00:00My name is Danielle.
00:02Here's my little slice of the juicy big apple.
00:05I'm a momfluencer with 999,000 followers.
00:09I have famous actors who follow me.
00:11It's like legit skin of a fetus afterward.
00:14I vomited, but I fit into my high school jeans the next morning.
00:18I'm going to get to a mill if it kills me.
00:20Shut the up!
00:22The highlight of my life are my two amazing kids.
00:25Mom, how come we don't have any poor friends?
00:28Dogs can't resist dirt and regret.
00:30I used to have an amazing husband.
00:33Making a mountain out of a molehill.
00:34Going to the special massage place is not a molehill.
00:39Your dog is walked by Yuki?
00:40The one and only.
00:41Matt Damon goes to him for life coaching.
00:43You're my sage.
00:44You have to let it go, Matt.
00:46I finally clawed my way to the capital of the world and never left.
00:52But it doesn't pack the punch I thought it would.
00:55I feel like I got shot out of a camel's ass.
00:58A new high-end soup kitchen has opened serving only miso soup.
01:02I realized all my friends have their charities.
01:04Lifehole for manatees needs your help.
01:07It's time to use my platform for good.
01:10Mm-hmm.
01:10So I decided to become the Mr. Rogers of East 74th Street.
01:15You have a thank you for helping someone else.
01:18My friend's IRL really gotten me through some tough times.
01:21This is exactly what you think it is.
01:24If you call the police, I will burn this place to the ground.
01:28I'm in your life now, and I'm like herpes and political emails.
01:31You're never going to get rid of me.
01:33Wonderful.
01:33They're jealous.
01:34Sweet.
01:35Yeah, it is.
01:37If Marty Scorsese can make an entire Netflix about Fran,
01:41I never heard of Moisturizer Leibowitz, then I can have my own Danielle movie.
01:45Come back.
01:46Ambition, coming for your position.
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