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Short filmTranscript
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00:00:41What I'm tired
00:00:47Okay
00:00:51I'm sick of all the meaningless connections
00:00:54Well
00:00:58Maybe
00:01:00If you didn't fuck a new bitch every night
00:01:04You'd actually take a moment to connect
00:01:06Are you slut-shaming me right now?
00:01:11Absolutely not
00:01:12But I know you
00:01:15I'm having an existential crisis
00:01:17Clearly
00:01:19Why do I always do that?
00:01:24Do what?
00:01:25Lose myself and others
00:01:27Like I'm 22 and I still don't know what I'm doing
00:01:31I'm gonna take a guess and say it's because you're only 22
00:01:35Do you not see the difference between me and you?
00:01:40You and Rachel are in a healthy relationship
00:01:42You're committed
00:01:43You have a house
00:01:44Me
00:01:45I dated a girl who I love so much
00:01:47Then I freaked the fuck out
00:01:49Screwed it all up
00:01:50Then
00:01:51Wanted her back
00:01:52Just to be at the same spot
00:01:54Two years again later
00:01:55I look at a boutique
00:02:01That I fucking hate
00:02:02Waxing vaginas
00:02:04All day
00:02:05I think that sounds pretty sweet
00:02:09What am I doing wrong?
00:02:14Parker
00:02:14You have got to stop comparing us
00:02:18We are on two separate timelines
00:02:21We're two different people
00:02:23I mean
00:02:24We're at a weird age anyway
00:02:26I mean
00:02:26You got some people just going into college
00:02:30You got some people getting married
00:02:32They have kids
00:02:33It's gross
00:02:34I mean
00:02:35That one guy we knew from AP Bio
00:02:38I just got out of jail
00:02:39I'm thinking about her again
00:02:43No
00:02:45I am
00:02:47You have got to stop this
00:02:57Every time you get off track
00:02:59You go back to this
00:03:02Parker
00:03:02You
00:03:03You are comfortable with her
00:03:05Okay
00:03:05But you cannot keep going back to that
00:03:08Just because
00:03:09I think I just need to get out of here
00:03:12Go where?
00:03:15I don't know
00:03:16Like Nashville
00:03:17I just want something meaningful
00:03:20I guess if it keeps you from doing something idiotic
00:03:28I want to drive
00:03:31I mean we can go for a drive
00:03:34I mean I want to go somewhere
00:03:36Like
00:03:38Like road trip
00:03:39Why are you looking at me like that?
00:03:42Let's go
00:03:43Like
00:03:44Like right now?
00:03:45Like right now
00:03:46Oh my god
00:03:50All right
00:03:52Okay
00:03:53Yes
00:03:54Can we go tomorrow?
00:03:58Yeah that's fine
00:03:59Hey Jessica
00:04:07Um
00:04:08I don't think that I'm going to be able to make it into work next week
00:04:12Okay
00:04:13My grandmother got hospitalized
00:04:14She uh
00:04:18Has really bad diarrhea
00:04:21It won't stop
00:04:25And they don't know um
00:04:29Why
00:04:30Listen
00:04:32Yeah Jessica
00:04:33I gotta go
00:04:34I'm sorry
00:04:34My mom is waiting on me
00:04:36And I'll be in next week
00:04:37I promise
00:04:37You're gonna go to hell
00:04:42My grandma's been dead for like three years
00:04:45She'll appreciate the spot in Haiti though
00:04:48Okay
00:05:06Close all the curtains
00:05:15Stay on the phone
00:05:21We are the monsters
00:05:26Holding you still
00:05:32We are the gallows
00:05:38Up on the hill
00:05:42Can you pass me the gummy ones?
00:05:50There you go
00:05:53Thank you
00:05:55You know um
00:05:57When I was a kid
00:05:58And we'd go to the theater with my mom
00:06:00She'd actually always bring gummies
00:06:02To flip the popcorn
00:06:03So that's where you got it from
00:06:05We thought I had her when she wanted to do those
00:06:08Aww
00:06:09She sounds like she'd be fun
00:06:10She wasn't
00:06:13She's not really
00:06:14She's not really
00:06:16She wants to be fun
00:06:17There's no place to hide
00:06:18There's no place to hide
00:06:19There's no place to hide
00:06:20There's no place to hide
00:06:23There's no place to hide
00:06:30Parker
00:06:30I think I caught asthma
00:06:32I'm tired
00:06:32We haven't even started walking yet
00:06:35We haven't even started walking yet
00:06:38Oh, shit. Can you believe places like this just exist?
00:06:45We get to look at it with, like, our eyes.
00:06:50It makes me feel kind of small.
00:06:53But in a good way. In a good way.
00:06:56I guess that's better than, you know, like, going the other way around.
00:06:59That's how you mean.
00:07:02It don't matter.
00:07:06Alright, we're going to stick a pin in that and come back to that later.
00:07:09Joy's view.
00:07:11Yeah.
00:07:20I'm glad we did this.
00:07:22It's a good idea.
00:07:29I'm starting to think that I need this, too.
00:07:32You know?
00:07:34I don't know.
00:07:35I just feel like every day is starting to blend together.
00:07:39And it's just become so monotonous.
00:07:42And, like, am I doing something big in the grand scheme of everything?
00:07:47How could you say that?
00:07:49You and Rachel are literally perfect.
00:07:52That's interesting that you think that just because I'm in a relationship with Rachel that my life is squeaky clean and spotless.
00:08:02I just never really thought about it.
00:08:05I mean, don't get me wrong.
00:08:07Rachel's my bitch.
00:08:08I love her.
00:08:09But she doesn't define my whole existence.
00:08:14Even on our best days, I still feel like my existence is infinitesimal.
00:08:24Whoa!
00:08:25Big word.
00:08:26I know.
00:08:27It's a song.
00:08:28It's a dope-ass song.
00:08:29You should go see it.
00:08:30So, like, we're supposed to see, like, UFOs?
00:08:53Yeah.
00:08:54So, apparently, when it gets dark, this becomes, like, the darkest place in the country.
00:09:01And then, the UFOs come out.
00:09:04So, like, at nighttime?
00:09:05Yeah.
00:09:06At nighttime.
00:09:07Interesting.
00:09:08Yeah.
00:09:09So, you remember that one time me, you, and Rachel went to Canada, and then we all got lost in Toronto?
00:09:19Yeah, you would think that someone from Toronto would know their way around Toronto.
00:09:25Yeah.
00:09:26Well.
00:09:27But do you remember how when we were on the plane, and, like, all of our phones died, and so we just gave up, and then we went and got sushi?
00:09:35Dude.
00:09:36Best sashimi ever.
00:09:38I know.
00:09:40I guess I just miss doing stuff like that.
00:09:43Well, I kind of feel like that's what we're doing, you know?
00:09:46Sitting out in the woods, looking for aliens.
00:09:51Yeah.
00:09:53You do be having a point.
00:09:56Yeah, that's what we're doing.
00:09:59So, what's next?
00:10:02You know, I really haven't thought that far.
00:10:05Well, I'm just following your lead.
00:10:09I'm probably gonna need to go back to work sometime, though.
00:10:12Oh, I definitely am getting fired.
00:10:14Yeah.
00:10:15Fuck capitalism.
00:10:16I don't want to work for modern societies anyways.
00:10:17I want to live in the woods, and scavenge for berries.
00:10:22Alright.
00:10:25Well, why don't we go to Nashville?
00:10:29Really?
00:10:30Yeah.
00:10:31You brought it up.
00:10:32I mean, if we left right now, we could probably get there by the night.
00:10:37Bed.
00:10:38But wait.
00:10:39There is one more thing I want you to see.
00:10:52Halloween!
00:10:53What are you doing, nerd?
00:10:54Just journaling a little.
00:10:55Journaling?
00:10:56Mm-hmm.
00:10:57How was work?
00:10:58Oh, it's good.
00:10:59You know, it's just work.
00:11:00Oh, my dad called me on my break.
00:11:01Yeah?
00:11:02Yeah.
00:11:03Yeah, he wants to see if we want to go get dinner with him sometime this week.
00:11:04I have no pain.
00:11:05No pain?
00:11:06Good.
00:11:07I think it'll be good.
00:11:08We literally haven't seen him since.
00:11:09Can you help us with enough?
00:11:10I think it's bad.
00:11:11I think it's bad.
00:11:12It's good.
00:11:13Yeah, it's good.
00:11:14You know, it's just work.
00:11:15Oh, um, my dad called me on my break.
00:11:19You?
00:11:20Yeah, he wants to see if we want to go get dinner with him sometime this week.
00:11:24I have no pain.
00:11:25No pain?
00:11:26Good.
00:11:27I think it'll be good.
00:11:28We literally haven't seen him since.
00:11:29He helped us with enough.
00:11:30I think it's bad.
00:11:31I think it'll be good.
00:11:33We literally haven't seen him since.
00:11:35Can you help us with enough?
00:11:36I think I'll grab this to you.
00:11:39Yeah.
00:11:40You want coffee?
00:11:41Yeah.
00:11:42Be great.
00:11:46Well, you get...
00:11:49Yeah.
00:11:50Take it.
00:12:01How much?
00:12:03I didn't see that, but there he is.
00:12:17So the aliens come to Earth for this.
00:12:23Uh-huh.
00:12:25And you just put your stuff on the ground and the aliens will see it.
00:12:33Yeah.
00:12:34So, I mean, you just bring your weird, send them a little shit.
00:12:38Um, and then, uh, like, uh, the aliens beamed down and, like, appreciate it a lot.
00:12:48I don't know.
00:12:49That's what the lady at the desk said.
00:12:51So.
00:12:52And it's called an alien junkyard?
00:12:56Yeah.
00:12:57Okay, well, what are you gonna put down?
00:13:05Way ahead of you.
00:13:16You too.
00:13:18That's what you're leaving?
00:13:21Yeah.
00:13:22You don't think you should, like, leave some, like, a picture of you and Rachel?
00:13:26No.
00:13:27The aliens don't want to see a couple of normies.
00:13:29They don't want to see Aubrey Plaza in a questionable Christmas film.
00:13:35Okay.
00:13:39What are you gonna leave?
00:13:40I don't know.
00:13:41What about that?
00:13:45Oh, hell no.
00:13:46I've had this thing for, like, eight years.
00:13:49Okay.
00:13:50And that's what makes it perfect.
00:13:51It's got your human juice memories all over it.
00:13:54Leave it.
00:14:06Alright, well, the aliens better appreciate the fuck out of that.
00:14:08That thing's been the staple of my wardrobe since, like, high school.
00:14:12Hey.
00:14:13We're here to leave our old selves behind.
00:14:17We're here to find who the new us is.
00:14:20The new Parker.
00:14:21Okay, well, will you let me know when you figure that out?
00:14:25Probably not.
00:14:31What?
00:14:32You look so pretty.
00:14:35Can you help?
00:14:36Yeah.
00:14:38I'm nervous.
00:14:39Why?
00:14:40I feel like your dad hates me now.
00:14:41What?
00:14:42He's always liked you.
00:14:43He's, like, the only family you have, and I just want to know how much I love you.
00:14:45Can you trust I can make good decisions?
00:14:46But I broke your heart.
00:14:47I broke your heart.
00:14:48I broke your heart.
00:14:49I broke your heart.
00:14:50I broke your heart.
00:14:51I broke your heart.
00:14:52I broke your heart.
00:14:53I broke my heart.
00:14:54I broke my heart.
00:14:55He's like the only family you have and I just want to know how much I love you.
00:15:01Can you trust I can make good decisions?
00:15:05But I broke your heart.
00:15:09Alright, today's the day.
00:15:25So do we have anything else on the agenda other than Nashville?
00:15:29No, just wherever we end up.
00:15:32What is it without Nashville anyway?
00:15:35Oh, my parents always said that we would take a family trip there and we just never went.
00:15:39So, and it kind of stuck with me.
00:15:41Why?
00:15:43We always went on a cruise or to Disney World.
00:15:47I don't know, I guess it was just never really important to them to go to Nashville.
00:15:50But it was to you?
00:15:52Yeah, I always thought of it kind of like a magical place, you know, but in a cool rustic cowboy way.
00:15:58Plus I always wanted to get one of those cute little guitar keychains.
00:16:02Hm.
00:16:03My parents just always shit me off to my grandparents.
00:16:05And they lived in a really tiny town, so I mean, it was an adventure in its own.
00:16:09You know, just with a lot of cornfields and, you know, fast food restaurants.
00:16:14See, but I wish I had that.
00:16:17You wish you never went on a cruise?
00:16:20No, not like that.
00:16:21I mean like, I wish my parents cared more about what I wanted.
00:16:25How can I put this nicely together?
00:16:30You, my friend, need a reality check.
00:16:35What do you mean?
00:16:37So, why did you make up with Ellen? Again?
00:16:42Like in high school?
00:16:44Yeah.
00:16:45I didn't know what I wanted.
00:16:47But now, all of a sudden, you know what you want.
00:16:52I mean...
00:16:53So let me get this straight.
00:16:56You broke up with her because you didn't want to be with her.
00:16:59But then you did want to be with her.
00:17:00Then two years later, when she got upset because you didn't treat her the way you said you were going to treat her,
00:17:06now all of a sudden you went back.
00:17:09You know it's not so cut and dry.
00:17:12I'm just playing devil's advocate.
00:17:14I was 17.
00:17:16I thought I needed to drink all the time and smoke weed and just create this like tornado of emotion just to feel something, you know?
00:17:23There it is. The contradiction.
00:17:26The contradiction.
00:17:27You love to sabotage yourself.
00:17:29You have to have the main character energy and you have to have all the problems.
00:17:33That's not true.
00:17:35No, that's kind of true.
00:17:37She's important to me, Fern.
00:17:40I know she is.
00:17:41If there's ever a chance in hell that you were going to get her back, you've got to have better coping mechanisms.
00:17:48You've got to learn. You've got to grow.
00:17:50They're not going to be good for her unless they're good for you.
00:17:54No.
00:17:55No.
00:17:58You want another drink?
00:17:59I think I'm okay.
00:18:01Okay.
00:18:07You think he likes me?
00:18:28It's hard. He's never not like Peter.
00:18:31I wouldn't like me.
00:18:32Okay.
00:18:33Why do you do that?
00:18:34Do what?
00:18:35Why do you need other people's validation?
00:18:36He's your dad, Ellie.
00:18:37But I love you.
00:18:38Can that not be enough?
00:18:39Why can't you forgive yourself?
00:18:51Why can't you forgive yourself?
00:18:52Ellie. But I love you. Can that not be enough?
00:19:02Why can't you forgive yourself?
00:19:10Because I always
00:19:15love you. Good job.
00:19:22I love you.
00:19:52I love you.
00:20:16My shoes.
00:20:18I'm going to puke.
00:20:41I'm going to puke.
00:20:43Are you ready for it?
00:20:51Why do I feel like I'm about to have a pulmonary embolism?
00:20:54You know, that is how I felt the first time I ever saw Brad Velvet's music video for Psycho.
00:21:13I'd sail down, down where the blue, blue waters flow.
00:21:21Yes, this is a place I would go.
00:21:27We might get ourselves lost, but we may never be found if ever that day comes around.
00:21:36Dude, that sucked.
00:21:48I wasn't going to say anything unless you did.
00:21:52I don't know why I thought a city full of drunken tourists, vomit filled streets, and cheapo guitar
00:21:58souvenirs would be so life altering.
00:22:00It's almost like you build things up in your head to be bigger than they actually are.
00:22:09You have all these unrealistic expectations.
00:22:11I don't need a lecture.
00:22:18I just think life is about the little things, the stuff you didn't plan.
00:22:24Yeah.
00:22:25No, you're right.
00:22:28I like these fries.
00:22:31I'm going to remember these fries for the rest of my life.
00:22:39I have an idea.
00:22:42Okay.
00:22:43Follow me.
00:22:45I'm going to break into the pool.
00:23:05What?
00:23:06For the bucket list.
00:23:08I'm going to break into the pool at night.
00:23:12Okay.
00:23:13Cool.
00:23:14You should get started.
00:23:27Now.
00:23:28You know it still hurts a little bit, but not that much.
00:23:33Cause if you want somebody else, who am I to judge?
00:23:37I've been thinking about you all the time, but that's all right.
00:23:42I'm starting to get used to it.
00:23:45I think I'll survive.
00:23:47I met you in the summer.
00:23:49When you left, it was cold.
00:23:52Said we loved one another.
00:23:54Guess that we're wrong.
00:23:57I met you in the summer.
00:23:59My love was out of control.
00:24:02I've been going crazy without you.
00:24:05I'm so alone.
00:24:07I met you in the summer.
00:24:17I met you in the summer.
00:24:19Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:24:28It's kind of quiet in my room right now without you.
00:24:32And I couldn't really make you stay.
00:24:35So what to do?
00:24:38I'm just staring at my walls and talking to myself
00:24:41Now and then I'll try to laugh but I'll cry a bit as well
00:24:44I was never any good at being away from you
00:24:47I met you in the summer
00:24:49When you left it was cold
00:24:52Said we loved one another
00:24:54Guess that we were wrong
00:24:57I met you in the summer
00:24:59Our love was out of control
00:25:02I've been going crazy without you
00:25:05I'm so alone
00:25:07I met you in the summer
00:25:09I met you in the summer
00:25:37You know it still hurts a little bit
00:25:40But not that much
00:25:42Cause if you want somebody else
00:25:45Who am I to judge?
00:25:47Time to shut it down
00:26:11Time to shut it down
00:26:12Shut it down
00:26:13Shut it down
00:26:14What is...
00:26:15pay for my destinatine
00:26:16You know it still hurts a lot
00:26:16I've been asking for a littlenite
00:26:17I'm sure...
00:26:18You know it hurts a lot
00:26:19You know it
00:26:20You know it still hurts a lot
00:26:20You know it
00:26:20You could Mueller
00:26:21You know it still hurts in a lot
00:26:51I love it when you play.
00:27:09I know.
00:27:13So where'd you learn how to play?
00:27:15My dad, actually.
00:27:17Yeah, he taught me.
00:27:18But he only learned to impress my mom.
00:27:22Really?
00:27:23Mm-hmm.
00:27:23Tell me.
00:27:24I remember that.
00:27:25There's a lot you don't know about me.
00:27:27Oh, yeah?
00:27:28Yeah.
00:27:28Tell me one thing I don't know about you.
00:27:30Oh, God.
00:27:31Um, okay, when I was a kid, and I would catch fireflies, I would make wishes on them.
00:27:45Right?
00:27:45Mm-hmm.
00:27:46That's probably the cutest thing I've ever heard.
00:27:49Um, I mean, that was one good thing about my mom.
00:27:53I feel like she always had her head in the clouds.
00:27:56Mm-hmm.
00:27:58And believed that life was, like, made of magic.
00:28:02It's actually really instilled that in me.
00:28:03Yeah, but it does kind of sound like you.
00:28:07Ugh.
00:28:08I mean, yeah.
00:28:09I kind of hate it, though, because she was always wanting to live this, like, bigger-than-life
00:28:14reality.
00:28:16And one day, she just decided that me and my dad were not part of that dream anymore.
00:28:22It wasn't enough, so, yeah.
00:28:27I mean, you were just a kid.
00:28:30I don't think it's, that it had anything to do with you not being enough.
00:28:35Yeah.
00:28:36Plus, your heart is nothing like hers, anyways.
00:28:42I just don't want to hurt someone the way she hurt me, though.
00:28:47I don't want to hurt someone.
00:28:49Plus, I feel like a five-year-old wanting to play pretend all the time is probably a lot
00:28:56to handle.
00:29:11Plus, you know what?
00:29:12I don't think she's even wanting kids, anyway.
00:29:19I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:20I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:20I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:21I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:22I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:23I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:24I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:25I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:26I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:27I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:28I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:29I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:30I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:31I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:32I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:33I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:34I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:35I don't think she's even wanting kids.
00:29:36Where are we going?
00:29:55You'll see.
00:29:58Are you going to kill me?
00:30:01Allie, you're not supposed to know.
00:30:02Be quiet.
00:30:03Are you choosing a way by knife or another weapon?
00:30:07What would be more Villanelle of me?
00:30:11She'd probably have some really elaborate scheme and then corner me an alleyway in Paris or something.
00:30:17Mine would be better.
00:30:31This is sweet.
00:30:33You're sweet.
00:30:35You're sweet.
00:30:35Oh, so my friend Michaela is coming in from out of town next weekend and there's this party that I think we're going to do.
00:31:03But we went out last weekend.
00:31:08I know, but I want to go, like, out, out.
00:31:12Just going out with me, just to, like, knock out?
00:31:16You know I don't mean it like that.
00:31:19Yeah, I guess I'll just, I'll stay home alone again.
00:31:22I have found the best use of our word for the most uncomfortable situation.
00:31:50I'm going to go, like, long.
00:31:53What happened?
00:31:55Well, I'm glad you asked.
00:31:57There I am in the woods trying to take a fat piss and a fly goes right in my face.
00:32:02That's not the best part.
00:32:06Because I didn't see it.
00:32:07I fell right back into my piss.
00:32:12It's not funny.
00:32:13It's kind of funny.
00:32:14It's kind of not funny.
00:32:14It's kind of very funny.
00:32:15It's kind of funny.
00:32:45What?
00:32:50I got you something.
00:32:53What is that for?
00:32:57Just because?
00:32:57Just because?
00:32:58Ellie, I'm sorry.
00:33:15You're doing anything.
00:33:17Doing what?
00:33:18You're falling away.
00:33:21Ellie.
00:33:21No.
00:33:24It's not like that.
00:33:25You know, you promised me on New Year's that you wouldn't do this because of some confusion
00:33:30you have about yourself and what you want.
00:33:35I mean, we just, we just went on a picnic and, and to dinner with your dad.
00:33:41What, am I not allowed to have a few drinks after work?
00:33:46Leave the house?
00:33:47Am I not allowed to?
00:33:50No, you can leave the house.
00:33:51But when you came back to me, we promised that our relationship would not be like this anymore.
00:34:00That's not what's happening.
00:34:02And then what is happening?
00:34:05I don't know.
00:34:05But I don't, I don't know, I don't want to know what living in a world without you is like.
00:34:17And I, and I feel like I'm hurting you.
00:34:21It's not falling away.
00:34:23It hurts me when you do that.
00:34:25We're happy with, we're good.
00:34:27Yeah, we're good.
00:34:30We're good.
00:34:30We're good.
00:34:57Can we get a cat?
00:35:24For the sixth time?
00:35:26No.
00:35:27Because they stink.
00:35:30They're stinky.
00:35:32You want to clean the litter box?
00:35:36Hold on, oh my god, hold on, I'm so late.
00:35:39Oh, that's probably Rachel.
00:35:45It's my mom.
00:35:52You sure this is a good idea?
00:35:54Don't be a fucking pussy.
00:35:55I'm not a fucking pussy.
00:35:56I'm gonna get caught.
00:35:59There.
00:36:10I'm loose.
00:36:15I'm okay.
00:36:19I'm a bitch.
00:36:20Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
00:36:23Try it in again and then.
00:36:25Orra!
00:36:27You gotta get home.
00:36:29Go, go.
00:36:30My butt.
00:36:33Go, go, go, go.
00:36:35What are we gonna do now?
00:36:37We're out in our bathing suits.
00:36:40Wanna go to the beach?
00:36:42We're at a beach.
00:36:44Pinscola?
00:36:45Yeah.
00:36:46I got it, yeah.
00:36:49I guess, yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
00:37:19It's some kind of devotion that brings me down, that without my love for the ocean, I would be no one, no one.
00:37:43I guess, yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
00:38:13I got there and he was gone.
00:38:18Ellie, I am so sorry.
00:38:23My mom was there and she was acting like it was the end of her world.
00:38:28Like she never left.
00:38:31Like she even cared. Ever.
00:38:36I know.
00:38:38It's so complex.
00:38:40She didn't, she didn't deserve to see him. At all. I deserve to see him.
00:38:48Elle.
00:38:50Don't Elle me. She's your mom.
00:38:53I don't care.
00:38:56Elle.
00:38:59What can I do?
00:39:01Nothing.
00:39:03Elle.
00:39:05He's my dad.
00:39:08He was the only one that was ever there for me.
00:39:10He was the only one who never left.
00:39:14I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to even do now.
00:39:18I'm so sorry.
00:39:21Don't be.
00:39:22Don't be.
00:39:24Okay, but like.
00:39:26I'm here.
00:39:28Whatever you need.
00:39:35Are you?
00:39:39What does that even mean?
00:39:40I'm sorry, Parker. I just, I just don't know how to process it.
00:39:47I get it.
00:39:49Nobody should be projecting that onto you. I shouldn't be doing that. I'm sorry.
00:39:54I kind of deserve it.
00:39:57No, you don't.
00:39:59Ellie.
00:40:01Let's be honest.
00:40:03I'm not the most reliable person that's in your life.
00:40:11I feel like I wreak havoc on you, your life, your stability.
00:40:22I feel like I leave you constantly wondering when the next time I'm going to have a big breakdown.
00:40:27Big breakdown.
00:40:36This isn't about me.
00:40:38This is about you.
00:40:42You just lost your dad.
00:40:48I just can't believe he's gone.
00:40:57He was so good last time.
00:41:21He's very tall.
00:41:22He's very tall.
00:41:25We'll be back soon.
00:41:27I don't know, but I still want to miss her.
00:41:30Yeah, I feel that.
00:41:35Who do you miss?
00:41:38Your mom.
00:41:40Yeah, I bet you do miss my mom.
00:41:43No, really I do.
00:41:45You know, reiterate, let's just go back.
00:41:48Why are we here again?
00:41:50Like, on the trip?
00:41:53Yeah.
00:41:54Yeah, on this trip.
00:41:56Because we wanted to do something exciting.
00:42:03Get away.
00:42:04Something to distract ourselves from this mundane capitalist environment.
00:42:16And...
00:42:18And...
00:42:21I'm trying to get over Ellie.
00:42:23Ding, ding, ding, ding.
00:42:25We have a winner.
00:42:26One moment, please.
00:42:28One moment, please.
00:42:32Blind as a bat.
00:42:34Alright.
00:42:36So, I'm gonna role play as your therapist, Gigi.
00:42:39Not to be confused with Gigi from the L word.
00:42:41Betting Gigi forever.
00:42:43So, first question.
00:42:45Why do you think it is so hard for you to let go?
00:42:50What keeps you holding on?
00:42:53She's the love of my life.
00:42:58And why do you think that?
00:43:00Because I always go back to her.
00:43:03I mean, time and time again.
00:43:10Do you not think that maybe you're just comfortable in the environment you created with her?
00:43:16Like, do you really think that, like, out of 7 billion people in this whole world, there's not one other person that you might love?
00:43:26Not like Ellie.
00:43:31A rollercoaster of emotion is not love.
00:43:37It was love.
00:43:40It's the purest love I think I've ever experienced.
00:43:44Well, sometimes love isn't a nothing.
00:43:49Not to be healthy at least.
00:43:51Why can't I just make it fucking work?
00:43:54Like, I feel like Taylor Swift.
00:43:57I miss screaming, fighting, kissing in the rain.
00:44:00I don't want to be boring and comfortable.
00:44:02I understand that it must be really hard to even think and fathom that there might just be a life after Ellie.
00:44:16But life is bendable.
00:44:19It's changeable.
00:44:20You, we are meant to heal.
00:44:23You could finally love someone the way that you deserve to.
00:44:32I just wanted it to be her.
00:44:35I know it's her.
00:44:37She's my person.
00:44:39I hope you're right.
00:44:42I hope you're right.
00:44:47Okay, so, um, Missy just called me and I need to get to the theater hall.
00:44:52Because she doesn't fucking know how to do anything her stuff, so I have to get ready when I get there.
00:44:57So, can you just, like, you just need me there?
00:45:01Yeah.
00:45:02Go on.
00:45:04I love you.
00:45:05Mmm.
00:45:28Wow.
00:45:30I love it when Ellie drinks all my oat milk.
00:45:35It lets go.
00:45:36Oh my lord.
00:45:38Ooh.
00:45:40Ooh.
00:45:44Ooh.
00:45:47Eyewitnesses.
00:45:53Ooh.
00:45:58Ooh.
00:46:00Ooh.
00:46:02Ooh.
00:46:04Whoa.
00:46:06Fuck!
00:46:18Hello?
00:46:19Ellie?
00:46:21Yeah, what's wrong?
00:46:22My fucking tire popped. I had to pull off the side of the freeway into some random parking lot.
00:46:28What do you mean?
00:46:29I mean it's completely deflated.
00:46:32You had to go get milk?
00:46:35Yeah, I just needed the distraction.
00:46:38Have you called a tow truck?
00:46:41I can call one, but odds are it'll probably take a few hours.
00:46:45The funeral's in an hour, Parker.
00:46:47I know. I could try calling Fern, see if he can-
00:46:49I have to go. Just get here.
00:46:55Son of a bitch.
00:47:02Ellie, I am so sorry. I went to the store and milk for the coffee, and then I went straight to the funeral home.
00:47:14But then my tower popped and I called the tow truck company, but they said that they couldn't be there until 1.30, and I didn't know what else to do.
00:47:21I didn't do it on purpose.
00:47:27You missed my dad's funeral.
00:47:30I know, and I'm so sorry, but it's not my fault.
00:47:35Why didn't you think to just stay home?
00:47:44Do you ever think about what's going on around you?
00:47:48Ellie?
00:47:49This isn't your fucking world, Parker.
00:47:52Do you ever think, hey, maybe I should just stay home because Ellie's dad just died?
00:47:57My tire would have popped on the way to the funeral anyways.
00:48:00That's very convenient.
00:48:02Oh, do not pin this on me. I wanted to be there for you.
00:48:06And then you're a lot of talk.
00:48:08What the fuck is your problem?
00:48:10My problem?
00:48:12Parker, you need to figure out if I am good enough for you.
00:48:16If you ever care to give me a scrap of attention.
00:48:19All I do is give you my attention.
00:48:23All you do is worry about Parker.
00:48:26Oh, fuck that, Ellie. Would your mom do this?
00:48:34What is that?
00:48:40It's a stupid scrapbook that I made for our one year anniversary after getting back together.
00:48:52But it doesn't even fucking matter anymore now, does it?
00:48:54Because I'm so unpredictable, just like your mom.
00:48:58No, no, actually you're really predictable.
00:49:03We always end because you always live.
00:49:11Ellie.
00:49:12Yeah?
00:49:14Ellie!
00:49:20Ellie, don't go!
00:49:21I have to.
00:49:22I'm gonna go to my dad's beach house and let's go work.
00:49:27You can't leave me like this.
00:49:30You always left me like this, Parker.
00:49:33You're the love of my life.
00:49:38This isn't about us anymore.
00:49:41I need to find me.
00:49:42I need to find who Ellie is again.
00:49:44It's not you, it's me, right?
00:49:46It's you too!
00:49:48You desperately need to grow and find who you want to be and who Parker is.
00:49:54I don't think there can be an us anymore.
00:49:57I don't want to be here without you.
00:50:01I can't ruin myself for you anymore.
00:50:05And you can't either.
00:50:13I don't want you to go.
00:50:15I know.
00:50:18I'll wait for him.
00:50:22Finn.
00:50:28Finn.
00:50:30Yeah, you can be there by seven.
00:50:33I mean, you know it's gonna be late anyways.
00:50:37Turn!
00:50:41Turn!
00:50:43Yeah, you can be there by seven.
00:50:45I mean, you know it's gonna be late anyways.
00:50:46I mean, that's how it usually goes.
00:50:50Yeah.
00:50:54Parker just woke up.
00:50:55Hey, I'll see you when I see you.
00:50:58Okay, love you, bye.
00:51:01Hey, what are you doing?
00:51:03Rachel's gonna pick me up from the airport.
00:51:08What? Why? Something wrong?
00:51:13Nothing. I'm just not stupid.
00:51:16I'm confused.
00:51:20Why are we in Pensacola?
00:51:22Because we wanted to go to the beach.
00:51:27Why are we in Pensacola, Parker?
00:51:33Look, Fern, I was gonna tell you...
00:51:36Yeah, I know where Ellie lives.
00:51:39I really tried to give you the benefit of the doubt,
00:51:42but you are just the same old Parker.
00:51:49Those...
00:51:50Those weren't my intentions.
00:51:52So you didn't mean to take me on a trip that I thought was us bonding
00:51:59and having all these crazy, awesome life experiences together
00:52:03only so that you can just weasel your way in to go see Ellie.
00:52:07That's not what happened.
00:52:08That's not what happened.
00:52:14Well, I'm glad I could be a pawn in your game.
00:52:17So, cool.
00:52:18I mean, I wanted to see Ellie, but it became something more along the way.
00:52:28Halfway through, I even forgot why I started the trip.
00:52:31Parker, you are my best friend.
00:52:36But for the love of God, you are so manipulative.
00:52:41Anything you want, you get.
00:52:44Come on.
00:52:46Don't ruin the trip.
00:52:50You already ruined it.
00:52:52I'm sorry.
00:52:53I needed to see her.
00:52:55I needed to win her back.
00:52:56You are so worried about making sure everybody loves you
00:53:04that you end up treating the people who actually do love you like shit.
00:53:10I'm just confused, Fern.
00:53:13I can't do anything right.
00:53:15No one said you had to have it all figured out.
00:53:18But you just dragged everyone into your shit.
00:53:23You know what?
00:53:24You can call me when you've decided to be the Parker that I know you are.
00:53:30I won't be waiting for the call though.
00:53:54I can't do anything.
00:53:55I can't do anything.
00:53:56I can't do anything.
00:53:57I can't do anything.
00:53:59How are you doing?
00:54:00You can't do anything.
00:54:01You have to do anything with your father.
00:54:02I can't do anything with him, because you're in my car.
00:54:03I can't do anything with your father.
00:54:04No one does have to have to take care of.
00:54:06In that particular moment, my name is Files.
00:54:10I've been hanging on the road trip.
00:54:12I'm riding my house with my mother.
00:54:14I'm going to the rain and the rain and I'm going to drive up.
00:54:17Hi, Park.
00:54:24Hi.
00:54:25So, how are you?
00:54:30What are you doing in Pensacola?
00:54:35Oh, I'm good.
00:54:38I was just passing through the area.
00:54:40I figured I'd shoot you a message.
00:54:42I remember that you said that you were going to your dad's beach house in Pensacola.
00:54:46So, I thought it was worth a shot.
00:54:49Oh, yeah.
00:54:50I mean, moving here is probably one of the best decisions I've made in a while.
00:54:55I can imagine.
00:54:57Probably much better than home.
00:54:59I was home.
00:55:01Humid.
00:55:02Kind of boring.
00:55:03The usual.
00:55:05I miss it a little.
00:55:08Well, you know, if you're ever in town, you can stay with me.
00:55:13Thanks, Park.
00:55:14Yeah.
00:55:16It's probably not a good idea, but I appreciate the offer.
00:55:20Yeah, I mean, I just figured I'd at least offer.
00:55:25How's Fern?
00:55:26She's good.
00:55:27Yeah, she's good.
00:55:29Rachel?
00:55:30She's good, too.
00:55:31They actually just got engaged and then bought a house, but I'm sure you already knew about
00:55:36all that.
00:55:37I do still talk to Rachel sometimes.
00:55:39That's good.
00:55:40You guys ever talk about me?
00:55:42No.
00:55:43Definitely not.
00:55:44Oh.
00:55:45No.
00:55:46Well, I mean, that's good.
00:55:48Our ending shouldn't mean, you know, an ending for you guys, too.
00:55:51It doesn't.
00:55:52It doesn't.
00:55:53So, there's this music shop I saw over off of the pier.
00:56:00Figured if you don't have any plans later, maybe we could swing by.
00:56:05Um, I'm getting dinner with my friends tonight, actually.
00:56:10Well, I mean, that's okay.
00:56:12It was last minute anyways, but where are you guys going?
00:56:15Just this little Italian restaurant downtown.
00:56:18We go, like, every Friday.
00:56:19Yeah.
00:56:20Why am I here?
00:56:21Sorry.
00:56:22I just, I needed to see you.
00:56:37It's been years.
00:56:40What do you need to see me for this?
00:56:43I just still don't understand why things ended, you know?
00:56:46You're my person, and I can't, I just can't stop thinking about the night you left.
00:56:53I'm not your person, Park.
00:56:56Not anymore, at least.
00:56:59But you said it yourself.
00:57:01We're soulmates.
00:57:02You said soulmates have to be forever, Park.
00:57:05Because then what's the point?
00:57:07The point is that we taught each other lessons and how to love and treat someone with dignity
00:57:14and live up to your words, you know?
00:57:18I just, I know you're the person I'm going to end up with.
00:57:27Maybe in another universe we work together forever, but I just don't think we're living in that universe anymore.
00:57:37Why is it so hard for me to get over you, but for you it's so easy?
00:57:44It wasn't easy.
00:57:46I spent months mourning you and I and the person I was when I was with you.
00:57:53And trying to figure out how I was going to live life without you in it.
00:57:57And I lost my best friend.
00:58:00And, you know, part of me hoped that we would cross paths again and just fall into each other's arms and everything would be like it used to.
00:58:09But that's just not life.
00:58:12Who said?
00:58:13Parker.
00:58:15Why can't we just have, like, a fairytale ending where we always end up together?
00:58:20Because this isn't a movie, you know?
00:58:23We're real people.
00:58:24This is real life.
00:58:25And I just don't think we can exist together without hurting each other over and over and over again.
00:58:34God, I must sound insane.
00:58:37No.
00:58:38I just don't think you take it well when things don't go your way.
00:58:47I love you.
00:58:52I think I should go.
00:58:54I'm sorry.
00:58:57No, it's fine.
00:58:58I just, you know, I wish you the best, Parker.
00:59:01I always do.
00:59:02I always do.
00:59:03I always do.
00:59:12I'm sorry.
00:59:14Please, don't leave.
00:59:15Parker, it's time to move on.
00:59:17You have a whole life ahead of you that does not involve me.
00:59:21A life that's beautiful and flawless.
00:59:22You and I were a mess of memories.
00:59:23And I cherish all of them.
00:59:24But you will always be one of my favorite loves, okay?
00:59:38I'm sorry.
00:59:39It doesn't change anything.
00:59:40I'm sorry.
00:59:41It doesn't change anything.
00:59:44I'm sorry.
00:59:45It doesn't change anything.
00:59:46I'm sorry.
00:59:47It doesn't change anything.
00:59:48I'm sorry.
00:59:49It doesn't change anything.
01:00:18It doesn't change anything.
01:00:34This is for you, partner.
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