely.
00:19:01I can see that you've really put
00:19:02a lot of time and effort into this.
00:19:04Well, we'd have to remove some trees
00:19:06and some bushes and some wildlife,
00:19:07but this place has real potential.
00:19:09It's all about vision.
00:19:10That's how you get ahead, son.
00:19:12You see something on your path,
00:19:12and you mow it down.
00:19:13It's like the deer.
00:19:16You know, this is a lot to go into.
00:19:18Why don't I give you guys a tour of the property,
00:19:21and then you can see, you know,
00:19:22how we operate here.
00:19:23My father's allergic to fresh air.
00:19:25Oh, no, don't be silly.
00:19:26That was a one-time thing,
00:19:27and the doctor said it was more about
00:19:28the pollen in the air than the air itself.
00:19:31We'd be delighted to get the two of the land, Kimberly.
00:19:36Think about where I'm going to put
00:19:37that 10-story parking garage.
00:19:40Okay, well, let me grab my allergy pills,
00:19:42sinus medication, eye drops,
00:19:43and sinus relief medication,
00:19:44and I'll be all set.
00:19:46Where's your bathroom?
00:19:46Yeah, it's right over there.
00:19:48Okay, thanks.
00:19:50Your father has a lot of health issues, huh?
00:19:53Well, like mental issues.
00:19:55You see, taking care of business,
00:19:56he's a prep.
00:19:57Taking care of himself
00:19:58is a whole other matter.
00:19:59He was better when Mom was around,
00:20:00but after she left,
00:20:02he's been a bit obsessed with work.
00:20:05I have a daughter about your age
00:20:07who's very much like that.
00:20:08Not with work, specifically,
00:20:10but she can have a one-track mind
00:20:12when it comes to her obsession.
00:20:14What is it?
00:20:15Oh, it's not an it.
00:20:15It's a who,
00:20:16and it goes by the name of Horatio.
00:20:18Horatio.
00:20:18Horatio.
00:20:18Juliette.
00:20:48Juliet, are you okay, Juliet?
00:20:51Juliet, speak to me.
00:20:52I'm fine.
00:20:55Ow.
00:20:56Who hit me?
00:20:58The lucky horseshoe above my stable fell and knocked you out.
00:21:02Lucky by whose definition?
00:21:03I don't know.
00:21:04Your father hung it up there, and he's always just said that it was lucky.
00:21:08Remember?
00:21:08Yeah, I do.
00:21:10I'm surprised you remember.
00:21:10You were just a pony.
00:21:12What is it?
00:21:13You're talking.
00:21:14So, what's wrong with that?
00:21:16When did you start talking?
00:21:18I've always talked to you.
00:21:19Every morning when you feed me and say hi, I say, hello, Juliet, and how are you today?
00:21:24And then after I eat, I thank you.
00:21:27Yeah, but I never understood you before.
00:21:29Oh, really?
00:21:30Well, I always had the impression you understood me quite well.
00:21:32This is impossible.
00:21:34You mean I've been speaking all this time, and you haven't understood a word?
00:21:38Boy, do I feel like an idiot.
00:21:39This is not happening.
00:21:41I'm dreaming.
00:21:42Or I'm hallucinating.
00:21:44I was hit on the head with this, and now I'm hearing voices.
00:21:47What kind of voices?
00:21:49Horse voices.
00:21:50Do they sound like me?
00:21:51Yeah, they sound exactly like...
00:21:52Oh, I need medical attention.
00:21:54I hope you feel better soon.
00:21:56Oh, and I think my leg is improving, by the way.
00:21:58guitar plays in bright rhythm
00:23:31I moved here eight years ago with my boys after I married Ryan.
00:23:54He's really the one who worked the land and built all this with his daughter Juliet, my stepdaughter.
00:24:00I've tried my best to keep it going, but it's really my late husband who had the green thumb.
00:24:08Green thumb? Well, was it infected? Is that what killed him?
00:24:11Again, not a joke?
00:24:14No. I'm sorry, Kimberly. Nature's not really my forte. There's just so many things alive here. Like this tree. It's alive, isn't it?
00:24:21Yep. It just grows right out of the ground.
00:24:26And you don't find that disturbing?
00:24:28Dad doesn't trust anything that isn't man-made.
00:24:31What about water?
00:24:33Don't drink it. It rusts pipes and fish go to the bathroom in it.
00:24:37W.C. Fields, right?
00:24:38No, that's an intelligent man.
00:24:40He was a comedian, Dad.
00:24:42No, I don't think he was.
00:24:45Where is Juliet now?
00:24:46Juliet, this is Mr. Beadle and his son Wesley.
00:24:49Hello.
00:24:50Wes is fine. My father doesn't shake hands.
00:24:52How are you?
00:24:55I'm fine. I'm good.
00:24:57Why? What have you heard? There's nothing wrong with me.
00:24:59Mr. Beadle is interested in developing the property, so I was just showing them around.
00:25:03How's Horatio doing?
00:25:04It's like he's improving.
00:25:05Not that he told me that or anything. I just noticed when I was checking him out.
00:25:09Who is Horatio?
00:25:10He's Juliet's favorite horse. They're best friends, grow up together, talk to each other.
00:25:15No, we don't.
00:25:16I mean, we're not that close. A horse is a horse.
00:25:19Of course. Of course.
00:25:20And no one can talk to a horse.
00:25:21Of course.
00:25:22That is, of course, unless the horse...
00:25:25I'm sorry, you just reminded me of an old television show.
00:25:28Well, I wanted to bring them over to the stables.
00:25:30No, no, no, no.
00:25:32I mean, no. You don't want to go in there.
00:25:34Stables are a mess, there's hay everywhere, and it smells like horse poop.
00:25:38Oh, well, then I'll pass it. That doesn't sound like a real good environment for my sinuses.
00:25:41Maybe you could bring Horatio up to the corral, because I'd really like to show Mr. Beadle the advantages to running a successful operation, as opposed to a new shopping mall.
00:25:51Well, Horatio's not quite himself today. I thought you said he was feeling better.
00:25:57I'd love to meet him. Horses are awesome.
00:26:02You really think so?
00:26:03Yeah.
00:26:05Okay, I'll go get him.
00:26:07Can I come?
00:26:09Oh, no, I'll do it. Horatio gets a little nervous around people he doesn't know.
00:26:12Well, since when did you start to love horses?
00:26:19Since I left the city and discovered the wonders of nature.
00:26:26Get away from me, you fly spawn.
00:26:28It's a bee, Mr. Beadle.
00:26:32See, I think if Flew Right Abbey it tried to kill me.
00:26:34Horatio, I'm taking you to the corral, and you are not to speak to me, because you are a horse.
00:27:04And I'm a human. You got that?
00:27:06Absolutely.
00:27:07Good. No, not good. I didn't hear that.
00:27:10I said absolutely.
00:27:12No, you didn't.
00:27:13Oh, did I mispronounce it? I was just telling you I got what you were saying.
00:27:17Yeah, but you shouldn't. You shouldn't get what I'm saying.
00:27:20Then speak French.
00:27:21Why?
00:27:21Because I don't understand French.
00:27:24It's official. I'm losing my mind.
00:27:26Why? Because you're having a conversation with a talking horse?
00:27:29Uh, yeah.
00:27:30Well, I think it's a good thing. I like being able to communicate.
00:27:33Yeah, well, not when we're on the verge of losing the ranch.
00:27:35What are you saying?
00:27:37Now you don't understand.
00:27:38I mean, what do you mean by that?
00:27:41There's this really rich guy who wants to buy the ranch and turn it into a shopping center.
00:27:45So unless we can convince him that this place is worth keeping it the way it is, we're done for.
00:27:49Aha! A brilliant idea.
00:27:52Yes?
00:27:52Well, that's what we need. A brilliant idea.
00:27:55Yeah, no kidding. This ranch hasn't made money in almost a year.
00:27:59No one runs out the cabin, so how can we prove that this place can be profitable again?
00:28:03Would you like me to speak with him?
00:28:05You think he's going to talk to a talking horse?
00:28:07No. What we need is something special.
00:28:10Something like...
00:28:11a talking horse.
00:28:14I got it.
00:28:15Well, how about a talking pig?
00:28:17I remember you telling me about that movie years ago with that talking pig,
00:28:19and there was the other one about the spider web and the pig.
00:28:22Humans seem to love pigs.
00:28:23No, just forget about the pig idea.
00:28:25You were a talking horse.
00:28:26Yeah, I thought we already established that.
00:28:29Well, you're the one who's going to save this ranch.
00:28:31How?
00:28:32My leg is still pretty sore.
00:28:33I don't think I'll be able to win any jumping competitions for a while.
00:28:36You don't have to compete.
00:28:38You are one of a kind.
00:28:39You're a talking horse.
00:28:40You're a talking horse.
00:29:10Stop that.
00:29:14I'm going to be a male model, not you.
00:29:16If you can do it, I can do it better.
00:29:17Oh, yeah?
00:29:18Try this one for size.
00:29:24Are you guys playing charades?
00:29:27Who are you?
00:29:28Yeah, these are Artwoods.
00:29:29Oh, you must be Pete and Craig.
00:29:31My name is Wes.
00:29:32My father's thinking of buying your property.
00:29:33So you're like the really, really rich kid, huh?
00:29:36Yeah, I've got a money tree going in my backyard, but I think I like yours better.
00:29:40So do you have, like, money on you?
00:29:42I've got a few bills.
00:29:43Why?
00:29:45You a gambling man, Wes?
00:29:46On occasion.
00:29:47But I bet you $20.
00:29:48If you pick a number from 1 through 10, I can guess it.
00:29:52Okay.
00:29:53You got one?
00:29:53Yes.
00:29:54Number 7.
00:29:58Number 6.
00:29:59Nice try, bud.
00:30:00You were close.
00:30:00I can't believe you.
00:30:02Why doesn't it work when I do it?
00:30:04Thanks, guys.
00:30:05Is the corral this way?
00:30:06Wait a minute.
00:30:07Give him a chance to win back that money.
00:30:08Yeah, give me a chance that you want a serious beating.
00:30:10Okay.
00:30:11Tell you what.
00:30:12I'll bet you $50 that you guys aren't here.
00:30:15You're going to bet us that we're not here.
00:30:16And I'll prove it.
00:30:18Deal.
00:30:19You're not in Mexico, right?
00:30:21No.
00:30:22And you're not in Detroit.
00:30:23No way.
00:30:24And you're not in England.
00:30:25Right.
00:30:26So if you're not in Mexico, you're not in Detroit, and you're not in England, you must be someplace else.
00:30:31That's right.
00:30:32We must be someplace else.
00:30:33And if you're someplace else, you certainly can't be here.
00:30:35Naturally, if we're someplace else, we can't possibly be here.
00:30:53You see, we were trying to create a family attraction where children and adults could commune with nature.
00:31:14That doesn't sound very healthy.
00:31:16Oh, no, it is.
00:31:17It's very relaxing.
00:31:19You see, people build up a lot of stress in their day-to-day daily grind.
00:31:22And they keep it right here.
00:31:24Ow!
00:31:25What did you just do, woman?
00:31:26It was the biggest knot I've ever felt.
00:31:28You've got to have that looked at by somebody.
00:31:29I see all the top doctors in the city.
00:31:31Well, a doctor can't do anything for that.
00:31:33You need to have a good body massage by someone who knows what she's doing.
00:31:36Are you qualified to give that kind of diagnosis?
00:31:38Yes.
00:31:39I was a masseuse for 20 years.
00:31:41That's how I met my husband.
00:31:42He said I had magic fingers.
00:31:47Speaking of magical, I'd like you all to meet Horatio.
00:31:49A very magical horse.
00:31:54He's a beauty.
00:31:56Yes, yes, that's very nice.
00:31:57But let's go back to the house and discuss the contract, shall we?
00:31:59Oh, no.
00:32:00Mr. Beatle, come closer.
00:32:01I really want you to see this.
00:32:02You're not afraid of a little horse, are you?
00:32:04You call that creature little?
00:32:06Yours, money.
00:32:11Boys, boys, behave.
00:32:12We have guests.
00:32:14Okay, Jules, what did you want to show us?
00:32:16Did you teach Horatio a new trick?
00:32:17She's wonderful with animals.
00:32:18Have I ever.
00:32:20Horatio, why don't you say hi to this nice gentleman and introduce yourself?
00:32:27Hello.
00:32:28It's a pleasure to meet you.
00:32:30My name is Horatio.
00:32:32I'm a horse, if you haven't already guessed by my appearance.
00:32:34I enjoy long walks in the woods, hay is my favorite food, and I was considering taking
00:32:39up tap dancing, but unfortunately, I have two left feet.
00:32:43Hey, that was pretty good.
00:32:45Pretty good?
00:32:47Are you kidding me?
00:32:48I mean, maybe it wasn't the best joke in the world, but it was told by a talking horse.
00:32:51A talking horse?
00:32:52Are you crazy?
00:32:54Did you not all hear Horatio just speak?
00:32:57Yes.
00:32:58And?
00:32:59Yes, we did not just all hear Horatio speak.
00:33:02He just kind of grunted and snorted like he always does.
00:33:05But he looks great, Jules.
00:33:06You've done a wonderful job with him.
00:33:07You didn't hear him either?
00:33:08Say something else.
00:33:16Something else?
00:33:17No, tell another joke.
00:33:19So this horse walks into a bar, and then the bartender asks the horse, why the long face?
00:33:23Get it?
00:33:26You get it?
00:33:27Long face?
00:33:28Horse?
00:33:29Horses have long faces?
00:33:30It's like a pun.
00:33:32I don't think they got it.
00:33:34You want me to try another one?
00:33:35Hey, how long are a horse's legs?
00:33:37Long enough to touch the ground.
00:33:40Jules, you want to take him back to the stable?
00:33:42Wow.
00:33:43This is a tough crowd.
00:33:44I don't believe this.
00:33:45He's talking, guys.
00:33:46He's telling stand-up jokes.
00:33:48What if I sit down and tell him?
00:33:50Would that make a difference?
00:33:51Mr. Beatle, let's go look at another part of the farm.
00:33:53Come on.
00:33:54If you insist.
00:33:56We didn't even have to make a fool out of you this time.
00:33:59You did it all by yourself.
00:34:03Don't be upset.
00:34:05I'm losing my mind.
00:34:07No, you're not.
00:34:08They're just too stupid to hear me.
00:34:10Well, that's easy for you to say.
00:34:12I'm sorry.
00:34:12I was just trying to help.
00:34:13Oh, no, I wasn't talking to you.
00:34:15She was talking to me.
00:34:16No, he doesn't know that.
00:34:17You're talking to the horse, aren't you?
00:34:19See?
00:34:20He got it.
00:34:21That's right.
00:34:22And you can hear the horse talking back to you?
00:34:24Should I answer that one?
00:34:25No.
00:34:26So you can't hear the horse?
00:34:28Yes, she can.
00:34:29No, I can't.
00:34:30Who are you talking to?
00:34:32You.
00:34:33I'm talking to you.
00:34:34And I am only talking to you from now on.
00:34:36Okay.
00:34:37Um, you want me to help you bring her ratio back to the stables?
00:34:40Sure.
00:34:41So what?
00:34:42Now you're giving me the silent treatment?
00:34:44What did I do?
00:34:45What is it?
00:34:46Nothing.
00:34:47I didn't hear anything.
00:34:48And I didn't say anything.
00:34:49Uh, can I say something?
00:34:50Didn't hear that either.
00:34:51I didn't hear anything.
00:35:21I didn't hear anything.
00:35:51I didn't hear anything.
00:36:51So this is one of the cabins that people rent out for the summer to get away from it all.
00:37:20That's nice. Very, very nice.
00:37:23Is your daughter seeing a doctor?
00:37:25Because I know a team of a wonderful therapist in the city.
00:37:28Mr. Beetle, Juliet is a great girl.
00:37:29It was really hard for her losing her father.
00:37:32And now the thought of losing this place?
00:37:34I mean, you can imagine the stress she's under.
00:37:37She loves it here. We all do.
00:37:38I'm beginning to get the impression that you don't want to sell me this land.
00:37:41Miss Bell, if I'm wasting my time...
00:37:42I never said that.
00:37:44Just let me show you the inside of the cabin.
00:37:46I'm just going to check it out first.
00:37:47Craig, Pete, can you entertain Mr. Beetle for a few minutes?
00:37:50I'll be right back.
00:37:55You know, we don't all love it here.
00:37:57No.
00:37:57We want to move back to the city and become famous models.
00:38:00Yeah, don't worry. Mom will sell.
00:38:01She'll definitely sell.
00:38:03Well, it's good to know because I want to pay a lot of money for it.
00:38:06We like money.
00:38:07Yeah, big fans of money.
00:38:09You seem like smart boys.
00:38:10And I wish you could teach my son the same appreciation.
00:38:13He has this absurd notion that money can be used to make the world a better place.
00:38:17Protect the environment, help the poor.
00:38:19I don't know where he gets those ideas from.
00:38:21Probably his mother.
00:38:22Bet you won't see me throwing my money away like that.
00:38:25Mr. Beetle, do you have two tens for a five?
00:38:30I do indeed.
00:38:32Here is ten for you and ten for you.
00:38:35Okay, you can come in now.
00:38:37Charming boys you have here.
00:38:58Now, I know you can still hear me.
00:39:00Look, I'll get new material.
00:39:02My next performance will have them rolling in the aisles.
00:39:04I promise.
00:39:04I really do love it up here.
00:39:05We don't have anything like this in the city.
00:39:08I don't know why you guys want to turn this place into a shopping mall.
00:39:11We don't.
00:39:11Then why are you selling this place to my father?
00:39:14Well, we can't afford to keep it.
00:39:16But, you know, we don't want anyone to tear it down.
00:39:19I think we could build this ranch up into a real resort.
00:39:22A lot of animals and more horses.
00:39:24That would be cool.
00:39:25Wouldn't it?
00:39:27Wouldn't what?
00:39:29Wouldn't that be cool?
00:39:30Oh, I think so.
00:39:31But good luck convincing my father.
00:39:33He hates anything that has to do with the outdoors.
00:39:35It's like he's got some kind of phobia for all things organic.
00:39:38That doesn't sound natural.
00:39:40Will you quit it?
00:39:40You're not funny.
00:39:41I wasn't trying to be funny.
00:39:43I know.
00:39:44I'm sorry.
00:39:45I could be funny.
00:39:46Want to hear a joke?
00:39:47I'm all ears.
00:39:48I didn't do anything yet.
00:39:51I know.
00:39:52I was just imagining how funny your punchline would be once you finish telling.
00:39:58Continue.
00:40:00Why couldn't the pony sing?
00:40:01Because his voice was a little hoarse?
00:40:04I haven't reached the punchline yet.
00:40:06I'm sorry.
00:40:06I already know that one.
00:40:08Oh.
00:40:08Okay.
00:40:10How about this one?
00:40:11A cowboy rode off down the road on Wednesday and came back three days later on Wednesday.
00:40:15How's this possible?
00:40:16His horse was named Wednesday.
00:40:19Oh, come on.
00:40:20You know that one, too?
00:40:21And Wednesday had two little pony cousins named Monday and Tuesday.
00:40:24Between the three of them, it was a short week.
00:40:29I give up.
00:40:30No, Wes.
00:40:30I'm sorry.
00:40:31I wasn't laughing at you.
00:40:32I know.
00:40:32That's the problem.
00:40:34You let him finish his jokes and quit interrupting.
00:40:36I thought we were a good team.
00:40:38It's all about timing, you know.
00:40:39Just shut your trap before you ruin everything.
00:40:41You can hear your A-show, can't you?
00:40:43That wasn't an act.
00:40:44Nope.
00:40:45Nope.
00:40:46That would be crazy.
00:40:47And then they would put me in a sane asylum for being crazy.
00:40:50Humans cannot hear animals speaking to them.
00:40:52Well, what about Dr. Doolittle?
00:40:53He was a fictional character in a children's book.
00:40:56He just spoke to you again, didn't he?
00:40:59Yes.
00:41:00But only I can hear him.
00:41:01They're going to lock me up and throw away the key.
00:41:07Hey, if they do that, I'll bail you out.
00:41:09Get it?
00:41:10Hay?
00:41:11Bail?
00:41:12Bail of hay?
00:41:13Bail you out?
00:41:14No, no, no.
00:41:15Don't cry.
00:41:16It'll be all right.
00:41:18His jokes are so bad.
00:41:20It's painful.
00:41:21Sorry.
00:41:22I'm afraid you're saddled with me.
00:41:23I'm afraid you're saddled with me.
00:41:52So, as you can see, it's a perfect place for a vacation.
00:42:08It's a great area to raise a family as well.
00:42:11Yeah, it's very homely.
00:42:13Homely?
00:42:15A homely.
00:42:15I meant homely.
00:42:16It feels like home.
00:42:17Well, that's because it is one.
00:42:19It's our home.
00:42:20Once you sign these documents, it's going to be a great place for thousands of shoppers, too.
00:42:24Have you seen anything I've shown you, Mr. Baitle?
00:42:28Of course, Kimberly.
00:42:29My eyes have been wide open.
00:42:31Except when that buzzing flying creature was trying to kill me.
00:42:35Yeah.
00:42:36I don't think they were.
00:42:37And you can call me Mrs. Bell.
00:42:40Is there a problem?
00:42:41In a syllable?
00:42:43Yes.
00:42:44We don't want to leave our home.
00:42:48Ms. Bell, the bank's going to take it away from you.
00:42:51And there's the problem.
00:42:52All I'm trying to do is help.
00:42:55No.
00:42:56All you're trying to do is help yourself by building another useless mall
00:43:00and make millions of dollars while destroying everything that's right in the world.
00:43:06And what in my house brought that on?
00:43:08You know, you may be a whiz at business and making money, but you don't have a clue about
00:43:17people's feelings.
00:43:18Your son was right.
00:43:19My son.
00:43:22And what did he tell you?
00:43:25About the same thing that you.
00:43:28You're so busy, so wrapped up in your work that you don't even know how to take care of yourself,
00:43:32let alone what's best for the planet.
00:43:35My son's future is all laid out for her, Ms. Bell.
00:43:37And he will never go hungry.
00:43:39And I can't say the same for your kids if you don't sign these documents, which, by the
00:43:41way, is no longer on the table.
00:43:43Really?
00:43:44Yeah, I know.
00:43:45It's on the floor.
00:43:46And if for my health, I have the best doctors in the world.
00:43:48I have the best help.
00:43:49I have the best of everything.
00:43:51And there is nothing, I repeat, nothing that's wrong with me.
00:43:54Oh!
00:43:55Oh!
00:43:56What is it?
00:43:56My back!
00:43:57Oh!
00:43:59Oh!
00:44:00My back, it's...
00:44:00I got a bad back.
00:44:01It's locked up.
00:44:02Here, grab my back, those are the briefcase.
00:44:04Oh!
00:44:07Oh, yeah.
00:44:08Oh, my God, these?
00:44:09They're useless.
00:44:10They just mask the pain.
00:44:12They don't do anything to solve the problem.
00:44:14Here, let me help you to the couch.
00:44:18Oh, my gosh.
00:44:19Oh!
00:44:19Your back is totally out of whack.
00:44:22I can help you with this.
00:44:24I need Dr. Hurt.
00:44:25Who?
00:44:26My back doctor.
00:44:27Your back doctor is named Dr. Hurt?
00:44:30What's your dentist?
00:44:31Dr. Decay?
00:44:32Oh, Miss Bell, I don't appreciate your sense of humor.
00:44:34A man of my position.
00:44:35Yeah, which is almost horizontal.
00:44:38That may be.
00:44:39That doesn't mean I have to put up with your flippant attitude towards my current situation.
00:44:43You know, I'm almost going to enjoy this.
00:44:45Hang on.
00:44:46It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:47Oh!
00:44:48Ah!
00:44:49It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:50It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:50It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:51It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:51It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:52It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:52It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:53It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:54It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:54It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:55It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:55It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:56It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:56It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:57It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:58It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:58It's going to hurt a little.
00:44:59It's going to hurt a little.
00:45:00It's going to hurt a little.
00:45:01It's going to hurt a little.
00:45:02It's going to hurt a little.
00:45:03It's going to hurt a little.
00:46:04Even if we spend some time alone, help to know there's a place to go.
00:46:11Cause you and me, that's how it's meant to be.
00:46:16Laughing with each other through the years.
00:46:18Laughing with each other.
00:46:48Laughing with each other.
00:47:18I don't think you're crazy.
00:47:21I'm sure there's a perfectly rational explanation for why you can suddenly communicate with a horse.
00:47:26So tell me how it began.
00:47:29Okay, well, I was hiding from Pete and Craig because I kind of tricked them out of some money earlier.
00:47:34But that is only because they torture me every single morning of my life.
00:47:39Like, one morning, they moved my alarm clock just out of reach and then tied my foot to the bedpost.
00:47:44So when I got up to turn it off...
00:47:46Don't get hooked.
00:48:01Through the...
00:48:08And most recently, they poured shaving cream in my hand while I was sleeping.
00:48:28It tickled my nose, and I hit myself, and...
00:48:30You never told me about that one.
00:48:31...happened this morning.
00:48:34Well, now I really don't feel too bad about taking their money.
00:48:35Okay. So, skipping ahead, you say you were hiding from your brothers, and...
00:48:39And I was in Horatio's stable, and they didn't find me, and they finally left.
00:48:43I got out, closed the door, and...
00:48:45And the horseshoe fell and knocked her out cold.
00:48:47Exactly.
00:48:48I think I missed a section there.
00:48:50Right. You can't hear him.
00:48:52Stop chiming in, Horatio.
00:48:54So, this horseshoe is above Horatio's stable, so...
00:48:58When I closed the door, it fell, clunked me in the head,
00:49:01and when I woke up, I could hear Horatio speaking to me.
00:49:03Okay. So, maybe we're dealing with a magical explanation rather than a rational one,
00:49:09but at least we have the cause.
00:49:11It is supposed to be a lucky horseshoe.
00:49:13That's true.
00:49:15Wait. Maybe that's it.
00:49:18Since I'm the only one who got hit in the head,
00:49:20maybe I'm the only one who could hear Horatio speaking.
00:49:22I guess that's one theory.
00:49:24Well, we can test it.
00:49:25How?
00:49:25Hit him with the horseshoe and see what happens.
00:49:28It's not a bad idea.
00:49:30What's not a bad idea?
00:49:30Horatio suggested that if I hit you with the horseshoe,
00:49:34maybe you'll be able to hear him too.
00:49:35That's a horrible idea.
00:49:36Why?
00:49:37It sounds like it involves pain.
00:49:38No, we don't have to hit you that hard.
00:49:40How about a little tap on the head?
00:49:42Really?
00:49:44Okay, but be gentle.
00:49:48Ow!
00:49:49Can you hear me?
00:49:51Did he say anything?
00:49:52What we've got here is a failure to communicate.
00:49:55Let me try again.
00:49:56Hit him again.
00:49:57Ow!
00:49:58Can you hear me now?
00:49:59Anything?
00:50:00I hear slight ringing.
00:50:01Sounds like we're on the right track.
00:50:03Hit him again.
00:50:03Harder!
00:50:04Ow!
00:50:05How about now?
00:50:07Can you hear him now?
00:50:07I can't hear anything now.
00:50:09Once more.
00:50:11Ow!
00:50:13Oh, God.
00:50:15Wes?
00:50:15Wes, speak to me.
00:50:17I knocked him out.
00:50:18Well, that's what happened to you.
00:50:20When he wakes up, hopefully he'll be able to understand me.
00:50:22Yes, if he wakes up.
00:50:24I don't believe this.
00:50:25The first guy I actually like.
00:50:27And I kill him.
00:50:29Okay.
00:50:30Wes, wake up.
00:50:32Hi.
00:50:36Up and at him.
00:50:38Time to wake up.
00:50:38Let's go.
00:50:42Hello, Wes.
00:50:43Nice day, isn't it?
00:50:45Yes, Mr. Tree.
00:50:46It's very nice.
00:50:47I see you're branching out all over.
00:50:50Hey, watch where you're stepping, buddy.
00:50:55Sorry, blades of grass.
00:50:56I didn't see you growing there.
00:51:03Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
00:51:04Hey, I heard that.
00:51:05You want to know what I heard?
00:51:07Juliet is looking for you, and she has something to say.
00:51:10Horatio said you have something to tell me.
00:51:22What is it?
00:51:24Yuck!
00:51:26That did the trick.
00:51:28I think I might have hit you a little too hard.
00:51:30Sorry.
00:51:31You think?
00:51:31Because I don't even believe my brain's functioning anymore.
00:51:33Just drop the horseshoe, okay?
00:51:35And not on my head this time.
00:51:37Sorry.
00:51:38It was a dumb move.
00:51:39I should have never listened to a talking horse.
00:51:43Are you okay?
00:51:45I feel like I have a hangover, and I don't even drink.
00:51:47Well, you know what they say.
00:51:48You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him wink.
00:51:51It's drink, not wink.
00:51:53Oh, right.
00:51:55That makes sense.
00:51:56Why would you bring a horse to water to make him wink?
00:51:58That's just silly.
00:51:59Besides, I wink all the time.
00:52:00Well, I drink too, so I don't know what the point is actually of saying all that.
00:52:04It's a metaphor.
00:52:05It means that everyone's supposed to take control of their own lives.
00:52:07You can't force a person to do something they don't want to do.
00:52:10Which is probably why hitting someone in the head with a horseshoe
00:52:12isn't going to suddenly make them believe in something like...
00:52:14Being able to hear a talking horse?
00:52:16Exactly.
00:52:18Wes, who are you having this conversation with?
00:52:21I was just responding to Harish.
00:52:23Yo.
00:52:24Why are you staring at me like that?
00:52:25He's...
00:52:26He's talking.
00:52:28Oh, not again.
00:52:29He's talking.
00:52:56Oh, my gosh, I feel so good.
00:53:11What did you do?
00:53:12Just a little alignment to get you back on track, so to speak.
00:53:16This is amazing.
00:53:18I haven't felt this good since Bev.
00:53:20What?
00:53:23Well, my wife used to give me back massages when we were together.
00:53:26And, uh, I do miss that.
00:53:29Yeah, well, a man can miss a lot of things when he doesn't take a moment to stop and look around.
00:53:36Drink up.
00:53:37What is this?
00:53:38It's good for you. Drink it.
00:53:40I'm allergic to a lot of things.
00:53:41I'm not supposed to have a lot of sugar or starch.
00:53:43Dairy's out of the question. It's pretty much just fruits, so...
00:53:46Don't be such a baby and drink this stuff.
00:53:50If your doctors told you that living was bad for your health,
00:53:53that you would seriously consider trying not to do it.
00:53:56Wow, I can feel my nasal passages starting to open up.
00:53:59Yeah, it's my own special herbal brand.
00:54:01It's much better than that stuff you get on the shelves.
00:54:05I can breathe.
00:54:06I can actually breathe.
00:54:07Yeah.
00:54:08And breathing is good for you.
00:54:10I'm sure your doctors would not even disagree with that.
00:54:13You know, I used to own a home in the countryside.
00:54:15Had a lot of good times there.
00:54:18Oh, Wes was barely three when we moved to the city,
00:54:20so he might not remember much of it.
00:54:22That's a shame.
00:54:23Why did you leave?
00:54:26Well, I'm closer to work.
00:54:28And then when Bev left me,
00:54:30I just had too many memories there, so we sold the place.
00:54:33Yeah.
00:54:34I guess it was time.
00:54:37Yeah, well, that's what I'm good at, right?
00:54:40Buying and selling.
00:54:41Not so much on the long-term investment.
00:54:43Ask my ex-wives.
00:54:45Yeah, that was Ryan's speciality.
00:54:47Building and developing.
00:54:48But he was also good at nurturing the kids.
00:54:51You're good at that too, Miss Bell.
00:54:54Kim.
00:54:55Monty.
00:54:58By the way, do you have any more of this wonderful tea?
00:55:00Yeah, I do.
00:55:02And...
00:55:03I'll take another look at those contracts, too.
00:55:08Okay.
00:55:11Continue on your way, Spawn.
00:55:13What's going on?
00:55:43Wesley?
00:55:46Les?
00:55:48Now what are we going to do?
00:55:50I didn't do anything to him.
00:55:52He's just horsing around.
00:55:53No, he's passed out.
00:55:55Well, get the pail. Splash him.
00:55:58It's empty.
00:55:59I don't want to drown the poor guy.
00:56:01So, he just fell asleep?
00:56:03Pretty much.
00:56:04Then why don't you try what they do in all those stories?
00:56:07What stories?
00:56:08You know, the ones you used to read to me when we were growing up.
00:56:10About the prince and the princess.
00:56:12Which one?
00:56:13I don't know. It doesn't matter.
00:56:15They all end up the same way.
00:56:17The princess kisses the prince and he wakes up.
00:56:19No, the prince is always the one to kiss the princess.
00:56:21Not the other way around. Then she wakes up.
00:56:23It's never the other way around?
00:56:26No, not unless the prince is a frog or some other type of animal.
00:56:29Then he turns into a prince.
00:56:31Is that why you were always kissing me when we were younger?
00:56:34It's worth a try.
00:56:35Well then, isn't it worth a shot?
00:56:38Come on, be the first. Start a fashion.
00:56:41Your first kiss.
00:56:42I'm so proud.
00:56:44I wish I had a camera.
00:56:45Don't watch me.
00:56:46Juliet.
00:56:59Juliet.
00:56:59Juliet.
00:57:00Is that all you can say?
00:57:04Wherefore art thou, Juliet?
00:57:06Sitting next to a pile of manure, if you must know.
00:57:09I had the strangest dream.
00:57:11That you were talking with Horatio?
00:57:12Yeah, but then I had another dream where I thought I woke up and...
00:57:16I was still talking to you?
00:57:19How you doing, Romeo?
00:57:22Is this like a dream within a dream within a nightmare?
00:57:25Depends.
00:57:26Did you think I kissed you in the dream or the nightmare?
00:57:29You kissed me? For real?
00:57:31Cool.
00:57:33So, that means this is...
00:57:35Really happening?
00:57:36A horse is talking to me.
00:57:38A horse is actually speaking. To me.
00:57:40He can speak to me, too.
00:57:41Jules, when the world finds out about this...
00:57:43Yeah, that's kind of the hard part. Remember?
00:57:45Oh, yeah.
00:57:46We can't exactly go around bashing people in the head with that thing.
00:57:49Some might get upset.
00:57:50And who knows how much luck is left in that horseshoe.
00:57:52There may be a limited supply.
00:57:54We have to find my dad.
00:57:55Yeah, and convince my mom not to sell.
00:57:57Not when there are miracles happening here.
00:57:59You're right.
00:58:00This discovery is a lot more important than another dumb shopping mall.
00:58:03Bring the horseshoe.
00:58:04Maybe if we both explain it to them.
00:58:06We'll be back.
00:58:08Not so fast.
00:58:09Nobody's leaving here until we settle a certain amount of debt.
00:58:12Yeah, you want some money from us earlier.
00:58:13And we want a rematch with a game you can't possibly cheat at.
00:58:16Cards.
00:58:17Really?
00:58:18You don't think people cheat at cards?
00:58:19Not the way we play.
00:58:20We don't like that.
00:58:40You've done a really beautiful job here, Kim.
00:59:02Did you decorate yourself?
00:59:05Mostly.
00:59:06Interior design has always been a hobby of mine.
00:59:08I'd say it's more than a hobby.
00:59:10Magical figures, incredible tea, great taste.
00:59:13Could be the perfect woman.
00:59:15You cook?
00:59:17Okay, so nobody's perfect.
00:59:19But I do make a mean lasagna.
00:59:23You know, you were right about this.
00:59:25This is an amazing deal.
00:59:27I would be crazy not to take it.
00:59:29Plus, it'll be a big help next year when the boys go to college with their tuition.
00:59:33Well, feel free to have your lawyers look it over.
00:59:35Oh, they already have.
00:59:37I emailed them the advance copy you sent me.
00:59:40And they basically said I would be a fool not to take the deal.
00:59:43Oh.
00:59:45So?
00:59:46Well, I think I have proven to you that I am not a fool.
00:59:49No, no.
00:59:50You definitely are not.
00:59:53Okay, so I guess there is just one more question, Monty.
00:59:57Yes?
00:59:58Do you have a pen?
00:59:59Thanks.
01:00:00Thanks.
01:00:01Thanks.
01:00:06Thanks.
01:00:37But you don't understand. We have to stop Mom from selling the land. There are magical properties in this horseshoe.
01:00:44She's right, and if we can figure out a way to capitalize on it, we can save your ranch.
01:00:47No, you don't understand. We don't want to save the ranch. Pete and I are going to move back to the city and become world-famous posers.
01:00:53Yeah, you guys are posers, all right.
01:00:55So, we want Mom to sell, and there's no getting in the way of that. Now, we have some money to win back.
01:00:59This time, it's on our rules. Number two tens four five, and we're word games.
01:01:04This time, we're playing cards. These cards never lie.
01:01:06I don't know how to play cards.
01:01:09Well, it's very easy. I'll pick a card from the deck. Bet you $10 versus everything you stole from us today.
01:01:14What's the game?
01:01:15You just have to guess the card. Simple, right?
01:01:19So, what card am I holding? Jewels.
01:01:22Four of spades.
01:01:24Four of spades?
01:01:26What? No, no, no, no, no, no. Best two out of three.
01:01:29Now, what card am I holding?
01:01:33Ten of diamonds.
01:01:35Ten of diamonds.
01:01:37What the?
01:01:38Oh, come on. Seriously?
01:01:40Can you see what card I'm holding?
01:01:43No.
01:01:45It's impossible. Only pretty boy can answer this time.
01:01:48So, what card am I holding, pretty boy?
01:01:51King of hearts.
01:01:52Oh, I don't know. I'm just going to have to take a wild guess, King of Hearts.
01:01:58What the?
01:02:06Pete, what are you doing?
01:02:08I don't know. They guessed the cards. I don't know how. I can't explain it.
01:02:14That was actually kind of fun.
01:02:16That was actually kind of cheating, but you're right. It was fun.
01:02:17Shoot. I forgot the horseshoe.
01:02:19We'll just have to convince them without it. I just hope we're not too late.
01:02:22I can't believe you gave them all our money.
01:02:24They guessed the card. What was I supposed to do?
01:02:25Get our money back. That was the plan, idiot.
01:02:27Don't call me an idiot, moron.
01:02:28Don't call me a moron, idiot.
01:02:30How did that feel?
01:02:31Give me that.
01:02:34Did I knock some cysts into you?
01:02:36Yeah, let me give you back the change.
01:02:39Oh, did that hurt?
01:02:40Let me divert the pain.
01:02:41Oh, gosh.
01:02:44Kids, remember, don't try this at home.
01:02:46If I could just chime in here, for the record, I think you're both idiots.
01:02:52Who asked you?
01:02:54It is I, Horatio, king of all horses, ruler of the stable, drinker from the sacred bucket,
01:03:01and eater of the holy hay and foolish young boys.
01:03:05Those who toy with my magical horseshoe must endure my wrath.
01:03:09Please, no.
01:03:10We didn't mean it.
01:03:11Listen to me now or perish.
01:03:14What breed of horse can jump higher than a house?
01:03:17All breeds.
01:03:18Houses don't jump.
01:03:20What part of a horse has the most hair?
01:03:22The outside.
01:03:25What do you call a horse wearing a Venetian blind?
01:03:28A zebra.
01:03:29Oh, God. Make it stop.
01:03:31That one didn't even make sense.
01:03:33Don't worry, boys.
01:03:34I got a million of them.
01:03:35What's a horse's favorite sickness?
01:03:37Hay fever.
01:03:38Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:03:56Trust me.
01:03:57You won't be sorry.
01:03:59Well, I guess one can't stand in the way of progress.
01:04:03Mom, no.
01:04:04You can't sign.
01:04:04You promised.
01:04:05Dad, did you close the deal?
01:04:07Look around, son.
01:04:07It's all ours.
01:04:09Jules, I know you're upset, but believe me, it's for the best.
01:04:13No, you're wrong.
01:04:14They can't tear down this place.
01:04:15It will destroy the magic.
01:04:17What will happen to Horatio?
01:04:18She's right, Dad.
01:04:19This isn't a normal ranch.
01:04:20It's special.
01:04:22It's one of a kind.
01:04:24The people or the place?
01:04:27Both.
01:04:28They have a talking horse.
01:04:29I know it sounds insane, but he really can talk.
01:04:32It's true, Mom.
01:04:32Not everyone can hear him, but if I just smash you around with...
01:04:35Jules, enough with the games.
01:04:37We'll be happy in the city.
01:04:38You'll see.
01:04:39It'll just take a little getting used to.
01:04:41Where are your brothers?
01:04:42I want to give them the good news.
01:04:44Dad, trust me.
01:04:44Just one swift hit on the head with that thing and you'll see.
01:04:47Don't worry about the brain damage.
01:04:48It'll pass.
01:04:49That won't be necessary, son.
01:04:50I've seen the light and this place is going to be huge.
01:04:52People are going to come from miles around.
01:04:54But it does require one special ingredient to make the whole thing work.
01:04:57I will absolutely need Miss Bell to manage the place.
01:05:01But, Mr. Beetle, I don't know anything about running a mall.
01:05:04Well, you know just about everything else.
01:05:06And once people come in and drink your amazing tea, breathe in the air and get away from the city,
01:05:10you're going to feel 20 years younger.
01:05:12I know.
01:05:13I'm not just the owner.
01:05:14I'm also a client.
01:05:15So welcome to Bell and Beetle's Wonder Ranch, where dreams come true.
01:05:18How's that sound?
01:05:19Monty, do you mean it?
01:05:21You mean we can stay?
01:05:22Dad, are you feeling okay?
01:05:24The answer is yes, yes, and a big, fat yes.
01:05:27I've never felt better.
01:05:28And what about Horatio?
01:05:29Horatio can stay.
01:05:30The animals can stay.
01:05:30We'll get more animals.
01:05:31I want to build this place up to be the most fantastic ranch for humans and animals alike.
01:05:35Let them intermingle.
01:05:36People can pet the animals, can talk to the animals.
01:05:38And some of them might even talk back to you.
01:05:40When did you decide to do all of this?
01:05:42Well, I believe I came down with something since we first arrived here.
01:05:45Oh, really?
01:05:46Is it contagious?
01:05:48I believe so.
01:05:49It comes about when someone gets too far away from their past.
01:05:52I believe I'm homesick.
01:05:55Dad, did you just make a joke?
01:05:57I don't know.
01:05:58Do bad jokes count?
01:05:59Around here they do.
01:06:00Just ask Horatio.
01:06:02We have to tell Horatio.
01:06:03I love you, Mom.
01:06:04You too, Dad.
01:06:05This is great.
01:06:07Well, I think I finally made my son proud.
01:06:10I think the kids have really hit it off.
01:06:12Yeah, with horseshoes.
01:06:14Is that a joke?
01:06:16Watch out.
01:06:17You could just become funny.
01:06:19Yeah?
01:06:19I'll work on it.
01:06:21How about you give me lessons over dinner tonight, Kimberly?
01:06:23Do you like lasagna?
01:06:25I think it may soon become one of my favorite dishes.
01:06:27I can't believe we did it.
01:06:51We didn't even have to prove Horatio could speak.
01:06:53Perhaps it's better if we keep that secret to ourselves.
01:06:56If word gets out that we have a talking horse, everyone will start trying to exploit him.
01:06:59There will be t-shirts, lunchboxes, marketing gimmicks galore.
01:07:02Someone will probably even make a movie about him.
01:07:04Yeah.
01:07:05I guess you're right.
01:07:06We don't need another talking horse movie.
01:07:10No more.
01:07:11No more bad jokes.
01:07:13No more.
01:07:14No more bad jokes.
01:07:15Just stop.
01:07:16Last ad, please.
01:07:17Let it end.
01:07:18It has to stop.
01:07:18Last ad, please.
01:07:19Just let it end.
01:07:20That was odd.
01:07:22I wonder what that was about.
01:07:24There's nothing like a friend
01:07:25Lift you when you die
01:07:27String the world around
01:07:30Make it fun again
01:07:31We're not here on our own
01:07:34Even if we spend some time alone
01:07:37Help to know
01:07:38There's a place to go
01:07:40Cause you and me
01:07:42Is how it's meant to be
01:07:45Laughing with each other
01:07:47Through the years
01:07:48Laughing
01:07:49Laughing
01:07:50Laughing
01:07:51Laughing
01:07:52Laughing
01:07:53Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo
01:09:23Well, you've been a great audience.
01:09:27I hope you all have enjoyed my little tale.
01:09:29But as you can see, this is definitely...
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