- 8 hours ago
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00:00Why do we have a connection?
00:14Only business calls.
00:15It goes direct.
00:16Only half the plane is direct.
00:17It's an economy for...
00:18Orange juice.
00:19We don't have that.
00:20We have white milk or water.
00:23I'm so excited.
00:24Did you see who's back there?
00:26Oh, I saw who it was.
00:27Yes, the double M.
00:28The mm-mm.
00:29Ass in our future, I see.
00:31Huh, Yoda.
00:32It doesn't matter where I go.
00:33I just sleep.
00:33I get on the plane.
00:34I don't care if I'm sitting in business class.
00:36I don't eat on planes.
00:38Eating on a plane is for disgusting people.
00:40Period.
00:40Okay?
00:41Who wants some more milk?
00:43That's good.
00:44I bring my own snack.
00:46I've sacrificed to go to this event.
00:48I have two little pet birds at home,
00:49and I had to go get a bird sitter.
00:51I got, like, an anxiety attack,
00:52because can you really trust someone
00:53to take care of your birds?
00:54Wendy and Becky.
00:56Becky, because she's pecks,
00:57so pecker, Becky match.
00:59She's not.
00:59He is zandy vibes.
01:02Yeah.
01:02Dude, we have to pitch the spinoff show.
01:04Back off?
01:05Back off, yes.
01:06We give it that little HBO dirty, dirty grit shit.
01:09Well, yeah, maybe he'd be having sex
01:10probably every episode.
01:11Yes.
01:12Do you have salt and pepper?
01:12Dijon or, like, yellow mustard?
01:14Yeah, do you have Dijon or yellow mustard?
01:16I have both.
01:16Okay.
01:17This is perfect.
01:19We're not actually allowed any forks on the flight.
01:22I don't have one.
01:23I don't have one.
01:24I don't have any forks.
01:25That's fine.
01:26That would be illegal.
01:27I just Googled what a fork looks like,
01:30and that, I swear, that's what...
01:31What are you Googling?
01:33Can I just get a plastic...
01:34Aster stick?
01:35Plastic knife.
01:36Here's my dream.
01:37What?
01:38Starts out Maddie having sex.
01:40Yeah.
01:40Then regular whatever happens happens.
01:42That's the episode.
01:44Finish.
01:45He's doing it again.
01:46Maybe a dragon or something like that, too.
01:48Can I get a knife?
01:49We're working away at it.
01:53That's comfy, eh?
01:54Is that good for you with your...
01:55I can hold this for hours.
01:57I can hold this for hours.
02:00There's nothing better than slicing up hard-boiled eggs
02:04in a public space with zero air.
02:07I love eggs.
02:08I follow a lot of really good Instagram health people.
02:11Me, too.
02:11They tell me that eggs are very good for you.
02:13And they tell me who to vote for.
02:15On the carpet.
02:15Oh.
02:16You just scrape this in.
02:17I'm just going to eat the ground.
02:19See, we're releasing all of the flavor,
02:21developing a beautiful smell throughout the whole cabin.
02:25And then we have mayonnaise.
02:27We're going to add a little mustard,
02:28a little bit of vinegar, salt and pepper.
02:31You know a chicken lays an egg every day?
02:33I do.
02:33Imagine if you had a baby every day.
02:35I actually...
02:36But I can't actually imagine that.
02:38Do you want kids?
02:39No.
02:39That's what I learned when I did ayahuasca.
02:41When I did ayahuasca,
02:43I had a threesome with her and our captain.
02:47We're not supposed to tell anyone about that.
02:49Well, no, we were just being honest.
02:50I thought that's what ayahuasca stories were about.
02:52Ah, I was in the middle.
02:54That's so nice.
02:56Yeah.
02:57Yeah.
02:58Yeah.
02:59Yeah.
02:59Don't worry.
03:08This is like reverse.
03:10This is kind of reverse, huh?
03:12Reverse.
03:13No, no, no.
03:14It's kind of sexy.
03:15It's kind of reverse.
03:16This is kind of sexy, huh?
03:17Entering some turbulence.
03:21From the sexiness.
03:25Oh, yeah.
03:26Chef, do you want to, like, have a garnish on there?
03:29Yeah.
03:30I think the best thing with eggs is other eggs.
03:32Absolutely.
03:33I snuck this on.
03:34Can you read it?
03:36That's the floor.
03:36Shh.
03:37There we go.
03:39Oh.
03:40We literally just made deviled eggs on a plane.
03:43See?
03:43Snacks on a plane.
03:44Snacks on a plane.
03:45And that's as easy as it is.
03:47Are we eating Costco?
03:48Like, in the free sample?
03:50Here, this one's pretty.
03:51Oh, thank you.
03:52That one's for you.
03:53To us.
03:54To us.
03:54To us.
03:55To us.
03:56To us.
03:56To us.
03:56To us.
03:57To us.
03:57To us.
03:58And us.
04:03Whoa.
04:07Big dog.
04:13Hey.
04:13Hey.
04:14Just want to say.
04:15What's up?
04:15Huge fan.
04:17What?
04:17Huge fan.
04:18Buddy, we are on ass trip right now.
04:19We're on ass trip.
04:20And we would, we're just, you know, we're excited to see you.
04:23You're literally our favorite guy, maybe, in the whole entire planet.
04:26Thank you so much.
04:27So, dude, when my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I watched your deep-fry chicken video.
04:32And I was just like, holy shit, man.
04:34There's more.
04:35This is a cool way to deep-fry chicken.
04:37Thank you so much.
04:38She's going through a really bad divorce, and she's creeping the kids.
04:42She's taking them with her.
04:43So, I know maybe right now it's a lot of pressure to put on you.
04:46You are in charge of my happiness right now, Mr. Matheson.
04:51Yes.
04:51You are.
04:52You got it.
04:52Thank you guys so much.
04:53It's bullshit.
04:53Like, I do appreciate it.
04:54Yeah.
04:54It's amazing.
04:55I've seen you take apart an entire chicken.
04:59I'm wondering about how I could put that together again.
05:01Make it whole again.
05:02Maybe we can just sit down and relax and, like, have a nice flight.
05:07Basically sitting right now.
05:08I'm sitting right now.
05:09I'm not relaxed.
05:10Talking over people on planes is a lot.
05:12So, just, like, it's really nice to meet you guys.
05:14And I thank you so much for sharing.
05:16You, in your videos, you're, like, a lot, you seem a lot happier.
05:20No, it's not that.
05:21It's crazy that you sold out.
05:22Weird.
05:22Yep.
05:23Weird.
05:23All right, fine.
05:24Cranky Matty.
05:25Yep.
05:25You remind me a lot of my ex-wife who just left recently, just so you know.
05:29Her name is Matty.
05:30D-D-Y.
05:31So, well, her name is Kathy, but I call her Matty because I loved you.
05:35Another broken heart, but...
05:37Let's trip.
05:37Ricky.
05:38Yeah.
05:38That's what I was saying.
05:39You didn't say shit.
05:40We're on a plane.
05:41You want me to tackle the guys?
05:42Hey, Captain Fucking Milk.
05:44How far?
05:45How much longer?
05:46It's actually Boudé.
05:46Boudé.
05:47Boudé Fassé.
05:48What?
05:49Boudé Fassé.
05:52Sir, look at me when I pronounce my own name.
05:55Boudé Fassé is what you say.
06:00There's nothing better in the absolute world than bacon rat scallops.
06:05It's like a vulva of flavor.
06:09Vulva.
06:12What do you mean?
06:14How'd you get that on the tank?
06:19Put it there.
06:23Okay.
06:24You can just, like, plug it in right here.
06:26Oh, my God.
06:27What?
06:29Yeah, this one's perfect.
06:30Take that butter.
06:31Take this butter.
06:31Okay.
06:32I'm going to take your butter.
06:32We're just going to wrap our scallops, and we're just going to put these all into the pan.
06:42And I just want to make sure everyone is getting a nice little treat.
06:48What's E7 mean?
06:50What's E7?
06:51I don't know what it is.
06:53This isn't too thick.
06:54It's going to flap around.
06:55Okay.
06:55Okay.
06:55Okay.
06:55I'm trying to do a lot of things at the same time.
06:57I know, Michelle, but you need to focus.
06:58We need to focus the same.
06:59Focus, I'm focused.
07:00You're not even wrapping them.
07:02Look at this.
07:03This is beautiful.
07:03What the fuck is this?
07:04Are you kidding me right now?
07:05Do you have any lemon?
07:06I saw lemons on your drink cart.
07:08Yeah.
07:09I saw them.
07:09Why do I keep getting errors?
07:11Well, it's probably because of the altitude.
07:13Electricity works or it doesn't.
07:15Why do you keep leaving this open?
07:17Because I'm trying to focus on, like, literally 12 things.
07:20There's not 12 things.
07:21We're sitting in chairs trying to make scallop potatoes.
07:23I am unable.
07:24Do we happen to have any maple syrup?
07:27We got so much upstairs.
07:28There's no upstairs, Jacqueline.
07:29Yeah, we're on a plane.
07:30We're on a plane.
07:31You know what would be amazing?
07:33If you guys had, like, hot water.
07:36That would be.
07:37We're going to have a nice...
07:38Ow, fuck.
07:40Splattering.
07:40Perfect.
07:41Okay.
07:41Everyone is going to get one.
07:43Actually, I don't even know.
07:43I don't want to get sick.
07:44Those are just sitting in Michelle's bag.
07:48What happened?
07:48It keeps going to fucking error.
07:51Why don't people bring induction burners on flights all the time?
07:54I think this is the nicest way to kind of go.
07:56It's not illegal.
07:57No, you can just do it.
07:58I think I'm going to revolutionize plane food, you know?
08:02Inflate dining.
08:04Inflate cooking.
08:05Inflate cooking needs to be brought to a new level.
08:07It's not illegal.
08:08I'll tell you one thing.
08:08I keep turning this on and off.
08:10Maybe you put it on E7?
08:12No, E7.
08:13I'm sorry.
08:14Okay.
08:14So now we're going to add our citrus,
08:16and then we're going to add our sugar,
08:18and we're going to create a gastric.
08:21We are done.
08:21It's hot gastric.
08:25There we go.
08:26It kind of looks like E.T.
08:27I love that meme.
08:28If me and my friends found E.T.,
08:29we'd kill him with a hammer.
08:30Know that one?
08:31I've always wanted to eat E.T.
08:35They've got to get out of here.
08:36Okay.
08:37White glove service.
08:38I love this.
08:39They all kind of just look like bowls.
08:42Mm-hmm.
08:43Mm-hmm.
08:44How are you going to do that?
08:45Oh, here.
08:45Give me a cup.
08:46Oh, yeah, sure.
08:46Maybe someone wants to drink it.
08:48I'll take the toothpicks out.
08:49Sir, have you ever eaten food before?
08:50No.
08:52Ow.
08:52Oh.
08:53Ah.
08:54Can I add a couple more in that?
08:56Yeah.
08:56It's a couple more.
08:56I know.
08:57Do you guys happen to have any milk back there?
09:01I thought you'd never ask.
09:03Let's make a scallop latte.
09:05Scalatte.
09:06Scalatte.
09:06This is good.
09:10Oh.
09:12Mmm.
09:13Scallop maple latte.
09:15Does anybody want a sip?
09:17It's actually good.
09:18It's very good.
09:18Whatever you say.
09:19Ma'am, I was told that you did bring a lot of baggage.
09:24Um, just physical baggage and emotional baggage, so.
09:28It's fine.
09:29It's all packed away.
09:29I'll be a girl if you need to, like, talk about curly, curly things.
09:35Um, like, cup sizes.
09:37Oh, my God.
09:38Let's switch.
09:38No, I'm not a real girl.
09:41Don't say that, okay?
09:42Don't say that.
09:43You are a real girl.
09:45Listen, I know it's steaming hot in here, and I know that it fucking smells a bit as well.
09:51I don't, okay, I don't want this.
09:53I'm here for you.
09:55I'm here for you.
09:57You're welcome.
10:01I hate it here.
10:07Careful.
10:08It's delicate.
10:10And if this thing goes down, oh, it'll be a, I'd love it.
10:16How much longer are we here for?
10:18We're not allowed to land.
10:21We're not allowed to land.
10:22What are you talking about?
10:23Why are we allowed to, why?
10:24It's an air traffic control thing.
10:27We wouldn't get it.
10:28For real?
10:29Why?
10:29We are stuck up here, together.
10:33Is there a, like, can the captain say something?
10:39You're all, you're all, you're going to, it's going to be a lot longer for some of you to get off the plates.
10:44Just be, have patience and, and enjoy the world around you.
10:48They can see you.
10:49They can see, they can see.
10:50I don't think I've ever been this sad.
10:52I do.
10:54I've seen it.
10:55I've seen it.
10:55Transcription by CastingWords
11:25Transcription by CastingWords
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