- 6 days ago
Today, one in three youth lacks a positive adult mentor and Big Brothers Big Sisters of America – the nation’s leading youth mentorship organization – has a waitlist of 30K youth, the majority of whom are youth of color. This session highlights the transformative effect of mentorship for the Black community and society at-large (from economic mobility to mental health), destigmatize perceptions around mentorship and what it takes to be a mentor, and further activate and encourage attendees to become mentors.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00Hello, Essence. All right, all right. So welcome to the first day of the Global Black Economic
00:14Forum HQ. This is a shared space for innovation, discussion, and action. And I'm going to say
00:22that word again, action. It's so important as you're listening to these panels that you do
00:27something differently. We are in a very challenging time right now, and we want you to be inspired to
00:35take action. We're going to be focused on four core themes over the next few days. The future of work,
00:44wealth, health, and the future of our democracy. You will have an unparalleled chance to engage with
00:51the forefront of thought leadership and practical solutions, fostering an unified approach to uplifting
00:59and expanding Black economic opportunity and social justice globally. Please welcome to the stage to
01:08discuss the transformative effect of mentorship for the Black community, our panelists. Pulitzer Prize,
01:16an Emmy Award-winning journalist, MSNBC correspondent, and the host of Into America podcast, Tremaine Lee.
01:26Welcome.
01:30Next, we have strategist, innovator, data storyteller, and chief impact officer of Big Brothers,
01:38Big Sisters of America, Jenna Baugh.
01:42All right. And we have Buffalo Bill's running back and advocate for foster care awareness, Ray Davis.
01:56And lastly, attorney, author, social entrepreneur, and documentary filmmaker, Evangeline Mitchell.
02:05All right. So did you know that today, one in three youths lack a positive adult mentor? And Big
02:22Brothers, Big Sisters of America, the nation's leading youth mentorship organization, has a wait
02:28list of over 30,000 youth, the majority of whom are youth of color. Before we get started with
02:35our conversation, I'd love for each of you to tell us why being a mentor is vital. And Jenna, I'll start
02:43with you. Well, good morning, and thank you for having me. Mentorship is really vital. One, it's
02:50personally touched me, and I know this as a person who's been a mentee and a mother of four children.
02:56And I also know it's good for young people for all that happens to them later. It's good for our economy,
03:02and it's good for society. Just having more people that have positive relationships with youth, it
03:08matters so much.
03:09Thank you for that. Ray, you were Big Brothers, Big Sisters, Little, or mentee. Would you tell us a little
03:14bit about your experience?
03:16You know, first and foremost, I want to say thank you also. And, you know, being a former Little and being
03:22able to just have that, being a part of the Big Brother, Big Sister program, it was very impactful to me
03:27just to be able to have that consistency of someone being there who played a role, whether
03:32it was a father role, a Big Brother role, or just someone who showed me what life was going to be
03:37like, not just caring about the situation I was in, but also just caring about me as a person. So
03:43being in my position where I can use my platform to be a mentor and be a Big Brother, potentially,
03:49hopefully down the line, I want to be able to just shine a light on kids who need that, who need the
03:53consistency, who need someone to tell them that things are going to be okay, that everything's
03:57going to be perfect, but I'm always going to be there for you no matter what. So just being able
04:01to be a part of this and just being a part of something special that can lead to greatness,
04:05I'm blessed to be here. I'm blessed to be able to be an advocate for the youth and just for
04:09potential people who do join this and use our platform to shine light on kids who really need help.
04:16I love that. Thank you for sharing that. And I love just the personal aspect of it and your desire
04:21to continue to reach back. Tremaine, I'd love to hear from you just a little bit about your
04:25personal experience on being a mentor. Well, first of all, thank you so very much. It's good to be
04:30back here in New Orleans, where in so many ways I got my start as a journalist at the Times,
04:35picking a newspaper, and where I got my start as a Big to my little brother, Jonathan, who was 10 years
04:40old. You know, for me, being able to pour into a young person and in a time of great need. And so when I
04:48became a big, it was months after Hurricane Katrina. And so much of the city was underwater and so much
04:55of the city had its footing ripped from beneath it. And so folks in our communities didn't have any
05:00solid footing, including our young men and young women, who more than anything were bearing a
05:06psychological and emotional weight of the trauma in a way that some adults may not have, right?
05:10And so to be able to be consistent, and again, to pour into a young man, it meant a lot to me to be
05:18able to do that. I mean, it was as gratifying, certainly for him, as it was for me, especially
05:22given that moment where there was just so much need in New Orleans. And so for me, the experience was,
05:30you know, it's one that I continue to hold to this day. And I mean that in the most honest,
05:34truest sense, that what Jonathan gave to me at a time, when I was emerging as a young man,
05:39I was probably 25 years old, 26 years old, as I was emerging as a professional. And to see him see
05:46me as a reflection of each other, it just meant the world to me. I love that you brought in just
05:52the impact that the relationship had on you. So often when we're mentoring, we're thinking that
05:59we're the only one who's pouring or contributing, but that experience is shaping us as well and helping
06:05us to become better people as well. So thank you so much for sharing. Evangeline, you've dedicated
06:10your life's mission and work to mentoring future and aspiring black lawyers one-on-one through books,
06:16conferences, social media, and even film. Tell us a little bit about why you chose that line and what
06:23you've seen in your mentees. I also want to say thank you so much for having me. I'm very grateful to be
06:29here. Yes, I've dedicated my life to mentoring aspiring black lawyers in as many ways as I can
06:37touch them one-on-one through conferences, group mentorship programs, anything that I could think
06:42of. And primarily, it's so important to me because I was one of those people who didn't have the mentor
06:48and I made so many mistakes and it was very hard, very painful. And so I wanted to be that person to
06:55really do something to help other people navigate challenges. If we've been through things, they
06:59don't need to go through all of the same pains and barriers and setbacks if someone has already
07:05gone through it. They don't have to completely reinvent the wheel when there are things that we could
07:08kind of help show them along the way. So I made a decision way back when I was in college. I said I
07:14will not be one of those black people who are like, I got mine, go get yours. I'm going to be the person
07:18who really believes and who dedicates my life to doing what I can to also uplift and encourage and
07:25support others. So it started at a young age when I was just like, there are people who have done this
07:29before me. Why am I having to do this by myself? So it started there and the impact that it's made
07:35is basically I've been doing this work for over 20 years and I run into people all the time who said
07:40I'm a lawyer now because I went to your conference. I read your book. I sent you an email and you responded.
07:45So there's so many ways that you can mentor, even just being available to answer questions. So
07:49there's been different ways that I've been able to impact, but it came from my own experiences in
07:54making the decision that, you know, we need us and if we don't have us, then who will? So yeah.
08:00I love that. I love again, just the personal responsibility that you took and said, I'm going
08:05to do this because I didn't have. And so often people do, you know, get into opportunities and
08:11they're like, I got mine. Good luck. So again, we've got a theme going, a thread, the willingness
08:16to reach back to bring someone else along. I love that. Jenna, through your work with Big Brothers,
08:22Big Sisters of America, talk to us a little bit about the data that you've seen that really does
08:27speak to the positive effect of mentorship. Yeah. It's important to me when you talk about,
08:34is there a there there? And really one of the basis is that it's two times more likely for young
08:39people to take on leadership roles. And when you think about how folks are hesitant to take that
08:44risk and responsibility, having a mentor pays it forward. They are becoming leaders earlier when
08:50they have a mentor. It's also good long term because people who've had a mentor end up earning as much
08:56as 200 or $300,000 more in their lifetime. And so it pays off and it moves folks up an economic
09:03ladder. And so it's really important when we think about where are our communities today,
09:08that black and brown youth need those opportunities for upward mobility and the economics pays off.
09:14It's also a good financial return for a business. Individuals who serve as mentors, they stay at
09:20their company longer. There's a higher engagement, like 49 percent more engaged in your company. The
09:27retention rate is even better. And then we looked at the bigger research that says a community that has
09:33more mentors has more kids moving up that economic ladder, too. So we see that stacked layered kind of
09:40effect. And you see it over and over for the individual in their own economics, as well as for the whole
09:45society.
09:46I love that. I do have a follow up question. So knowing that all of the positive effects of
09:52mentorship and we see that there is a huge payoff, right, in so many different dimensions, why do you think we have
10:00the long waiting list of 30,000 youth? What can we do to solve that problem?
10:05Yeah, it's really difficult because of perceptions. It's a reality that you don't have to be perfect.
10:14You just have to be present. And so one of those things that people think is, I got to wait till I
10:18arrive. I need to wait till I have figured it out. But that's not necessarily what a young person needs.
10:24You need somebody who can be present and share the ups and downs. I mean,
10:28the things that Tremaine has shared, just the things that we've all experienced from somebody
10:32who's authentic. When you share your story and your journey, that's what young people need.
10:37And the other myth is a perception of time, that it takes a lot of time versus saying,
10:43can I give an hour, two hours a month? Yeah, I can find that. Can I find time to text a young person
10:48and say, keep going? Can I find time to jump online and say, hey, here's a video I watched that was good
10:54for me. Encouragement. So we really lean into this idea that you just have to be present.
10:59You don't have to be perfect.
11:01I love that quote. I wrote that down. You don't have to be perfect, but you do have to be present.
11:06I love it. Love it. Love it. Tremaine, talk to me a little bit about some of the myths or
11:11perceptions that you've seen or experienced around mentorship.
11:15You know, I think it's the same thing that you have to arrive being perfect, but we all arrive as we
11:21are. And I think that part really means something to young people, especially. They don't care that
11:26you're a doctor or a lawyer or you're a journalist. They care that you took time out of your day.
11:31And for me, I think, especially as black men, we know that when black men are in the lives of black
11:37boys in particular, the outcomes are extraordinary, just your mere presence. And so I think it's the
11:43commitment of time, the idea that you have to arrive perfect, that you have to be all things to a
11:49young person. You do not. You're building this relationship in the most natural sense of it,
11:53that sometimes you're there just as someone to listen. Sometimes you're there to drop those
11:58gems that you've experienced. But for me overall, you know, and I'll relate this back to my own
12:02childhood, when I was a little boy, maybe five or six, and every day my mother would get on a knee,
12:08and she got this from Jesse Jackson, and would say, I am somebody. And I repeat that. And I believed
12:12her that I was somebody. And so I walk through the world today as somebody in any room I go into.
12:17And if I can take a little bit of that and remind that these young people that you too are somebody,
12:22you don't have to have a perfect pedigree. You don't have to have educated parents. You don't
12:27have to come from money. But we are here together. And I think that's what matters most. So beyond the
12:33myths and perceptions of what you have to be to be a good mentor, you have to be present. And you do
12:37have to be committed, committed to the idea that we're going to be honest with each other,
12:41that I can help you. So we have to be mission driven in that sense, that I want you to succeed,
12:45whatever that success looks like, and whatever way I can do that. If it's two months, you know,
12:50when I was a big, you know, here in New Orleans, I had my young boy with me every Sunday. I was
12:55getting him every weekend, but I'm throwing the football with him. I had the little brother that
12:58I never had. And that meant a lot to me. And I would just arrive, he didn't care that I was,
13:03you know, a reporter at the local newspaper. He cared that I was scooping him up, and we're playing
13:07Madden, and we're throwing the football around, and he's sitting at the crib, and we're eating dinner
13:10together. And so I think that if we as black men, especially, can break out of this idea that we
13:17have to be all things for all people, especially we're going, we're in a crisis of manhood right
13:21now, right? I know we could probably talk a lot about how as men, what does it mean to show up for
13:25your family? What does it mean to show up for your community? What does it mean to show up in your full
13:28manhood? Right? And so some of that is being vulnerable enough to mean something to someone else.
13:34Love that. And actually, Ray, I would love for you to just share your voice a little bit about
13:40you've been in this situation where you were a little, and you had the experience. So I'd love
13:46for you to just talk a little bit about how that person showed up for you, maybe even share your
13:50favorite memory. Yeah, you know, I started with Patrick when I was eight. We were eight, I was eight
13:56years old, and just kind of being with him throughout my journey of growing up, we've been together for,
14:01we were well aged out, but just kind of being with him and understanding the things that I love with
14:07going to baseball games, going to football games, playing Madden. We met up every Sunday, and that was
14:13just, you know, a time away from the reality that I was facing in life. You know, I didn't care about
14:18whatever was going on in life. I carried about the two to three hours I was with Patrick, and he taught
14:23me so many things, dinner etiquette, how to be a man. And I was able to teach him how to become a parent
14:29in a way. You know, he had two boys, and to be able to just, the journey that we had of understanding
14:35that I didn't care what he did, like you were saying, I didn't care he worked at Google, I didn't
14:39care about none of that. I just cared about a man who was a consistent present in my life, who was a
14:45father figure, a big brother, a mentor, just somebody who showed that they cared about me, not just as
14:51another, oh, I got to hang out with this kid on Sunday. It wasn't like that. It was, I'm going to teach
14:55this young man how to become a better person each and every day, and I loved everything about it, and
15:01as life went on, I got to speak at his wedding, and I got to go to his wedding. I got to just do a lot
15:06of things that we, that I never thought I'd get to experience, and having Patrick at my draft party
15:11this two months ago, it was a full circle moment because he's done so much for me, and I was able
15:17to do something in return for him, and I was to give him that moment that we never thought we'd be able
15:22to share, and we were able to share, so I'm blessed to just be able to meet him. I was blessed to be
15:27able to be a part of this program. The reason I got involved is I was an eight-year-old kid who called
15:32the big brother phone, the phone number, and said, where's my big brother at, and I was eight, you know,
15:38and it's because I needed that, I needed that mentorship. I needed someone who was consistent
15:42in my life, and he gave me everything I needed to be who I am today. If I didn't have Patrick, if I wasn't
15:48a part of this big brother, big sister program, I guarantee you, I don't know where I'd be
15:52because without him every Sunday, I had nothing to look forward to, nothing, and I'm blessed to be
16:00able to sit here and thank him each and every day that we talk, to be able to be, his sons are my
16:05nephews, to be able to be a mentor to them, you know, not just a big brother in the sense of the
16:10program, but to be a mentor to show, hey, anything is doable, and being able to be here with my sister
16:16today and be a mentor to her and my siblings, I'm just trying to be able to show them that there
16:21is a light at the end of the tunnel, that we can be successful, and I'm just happy to be here.
16:26Incredible. Thank you so much for sharing that. Yes, give it up. Give it up. Thank you.
16:32So, Evangeline, what does it take to be a mentor? What kind of qualities do you think someone needs
16:38to have a successful mentor-mentee relationship?
16:40Sure. I think there are a lot of important qualities. First, I would say you have to care.
16:48So, that's the biggest thing. If a person knows that you care, you got them. If they know that you
16:52care and that it's genuine. In addition, you have to be willing to listen, because a lot of times
16:57people, they can hear you, but, you know, you're giving them advice, but if you show that you can listen
17:03to them and that you hear them and that you see them, that makes a huge difference. Also, just being
17:09empathetic, being compassionate, those are the main things. So, willing to listen, showing you care,
17:17having the empathy and the compassion, I think those are the main core things that are needed to be
17:23a successful mentor. And if you have that, you will have a mentee who's willing to really be drawn
17:30into that relationship with you. I love that. So, we're coming, we're coming up to the end of our
17:36time. This time just really, really flew by. And I want to make sure that we leave you with an action
17:41to take, because remember, this weekend is not just about talking about some of our most vexing
17:47problems, but also about solutions and actions that you can take. So, Jenna, I'd love for you to talk
17:52to us a little bit about what can our audience do today to become a mentor?
17:56So, absolutely need every one of you all to become a mentor. You can go to the website,
18:03Be Big Now. And it's a way to get started. Show your interests, say where you live. There's a young
18:09person that lives near you who you can help. And then be a partner. Just open those doors. We are
18:15part of civics groups. We are employees and leaders. Bring those different partnerships to the table also,
18:22because it matters so much when we amplify this message, that mentoring matters. It's something
18:27that we do. It's been a part of the black community for generations, and we can continue to make that
18:33even bigger. So, it's Be Big Now. Sign up for yourself and bring a partnership.
18:38So, thank you so much for being here. We really appreciate it. Remember, Be Big Now. And there
18:46might even be someone in the audience who just calls. I love that you shared your story that
18:51you were eight. You're like, where's my big? Well, thank you all for being here. We really
18:57do appreciate it. And thank you so much for listening.
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