- 23 hours ago
Essence Deputy Editor Allison McGevna and Danielle Gray talk about products and more ways to engage in self care.
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00:00hi guys thank you so much for joining me i am so excited to get into this conversation
00:10brought to you by avino for the essence festival of culture today we are talking about wellness
00:18and black women and taking care of ourselves and really celebrating ourselves i've got a very
00:23special guest with me today you guys know her probably as her incredible uh youtube and
00:30instagram and website following as the style and beauty doc but uh please welcome and join
00:37me in giving a warm round of love and wellness and brightness to danielle gray hello how are you
00:46oh thank you you too you too well i'm so glad that avino brought us together here for the essence
00:59festival of culture our first ever virtual edition um i wanted to you know let's get right into it
01:05because you know wellness is i feel like one of those buzzwords that everyone's talking about right
01:09now and i know for me i've been redefining wellness is really getting in touch with myself and who
01:16i truly am stripped away from all the little like you know bells and whistles that we've come to know
01:22and kind of rely on so i would love to just hear about your wellness routine and what it looks like
01:27for you yeah so i love all the bells and whistles like i love seeing people you know with the eye
01:34masks underneath their eyes and they're like you know luxuriating and just looking amazing you know
01:39doing their self-care routine but for me my team is a little bit more like on the mental health
01:48aspect like i always tell myself like today's one of those days where it seems like everyone
01:54different directions and i think for me um self-care is being a i can't do it no
02:02um and then also knowing that no is a one word sentence you know um and also for me it's funny
02:12because um i actually started redecorating you know maybe about a year or two ago and i'm so happy
02:21that like my space is like i kind of treat it as an oasis and since we're spending so much more time
02:27indoors to me it feels like you know i need to make sure that you know the the sunlight comes in
02:34here and it's bright and it's gorgeous so that to me are like two of my top self-care wellness um
02:41aspects of life for myself yeah well you know i love that you said saying no because i read one of
02:49my favorite quotes is you know sort of paraphrasing is just the general idea of saying no to some things
02:55that are just beyond you are often saying yes to yourself because sometimes i feel like we just
03:00try to do too much and right now the lines are so blurred for people working from home and you know
03:06hustling with their businesses if they're unemployed maybe they're looking for something new we're
03:10trying to get something off the ground so definitely knowing when to say no is super important i like to
03:16also really you know find those moments for myself um where do you really take time for yourself i mean
03:23you've got your beautiful space but where do you escape you know the craziness that we're going
03:28through right now before you know prior to you know our current situation i would just get on an
03:33airplane and go somewhere um but now i have to use my imagination you know the other day i bought a palm
03:38plant to pretend like my terrace is the caribbean um but one of my favorite places and i think this is
03:45great because it's a place that you know most i would say if not all of us women have whether you know
03:51we're working moms or um you know whatever that you're juggling it's the shower like that's that
03:58one place where you have that solace um you know if you have little ones you know maybe they might be
04:04trying to get in there as well too but that's like that one time where you really have that space to
04:11kind of like really think like i come up with some of my best ideas in the shower like yeah that's my
04:16that's my place yeah it's so funny too because i am the mom of a toddler so that is my life of just
04:24you know like looking for that little quiet moment so definitely in the shower for me i've started kind
04:29of having the routine of you know just really being selective about what i use the way things smell
04:36getting the temperature right and everything just so that i could really feel like i'm washing away
04:41the day what are your like do you have your go-to products because your skin and your hair is amazing
04:47girl so i need to know your go-to products for like luxuriating but also treating yourself
04:53yeah yeah well one of my favorite things that you know i love to cook that's not a product but you know
04:59it's something that helps to kind of know soul and it just just tastes good and feels good um you
05:06meant as i mentioned the shower um and that being my second oasis other than you know my space
05:13one thing you know one quick tip about the shower is that you know after a long day you really want
05:18to go in and take a hot shower but you know that hot temperature can really zap the skin so you want
05:23to kind of turn the temperature down and so that you're not zapping your skin and then i like to nourish
05:30and have my aveno skin relief body wash in the shower it has soothing oats that's shea butter
05:38you know how we feel about shea butter um and then when i get out of the shower right like the whole
05:44shea butter and then when i get out of the shower you know i i towel dry my skin but while my skin's
05:51still a little bit damp i put the aveno skin relief lotion on again soothing oats shea butter that we love
05:58and it gives you 24 hours moisturization because you know you know sometimes when you're looking
06:04down and you're like there's that one piece of ash that's still left on the skin and you're like what
06:09does that piece of ash want why is it coming back why is it here so i like that it gives me that 24
06:16hour protection you know i don't think there are times where i need the full 24 hours but it's good
06:21to know that i have it you know yeah absolutely absolutely i know for me i think
06:27i've been really even though i love makeup and i'm such a glam girl like i've really been giving
06:34my skin a break and being really really selective about the kinds of products that i use or don't
06:41use and i have learned so so much about my skin in this time um what do you think you know do you
06:49feel like a lot of women are kind of really reinventing their beauty routines in this crazy
06:53quarantine stressful era yeah i definitely think so like from what what i hear from my subscribers
07:01and people who follow me on instagram people are either trying to like beef up their skincare routine
07:06they're like you know what i'm in the house let me make sure that you know i'm learning and what's
07:12great is that i've also been in the mood to create so i've been putting out lots of content
07:16so that people can kind of learn the basics of a skincare routine
07:19and then because we're wearing masks a lot and it's like no one's seeing right here anyway and
07:26if you happen to have makeup on and you put the mask on you know what that mask is gonna look like
07:31when you take it off so a lot of us are kind of pairing things down and it would be really
07:36interesting to see how that kind of maybe is there that kind of culture shift after everything is
07:45over that people kind of pare things down you know that'd be interesting to see yeah you know
07:51speaking of of shifts in culture and just everything that's going on we can't not we can't talk about
07:58wellness and black women and not talk about what's happening in the world and it's just like crazy scary
08:03time you know even with the pandemic that was enough for us to deal with and then it's like you know
08:09we're dealing also with all of these civil rights and racism and violent struggles kind of happening
08:14all over i want to know because i've been rethinking mental health too and it's so important for us
08:21so i want to know what you're you know doing for yourself what your girlfriends are doing and what
08:26you guys are you know what you think black women should really be committing to ourselves in this time
08:32because it just feels more important than ever yeah and i and it's i think it's so important
08:38because black women we always show up first but quite often when it comes to that being reciprocated
08:46we're often thought of last so i have been you know really preaching to my friends to my following
08:54that you know you have to take time out from you for yourself because you can't pour from an empty cup
08:58um you know they're things that yes we need to step up and we need to fight for but i think we also
09:05need to have that balance um because again you know you can't pour from an empty cup and i think it's
09:12super important for us to really really take that time out and and i also think it can also reach into
09:19other aspects of life as well um you know just being careful of what you let in like what imagery that
09:26you're looking at on social media what imagery you're looking at on tv um you know we're seeing
09:31a lot of violent imagery and you know things that are not really great for the soul and i i think
09:40sometimes we just need to have that balance when it comes to what we take in and how often we show up
09:47absolutely you know it's so funny that you brought up balance because i've been thinking about it so much
09:53of late because for me finding the balance of you know being a wife being a mom being a you know
10:02career woman being a daughter a sister a friend i just you know i have to say you feel really pulled
10:10in a lot of directions and so for me really thinking rethinking balance has been key you know how have
10:16you been balancing you know all of the many many hats that you wear and still making that time for
10:22yourself and being able to you know do do all the things well and juggle all the things like what's
10:28your what's your secret for that i think one of the first things for me because do you remember when
10:33things started first we first started to um go into quarantine and everyone was like oh this is your
10:39time to start a business and you know this is like if you're not coming out of the quarantine with
10:46like stocks up to here and 10 businesses like you're not doing anything i don't listen to stuff like that
10:51i have learned a long time ago that that you know i can't do all things i can do some things
11:00really well but there are other things that i just really i just can't you know i just don't have the
11:05bandwidth for it and for me it's kind of like i only want to see positive things so i have like my filters
11:13i'm very selective about who i found in the media and you know just very careful about what i see and
11:21what kind of it's come in so i i just make sure that everything is balanced and that yeah you know
11:29that i'm not bombarded with negativity because you know i would be quick to hit the block button
11:34sometimes you know that my favorite thing that i always say is to block and bless you know you send
11:41people the blessing but you block them too so that you don't have to take that in yes i'm blessed
11:49well you know what's so funny too is i have been you know really thinking about the people how people
11:58are quarantining and who we're with um you know for me my family being with my husband and my son have
12:04been such a blessing who have you been quarantining with and you know have you been how have you been
12:10maintaining the relationships with the people that you can't see yeah um i've done lots of facetime
12:16lots of zoom calls i'm so grateful and thankful that my mom has been here during quarantine because
12:22you know i'm a mommy's girl i was like like oh mommy come here i mean our relationship wasn't always
12:30like that and you know but you know you learn to kind of like have that communication and really
12:36understanding where you know the each person is coming from um but i just i just love her and i've
12:42been spoiling her i've been like cooking all kinds of meals doing errands and things like that it's just
12:47like oh mommy thank you i love it well you know moms deserve to be spoiled right they they put in so
12:56much effort it really is rewarding when you've kind of had that be you know your life you've kind of
13:03you know been taken care of to be able to give back but you know with you as as someone who's so
13:09stylish and so innovative with your beauty looks and your hair looks tell me how your mom has
13:17influenced your style and if there's like a one you know skincare tip that you followed from her i'd love
13:24to hear that so i mean there are a lot my mom used to be the like in the epitome of 80s glamour
13:34you know when i grew up but i would have to say like something that all black i think that most or
13:39if not all black moms tell you and it's like don't come out this house looking ashy like make sure you
13:45look resentable and you know get that that out of your eye and you know just don't embarrass me
13:53you know how moms do yes it's so true it's funny too because my mom was the same or is the same
14:03exact way she was ultimate you know glam 80s she used to have the gold like everywhere just popping
14:09all the time yes yes but one thing that my mom was really adamant about too was making sure that i
14:17always take my makeup off she would always be like if i went to sleep in my makeup in the morning she'd
14:22look at me and like the glasses would jump to the end of the nose and she'd be like you still have
14:26your makeup on but i found that that really really helped my skin a lot to make sure that i was not
14:34only moisturizing it but that i was taking the time to really wash it and cleanse it that was such an
14:38important part for me yeah and i'm glad that she taught you that because well growing up you know i
14:44probably didn't start wearing makeup until i was like 21 22 so by then i kind of had like my own
14:49routine but it's so important to to know that because a lot of people are like you know what
14:54i'm just gonna sleep like this because i like my beat for the day i'm gonna sleep in it not only
14:58you're messing up the bedsheets but you're not you know you're not you can't properly take care of
15:02your skin if you've got you know layers of highlight and contour on so i'm glad your mom you know raised
15:08your right yes definitely so what is your because your skin like i said is just amazing so take me
15:17through are you like a you know cleanse moisturize serum vitamin c i like i feel sometimes a little
15:24bit overwhelmed by it so talk me through what's a kind of like simple routine that because that
15:29routine is also part of self-care of just like celebrating ourselves and taking that minute so
15:34take me through that yeah so some not everyone's skincare routine is going to look the same you know
15:40some people have elaborate multiple you know up to like 15 maybe 20 step routines you know that's
15:46fine you know people like that because the act of going through each of the step feels really like
15:50self-care um but the thing is you know a lot of us don't have that amount of time to really you know
15:57sit and prep with skin so um i personally like to like get in get out because the the quicker i'm able
16:04to kind of get through the routine the more i'm able to stick through it and the more i'm going to be
16:08consistent with it so you know making sure that i cleanse with a gentle cleanser um i cleanse twice a day
16:14i have oily skin i do sweat at night so i do find that a cleanse in the morning is great for me
16:19during the day i use a vitamin c serum that helps to protect me from you know all the gunk that's out
16:24there the new york city pollution you know sun damage um things like that um and of course you
16:31know i moisturize and then i put my sunscreen on sunscreen is a must i can't scream it loud enough
16:37that even i don't care how deep your complexion is you have to wear your sunscreen at night i do
16:44something similar you know i cleanse my skin um make sure i take off my makeup if i'm wearing makeup
16:50and then you know i'll go into my cleanse and i'll put on a retinol serum and my moisturizer and i hit
16:56the bed yeah i love it i'm all for efficiency yes yes one of the things you know when when we talk
17:05about again wellness as being such a broad topic but one of the things that's been really
17:10interesting to me is i think people have really started to understand how beauty and skincare and
17:16hair care are really not like vapid interests right they're they're really fundamental things of
17:24celebrating ourselves and celebrating our beauty um you know i would love to kind of know you know
17:30as someone who's been in it for so long and has been in the industry a really long time you
17:35know just how you came to really love the art of celebrating your beauty and really paying tribute
17:41to it you know in in your routines i'd love to hear about that yeah you know what's funny i when i first
17:48started out way back in 2007 um i didn't even have a picture of myself up because back then i sold
17:54investments and you know i had to kind of disclose what other outside business that i did so i was just
18:00like you know let me keep this separate but um you know things changed in blogging people were
18:05you know showing their outfits more people were taking selfies things like that something i gotta
18:10get out here i wasn't always comfortable having my photo taken i would have my photo taken and then
18:15like inspect every little inch of everything and see what i did wrong instead of like just you know
18:21being happy that i was in the moment there but i think the more that i got comfortable with taking my
18:27photos and seeing my my what my what i look like i think it's really helped and i tell women that all
18:35the time because a lot of us shy away from having our picture taken um especially professional
18:40pictures i think really have a way you get a good photographer who can catch those angles and make
18:47you look amazing you will feel amazing and and if not if that's not something that's you know in the
18:53cards for you you know everybody's got an iphone or something or a cell phone that they could use and
18:58just take pictures i find that having like being able to see your beauty um really helps it also helps to
19:05have representation so for me it was important to see other dark skin um beauty influencers fashion
19:12influencers um you know just people doing you know doing thing doing everything and being great at what
19:18they did and you know seeing people with my same hair texture so representation was really important
19:24but i also had to see that beauty inside of me first yeah yeah i think that's the the hardest part
19:31for so many of us right we really seeing that ourselves and giving ourselves the permission to
19:37say i'm i'm beautiful and i'm amazing and you know i know in my journey when i was you know trying to
19:44really accept myself through all phases because let me tell you after i had my son i really went
19:50through a time of just being like having to re-accept myself i had a new body and like was so busy and
19:55everything was different but i think one thing i've always done is kind of try to repeat to myself like
20:01you're beautiful you're fly you got this even if i wasn't believing it it was just the act of kind
20:06of continuously repeating it and for me definitely just taking care of my skin and taking care of
20:14myself has really given me that chance to honor myself and my skin so i just love your message and
20:20what you're about with that um can i ask you to who you know you mentioned seeing bloggers and
20:26people who look like you who inspires you that you're you know beauty wise professional wise
20:31anyway like i would just love to hear about who you're allowing you know by following to kind of
20:36pour into you with that inspiration yeah well definitely the main one the main one from day one
20:43my mom of course um and then there's just so many of my you know influencer friends like i could just
20:50you know go down the list i'm not going to try and name them because if i forget a few
20:54you know my phone might blow up i don't want that smoke you know so but i definitely love
21:03that there's so many like i like to see um you know like right now a lot of brands are like
21:10scrambling to you know oh we got to put some black people in here but i think that people really
21:16should understand that there's diversity within the black community um you know there are women
21:21of different sizes different skin tones different hair textures different sexual orientations you
21:27know there's so many people that are encompassed within you know what's black girl magic that i
21:33you know i just want to see it all so i have so many i i would name names i guess i don't want to
21:40forget anyone but no we don't we don't want this segment is about wellness we don't want anybody upset
21:49based right and you know retrograde so like today i've been having all kinds of ups and downs and i'm
21:56like i just want to take a nap i know i know it's so true but i love you know just for me like when we
22:06just had the essence challenge which came up where everybody was sharing their recreating their own
22:13essence
22:15it's such an opportunity to really see you know just like seeing what people were doing and seeing
22:23these beautiful essence covers really injected a new did you see it
22:30i did a lot i i was so happy when i saw that because when i saw the you know the other challenge
22:37i ain't gonna name names but you know the other challenge i was like okay that's cute but then
22:42when i saw so many people doing the essence challenge i was like yes sis do it show it i wanted to do one
22:49but again like i had 50 my brain constantly has like 50 tabs open so i was like i don't even know how
22:57what what what after they use what filter is this like how do i even get on here but i loved seeing
23:03it just warmed my heart i love seeing it you love to see it yeah it really was so so great and it was
23:10so you know it was just a great opportunity to see our audience and see the amazing women
23:14and men who follow us and people who were just inspired by us so we were we were so touched by that
23:20and i think for me um you know inspiration is just such a key thing you know tuning out the negative
23:28just like you were saying earlier in the conversation is so can be so tricky now because
23:33right our feeds are dominated by so many things so i've been really definitely actively seeking out
23:39positivity and seeking out you know just inspirational words too like i've been going back to like
23:45tony morrison and maya angela and people who've inspired me with that but one thing that i really
23:52love is the space of you know just black women celebrating each other and i think that's something
23:57so special that's happening online you know how do you you know i think my question i you know i think
24:05sometimes like we when we see the circles of positivity people say people try to act like that's not
24:11really there right like people say oh women are catty and they're arguing with each other but you know
24:15that's not what i see and that's the inspiration that i see so i'm i'm rambling in my excitement
24:20here but my question is you know my question is really just you know who in terms of like your
24:27circle is you know you mentioned your mom are you leaning on for that you know injection of positivity
24:34online and offline yeah i mean i just realized that my sister's probably watching and i did not
24:41say her and i'm like oh my god i'm a mommy's girl what can i say but yeah my i cannot get through
24:48like if my sister doesn't facetime me in a day i'm like calling her like what's up what happened why
24:54your phone's broken what happened so that's great um also i i just feel like black women
25:02we we're just amazing you know i i feel like what you put out is what you get back so if you're
25:10constantly thinking oh women are catty and you know women do this and you know this woman did that
25:14to me and this one did this to me that kind of negative negativity always comes back so i always
25:20feel like when you put something you know positive out you know you put your best intentions out that
25:27you always going to get that coming back to you because like i said before you know we're always
25:32showing up for everyone and you know quite often that's not reciprocated back to us as black women
25:37but sisters we are doing it for ourselves you know black women will always show up for black women
25:43and i'm i'm here for it yeah i love that i love that so you know i feel like i could talk to you
25:50all day i swear but i would love to you know i do know we are running out of time but i would love to
25:55ask you just you know as a final kind of note to get that inspiration from you you know what is
26:02really giving you hope right now yeah black women like i feel like i have such a i feel so privileged
26:12to talk to black women all day every day it's like you know i wake up and i walk around my well i don't
26:19really walk around the community as much these days you know you know why but you know there's so many
26:23great black women who live in my community you know um older women who you know i kind of lean on
26:28for advice and they kind of just give you that knowing kind of like hey baby kind of you know
26:33that kind of thing um and then even from you know the black women that are in my community online it's
26:40just like i it it makes me so happy to see that we always show up for each other and that just i mean
26:51like if you can bottle that up and sell it as a wellness product we'd be rich
26:57well listen i have to say thank you so much for this conversation you have injected some light into
27:04me i really appreciate that want to thank avino for bringing us together for this conversation about
27:10black women in wellness great to see you everybody enjoy essence festival virtual so much more to come
27:17and we will talk to you guys soon bye
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