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Bluemoon Drama
  • 8 hours ago
Transcript
00:00What happened to Claudine when she told me that she didn't have a problem?
00:04I told her that she didn't have a problem.
00:07I knew that I was going to be the only one who wanted me to be the only one who wanted me to be the only one who wanted me to be the only one.
00:14I cried, why? Why are you doing this to me? I don't deserve this.
00:20Because it's true that I had to be a lot of times when I had to grieve.
00:24I had to grieve for those who didn't have me.
00:27Starting from Rico.
00:30Klao, wala na.
00:32Hindi na pwede.
00:34Ilang beses na ni-revive.
00:35Tryin nyo lang ulit.
00:37Sunog na.
00:38Hindi na pwede.
00:39Wala na.
00:42Kumusta na ngayon, ang pamilya divided pa rin?
00:45Divided pa rin.
00:48And alam ko na baka pumikit yung mata niya na hindi kami magiging okay.
00:52And that would be the end of our family.
00:56Wish ng lahat na sana magkaayos kayo ni Limbo.
00:59Nakita mo yung ebidensya.
01:02And ngayon pa lang, sayo ko sasabihin na in a few weeks, magpa-file ulit ako ng Wowsy.
01:11Kasama po natin ngayon ng Optimum Star.
01:13Malang iba kundi si Miss Claudine Barret.
01:16Thank you so much, Oji.
01:18At sa lahat ng nalunood, isa na ako sa fan.
01:22Alam mo yun?
01:23Oo nga, Diyos ko, nakakaloka.
01:25Marites ka rin e, no?
01:26Marites.
01:26Eh, so talaga.
01:28Oo.
01:28Hindi pero talaga, favorite ko talaga yung mga channels at bugs mo.
01:31O yan.
01:32So, kumusta na si Claudine?
01:34Ngayon, okay na okay.
01:36Very happy.
01:37At peace.
01:38Malaming pinagdadaanan pa rin.
01:40Pero parang mas naano ko na yung maging positive.
01:43Parang yung problema sa akin ngayon,
01:45iniba ko yung mindset ko eh.
01:46Lagi ako nagdadasal ngayon.
01:47Kasi first part ng year na to, galit na galit ako kay God.
01:50Bakit?
01:51Sa lahat ng mga pinagdadaanan ko,
01:52basta ang dami kong pinagdadaanan talaga.
01:54Lalo na yung past two years,
01:56biglang parang nag-change yung mindset ko in a snap.
01:59Na parang thankful ako even with the trials na dumadaan.
02:03Kailan na wala yung galit mo kay God?
02:05There was a time na talagang sobrang nila ako yung sarili ko sa van.
02:08Tapos talagang sigaw ako ng sigaw,
02:10Why? Why are you doing this to me?
02:12Bakit? Wala naman akong minakaw, inagawan, siniraan.
02:16Bakit ang dami kong pinagdadaanan?
02:18I don't deserve this.
02:19You know, lahat ng sinabi mo, ginagawa ko.
02:21I'm a tighter.
02:23In church, I give 10% of everything that I have.
02:25Ganyan.
02:26And you promised na,
02:27you will open the floodgates of heaven
02:29and pour out all your blessings.
02:30What happened?
02:31Parang ganun.
02:32May ganun ako.
02:33Till yung night of 100 stars,
02:35Kim Mr. M.
02:36Kim Mr. M.
02:37Nakatabi ko si Kuya Anthony Pangilinan.
02:39And we lost touch.
02:40And sinabi ko,
02:41Kuya, I need to talk to you and Ate Maricel.
02:44Kasabi ko,
02:44kasi alam mo,
02:46parang ang laki ng galit ko
02:47at ang pok sa Diyos.
02:48Sabi ko, what's happening?
02:49Kasi Kuya Anthony,
02:50kumakain lang,
02:51tapos sabi niya sa akin,
02:52that's good.
02:53Buong mo din, that's good.
02:54That's good that you're angry with God.
02:55Sabi ko, what?
02:56Sabi niya,
02:57if you're angry with God,
02:58that means you still believe in Him.
02:59Matakot ka pag dumating yung araw
03:01na hindi ka nagalit sa Diyos
03:02dahil hindi ka naliniwala sa Diyos.
03:04Yun yung nagkaroon ng snap
03:06na parang after Japan namin.
03:08Sa Japan, may iiyak pa ako
03:09at pinatanong ko,
03:10Lord, ba't ganto, gano, gano, gano.
03:11Pag balik ko,
03:12all of a sudden,
03:13nag-start ako mag-pray na,
03:14Lord, take away lahat ng bondages
03:16of sin, of curses,
03:18or whatever man na galit
03:19na meron ng tao sa akin,
03:21or may nasabi against me
03:22and my family,
03:23tanggalin mo yun,
03:24break goes change.
03:25Yun, nagkaroon ako bigla ng peace
03:27na bigla ako nang hina
03:28na sobra-sobra.
03:29And then, yun.
03:30After that, everyday,
03:31Lord, so on me,
03:32nanasabi ko yung mga yun.
03:34Kailan mo siya naramdaman
03:35na mayroon palang Diyos
03:36at mahal ka pala ng Diyos?
03:38Siyempre, yung first time
03:39na naging Christian ako,
03:41doon na feel ko.
03:41Especially yun nga,
03:42after yung death muree ko,
03:44si Tita Connie Reyes,
03:45dinadala ko sa victory,
03:47ganyan.
03:48And then, doon naging strong talaga
03:49yung pagiging Christian ko.
03:51And then, I think,
03:52mula nung time na nahiwalay ako,
03:54yun na yung start na parang medyo,
03:56bakit, bakit, bakit, bakit?
03:57Tapos parang hindi na ako nag-church,
03:59hindi na ako nag-Bible study,
04:01nagpa-pray ako bago matulog,
04:03pero may tampo.
04:05Ang pampatulog ko is yung
04:06Joel Austin,
04:07yung mga sermon niya.
04:08Kasi 20 minutes lang naman,
04:10so dere-dere-derecho yun.
04:11So, siguro, habang natutulog,
04:13pumapasok rin sa utak ko talaga
04:14yung mga sinasabi niya.
04:16Na parang, you know,
04:17you change your mindset,
04:18angels are coming,
04:19in the form of other people.
04:21Yun, yun yung nangyari.
04:22I'm still so blessed pala,
04:24in so many ways.
04:25Na parang,
04:25wala-pula akong karapatan talaga
04:27magreklamo.
04:28Minsan kasi,
04:29kaya nangyayari sa atin to.
04:31Claude, sabi nila,
04:32eh, naging part din tayo
04:33kung bakit gano'n
04:34ang nangyayari sa buhay natin.
04:36Feeling mo ba, somehow,
04:37meron kang kasalanan ko rin kasi,
04:39dahil?
04:40Yes, may mga gano'n ako.
04:41Pero kasi parang iniisip po
04:43ng mabuti,
04:44na bakit ako kakarman?
04:46Kasi wala naman akong niloko,
04:48o not that I know of,
04:50na talagang nasakta na tao,
04:52o ginulo yung buhay.
04:54So parang,
04:54I found it medyo unfair,
04:56na kung karma to,
04:57bakit yung iba,
04:58na grabe yung mga ginagawa,
04:59hindi naman pinagdadaanan,
05:01yung pinagdadaanan.
05:02So kinukumpara mo yung
05:03nangyayari sa iyo
05:04sa nangyayari sa ibang tao.
05:06Bakit sa akin ang bigat-bigat?
05:07Sa iba, ang gaan lang?
05:08Oo, parang ang gaan lang.
05:10Pero iniisip po,
05:11kung karma to,
05:12bakit sobra naman?
05:13Yung gano'n,
05:13hindi ko sinasabi na
05:15napakabuti ko compared to
05:16other people,
05:17pero napakalaking punishment
05:19ang feeling ko naman.
05:20So ano yung feeling mo na
05:21grabing karma naman ito sa akin?
05:23Yung parang feeling mo,
05:24hindi mo matanggap,
05:25but itong situation na to
05:26nangyayari sa akin?
05:27Of course,
05:28yung paghihiwalay,
05:29pagiging single mom,
05:31kasi hindi lang single mom,
05:32but being also a single dad.
05:34At the same time na
05:35yung paninira sa pagkatao ko,
05:37parang hindi fair
05:38kasi alam ko mabuti akong tao.
05:40Hindi ako perfect,
05:41pero alam ko mabuti akong kaibigan,
05:43anak, kapatid,
05:44mabuti akong nanay.
05:45Yun yung mga
05:46maiyayabang ko naman.
05:47Pero iniisip mo na lang ba na
05:49baka kaya sa akin
05:50binibigay ito ni Lord?
05:51Kaya alam niya,
05:52kaya ko.
05:53Yes.
05:54At alam ko na
05:55may purpose ko,
05:56especially na malahan dad ko,
05:57na parang
05:58he's the king of all kings,
05:59lord of all lords.
06:01He's our father.
06:02He's my father.
06:03Na siguro tinatest lang talaga ako.
06:06Kasi merong something beautiful
06:08na mangyayari.
06:10Yung, of course,
06:10also yung nagka-depression ako.
06:12Oo.
06:12Yes.
06:13And ako yung isa sa pinaka,
06:15you know,
06:15I was even bashed for that
06:17kasi nung buhay pa si
06:18Tito Ricky Lo.
06:19Ako una nagsabi na,
06:20you know,
06:21I'm seen a psychiatrist.
06:22You know,
06:23I go to therapy.
06:24Kasi kailangan talaga yun,
06:26lalo na in showbiz.
06:27Ang depression,
06:28it's an illness.
06:29It's a disease.
06:30Para siyang,
06:31pag may heart problem ka,
06:32kailangan mo ng gamot.
06:33Kailangan mo ng maintenance.
06:34Ganun rin,
06:35ang depression.
06:36Kasi ang nangyari kasi
06:37odd siya akin,
06:38I was diagnosed with
06:39anxiety and panic disorder.
06:41So,
06:42ang sakit pag narinig ko yung bipolar,
06:44wala nang problema sa ganun.
06:46Pero yung,
06:46para sabihin,
06:47bipolar ako
06:48or unstable ako,
06:50sa mga pinagdaanan ko,
06:52dapat talagang baliw na ako.
06:54Diba?
06:54Baliw na,
06:55baliw na ako.
06:56Yan lang ako ulang.
06:57Yeah, diba?
06:57Yan ang iniintay mong salita
06:59mula sa ibang tao.
07:00Oo.
07:01Sabihan nyo kung,
07:02oo.
07:02Sabihan nyo akong baliw.
07:04Yes.
07:05Napakakapagod yung
07:05I always have to
07:06have evidence
07:07to back it up
07:08kung bakit ako ganito.
07:09Diba to the point na,
07:10diba,
07:10pinakita ko sa'yo na
07:12odds ito yung pinagdaanan ko.
07:13Na kung sa'yo nangyari yun,
07:15kaya mo ba yun?
07:17Iba-iba kasi
07:17yung threshold
07:18ng pain ng tao, diba?
07:19Ikaw kaya mo kasi.
07:20Kaya ko.
07:21Iba yung kaya mo
07:22sa kinakaya mo.
07:23Kinakaya.
07:24So, yung depression ni Claudine,
07:26bakit ka binash?
07:27Noong time na yun,
07:28mayroon pa rin stigma
07:29about depression
07:30and seeing a psychiatrist.
07:32Kasi,
07:32I think,
07:33kami pa yata
07:33ng asawa ko noon
07:35nung sinabi ko
07:36kay Tito Rikilo yun
07:37at inilabas niya.
07:38So, parang that time,
07:39hindi pa grabing suicide rates
07:41dito sa Pilipinas
07:43or sa kung saan.
07:44Mas Korea,
07:45yung mga ganyan.
07:45So, hindi patanggap talaga
07:46ng tao
07:47nung time na yun.
07:48So, isa yun
07:49sa mga
07:49ibinabato sa akin.
07:51I always say,
07:52hindi ko dini-deny
07:53kasi actually,
07:53ang nangyari kasi,
07:54diba,
07:54may fight-flight tayo
07:56na sinasabi
07:57or merong bago.
07:59It's called freeze.
08:00Freeze.
08:00Yun ang nangyari sa akin.
08:02Sa sobrang trauma,
08:03kailangan ko ma-rehab.
08:05Na-rehab ka?
08:06In Thailand.
08:06For how long?
08:07Yung una pala
08:08was two weeks.
08:09Sa Thailand din?
08:10Oo, Thailand rin.
08:11Ito, sa Koh Changto.
08:12And, yung itong second
08:14was yung October
08:15ng 2019.
08:16And, it wasn't
08:17because of drugs.
08:18It's because of
08:19post-traumatic stress disorder.
08:20Na inayos
08:21ng psychiatrist ko
08:22na dito ka
08:23pumunta.
08:24It's a beautiful place.
08:25Every day,
08:26may massage ka.
08:27May facial ka
08:27once a week.
08:29May workout ka
08:29every day.
08:30You live in a villa
08:31na merong pool.
08:32So, yung second
08:33kong pagpunta,
08:35for some reason,
08:36hindi ko alam kung bakit
08:37kating-kate akong umuwi.
08:38Hindi ko gusto.
08:39I wanted to go home.
08:40Pala,
08:41kung hindi ako umuwi nun,
08:42hindi ko maaabutan
08:43ng daddy ko.
08:44Grabe yung instinct ko
08:46na may mangyayara
08:47sa daddy ko.
08:48So,
08:48kinailangan kong umuwi.
08:49He wasn't in the hospital
08:51pero wala ako
08:52sa sarili ko.
08:53Pag kinakausap ako,
08:54parang tulala ako.
08:55Hindi ko rin
08:55maintindihan kung ano.
08:57So,
08:57sabi ko sa psychiatrist ko,
08:58ano to?
08:59What's happening?
09:00Ganyan-ganyan.
09:00Tapos sabi ko,
09:01parang this has nothing
09:02to do with any mental problems
09:04or any mental illness eh.
09:06It has something to do
09:06with my gut and instinct.
09:08And true enough,
09:09pagbabang pagbaba ko
09:10ng aeroplano,
09:11that was the birthday
09:11of my daddy.
09:12September 28 ako umuwi.
09:14And dapat uwi ko,
09:15dito was October 11.
09:16From the airport,
09:17dumiretso ko sa dad ko
09:18para isalugbog yung birthday niya.
09:20Nandun na yung mga bata.
09:21Kasi the next day,
09:22kay Marjorie na mami.
09:24So,
09:24ang hirap naba.
09:24Iwala yun na party dito,
09:26iwala yun dun.
09:26So,
09:27with my kids,
09:27nag-celebrate kami.
09:28Tapos the next day,
09:29tumawag ako,
09:30nandun siya sa
09:30kay Marjorie.
09:31Sabi niya lang sa akin na,
09:33parang,
09:33I'll see you later.
09:34Sabi ko,
09:34parang,
09:34I'll see you later.
09:35Parang,
09:36ano?
09:36Pala yung,
09:36I'll see you later,
09:37magkikita kami sa ER.
09:39For 16 days,
09:40bago siya namatayin,
09:48nakikita ko yung dad ko.
09:50Nakikita ko yung lahat ng
09:51machines na gumagana.
09:52So,
09:53nung dilipat natin sa kwarto,
09:54yun yung time na
09:55nag-pass away yung dad ko.
09:57So,
09:57nabanggit mo yun,
09:58Claudine,
09:59syempre,
09:59tatanong nila,
10:00maayos ba ang pamilya?
10:01Kasi parang,
10:02nagkaroon ng away doon
10:03sa wake.
10:04Hindi,
10:04mas.
10:05That time, no?
10:06Ii,
10:06divided na lang.
10:07And I'm sure,
10:08yun ang pinanginayangan
10:09ng daddy mo.
10:10Naipikit niya yung mga mata niya,
10:12hindi naayos
10:12sa mga anak.
10:13Oo,
10:13yan.
10:14So,
10:18lalo na yun
10:19kasi si mommy kaka.
10:21My mom's 88
10:22and naaksidente siya.
10:23Diba?
10:23Sa market-market,
10:25nahulog siya sa escalator.
10:27And grabe yung
10:28nakatanggap ako ng phone call
10:29si mommy na naaksidente.
10:32Nung sinend sa akin yung picture,
10:34napasigaw talaga.
10:35Kasi grabe yung
10:36tumba talaga daw
10:37ng anak.
10:38Gumulong?
10:39Gumulong.
10:39Karabe.
10:40How's your mom now?
10:41In pain, pare.
10:42Pero for an 88-year-old,
10:44grabe ang lakas niya.
10:45Dahil kung sa akin nangyari yun,
10:47bala mang patay na ako.
10:48Yun yun ang sinasabi.
10:49Ito was a miracle talaga.
10:50And I was so scared
10:51kasi galing ako kay Nanay Jane.
10:53Tapos ito,
10:54parang sabi ko,
10:55oh my God,
10:56parang yun yun eh.
10:57Yung start na nung nag-Japan ako na,
10:58Lord,
10:59bakit sunod-sunod naman po?
11:00Akala ko,
11:01mawawala ako naman yung mom po.
11:03Pwedeng stop muna.
11:04Parang sunod-sunod eh.
11:06Huwag mo muna kunin mom.
11:07Yun lang yung hinihiling ko.
11:09I will do everything.
11:10Not dahil meron akong kailangan sa'yo,
11:12pero isa lang yung hiling ko.
11:14Huwag ka na munang kumuha
11:15ng kahit sinong mahal.
11:17Kasi talaga sa totoo lang,
11:19nung mga times na
11:20kailangan ko mag-grieve,
11:21hindi ako nakapag-grieve
11:22sa mga nawala sa akin.
11:24Starting from Rico
11:24to Direkwen
11:25to my dad.
11:26Yung completely
11:27mag-grieve.
11:28Dinano ko ang ano ka talaga
11:30sa trabaho,
11:31yung time nung kay Rico.
11:32Binaon ko,
11:33ABS,
11:33they told me nga na ano eh,
11:35you can take time off,
11:36you know.
11:37Dumating sa panon,
11:38sinabi ko na ayoko na mag-artista.
11:39Sinabi ko yun sa mga boss
11:41na hindi ako lilipat
11:42ng channel,
11:43ayoko na.
11:44Parang sobra na yung
11:45pinagdaanan ko.
11:47Parang that time
11:47na feel ko rin
11:48na parang campes sila
11:49kay Rico.
11:50Hindi baling ako yung masira.
11:52Basta mabigay lang
11:53kung ano yung kay Rico.
11:54So,
11:55asan si Claudine noon
11:56yung nabalitaan niya
11:57na wala na si Rico?
11:59Ganito kasi yan.
12:00Alam mo lahat ng tao
12:01na live-in kami naman
12:02ni Rico,
12:02diba?
12:03So,
12:03ang nangyayari was
12:04November 2001.
12:06Sa ad congress siya,
12:07pag uwi niya
12:08end of November,
12:10may nalaman ako.
12:11And,
12:11naghiwala kami.
12:12Pero we were still staying
12:13under the same roof.
12:14And,
12:14ang usapan is
12:15January move out.
12:17He was really sorry
12:18and he was asking pa na
12:19ayaw pa niya umayas.
12:20So,
12:21we're doing God to believe
12:22ng time na yun eh.
12:23So,
12:23parang saka ko,
12:24sige,
12:24let's be professional,
12:25let's work.
12:26Pero hindi na tayo
12:26magkakabalikan.
12:28Kasi,
12:28hindi na ako magiging
12:29yung Claudine na gusto mo.
12:30Na Claudine na minahala.
12:32Bakit inuldukan mo?
12:33Eh,
12:33samantala nag-effort yung iso.
12:35Alam mo,
12:35ang tagal kong
12:36pirotektahan yung panganan
12:37na bibit ko.
12:38Pareho kami may mali.
12:39Hindi ko lang talaga
12:41matanggap yung time na yun.
12:42O ano man yung nangyari
12:43during ad congress.
12:45Yun yun.
12:46And then,
12:46January,
12:47sabi ko,
12:48you have to leave.
12:49Kasi may sarili naman siyang
12:50condo with Bobby.
12:51Parang naglalag,
12:52nang naglalag,
12:53nang naglalag.
12:54Hanggang sa'yo yung
12:54naging March na.
12:55Kasi sabi ko,
12:56wala nang balikan to.
12:57Yun na.
12:58Let's remain friends.
12:59Kasi,
13:00pag nakipag-break ka naman,
13:01hindi,
13:02ibig sabi,
13:02hindi mo na mahal yung tao eh.
13:04Diba?
13:04Ang tagal,
13:05mag-move on ka,
13:05may process yan,
13:06diba?
13:07So,
13:07nung nangyari yung anniversary
13:09namin ng March 4,
13:10yun na yun,
13:11yung sinabi ko,
13:11may usapan tayo.
13:13Hindi na talaga pwede.
13:14March 4 yun,
13:15umabot ng March 5,
13:16yung away namin.
13:17Pero hindi totoo
13:18na sinaktan ako ni Rico
13:21o naging violent siya.
13:23O ano,
13:23yun ang gusto ko iklaro.
13:25Never.
13:25Hindi naman siya perfect,
13:26hindi ako perfect.
13:28Nagsigawan kami,
13:28pero hindi,
13:29umabot sa,
13:31nananakit.
13:31Hindi siya ganyan.
13:32So,
13:33that really hurt me so much
13:34nung sinabi ng tao na,
13:35actually,
13:36kay Tito Rikilol lumabas yun.
13:37Kinausap namin ng mga kapatid ko na,
13:39tanggalin mo yun
13:40kasi hindi totoo yan.
13:41Gentleman yun si Rico,
13:43sobra.
13:43And,
13:44March 6,
13:44ang birthday ni Getsen.
13:46March 8,
13:46ginawa yung party.
13:48Ngayon,
13:48ang nangyari is,
13:50March 8 was the victory party
13:51of Got to Believe.
13:53Sabi ni ate ko,
13:53please come naman,
13:55kahit napagod-napagod na ako.
13:56Pumunta ako sa birthday na ate ko.
13:57Pero pinauwi ko na yung driver
13:59at saka yung PA ko
14:00para makapagpahinga.
14:02Si Kuya Dennis at si Marjorie
14:03na maghahatid sa akin.
14:05Lasing na lasing si Kuya Dennis,
14:06hindi niya ako nahatid.
14:07Andun si Ray Mart.
14:08Andun yan si Joey Marquez.
14:10So,
14:10ang ending,
14:11si Joey Marquez maghahatid sa akin
14:13o si Ray Mart.
14:14Para niya kasi si Joey Marquez.
14:16Si Ray Mart,
14:16has yun sige.
14:17Si Ray Mart ang naghahatid sa akin
14:18with Daniela.
14:19So,
14:20may bit-bit akong mga bagay niyan.
14:21Siya ang kumarga kay Danny.
14:22Dinala sa unit ko.
14:24Ngayon,
14:24naghahanap siya
14:25ng kondominium.
14:27Tapos,
14:27nakita niya yung kondo ko.
14:29Naaliw siya
14:29kasi two floors.
14:31So,
14:31sabi niya,
14:32meron ba binebenta dito?
14:33Sabi ko may sacrificial sale
14:35dito sa LPL.
14:36Yung mga pasalo.
14:37Yes,
14:38oo.
14:38So,
14:39the next day,
14:39sabi niya,
14:40pwede ko bang puntahan?
14:41The next day,
14:42nine yun.
14:42Pinuntahan niya ako.
14:43Ten birthday ni Julia.
14:45Sa party ulit ni Julia.
14:46Hanggang sa everyday
14:47magkasama na kami.
14:48Pero,
14:49grupo kami.
14:50Bago pa lang yung Eastwood nun.
14:51Joey Marquez,
14:52marami kami to the point
14:53na ako na-chismis
14:54with Joey Marquez.
14:55Kasi matangkad si Joey Marquez.
14:57Maliit si Raymart.
14:57So,
14:57pag naglakad kami,
14:58akambin si Joey Marquez
15:00muna yung makikita mo.
15:01Diba?
15:01So,
15:02hindi siya naniligaw
15:03or anything.
15:04Pero,
15:04parang ganun na rin yun.
15:05Diba?
15:06Parang nagpaparamdam
15:07or whatever.
15:08Anil naniligaw siya akin
15:09during that time
15:10na kami ni Rico.
15:12Hindi alam ng mga manliligaw
15:13na kayo pa ni Rico.
15:15Ala?
15:15Pero,
15:15hindi ko talaga pinapansin.
15:17Pagpapadala silang flowers.
15:18Medyo actually nakabastos
15:22na bastusan ako for Rico's sake.
15:24So,
15:24everyday magkasama kami
15:25tapos nag-work ako.
15:27Magpapadala si Raymart
15:28ng food.
15:28Ganyan.
15:29Tapos,
15:30syempre,
15:30gusto ko rin pangita kayo Rico
15:31na totoo na talaga to.
15:33Ito,
15:33tignan mo o.
15:34Mag-a-accept na ako
15:35ng mga manliligaw.
15:36Parang ganun.
15:37Kasi syempre,
15:38hurt ako eh.
15:39Gusto ko pakita sa kanya.
15:40Mag-move on na ako talaga.
15:41Ang last usapan namin
15:42was March 17
15:44and then 24
15:45and then the night na
15:48yun yung pinakap
15:49na yung sisisihan ko.
15:50The night na
15:50March 29
15:52na madaling araw.
15:53Tumatawag siya.
15:54I had two phones.
15:55Dati yung Nokia yun
15:56at Ericsson.
15:57Ang Ericsson meron
15:58pang black.
15:59Sublinak ko yung number na.
16:00So,
16:01parang sinabi nung sister niya
16:02yung last call niya
16:03was sa sister niya
16:04at sa akin.
16:05Na hindi mo nasagot?
16:06Seven phone calls yun.
16:07Na hindi ko talaga sinagot.
16:08Seven missed calls.
16:09Intentionally,
16:10hindi mo sinagot.
16:11Intentionally,
16:11blinak.
16:12So,
16:12kung sana sinagot mo,
16:14hindi nangyari yun.
16:15Yun ang feeling mo,
16:16kasalanan mo?
16:17Alam mo,
16:17ngayon,
16:17naisip ko,
16:18baka yun yung pinakamalaking karma ko.
16:20Hindi mo sinagot
16:21yung mga calls ni Rico.
16:23Yeah.
16:24And totoo,
16:24nandun si Raymark.
16:26Klaklaruhin ko.
16:26In all fairness
16:28kay Raymark.
16:28Nandun si Raymark saan?
16:30Sa Subic rin.
16:31Nasa Dos Palmas
16:31si Rico,
16:32matagal nang binili yung mga tickets.
16:34Dapat kasama ako.
16:35Hindi ako pumunta.
16:36I spent time
16:37with my family
16:38in Subic.
16:38Nandun si Raymark.
16:39Yeah.
16:40Usually naman,
16:41odge,
16:41kapag ka Holy Week,
16:43kung wala ka sa Baguio,
16:44sa Boracay,
16:45nasa Subic,
16:45ganyan,
16:46nagkataon merong golf tournament
16:48si Congressman Bojidi
16:49na isa sa mga
16:50super close friends
16:51ni Raymark.
16:53Isa sa mga nagkasal sa amin
16:54ni Raymark,
16:54si Isabella.
16:55So,
16:55yun ang pinunta niya talaga doon.
16:57At the same time,
16:58andun na rin naman ako.
16:59Eh,
16:59parang nangliligaw na rin
17:00ng konti.
17:01Kasi tahinig siya,
17:02so hindi ko alam eh.
17:03Si Rico nga,
17:04hindi ko alam na
17:04naging boyfriend ko
17:05until sinabi ko,
17:06you have to ask me.
17:07Diba?
17:08Na,
17:08pwede ba kita maging girlfriend?
17:10Ganyan.
17:10So,
17:10totoo.
17:11Totoo nag-dinner kami
17:12with my family
17:13with Raymark.
17:14Because actually,
17:15ang Santiago's and ang Barretos
17:16very close.
17:17Kami lang ni Raymark
17:17ang hindi close.
17:18Kami lang yung hindi nag-uusap
17:19at nagpapansinan sa party.
17:21Yun.
17:22So,
17:22totoo yun.
17:23Pero para lumande
17:24or to spend time with Raymark
17:25in a romantic way,
17:27no.
17:27Hindi,
17:28hindi yun.
17:28Alam ng Diyos yun.
17:29Okay.
17:30So,
17:30nung namatay si Rico,
17:31nandun si Raymark.
17:32Nandun si Raymark
17:33sa Subic
17:34kung saan nandun ka
17:35tsaka yung family mo.
17:36Yes.
17:36Actually,
17:37nung brinake yung noose,
17:38nandun rin si Raymark.
17:39Nandun dad ko.
17:40And it was the first time
17:41na nakita ko
17:41umiya-contact ko.
17:43At doon ko rin nakita
17:44kung gaano
17:45ka-strong pala
17:46ang babae
17:46kesa sa lalaki.
17:48Because,
17:48magla-launch dapat
17:49sina congressman,
17:50nandun,
17:50mag-bigpanala ng food,
17:52ganyan.
17:52Sa bahay namin,
17:53andun si Raymark,
17:54biglang lahat nawala.
17:55Yung mga bata nawala,
17:56cellphone ko,
17:57hindi ko mahanap.
17:58So,
17:58hinahanap ko yung cellphone ko,
17:59umakit ako.
18:00Kasalubong ko si Kuya Dennis,
18:01iyak ng iyak.
18:02Kasi sabi ko,
18:02anong nangyayari?
18:03Tapos,
18:04where's mom and dad?
18:05Sabi,
18:05kausapin ka doon ni daddy.
18:07Bakit tayo?
18:08So,
18:08umakit ako,
18:09pumunta ako doon,
18:10umupo ako sa may bed,
18:11pumunta na si Marjorie nandun,
18:13yung Kuya ko si Mito nandun,
18:14yung Kuya ko si Jay nandun,
18:16anon si Raymark,
18:16anon si congressman.
18:18Pagpaso ko,
18:19feeling ko,
18:19ano to intervention?
18:21Feeling ko,
18:22tatanongin ako ng dad ko
18:23about yung nilinabas ni Tito Ricky Lo,
18:25kung talagang sinaktan ako,
18:26ni Rico.
18:27Pero ang point ko,
18:28parang,
18:28what's this?
18:29If you're gonna ask me about it,
18:30huwag naman sa hirawapan ng ibang tao.
18:32Ginanin ko na yung dad ko.
18:33Hinawakan niya ako,
18:34both my hands sob and tight-y,
18:36and then,
18:37he looks straight to my face,
18:38and sabi niya sa akin,
18:39then,
18:40you know that Rico
18:43Yes, sabi ko.
18:44Pero gumagano na yung heart ko.
18:45This morning,
18:46tapos nag-crack yung voice.
18:47They found him dead.
18:49Hindi pa niya natapos yung
18:51you found him dead.
18:52Alam ko na.
18:53Nakutuban mo na.
18:55And, alam mo,
18:56yung parang lumiit yung kwarto,
18:58parang dumilim,
18:59and then I started shouting,
19:01open the blinds,
19:02open the lights,
19:03and then,
19:03umalis yung dad ko,
19:05umalis yung mga kuya ko.
19:06Hindi nila natiis.
19:07Ang natira si Marjorie
19:08at si mami ko.
19:09So, doon kasi sabi
19:10yung strength ng babae talaga.
19:11Kasi hindi kinaya
19:12ng mga kuya ko
19:13na makita.
19:14Hindi ako umiiyaki nun eh.
19:15Nag-panic attack ako.
19:17First panic attack ko yun
19:18na matinda na,
19:19sabi na mam ko,
19:20all the blinds are open.
19:21So, I ran down
19:22dun sa may ano,
19:23give me my phone,
19:24give me my phone.
19:25Tapos,
19:26nag-agawa na kami
19:27ng ate ko,
19:27si Marjorie.
19:28Tapos nakita ko na,
19:29first caller ko,
19:30si Datay Dolphy,
19:31tapos si Ate V.
19:32And then,
19:33puro tita Lulu,
19:34puti taluluga niya,
19:34tita Marielle,
19:35Mr. M,
19:36lahat ng mga boss
19:36wala dito sa FBS.
19:38So,
19:38tumawag ako
19:39kay Dominic,
19:40hindi sumasagot.
19:40Tumawag ako kay Guido,
19:41yung kasama nila,
19:42hindi sumasagot.
19:43Tumawag ako kay Janna,
19:44hindi sumasagot.
19:45Finally,
19:45tumawag ako kay Geraldine,
19:47hindi na sumasagot.
19:48Tumawag ako kay Marvin,
19:49akala ko kasama si Marvin.
19:51Sabi ko,
19:51where are you?
19:52Where are you?
19:53Sabi ko,
19:53where's Rico?
19:53Sabi ko,
19:54tell me,
19:54is he okay?
19:55Is he okay?
19:56Sabi niya,
19:56what's happening?
19:57Anong nangyayari,
19:57Cloud?
19:58Bakit ka nagagalit?
20:00Ba't ka sumisigaw?
20:01Sabi ko,
20:02is it true?
20:03Sabi ko,
20:04is it true?
20:04Just tell me,
20:05sabihin mo na sa akin,
20:05Marvin.
20:06Sabi ko,
20:07sabi niya,
20:07ano?
20:07Ang sasabihin ko sa'yo,
20:08nasaan ka?
20:09Sabi ko,
20:10nasaan si Rico?
20:11Sabi ko,
20:12ganun.
20:12Anong sinasabi nilang patay na,
20:14ano?
20:14Patay na si Rico?
20:15Nagsisigaw naman si Marvin.
20:17So,
20:17binaba ko na,
20:18nare-realize ko,
20:18ah,
20:18hindi pala kasama si Marvin.
20:20Finally,
20:21tumawag na si Dominic.
20:22Sabi ko,
20:23where are you?
20:23At the hospital.
20:24So,
20:25may hope akong konti.
20:26Can I talk to the doctors,
20:28please?
20:28Klao,
20:28wala na.
20:30Hindi na pwede.
20:32Ilang besos na nirevive.
20:33Tryin niyo lang ulit.
20:34Please.
20:35Sabi ko,
20:35baka usap mo lang.
20:36Tryin mo lang ulit.
20:37Sunog na.
20:38Hindi na pwede.
20:40Wala na.
20:41Doon na ako.
20:42Biglang may nurse na sumaksak sa akin ng value.
20:45And,
20:45dumiretsyo akong bulakan
20:46sa kalumpit sa rest house
20:48ni Kuya Dennis at ni Marjorie.
20:50Nag-aantay ng tawag.
20:52Till,
20:53I don't know what happened.
20:54Umawag daw si Gerald din kay Marjorie.
20:56Asking na sa anak ko.
20:58Till,
20:58I got the call from Bobby
20:59na sinabi na,
21:00it's better na
21:01you placed him alone.
21:02And,
21:02lahat ito,
21:03inuulit ko lang for the timeline.
21:05Okay?
21:05Pero,
21:05lahat to,
21:06all is forgiven.
21:07Emotions were all high.
21:08So,
21:09I cannot say na,
21:10ang sama na ugali nito,
21:11ang sama na na to,
21:12dapat di ginawa ni ano to.
21:13Hindi.
21:14Ang masakit doon,
21:15Onge,
21:15sa pangyayaring yun,
21:17was,
21:17diba,
21:18syempre,
21:18bawal ako,
21:19diba?
21:19Pumunta doon.
21:20Ang sinabi lang,
21:21ang hindi ko alam.
21:24I was asking,
21:25why?
21:26Tapos,
21:27sabi niya lang na,
21:27parang,
21:28kailangan yung suit ni Rico
21:30tunin sa condo.
21:31Sa condo niyo.
21:32And then,
21:33sinabi niya,
21:33he broke the call.
21:34Where are you?
21:35Sabi ko,
21:35where are you?
21:36Where will I go?
21:37Tapos,
21:37sabi niya,
21:38parang,
21:38it's better na.
21:39Wag mo na.
21:40Just pray for him alone na lang.
21:41So,
21:42yun,
21:42why?
21:43Tapos,
21:43naririg na ako ng ate ko,
21:44kinuha niya na yung phone.
21:46Magsisisigaw na yung ate ko.
21:47Si Marjorie.
21:49Why?
21:49Bahat ganyan,
21:50ganyan,
21:50ganyan.
21:51Kakausap ko lang sa kapatid na isa,
21:53na sinabi na,
21:54where's Claudine?
21:55And,
21:55ito,
21:56ano ba talaga?
21:56Ano ba ang desisyon?
21:58So,
21:58yung healing time namin ni Nijel,
22:00dun,
22:01dun ko tinanong kung bakit rin.
22:03And,
22:03yung time na,
22:04paang kinu-crucify
22:05at galit na galit yung mga tao sa akin.
22:08At sinasabi na,
22:09pinagpalit ko si Rico.
22:10Alam ng Diyos,
22:11mawala na lahat ng mga taong mahal ko.
22:13Pero,
22:13never ko niloko si Rico.
22:15Ang question ko nga eh,
22:16kung ako yung namatay,
22:18ganoon na ba ang gagawin niyo kay Rico?
22:20Yun na ba yung pagdadaanan niya?
22:22Kasi,
22:22ayokong mapagdaanan na yung pinagdaanan ko.
22:25I mean,
22:25ika-question din ba yung mga na,
22:27ano sa kanya?
22:28Sa mga na-chisme sa kanya?
22:30Ipipilit ba?
22:31Natotoo yun?
22:31Diba?
22:32I mean,
22:32kung sa akin nangyari yun,
22:34baka mas grabe pa yung ginawa sa kanya.
22:36And that,
22:36during the time na kinu-crucify ako ng tao
22:38at sinasabi nila kasalanan ko,
22:40ang hindi alam ng tao,
22:42ako rin,
22:43sinisisi ko rin yung sarili ko.
22:47Na sana,
22:48sana,
22:50mas maging compassionate
22:52or understanding yung tao.
22:54Kasi,
22:55kung pinapanish niyo ako,
22:57pinapanish ko rin yung sarili ko.
23:00Kung galit kayo sa akin,
23:01mas galit ako sa hini ko.
23:04So,
23:04itong last na,
23:06ano niya hini ko,
23:07yun na yung sinabi ko na,
23:08okay,
23:09this is the last time
23:09I'm ever going to talk about him.
23:11But I will still celebrate.
23:13I will still celebrate him.
23:14I will still,
23:15of course,
23:15sa birthdays,
23:16sa death anniversary,
23:18sa lahat ng mga importanteng araw
23:20na dapat ako nandun.
23:21This is not going to stop me
23:23from going to visit him.
23:25To have,
23:25parang,
23:26it's the start kami ni Tita-sita
23:28to have a nice relationship.
23:29You know,
23:30and isa pang gusto kong,
23:32klaro,
23:32Tina is the youngest,
23:34okay,
23:34and Tina never got mad at me.
23:37She was,
23:38you know,
23:38so scared to go to Marjorie's house
23:41knowing that
23:41andun si Marjorie,
23:42andun si Gretchen,
23:43andun lahat ng mga
23:45hindi pumunta na sa wake
23:46or pumunta na dun
23:47at may sarili kaming wake sa bahay.
23:50Dun kutil nung si Raymark.
23:51Una,
23:52kasi sabi ko na,
23:53kaya,
23:53pati yung mga Santiago's
23:54nadadamahin na,
23:55ganyan,
23:55ganyan,
23:56ganyan.
23:56Tapos sabi ko,
23:57nililigawan mo ba ako,
23:58Raymark.
23:59Nagtahimik lahat ng tao,
24:00tapos sabi niya,
24:01ah,
24:01sana,
24:02kung pwede.
24:03So,
24:03dun ko lang nalaman na,
24:04okay,
24:05ito pala yun.
24:06Yun yung timeline.
24:07Okay,
24:08pero hindi ko sinagot agad si Raymark.
24:10Sabi ko,
24:10hindi ako ready.
24:11So,
24:11it took like one year pa
24:12na nanligaw siya.
24:13Maybe it was
24:14because I was vulnerable.
24:16Maybe it was because I was sad.
24:17Mabuting tao rin naman siya,
24:18kahit paano eh.
24:19Alam mo yun?
24:20Pero yung,
24:21sana malaman ng tao na,
24:22pala dala ko yun araw-araw.
24:24Kung nandun ako,
24:25baka buhay pa siya.
24:26Alam mo yun?
24:27Pero may sinabi sa akin yung dad ko
24:29na tumatak sa akin na,
24:30did,
24:31don't you think na God
24:32didn't allow you to go there?
24:34Because,
24:35what if you were there
24:35and you couldn't save Him?
24:37What if,
24:37pagising mo ka,
24:38tabi mo,
24:38malamig na na bangkay?
24:40Binatroma ka pa?
24:41You think Rico would want that?
24:43So,
24:43be more,
24:44ano sa salili mo?
24:45Kasi I was so mad at myself.
24:47You know,
24:47I was hardly eating.
24:48I was, you know,
24:49working, working, working, working.
24:50Even if ABS would tell me na,
24:52take all the time you want.
24:54But you see,
24:54of course,
24:55yung cameraman ko
24:55from mula sa puso,
24:57ano,
24:57I had the same staff,
24:59ganyan.
24:59Lahat silang mawawalan ng trabaho
25:01dahil namatayan ako.
25:02Namatay si Rico
25:03na Friday, Monday,
25:04I was already taping.
25:05And,
25:05ginawa ni Direk when lahat
25:07para lang mapaiyak ako.
25:09Kasi galit na galit ako
25:10sa sarili ko.
25:11And the only time
25:12na umiiyak ako
25:12was when I had interviews
25:14about him.
25:15But other than that,
25:16pinipilit ako ng mga kapatid ko
25:17that it's okay to cry.
25:19And then yun,
25:19ayaw na nila ako bumalik ng LPL.
25:21So I stayed with Margie
25:22and kaya Dennis na rin.
25:24So,
25:24yun yung pinagsisisihan ko.
25:26Baka kung nandun ako,
25:27baka nagawan ko ng paraan.
25:29Pero hindi rin ako doktor.
25:30Hindi rin ako Diyos.
25:31Tama rin yung dad ko
25:32sa part na yun.
25:33What is?
25:34Baka nabaliw na ako
25:35kung hindi ko siya gasi.
25:36So,
25:37sa mga tao na
25:38nagsasabing kasalanan ko,
25:40ganun na rin ang tingin ko
25:41sa sarili ko.
25:42So,
25:43sana,
25:43mas maging understanding kayo
25:45kahit konti.
25:46Dahil yung galit nyo sa akin
25:48naman,
25:49siguro,
25:50a million times over
25:51ang galit ko sa sarili ko
25:53ng panahon na yun.
25:54And,
25:55ito guys,
25:56I'm not using Rico
25:57when people say that
25:58I'm using him.
25:59No,
25:59I just want him to be remembered.
26:02And,
26:02yun,
26:03this is,
26:03like what I said,
26:04onj,
26:05sa'yo ko ng last
26:06na pag-uusapan to.
26:08And then,
26:08I will not talk about him anymore.
26:10He's already in God's hands.
26:12But,
26:12he's always gonna be in my heart.
26:14At,
26:1422 years.
26:1622 years.
26:17And,
26:18it never goes away.
26:20You pay?
26:22Naihinga mo na ngayon,
26:23Claudine.
26:24Yung iba kasi,
26:24mami-misinterprete to eh.
26:26Na,
26:26oh,
26:27matagal na namatay si Rico.
26:29Bakit nagsasalita ka pa rin?
26:30Hindi na maibigay ni Rico
26:32yan ang kanyang side.
26:34Dahil side lang ni Claudine
26:35ang naririnig.
26:37Pero,
26:37itong pagsasalita mo,
26:38para mabawasan
26:39kahit paano yung guilt.
26:41Itong pagsasalita ko,
26:42nagkataon kasi na
26:44March 29,
26:45Rico died on a
26:46Good Friday.
26:47And,
26:47after 22 years,
26:48yung March 29,
26:50landed on a Good Friday
26:51also,
26:51remember?
26:52Ito,
26:52ano?
26:53So,
26:54doon ko na narealize.
26:55I was in Japan noon.
26:56Parang,
26:56takbo ko ng takbo
26:58kapagka dumating yung araw na yun.
26:59Parang,
27:00bangungungot na paulit-ulit.
27:02Pero,
27:02itong,
27:03it really hit me.
27:04And,
27:04usually,
27:05yung comments sa mga nagbabasyakin,
27:07ano,
27:07pinapacheck ko muna
27:08yung mga comments sa iba.
27:10Pinapa-erase ko na
27:11para,
27:11ayaw ka ng anything negative.
27:13Merong,
27:14si Sabina
27:14stumbled about
27:15somebody who said na,
27:16you're a hypocrite,
27:18ganyan,
27:18ganyan,
27:18ganyan.
27:19And,
27:19nakita ko na bother yung anak ko.
27:21Wala lang,
27:21pinaglalaroan lang nila yung phone ko,
27:23tumitingin ng mga pictures,
27:24sasinig lang yung IG ko,
27:26ganyan.
27:26Tapos,
27:27three months late nila,
27:28yung ibang anak.
27:28Pero,
27:29yung,
27:29you're a hypocrite,
27:30ganyan,
27:30ganyan,
27:31ginagawit mo siya riko.
27:32Parang,
27:32parang,
27:33a feeling ko,
27:33pinaghihirapan ko kung sino ako ngayon,
27:36kung ano ako,
27:37kung ano man yung naabot ko.
27:39And,
27:39doon ko na realize na,
27:40okay,
27:41tama na.
27:41Hindi na.
27:48March 29 na Good Friday.
27:49Made me realize na,
27:50you know,
27:51there are some things
27:52that I really have to let go.
27:53But,
27:53there are some things
27:54that I'm gonna keep close to me.
27:56Nasa akin na lang.
27:57Na,
27:57hindi ako hypocrite.
28:00Actually,
28:00magpa-five years naman talaga kami,
28:02hindi four years eh.
28:03Yun yung totoo.
28:04Sabi nga ni Direk,
28:05when,
28:05one,
28:06two years in this business,
28:07grabe,
28:08good na yun,
28:08sobra.
28:09To last four or five years,
28:11almost five years,
28:12I mean,
28:13in a relationship.
28:13Ang mamahal yun.
28:14Kung meron kayong
28:15hindi nakitang maganda sa akin,
28:17siguro meron siya
28:18nakitang maganda sa akin
28:19para tumagal kami ng gano'n,
28:21yung love na yun,
28:22hindi na maulit yun
28:23sa buong buhay ko.
28:24Kailan man,
28:25magmahal man ako ulit,
28:27it's never gonna be the same.
28:28At sinisikwa sa sarili ko.
28:30Like guys,
28:31kung yung nga sinabi ko,
28:32eh,
28:33kung kung mga,
28:33kunyari,
28:34makukulong ako
28:35ng for life,
28:37ang feeling ko dapat sa akin,
28:38death penalty.
28:39Ganon.
28:40Ganon ako kagalit sa sarili ko.
28:42Ganon ko kadaladala yun.
28:43And,
28:44I remember yung dad ko,
28:45after siya tumuhan,
28:47nung nasa regular room niya,
28:48sabi niya,
28:49then,
28:50all I want is for you to be okay
28:51and do that.
28:53If it's my time,
28:54Rico's gonna be waiting for me.
28:55And he's gonna say,
28:56he's so proud of you.
28:58But, you know,
28:59odds,
28:59ang pinaka,
29:00maganda lang talaga.
29:02Parang prepare ako ni Rico
29:03hanggang sa huling hinigan niya,
29:05pinaglaban at pinagtanggol niya ako.
29:07Kasi left a letter
29:08na inaamin lahat
29:10ng mga kasalanan niya.
29:11And that's when people
29:12realize
29:13na hindi ako kasi sabah
29:15na yung isip nila.
29:16Again,
29:17hindi nag-overlap si Raymar
29:18at si Rico.
29:19In all fairness
29:20rin kay Raymar.
29:21I don't think
29:22he would go for
29:23somebody who's already
29:24seeing somebody also.
29:26Diba?
29:26Parang,
29:27makikita mo,
29:27ah,
29:28hindi ganyan yung tipong babae
29:29gusto ko makasama.
29:30Na from one relationship,
29:32another relationship.
29:33It was exactly a year,
29:34almost a year
29:35nung naging kami ni Raymar
29:36after that.
29:37Dahil kay Aga,
29:38Charlene yun.
29:39Try mo lang,
29:40try mo lang.
29:41Kasi grabe mag-effort yung tao.
29:43And you know what?
29:44The right,
29:45isang bagay na
29:45gusto ko naman talaga
29:47kay Raymar
29:47is that he allows me
29:48to celebrate Rico.
29:50And alam mo yun,
29:51I think also,
29:52it's kung may magkakabali
29:53ako kay Raymar.
29:54Yun yung,
29:54hindi ako naging fair
29:55sa part na yun.
29:57Pero wholeheartedly
29:58naman yun,
29:58tinanggap yun.
29:59Kasi alam niyo
30:00wala siyang kasalanan.
30:01Ako nabatuhin yun,
30:02pero yung asawa ko
30:03walang ginawa.
30:04So,
30:0522 years ago na yun,
30:06anong nang nararamdaman mo
30:08ngayon?
30:08Naibsan ba,
30:10kahit paano pa,
30:11ay hindi man nakalimot,
30:12kundi natanggap mo
30:14ng lahat,
30:14na hindi mo na masyadong
30:16sinisisisarili mo ngayon.
30:17Yung pagsisisikot,
30:19meron pa,
30:19marami pa.
30:20Oh?
30:21Except for you guys,
30:22labanandaan ko na,
30:23it's not your fault.
30:24I'm really sorry
30:25kung bakit ako
30:26nagsasilta ngayon
30:27at sayo ko lang.
30:30Sinabi yun,
30:30on.
30:31Kaya ako,
30:32siguro,
30:32ganito ka-emotional
30:33because this is a chapter
30:34that I'm closing.
30:36A chapter that I'm closing
30:39and a chapter that I'm beginning.
30:4122 years,
30:42pero yung 22 years na yun,
30:44sobra rin yung mga tao
30:45na kahit hindi nga siya kilala eh.
30:48Mahal na mahal siya.
30:49Grabe ang galit sa akin.
30:51Hipokrita ko.
30:52Malad niya ko.
30:53Niloko ko si Rico.
30:54O, ganyan.
30:55Kayo nga,
30:56eh, mahal niya siya.
30:57Hindi niyo naman siya nakinala.
30:58Ako pa kayang nakasama ko.
31:01Wala pa akong karapatan
31:02na sumumahan loob.
31:04Wala ba akong karapatan
31:05mag-grieve?
31:06And,
31:07sabi ko,
31:07ito na yung last time
31:08I'm ever,
31:09I'm gonna speak about him.
31:10Kaya masakit.
31:11Kung ano man yung meron ako,
31:12this is akin eh.
31:13Pupunta ka pa rin
31:14sa kanyang punton.
31:16Pero,
31:17hindi ko na
31:17masashare sa fan.
31:19Kasi nung nakita ng mga anak ko,
31:21nahurt sila.
31:22And I explained that
31:22your dad was never like that.
31:24Because,
31:25I only talk good things
31:26about Raymart sa mga anak ko.
31:28So,
31:28hindi ginawa ni Raymart
31:30yung mga sinasabi
31:30na ginawa niya.
31:31At hindi,
31:32never nag-overlap.
31:33At alam niliko yun.
31:34After ilang years,
31:36nagkasama kami,
31:36new family,
31:37nagkaroon kami na closure
31:38ni Geraldine,
31:39ganyan.
31:39Yung nga,
31:40like,
31:40going back to Tina,
31:41during that time na
31:42wala si Rico,
31:43she took a cab
31:44to Marjorie's house.
31:46You know,
31:46syempre,
31:46nakakatakot yun,
31:47andun yung mga kapatid ko.
31:48Galit.
31:49Syempre, di ba?
31:50Pero,
31:50you know,
31:51they accepted her
31:52with open arms.
31:53She was there,
31:54grieving with me.
31:55So,
31:55hindi lahat ng young family
31:56galit sa akin nun.
31:58We held each other.
31:59Kaya,
32:00we're sisters for life.
32:01Kasi,
32:01kaming dalawa lang
32:02talaga yung nag-hold
32:03na solid eh.
32:04So,
32:04nung namatay daddy ko,
32:05nandun siya.
32:06Ganun.
32:07And up to this day,
32:08talagang grabe solid yung
32:09magmamahalan namin ni Tina.
32:11At okay kayo
32:12ng mami ni Rico?
32:13Yes.
32:14Yung naman importante.
32:15Yung naman importante.
32:16And,
32:17sinabi ko kay Tita Sita,
32:18Tita,
32:18you know,
32:19I need to take care of you.
32:20Yung mga hindi nagawa ni Rico,
32:22siguro dapat ako na yung gumawa.
32:24And,
32:24you know,
32:25alam ko na-appreciate na yun.
32:26She's a very strong woman.
32:28But she also has a very good heart.
32:29Nawalan siya ng anak.
32:30At the end of the day,
32:31kung meron man,
32:32pinaka nawalan dito.
32:33Si Tita Sita
32:34at Tito Rob.
32:35Yun.
32:36Pero si Tita Sita na lang
32:37ang buhay.
32:37So,
32:38gusto ko siyang maalagaan
32:40gahin yung pag-aalaga ko
32:41sa baba ko.
32:42Gusto ko lang linawin,
32:43ano na.
32:44Ako nagsabi kay Claudine
32:45na gusto ko siyang makausap
32:47kung ano yung damdamin niya
32:49ngayon
32:49after 22 years.
32:51Ngayong nailabas mo rin,
32:52Claudine,
32:53lumuwag ba
32:54ang iyong pakiramid.
32:56Yes.
32:56Pero at the same time,
32:58alam ko,
32:58masasad yung RYCB,
33:00yung Rico can need fans.
33:01Gahin na yung sinabi ko,
33:02tinupad nila eh.
33:03Na huwag kalimutan si Rico.
33:05Hindi ko kinakalimutan
33:06at kakalimutan si Rico.
33:08It's just that,
33:08ayaw ko na baka rinig
33:10yung mga anak ko
33:10na hipokletaho
33:11o masama yung tatay nila
33:13dahil pinotektahan ko
33:15pangalan ni Rico
33:16hanggang sa dulo.
33:17Kahit ako na yung
33:18magmukat maswa.
33:19And like I said,
33:20watch,
33:20thank you so much
33:21kasi nga nalinaw ko na
33:22yung timeline.
33:23Nalinaw ko na yung
33:24mga gusto kong ilinaw.
33:25And sa mga
33:26ayaw pa rin maniwala
33:28at the end of the day,
33:29hanggang sa huling
33:30hininga ni Rico,
33:31alam ko ako yung binahal niya.
33:32So,
33:33alam ko,
33:33meron naman akong
33:34mabuta siguro sa 5 years
33:35mayroon.
33:36Nakita niya na
33:37hindi niya lahat nakikita.
33:38Claude,
33:39ano yung mga
33:40naiwang alaala sa hindi?
33:42Rico,
33:43tinapon mo ba
33:43or itinabi mo?
33:45Tinabi ko lahat.
33:46Which I wanted to share
33:47with you,
33:47Odj.
33:48Pero sinabi ko nga
33:48yung vault ko kailangan.
33:50Sinain kasi
33:50hindi ma-open yung vault.
33:52So,
33:52I can't
33:53anong nandun sa loob.
33:54At mga letters niya
33:55which na-share ko rin.
33:57Na-share ko yung iba
33:57na I wanted to share more.
33:59But I think
34:00yung pinaka-importante
34:01is that
34:02sa mga tao
34:03na nangbabash,
34:04is that
34:04napakabuting tao ni Rico
34:06na hanggang sa gulo,
34:07he made sure na
34:08linisan yung pangalat.
34:09Di ba,
34:10minsan
34:10dumating din yung point
34:12na na-question din
34:13kung sulat ba yun ni Rico?
34:14Oo.
34:15Totoo,
34:16totoo.
34:16Pero pinatotohanan
34:17ng family na
34:18sulat niya ni Rico.
34:20Totoo yun.
34:21Lahat nang inalabas mo
34:22kasi noon,
34:23Claude,
34:23may mga kumukontra.
34:25Pero in fairness,
34:26yung last letter niya
34:26wala talagang kumotro nun.
34:28Kasi
34:28pinatotohanan niya
34:29ng family niya
34:30because
34:31alam nila yung writing.
34:32At saka
34:32nakasulat
34:33Rico yan yung ano eh.
34:35So,
34:35bakit ko gagawin yun?
34:36Hindi ko kailangan gawin yun.
34:38So,
34:38ano yung mga naiwang alaala
34:39sa inyo yung Rico ngayon?
34:41Aside from letters.
34:42Yes, watch.
34:43Na,
34:43ngayon ko lang sinuot ulit.
34:45Kasi alam mo,
34:45takot-takot ako
34:46gamitin to.
34:47Ito?
34:48Yes.
34:48Ito yung last gift ko sa kanya
34:50for
34:51Christmas na makikita
34:52sa inyo sa YouTube.
34:53Na,
34:54ilan lang tao
34:55may ganyan
34:56na
34:56parang I think
34:57200 people pa lang
34:58sa baong mundo
34:59ngayon.
34:59Talaga.
35:00Yung yellow blanket niya.
35:02Actually,
35:03akin yun noon
35:03na kinup-gup niya na talaga
35:05na he cannot sleep without
35:06and
35:07na yun yun ang ginagamit
35:08ng mga anak ko
35:09when they're sick
35:09or whatever,
35:10magic blanket niya
35:11tawag ko dyan eh.
35:12Pag may fever yung mga anak ko
35:13or they feel sad,
35:15Mom,
35:16where's the yellow blankey?
35:17Totoo ba?
35:18Kasi yung
35:18si Barney,
35:19di ba,
35:19may yellow blankey
35:20tawag niya.
35:21So,
35:21Mom,
35:22where's the yellow blankey?
35:23Even si Santino?
35:24Even si Sam?
35:25I need it now.
35:26So,
35:26doon ko nalilaman-ama yun
35:27may pinagdataanan yung mga anak ko.
35:29So,
35:29walang pwedeng maglaba.
35:30Ah,
35:30lang.
35:30Ito walang.
35:32Nakagaling.
35:32Yeah.
35:34Bibigyan ng comfort sa kanila.
35:36Nakabigyan ng comfort.
35:37Tsaka,
35:38yun nga,
35:38nakita diba sa pictures na
35:39muna ng baby si Noah
35:41ni Rap po,
35:42tapos
35:42tinabi nila yung picture ni Rico.
35:45So,
35:45ilang years na to,
35:46siguro 1998 pa to.
35:48And yet it's later.
35:49Saan ginagamit ni Rico to?
35:50Sa taping?
35:51Sa pagtulog niya.
35:52Sa lahat ng tulog niya.
35:53Favorite niya talaga ito.
35:54Talaga,
35:54yung dulo yung inaanyan niya talaga.
35:56Ha?
35:57Ginagan niya.
35:57At patulog niya.
35:59So,
35:59dun ko,
35:59ano.
36:00And like what I say,
36:01in fairness kay Ray Mart,
36:02hindi siya naging madamot.
36:04Kasi people would say,
36:05why are you talking now?
36:06During Ray Mart,
36:07hindi naman.
36:08Kasi kasala ko eh.
36:09Diba?
36:09Respeto na lang yun sa asawa ko.
36:11And,
36:12sana,
36:13syempre diba,
36:14wish ng lahat na sana
36:15magkaayos kayo ni Ray Mart.
36:17Sana talaga.
36:18Sana lang talaga.
36:19Okay na lahat.
36:20Kami,
36:21okay na kami dun eh.
36:22Ang mahirip,
36:22sana lang talaga magkaroon na
36:23ng divorce sa Pilipinas.
36:25Kasi ang nangyayari,
36:26pag annulment,
36:27nagkakalikalan ulit.
36:29So,
36:29away ulit.
36:30Sana,
36:31in a perfect world,
36:32okay na kami.
36:33Talaga.
36:34And,
36:34ang only wish ko lang kay Ray Mart,
36:36spend time with your kids.
36:38Kasi kailangan ka rin ulit.
36:40Mahinap maging nanay at tatay,
36:42hindi ko kayang
36:43palakihin si Seth,
36:45lalo na yung puberty years niya.
36:46Na,
36:47just spend time with your children.
36:49Kasi at the end of the day,
36:50sila rin ang mag-aalaga sa inyo
36:52sa pag-alaga.
36:53Kasi nabo ba yung issue ngayon,
36:54yung utang na loob,
36:55utang na loob.
36:56O,
36:57yung dapat bang tumanaw
36:58ang anak sa magulang?
37:00Ang sagot ko dyan,
37:01obligasyon at responsibilidad
37:03ng anak
37:04na tumanaw
37:05ng utang na loob
37:06sa magulang.
37:07Na sila ang mag-alaga.
37:08Kasi yung ibang katwira nila eh,
37:10pag nagkapamilya ko,
37:12ang tutok ko sa pamilya ko.
37:13Yes,
37:14totoo rin yun.
37:15Diba meron nga sa Bible,
37:16leaving and cleaving,
37:17na ito na yung pamilya mo,
37:19you have to leave.
37:19But,
37:20ang akin,
37:21isa,
37:21kung hindi nyo kaya financially,
37:23spend time,
37:24tawag.
37:25Yan lang.
37:26The other day,
37:26meron akong nalagay na,
37:27it only takes eight minutes
37:29for you to check on a person.
37:31So,
37:31ako,
37:32nung nawala ang dad ko,
37:34nung papasalamat ako
37:34kasi napakita ko lahat
37:36ng yung pagmamahal.
37:37And now,
37:37yung mom ko,
37:38she's so strong.
37:39I've never seen anybody
37:40so strong.
37:42Seven children divided.
37:43And,
37:44alam ko na baka pumikit yung mata niya
37:46na hindi kami magiging okay.
37:47And that would be the end
37:48of our family.
37:50But are you okay with Gretchen?
37:52Yes.
37:52And with Marjorie?
37:54Pag nagkikita kami,
37:55lagi despilidari Gia
37:56nung ate ko galing Boston,
37:58naging iwasan lang.
37:59Pero walang basusan.
38:01Buti okay kayo nag-jul?
38:03Yes.
38:03Actually,
38:03matagal na.
38:04It's just that,
38:05syempre,
38:05apagandyan yung mama niya,
38:07hindi ko siya ma-hug.
38:08Kasi ayoko rin naman
38:09kahit pa paano
38:10na ma-hurt yung kapatid ko.
38:12At siya rin siguro,
38:13diba?
38:13Bilang nga dyan yung nanay niya.
38:15Yun lang yung time talaga
38:16na nai-yakap ko siya.
38:18Kasi,
38:18isa pa yun
38:19sa naging depression ko,
38:20ha?
38:21Si Sabina pa lang
38:22ang anak ko noon.
38:23Sinabihan ako ni Ray Martin,
38:25you have to let go.
38:26Kasi parang pakarambok ko
38:27na wala na ako
38:27ng mga anak talaga
38:28na ito lang
38:29ang pagmamalaki ko.
38:31Walang pwedeng kong
38:31menstrual sa pagmamahal ko
38:33si mga pamangking ko.
38:34Kahit kailan.
38:35I know the story.
38:36Yeah.
38:37Okay.
38:37Kung para noon,
38:38sikat ka.
38:39Ngayon,
38:40syempre,
38:41meron ng pumapalit
38:42sa pwesto mo.
38:42Ngayon bang
38:43medyo ganyan lang
38:45ang karyer mo?
38:45May ipon ba si Claude?
38:47Meron pa.
38:48Pero hindi na.
38:49Lalo na single parent ka.
38:50Hindi sapat.
38:52Nakakaya.
38:52Pero,
38:53alam mo yung totoo.
38:54Nakita mo yung ebidensya.
38:55Malaki yung nawala.
38:56At yun ang ibabalik ko.
38:58And,
38:59ngayon pa lang,
38:59sayo ko sasabihin
39:01na in a few weeks,
39:02magpa-file ulit ako ng VAUC.
39:04Yung part na yun,
39:05pwedeng pag-usapan
39:06because ibang demanda yun.
39:07So, hindi siya kasama
39:08sa gabawars.
39:09So, hindi ba nahihilo
39:10na lilito
39:11yung mga anak nyo?
39:13Dahil may mga ganitong
39:14cena.
39:14Hindi siya lang nalilito
39:15kasi hindi nakikita
39:17yung tatay nila.
39:18I think last year,
39:19four times lang.
39:20This year, once.
39:21And humihingi ng custody.
39:22So, I don't understand.
39:23At 19 and 16 now,
39:25what can happen?
39:26So, hindi sila nalilito.
39:28I think, alam mo,
39:29sa lahat ng pinagdaanan ko,
39:30odds,
39:31ito ang kapagmamalaki ko,
39:32yung mga anak ko,
39:33hindi ako binibigyan
39:34ng problema.
39:35Dito, magyayabang ako.
39:36Hindi ako makarelate
39:37sa mga parents
39:38na sabi,
39:38grabe, sakit na ulos
39:40ganito.
39:40Yung anak ko,
39:41ganyan.
39:42Tumatakas,
39:43umiinom,
39:44ganyan-ganyan.
39:44Hindi, hindi sila ganyan.
39:46Hindi mo na-experience
39:47sa anak mo yun.
39:47No.
39:48So, very, very open
39:50sila sa akin.
39:51To the point na parang
39:52naiilang ako
39:53kasi parang,
39:53hindi kasi ako ganun
39:54sa magulang ko dati.
39:55Di ba?
39:55Hindi naman ganun uso dati.
39:57Na lahat sinasabi.
39:59Lahat pinapaalam.
40:00May sabihin na,
40:0019 na siya,
40:01up to 20 na siya.
40:02Pero lahat sinasabi talaga.
40:04They're very good kids.
40:05Anong sasabihin ni Clodin
40:07ngayon sa sarili?
40:08Laba na.
40:08Kunin mo yung dapat
40:09para sa'yo,
40:10para sa mga anak ko.
40:11Kasi sana nilustay ko
40:13na lang yung pera ko.
40:14Pero hindi.
40:15Inipon ko yun
40:15para sa kanila.
40:17So,
40:17kung bakit ngayon lang ulit,
40:19ililinaw ko lang ha,
40:20never na-dismiss
40:21yung Vauci case.
40:22Nouna,
40:22yung dati,
40:23hindi to part
40:23ng gag-order.
40:24Because this was years ago,
40:26hindi totoo na-dismiss
40:27yung Vauci case.
40:28Napakiusapan lang ako
40:29na itigil
40:30ni Raymond
40:30yung Vauci case.
40:32At naniwala ako.
40:33Five months,
40:34nag-comply siya.
40:35After that,
40:35hindi na.
40:36So,
40:36ngayon na,
40:37yung mga anak ko
40:38na-accept sa mga
40:39prestigious
40:40na mga schools
40:41abroad.
40:42Si Santino
40:43wants to go
40:43sa New York
40:44or Japan.
40:45Wow.
40:45Temple.
40:46Na-i-check niya
40:47na itong July.
40:48So,
40:48Sabina rin
40:49na-accept sa sobrang
40:50malaking ano na
40:51ilang Pilipino
40:52lang talaga
40:53ang nakaano.
40:53So,
40:54yung parang
40:54akin,
40:55ayaw mong ibayaran,
40:56ibalik mo na.
40:57Ano ayaw eh?
40:58Hindi mo sasuportahan
40:59yung mga bata
41:00sa itong
41:01mga dreams
41:02nila sa schooling nila.
41:03Kukunin ko na yung
41:04ako.
41:04Kukunin ko na yung
41:05para sa kanila.
41:05Mabaga,
41:06ano na,
41:06tinulak mo na
41:07ako masyado sa edge.
41:12Balik mo.
41:12Gusto ko i-benta yung bahay
41:14to upgrade.
41:15Ayaw mo ilagay
41:16sa pangalan ng mga bata.
41:17Gusto mo sa pangalan mo lang
41:18kasi unstable ako.
41:19Hindi ko makuha yun.
41:20Hindi ko maintindihan yun.
41:22Unstable ka?
41:23Unstable.
41:23Mentally?
41:24Mentally,
41:24emotionally,
41:25physically.
41:26Narin pa na
41:26sinasaktan ko yung mga anak
41:27ko physically.
41:28Ganyan.
41:29So,
41:29ang sakit lang
41:30kasi my kids will have
41:31to go through.
41:32Upo sila sa witness stand.
41:34Sana hindi na umabot
41:35sa ganun.
41:35Yun lang.
41:36Anyway,
41:37Claude,
41:37naniniwala ka na
41:38mahal ka pa rin
41:39ng Diyos.
41:40Sobra.
41:41Kasi,
41:42alam mo yung sorry talaga
41:43sa mga anak ko
41:44kung mapanood nila to.
41:45Dumating sa panahon
41:46na ayoko na.
41:47Kaya lang naisip ko.
41:49Ayaw mo na.
41:49Gusto mo nang tapusin
41:50yung buhay?
41:50Ayoko na.
41:51Oo.
41:51Dabo na.
41:51Ano naisip mo?
41:53Parang mapigilan ka.
41:54Biglang pumasok yung mga anak ko.
41:56Sabay-sabay-sabay.
41:57Gusto manood na Netflix.
41:58Habang tinitignan ko sila,
41:59tumunta ko sa batid.
42:01Tapos lumunod ako.
42:02Kasi saan ko,
42:02I'm not gonna take away
42:03my life, Lord.
42:04Pero pag hindi ko na kaya,
42:06pwede ikunin man ako.
42:07Kaya lang,
42:08ang worry ko,
42:09sino mang haalaga
42:10kay Sam and Singh?
42:11Definitely not si Ray Mark.
42:13Si Kea.
42:14Malamang kay Gretchen
42:15at kay Dada.
42:15Kasi mahal na mahal nila si Kea.
42:17Doon nga natutulog yun eh.
42:19Two years old pa lang siya doon.
42:20Si Noah,
42:21buntot ko.
42:22Yan ang mga nakal-child ko talaga.
42:24So,
42:24kanina siya mapupunta?
42:26So,
42:26wag mo nang isipin niya.
42:27Mula doon,
42:29hindi na.
42:29Dapat ikaw pinakamalakas?
42:30Kasis.
42:31Oo.
42:31Kasi wala silang mapupunta.
42:33At saka,
42:33gusto ko lumaki sila na
42:34makita na strong yung nanay nila.
42:36Hindi dapat pala mag-give up.
42:38And also,
42:38na-realize ko,
42:39Odj,
42:39na napaka-selfish ko naman.
42:41Kasi,
42:42ang daming Claudineans.
42:43Ang daming nagmamahal sa akin.
42:45Pati,
42:45pamilya ko.
42:46Hindi man kami magkasundo.
42:47Alam ko,
42:47may pagmamahal.
42:48Kaya,
42:49masakit ay mahal nila ako.
42:50Parang,
42:50ang selfish ko lang.
42:52Kasi,
42:52kung ginawa ko yun,
42:53kung tatapusin ko yung buhay ko,
42:55yung iba,
42:55araw-araw lumalaban
42:56para mabuhan.
42:57Oo.
42:58Yung may mga kanser,
42:59mga ano.
43:00Tapos,
43:00ikaw,
43:01binibigyan ka,
43:01you're healthy,
43:02you eat well,
43:04alam mo,
43:04you live well.
43:05I'm not as rich as I was before.
43:07Pero,
43:08nasa international school,
43:09yung mga anak ko,
43:10okay sila.
43:11Ano pa?
43:11Wala na.
43:12Ngayon,
43:12nalaban na ulit ako
43:13after how many years
43:14for my children.
43:15At sana yun ang maunawaan ng tao
43:17kung bakit kailangan kong gawin
43:19yung vowsing ulit.
43:20Thank you, Claudine.
43:22Thank you all much
43:23kasi hindi ko makakalimutan
43:25itong part na to
43:26kasi nga,
43:27at tagal ko naman
43:28gumagawa ng book
43:29pero hindi ko makakalimutan
43:30itong part na to
43:32na andito ka,
43:33pag-close ko na
43:34isang chapter,
43:35isa sa pinaka-importanteng
43:36chapter ng buhay ko
43:37at sa pag-start ko
43:38ng bagong chapter.
43:40Thank you for your time
43:41and sa mga listeners mo
43:42at sa mga fans mo
43:43na sobrang mahal na mahal ka
43:45kasi naitiwala sila sa'yo
43:46at ganun doon ako
43:47naititiwala sa'yo.
43:49Thank you, Claudine.
43:50Thank you so much.
43:50Maraming salamat sa tiwalaan.
43:52Sobra.
43:53At babangon ka pa.
43:54Babangon tayo.
44:20Thank you so much.
44:21Thank you so much.
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