- 4 days ago
Small Prophets S01E05-6 2026
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00The End
00:02Project
00:04Purple
00:30Were they barbecuing last night?
00:44Who?
00:45Him, next door, and his girlfriend.
00:47His name's Michael, and she's not his girlfriend.
00:50Right, well, whoever she is.
00:52Anyway, how do you know?
00:53I bumped into her at the shop.
00:55Kasey, she's nice.
00:56Whatever.
00:57Right, they were barbecuing because I've smelled it.
01:00It was just a bonfire.
01:03There are calls on our drive.
01:06Right, they're chucking barbecue calls on our drive.
01:09What? Why?
01:10I've no idea why.
01:12Why would someone chuck barbecue calls?
01:15I've no idea what goes through that man's head, okay?
01:18It's some sort of game he's playing with me.
01:20He thinks he can get to me.
01:21You know, he thinks he can get under my skin.
01:26Who are you phoning?
01:28The council.
01:28Anti-social behaviour.
01:30It's only eight o'clock.
01:31There'll be no one there.
01:35Right.
01:36I've got to go.
01:38Go and knock on for him and tell him to clean it up,
01:40but take photos first, all right, for evidence.
01:42And then phone the council and report it.
01:45Anti-social behaviour.
01:46Yeah.
01:46Yes, sir.
01:47I know we're older now and lost again.
01:57Down at the cul-de-sac you left, my friend.
02:05Will you come back, come back again?
02:17Will you come back, come back again?
02:24I put the kettle on the wise man's song for you.
02:33Hi, Hilary.
02:34I took a needle and thread to make amends with you.
02:48Oh, hello, love.
02:49Thanks for ringing.
02:50Is he okay?
02:51I don't know, love.
02:51He's stressing about something, but I can't figure it out.
02:54I don't think he really knows.
02:55He's in his room.
02:56Cheers.
03:14Oh.
03:15Oh, it's you.
03:17They'd better not have called you.
03:18Did they call you?
03:19I've just come to see you like I always do.
03:21I've told them not to disturb you.
03:22What's up, Dad?
03:27Hilary says you're getting stressed.
03:28Are you worried about something?
03:30It's all this tut, you know, crowding me in.
03:33I have to sort it out.
03:34I can't find anything.
03:35Okay, I can help you with that.
03:37Is there something that you're looking for?
03:38Yeah, well, what was it he said was lost?
03:41Something hidden.
03:42Sorry, who's this?
03:43Him.
03:44Him who came looking for something.
03:47A book.
03:47A bird book.
03:48Dad, you're getting in a state now.
03:50You're getting right confused.
03:51They're constantly getting at me.
03:53Asking me to find things.
03:54Okay, I'll tell you what.
03:56I can take some away today.
03:57Let's fill a box with stuff that you don't think you'll need
03:59and I'll keep it at my house till you need it again.
04:01No, you can throw it all away.
04:02I don't want any of it.
04:03It's all junk.
04:04Come on, Dad.
04:05Let's sort through some and we can take it from there.
04:10What you got there?
04:11It's my old pal Vic Whiffen.
04:13Passed away.
04:14Not many of us left now.
04:17Oh, I'm sorry, Dad.
04:19That's your friend from Canada.
04:20Yeah, yeah.
04:22I got a letter from him only a week ago.
04:24I was always going to go and visit him, but too late now.
04:30Did you just find this?
04:32Hmm?
04:33Nothing.
04:35You say you had a letter from him last week?
04:37A couple of days ago.
04:39It's on the side there.
04:40He asked about you.
04:44Always asked about you.
04:47A couple of days ago.
04:48I don't know.
05:18I don't know.
05:48I don't know.
06:18Excuse me.
06:20Hello, love.
06:21Do you sell tit boxes?
06:24Tit boxes?
06:25Yes.
06:28Boxes for...
06:30Tits.
06:32Hmm.
06:35Blue tits?
06:36Like a nesting box?
06:39Yes.
06:40They'll be in the garden section, if we have them.
06:46I'm sorry, it doesn't look like we do.
06:48Oh, well.
06:55I'll tell you what.
06:57I might be able to help.
06:59Might, yeah?
07:00Yeah, I think so.
07:03Can you come back in, like, an hour?
07:06Yeah, all right.
07:08I'll go do the rest of my shopping.
07:09Smashing.
07:11I'll see you back here.
07:12In an hour?
07:14That's it.
07:20Oh, the nine-pound hammer
07:21Is a little too heavy
07:23Maybe for my son
07:25Honey for my son
07:27So roll on, buddy
07:29Don't you know so slow
07:31How can I roam
07:33When the wheels won't go
07:58Michael, what the hell?
07:59What the heck?
08:07What are you doing?
08:13Tit box
08:13Customer wanted one
08:15Michael, what's wrong with you?
08:17This is not...
08:19We don't...
08:20We don't sell something
08:22We don't think...
08:22Oh, here she comes
08:23Hello, madam
08:24There you go
08:26Oh, that's lovely, thank you
08:28Hello, Gordon
08:30Hello, Mrs Stewart
08:31How's your mum?
08:32Is she all right?
08:33She's well, thank you, Mrs Stewart
08:34How much is this?
08:41Um, it's on us, Mrs Stewart
08:43With our compliments
08:44Thanks
08:45Give my love to your mum
08:47Bye, love
08:49Why didn't we come back to work yesterday?
08:58We?
08:58You
08:59You said don't bother coming back?
09:01As a threat?
09:02As in, if you leave, don't bother coming back because you're fired?
09:06An employer is not allowed to refuse an employee reasonable time off
09:10In order to deal with an unexpected event involving a dependent
09:14Well...
09:15Because that would be unfair dismissal
09:16And you would be guilty of unfair dismissal
09:19And I would take you to court for unfair dismissal
09:22Get this cleaned up
09:24That's a check
09:40Anybody want to have a chat with us, he'd over there, all right?
09:45Thank you
09:47All right?
09:58Yeah
09:58Hey, listen to this
10:02My dad got this letter from his friend in Canada
10:04Right
10:05Dear Brian, thank you for your last letter
10:08All's well here across the pond
10:10Although the winter still goes on a bit
10:12And then
10:15How's your boy, Michael?
10:18I'm always interested to hear what he's up to
10:21Is he well?
10:22Did he ever find a new partner and settle down?
10:25Is he happy these days?
10:26I hope so
10:27Blah, blah, blah
10:29Your dear friend, Vic
10:30So?
10:33Well, number one, I don't think I've ever met the bloke
10:35So I don't know why he's so interested in what I'm up to
10:37He's just being friendly
10:38And number two, he died over a decade ago
10:42Died?
10:43Passed away, dead
10:45In 2009
10:46And how old's the letter?
10:49Written two weeks ago
10:50Canada?
10:54Yeah
10:55And you're sure he's dead?
11:00I've seen the order of service from the funeral
11:02I googled him
11:03Found his obituary
11:04He's dead, all right
11:05Weird
11:06Can ghosts write letters?
11:08I know they can't lick stamps
11:10All right, Michael?
11:20Hello, Brigham
11:21Casey?
11:23Brigham
11:23You were slagging me off yesterday, Gordon
11:27Oh, yeah
11:28And you didn't come back to work
11:29Said he was going to fire you
11:30Yeah
11:30Not that bothered
11:32Not that bothered about getting fired?
11:36Not really
11:36If I'm honest
11:38Don't
11:40You don't want to
11:42Are you okay?
11:48You ain't so fired, mate
11:49Why not?
11:52Is he going to make me laugh?
11:55He's going to come to work on a long bike
11:56Shit without you here, mate
12:02Right
12:06Erm
12:07Cheers, Brigham
12:08Whatever
12:32Hello
12:49It's Roy
12:50Can you speak?
12:51Not really
12:52I need to come over to the house
12:54With a surveyor
12:56Why?
12:56When?
12:58You know why
12:59When?
13:01When's convenient
13:02None
13:02No time
13:03Well, I'm going to come now
13:04Look
13:05It's not
13:06Hey
13:22How do you, Michael?
13:25Yeah, not bad
13:26I was just wondering
13:27If you had an update
13:28On the hedge situation
13:30Yeah
13:30No
13:31I'm sorry
13:32I don't know
13:32Well, I think the chaffinches might be gone by now
13:35So
13:35You had a bird book
13:39The other day
13:40The other day
13:40Yeah, the chaffinches
13:41Where did you get it from?
13:44The book?
13:44Yes
13:45Erm, I think it was my dad's
13:48My dad's?
13:50No, my dad's
13:51Did you go and see my dad?
13:53Your dad?
13:54Yes
13:54At the nursing home
13:55Your dad?
13:58And ask him for a bird book
14:00You what?
14:01Sorry, I don't think I understand this conversation
14:03Yes
14:04Yes
14:04It's confusing
14:06Old enough
14:07Old enough
14:17You are
14:21Old enough
14:24To know
14:29And go away
14:31The long way
14:31This is going
14:35Walk me home
14:43The long way
14:49Go home
14:50And go away
14:56You're not going
15:00I am
15:05I am
15:06In the evening
15:09The hour
15:11And the third
15:12In the morning
15:15And the morning
15:17Cry
15:18It is broke
15:21Or these days
15:23Hello, Michael.
15:51I'm sorry, I'm not doing this to be a shit.
15:53But I'm desperate, mate.
15:56I'm bankrupt.
15:57It's been a long time coming and this house, it belongs to me.
16:01Sorry, who's that?
16:03She's a surveyor.
16:04I just wanted her to come and have a look around
16:06so we can figure out what needs to be done
16:09before people can start viewing the property.
16:13Nice to meet you, Michael.
16:16So, can we come in, please?
16:19Well, I've set some chairs up in the garden, actually.
16:21We've come to see the house, mate, not the garden.
16:23What, you need to give me more time to tidy up and stuff.
16:26Hey, I need some more time to tidy up, Roy!
16:29Jesus Christ, what is all this shit?
16:32What, you stop piling?
16:33It's this way. Come through.
16:39Come through. It's this way.
16:40Oh, my God, look at this.
16:52It's Christmas, 1979.
16:55It's me, Mum, Claire.
16:57Yeah, would you like to come through?
16:58The action man helicopter.
17:01Mum thought it came with an action man.
17:03But it didn't.
17:11I never did get an action man.
17:14It's this way.
17:20What's that?
17:22Minure.
17:23Stinks.
17:23The house is going on the market in three weeks' time, Michael.
17:31Three weeks?
17:32Sorry, Michael.
17:33You've got no choice.
17:35It's going to happen.
17:36I'm sorry, I thought you were a surveyor.
17:38Solicitor.
17:39You said that she was a surveyor.
17:41Did I?
17:42I meant solicitor.
17:44Well, I'll need to talk to my solicitor.
17:46You don't have a solicitor.
17:47Then I shall get a solicitor.
17:49You should get one.
17:50I'm going to get a solicitor.
17:51It would be much easier if I had a lawyer to deal with.
17:55Easier?
17:56For who?
17:56For everyone, Michael.
17:57Christ.
17:58Do not make this more difficult than it needs to be, please.
18:01And the house obviously needs to be cleared.
18:05What's in the boxes?
18:06I don't know.
18:07What do you mean you don't know?
18:08I mean I don't know.
18:09I don't know what's in the boxes.
18:10They're not mine.
18:11Well, whose are they then?
18:12They're your sisters.
18:13They're Clears.
18:16It's stock that she left behind in lock-ups when she went.
18:19Second-hand books, I think, mainly.
18:24Right.
18:25Well, we can help you to get rid of them.
18:28Oh, get rid of them.
18:29To figure out what to do with them.
18:43So what else do you need to know?
18:46So much, mate.
18:47So much.
18:58Hiya, it's me.
18:59Do you want to come round?
19:02It's time.
19:03I think we should probably wear these two just to be on the safe side.
19:18No, mate.
19:19Look, whatever's supposed to have happened to them in their little shit pit has either happened or it hasn't, right?
19:24Me wearing a Dunelm dressing gown isn't going to change anything.
19:27Fair enough.
19:27Right.
19:34I'm going in.
19:38Okay.
19:39Hello, Casey.
19:45Hiya, Bev.
19:46This is Clive, my husband.
19:48Clive, this is Casey.
19:49Oh, cool.
19:50How you doing, Casey?
19:51Has he got you slaving, has he?
19:53Slaving?
19:54No, mate.
19:55I'm just helping out.
19:56Oh, God.
19:56Yeah, you probably can't say that nowadays.
19:59No, you can't.
20:00Oh.
20:00It's a minefield, isn't it?
20:01No, not really.
20:03What are you wearing that for?
20:04I don't want to get dirty, do I, Bev?
20:06You walleye.
20:07Right, I'll see you later, love.
20:08See ya.
20:08See you later, Casey.
20:12Why do you always do that?
20:13Do what?
20:14Pretend to be nice.
20:16What the hell is that supposed to mean?
20:17Well, I know you're going to say something fucking horrible about her now.
20:26I can't find them.
20:28What?
20:28They must have sunk into the ground.
20:30They should be right here.
20:32Casey, I nearly went under.
20:45What's going on?
20:46Where are they?
20:46I don't know.
20:47Just wait, wait.
20:49Hold me arm.
20:49Yeah, I am.
20:53Okay, okay, I've got them.
20:55Yeah, they've gone right under.
20:58Pull us out.
20:59Ah!
21:00We're going to have to rethink this.
21:13I can feel it.
21:15Is it the right way up?
21:17Yeah, I've got it by its neck.
21:19Right, give it a gentle pull.
21:20Here it comes.
21:25Gently.
21:26Gently.
21:39You got it?
21:40Yeah.
21:40Okay, take her inside.
21:41Take her inside.
21:54Oh, shit.
22:02I'll go ahead.
22:02Okay.
22:03Okay.
22:03Okay.
22:03Okay.
22:03Okay.
22:04Okay.
22:04Hurry up!
22:18All right!
22:19Get out!
22:22Come on.
22:28Ugh.
22:30Yeah.
22:31Yeah.
22:58they've grown
23:05they've reached the stage of whatever
23:08the state of divination
23:11I don't know
23:13how do you find out?
23:15I have to ask them a question
23:17go on then
23:25I don't know what to ask
23:27mate, you told me what you wanted to ask
23:29yeah, but we should ask them a test question
23:31first, you know
23:32see if it works
23:34so what can they answer questions on?
23:38anything
23:38the future, the past, anything
23:41okay
23:44okay, yeah
23:46we'll use these, yeah
23:49pick a card and get it to tell us what it is
23:51okay
23:52how will it tell us?
23:54mate, I don't know
23:55go on, ask it
23:59talk to it
24:00do you want to play cards?
24:07yeah, cards
24:08your majesty
24:10oh yeah, sorry
24:10would you like to play cards, your majesty?
24:18okay
24:18okay, um, your majesty
24:21what card will I take from the top of the deck?
24:30whoa
24:31oh my god
24:32the four of hearts
24:33oh wait, shuffle them again
24:36why? he's chosen
24:38yeah, but if he's predicting the future
24:39you can shuffle them again
24:40you can shuffle them as many times as you like
24:42it won't make a difference
24:43once more
24:50holy shit
25:01okay
25:01alright, your majesty
25:03again
25:05seven of diamonds?
25:18well, I guess it worked
25:19okay
25:20okay, so
25:21we know that they can
25:22predict the future
25:24what else can they do?
25:25can they solve a crime?
25:26tell you your deepest secret?
25:28I suppose so
25:28what about someone else's secret?
25:30yeah, I suppose
25:31your majesty
25:32I would like you to tell me
25:34when was the last time
25:36Michael cried?
25:37whoa, whoa
25:37hang on
25:38no, he can't do that
25:39do you cry at Brokeback Mountain?
25:49well, I mean
25:50you know
25:50it's a sad film
25:51brilliant
25:52okay, what else?
25:54what else can we ask?
25:55are there any sports happening now?
25:57there must be
25:57somewhere in the world, right?
26:00yes
26:01here
26:01Copenhagen
26:03versus
26:03Skanderborg
26:04Danish women's handball
26:06there's like
26:06ten minutes left
26:07okay, okay
26:08so what do we ask?
26:10your majesty
26:11right now
26:13Ajax
26:14Cobenhaven
26:15it's Ajax
26:16are playing Skanderborg
26:19at home
26:20in Denmark
26:20can you tell me
26:22will
26:23Copenhagen
26:24win?
26:27okay
26:27so
26:28the other team
26:29Skanderborg
26:29are going to win
26:30and what will
26:32the final score be?
26:3631
26:3629
26:38okay
26:38what's the score now?
26:4028 all
26:41come on
26:43the other team
26:43is
26:44but
26:44it's
26:44the other team
26:45that's
26:46the other team
26:47are going to win
26:48six
26:49the other team
26:50the other team
26:50come in
26:51and
26:51and
26:52and
26:53and
26:53and
26:53and
26:54and
26:54and
26:55Oh, my God!
26:59Oh, my God!
27:00Oh, my God!
27:02Oh, my God!
27:16It's time to go!
27:18We can't wait!
27:25Oh, my God!
27:49He's filling buckets again.
27:51That man is an imbecile.
27:53Why does filling buckets make him an imbecile?
27:55You just don't like him because he's different from you
27:57and you don't understand people who are different from you.
27:59Why is he always in that shed?
28:00What's he doing down there?
28:01He's got pets.
28:03What kind of pets?
28:04I don't know. Animals. In jars.
28:07Fish!
28:08Fish?
28:09Listen, I don't know and I don't care.
28:11He can do what he wants in his own shed.
28:13Just leave him alone.
28:15We'll go!
28:26Oh, we'll go.
28:33Do it.
28:56Do it.
29:26Do it.
29:56Do it.
30:26Do it.
30:27Do it.
30:28Do it.
30:29Do it.
30:30Do it.
30:31Do it.
30:32Do it.
30:36Do it.
30:37Do it.
30:39Do it.
30:41Do it.
30:42Do it.
30:48Hello? Hello, Michael's phone. Hello?
31:08Michael?
31:13Michael!
31:18Good morning, Your Majesty's.
31:23Okay.
31:25Who will answer me a question?
31:30Will you?
31:32Will you tell me the truth?
31:35Okay.
31:37I want to know something really specific.
31:40Okay?
31:42Something really stupid.
31:44Will I...
31:52Will I ever be in Neighbours?
31:54No?
31:55No?
31:56No?
31:58No?
32:00You're okay?
32:02You're okay?
32:04Okay?
32:06You're okay?
32:08Okay, okay, yeah, one more question.
32:11Your Majesty, I need you to tell me some numbers.
32:14Six numbers.
32:17Six numbers.
32:22Hello, Animal Watch. Can I help you?
32:24Yeah, hiya. My neighbour's got monkeys in his shed.
32:28Okay, can I take your name, please?
32:30Is this a good number to contact, John?
32:32You don't need to contact me, okay?
32:34You'd prefer to remain anonymous?
32:35Now, I would like to report my neighbour, Michael Sleep.
32:40Okay, can I have a brief understanding of what it is you're calling about today?
32:43I've just told you, for God's sake.
32:45My neighbour, Michael Sleep, has got monkeys in his shed.
32:50Okay, there's no need to talk to me like that, sir.
32:53Like what? I'm trying to report monkeys here, pal.
32:55Is the animal in a situation that requires urgent human help?
32:59Well, do you not need a licence to keep monkeys?
33:01Well, certain species of monkeys you do, yeah.
33:03Is this animal in a situation that requires urgent human help?
33:06Well, I'd say keeping shaved monkeys in jars of water probably isn't good for them, wouldn't you?
33:11I'm sorry, your neighbour has shaved monkeys in jars of water?
33:15That's what I've said!
33:17Right, and he's put them in clothes.
33:19How many monkeys?
33:21Three.
33:23Are you sure they're monkeys?
33:24Right, I'm not sure what I've seen, to be honest, pal, but I know I didn't like it.
33:27Right, I'm struggling slightly with this information.
33:29Do you maybe want to calm down, have a think about exactly what it is you wish to report and phone us back?
33:35No, I'd like somebody to come and investigate.
33:38Can I take your address?
33:40I'm not giving you my address!
33:42Thank you for your call.
33:48Fuck!
33:53Bloody hell.
33:54Water book was empty.
33:55Had to go down the canal.
33:56Give us a hand.
33:58Yeah, sorry.
33:59Sorry.
34:08Is he alright?
34:12He looks different.
34:17What's wrong with them?
34:18I don't know.
34:19Did you speak to them when I was gone? Did you ask them any questions?
34:27No.
34:32You need to ask them about Cleo.
34:34I know.
34:35When?
34:36Soon. I'm not ready.
34:38Right, well, you might not have much time. I mean, they don't look well.
34:40I'll ask tonight.
34:41We'd better get to work.
34:43Yeah, right, okay.
34:47Yeah, right, okay.
34:48Oh, your phone rang while you were getting water, but they didn't say anything. There was someone on the other end, but I don't think they could hear me.
35:00British Columbia?
35:01That's the one. Where's British Columbia?
35:02That's the one. Where's British Columbia?
35:03Michael?
35:04Eh?
35:05Where's British Columbia?
35:06Canada.
35:07Canada.
35:08Canada.
35:11Canada.
35:13What?
35:14Oh, your phone rang while you were getting water, but they didn't say anything. There was someone on the other end, but I don't think they could hear me.
35:18British Columbia?
35:19That's the one. Where's British Columbia?
35:22Michael?
35:23Eh?
35:24Where's British Columbia?
35:26Canada.
35:27Hello, mate.
35:57Hello, mate.
36:28Well, he just drove off sometimes by the cake.
36:31I read my mouth off the thick, too much of what did I say.
36:37Well, you just laughed it off, it was all okay.
36:40And we'll all float on the cake.
36:54Yeah, it's me.
37:11Okay, post is clear.
37:15All right, all right, and we'll all float on.
37:20All right, all ready, we'll all float on.
37:24All right, don't worry, we'll all float on.
37:29All right, don't worry, we'll all float on.
37:33All right, all ready, we'll all float on.
37:36All right, don't worry, we'll all float on.
37:38What sort of time do you call this?
37:43Yes, exactly.
37:44What sort of time do you call this?
37:46You should have been here an hour ago.
37:47We slept in.
37:51Are you two...
37:52What?
37:54An item.
37:55Noah!
37:56Jesus!
37:57Are you having a laugh?
37:58I'm old enough to be here, Dad.
37:59Right.
38:00Babe.
38:01What's going on?
38:02Do you mind, Brigham?
38:04No.
38:04What's going on?
38:05Head office are due here any minute, and if I weren't so desperately short-staffed,
38:09and if I didn't so desperately need you on the shop floor, I would fire you right here
38:13on the spot.
38:14Right.
38:15But you're not going to?
38:17Um, no, I just said I can't because I desperately need you here.
38:22Well, that told us.
38:24Have you got any long bike, Michael?
38:25Brigham, we haven't got to...
38:26Head office are due here any minute.
38:28I feel like I'm running a nursery school here, or a circus.
38:33Don't answer that.
38:34Don't answer...
38:35Michael, don't answer it.
38:38Hello, Hillary.
38:39Bloody Hillary again.
38:40He's done what?
38:41Michael, shut.
38:43Okay, no, I'll come over right now.
38:45Okay.
38:48My dad has won a motorbike.
38:51I need to go over there.
38:52Brigham, I need my bike back!
38:55Brigham!
39:03Hey, sorry, no, you're going to have to move that, love.
39:05I've got to get out here.
39:06You can get your car through there.
39:08And without mounting the pavement, I can't.
39:09Well, then mount the pavement.
39:13It's an Audi.
39:13Excuse me.
39:33Dad, what the hell's going on?
39:35Er, nothing.
39:37What do you mean, nothing?
39:38Where did the bike come from?
39:40Wasn't it Bikes and Beverages magazine?
39:43Have you seen what you've done to the lawn?
39:45Well, it's a bit more powerful than I'm used to.
39:50Off the bike!
39:51Off the bike, Dad!
39:53I'm just getting used to it.
39:58Dad, this is Casey.
40:00She's my friend from work.
40:01She's helping us with the project.
40:03With the profits.
40:04Oh.
40:05Right, I'm going to bring the bike round the front.
40:09Tracy?
40:10Casey.
40:12Stacy?
40:13Casey.
40:13Oh.
40:14Brian.
40:15Nice to meet you, Brian.
40:16I've heard a lot about you.
40:17Nothing good, I hope.
40:18He says you're a pain in the arse.
40:20Excellent.
40:21So how are you getting on with the homunculi?
40:24It must be about time to exhume the jars from the manure.
40:28They're out.
40:28Dug them out last night.
40:29Already?
40:30Yep.
40:31And?
40:32Did he ask his questions about Claire?
40:34Not yet.
40:35No, I think he's building up to it.
40:38Well, he hasn't got much time.
40:40Once they pass the state of divination, they start to deteriorate.
40:43Oh.
40:44Right.
40:45I mean, they were already looking pretty ragged this morning.
40:47And for goodness sake, don't waste time by asking them questions.
40:51Just that every question you ask them wears them out.
40:54Shit.
40:55Have you been wasting questions?
40:58Oh, here they are.
41:00Just apologising, Dad, on your behalf for the mess in the garden.
41:03Don't worry, love.
41:04We need to get back to your house.
41:05Quickly.
41:06What's the rush?
41:08Can we borrow your bike?
41:09Give me two seconds.
41:22Oh, here they are.
41:35Oh, here it is.
41:43Are you joking me?
41:45Hey!
41:45Hello, are you the owner?
41:49Yes
41:49Mr Sleet, Michael Sleet
41:51Who are you?
41:51We're from the Open University
41:53We've reason to believe that there was a very prominent meteor sighted in the area a couple of nights ago and...
41:59Sorry, what do you want?
42:00We're looking for a valuable meteorite
42:03We think it may be in your house
42:04How valuable?
42:08I mean, invaluable as far as further knowledge
42:11No, no, no, how much is it worth? Monetary value?
42:13Dependent on its size and type
42:16Could be worth several thousand pounds
42:18No, you're all right, thank you
42:20Pardon?
42:21Not today, thank you
42:22I am looking for a bird book that could be worth ten million pounds
42:26That kind of knocks your several thousand pounds space rock into a cock tap, doesn't it?
42:31Now
42:31They're my boxes
42:34Right, okay, thank you
42:39Here we go
42:43Michael
42:48I'm trying to move my car out here
42:50Oh, good luck with that, Cliff
42:51You're going to have trouble getting past all this lot
42:53Er, excuse me
42:58Who gave you permission to take all this stuff?
43:02Hello?
43:04More than blankets
43:05Can you go and check on the profits?
43:07I'm going to go and find out what the bloody hole is going on
43:09Hi, Olive
43:10Hello, my girls
43:11Oh, God
43:24Hello, Michael
43:26You're home early
43:27What are you doing, Roy?
43:29I'm taking back my property
43:30That stuff belongs to me
43:32Are you, Michael Sleet?
43:35Who are you?
43:35We're from the Open University
43:37We've reason to believe there was a meteorite landed in this area two nights ago
43:41Is that what you're looking for, too?
43:43No
43:44He's looking for a bird book
43:46You can't do it
43:50You can't do it
44:04You can't do it
44:06You can't do it
44:16It belongs to me, Michael
44:17You are squatting in my house
44:19Right
44:19I'm phoning the police
44:21Nine, nine, nine
44:22Hello
44:24Er, please, please
44:26Michael, hang up
44:26For God's sake
44:27Don't embarrass yourself
44:28Hello
44:28Yes
44:29Er, well, I'm being burgled
44:30Yes
44:31Michael Sleet
44:3230
44:33Marvin Gardens
44:34It's just off the Wilmslow Road
44:35Oh, you know it
44:36Well, they're taking things out of the house
44:39Without my permission
44:40Under the guise of being a removals company
44:42Oh, I'm just going to put you on hold
44:53Give it up, mate
44:54The King is out of his jar
44:58Okay, he's trying to get the Queen
45:00And he's in here somewhere
45:01But I don't know where he's gone
45:02Alright
45:02He, like, attacked me
45:03He jumped on me
45:04Scratched my face
45:04Okay, er, thank you for your call
45:06I'll be there as soon as I possibly can
45:08Bye
45:09Hello, officer
45:14Sorry about that
45:15Where were we?
45:16Burgled
45:1730
45:18Marvin Gardens
45:19It's just
45:20Wilmslow Road
45:21Okay, thank you
45:23Bye
45:23I don't know what to say, Michael
45:26That was ridiculous
45:27Your phone rang halfway through
45:28Do you seriously expect me to believe
45:30The police are here
45:31Why, they're bloody good round here
45:35They're coppers
45:35What do I say?
45:36I'll speak to them
45:37It's legally my property
45:38I'll explain it
45:40I'll be in my shed
45:42Hello there
45:44It's been a mix-up
45:47I think you've had a wasted journey
45:49Are you the owner of this property, sir?
45:52Yes, I am
45:52But there's no burglary
45:53We've had a report
45:54That you're keeping monkeys here
45:55Monkeys?
45:59Mind if we have a look around?
46:01No
46:02Don't yell
46:09You know it upsets them
46:10Right
46:12It's in here somewhere
46:13And it's out of this jar
46:14It's on me face
46:16It was horrible
46:16Like a cold sponge
46:17Alright, alright
46:18Calm down
46:19We've got to get it back in its water
46:21Where is it?
46:23I think it's under those shelves
46:25Over there
46:25Broom
46:26Be careful
46:29It scratches
46:30Your Majesty
46:34It's me
46:36Michael
46:37I've got to get you back in the water, mate
46:39Get him off me
46:47We have matches
46:53Get him
46:55Do you mind opening this up for me?
47:25Bloody hell
47:40Is that the action man helicopter?
47:46Yeah
47:46Okay
47:51I'll knock him off the curtain
47:54You saw something over him
47:57Ready?
48:02Three
48:03Two
48:04One
48:05Get him
48:08Get him
48:09Just
48:09Oh
48:10Oh
48:11Oh
48:13Oh
48:14Oh
48:15Oh
48:16Oh
48:17Oh
48:18Oh
48:19Oh
48:20Oh
48:21Oh
48:22Oh
48:23Oh
48:24Oh
48:24Oh
48:24Oh
48:46Oh
48:48Oh
48:48It's over
48:49I can't let them be discovered.
48:54I'm going to have to put them out of their misery.
48:56You haven't asked your question.
48:57There isn't time.
48:59No, there is time.
49:01If you do it now, okay?
49:03This might be your only chance, mate.
49:04Come on, be brave.
49:06Ask.
49:12Why is it here?
49:13I don't know.
49:15I don't live here.
49:15I miss my house, but my sister's partner lives here.
49:21He's a bit of a strange bloke.
49:23Up to all sorts.
49:26What's his name?
49:27Michael.
49:29Michael Sleep.
49:33Do you know where we can find Mr Sleep?
49:36Yeah, he's in the shed.
49:40I need an answer.
49:43About Clea.
49:45It's about my Clea.
49:50Is Clea alive?
49:51Your Majesty
50:17One last question, mate
50:20Will Claire ever come back home?
50:50Does she love me?
50:57Does Claire love me?
51:00Michael, please
51:04Michael, please
51:06Michael, please
51:08Can I open the door, please?
51:10Michael, please
51:16Michael, please
51:18Michael, please
51:21Michael, please
51:22Michael, please
51:24Oh, my God.
51:54Hang on.
52:09There you go.
52:11Fight amongst yourselves.
52:24What are you going to do now?
52:42I think I have to go to Canada.
52:46How are you going to get there?
52:47Can you get to Canada on a motorbike?
52:52We can try.
52:56Case, I'm so sorry you didn't get to ask your question.
53:02I did.
53:03Actually.
53:05While you were getting water.
53:08And?
53:08I think I have to get to Australia.
53:12No.
53:16Seriously.
53:19You're going to be your neighbours?
53:20Apparently.
53:21Oh.
53:28How are you going to get to Australia?
53:34Might have asked another question.
53:39Split it.
53:43Hopefully it'll be enough to pay for the flight.
53:45Yeah.
53:48And some acting lessons.
53:50All right.
53:51All right.
53:51I put the kettle on
54:11The wise man song
54:13For you
54:14I took the needle and thread
54:21To make amends with you
54:25And the tape rolls on
54:31Another year gone
54:34And I
54:35The way you're killed
Comments