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00:29Oh, yeah. Yes! Yes! Andy!
00:45Hello. This rather bleak episode of Taskmaster Class comes to you from the future.
00:51Hello, little Alex Horne.
00:53Hello, Greg Davis. That's right. For us, it's the year 2048.
00:58Let's be honest, it's been a tough couple of decades for everyone.
01:02Indeed, Greg. A few years back, society completely collapsed, which is a pain.
01:07But we thought it might be fun to see if the Taskmaster Archives harboured any harbingers of the current state of anarchy.
01:15Yes, and it turns out there were loads of warning signs that historians cannot believe we ignored.
01:21A lot of them involved Noel Fielding, weirdly.
01:24Yes. Let's examine his rap sheet.
01:27First, he chopped up a camel with obvious glee.
01:30And with a surprising level of psychopathy for a presenter of a harmless cake show.
01:34If only I had sharper scissors, I could have put more of the camel through the gap.
01:40Second, he legally married a duck.
01:43Like cats walking on hind legs, that was a clear sign of an imminent apocalypse.
01:48Noel, I now pronounce you wife and ducky. You may kiss the doe.
01:52Bop! Bop! Bop!
01:55And third, he made me do this.
01:58You ready? I think so.
01:59You've never been the same since.
02:01This was the beginning of your weird hand fetish, wasn't it?
02:03A tiny bit more. A tiny bit more.
02:05Yes, I think so.
02:07I feel something a bit lower.
02:09Are we shaking hands yet?
02:10I think we're shaking hands.
02:12That's what was so sinister about Fielding, though.
02:15He had no qualms in dragging others into his manic world of discord.
02:23Land the flower on the target.
02:25You may not leave the bandstand.
02:26Most flower lying loose on the target wins.
02:28You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now.
02:31It all started off okay.
02:33There's some good ideas here, mainly from Joe Lycer to Nolly at a faux pay.
02:38Yes!
02:39That's it.
02:40That's it.
02:41That's it.
02:42So now, look, we can pass things down.
02:43We can pass things down this.
02:45Attach it to this with a clip.
02:46Yes.
02:47There is some quite good teamwork.
02:49Look, look!
02:50Yeah!
02:51If it was a better sort of pouch, that would have been genius.
02:54But then there's Noel ripping apart a fox.
02:57Can I cut the fox open?
02:58Like a drug mule.
02:59Due to form.
03:00You've got it, the fox.
03:01The signs are always there when you look.
03:04That's it.
03:05That's it.
03:06That's it.
03:07Yes!
03:08Yes!
03:09Yes!
03:10Oh, what about making it wet and turning it into, like, snowballs?
03:13Loving that.
03:14Yes, this was a really good idea.
03:15Very smart from Joe.
03:16Oh!
03:17Yes!
03:18Gail!
03:19But then it all unreaded.
03:20as Fielding begins to weave his web of evil.
03:21Yes, mate!
03:22Corrupting the young minds of his suggestible teammates.
03:23Oh!
03:24Oh!
03:25Yes!
03:26Gail!
03:27But then it all unravels as Fielding begins to weave his web of evil.
03:30Yes, mate!
03:31Corrupting the young minds of his suggestible teammates.
03:33We're not done.
03:34Time's up.
03:35You could stop throwing things at the table now.
03:49Throwing a gas canister wasn't even the worst thing you did in that task.
03:54There's one other detail.
03:55They had slightly longer.
03:56I don't know if that's fair or not.
03:58Why?
03:59Because Noel meddled with my timing system.
04:02Well, have you got proof of that?
04:06Luckily, yes.
04:07Your clock's not moving.
04:09Did you press pause on that?
04:10I did not!
04:11You did press pause on that.
04:12That was not me!
04:13Noel pressed pause on the clock.
04:14I absolutely did not!
04:15Rampant dishonesty like this became a symptom of our diseased society, and Noel wasn't the
04:26only culprit.
04:27Oh, Lord, no.
04:29Cereal cheater Dave Gorman was far worse.
04:36It wasn't so close.
04:37No.
04:38The old chagrin Jaguar was far worse.
04:40It was a good boy.
04:41Frozen pee.
04:42Propel this pee the furthest distance.
04:46Your pee must land and remain on the red carpet.
04:51red carpet this ain't gonna work is it you gave me a green pea any clues the
05:04grass I can't see on the carpet yeah we could spend a lot of time looking for a
05:08pea is it on the road it's on the carpet yeah okay I've got a measuring tape yes
05:23have you got a spare pea it had to be that P I'm afraid it's got to be that exact
05:27pea it's like finally a pea in a haystack shit I'm just gonna go and have a sit down
05:35can I get you anything a P not to you just like I quite like a P to compare it
05:40to oh as a comparison yeah that would be nice and also you know I just like a as
05:44a snack of frozen I will get your people I will mark the P if you wouldn't mind
05:48okay thank you very much it's a new personal best 18 meters and 27 hey I'm
06:00glad you went again now for your P but I don't think you should eat it because I
06:04sort of injected it with black ink I do trust you but I don't entirely trust
06:10you okay no that's fine I'm just gonna I'm gonna eat this one you reason it yeah
06:17swallow oh my god it's waiting the strings of the of the racket
06:26yeah
06:32well unlucky I suppose Paul no score no score on that one
06:38would you like us to measure that yeah
06:44no that's not as far as close to that leaf are you sure do you want to measure it anyway
06:50yeah measure it anyway because it's on there congratulations on 12 meters 11
06:54thank you very much I'm very very pleased with that please I can't imagine someone
06:58beating 12 meters yeah respectable yes okay let's cut to the chase here yeah I'm gonna ask you a
07:13question yeah very simple question yeah and I want you to answer honestly you're not in trouble
07:19but I'm asking you directly now yeah did you cheat no I'm gonna ask you one more time
07:29did you cheat no Greg no I did not we can see the racket there so that's where it got it got wedged I
07:43mean it looks firmly wedged doesn't it Dave it was wedged yeah I mean you can also see the racket
07:46just after you struck the P um P's gone or has it
08:04I know what's happened here I know what's happened here at some point while trying to search for the
08:11P I was using the racket despite the fact that we always caught cheats because we filmed the tasks
08:20with lots of cameras to put on television others still trying to deceive us here's Sean Gibson in a
08:26simple colored ball catching task with her honest teammate Joe Thomas there's one thing I could show you
08:32it's just something I noticed after the final ball was propelled
08:37what am I right
08:38oh my god
08:47it's waiting now
08:49I feel like I've been stabbed in the back
09:06in Taskmaster history we have never forgiven cheating
09:24I'm afraid cheating is rewarded by disqualification
09:27so not me not Joe I'm afraid so and that's something you're going to have to live with
09:37and even Sean Gibson is cheating it should have been self-evident that the world was heading to hell in a
09:42handcart still that wasn't the one that hurt me the most
09:45you know what the hell make an exercise ball touch Bernard Bernard can't move who's Bernard
09:59you may launch an exercise ball from behind the line down there and may not touch any balls after each launch
10:09most balls actively involved in a successful launch wins your task ends when a ball touches Bernard or 15 minutes of elapsed
10:21I hope Bernard's a puppy or something
10:23I don't know who Bernard is
10:25who is Bernard
10:26oh damn
10:30it's a pretend man
10:36do I get one attempt to release a ball?
10:38as many as you want until you hit Bernard all 15 minutes of that
10:41can you lie there on your side like you're spooning like your big spoon Papa spoon Alex
10:47all right
10:51boom
10:53okay good just stay like that
10:57oh
11:00oh
11:02oh
11:04oh
11:05two minutes John
11:06yep
11:12look at that ball control
11:14knock knock knock knock knock bang bang
11:18er
11:20John Virgo
11:22it really is just 40 seconds now
11:23yep
11:24Good luck.
11:54Here we go, here we go, here we go.
12:04Okay, it's on its way.
12:07Yes, that's a good throw.
12:10That is a very good throw.
12:12Right, Alex, get ready.
12:14Okay, release.
12:21Yes!
12:23Look at all those hits.
12:25Yeah.
12:26It's the planning for me.
12:36Look at Mania.
12:37That is the body language of someone who thinks he's got away with something.
12:41But Mania, as he saw, 15 balls, he laid them all out.
12:43It was wonderful.
12:44Do you want to see it one more time?
12:45Yeah, I do. Incredible.
12:47That's a good throw.
12:48That is a very good throw.
12:49Right, Alex, get ready.
12:51Okay, release.
12:52Release.
12:53Release.
12:58This hit you so hard, didn't it, Greg?
13:00Yeah!
13:01When we lose the youth, Alex, we lose everything.
13:03What you don't know can't hurt you.
13:04Oh, God.
13:05It's like a scene from King Lear, isn't it?
13:18And that's the body language of pure guilt.
13:23When Mania chased points over honour, I had a feeling that the world was doomed.
13:28Oh, no!
13:30I don't want to believe any more.
13:32Hello again.
13:42It's the year 2048 and civilisation has completely collapsed.
13:47Do we have a visual metaphor for how quickly it happened, Alex?
13:50Why, yes, of course.
13:51Looking back, signs of society's impending downfall were evident on Taskmaster.
14:03High five a 55-year-old.
14:05Fastest wins.
14:06Your time starts now.
14:07For example, humanity's self-destructive win-at-all-cost mentality was reflected in our very first
14:13series by the profoundly immoral Tim Key.
14:16Excuse me.
14:18I'm doing a, um, shooting a TV show for comic relief.
14:22Is it possible to high-five you?
14:26Sure.
14:28And how old are you?
14:2955.
14:30I'm done.
14:41Just the quickest, Tim, the second quickest.
14:43It's depending whether you want to factor in any of the charity lying.
14:47The only way to make it right is for Tim Key to pledge something to comic relief, right?
14:50Yeah, fine.
14:51How much?
14:52185 pounds.
14:54185 pounds.
14:55Where's that come from?
14:56It feels right.
14:57It feels right.
14:58It's not too much, but it's quite a lot of money.
15:01At the moment, you're going to take four juicy points, Om.
15:03You're in second place.
15:04I'm going to drop you down to third unless you give 185 pounds to comic relief.
15:07Yes or no?
15:08Okay, how much to go back up to one?
15:09No way!
15:10Shut up!
15:11Shut up, Josh!
15:12Don't point at me.
15:13I'd never even thought of that.
15:14You're dodgy!
15:15Look at the way he's sitting!
15:17I always sit like this!
15:19What could I get for 500?
15:22How much for first?
15:2412 and a half grand.
15:27Ooh, you sod!
15:30Take it or leave it?
15:32Hold it!
15:33Can I buy second?
15:34In fact, I think I'll buy first.
15:37What was it?
15:3812 and a half grand?
15:39I've probably got that on me.
15:42This sort of grubby grab for points by flaunting the undeserved wealth of comedians became prevalent in prize tasks.
15:50For this show's prize item, we donned our thinking caps and then asked them to bring in the hippest item of headwear.
15:57Oh.
15:58Mark Watson.
15:59Well, I've got a hat which has neon on it and it lights up with the Taskmaster logo.
16:05Can I show it to you?
16:06Woo!
16:07Oh, my Jesus Christ!
16:11I used a little trick we call paying £400.
16:14Imagine how awful it would be, though, if you spent all that money and then the person judging decided that you should probably go last.
16:30This week we've asked the contestants to bring in the nicest thing to hold.
16:39Ian, what have you brought in?
16:41£200 in cold hard cash.
16:43There it is.
16:44You can hold it, you can buy things with it, you can throw it up in the air, pretend you're in the crystal maze.
16:50OK.
16:51A money clip makes me feel like I'm a bit...
16:54Yeah, what?
16:56Go on, now, come here, sweetheart, go on.
16:59You have whatever you want up to the value of £200.
17:02Ooh, that does feel nice.
17:07This time we've asked them to bring in, for the prize, the most cash.
17:12OK.
17:14Lolly.
17:15What I've done is I've brought in a blank cheque, and I'm just going to put one p more than whoever is in the lead.
17:23And then just win.
17:24There's a cheque.
17:26Yeah, but are you good for it, Lolly?
17:30Oh, yes.
17:31What cash have you got?
17:32Well, I'm sitting on £2,000.
17:37What do you mean?
17:38In cash.
17:39What?
17:42I just thought, just have a back-up.
17:44I have £2,000.
17:45So, I've answered that.
17:51Lolly.
17:53Very strong.
18:01We can't criticise Lolly too much, considering the prize category, but others had less of an excuse.
18:07Yes, Al Murray was far more brazen, wasn't he?
18:09He was constantly pulling notes from his fat wallet to give himself an expensive advantage.
18:15Ironically, a cheap move.
18:17See how far we can get the P to go?
18:18OK.
18:19Yes, there was £150 on a cab ride to take a P in a carpet to Slough.
18:25This is fantastic.
18:26The short-term hire of a massive gong.
18:29Here he comes.
18:43Here he comes.
18:44And more transport costs to spread his clothes across South London.
18:48Oh, I'm throwing cash at the problem.
18:49Yeah.
18:50Yeah.
18:51There were three different vehicles involved.
18:52My taxi cost £60, which is, you know, you could buy a sofa.
18:53I'm selling a sofa at the moment.
18:54£60.
18:55What did well was the clothes went in different directions at the same time.
18:59You paid a man to just walk with some clothing.
19:00Yeah.
19:01Yeah.
19:02Yeah.
19:03Very impressive.
19:04You're going to be on a loss at the end of this series, the amount of money you've spent on...
19:05Yeah.
19:06What price glory?
19:07Currently £340.
19:08But one incident was worse than all of those.
19:09Are you still ashamed of what happened?
19:10Because if you're not, I want to know why not.
19:11Yes.
19:12Yes, I am.
19:13Move the water from bucket A to bucket B. I saw this coming a mile away.
19:16You're not going to be on a lot of money.
19:17You're not going to be on a lot of money.
19:18I'm not going to be on a lot of money.
19:19You're not going to be on a lot of money.
19:20So, just walk with some clothing.
19:21Yeah.
19:22Yeah.
19:23Very impressive.
19:24You're going to be on a loss at the end of this series, the amount of money you've spent
19:26on...
19:27Yeah.
19:28What price glory?
19:29Currently £340.
19:30But one incident was worse than all of those.
19:31Are you still ashamed of what happened?
19:32Because if you're not, I want to know why not.
19:33Yes.
19:34Yes, I am.
19:35Move the water from bucket A to bucket B.
19:41I saw this coming a mile away.
19:43You must not move the bucket.
19:45Most water moved wins.
19:47You have ten minutes.
19:49Your time starts...
19:50Not quite this...
19:52What have I got?
19:53Oh!
19:54Oh!
19:55What's happening?
19:56Why is there a hole in this bag?
19:58I'm not allowed to move the bucket, but you are.
20:00No, I'm not, unfortunately.
20:01Because I don't want to.
20:02It's too cold.
20:03Hang on.
20:08Oh, here we go.
20:10How many bags are in?
20:11I've got £115 on me.
20:16That'll warm you up.
20:17Come on.
20:19Don't run me.
20:20I don't want to spin it.
20:21Oh, no, do run me.
20:22Don't run me out of time.
20:23Oh, my God!
20:26Two and a half minutes.
20:29Can I have £10 now, please?
20:30Yes!
20:32Yeah, there you go.
20:34Yeah!
20:35Thanks, Al.
20:36You like the money, don't you?
20:38He likes the money.
20:40Yes!
20:41I'm not going to go...
20:42Put it next to the other bucket.
20:43I'm not going to go any further, Al.
20:44Okay.
20:49For £20, you lift the other bucket up.
20:53Have the money?
20:54Yeah.
20:55Hold the bucket.
20:56There we go.
20:57Yes!
20:58Look at that.
20:59That's fantastic.
21:01Look at that.
21:02Oh, Moneybags Murray.
21:03This whole series has been like watching how Donald Trump would do things.
21:17I mean, you have been throwing money around.
21:20How much is it that?
21:21And it's gross, the way he, like, gives it away to you.
21:23Like, you're a little mouse.
21:24It works!
21:25It also...
21:26Listen, as disgusted as I was by watching Al's display of wealth,
21:31I am far more disgusted with someone else in this room.
21:38What have you done with that £80?
21:41I bought some rounds in the bar and pretended it was my money.
21:45OK.
21:46I'll pass judgement on the points in a minute,
21:48but first there must be an extra penalty for you.
21:50Take one of your shoes and socks off.
21:55One of my...
21:56Really?
21:57Yeah.
21:58That's the punishment?
21:59Yeah.
22:00OK.
22:01I don't like it.
22:02Good.
22:04You're a disgrace.
22:05I'm embarrassed to call you my son.
22:07You are right to scold me, Daddy.
22:10To try and win your trust again, I've done some graphs.
22:13I hate graphs.
22:14I'm not a nerd.
22:15Oh well, here they are anyway.
22:17This one shows you how much each of these contestants spent in their pursuit of points.
22:22Lolly showing true dedication there.
22:24Yes.
22:25However, this next graph shows the pounds to points ratio for each contestant.
22:31And we can see that Al's tactics were in fact very economical.
22:35He took 19 out of a possible 20 points when he used his dirty money,
22:41at a cost of just £22.11 per point.
22:45Ian bought three points at a more pricey £66.66 per point,
22:50while Lolly and Mark forked out a huge premium of £400 per point.
22:55Even that seems cheap if you ask me.
22:57But Al's weren't the cheapest points ever bought.
23:00That dubious honour falls to Sam Campbell.
23:07What the? Really?
23:09Yeah.
23:10Convince a child you're asleep.
23:11You must either have a nap lasting one minute with your face visible throughout.
23:16During this nap you must snar and sleepwalk.
23:21Or you must have a nap lasting one minute where you are not in bed at all,
23:27but the child thinks you are.
23:30During this nap you must snore and sleep talk.
23:33Most convincing sleeper wins.
23:36You have a maximum of 20 minutes. Your time starts now.
23:40Who is this child?
23:42I'm not going to be in the bed.
23:43I'm going to be talking to this child and sleep talking snoring.
23:48Do you think that's the best way?
23:49For me? Yeah.
23:51I'm now going to show you somebody called Sam.
23:53Um...
23:54..
24:00..
24:22I think he's asleep.
24:25We're saying Sam is asleep?
24:26Mm-hmm.
24:27So you're saying that flamingo is asleep?
24:31Yeah.
24:31It looks like Radha has been defeated.
24:43By a toy flamingo.
24:46Well, Greg, I think it is worth reassessing the techniques used by one of the sleepers.
24:50Oh, OK.
24:51Have a watch of this.
24:52Hello, child.
25:03Listen here.
25:05All you have to do is say that this is the most convincing sleeper.
25:08Seriously.
25:09Say the yellow one.
25:11The yellow bed.
25:12I'm going to get the production company to contact your parents.
25:15I'll give you £100.
25:17I'm going to figure out how to get it to you.
25:19£100 if you say that I'm the most convincing sleeper.
25:22Thank you, child.
25:23So the question is, who is the most convincing sleeper?
25:34With Sam, actually giving you £100.
25:43I think £100.
25:44£100.
25:44I don't think Sam was awake.
25:57Or Susan.
25:59Bribing a ten-year-old child for points.
26:03It seems incredible that someone so lacking in morals became not only our champion, but
26:08in 2028, the Prime Minister of Australia.
26:11Yes.
26:12It was effective.
26:13He won the sleeping task, taking five points at an affordable £20 per point.
26:18That's how desperate comedians were to win.
26:21And that desperation sometimes led to genuine anger.
26:23More after the break.
26:35Welcome back to the year 2048.
26:38Things are not good outside our jars, are they, little Alex Horne?
26:42No, big Greg Davis.
26:44Have you got a metaphorical representation of the dearth of kindness in today's sad world?
26:48I certainly do.
26:53Still not.
26:55He's not dead, though.
26:56He's not dead.
26:57There's life in him, isn't there?
27:04Such moments of sudden aggression should have alerted us that society was veering off course.
27:09In retrospect, the competitive nature of Taskmaster did help usher some anger to the surface.
27:15Ed Gamble, in particular, often failed to keep a lid on things.
27:20Hi, Ed.
27:21Hello, Alex.
27:22Complete the seven tasks.
27:25When you touch a task in any way, you must complete it before looking inside another task.
27:32Fastest wins.
27:33Your time starts now.
27:36One.
27:38Two.
27:42You little bastard!
27:45I can imagine that's as simple as that's going to be.
27:48One down.
27:49Roll a bowling ball.
27:50You've not got many to aim for.
27:51Yeah, certainly less than I did initially.
28:00Is it worth aiming at a different place?
28:02I swear to God, Alex.
28:06Woo-hoo!
28:07Okay, one down.
28:08Six to go.
28:09Put 20 things all bigger than a tennis ball in the wheelbarrow.
28:19Get in, you prick!
28:20Two down.
28:21Complete the jigsaw.
28:22Do you like jigsaws?
28:23No!
28:24Absolutely hate them.
28:25Put this wheelbarrow in the caravan.
28:28Have you ever seen anyone have a stroke?
28:30That's a corner.
28:31That's not that corner, is it?
28:32I mean, what is wrong with me?
28:36I mean, what is wrong with me?
28:44Place one of your hands on your hips and keep it there until you've completed all the tasks.
28:53So, that's kind of in, isn't it?
28:57Hide all the jigsaw pieces around the garden.
28:58Jigsaw pieces around the garden.
28:59Jigsaw pieces around the garden.
29:03Fuck, sir.
29:04I mean, oh dear.
29:05What does it say, Jo?
29:06Complete the jigsaw.
29:07Build a tower of bricks on this red circle.
29:10Put this wheelbarrow in the caravan.
29:17I'd say that's it.
29:18Okay, I'll stop the clock.
29:20Oh!
29:25I've got to start the task again, haven't I?
29:27Yes.
29:29I so nearly did it!
29:35Have you nearly finished the jigsaw, Ed?
29:37If you ask me that one more time, I'm shoving this jigsaw up your dick.
29:42One, two.
29:43There you go.
29:44Place one of your hands on your hips and keep it there until you've completed all the tasks.
29:48Still one more, Ed.
29:49What?
29:53Oh!
29:58Stop the clock.
29:59Thank you, Ed.
30:00Just like yourself.
30:04I want to know if everybody did all the tasks.
30:05Well, there was one interesting incident in that one.
30:07Ed started his task again because something came out of the wheelbarrow.
30:10Something came out of Jo's wheelbarrow.
30:11She took the wellies out, but she didn't start again.
30:13Okay.
30:14And, strictly speaking, she probably should have.
30:15Okay.
30:16I didn't tell her to because of the scenario.
30:20Because you're, what, the scenario being you're frightened of her?
30:22Well, she'd threatened to have a stroke just before that.
30:24I thought she just took a couple of wellies out.
30:29Oh, no, come on.
30:30What?
30:31Pardon?
30:33That was the worst day of my fucking life.
30:36So far.
30:37So far.
30:38If I could have taken out a couple of wellies, I would have been fine.
30:40Fucking fly.
30:46I stuck to the rules, Alex.
30:49Yes, yes, yes.
30:50I stuck to the rules.
30:51As far as I could see it, only me and Rose stuck to the rules.
30:54I think we've got to think about the spirit here.
30:55Did everyone...
30:56No!
30:57It's not about the spirit!
30:59It's about that you know it's not about the spirit!
31:03Greg, I thought perhaps we could analyse some of our angrier contestants on Taskmaster
31:08using my special anger chart.
31:10Would you like to rank Ed's meltdown?
31:12Yes, well, I know Ed well and I can tell you that was genuine, genuine anger.
31:17So let's get up high.
31:18Interestingly, you know, Ed was so competitive I used to deliberately mark him harshly
31:23because he was so entertaining watching him react.
31:26There you go.
31:27There's another thing he can moan about on his podcast.
31:29Now, Aisling B.
31:31Would you like to stand in my... ring?
31:34Make the tallest tower of cans on this table.
31:40Highest tower wins.
31:42Also, whilst building your tower, you must shake Alex's hand and say you're from a different country.
31:47Once every ten seconds.
31:50Alex will blow his whistle every ten seconds.
31:53Your time ends when you fail to shake Alex's hand.
31:57And say you're from a different country before Alex blows his whistle.
32:01I'm going to blow the whistle so before it blows again,
32:03you've got to come and shake my hand and say you're from a different country.
32:05What?
32:20No!
32:21No, no, no, no, no, no!
32:24We kept going for so long!
32:36We kept going for so fucking long!
32:39Tins of beans, hello, I'm from Portugal.
32:42Hello, I'm from the Ukraine.
32:45It wasn't until we watched it back that we realised you missed the very first one.
32:51How many countries did I say? I was so proud of myself.
32:5461.
32:5561!
32:5761 countries!
32:59I don't think she's that angry, really.
33:01She's a bit of play acting, isn't it?
33:03She won't like that.
33:04She's having a bit of fun, that's all.
33:06Bit of play acting.
33:07Do you know the thing that struck me the most?
33:09How big your ears look.
33:11OK, and finally, James Acaster.
33:14This team task involved building an extension to the Taskmaster House.
33:18It is worth mentioning that Kerry Godleman and Jess Knappett
33:21used lots of items from the garage to help their extension.
33:24Oh, my God, the garage is open.
33:27Look at these massive spoons!
33:30I am actually happy with that.
33:32Let's have a cup of tea in it.
33:33Honey, I'm home!
33:35Yoo-hoo!
33:36WHISTLE BLOWS
33:37Can I ask the question?
33:41Yes, then.
33:42Was the garage open for us as well?
33:44You will see, I mean, it absolutely was, but you'll see...
33:47We could have gone in the garage.
33:48Yeah.
33:51I...
33:52Oh, my God.
33:54Can't we move the shed?
33:55We take all the stuff out, we knock the back out,
33:58then we lift it up and we put it down the front door.
34:00You said lift it up like that's going to be a very easy thing to do.
34:05Don't even want to know what he's thinking about.
34:07That's going to be hell.
34:09Rod, maybe give me your hand.
34:1230 minutes, Rod.
34:1330 minutes.
34:15I've got an idea.
34:18Are we going to need a lorry?
34:21But...
34:26Where do we go from getting a lorry?
34:28Reverse the lorry onto the front of the house.
34:30Uh-huh.
34:31That is a better extension than this.
34:32Well, fold a lorry, then!
34:34And we'll do this while you're folding a lorry.
34:36You do that, right.
34:37He's nearly...he's nearly 50.
34:39LAUGHTER
34:43Oh!
34:51I guess that was always going to happen.
34:56Get some furniture from inside the house.
34:58Where's the lorry?
35:00Couldn't get a lorry.
35:01I'll make it an extension here.
35:03Well, why are you doing it with us down there?
35:05Well, if we do two, we'll have a better shot at it.
35:07Absolutely ridiculous.
35:10Rod, what is that?
35:11Don't try meeting women, Phil!
35:14How's that tape thrown up?
35:16The one here?
35:17What?
35:19They're very charming, the Irish.
35:23Well, how's yours going?
35:24Doing all right when Phil was helping me.
35:27So, you've done two extensions, have you?
35:29That's not an extension.
35:30That's a poster.
35:35What do you think?
35:36You've written extension on the garage.
35:40Done.
35:41Well, thank you.
35:43I wanted to be on the girls' team really badly.
35:50In seven series, we have never had a group break-up during a team task.
35:56He didn't want to join us.
35:58He named me foreman and then fucked off.
36:02We've done tasks all day together by that point.
36:04That was the final one.
36:05Yep.
36:06And I don't know how you've been friends with him for so long.
36:13I didn't know, until we watched that, that at one point, he opened the garage, saw it and then did that.
36:20Like, that blows my mind more than anything else.
36:23I thought on the day, oh, it's bad enough that he's done that and put the cardboard on and gone, this is an extension.
36:29And then, it's kind of looked at us like, what the fuck you're going to do about that?
36:32And then gone back in the house.
36:34I didn't know he'd also gone, oh, the perfect stuff.
36:37And then done that shit.
36:43That's genuine rage.
36:45That's top of the chart.
36:47I mean, he was so wound up after the show, I had to put him into one of my special holds to calm him down.
36:51I remember.
36:52Right, break time.
36:54Should we have a shot of helium?
36:56Oh, yes, why not?
36:58See you after the break.
36:59I love you!
37:11Welcome to the final part of this Taskmaster Class from the future.
37:15Alex, can you show us a task that reflects the sort of heartache the world has been suffering for the last few years?
37:20Oh, I can, of course.
37:23Invent an imaginary companion.
37:26I do that every day.
37:28Then complete a domestic task with your imaginary companion.
37:32Your imaginary companion must either be much taller or much littler than you.
37:37Most poignant scene wins.
37:39Interesting criteria.
37:41You have 20 minutes, your time starts now.
37:42Look at us.
37:43Best friends.
37:45Kyle, Louie, about to do the washing up.
37:48I'm sorry about my family.
37:51They don't, um, understand what we have.
37:55But since I found you under a toadstool, I've felt like I finally make sense, you know?
38:01So tell me more about your plans for life.
38:04Really?
38:06I've always wanted to see New Zealand too.
38:09It's a long flight.
38:11But I'd look after you. You know I've always got your back.
38:13Forever.
38:15Best friends.
38:16Best friends.
38:20Oh.
38:21What's that?
38:22Sorry, I can't talk just now.
38:23Yeah, no.
38:24No, I'm waiting for Andy to come back.
38:26Yeah, he is a little bit late.
38:27Yeah.
38:31I'm just going to put these away, yeah?
38:33Don't you move.
38:36I feel like that soup needs a little more spice.
38:39Salvatore?
38:43Salvatore?
38:45Salvatore?
38:52And if we could...
38:54Louie?
38:56Louie?
38:58Where did...
38:59Louie?
39:04Oh, he's back.
39:07Where is he?
39:10Andy!
39:12Andy, no!
39:13Andy!
39:15No, Andy!
39:16Oh, Jesus Christ!
39:18Oh, no!
39:20Oh, my God.
39:21Sal.
39:22Babe.
39:24Oh, my God.
39:26Is my friend crying?
39:28We're never going to do that.
39:34Oh, my God.
39:35Oh, my God.
39:36Oh, my God.
39:37Oh, my God.
39:38Oh, my God.
39:39Oh, my God.
39:40Oh, my God.
39:41Oh, my God.
39:42Oh, my God.
39:45Andy!
39:48I don't want anybody else.
39:50Nobody rocks my body or my world.
39:55Like Sal.
40:00I love you, Sal.
40:02That was perfect.
40:04Well, this has been a depressing episode, Alex.
40:07Can we watch something that will make our hearts sing again?
40:09Or the one we always watch?
40:11You know it, sweet cheeks.
40:14Hello.
40:15Hello.
40:16Hello.
40:17Hello.
40:18You?
40:19Oh, yeah.
40:20Hello.
40:21Hello.
40:22Oh, right.
40:23Do you...
40:24Do we...
40:25Do we strike you?
40:29Write and perform a song about this woman.
40:31Yes.
40:32Best song wins.
40:33You have five minutes to talk to the woman.
40:35And then 30 minutes to write her a song.
40:37The time starts now, so we need to gather as much information as we can.
40:39Hi.
40:40So, what's your name?
40:41Rosalind.
40:42Where are you from originally?
40:43Southport.
40:44What do you do for a living?
40:45Yeah.
40:46Japanese translator.
40:47Do you have children?
40:48Yes, I've got two sons.
40:49Two.
40:50Yes.
40:51They're a bit inept at things, but that's fine.
40:52What do you do to pass the time?
40:53I'm an athletics official track judge, and I do long jump and the sprints.
40:58Long jumper.
40:59Long jumper.
41:00Who's your favourite band of all time?
41:02Music.
41:03Good idea.
41:04Which might lead us to some music.
41:05Good idea.
41:06Like Mozart.
41:07Mozart.
41:08Mozart.
41:09One of my favourite bands as well.
41:10Have you stolen much in your life?
41:11Yeah, well, when I was about ten, I used to do a little bit of sort of sweetie shoplifting
41:14with my best friend, Elaine.
41:16I also play the cello.
41:18Great.
41:19Do you play the cello with anyone?
41:20Yeah, string quartet, yeah.
41:21My husband and a couple of friends.
41:23And what's the name of your...
41:25My husband is called Alan.
41:26And did you ever do it in public, or was it just...
41:28Yeah, it's not normally when people are sitting in rows watching.
41:31Yes.
41:32It's just the sound.
41:33Do you eat meat, Roseanne?
41:34As long as it's kosher.
41:35What's your favourite meat?
41:36Chicken, I suppose.
41:37Chickens.
41:38What's your favourite film?
41:39Oh, Hangover.
41:40Hangover, one or two.
41:41Oh, favourite food?
41:42Oh, Beans on Toast.
41:43Yeah, quite right.
41:44Are the other two in the string quartet, are they a couple as well?
41:47They used to be, and then one got septicemia, so he lost the use of three fingers in his
41:51left hand.
41:52Would you like to be able to fly?
41:53No.
41:54Hello, Great Britain.
41:55Hello.
41:56How are you all feeling out there?
41:57We're all fine, thank you.
41:58And now's the time that you've all been waiting for.
41:59The band!
42:00Good evening, London!
42:15We are the Diverse Stripes.
42:18I am Jack Brown, and this is my wife, sister, Mark.
42:23This is called, I'm Always Seeing You, open brackets, do cool stuff, close brackets.
42:28Close brackets.
42:29Alright.
42:30And, one, two, three, four.
42:35Oh, yeah.
42:37I saw you translate a poem from Japanese.
42:39It looks so tricky, but you did it with these.
42:42I saw you judging long jump at the athletics.
42:44I fell so low, cause it's born, I'm just pathetic.
42:47I'm always seeing you do cool stuff.
42:49I try my best, but it's never.
42:52Good enough.
42:53Good enough.
42:58I saw you watch the Hangover DVD, but I was busy with the Hangover Part 3.
43:03I saw you listening to the Mozart Symphony, but my attention span is, hey, look at that tree.
43:08Two, three, four.
43:09I'm always seeing you do cool stuff.
43:11I try my best, but it's never.
43:12Good enough.
43:13I'm always seeing you do cool stuff.
43:14I try my best, but it's never.
43:15Good enough.
43:16I'm always seeing you do cool stuff.
43:17I try my best, but it's never.
43:18Good enough.
43:19One more time.
43:20One more time.
43:21One more time.
43:22I'm always seeing you do cool stuff.
43:23I try my best, but it's never.
43:27Good enough.
43:28Good enough.
43:29Good enough.
43:30I'm always seeing you do cool stuff.
43:31I try my best, but it's never.
43:32Good enough.
43:33Good enough.
43:34One more time.
43:35I'm always seeing you do cool stuff.
43:36I try my best, but it's never.
43:38Good enough.
43:39Good enough.
43:40One more time.
43:41One more time.
43:42One more time.
43:43One more time.
43:44One more time.
43:45One more time.
43:46I'm always seeing you do cool stuff.
43:48I try my best, but it's never.
43:51Good enough.
43:54One more time.
43:55One more time.
43:56One more time.
43:57One more time.
43:58One more time.
43:59One more time.
44:00One more time.
44:01I've got a representation of the doomsday clock here.
44:20In 2017, it was two and a half minutes to midnight,
44:23but the moment that song was broadcast,
44:26the clock actually ticked backwards a full minute.
44:29Nish and Mark's sincere sentiment gave us all hope
44:32for the future of humanity.
44:33Sadly, it was a false dawn.
44:35Moments later, we all got on a roller coaster
44:38to the end of the world.
44:40We are a product of conception,
44:44and we're delighted to bring you here today our debut track,
44:47which is called...
44:48Quite Good Considering.
44:50Quite Good Considering.
44:51Let's have the music.
44:52Rosalind.
44:53Rosalind.
44:54Rosalind.
44:55Rosalind's a nightmare.
44:58Rosalind is from Southport.
44:59Rosalind's so sweet.
45:01Rosalind was a news agent.
45:02But you won't eat meat.
45:03Unless it's chicken.
45:04Rosalind has two sons.
45:05A good men but inept.
45:06Rosalind has two sons.
45:07A good men but inept.
45:08Rosalind is a thief.
45:09But it keeps her out of debt.
45:11Rosalind is an average jealous.
45:12She plays quite well.
45:13But not in front of people.
45:14Rosalind is an average jealous.
45:15She plays quite well.
45:16But not in front of people.
45:17Rosalind married Alan from her string portent.
45:19Fiddling with her friends.
45:20You know that is how they met.
45:21You know that is how they met.
45:22The great thing was.
45:23But not in front of people.
45:24Rosalind married Alan from her string portent.
45:28Well he contracted.
45:29She is an average jealous.
45:30And a woman of a child.
45:31For a woman of her age.
45:35Rosalind is an average jealous.
45:38She plays quite well.
45:39But not in front of people.
45:43Rosalind married Alan from her string portent.
45:44Fiddling with her friends.
45:47You know that is how they met.
45:49The great thing about Alan.
45:52Alan could not be trained here.
45:54But the viola player.
45:55Oh, the player, sadly, well, he contracted septicemia.
46:01Rosalind's a fucking nightmare.
46:04She's just my thought for a woman of her age.
46:11Rosalind's an average child, she plays quite well.
46:16But not in front of people, not in front of people.
46:21And as a result of that song, the Doomsday Clock immediately added the minute back.
46:33Plus an extra second.
46:35In reality, I suppose there was no turning back from there.
46:38Well, Alex, we've reached the end.
46:40I'm afraid it's time for me to turn off your light.
46:43No, please don't.
46:45I've got loads more ideas for tasks in my little notebook.
46:48Sleep tight, sweet child of mine.
46:51Well, the next seven days, they'd better behave themselves
46:58because the last leg will be marking its homework
47:00when it returns next Friday at 10.
47:03A golden-glove generation that gave British boxing its finest hours.
47:07Four Kings continues Sunday at 5 past 10, or you can stream it right now.
47:13APPLAUSE
47:14A golden-glove generation that gave British boxing its finest hours.
47:15A golden-glove generation that gave British boxing its finest hours.
47:16A golden-glove generation that gave British boxing its finest hours.
47:17A golden-glove generation that gave British boxing its finest hours.
47:18A golden-glove generation that gave British boxing its finest hours.
47:19A golden-glove generation that gave British boxing its finest hours.
47:20A golden-glove generation that gave British boxing its finest hours.
47:21A golden-glove generation that gave British boxing its finest hours.
47:22A golden-glove generation that gave British boxing its finest hours.
47:23A golden-glove generation that gave British boxing its finest hours.
47:24A golden-glove generation that gave British boxing its finest hours.
47:25A golden-glove generation that gave British boxing its finest hours.
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