00:00I've added the lesson or the narrative of apologizing and adoration to my new
00:06children's book. I got it from my mama because it's actually from my own
00:09experience. While we you know have adoration for our parents or whether
00:15you grew up with a single mom or a single dad or whoever that was there was
00:19also points in time where like you said apologies were not there and I literally
00:26wrote from my own experience and I wanted to kind of change the narrative of my
00:31life with my child and I wanted to give her a voice right like to let her know
00:36that her voice does matter and I really do believe that if you don't give your
00:42give the opportunity for your child to have a voice as a child that child becomes
00:47an adult without the same voice so that was really important for me and I want
00:51it to be it to be a like a co-readership thing where you know sometimes we get
00:56those books and we're like please don't pick up that book again please don't
00:59pick up that book again I wanted parents to really have a good time reading and
01:06maybe having a conversation with their kid or a future conversation with their
01:09kid some of the traits I received from my mom is I think the great traits are grit
01:16determination not giving up I really got those things from my mom and just seeing
01:23her whether it was her struggle or her make it out of the struggle or you know
01:28different variations of where she was in life just seeing her keep getting up after
01:32falling that's something that I'm able to do and also pivot and I think the
01:38challenging or the colorful things that I received from my mom sometimes I think
01:43she just doesn't listen and I don't listen sometimes I'm very strong-headed you know I
01:49I guess as a kid I wasn't I don't feel like my mom's like you were so quiet as a
01:54kid you were very observant as a kid but I'm such a strong-willed person that I'm
01:59like the person you probably don't want to argue with because I'll argue with you
02:04for a while until you really I feel like you understand what I'm saying you don't
02:08have to agree with what I'm saying but just can you understand me yeah my
02:13upbringing informs the type of mother I am but I feel like I'm half half old school
02:18half new school modern because while you know well I think a lot of parents
02:24think oh apology that means giving apologies actually mean that they lose
02:29some kind of power over their child when I think it's just potential and I think
02:34it's the opposite you're giving them power to help them because I like I said
02:38I'm I'm half old school half new school old school there's still boundaries set
02:43I'm the parent you know there's still the look like girl you know you know you
02:48know but I think the new school is me asking questions and me actually
02:54listening to what what the answers to those questions are raising a little girl
03:00who is biracial I think she hasn't really totally grasped the whole black
03:08white thing she does say wow I'm glad you guys got together to make me right
03:13she's like wow you're black and he's white and you guys made me this is great
03:18you know so she sees it as a great thing which I think is awesome because I think
03:22she's gonna pull different variations of things from each of us yeah I'm just
03:29raising her to really just be a kind human being who can take responsibility in
03:34the world apologize in the world and hopefully connect with other people who are
03:40like-minded and wanting things to be better right and so what I like about Ella my daughter
03:46is she she does ask a lot of questions about you as a human you know she wants to she recently what
03:56happened was we were with a bunch of friends and the friend was my husband's friend was so
04:01taken back by how much she was interested in like her you know she's like I've never had an
04:07eight-year-old ask me I haven't even had a 28-year-old ask me questions I think she's really
04:12I think kids are into who are you not what can you do for me not who you are but who are you and
04:19I think that's just gonna make a better world so we haven't gotten there yet where but she does
04:23you know we watched Martin we watched things about Martin Luther King and she knows if she doesn't
04:28she does not understand how people were like the way they were she's like it does it just baffles
04:33her she's like why you know and she does say well mom would you have been treated differently and I'm
04:39like yeah I would have been you know and she's like how could they you know you know so yeah from
04:45the mouths of babes you know it's just the innocence of it all yeah in the book the mom does lose it
04:51right that's the real part of the book and I think that's what moms are gonna be like yes yes I lose it
04:57I'm not perfect okay um so that's one thing I like I love about this but the way I use you know
05:05I I take care of myself or self-care per se I I tell my husband I tell my daughter when I need a minute
05:14like I can't have you talk to me anymore like I am overstimulated I can't I don't don't touch me right now
05:21like I say it nicely but I'm like I just need a moment and I need it to be quiet like literally I
05:28take a step back and say that and they get it they rather me be that way then I'm snapping and
05:34they're like what's wrong with you you know and they don't understand that but they understand when
05:39I am overwhelmed with just the environment at the moment and then we move on once I I'll come back to
05:46them they know I'm going to come back to them and then yeah it's all good you know as a person who
05:55has an array of life things going on whether it's career mom wife all the things I think something's
06:03always not balanced honestly I don't know if I balance it perfectly I balance it the best way that
06:09I can and I try to give time to each thing but there's always something whether I if I'm putting a
06:16bunch in my career my husband probably wants more time right like or I'm putting you know more into
06:23my daughter it's like this thing needs to be emailed right now you know and it's there's always something
06:28so I think it's it's it's a perfect imbalance of of trying to balance everything right I don't think
06:37anybody does it perfectly you know and you obviously get help you know with different things and
06:43my husband's definitely a great help to me when I need to have something done or take Ella or do
06:49those things but I'm trying to get better at you know cutting off work at a certain time and then
06:55you know just this is family like this is it you know but when you're an entrepreneur it's like
07:01you know it's a constant push and pull I think it's kind of like an array of things for essence for me
07:09the black women in Hollywood is probably one of the most important ones for me um just seeing
07:16a lot of women get their flowers per se right uh whether you know or or just seeing like your
07:24favorite humans that are there who you look at like Shirley Ralph you know like seeing her like
07:29just seeing all these people together Ava like I sat next to Ava DuVernay this year and it was it was
07:35just like you know I've I've it's just like a beautiful moment of people who you look up to
07:41coming together and and uh I think Richard actually sat next to me too um uh yeah there's just so many
07:49different people that you see and you're just like but I also love the um the festival I went to the
07:54festival before when Get On Up was coming out with Chadwick Boseman and uh and I was part of that and
08:00just the way first of all I just think the way you guys create community with just the everyday
08:06people I love that the most like getting out there and feeling and touching and hugging and being like
08:11girl it felt like a real family reunion you know people feel like they know you know you and they're
08:16like and you're like girl girl you know what I mean and I think you guys create whether it's your
08:21magazine whether it's you know the brands that you guys connect with to bring community together
08:27whether it's the uh black women in Hollywood event I think the thing you guys do amazing is
08:32bringing community together whether they're in Hollywood or not and I really enjoy that space
08:37of like just feeling there's like a comfortability in it and and I and there's a love that you leave
08:43with every time of like gosh I'm glad I went you know what I mean I also want to say happy 55th
08:49Essence you look amazing I think um I'm just grateful for the support that I've been getting for the book
08:55and uh just touching on modern parenting I always tell parents that you don't need to be perfect you
09:01just need to be present and uh you need to and hopefully look your kid in the eye and even when
09:07you are tired tell them you're tired because when you tell them they know you're not just snapping at
09:13them I feel like the more vulnerable you can be and I'm not telling you like cry and be like oh my god
09:19you know what I mean I'm telling you to communicate with your child because they will they will
09:24understand how to deal with that rather than you just snapping at them and we're gonna all keep
09:28making mistakes but they're like the little mirrors to help us be better people and they really are
09:33mirrors to us and we're like it's like you either look in the mirror or you don't either way a human's
09:38coming out of that household so you might as well look in the mirror to be better so my new book
09:44my new children's book I got it for my mama is available everywhere now at Target Barnes and Nobles
09:50Amazon um yeah all the places so just check it out you can also find me on Instagram at Tika Sumter
09:58and yeah I hope you love the book as much as I do love you guys
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