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00:00A world where shiplap means serenity
00:03and subway tiles sparkle with timeless taste.
00:06Yeah, this isn't that world.
00:09Whoa!
00:10One woman will stop at nothing.
00:13Hurrah.
00:15Hey, that's me.
00:16To track down the ugliest houses across America.
00:20Who goes there?
00:21Oh.
00:23She'll journey farther than ever before.
00:27You mean like North Dakota?
00:28Yes, North Dakota.
00:30She'll come face to face with design disasters.
00:34Ho, ho, ho!
00:38Is this the height of the chandelier?
00:40And it's got luchy.
00:41And decode the dysfunctional.
00:44Ha, ha, live, laugh, love.
00:46Not for the animals.
00:48So far, she's conquered the worst of the Great Plains.
00:52He didn't want to give us a mirror at the sink.
00:55Just everywhere else.
00:58Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:59And now, she'll take on the Midwest.
01:04And the ugly will have nowhere to hide.
01:08No!
01:09I'm getting too old for this.
01:14The Midwest, a region rife with farmlands and quaint towns
01:19and plenty of ugly houses.
01:21But now, just like that VL guy said,
01:24I'm going deeper, to North Dakota, to a town called Mandan.
01:32Mandan, North Dakota, or as the locals like to call it,
01:36where the West begins.
01:38And looking around, I got it.
01:44I'm here to meet Miriam and see if our first trip to North Dakota
01:49leads me to the ugliest house in America.
01:56I will say, it's different.
02:03Well, hello, Rhett.
02:05Hi, Miriam.
02:05How are you?
02:06I'm good, and you?
02:07Not bad.
02:09Let's go talk about this house.
02:11Well, that's common in North Dakota.
02:12Yeah?
02:13What is this design called?
02:16Castle on the Prairie.
02:17Castle on the Prairie.
02:18The Prairie, yep.
02:19I'm Miriam, and I live in the castle house in Mandan, North Dakota.
02:23I love turrets.
02:25It had a turret.
02:26It was stucco.
02:27That's unusual for North Dakota.
02:29It had a tile roof, which looked a lot like my house in Arizona that I had to sell.
02:34We came and looked at the house.
02:35I loved it.
02:36My husband, not so much.
02:38And then he finally said, every princess needs a castle.
02:47She fell in love.
02:48She couldn't not have it.
02:49Honestly, this house has so many themes that it was tough to figure out what to look at first.
02:55You have to see it to believe it.
02:57And it's a house nobody else will ever have.
03:01Okay, let's go check out its side.
03:02Okay, that sounds good.
03:07Miriam, you have a white rug as your entry rug.
03:12I do.
03:12I feel like you're looking for trouble.
03:14That's what my kids say.
03:15But it's washable.
03:16In here, I'm seeing things.
03:20That wall is impressive.
03:23Wow.
03:24You want a pen for gold?
03:26What is it?
03:27Fool's gold?
03:27Gold's gold from South Dakota.
03:28Because you think it's gold and it ain't?
03:30It's just shiny?
03:31Yeah.
03:32It's a lot of rock.
03:33I mean, that wall is an attention hog.
03:37Look at me.
03:38Look at me.
03:38Look at me.
03:39I'm here.
03:40Hey, you guys.
03:40Did you see me?
03:41Yeah, we saw you.
03:42We saw you.
03:43You are not discreet.
03:45Would you like to see upstairs?
03:48I would.
03:50All righty.
03:50I feel like that's why I'm here.
03:52All righty.
03:53These are the Scarlett O'Hara steps.
03:54They are.
03:57A little vertigo, though.
04:03When you look in the living room from upstairs, you have to go.
04:14Let's go into the library.
04:15Can I tell you what this carpet looks like?
04:20Somebody threw up.
04:22Somebody threw up pretty troubles.
04:24Yeah.
04:25What is this wallpaper?
04:27I don't know, but that's original.
04:30I'm guessing.
04:31So you want to see the most amazing room?
04:34Oh, gosh.
04:34I sure do.
04:35Go ahead, Retta.
04:35Okay.
04:36Open the door.
04:36What?
04:37I know.
04:37I know.
04:37I know.
04:37I mean, it's a vibe.
04:51What is that?
04:52Well, it's a great soaker tub, but I'll tell you what.
04:55For you, because you're a shouty.
04:59For me, my knees will be up to here.
05:03Oh, my.
05:04If you get a view from those mirrors, you can see every anatomy part you could possibly imagine.
05:10I don't know whether to be mortified or impressed.
05:14Where to next?
05:15We'll go back downstairs to the kitchen.
05:18The lamppost in the kitchen, below lights.
05:28Why?
05:29I think it went with this.
05:32Uh, yeah, I guess so.
05:35Let's go downstairs.
05:36Round the corner.
05:37And they're very narrow steps.
05:40It's a labyrinth.
05:45Oh, I feel something.
05:46Yeah.
05:47It feels different, right?
05:48It has a little give to it.
05:50It's a shooting pit.
05:51Oh, there's wood.
05:52He had a rifle range down here.
05:54This is the pit they would start setting up in, and it's quite large.
06:00Wait.
06:02So he would shoot through that door?
06:04Yes.
06:05There's nothing but land out here.
06:11This is a very interesting home.
06:14And as you may know, you are one of three semifinalists in the Midwest region.
06:18And this is our first time in North Dakota.
06:19Well, glad it's at my house.
06:21I'm going to say thank you, and I'm going to make my way out.
06:26So this is the range in the home on the range.
06:37This house looks like a European mixtape.
06:41It's got influences from Spain, Italy, France, and from North Dakota.
06:48What's more awkward than a small soaking tub where you're surrounded by mirrors at all angles?
06:54Oh, that's the surprise.
06:56Why do you need a shooting range in the basement when you have a backyard that takes up half the state of North Dakota?
07:04The Midwest is a straight shot to ugly.
07:09With Mandan in the rear view, I venture east.
07:12840 long miles east to the Midwest's biggest metropolis, Chi-town, baby.
07:24I'm here meeting Joe and Ricky to see how a home can so boldly stand out in a city literally built by architectural legends.
07:37And I see why.
07:44It is standing out.
07:52I feel like I go with this house.
07:57Oh!
08:00Hello!
08:01How's it going?
08:02Joe and Ricky!
08:03Yes, welcome to our home.
08:04Let's talk about this house.
08:05Subtle, right?
08:06Your house is...
08:07Yeah.
08:07Sure.
08:08Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
08:09I almost missed it.
08:11Hi, I'm Ricky.
08:12This is my husband, Joe.
08:13We live in a 150-year-old Victorian house in Rogers Park, Chicago.
08:17This house had been listed, and we had joked about it.
08:19And I was like, why don't we go check it out?
08:21Just like, oh, for funsies.
08:22By the time we finished the tour, he was convinced, and he was like, yeah, we're putting in an offer.
08:28This house is...
08:29It's a staple for the neighborhood.
08:31This neighborhood is known for being eclectic, being an artsy neighborhood.
08:34So I know they want to pay homage to that.
08:36Does it need to be everywhere in the house?
08:39That, I don't think so.
08:41We do love the outside, but the inside's pretty rough.
08:45Well, let's check it out.
08:46Yeah, let's do it.
08:47Whoa, the colors are inside.
08:50Oh, yeah, everywhere.
08:51That color is called Clambisque.
08:53And Smoker's Yellow and Hospital Green.
08:55Yeah.
08:56Smoker's Yellow.
08:57Yeah.
08:57I mean, right?
08:59And if you look hard, there's glitter.
09:01I don't have to look that hard.
09:03Every surface.
09:04I'm afraid to touch anything, because glitter's for life.
09:07I hate glitter.
09:09You're just always like...
09:14Did you get it?
09:18Well, the previous owners were two artists.
09:20They used, like, every inch of the property as art installations.
09:23And a lot of her art was the art of decay.
09:26So she used materials that decayed naturally.
09:28Well, that floor, I can see.
09:31The pink and blue tiles.
09:33Yeah, on top of the other linoleum.
09:37There's hardwood floor underneath that.
09:39It's like an onion, you know?
09:41Okay, where else?
09:42The stairs, for some reason, just really extend.
09:45It's a landing.
09:46It's almost like a stage.
09:48Yeah.
09:48There you go.
09:49We feel like there used to be a banister here.
09:52You should put a little curtain.
09:57I keep touching the wall...
09:58I keep touching stuff and then being like,
10:00Did I get glitter on me yet?
10:01You're good. It's fine.
10:02How about now?
10:05Headed upstairs?
10:06I think so, yeah.
10:07Let's go check out upstairs.
10:08Pink, green, yellow.
10:12These circular windows.
10:14She likes cruise ships, I think.
10:15And so she had those installed.
10:17There's eight of them in the house, I think.
10:21We can check out the guest room.
10:23What was on the floor that they couldn't move it to paint that spot?
10:28I actually think that they had a waterbed.
10:31So if you have a waterbed, you have to either drain it or move it somehow.
10:34So it just makes sense to just paint around it.
10:36That wall.
10:37Is this a design choice?
10:37Nothing.
10:38No.
10:39No, it was just peeling.
10:40And then the wallpaper showed up behind it.
10:42She was like,
10:42Oh, yeah, for sure.
10:45This isn't my jam.
10:46I don't know what it is.
10:47For sure.
10:48Where else up here are we going to look at?
10:50The primary bathroom, right?
10:52Yeah, let's go check it up.
10:56Doing too much.
10:58Textured walls.
10:59I think they got the pink in.
11:01Oh, my God.
11:02The tub.
11:03Stop it.
11:04In the listing photos, it looked like it was filled with water the whole time.
11:09This place is where colors come to die.
11:13My outfit walked in.
11:14It was like, ooh, old heads.
11:16Grandma!
11:20Ooh, I just got lightheaded.
11:21Ooh, I was just passed out.
11:24I think this is the most stressful room for me.
11:27There's more to be seen.
11:28Yeah.
11:28Okay.
11:29Let's go sit.
11:30We're at the top of the ship.
11:37Yeah.
11:37This is the primary bedroom.
11:39This is the reason that we bought it,
11:40because there had to be one room where we could just go hide.
11:44I'm dead at your bathroom.
11:46Your en suite.
11:47It's an open concept.
11:48You think?
11:50I know couples do their business in front of one another,
11:53but that's a bit much.
11:57Thank you for showing me your home.
11:59I'm going to make my way back downstairs.
12:01There's no givesy-backsies on the glitter.
12:04Oh, I know.
12:04That's all I'm saying with you.
12:06That's a gift to you.
12:12Potpourri of pastels.
12:14It looks like a crafty home.
12:17Whenever the previous owner wanted to change something,
12:19they didn't remove a thing.
12:21It's nothing but layers.
12:23Layers on layers on layers.
12:24In terms of awkward features, this house has plenty of them.
12:29But the glitter takes the cake.
12:31Every time I took something, I was, like, looking at my hands,
12:33because I thought there'd be glitter on it.
12:35The surprise was that bathroom right in the bedroom.
12:39Not a wall.
12:40Not a door.
12:41Not a curtain.
12:42Nothing.
12:43Midwest.
12:47Pretty bright future and ugly.
12:48And onwards we go.
12:52Across state lines where I find myself in Indiana's very own Chicago?
12:59What?
13:00Welcome to East Chicago, Indiana.
13:05Not quite Chicago.
13:08Definitely not Illinois.
13:10Among these brick houses is my next stop on my quest to find the ugliest house in America.
13:17The owners, Chyna and Leandre, say they have something special.
13:21I say, we'll see.
13:24I mean, we're coming up on our hundredth ugliest house.
13:26And at this point, I've seen some things.
13:33Yeah, we're going to have to see what's inside, because not a lot happening.
13:36We're going to have to see what's inside, because we're going to have to see what's inside.
13:40Hello.
13:41How are you?
13:42Hi, how are you doing?
13:44How are you?
13:45Nice to meet you.
13:46Chyna and Leandre.
13:48Yes.
13:48Yes, ma'am.
13:49I'm here to see your house.
13:50Well, come on in.
13:51Walk right on in.
13:52Right.
13:59The entryway is lovely and inviting.
14:01Yeah, this is just the beginning.
14:03Noted.
14:04So we have the living room this way.
14:06Yes, this is our living room.
14:08Let's check out the living room.
14:10Yes.
14:17There's nothing to note.
14:19It's just, eh, you know, give me something.
14:24We're here for ugliest house, so good luck.
14:27My name is Chyna.
14:37This is Leandre, and we live in the ugliest house in America, in East Chicago, Indiana.
14:41And I came across this home at 4 a.m.
14:44I was at work.
14:45I was like, I have to have this.
14:46So I called him.
14:48He was asleep.
14:49She's like, we are going to go look at this house first thing in the morning.
14:53And once I stepped in, I fell in love with it.
14:56It wows you.
14:57It's just very unique.
14:59On one side, it's very normal.
15:02Then you cross over into this addition.
15:04It's mostly marble.
15:08There's a lot of different patterns and textures.
15:10All we need is a disco ball, and we can party all night long.
15:15Okay.
15:15We need to get to the ugly.
15:18Our next door will be straight through this door.
15:20Okay.
15:28Spacious, Mike.
15:29Spacious kitchen.
15:30And spacious dining room.
15:32This is your dining room?
15:38Yes.
15:38Yes, ma'am.
15:39Yes.
15:39The original owner, he owns a well-known restaurant in East Chicago.
15:44So he decorated to mimic the restaurant.
15:49The table weighs a literal ton.
15:50It's embedded in the floor.
15:52So we cannot move the table even if we wanted to.
15:55Hold on a second.
15:56Yeah, it weighs a ton.
16:04What is this about?
16:05We don't know.
16:06I think we wanted the gray-black theme, and then we're like, you know what?
16:11Let's splash the color, but only on the ceiling.
16:14And then our back door looks like our front door.
16:17You know, the vibes are definitely off.
16:20Is this supposed to be a bar?
16:21Mini bar.
16:22Yeah, this is our mini bar.
16:24And that over there.
16:27I mean, clearly.
16:27This is like someone's fancy grandma's house.
16:33It's what some might call extra.
16:37If you think this is extra, wait till you get upstairs.
16:40I'm so distressed.
16:56It's a lot coming at you.
16:58At once.
16:59At once.
17:03The columns match the floors.
17:06You have wallpaper.
17:07You have tiles.
17:08You have mirrors.
17:09That's another front door.
17:12Yes.
17:12Yes.
17:13So it's that one as well.
17:15That front door.
17:15That front door.
17:18Why so many front doors?
17:19Why so many ornate front doors with locks?
17:25Oh my goodness.
17:27It is extra.
17:30Extra grandma.
17:31Extra grandma.
17:33And then you step up to the bedroom.
17:35Yes.
17:36More mirrors.
17:36More mirrors.
17:37The bed is embedded in a civil war.
17:40Yeah.
17:41Another thing that stuck, we don't know.
17:45Yes.
17:45It reminds me of a Catholic church.
17:48Well, like a disco Catholic church.
17:50Yes.
17:51Like a Catholic church.
17:54We're going to get it.
17:54Next, we're going to the bathroom.
18:06Extra grandma.
18:08How much did it cost to fill this tub?
18:10Too much.
18:11Yes.
18:11It takes a long time.
18:12Yeah.
18:13It's very dangerous to get out of, too.
18:15Yeah.
18:16You got a trip to come in the bathroom.
18:18You got a trip to go to the bathroom.
18:19Trip to get into the shower.
18:21Is there a light in there, at least?
18:22No.
18:22No.
18:23So you're just trapped in there.
18:25Yes.
18:25Mm-hmm.
18:26I absolutely want it gone.
18:28Every bit of it.
18:29They can keep the toilet.
18:31Thank you for showing me your home.
18:33Thank you for coming.
18:34All I can think about is how much money was spent for you to be like, we got to get rid of
18:40this.
18:41It's a market for these things.
18:43It's a market for anything.
18:44I'm going to look at all the things we can sell.
18:50It's always nice to spend time at grandma's marble mansion.
18:55It looked like someone was trying to cram as much tile, marble, and stained glass into
19:01a house as possible.
19:03Awkwardness.
19:04There's too many places where I could crack my knee.
19:08Just a drop of water, and that's it.
19:10The surprise is, every door is an elaborate front door.
19:14Oh, the Midwest.
19:16It's a lot.
19:18And just like that, the Midwest has three breathtakingly ugly contenders.
19:24But only one house can move on to the finals for a chance at that life-changing home renovation.
19:29The Midwest took us from the plains of North Dakota to the city streets of Chicago, showing
19:38ugly truly knows no bounds and delivering three worthy contenders vying for their region's
19:44ugliest.
19:46It's between a castle-like house with a foolish amount of fool's gold.
19:50That wall is an attention hog.
19:53Hey, you guys, did you see me?
19:54Yeah, we saw you.
19:55A Victorian house-turned-art project, where all that glitters is definitely not gold.
20:02One person's trash is another person's art.
20:06And an extravagantly gaudy home full of far too many tiles, textures, and marble.
20:13It's a lot coming at you.
20:15At once.
20:15Hey, folks.
20:18I'm here to let some lucky homeowners know they have the ugliest house in the region.
20:26So here we go.
20:27Joe and Ricky, Ricky and Joe, how's stuff going in the house?
20:40Glittery.
20:42Yeah?
20:42About the same as you left it.
20:44Well, that's good, because you have the ugliest house in the Midwest region.
20:49Oh, that's awesome.
20:50Awesome, I think.
20:51Yeah.
20:51If you move on beyond here, you'll obviously hear from me.
20:55So I'm going to wish you good luck.
20:57Thank you so much.
20:59Well-deserved potpourri of pastels, you are an artistic vision of ugly.
21:03But the question remains, are you ugly enough?
21:07My quest across the country is just getting started, and there's no telling what ugly remains
21:13to be seen.
21:16Coming up.
21:17What on earth?
21:19It literally looks like she's terrified.
21:22Oh, for Christ's sake.
21:25Mirrors on the floor.
21:27Making sure there's no ticks on the privates.
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