- 5 days ago
- #subtitrareromana
Pe măsură ce se acomodează în noua ei viață de 26 de ani, Liza are sarcina de a promova un scriitor mai în vârstă către un public mai tânăr.
Deși are o întâlnire perfectă cu Josh, încearcă să se convingă să caute pe cineva mai potrivit vârstei sale.
#SubtitrareRomana
Deși are o întâlnire perfectă cu Josh, încearcă să se convingă să caute pe cineva mai potrivit vârstei sale.
#SubtitrareRomana
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00You lost your virginity in your parents' basement while watching The Notebook?
00:11At least it's romantic.
00:12Chick flick.
00:13And what's the connection between 9-11 and first hand job?
00:17Both happened while I was on the bus to middle school.
00:19That was a busy bus.
00:20And while you were giving birth to Caitlin?
00:22Younger Liza was going to her first concert, Spice Girls, Asbury Park.
00:25I dressed as sporty, though right now I feel scary.
00:27Do not let fear get in.
00:29You're doing this.
00:30And you're staying with me so I can live vicariously.
00:32I'm nothing but a lab rat to you.
00:34A hot lab rat with a fancy new job.
00:36Hey!
00:37It was ready to go off the grid!
00:42Aww, look how cute Caitlin was then.
00:44Look at you and David, you actually look happy there.
00:47We were on vacation together in the Bahamas where I later discovered he gambled away Caitlin's college fund.
00:51Memories.
00:52Are you sure about this?
00:53Because when I erase your internet presence, you're gone forever.
00:55I have to do it.
00:56I can't have the people I work with finding my life online.
00:58I don't need the details.
00:59Wait, wait, wait.
01:00I'm getting a message.
01:01Don't worry.
01:02That bitch will never find you again.
01:05That bitch was my daughter.
01:06Honey, hey, I got your message.
01:07Is everything okay?
01:08Mom?
01:09I don't want to come home.
01:10I want to finish out the school year in India.
01:11Sure.
01:12I don't want you to stay if you're unhappy.
01:13No, I'm not unhappy.
01:14In fact, I'm very happy.
01:15I met someone.
01:16His name is Arjun.
01:17And he's beautiful.
01:18His lips are like pillows.
01:19That's great honey and very descriptive.
01:20Is he in class with you?
01:21Of course he's in class with me.
01:22He's this pre-med genius.
01:23And he wants to take me to Goa this weekend.
01:25Honey, I'm glad you're staying, but I don't want you going to Goa with a pillow-lipped genius.
01:29Mom, how can you make decisions for me in the suburbs of New Jersey?
01:33Katelyn, I love you, and I am very glad you met a boy that you like.
01:34Listen to me carefully.
01:35Do not go to Goa.
01:36I'll go to Goa.
01:37In fact, I would love to go to Goa with you.
01:38Honey, you're breaking up.
01:39We will talk about this later.
01:40Okay.
01:41to go with the pillow lip genius mom how can you make decisions for me from the suburbs of new
01:45jersey caitlin i love you and i am very glad you met a boy that you like listen to me carefully do
01:52not go to goa i'll go to goa in fact i would love to go to go with you uh honey uh you're
01:59breaking up we will we will talk about this later okay excuse me sir are you stalking me actually i
02:07thought you were stalking me i mean it's my studio that you just happen to be loitering in front of
02:11so we're neighbors i bet that's probably why we met at the bar around the corner so neighbor what's
02:18going on you got any plans tonight you want to take a stroll a stroll yeah through the berg i'll
02:25show you all the sites i would so love to take a stroll with you but right now i am very late for
02:30this job that i can't be late for how's eight o'clock that's perfect good day sir oh my god what am i doing
02:50you're telling me this now one week before the book comes out no no we'll deal with it what choice
03:00do we have that is just effing perfect joyce carol oates writes the best book of her career
03:06and sue grafton moves the release of her new mystery to the same date she can't hold a candle to joyce
03:12carol oates actually wrote a paper about her in college joyce carol oates and the riddling nature of
03:16female desire well that sounds like a riveting marketing plan to me well how are the reviews
03:21i bet they're amazing oh and do you think reviews sell books no your generation has absolutely
03:26destroyed all pretense of critical relevance what about michiko kakutani from the new york times the
03:30only way a good review by michiko kakutani could sell books is if her twerking ass caught fire jco
03:36deserves a number one debut we need to sell her to a younger audience to to your fetus peers got it
03:43figure this out that's why you're here uh yes of course
03:58what's that anton bjornberg the hottest writer to hit sweden since steeg larson and better yet
04:04he's alive i never heard of him nobody has the book just got translated and he's in town meeting
04:10every editor at every publishing house this week i've got to finish reading this thing by tonight
04:14well can i take a look oh you can keep this copy i've got a pdf on both my ipads and my kindle
04:19do you want one for yours no this works hey what are you doing for lunch possibly being eaten by diana
04:24why i'm supposed to meet lauren and i could really use your help keeping her entertained while i read
04:29this thing sure oh yes yes back in an hour and think about us okay hector and dorf made the most insane
04:44video for the new underwear line first you think you're looking at a giant furry penis and then
04:49it suddenly stands up and you realize it is actually a golden retriever a bee so many of your stories
04:55involve penises it's totally gone viral oh well is there like an app for that silly no hector and
05:01dorf are avant-garde fashion visionaries and we planned it that way are you really just going to
05:07sit here and read your swedish book yeah i would love to see that video yeah no no i'll send it to
05:12you with uh uh with some of our new moisturizer you're developing crow's feet that that is very unusual
05:17for women our age yeah i know i know we have this uh premature eye wrinkle thing on my mother's side
05:23and i spent way too much time on the beaches in goa uh what you doing there cover yourself woman we
05:32are not a burning man what it's perfectly legal to be topless in new york plus it's topless tuesday
05:36on twitter okay i need to tweet well you're putting that online hell yeah hashtag topless tuesday
05:40hashtag lunch with the girls and i don't think she means us listen okay i am empowering women breasts
05:46aren't shameful hey ask rihanna lauren you are doing this for the attention no no no i need to feed
05:51the beast i've got over 35 000 followers and climbing hi hey like me on instagram and twitter
05:56i'm lauren hector dorf remind me never to have lunch with you on tuesday i guess
06:04i do not believe this lauren's boobs are trending on twitter no way trending that's good right she is
06:10like the kim kardashian of fashion publicists i swear lunch with the girls is trending too just since lunch
06:16how
06:23okay i have a crazy idea there are no crazy ideas only bad ones do you really want to pitch me a bad
06:27idea you want to get joyce carol oates attention and social media move the release of her book to
06:33tuesday why would we do that topless tuesday excuse me topless tuesday it's a huge deal women post topless
06:41selfies on twitter to support female empowerment we could run a viral campaign with her fans on social media
06:48hashtag show us your oats
06:54rihanna posts topless selfies all the time and has like 35 million followers
06:58just another 35 million nails in our cultural coffin
07:05bring me a fresh bar of 70 dark chocolate
07:09and get me joyce carol oates's agent on the phone
07:11i grew up in this small little town in west virginia they basically filmed winter's bone in my backyard
07:28no way wait yeah i'm a total hillbilly who just could not wait to get out of there so after high
07:36school i bombed around the world for a couple years i was in europe i was in asia so finally i
07:43i started apprenticing for this guy in tokyo who was like this master tattoo artist
07:49i love that story that's why i totally dig that you lived in india for all those years
07:55well yeah yeah living in the third world country it really changes your perspective i miss it so much
08:00oh this is amazing you have to see this
08:08look at this guy beyond the sea
08:11he just he just drives around the city just singing my lover stands on gold he's terrible
08:19i know
08:26meatballs what best meatballs in brooklyn just stay right here i will be
08:30right back
08:35oh my god michelle tom oh where have you been you moved and you disappeared from facebook
08:43i have been so worried about you oh i've been staying with my friend maggie she lives nearby
08:49the lesbian artist you could have stayed with me what are you guys doing here oh every month we come
08:54to brooklyn to try out a hot new restaurant oh well by hot she means overpriced you know
09:00we should introduce liza to richard richard is an absolute catch also recently divorced promise me
09:07i'll call i swear oh oh liza so good to see you oh don't be a stranger
09:14okay okay it's straight ahead it's straight ahead to the left can't miss it who's that oh yeah it's
09:24just some older woman looking for directions for the subway and she kissed you yeah she was very
09:30french
09:35oh
09:36oh
09:37oh
09:37oh my god
09:40oh my god
09:44Babe, I can't.
09:50I have to finish reading this book.
09:52Why are you staying over if you just want to read?
09:54Good air conditioning and better sheets.
09:58What, I can only stay here if I have sex with you?
10:00No, babe.
10:01It's just been three whole days.
10:03Okay, well, why don't you read something for once?
10:06A copy of The Goldfinch has been on your nightstand for over a year.
10:14In 400 pages, okay?
10:21I promise.
10:34Okay, so this is where you live.
10:36Yep, with my roommate, Maggie.
10:38She's a really awesome artist, multidisciplinary.
10:41So I might describe her work as really...
10:44One more thing you should know about me.
10:58I'm all about work right now.
11:00So no time, really, for personal life.
11:04Didn't like the kiss, huh?
11:05Of course not.
11:06No, God, no.
11:07I love the kiss.
11:08It was superb.
11:09You're an excellent kisser.
11:10Best kiss I've had in years.
11:11Seriously.
11:12I mean it.
11:13But I...
11:14The work thing.
11:19I got it.
11:22I will try and keep my distance, neighbor.
11:25Okay.
11:27Every time you walk to the room, you bring a joy with you.
11:31A certain pace that's hard to find.
11:35I never knew someone like you who sees me clear as sky is blue.
11:47Morning.
11:48Hey.
11:49How was your date with Josh last night?
11:51It wasn't a date.
11:53It was more of a neighborly tour.
11:56That kiss was very neighborly.
11:58You saw that?
11:59Huh.
11:59I felt that.
12:00And I was two floors up.
12:02Yeah.
12:03I don't need any more trouble in my life right now.
12:05Well, one woman's trouble is another woman's fantasy.
12:08My fantasy is restarting my career.
12:10Not macking on some sweet kid who would take tattoo needles to his eyes if he knew how old I was.
12:14That kiss was hot, though.
12:16It was so hot.
12:17And it's never going to happen again.
12:21Ever.
12:31Liza!
12:33I finally finished that book.
12:35Did you read it?
12:35I'm so sorry.
12:36I didn't.
12:36I had kind of a date with Josh last night.
12:38Oh, that hottie you met at the bar?
12:40Yeah.
12:41At least one of us is having fun.
12:43Dad masturbated next to me all night, but I did not let him break my concentration.
12:47Wow, I wish I had your focus.
12:49How was the book?
12:50You know, the translation is a little stilted, but he is amazing.
12:54The book is about his life, but he makes every detail feel universal.
12:58I'll finish it tonight.
13:00If I can sign this guy, it will change everything for me.
13:11Where have you been?
13:11I've been emailing you all morning.
13:13I'm sorry.
13:13It's 8 a.m.
13:14I didn't realize all morning it started yet.
13:15We have a photo shoot.
13:17Show us your oats.
13:19Seriously?
13:20I'm always serious.
13:21Haven't you figured it out by now?
13:34So, are we going to get to meet Joyce today?
13:36No.
13:38Not today.
13:39Sorry.
13:40Michelle.
13:44Michelle.
13:44Liza.
13:45Guess who saw your picture and really wants to go on a date with you?
13:48Tom's very available friend, Richard.
13:51Wow.
13:51That's very nice, but I don't think I want to...
13:53Oh, Liza.
13:54Honey, listen to me.
13:55What happened with you and David is terrible and losing that beautiful house.
14:01But you need to take a chance and I can vouch for this man.
14:04Recently divorced, very good looking, owns his own business.
14:08Wow.
14:08Honey, this is good for you.
14:10Just say yes.
14:11Okay, okay, okay.
14:12Just give him my number.
14:14Fabulous.
14:14Okay.
14:18Wonderful.
14:19This is all very empowering.
14:28This one.
14:29More banner, less boob.
14:30Okay.
14:31Now post it to Twitter.
14:33God help us.
14:48Word on the street, Jornberg's signing with Knopf.
14:53His agent wouldn't even let him take the meeting.
14:55Well, then you have to find a way to meet him.
14:57What do you mean, like stalk the guy?
14:58No, I mean don't let someone else's rules get in the way of working with a writer you're passionate about.
15:03You are wise.
15:05I'm on Twitter and nothing is Twittering.
15:10You forgot the hashtag.
15:12Right.
15:13Hashtag.
15:18Liza, get in here.
15:23Look at this.
15:25Look at this.
15:27Show us your oats is trending.
15:29Joyce Carol Oates fans from around the world are freeing the nipple in solidarity.
15:33And maybe, just maybe, they won't even buy one of her books.
15:37Oh, my God.
15:42I don't believe this.
15:43I know.
15:44We've gone global.
15:45Excuse me.
15:46I have a small Twitter emergency.
15:48Oh, my God.
16:16You are turning back into a pumpkin.
16:18Really?
16:18Way to make a girl feel good before a blind date.
16:20No, I'm kidding.
16:22You look pretty.
16:22Very ladylike.
16:25Ladylike?
16:25I'm not sure that's a compliment.
16:26Oh, 100%.
16:27I like ladies.
16:28It does feel nice to be wearing my own clothes.
16:30Some of those hipster thrift store finds smell like weed.
16:33Oh, God's in the details.
16:35Anyway, it's great to see the old lies about.
16:37Well, this old girl is about to go on a date with an appropriate aged fellow whose references
16:41I might actually comprehend.
16:43Where's he taking you?
16:44Roberto's.
16:45This really nice Italian place in Paramus.
16:47Oh.
16:49All right.
16:49Don't give me that look.
16:50I'm excited about this.
16:51No, I'm excited for you.
16:53Are you?
16:54Honey, you're my friend.
16:56I want what you want.
16:57The crazy thing is, my life just got interesting, and I can't even talk about it.
17:11Nobody thought that healthy food and Mexican food could go together, but I was a believer
17:15from the beginning.
17:16And let me tell you, Chipotle has been very good to me.
17:20That's wonderful.
17:21And my ex-wife.
17:23She still participates in the upside.
17:26Believe me.
17:28Mmm.
17:29How was your fish?
17:31It was very good.
17:33Mmm.
17:34It's hard for me to eat out with everything I know about the food business.
17:37Sometimes too much information is not a good thing.
17:39You know, when Michelle told me that you were 40, I thought, whoa, if I wanted to be with
17:46a 40-year-old woman, I would have stayed married.
17:48Yeah.
17:50Sorry, that's a very, that's a bad, that's a bad joke.
17:52You're very cute.
17:55Now, you ask me a question.
17:56Excuse me?
17:58Go ahead.
17:59Ask anything.
17:59I know these blind dates can be awkward.
18:02How long have you been divorced?
18:04Two years since it's been final, but it hasn't been good for years.
18:08Honestly, we stuck it out for the kids, who couldn't have cared less.
18:12What about you?
18:15It really hasn't been that long.
18:17We've been separated about a year.
18:19We actually haven't signed the divorce papers yet because we can't afford the lawyers.
18:23We're actually too broke to get divorced.
18:25How's that for comedy?
18:26Or tragedy.
18:27Take your pick.
18:27I'm sorry.
18:28There's just this one email I have to respond to.
18:32No problem.
18:47Can I get anybody dessert?
18:49Oh, I'm done.
18:49Yeah, me too.
19:09Hey, nut.
19:10Anything for someone?
19:11Oh, I'm done.
19:18Sorry.
19:20I just really needed to do that.
19:23Okay.
19:24I'll see you around the burg.
19:26Wait, that's it?
19:28For now.
19:29Bye-bye.
19:53See you around.
19:58Bye-bye.
19:58Bye-bye.
19:59Bye-bye.
19:59Bye-bye.
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