- 6 weeks ago
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00gonna be a good group hello y'all how y'all doing talk back to me do me a favor
00:05do me a favor and say hello to somebody you don't know say hello to somebody you don't know
00:20don't be like that men it's our experience turn around say hello to somebody you don't know
00:28say hello to somebody it's good look at that it's good see look at this hey hey in the back
00:36hey in the back wave to me you make me feel good make me feel good hey y'all hey in the red what's
00:42up so my name is dr godfrey what's my name say it again that's my name and my specialty is
00:52emotional health so my program is called triple threat which stands for thoughts
00:56triggers and trauma so today i'm gonna take you guys and girls through a review of what we've
01:02been doing so there'll be a little faults there'll be a little triggers and there'll be a little
01:05trauma so i invite you to just sit back but right now sit up sit up sit up i'd like you to sit up
01:14treat yourself like you're about to take the best picture of your life and i'd like for you to do me
01:19a favor close your eyes close your eyes and i want you to think about what makes you smile most often
01:28think about rough days that are not rough anymore think about time you graduated from high school the
01:40time you had a child time you got that first job think about somebody that's working really hard right
01:47now pounding that pavement delivering pizzas hiding from their boss in the bathroom but you're not
01:53you're sitting right here because you're that blessed so whatever else is in your mind we're
01:58going to reset that and from now on from this moment on you're blessed and that's where we move from
02:06give it up for yourself and open your eyes there we go now let's start this thing where's my clicker
02:11all right so here we go time time time so i want to start with forever starts today a lot of times
02:19we get very stressed out because we don't know who we are be you because everyone else is already taken
02:25be yourself because everyone else is what they already taken be you because everyone else is already
02:33taken and i like to put all of us on the same level really quick because everyone in here is hiding
02:38something you got a secret and you gonna keep it and since that's the case we all together so we
02:47can move from the same space now nobody's bigger better than anybody not alone we all together and so
02:54my big piece of genre which stands for you are not alone you are not alone so when you see yana that's
03:01what that stands for i'm really big on suicide prevention y'all know what it's like for us our
03:06community does attempt a lot more than most communities but they don't talk about it and
03:10that's why i appreciate s is giving us this platform so we can talk about it our community is
03:15attempting way more than a lot of other communities and we don't talk and it's always an excuse that
03:19you don't know how to talk to them so i created something very simple i want you to find your
03:25combination where you at today screenshot this this how you talk to your kids your wife your people
03:29you don't know what to say hey just tell me your combination my combination today i'm a one
03:35and a five what about you tell your neighbor tell your neighbor you're at home talk to yourself get
03:41your paper out write it down write it down what's your combination today what is your combination
03:46what's your combination oh come here come here come here come here what's your name
03:54takia what's your shirt say black people die by suicide too a suicide attempt survivor and i lost
04:01my 13 year old cousin to suicide so we are a podcast and a non-profit that focuses on specifically
04:08suicide prevention in the black community and it makes sure that suicide prevention is a part of the
04:13mental health conversation give it up for her y'all hey give me information shell get her stuff when we
04:18get the boy they do we're just talking about that y'all see that boom front row give when you get
04:24time all right let's move all right so that's how long it takes for somebody to make a judgment about
04:29you flat out so since that's the case we've got some rapid fire questions to test who you really are
04:36let's talk you got seven seconds to answer the question how often is your mind at peace
04:41talk to yourself or your neighbor you're looking at me like you got an answer that's your piece
04:51that's the issue what's your piece my piece is on stage is this yours nah y'all hear that he said
04:58define peace what's your piece what's your piece what makes you peaceful do you even know
05:06what's your piece good question what's the last time you was happy two days in a row
05:12i see the hands tell them who what is it what's the day say it
05:18oh say it i haven't had two bad days in a row clap that up come on now i love that i need another
05:30where my boy at hey grab that hold on just in case somebody got something to say all right
05:37oh my god
05:39what never fails to make you smile
05:43waking up in the morning come on what never fails to make you smile he coming what never fails to make
05:52you smile hey camera people my bad i'm doing it i got it sorry y'all what never fails to make you
05:58smile my mother's laugh oh lovely clap that up i gotta move this way all right i got you ready to go
06:04all right i gotta come by the question so they can see it all right come on whose energy helps you heal
06:11my wife's whose energy helps you heal
06:16whose energy is your enemy you get around them you like toxic gotta go gotta go we can't stay we can't
06:26stay okay and if they sit next to you just wouldn't wick at me if they sit next to you wink at me it's
06:33all good all right whose energy did you miss
06:37the last time you was in a heated conflict how did you react
06:54some some of y'all still cussing
06:56oh that mother oh are you okay with the way you reacted did you think about how you reacted before
07:04what lie do you tell yourself most often don't lie
07:11y'all want y'all want to hear mine yeah y'all want to hear mine
07:17yeah y'all want to hear mine do y'all want to hear mine yeah so mine is i'm okay
07:34that's kind of you good i'm straight
07:37and go cry somewhere it's another thing too i told him this yesterday i was working with my physical
07:42therapist and she said dr gosh when you get there make sure you tell the men a lot of our attitude
07:47is coming from the pain you never got fixed you sore you hurting all this hurt all this touch any
07:54man in here right here they're gonna melt any of them look at you like that's a little look at
08:00see don't start hey not in here all right all right anyway my point is go get yourself checked up
08:06let somebody rub on you y'all want to help them rub on them go home put them elbows in that back
08:12tell them it's okay to not be okay he tired on the flip side though know you tired know you hurting
08:21know you played football years ago it never got fixed you just kept on i'm gonna be straight and
08:25now you walking like this you can't even move this way you talking to me come on y'all know what i'm
08:30talking about get up like get touched on because then that turns to an attitude you go home and what
08:37happens somebody want to talk to you like man gone with that it ain't her it ain't it's you just tired
08:43say that and give us space to say that tired you ain't gotta be that hard chill out chill out
08:50all right them socks ain't moving they been i threw them on the floor 50 50 days in a row back down back
08:57down back down oh we don't got no phone we don't got no sound let's do who validates your feelings the
09:05most who validates your true feelings the most who validates your true feelings the most who validates
09:12your true feelings the most we got sound no sound all right i'm gonna keep going all right hey here
09:22we go y'all ready are y'all ready this ain't gonna are y'all ready come on man all right here we go so i
09:30want you to count count the number jumps all right your task count the jumps in the back that's all i want
09:38you to do that's precisely how the way how many times here we go in the back jumps in the trampoline
09:44ready go count one come on how many get come on count them up count them up come on come on come on
09:55count them up down the back y'all about to be counting
10:01how many jumps do you count how many we get how many got how many got 11 you answered 11 congratulations
10:06but that's correct but did you see the gorilla who delicately tiptoed into the frame and took
10:14note out seriously and i know you didn't see the gorilla because sometimes we don't see other things
10:22that ass oh whoa that ass i'm sorry who's on the mic it's me
10:26what's your partner cut cut say what's up tell them to say what's up to the people y'all say
10:36what's going on lowkey i'm hosting with my man right here somebody's never host y'all say what's up to
10:40lowkey man say what's up how y'all doing you out of new york apple tv apple music hey so um the point of
10:46that was if you didn't see the gorilla if you did see great if you didn't see what else you missing
10:52we all counted together we sat in the same room with the same instructions with the same screens
10:58and missed a whole gorilla walked in on you and then walked out and you staring at the screen
11:05what you looking at at your house that you're just missing what's in front of you that you just don't
11:10see how does that work and that's the whole point of that everything i have up here is built because
11:17i was affected by it three little girls you know i'm missing a lot of stuff but now i'm not i'm
11:24trying not to but anyway that's the point thank you for that i appreciate it some good dads where
11:28the good dads at give it up for yourself you're a good dad in here give it up look at that the
11:31mom's like is he and she sitting next to you easy yeah he is what's wrong with y'all all right where we
11:37we are let's see we go oh cut there that's i'm scared let me go if a bird landed on your head right
11:46now what would you do scream holla go crazy if a bird landed on your head right now why don't we do
11:56that with negative thoughts they sit settle and build nests and we say nothing back if somebody
12:04walked in here right now was like man i'm gonna knock your face off i'm sick of you your outfit's
12:07ugly who do you think you are why would you wake up this morning you'd be ready to fight i'm talking
12:12about somebody with their face tore off but you say it to yourself you speak nothing back you speak
12:17nothing back talk back to your thoughts talk back to them i do it every day every day talk back no that
12:24ain't me that was the old var i ain't him no more you don't know this dude i left him last night
12:29i broke up with him break up with yourself give yourself permission to change your mind you don't
12:35have to be the same you can change your mind any day anytime anywhere yesterday somebody was
12:40sitting front row talking about family oh my family said this it's one thing about family that in my
12:45position what i do ain't nobody did this before so it's gonna feel crazy i'm gonna take jobs you don't
12:51know about i'm gonna take losses but i'm in here you can't tell me to sit because you don't know
12:57you can't keep telling me why are you going what are you doing who is that how much they pay you you
13:02don't know and that's why some of y'all gotta bust out that family tradition to start new generational
13:07curses i'm sorry not to start them but to write break them you never want to say nothing mama said be
13:13quiet because she said so said so what because you had to be quiet quick little story there was a pot
13:20that had a turkey in it and every year this guy's wife would cut the turkey in half so he goes and
13:29goes hey who taught you how to do they say oh my mama so then went to the mama and said mama why are you
13:34cutting the turkey the back of the turkey oh well because because my mama so let's go so why are you
13:39cutting the back of the turkey y'all so let's go see her she's still living she's still living let's go
13:42talk to her get to grandmama hi grandmama um why you cut the turkey back off of that uh well because
13:47because my my mama did it that's cool mama's still living she's still living but she had to get
13:52over to the nursing home hey mama why why why did you uh cut the back of the turkey off because my pot
13:58wasn't big enough the pot wasn't big enough so you cut the back of the turkey off and it just goes
14:07it's the same thing in generations you do it they do it nah i'm not doing that speak up for yourself walk
14:15away and be okay walk away and be okay i'm your mama okay i'm your daddy okay i'm your are you
14:28are you back to my man's thing what's your definition of daddy what's your definition of mama
14:36all right we got to read i want to make sure you guys can read so i'm coming out there you better sit
14:39up the camera's coming to you matter of fact my god pick somebody here we go turn the music down
14:46cut the music cut it cut it cut it cut it cut it cut it cut it cut it cut it let's see never mind
14:53you know what we're gonna do i'm skipping it just cut the video they need that though they can have that
14:58cut the mic cut the which color from that right there oh you have one yeah no i gotta go back though
15:03okay okay go back if they see if they can go back if they can't go back okay think about this really
15:10quick do you believe everything you think do you believe everything you think i try to okay
15:19who do you have the most thought-provoking conversations with and how often
15:24my therapist my mother i hear you who do you have the most toxic conversations with how often are they
15:35sitting next to you just look she that is so wrong dang that is so bad this is the men's experience
15:45ain't no pillow all right
15:46so quick things for you to keep so 60 to 80 000 thoughts per day is what a typical person has
15:5580 percent lean towards the negative 95 are copy and pasted from the day before meaning what you
16:02thought about yesterday you thought about today same old same old and so because of that we got five
16:08percent left so let's jump in and start changing them thoughts go a different way when you go home
16:13pick up your phone with your left hand easy start arguing easy what i do take a pencil start writing
16:19with your opposite saying so i'm a right-handed right with your left hand right with your left hand
16:24go a different way going home throw yourself off have a little fun with yourself y'all got that find
16:29friends that don't do what you do you want to know why you arguing all day because y'all do the same thing
16:36go find an astronaut that's somebody that does not do what you do anybody that do what you do after a while
16:41you go compete i don't care what it is we could be kicking rocks after a while you're like my rock
16:46will go farther than yours like all right find somebody don't do what you do be uncomfortable
16:51and be okay with that that's another thing we'll talk about in a minute with just the difference
16:54between being uncomfortable and unsafe are you uncomfortable or just unsafe big difference big
17:01difference negative thoughts visit the strong but stay with the weak we all get them they ain't going
17:08nowhere they ain't staying with me though they can't live here you're not living because i'm talking
17:13back to you get them out of here that was him yesterday nope don't believe that no more sorry
17:18go find somebody else play with now i'll talk to you a little bit about triggers the things that
17:23sets you off and this is something that you should always know what sets you off because the people
17:26around you should know that if you're easily irritated you're easily manipulated straight like that
17:33easily easily thank you mama peace out so over overseas there's monkeys who get trapped by a coconut
17:47all they do is put their head inside that company to grab food if the monkey would simply release his head
17:53he could live but he won't he hold on until they come kill him and that's what we do a lot
18:00let it go it's a wrap it's over stop talking to close doors the door's closed you're still talking
18:08turn around stop talking to close let it go you see the monkey let it go let it go let it go
18:17you want to know triggers real quick this is how i do it and i do this weekly you want to know your
18:21triggers really fast who makes you feel seen alive and motivated what's their name who makes you feel
18:28uneasy unsafe or unwanted what's their name remove what needs to be removed that's simple simple man
18:35ain't no big thing ain't no big thing and they might be sitting next to you they might have came down here
18:40with you but like i told my people this morning i don't do toxic no more at all if i feel some type
18:44of way we just do and we ain't arguing do your thing i'll help you do your thing i will help move you
18:50to wherever you want to go i'm not hating on you but you can't come around here no more you're not
18:54jumping on me the phone ring them calls i just ain't taking i'm not taking because then what happens
19:02to me my my spirit go where go down i'm not doing that and you go up and then watch how toxic this
19:08crazy right here watch out you'll tell a toxic person you can't talk to and they go naughty
19:12and you hang up and it's cool don't pick up they'll call somebody else promise
19:20count the faces real quick you got five seconds how many faces you see count them up count them
19:24count them how many see count them count them count the faces count the faces count the faces
19:31count the faces all right how many got five faces how many got six how many got seven how we got eight
19:39how many got nine ten eleven oh twelve thirteen there the faces go the point of that is trauma
19:49that's how people see trauma you never know a whole room for the same people looking at the same thing
19:54trauma affects us different affects all of us different you don't know what got you trauma
19:59affects us different and that's the second thing i'm going to talk about and remember this to all you
20:04parents and everybody out there a little criticism goes a long way it takes six positive
20:09comments to make up for every one negative comment that you make remember that six positive to one
20:15real stuff
20:19these young kids got attention span of eight seconds they take information in fast lose it just as fast
20:26the best way to talk to them is bite-sized communication yeah go ahead five words or less
20:30so all that going to them they're not hearing you got five words you got five words
20:35three point five minutes per week is the average a parent spends in meaningful conversation with
20:44their kids so not go to the bathroom be quiet go no no no where they get where to meet at what you
20:49teaching me ask your kids what's the last new thing you learned to see what they come up with
20:54and where'd you learned it from ask them i don't know if we got time how much time we have so quick
21:01time see if you find yourself in one of these parent roles are you the parent who's just too busy all the
21:06time stay on your phone your kid come talk to you this has been me i'm trying to talk i'm on a
21:10cell phone i'm on everything is that you find yourself are you the complainer no matter what you
21:17complaining it don't matter complaining and i got all these for my kids i work with y'all need to see
21:24this look at this are you the pointer it's always your fault no matter what it's you it's you i went
21:31to work today i cooked i cleaned out it's you huh huh i don't care you do whatever you want to do come
21:41for it you know what i'm about sick of it now i see some of y'all leaning two-faced the quickest way
21:50to get your child to be very upset but she was lying just lying to him you're the greatest in the world
21:56you're the best baby can't nobody do it like you do it
21:59sick i mean the most anxious parents you've ever seen in your life everything makes them anxious
22:10everything makes them anxious they just can't sit still everything makes them anxious oh this is the
22:15one the drug you know every man come on right yeah show up to the vents bent yeah graduations
22:24everything baby that's your speech and everybody knows it here he come here he come come on we got
22:36to kick you out the game because you can't stop that's the referee one come on what's this the t you
22:41know everything all the shows all your girls business all the neighborhood you know but you don't know
22:47your kids teacher's name did no homework with them missed every parent teacher conference this year
22:54don't know what the grade is have no clue but i can tell you what time which uh house whatever to come
22:59on and we're going to we're going to talk about 14 shows though like we watch 14 shots for 45 minutes
23:07straight and talk about it binge on it don't know your kid's teacher's name
23:12are you the fighter let's just fight let's just fight let's just get it in let's just get it in
23:26this is the worst place to talk to your children at in the car because they can't go nowhere
23:32and everything you say is right what they gonna say what can they say anything they say
23:38y'all know that how many of y'all got hit in the mouth but they didn't even look at you just bam
23:42they know exactly where you at yeah yeah you like that's dancing you been there like how she hit me
23:48dead in the middle of my mouth and she's driving like yeah yeah that's the story that's all right
23:53time's coming where would you find yourself at on this on this little little mantle where would your
23:58people put you at take a picture that ask your kids say where do you think i am and then put yourself
24:05where you think you are stop just talking to them kids find out where you at get your phones out you
24:10at home wherever you at screenshot this talk to your kids and ask them where they at talk to your coaches
24:15ask them where they at stop just living get better find out how to communicate better there we go get
24:21that
24:31so i got a couple things i want to say to you guys one is you'll always hear me say this it's okay to
24:36feel that's how you heal now i'm gonna say it's okay to feel and y'all gonna say that's how you heal
24:42it's okay to feel that's how you heal and a lot of us just feel all day ain't no healing in that you
24:50just feeling you go from feeling to feeling feeling ain't no healing i'm telling you now it's okay to
24:56feel that's how you heal another quote is very i love is if what you say about me means more to me
25:07than what i say about me i got a problem if what you say about me means more to me than what i say
25:15about me i got a problem whose applause matters who you getting up getting on for for what where you
25:23at in that last time you looked in the mirror told yourself you was fine you to buy i do that every day
25:28they were looking at me i'm like you got it wrong you looking at it you looking at it and if you don't
25:34feel like that sorry for you you can't hang around me i'm off that ain't no more them look all come
25:39with me i wouldn't know i'm the best that's what god put me here for the whole world it's me you should
25:46feel like that you should feel like that you should feel like that so i got a pledge i do uh working out
25:53can i should i just stay right here can i all right hey i'm gonna need y'all's help though so i gotta
26:01really pay attention to what i'm saying because y'all gonna have the next words y'all got what i'm
26:05saying hello y'all got what i'm saying hello all right all right emotional health is the new wealth
26:16now more than ever i believe in my so good i pledge to start inside out and not outside in because the
26:25biggest enemy starts within y'all code i pledge your perception of me is no longer my reality
26:32now don't mistake my confidence for cockiness i'm just not willing to accept that i'm an emotional wreck
26:38i'm a miracle just looking for a place to happen i will no longer be caught emotionally napping
26:44i'm woke now yes no longer sleep my emotions will never again be sold for cheap i pledge that a smile is
26:52just a smile away and to never let yesterday ruin today that was sweet i felt good too today
27:01i'll never leave a lesson without a blessing so today from essence we plan to emotionally
27:08stop stressing got the guy from t-show
27:14play this music we want some help you want to play some hood carry up oh hold on hold on hold on
27:18hold on hold on we gotta first off first off first off we gotta make sure that dr goffrey got his praise
27:25and his just the love that everything he displayed on the stage right now within the last hour was
27:30taken in and thoughtfully provoked so thank you for giving us the tools and the resources to be better
27:37black men and black women please give it up for dr goff right now i appreciate y'all i'll be over here
27:42too if y'all wanna holla i ain't gonna talk around so my name is lowkey i'm hosting alongside dr goffy
27:48for the rest of the evening we're gonna chill we're gonna play some hook karaoke we're gonna play this
27:52you have 30 seconds we're gonna play verses we got a couple panels coming up we're gonna get all of
27:57y'all involved today it's the last day of essence fest we're gonna have a really really good time
28:01my man shaz smooth is providing the music for the rest of the day so please stay come kicking with us
28:06have fun with us talk to us interact with us but we're gonna have a really good time shaz smooth
28:11play some music for about 30 minutes me and god we're gonna go backstage we're gonna get it
28:15together and we're gonna have some fun hey i need that new hooks you get on there like yo yo i need
28:19to learn that yo yo
28:36Like okay
28:54like
28:55like
28:55in
28:55like
28:56like
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