- 8 hours ago
Coronation Street - Season 67 - Episode 17: Monday, 26Th January 2026
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00You
00:26What are you doing?
00:27I've been answering my calls.
00:28I've been answering all night.
00:30Is it true or not?
00:32Morning.
00:33Morning.
00:35Hey, I've been meaning to ask this lad something for a while.
00:37How fast can you run 5k?
00:39I've seen...
00:40I've started jogging again, you see.
00:41Oh, that's great.
00:43Yeah, well, I'm trying.
00:44I recently brought the...
00:45Half an hour about here.
00:46Not with these, obviously.
00:4816.29.
00:5016.29.
00:51Are you joking?
00:52Wow.
00:54I...
00:54I...
00:55I should borrow here.
00:5516.29.
00:57That's ridiculous.
00:57I've been trying to...
00:58But...
01:00I...
01:01I...
01:02I...
01:02I...
01:03I...
01:03I...
01:04I...
01:05I...
01:06I...
01:06I...
01:06I...
01:07I...
01:08so young athletes I've coached, probably half of them had a crush on me.
01:13Boys mainly, but girls as well.
01:18Lee was particularly bad.
01:21He was clinging.
01:23They're messaging me all the time.
01:26Chocolates, the expensive kind.
01:28He, um...
01:32He sent me...
01:33I took a picture with his top off, so I had to be firm with him.
01:36He didn't have sex with him.
01:38No.
01:39He didn't kiss him.
01:41Get your bus.
01:42Let me in.
01:42No, please.
01:43My hand's in the shower.
01:44Take two minutes.
01:48Oh, yeah.
01:52Sorry, it was all parties.
01:53Pretty decent.
01:53Hang on a minute.
01:54David's naked in the kitchen.
01:56What?
01:56Jokes.
01:58Don't do that to me.
02:00I was just on the way to the hospital.
02:01I wanted a word with your sister.
02:03Hi.
02:08Do not get into bed with Carl Webster.
02:11Literally or otherwise, he is a...
02:13Bad, bad seed.
02:15Oh, you think that's enough to put me off as my type, bad seeds?
02:18Really?
02:19Interesting.
02:20Oh, no.
02:20She left her husband for him.
02:21Turns out we were diddling bloke down to her.
02:23Bloke?
02:25Calls bi.
02:26Sexual.
02:27No, li-
02:28Of course he's bisexual.
02:29Right, call it quick.
02:30Look.
02:31Women offer Mr. Warning.
02:33Signs because we're too busy getting charmed and flattered or whatever.
02:35But, well, I am the one.
02:38Signs because we're too busy getting charmed and flattered.
02:39Take it from someone who knows.
02:41Understood.
02:43Is that my cup?
02:45I'll leave you to it.
02:46See ya.
02:48Oh, it is.
02:49I'm off too.
02:50Oh, give Harper a kiss for me.
02:51I will.
02:51Hey, don't forget what's said about the griddle.
02:53Switch on the left.
02:54The right!
02:56The right!
02:58You kidding?
03:01Well, turned up in a half.
03:03What else?
03:05Library card's in the pocket as well.
03:08Look inside.
03:13Pulls ashes.
03:16Pulls ashes.
03:16Pulls ashes.
03:18What the odds?
03:18What the odds?
03:23Morning, Rye.
03:24Morning.
03:25Ah, morning.
03:26You don't know who that belongs to, do you?
03:28Found it in the living room before.
03:30I think it's Daniel's.
03:32Oh, Daniel!
03:33Talk about Dan with the kids.
03:34I know.
03:36I'll give it back to him.
03:37All right.
03:38Have some.
03:43There you go.
03:48Hey, fair place to whoever stole the bag.
03:52It's like a message.
03:53from someone.
03:53I mean, I don't want to say God, but Billy, perhaps.
03:57Perhaps.
03:58Yeah, that's what I thought.
03:59Mm-hmm.
04:00The universe...
04:03There's nowhere else like it.
04:05There's nowhere else like it.
04:08Right, listen, I'm going to get to the wholesalers.
04:09You okay?
04:10Yeah, of course.
04:11Cool.
04:13Cool.
04:26Here you go.
04:29Hey, man.
04:32Bye.
04:36Bye.
04:40Bye.
04:40Bye.
04:41Bye.
04:41Bye.
04:42Bye.
04:38Sorry, we're all out.
04:41Ken bought the last tin yesterday.
04:43Apparently, Cassie is a fiend for him.
04:45Alice suffers from travel sickness.
04:47How far she had to come?
04:49On the South Lakes.
04:50She's visiting her cousin while she's down.
04:52An auntie, too, I believe.
04:54Killing two birds with one stone.
04:56Three birds.
04:57Roy, the cousin, the auntie.
04:59I thought I'd give her some as a gift.
05:02Dead.
05:02Bev sells them.
05:03Since when?
05:04Since they started flying off my shelves.
05:06And he's undercutting me on the...
05:07The price of sticky tape as well.
05:08Oh, you must feel very nervous.
05:10Oh, not at all.
05:11We may cup with a raft...
05:12The raft of superior stationery.
05:14I meant Roy.
05:15I...
05:15Somewhat.
05:16Blind dates are tricky.
05:20Well, it starts as if you...
05:21He doesn't know her.
05:22I mean, all that correspondence that's passed between them.
05:25It's extremely romantic.
05:26Have you sent each other pictures?
05:31As in, see what you're gonna get.
05:33Of course they haven't.
05:35Roy would consider that vibe.
05:36Holger and imagine Alice would too.
05:38We are pen pals attending a convention.
05:41I'm sure...
05:41I'm sure it will all be perfectly civilised.
05:44Yeah.
05:45Are you gonna make a move on her?
05:46Brian!
05:47Well, if the opportunity presents itself,
05:49an arm around the shoulder,
05:50a peck on a blush of...
05:51cheek...
05:52She might not use blusher.
05:53If she's made the effort,
05:56you'll...
05:56No, it's on.
05:57Lipstick.
05:58Eyeshadow.
06:00Not every woman...
06:01Feels the need to disguise herself.
06:04The plainer her appearance,
06:05the more confident she'll be...
06:06Be in your company.
06:07Make-up is a tell.
06:09Au natural is a tell.
06:11Oh, shit.
06:11Scrubbed clean like a farmer's wife.
06:13Goosey dope like she's standing at the docks at Marseille.
06:16That's not what I was suggesting.
06:18I am merely championing the cause of rest...
06:21You don't have to tell him that.
06:23His middle name is restraint.
06:25Well, let's hope it's...
06:26Reflected in his soulmate.
06:28I think we might be overestimating the...
06:31significance of the preliminary encounter.
06:33Rendez-vous.
06:34Dallions.
06:35Meet cute.
06:35They've already met.
06:36Writing is a meeting.
06:38Well, it is of sorts.
06:39IRL.
06:39What?
06:40In real life.
06:41Writing is real life.
06:43Texting is real life.
06:44Oh, Alice Cropper.
06:46Doesn't that sound fabulous?
06:48Oh, she's not bound for the West End.
06:51She's going...
06:51To a bat forum at the Rotary Club on Ferry Lane.
06:55Now...
06:56Is there anything else I can get you, Ro?
06:58Is there anything else I can get you, Ro?
07:00Is there anything else I can get you, Ro?
07:01What was your skull?
07:03I thought I left on the bus.
07:06Damn it.
07:06I told her it was Daniel's.
07:09Do not wear it for a while.
07:11Do not wear it for a while.
07:12Do not wear it for a while.
07:12Do not wear it for a while.
07:13Do not wear it for a while.
07:14Do not wear it for a while.
07:15Do not wear it for a while.
07:16Do not wear it for a while.
07:17Do not wear it for a while.
07:18Do not wear it for a while.
07:19Do not wear it for a while.
07:20Do not wear it for a while.
07:21Do not wear it for a while.
07:22Do not wear it for a while.
07:23Do not wear it for a while.
07:24Do not wear it for a while.
07:25Do not wear it for a while.
07:26Do not wear it for a while.
07:27Do not wear it for a while.
07:28Do not wear it for a while.
07:29Do not wear it for a while.
07:30Do not wear it for a while.
07:31Do not wear it for a while.
07:32Do you know, Ken Bartlow bought three tins the other day.
07:37Apparently, Steve's girlfriend is addicted.
07:41Oh, what is sh-
07:42What is she called?
07:44Tyrone's mum.
07:45C-Cassie.
07:47Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!
07:51Are you alright?
07:52No.
07:53I need to check my levels. I think I'm hyper.
07:57Hi, Po. I need my insulin.
07:59Oh.
08:02There's a young fella to see, Leanne's boy.
08:08Hey.
08:10Right, well, er, what do you want?
08:12I'm gonna go running.
08:16What?
08:18Whose jacket is that?
08:20It's mine.
08:21Why?
08:22Miss Walsh said it was Miss Rosborn's this morning.
08:25Yeah, but I was out training and-
08:27And she was cold, so she borrowed it.
08:30What then lied?
08:31I don't know, maybe she-
08:32She thought it was Daniel's.
08:33Or, I-I mean, Mr. Rosborn's.
08:34Or, maybe she just forgot.
08:35Are you with Miss Walsh, haven't you?
08:37In an inappropriate relationship.
08:39You sound- you sound like you're about 60.
08:40What does that even mean?
08:42A sexual relationship between an adult and a minor.
08:45A minor?
08:46A minor.
08:47A minor.
08:47You know, someone under the age of consent.
08:49Okay, right.
08:50Well, first of all, I'm 16.
08:51And second of all-
08:52You think I'd have a chance for Miss Walsh?
08:53She's absolutely roasting.
08:54And don't act like you don't agree with me.
08:56You really think she-
08:57She go out with me.
08:58I know I said you guys were going out with each other.
08:59How long has she been coaching you?
09:00Okay, right.
09:01You're starting to get on my nerves.
09:02I know.
09:03I can help.
09:04You know, you better not mention this to anyone.
09:06Mention what?
09:07This-
09:07Silly idea.
09:08I'm just trying to be your friend.
09:10Yeah, well, I'm all good for nerd little weird-
09:12It's illegal.
09:13I can tell a teacher-
09:14Tell a teacher what?
09:16Tell a teacher what?
09:17Like she's praying on you.
09:18And maybe she prayed on the other kid too.
09:20You're not telling any teachers this.
09:22In fact, you're not telling anyone this.
09:24Understood?
09:42We'll get through this because people do.
09:47Perhaps counselling would help.
09:50I don't want to talk about it.
09:52Well, I know it's very difficult, but...
09:57Alcohol may not be the answer.
10:00I'll tell that to Nina.
10:02Dragging me...
10:02There were plenty of other things that you and Nina could have...
10:07There were plenty of other things that you've done.
10:09The People's History Museum.
10:11John Ryland's life.
10:12Library, the Museum of Science and Industry.
10:14Yeah.
10:15Because I'd go and look at some old cogs and...
10:17Pistons and then everything will be okay.
10:22Nina was in your shoes.
10:24Nina was in your shoes.
10:27I know you.
10:29I'm sorry.
10:31I didn't mean to be for...
10:32Look, Roy, you must have things to do.
10:36No, Will.
10:40No, Will.
10:41Sit here as long as you like.
10:44Ladies!
10:45Carl, what's the cat...
10:46Capital of Slovenia?
10:48Er, Ljubljana.
10:50Suits you.
10:51What does...
10:52The apron, the grease, the air, a panic.
10:56I'm not in a...
10:56Can you spell it?
10:58Yeah.
10:59Well, Steve McDonnell said you burnt his toast, so...
11:01What can I get you?
11:05Whatever's good.
11:06Is this...
11:07Supposed to be like banter or something?
11:09Nah, she's got your number.
11:11She has my number and she texted it at one in the morning.
11:16Maybe I should...
11:16Read it out loud, make these three blush.
11:19Or, maybe, you should go somewhere else.
11:21Er, what did Happy say then?
11:26I've had my filial type.
11:28Homewreckers with the sideline and two-timing.
11:31Although he's...
11:31Cute, that bloke at number three.
11:33And we'll give you that.
11:34Maybe I'll get my bacon water somewhere else.
11:36Oh, is she not a fancier second date?
11:41Thanks for the intel.
11:46Spoken to Roy.
11:50What a snitch.
11:51How many you had?
11:55Two, three.
11:56Four.
11:59But I've put the money in the till.
12:00Look, you can check.
12:01Go home.
12:04No, don't fire me.
12:06You're not ready yet.
12:06I don't need time off.
12:09I'm an old pro at this.
12:11At least...
12:11I've run out of people I can lose now.
12:14Apart from Todd.
12:15I don't need to.
12:16Maybe I'll put a curse on them all.
12:19Maybe I've hexed them without knowing it.
12:21Look, I'm...
12:21I'm not firing you.
12:22I want you to agree for as long as you need.
12:24And then come back.
12:24I can bet when you are ready.
12:26No, I don't...
12:26I'm like grieving.
12:31Will you give that to Bernie?
12:35Are you sure?
12:36Is something right?
12:40She'll appreciate that.
12:41I don't think she's...
12:41She's coping very well.
12:42I want to work, Deb.
12:43And I am saying no.
12:45Well, because of a few little...
12:46Cocktails.
12:47Go home.
12:49Please.
12:50Okay, before anybody else comes in, Iz.
12:51It's just too late for the heart.
12:54Sally's been in.
12:55I'm a fizz.
12:56Word all sp...
12:56Bread.
12:57The devil I was drinking on the job
12:59first his own daughter
13:00and now me.
13:01So I'm being nice to you.
13:03Well, you're not, though, are you?
13:05You're saying go home, Iz.
13:06I don't want to stare at the ceiling.
13:09I just want things to be normal, Deb.
13:11But why didn't you tell me he was there
13:15when Leanne gave you my jacket?
13:16I didn't think.
13:19Well, now he knows you lied.
13:21Well, we've covered our tracks.
13:24They're not going to find anything incriminating.
13:26Unless they check the CCTV at various hotels in Burium.
13:31What if Sam tells Leanne?
13:36Here, look.
13:37I'll talk to him.
13:38And say what?
13:39I don't know.
13:40Sound him out.
13:41We need to shut this down.
13:44Shall we do the quiz?
13:46What?
13:46Just the two of them?
13:46Sport, packaging, fast food.
13:50Could do without, Joseph.
13:51Cock it.
13:52He's good with cock programmes and true crime.
13:55He knows who Jack the Ripper is.
13:56We'll spit in some air.
13:58I promise I won't tell.
14:00No way.
14:01Well, that looks very secretive.
14:03No.
14:04Are we quizzing?
14:05Or considering it?
14:06Just the two of you?
14:08I might touch Gary.
14:10The trophies have gone.
14:11As good as yours.
14:13You'll have to rearrange.
14:15I assume you told her.
14:16Of course he...
14:16And she'll be all the more happy when she finally makes his acquaintance.
14:21He's...
14:21Made her acquaintance.
14:22In person.
14:23Oh, not this again.
14:25You'll have to send us...
14:26And some flowers.
14:27No doubt in for business.
14:28That would be a thoughtful gesture.
14:31Travel sweets.
14:31Except you lack the foresight to restock them.
14:36A consignment is on its way.
14:39She'll think you're hard to get.
14:41And that's what plays very well with us women folk.
14:46You know, us local business leaders should stick together.
14:51Business leaders?
14:53I like that.
14:54Well, that's if you even have a business.
14:56After Leigh-Anne Battersby's finished rearranging the pieces on the checkerboard.
15:01Sorry.
15:01Oh, I can see she hasn't put you in the picture.
15:05Now, why does that not surprise you?
15:06About what?
15:09Didn't she just offer to buy me...
15:11Out of my own pub?
15:13And with what money?
15:15I hear you ask.
15:16Has she offered to buy into the Rovers?
15:19I can see I've spoken out of turn.
15:21And when did she make you this offer?
15:23All the sisters hatching their little schemes.
15:26Behind our backs, around their cauldron.
15:31And what did you say to them?
15:31Very rarely do I use curse words.
15:36I live...
15:36I live as a bash.
15:41I live as a bash.
16:00Nice to meet you, eh?
16:05What's this gibberish you're reading?
16:10You mean the German?
16:12Oh, that's German.
16:14And you understand?
16:15Uh, yeah. Yeah, I do.
16:20So, did you enjoy my little performance earlier?
16:25Which one?
16:27The one in the cafe.
16:30What do you think?
16:35Why, though?
16:36What's it to them?
16:37Well...
16:39I won't get the third-
16:40I don't agree with my sister this way.
16:42And it keeps your ex off our case.
16:44Anyway...
16:46Isn't this your speciality?
16:47Keeping things under wraps?
16:49Ugh!
16:50And we can have a lot more fun this way, too.
16:55Oh!
16:56Yeah?
16:57Yeah!
16:59Go!
17:00Hey, what's up with you?
17:04Nothing.
17:06Well, some it's up. I'm not that daft.
17:08I know that look.
17:09I used to catch it on.
17:10I used to catch it on Si's face all the time.
17:12And it always meant that he was bottling something up.
17:15You're not being bullied, are you?
17:19Are you sure?
17:20Okay.
17:24Listen, you do know that...
17:25You can talk to me about anything, don't you?
17:28And when I say anything, I mean anything.
17:30And if you don't want to talk to me, then you can always talk to your dad.
17:35I'll tell you.
17:38Are we teacher?
17:40Or even a policeman come to that.
17:45Right, I'll go and get you some samosas.
17:47We made the loads today.
17:49Leanne!
17:50Can I have a word?
17:52Oh, I hope.
17:53What have I done now?
17:55What have I done now?
18:00Cast a bed, her work here, and still one is waiting.
18:05To be served.
18:06Oi!
18:07I heard that.
18:09Ladies and gentlemen.
18:10You know the drill.
18:12No phones on the table or underneath it.
18:15No calling, a relative, a friend, or an enemy.
18:19And no bringing your phone into the bathroom.
18:23And remember, there is a prize for best team name.
18:29Goddard?
18:30Loud and clear.
18:31I'm nervous.
18:31Are you?
18:32No, it's just a little fun.
18:33You made the right call.
18:36There'll be another date with Alice, I'm sure.
18:38Oh, then you'll be in Wonderland.
18:42Perhaps.
18:43Perhaps.
18:43Perhaps.
18:43Perhaps.
18:44Question one.
18:46The cardboard box was in...
18:48Question one.
18:48Invented by English company M. Treverton & Son in the 90s.
18:53But in which decade?
18:58And was it Kirk?
19:04Question two.
19:07What bird?
19:08I didn't go behind your back. I was just sounding her out, that's all.
19:12And if she'd said yes?
19:13Well then obviously I would have spoken to you and we would have come to some arrangement.
19:17What sort of arrangement?
19:18I'm not saying I would have gone through with it.
19:20Like you would have been gone like a shot to run that bug-
19:24Oh Alia, come on, it's not that simple.
19:26And if I ever gone down that path then-
19:28Obviously I would have given you first dibs.
19:30I thought I'd found someone I could trust.
19:31Yeah?
19:32Well they tell you someone you-
19:33You can't trust that duplicitous hag on the corner.
19:35I'm not sure she's the duplicitous one.
19:37Alright, look-
19:38I sounded her out, she said no. End of story.
19:40There was no need to trouble you with this news and she knows that.
19:43Well I'd rather people were just straight with me in the first place.
19:45Have I ever caused you any bother? Have I?
19:47Since I was-
19:48First with your dad.
19:49Have I ever been anything but decent to you?
19:52Yeah, exactly.
19:53And all she's done since the minute she got here is stir the pot.
19:56You ask Glenda, or Sean, or my sister-
19:58Yeah, I know, she can be tricky.
20:00Okay, I'm not saying-
20:03I couldn't have gone about things a bit differently.
20:05And for what it's worth, I'm sorry, but come on, Alia.
20:07This is me-
20:08Who are you talking to?
20:09I wasn't about to leave you high and dry.
20:11You promise?
20:12Yeah.
20:13I promise.
20:16Hi, Sam.
20:18So are you playing rugby this afternoon?
20:20Prop a little fly half in the making, aren't you?
20:23I am.
20:26I am.
20:27I am.
20:28I am.
20:29I hear you've been having some funny thoughts about me.
20:33Or in a jacket.
20:34I am.
20:35I am.
20:36I am.
20:37I am.
20:38I am.
20:39This is a bit awkward, isn't it?
20:41I tell you what, let me treat you like-
20:43an equal for a moment.
20:46Some boys-
20:48get crushes on me.
20:50Some of those crushes-
20:53are bigger than others.
20:55He told you.
20:56He told you.
20:58I beg your pardon.
20:59I beg your pardon.
21:03I am.
21:04I am.
21:05I'm his coach.
21:07I've no-
21:08known him for years, so we had a laugh about it.
21:13But-
21:13I don't know if anyone really thought there was something going on.
21:17then it wouldn't be very funny, would it?
21:19I am.
21:20I am.
21:21I am.
21:22I am.
21:23I am.
21:24I am.
21:25Understand.
21:29Do you understand?
21:34Yeah.
21:38It's tough.
21:39Blakeman.
21:44Blakeman.
21:49Blakeman.
21:54Blakeman.
21:59Blakeman.
22:04Blakeman.
22:09Blakeman.
22:14Blakeman.
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