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00:00She is about to bless this stage.
00:04Oh my God, please get excited for the next segment.
00:08The amazing Sarah Jakes Robbins is in the house.
00:15Powered personified, powered by Target.
00:17Please welcome to the stage the incomparable Sarah Jakes Robbins and journalist Danielle Young, y'all.
00:30Testing, hey Essence, how y'all doing?
00:42Hello.
00:42All right.
00:43I'm on?
00:44Yeah, testing, we're on.
00:46Okay.
00:47We're going to swap.
00:48Right, there we go.
00:50Oh my gosh.
00:52I'm up here with Sarah Jakes Robbins.
00:57I know, she's our queen.
01:00This is so important, Sarah.
01:02Not only for us to celebrate Essence's 30th anniversary, but to celebrate you.
01:09Ah.
01:09Yes.
01:10Have y'all read Power Moves?
01:13Y'all got the audio book?
01:16You love to hear Sarah reading it to you, right?
01:20Sarah Jakes Robbins, I told you before, you have done a lot to not only change the game for so many people,
01:28but to personally change how we think about power.
01:33And I hope y'all want to set an intention today.
01:36Y'all want to do that?
01:38Can I hear some noise?
01:40All right.
01:41Today's intention we're going to set with this conversation is to jump deep into self-discovery,
01:48faith, and the essence of power.
01:52Are you ready, Ms. Sarah?
01:53I don't know.
01:54Are you, you say you don't know?
01:56Well, I love to start my interviews by asking, besides your name and what you do, who are you?
02:03And what is one thing that you love most about who you are?
02:07Oh, I am a woman on a journey of seeing herself the way that God sees her
02:17and trusting what God sees over my insecurities, my fears, other people's projections.
02:25And one of the things I love the most about me is that I have found contentment being by myself.
02:35So I don't feel the need to have a lot of validation or affirmation from other people.
02:43If I can get by myself, I can recenter and anchor myself.
02:47That is beautiful.
02:48Y'all can clap for that.
02:49That's good.
02:50Write that down in your devotionals and whatnot.
02:53I really love that because so many times when you make it to a level like yours,
02:58people think it's the things, you know, the things that you get,
03:01the things that you accumulate that matter, the titles.
03:05But you are saying it is you.
03:08You are your power.
03:10Yeah, I resist the notion of like making it to levels
03:13because I think it makes my life about performance.
03:17And I am really here to be an offering
03:20and to understand what I can give to any given moment.
03:24And if I am constantly seeking level after level,
03:27it puts a level of pressure on me that makes me become something
03:33instead of embracing all of who I am.
03:36So I'm really, really careful,
03:39even as things continue to like grow and progress,
03:42of like hanging on to who I am at my core, you know?
03:45Yeah.
03:46How do you do that?
03:47How do you feel free to keep clapping?
03:49I love it.
03:50Yes.
03:51How do you do that?
03:53How does one hang on to exactly who they are,
03:56especially when the world is worlding, things are happening?
04:02If sometimes you can feel outside of yourself,
04:05how do you hold on to who you are?
04:08I think a lot of that has to do with giving yourself space
04:12to hear your own truth.
04:15I think that oftentimes we get so busy
04:18pursuing someone else's version of who we're supposed to be,
04:22or we get so busy pursuing who we think we should be
04:25based off of what we've gone through or what we have.
04:28But to create a space where I can hear my own voice,
04:31to create a space where I can hear my own wants,
04:34my own pain, my own feelings,
04:36I have to create that space intentionally.
04:39And that is part of understanding what my truth is
04:42so that I'm showing up in the world fully present
04:45and not trying to live up to other people's expectations.
04:49Ain't that real?
04:51Outside validation is literally nothing.
04:54It is.
04:54But also, if you aren't careful, it becomes everything.
04:58And it happens so subtly that we miss the moments
05:02where we're living for the praise of other people.
05:04It happens so subtly.
05:06And then when we experience disappointment,
05:08we have to remind ourselves that in some instances,
05:11I needed the disappointment
05:13because me living up to their expectation
05:15was me already disappointing my authenticity.
05:19And so when you reject me,
05:20when I somehow don't live up to who you needed me to be,
05:24it actually gives me permission to show up
05:27as someone who makes mistakes,
05:29who doesn't do everything well.
05:31And now I have the gift of authenticity.
05:34Yeah, I love that.
05:35Yeah.
05:36The gift of authenticity.
05:38And speaking of gifts,
05:40Power Moves is such a gift.
05:43Shout out to all of you who have it already.
05:46And shame on you for not having,
05:48I'm just playing.
05:49Now's your chance to make sure you get Power Moves.
05:52But this is Sarah's latest book.
05:54And it does a lot to help us understand our power.
05:57And if you know anything about Ms. Sarah Jakes Roberts,
06:01you will know that she is very transparent about her journey.
06:06And it's a getting here.
06:08And in that journey, you know,
06:09you experienced things that in the Christian community
06:13would be considered bad or wrong.
06:15And you were able to take it
06:17and live your life in a way that is so authentically you
06:21and powerful in that.
06:23And I love that you share your story so authentically.
06:27And I'm curious,
06:29since we've been taught as black women,
06:32there's a lot of us black women here,
06:34but we've been taught about our power
06:37in a way that almost feels oppressive.
06:41You know what I mean.
06:42The strong black woman trope that is so tired
06:46that we're supposed to be grateful for.
06:48But there's some danger in that.
06:53Can you tell us what concepts about power
06:58that you have been able to reject,
07:01especially when it comes to being a strong black woman?
07:04And tell us about your journey
07:07in learning and unlearning those things.
07:10Well, I thought for a long time
07:12that the goal was not to be this strong black woman.
07:16Like, I don't want to live up to whatever that means.
07:19I think my journey of discovering power
07:21has helped me to realize
07:23that it's less about rejecting it
07:25and more about expanding it.
07:27And so I am a strong black woman.
07:30I'm also a girl who's gone through trauma
07:32and can be easily triggered.
07:34I am strong in my faith in some areas
07:37and I'm learning who God is in other areas.
07:39And I think instead of trying to figure out
07:41which side of the fence do I play on,
07:43we knock the fence down
07:45and take up the full territory of who we are.
07:48And when we give ourselves to be the strong black woman
07:51and the girl who's been traumatized as well,
07:54I think that we force other people
07:56to adjust to that truth as well.
07:58But until we make enough space within ourselves
08:01to be strong and fragile,
08:04to be beautiful and a work in progress,
08:06if we don't make that space,
08:08we can't allow other people to make that space too.
08:10And so we talk about taking up space.
08:13I want us to take up space,
08:14not just with our highlight reel,
08:16not just with our strengths,
08:18but I want your vulnerability to take up space.
08:21I want your weakness to take up space.
08:23I want you to force you down the throats
08:25of every person you meet
08:27until they be realized that you are digestible
08:30in whatever format you come in.
08:32So we could be on the stage at Essence.
08:34We could be preaching at the Potter's house.
08:36I could have on my bonnet and be on TikTok.
08:38Like, I'm going to force you to see every version of myself
08:41because I don't want to be limited
08:43to only what you understand.
08:47I'm going to let that sit in the air for a little bit.
08:51Girl, we love you.
08:53We love, no, you're,
08:55the way that you explain things,
08:56the way that you give us the agency
08:58that we already have,
09:00you make us aware of it.
09:02It's such a beautiful gift.
09:04And I told you too,
09:05it's, it's,
09:07I don't know about y'all,
09:08but I have not been okay.
09:10Okay.
09:11This is cute.
09:12The lights are on.
09:13My makeup is done.
09:13I look fierce,
09:15but I have not,
09:16amen,
09:17but I have not felt fierce, right?
09:19I have felt weak.
09:20I have felt lonely.
09:22I have felt othered.
09:23I have felt betrayed.
09:25I still feel those,
09:27I mean,
09:28clap for that.
09:28I know that's right.
09:30Who's hurt?
09:34I know.
09:35I know that we're not all okay all the time.
09:40And there,
09:41from,
09:42from hearing you speak
09:43and from reading your book,
09:45there's a lesson in that,
09:47of not being okay
09:49and being digestible anyhow.
09:52Can you tell me about a time
09:53where you were not okay
09:55and you forced us
09:57to digest you anyhow?
09:59I preached with a wig cap on.
10:01I mean,
10:02I was preaching.
10:02Remember that wig fell off?
10:04I was preaching
10:05and my wig came off
10:07and like,
10:08it was not the ideal circumstance for me.
10:11I think there were layers to that
10:12because,
10:13you know,
10:13I felt embarrassed
10:15in a place
10:15where I'd already experienced
10:17a lot of shame,
10:18a lot of rejection.
10:19and so,
10:20I had to stick beside myself
10:23in that moment of vulnerability
10:24and fragility,
10:26not just in the moment,
10:27but in the aftermath
10:28of what happened as well.
10:30When people are like,
10:31talking about me
10:32and having think pieces
10:33and misjudging me,
10:34being willing to say,
10:36you know what,
10:36I know what it was,
10:38I know what it wasn't,
10:39and I'm going to have to stick beside me,
10:41I think is one of the moments
10:42that come to mind.
10:44It would have been very easy
10:46to say like,
10:47you know,
10:47I'm going to tuck my tail and hide.
10:49I'm not going to show up anymore.
10:51This is evidence.
10:52I struggle with inadequacy,
10:53so I'm like,
10:53this is evidence
10:54that you don't have any business
10:55being on this platform.
10:57You're not cut out for this,
10:59but instead,
10:59I have to trust
11:00that God can use me
11:02in whatever form
11:03I show up in,
11:04even if it's not necessarily
11:05the form I want to show up in.
11:07Like,
11:07we talk about God using us,
11:09but we want God
11:10to use a specific version
11:11of ourselves,
11:12but what if God
11:13wants to use your vulnerability?
11:14What if God wants to use
11:15the thing that you're embarrassed by?
11:17What if God wants to use
11:18the thing that you'd rather hide
11:20and being willing to say,
11:21literally,
11:21any part of me
11:22that you want to use?
11:23I have to learn
11:24to digest that first,
11:26so then I can show up
11:27in the way that allows
11:28them to see your glory
11:30and not mine.
11:33Yeah.
11:34That's it.
11:35That's getting in my feelings.
11:36Are y'all feeling that
11:37in your hearts?
11:39I know I am.
11:40I'm trying to keep it together,
11:41Sarah.
11:43But I'm curious,
11:45before you came to Sarah,
11:46became the Sarah
11:47that we all know
11:48and love so deeply,
11:50what was a time,
11:52like,
11:53this is pre-internet,
11:54pre-fame,
11:55what was a time
11:56where you felt
11:57your most powerful
11:58as young Sarah?
12:01I think I probably
12:03felt more powerful
12:04before people knew me
12:05than I feel now.
12:06Because I just,
12:08after I got pregnant
12:09as a teenager
12:10and, like,
12:10people had given up on me,
12:11I think I felt
12:12the most powerful
12:13because when you grow up
12:15as, like,
12:15T.D. Jake's daughter,
12:16there are, like,
12:17all of these expectations.
12:18And then when you
12:19disappoint people,
12:20there aren't any
12:20expectations at all.
12:22So I think I felt
12:23this freedom
12:24and liberty
12:24to show up
12:25in whatever way
12:26I wanted to show up,
12:27to do what I wanted to do.
12:29Like, I felt this freedom
12:30that I think
12:31is hard to hang on to now.
12:33And so I was 23.
12:36I was going through
12:37a divorce.
12:38I felt powerful
12:38going through that divorce,
12:40which is why I knew
12:40I wasn't going to be
12:41nobody's church hero
12:42because I was like,
12:43this divorce
12:44is the best decision
12:45I could have made
12:46for me and my children.
12:48And I just felt like
12:49I was reclaiming myself
12:51in a way that may be
12:52dissatisfactory
12:54to other people,
12:55but what I knew for sure
12:56was that it was leading me
12:58to become the most
12:58powerful version of myself.
13:01Wow.
13:01I love that.
13:02I really love that
13:04like the perception
13:05you have
13:06around things
13:08that would be considered
13:09bad and negative
13:10and oh my God,
13:11I can't believe.
13:12And you're like,
13:12that's when I'm
13:13my most powerful.
13:14Stop that.
13:15Yeah, I mean,
13:17I don't know.
13:17Maybe there's something
13:18wrong with me,
13:19but like.
13:20Something's right
13:20with you, baby.
13:22I don't know.
13:23I think that you can hit
13:25such a low point
13:26in your life
13:27that it leaves you
13:29with nothing
13:30but yourself
13:30and your truth.
13:31And in those moments,
13:33you can say,
13:34this is going to be
13:35the thing that I allow
13:36to just turn me
13:37into nothing
13:38or I can dare to believe
13:40that there is something left.
13:42And I took those
13:43shattered pieces
13:44of my life
13:45and I saw them
13:46as valuable.
13:48And it was like
13:49a secret between me
13:50and God.
13:50Like I didn't know
13:51if anyone else
13:52saw it as valuable,
13:53but I trusted that
13:54me and God
13:55saw something in it
13:56and like little by little,
13:57piece by piece,
13:58I feel like my life
13:59has come back together.
14:02I love that.
14:03Yes, yes.
14:05Sadly, we have
14:06about five more minutes
14:07so I'm going to,
14:08you know,
14:08make it count.
14:09I know.
14:10We could sit here
14:10all day with her.
14:13I want to know
14:15because power
14:17has been easily given
14:21to white men.
14:24Unchallenged.
14:25You know,
14:26I know we're
14:27in a sticky time
14:28politically
14:28and I'm not
14:29going to go there.
14:31But when it comes
14:32to being a black woman,
14:34do you feel like
14:35it's fair to say
14:37we're often not given
14:39or expected
14:41to be powerful
14:42and if we are,
14:44it's not
14:45in a positive light?
14:47That's such a,
14:50that's not
14:50a five-minute question.
14:53No, I have
14:53five more questions
14:54so do that one.
14:57I think that,
15:00yeah, I mean,
15:02I think that it's easy
15:03for us to try
15:04to live up
15:05to someone else's idea
15:07of what power looks like
15:08and often that's negative.
15:10I think there's
15:10so many nuances
15:11culturally
15:12and historically
15:13that play a role
15:15into how we define
15:16power as black women.
15:18And while I think
15:19it is necessary
15:20that we understand
15:21the context
15:22in which we are
15:24building a platform
15:25for our power,
15:26sometimes I wonder
15:28if we should also
15:29make sure
15:30that we're being
15:31intentional
15:32not about what
15:33stripped us from power,
15:34whether or not
15:35it was fair,
15:36but how do we reclaim it?
15:39What does reclamation
15:40look like?
15:41And how do we define
15:43power for
15:43for ourselves?
15:44Because if we don't
15:45define power
15:46for ourselves,
15:47we'll always be looking
15:49for someone else's
15:50definition of what
15:51it means to be powerful.
15:53But the truth is
15:54that power for me
15:55is different
15:55than your definition
15:56of power.
15:57And each of us
15:58have a responsibility
15:59to reclaim
16:00and define
16:01what power looks like,
16:03not just for our family,
16:04not just for black women,
16:06but on an individual level,
16:08what does it mean
16:09for you to be powerful
16:11with your past,
16:12with your dreams,
16:14with your gift,
16:15with your anointing,
16:16what does make power personal?
16:18And I think the more
16:19that we are able
16:20to make power personal,
16:21we have the strength
16:22we need
16:23to fight the systems
16:24of oppression
16:25that may try
16:26to project
16:27their version
16:27of what power
16:28looks like on us.
16:29I love that.
16:31That was good,
16:32right?
16:34Somebody write it down.
16:36I need to retweet it
16:37at some point.
16:39I would love to
16:40talk a little bit
16:41about,
16:43actually,
16:44no,
16:45because we're running
16:45out of time,
16:46and I would love
16:47for you to affirm
16:48this beautiful audience
16:51of people
16:51who are here
16:52to watch us talk
16:53because they love you
16:54so dearly.
16:55When you are
16:58in the mirror
16:58and all the stuff
16:59is off
17:00and you are
17:02maybe affirming yourself,
17:04what do you say
17:06to Sarah
17:06in the mirror
17:07to settle her
17:10for the day
17:11or to even start
17:12her day?
17:13And then,
17:14is this,
17:14and can you give
17:15that gift
17:16to these people?
17:18I can.
17:19So it's loud in here
17:23and this is a
17:27representation,
17:28though,
17:28sometimes of what's
17:29going on in my mind
17:30when the day is closed.
17:32There's so many thoughts,
17:33so much noise,
17:35so many anxieties,
17:37so many fears
17:38on the inside of me
17:40that my soul
17:41can sometimes feel
17:42like this room.
17:44And it can be hard
17:45to stay focused.
17:46It can be hard
17:47to tap into
17:47what's true,
17:48what's real,
17:49what do I really
17:50need to hear.
17:51And so I'm going
17:52to ask you guys
17:53to do me a favor.
17:53Can you put your hand
17:54on the shoulder
17:55of the person
17:56beside you?
17:58Man.
18:00Let me drag
18:01our chairs out.
18:04Can you put
18:05a little weight
18:05on that hand?
18:08Hold that person.
18:11Let them feel
18:12for a moment,
18:13no matter what noise
18:15is playing in their head
18:16and playing in their mind,
18:18that they're not
18:19that they're not
18:19in it on their own.
18:22That life is not
18:24as lonely,
18:25they are not
18:25as misunderstood
18:26as sometimes anxiety
18:28would have them
18:29to believe.
18:30If you were
18:31an extension
18:32of God's love
18:33holding their shoulder
18:34right now,
18:35I want you to pour
18:36love inside of them.
18:38And then I want you
18:39to lean in
18:40in a still,
18:41small voice
18:42and tell that person,
18:44you're going
18:45to be okay.
18:50You're loved.
18:53You're valuable.
18:55We need you.
18:59Show up
19:00in the fullness
19:02of who you are
19:04and God
19:07will go ahead
19:08of you.
19:10That's how
19:11I affirm myself.
19:12y'all just
19:17got an affirmation
19:18but also
19:20a beautiful
19:21word to take
19:22with you
19:22to believe
19:23for yourself
19:24how powerful
19:26you are.
19:27Give it up
19:27for Sarah Jakes
19:28Roberts
19:28and power moves.
19:34Y'all,
19:34this is a dream
19:35to me,
19:35so thank you.
19:37Oh my God,
19:38I love you.
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