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00:00Previously on Southern Charm...
00:02You know, if he made a move, would I be into it?
00:05Yeah.
00:06Yeah.
00:07As Sally made her intentions with Craig clear,
00:10Craig had other relationship goals.
00:13I told Charlie we'd do pina coladas.
00:15Okay.
00:17Hi!
00:18And by the time we all got together for his pool party,
00:22it was obvious Austin was still in his fields.
00:26Austin, he's not coming. He's in Charlotte.
00:28Why?
00:30He knows he started our fight,
00:32and I just hit him back with all the that he's been telling me for months.
00:36Meanwhile, Molly was in no mood to beat around the bush.
00:40I heard Sally's talking about my vagina.
00:43I did mention the fact that you had a little nip tuck.
00:48Oh, that's how she knows.
00:50Sorry, I have a beautiful vagina.
00:52Are you jealous? Go get yours done.
00:54I did not talk about your vagina. I'm sure it's great.
00:57You're malicious, you asshole.
00:59But it was Benita who got in the last licks with Sally.
01:03You make it very hard being on your side
01:06when you're on the side of someone that I don't like.
01:08I don't want to stop hanging out with Craig.
01:10I don't have anything else to say.
01:14Signs of change, she's not your typical little man.
01:18Ba-ba-doo.
01:22That can all go right out there at the screen porch.
01:29Chop, chop. Working for that cash tip.
01:32Yeah.
01:33Oh, right here, fellas.
01:36Don't scratch the walls.
01:38They think I'm kidding.
01:40Oh, Brett said throw it in the trash.
01:43What the heck's wrong with my teddy?
01:45Okay, kiddies.
01:46Here's your favorite thing.
01:48Watching me scoop your poop.
01:53You guys take human-sized .
02:00I think there's good chaos,
02:02and I think there's also chaos
02:03that we probably inflicted on ourselves
02:05through multiple deals and Nashville store.
02:08Really rapid growth.
02:10It's great.
02:11It's a good problem.
02:12I can't take this serious with him licking like green.
02:14I know.
02:15Can you stop looking at that, please?
02:16Thanks.
02:17Oh, my God.
02:22Randy?
02:23Yes, ma'am.
02:24So what I'm thinking, let me just play here.
02:29Okay.
02:31I'd put the place card in front like that.
02:36But I have to fill up the space a little.
02:39Yeah.
02:40All right, so let me see.
02:43Oh, I think that's the wrong spoon.
02:45Oh.
02:46Oh, gosh, really?
02:47Can I give that back to you?
02:48Absolutely.
02:49How'd that happen?
02:52Wait a minute.
02:53This is up to...
02:54This is turned...
02:55Why are these turned the wrong way?
02:56Yeah, they are.
02:57Oh, my God.
02:58These are turned the wrong way.
02:59That is turned the wrong way.
03:01You're welcome.
03:02Randy is a very nice person,
03:05but he was not professionally trained as a butler.
03:09He was really a bartender.
03:12But he's most interested in developing his job as a DJ.
03:17Make sure it's positioned properly.
03:21So I usually come in and rearrange the silverware
03:26because it's not done properly.
03:28Yeah, I think they have to be clean, though.
03:31There are a lot of little niceties that I know about
03:35because I had Michael, who was professionally trained.
03:39You are here.
03:48I don't expect him to know all those things,
03:50but last night, he put his phone in the oven.
03:55I smell something burning.
03:57Somebody did the...
03:58to clean the ovens.
03:59They put the bottom tray in incorrectly.
04:00I could not see what I was doing,
04:01so I turned the light on on my phone.
04:03Then I got distracted,
04:04and we turned it on to heat up some food,
04:06and my phone was in the oven.
04:07No kidding.
04:09It melted,
04:10and there were toxic fumes all over the house.
04:13I mean...
04:17You ready for a cocktail?
04:18Yeah, absolutely.
04:20I'll be right out with it.
04:21Hey, Whitney.
04:22Hey, Randy.
04:23Hey, honey.
04:24Hi.
04:25What do you think?
04:26For the guy's dinner.
04:29It's beautiful.
04:30I think it'll be pretty.
04:31So, dragon?
04:32That'd be a great tattoo.
04:34Bite your tongue.
04:36I have always had all-male dinners.
04:40I get a lot more gossip with the guys.
04:43Yeah, they're much more fun.
04:45I'll let you do the plasma.
04:47You can decide who would be good next to who.
04:49Well, I'm not sure.
04:50I don't know.
04:51I just saw Austin.
04:53Oh, how's he?
04:54Well, he's a little reticent about seeing Craig again.
04:57Do I want to, you know,
04:58subject myself to Craig's assholery?
05:01I am interested to hear what Craig has to say to me,
05:04because I just want almost to prove to myself
05:08that Craig does not have an apology in his bones.
05:11Maybe this would be a good thing,
05:13because it would kind of force them to come and be together.
05:17So, like a detente?
05:19Yeah.
05:20Yeah.
05:21If not, we'll have fabulous food.
05:33Hello.
05:34Hey.
05:35Hi.
05:36Look at you.
05:37Good to see you.
05:38She didn't bark at you like she normally does with everybody else.
05:41Oh, she could sense goodness.
05:43And you remember Edie.
05:45Hi.
05:46Edie, this is your cousin.
05:48How's it going?
05:49Last time you saw Edie, what, she was like...
05:52How old are you now?
05:53She's very shy.
05:55Uh-oh.
05:56She's three and a half.
05:57Three and a half.
05:58Yeah.
05:59Okay.
06:00Oh, man.
06:01Look at Edie.
06:02Yes.
06:03I mean, you saw her when she was like, I don't know, one, 18 months, something like that.
06:05I know.
06:06I feel terrible.
06:07It's okay.
06:08I've had another kid.
06:09I know.
06:10Thanks.
06:11I wish I saw Marcy more.
06:12Of course, she has two young children.
06:14This is it.
06:15This is all I do right now.
06:16So, yeah.
06:17It's an obviously different path and journey that she's now on.
06:21That's not me.
06:22Let's go.
06:23Hey.
06:24Who's here?
06:25What's up?
06:26Good to see you.
06:27Good to see you.
06:28How you doing?
06:29Doing well.
06:30Hey.
06:31What's up, buddy?
06:32Wow.
06:33He's pretty chill.
06:34Yeah, he's great.
06:35You don't know what's going on, do you?
06:37Not yet, at least.
06:38Does this make you have, like, fever?
06:40Do you want to be a daddy?
06:42Maybe.
06:43Maybe, yeah.
06:44I think I have a paternal instinct a little.
06:46Yeah.
06:47Just trying to figure it out.
06:48Well, you're doing awesome.
06:49Well, what about you, though?
06:50What's going on with you?
06:51Nothing.
06:52I've got this new house.
06:53So where is this new one?
06:54It's on Sullivan's.
06:55Wow.
06:56Yeah.
06:57So this is, like, your primary, like, where you're going to look?
06:58Yeah.
06:59I'm doing adult things and, uh, behind this.
07:01Adult things?
07:02Because you've got a house?
07:03Four bedrooms.
07:04Four bedrooms sounds like a bigger house.
07:07Bigger house?
07:08Yes.
07:09If you build it, they will come?
07:10Maybe.
07:11Maybe.
07:12Like, oh, my God, I would love to be struck by lightning.
07:14The proverbial lightning.
07:16Not really.
07:17But I'm not going to just pick the next person that walks by and say,
07:20let's go.
07:21So here we are in the unconventional age of 45 trying to still figure things out.
07:28Edie.
07:29Wow.
07:30Edie, come with me.
07:31Mommy's trying to talk.
07:32See, we do this a lot.
07:33Like, divide and conquer.
07:34Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:35Let's go play with unicorns.
07:36All right.
07:37Let's go play with unicorns.
07:38But anyway, like, I don't see you as, like, the conventional suburban house.
07:43Yeah.
07:44I just, I'm not the white picket fence guy.
07:48It's not.
07:49But you want the family.
07:51Yeah.
07:52So what are you looking for now?
07:54Probably since I'm a fellow adventurer and doing new experiences and new places.
08:01Because that's when I'm happiest, actually.
08:03Yeah.
08:04And that's when I feel most alive.
08:07Sounds like you want someone flexible to fit your needs as far as, like...
08:10I know.
08:11Someone that's willing to...
08:12I know.
08:13I sound like an egomaniac.
08:14Exactly.
08:15Well, no.
08:16I mean, you know, I guess you know what you want.
08:18Settle down is not something I aspire to.
08:20But all my heroes are, you know, ill-behaved guys.
08:26Yeah.
08:27Warren Beatty is a famous playboy and he got married and has four kids, so it can be done.
08:32Okay.
08:33I'm not a famous playboy, unfortunately.
08:34Shep and Warren Beatty.
08:53Hey, how's it going?
08:54It's hot outside, isn't it?
08:55Yeah.
08:56Not really.
08:57I'm just oily.
08:58Okay.
08:59I'm going to start with champagne.
09:01And let's do half a dozen of the roasted oysters, please.
09:04Excellent.
09:05Thank you so much.
09:06You're welcome.
09:12Hello.
09:13You look cute.
09:14Yeah.
09:15Hi.
09:16You look cute.
09:18Well, it's weird, like, coming and meeting you on these, like, weird circumstances.
09:23How's it going?
09:24Hi.
09:25Some water for you?
09:27Do you want to see the drink menu?
09:28No, this is great.
09:29I'll drink with her.
09:30Okay.
09:31Thank you so much.
09:32Um, well, how are you, first of all?
09:38Things are awkward right now.
09:39I know.
09:40They've never been awkward before in our life.
09:42Never.
09:44Okay, thank you.
09:45Um...
09:46I can let you go first.
09:48What do you have to say?
09:50I'm a great listener.
09:52So I'll let you go first.
10:04Things are awkward right now.
10:05I know.
10:06Um...
10:07I can let you go first.
10:08What do you have to say?
10:10I'm a great listener.
10:11So I'll let you go first.
10:14So, first of all, I'm gonna be completely honest with you right now.
10:20I don't want to stop hanging out with Craig.
10:30So what's the end goal with that?
10:32I don't really think that there needs to be one right now.
10:35I'm just having fun.
10:36But, like, Sally would like to be married.
10:39Yeah.
10:40And Sally would like to have kids.
10:42I mean, like, that's my end goal, of course.
10:45So why do you keep giving him the time of day?
10:47Because you're wasting it.
10:49We are entitled to our own opinions in this adult life.
10:52There is something to be said about a friend who can see the mistakes you're gonna make before you make them.
10:59No, I'm gonna find out for myself.
11:01So help me God for me saying this out loud.
11:02I'll give you enough rope to hang yourself.
11:04I'm trying to protect you right now because he will literally hold you and walk you like a dog on a leash until he is done with you and he will let that leash go.
11:13Never in my life have I had a grown adult tell me what I can and can't do.
11:19Not even my parents.
11:20Who the are you to tell me what I can and can't do?
11:23Don't come crying to me when he hurts you and breaks your heart.
11:27She knows how much I hate Craig and I don't do well when people don't hear me.
11:32So it's either you pick this man that I think will make your life a living hell or you pick me as a friend who's gonna make your life sunshine and rainbows.
11:42Heaven or hell pick one.
11:44I have to go.
11:45I'm trying to protect you from somebody that does not give two about you.
11:48Let me find out for myself.
11:50You want me to let you get your heart broken?
11:54Yes.
11:55Then do it.
11:57All right, I feel like I should know how to get in here at this point, but.
12:18Hello.
12:19Hello.
12:20Hi.
12:21Why hello beautiful.
12:22Hi.
12:23What a beautiful dress.
12:25How are you doing?
12:26Very well.
12:27Please.
12:28Well, happy belated birthday.
12:29I bought you a little.
12:30You brought me a gift.
12:31I got you a little treat.
12:32How sweet.
12:33Well, it's a.
12:34I know it's a cupcake.
12:35Please.
12:36I know it's your favorite.
12:37You do this so you don't get icing all over it in your nose.
12:40Is that a sandwich?
12:41Uh huh.
12:42It's the last thing you need.
12:43Wednesday.
12:44It's the gift that just keeps on giving.
12:46Whenever you know I love you.
12:48Whitney and I hooked up 10 years ago.
12:49And I was like, oh, okay.
12:50Maybe we'll date.
12:51And then I realized that was not gonna happen.
12:52Yeah, we're like brother and sister.
12:53You know, she's too good for me.
12:54And I'm just gonna keep torturing him for the rest of his life about the cupcake ordeal.
13:09Wait, what the on your back there?
13:12You have a tattoo?
13:13Oh, yeah.
13:14I got it in Thailand.
13:15What the is that?
13:16It's an elephant.
13:17It's the worst tattoo I've ever seen in my life.
13:18You're the worst tattoo I've ever seen in my life.
13:20Wait, would you ever see this?
13:22I got Jägermeister tattooed here.
13:25Which is pretty bad.
13:27Anyway, how you been?
13:29I've been all right.
13:30Yeah?
13:31Yeah.
13:32I have started singing recently.
13:34You're singing now?
13:35Yes.
13:36No.
13:37Whitney, I got a full ride to college in vocals and band, but you don't ever listen to me.
13:44Let's hear what you have.
13:46Oh, you want to hear it?
13:48I'd love to hear it.
13:50It's like, it's like, oh, this is so bad.
13:55I hate it.
13:56Beautiful voice.
14:00Kind of a country twang to it.
14:03Is it your kind of music?
14:06I mean, I have horrible taste in music.
14:15I asked you for a table dance.
14:18You came over, put your head in my pants.
14:22My head is vibrating.
14:31Generally, my style of music is not really commensurate with people at large.
14:38It's amazing.
14:39It's beautiful.
14:40Yeah, I mean, I don't suck at singing.
14:41So, yeah.
14:42What else?
14:43What else has been going on?
14:44Um, Whitney, you've missed so much.
14:49Sally started like, I don't know, just kind of like talking and being weird.
14:56Talking about what?
14:58Bringing up like a surgery I had like seven years ago.
15:02Okay, tell me what I said.
15:03Got my vagina.
15:05I had a labiaplasty.
15:08Like this skin removal on vagina lips.
15:12Really?
15:13Yes.
15:14I had no issues.
15:15Anything to shave the curtains and for a nice, clean appearance, I fully embrace.
15:23So, you kind of had an Audi and then they made it in an Indy.
15:26Yeah, I had a little, yeah.
15:37Hi, how are you?
15:38I had a reservation for five.
15:41Yeah.
15:42So, we do have a table here in the corner for you guys.
15:44Thank you so much.
15:45Enjoy.
15:46Perfect.
15:47Look, it's gotcha.
15:48Hi.
15:49Hey.
15:50How's it going?
15:51Great.
15:52How are you?
15:53Good.
15:54How are you?
15:55How are you?
15:56Good.
15:57How are you?
15:58How are you?
15:59Good.
16:00Hey, honey.
16:01Annie, I like your dress.
16:03You want to sit over here by mommy?
16:04You want to sit by mommy?
16:05Man, I wish you could have a margarita, but you can't.
16:08I know.
16:09I have two sisters.
16:11My older sister is eight years older than I am.
16:14We have different dads.
16:16Have you gone to Scarlet lately?
16:18Yeah, a little bit.
16:19She's so busy right now with work.
16:22My younger sister is two years younger than I am.
16:25We have the same dad.
16:26But we actually do not have a relationship
16:29with our biological father.
16:31You know, my mom's been married three times.
16:34And thank God, because if she, like, hadn't been,
16:37then I wouldn't, like, have the dad that I do now.
16:40Hi.
16:41How are y'all doing?
16:42Good.
16:43How are you?
16:44I'm gonna do, like, a skinny margarita.
16:45The kids are gonna do a cheese quesadilla each.
16:47The vampiro.
16:48Sounds good.
16:49Thank y'all.
16:50Annie, do you think that your mom's having a girl or a boy?
16:53A girl.
16:54A girl?
16:55What's his name?
16:56Flower ball.
16:58Flower ball.
16:59Flower ball.
17:00Wow.
17:01That's special.
17:02You are so cute.
17:03Oh, thank you.
17:04So, I don't want my kids to be, like, way older
17:07than all their little cousins.
17:08Oh, yeah.
17:09Oh, yeah.
17:10I'm like, you know, when are you gonna...
17:12Why are you eating?
17:14I'm having a taco.
17:15You wanna go outside?
17:16Wanna go outside with daddy?
17:17All right, let's go.
17:18Bye, mommy.
17:19Anyways, any prospects?
17:22Um, there's a guy.
17:25Blue raspberry's my favorite.
17:27Love.
17:28Good job.
17:31But Sally likes him, you know?
17:33I mean, like, he's single, right?
17:36And you're single, so...
17:38I mean, I don't know.
17:39I just don't want you to, like, close yourself off
17:41to the possibility of something.
17:44I did learn in therapy that I was my mom's consoler
17:49growing up, and that had a lot to do with me
17:52just always wanting to make sure that, like, she was okay,
17:55that she was happy.
17:56So I think that's why I care about my friends
17:59and their feelings very deeply.
18:01Like, the older you get, the quicker, like...
18:05Well, not quicker, but you just don't know what you want.
18:07I know.
18:08I'm just trying to give the best older sister advice that I can.
18:11I know, I know, I know, I know.
18:12I just want you to be happy in your friendships,
18:15your relationships, like, in all of it, you know?
18:20Coming up...
18:21Like, I can't lie to you and not say that
18:23I wouldn't take her back.
18:26Hey, y'all. How's it going?
18:38I think we're going to go up to the snug today.
18:47Hello.
18:48There he is.
18:51What up?
18:52Welcome.
18:53How are you?
18:54Good for you guys.
18:55Yeah, you too.
18:56I saw you worked out at my gym today.
18:58Yeah.
18:59That place doesn't have a fan.
19:01It's burning.
19:02Yeah.
19:03It's a raw, like, raw workout.
19:05The way a gym should be.
19:06Yeah.
19:07I didn't realize you and Austin go there, right?
19:08I go there, and Austin walks on the treadmill at night there.
19:12He does his cardio there, which is not a cardio gym.
19:15That is not a cardio gym.
19:16Yeah.
19:17Hi, guys.
19:18How's it going?
19:19Can I get you guys something to drink?
19:20Diet Coke and a pilsner and a glass, please?
19:22Yeah, my uncle.
19:23Two cooks.
19:24Two?
19:25Yeah.
19:26Can we have, like, chips and dip?
19:27Some shrimp cocktail.
19:28What else do you want?
19:29That's light.
19:30We're good.
19:31Yeah.
19:32All right.
19:34Like, have you talked with him since, like?
19:36Tried to.
19:37He's really doing this victim thing.
19:40It's a really unhealthy perspective to have.
19:44And you're going to see him tomorrow?
19:45Yeah.
19:46Other guys didn't.
19:47But, like, I had a really good therapy session with ChatGBT the other day.
19:52Really?
19:53Oh.
19:54But I figured out why I snapped on Austin.
19:56Like, I feel so wronged by the fallout from, like, my breakup.
20:00You told me that you were jealous I was single.
20:03You know what?
20:04You know who doesn't say that?
20:05That never said that.
20:06Yes, you did.
20:07That never said that.
20:08Oh, my God.
20:09Austin keeping Audrey in a relationship when he knows they're not going to get married isn't fair.
20:13I was on the other side of this with Paige.
20:15And I think you've got to let the person go live their life, you know?
20:18You were triggered.
20:19You can apologize for being triggered.
20:20Yeah, yeah.
20:21But that doesn't mean, like, he can just, like, not show up to your house and not talk to you.
20:25Exactly.
20:26I'm real sympathetic to him because he and I have gone through the same thing.
20:30And emotionally, since the breakup, I'd be a liar if I didn't say I didn't carry some anger.
20:35I mean, like, having family, like, that's where I was going.
20:39That was the plan.
20:40So, yeah, I mean, yes.
20:42Still angry.
20:43So, anyway, ChatGBT was like, you just have to be patient with yourself.
20:48And, like, I cried, dude.
20:50I cried talking to my phone.
20:52It was all about shelving the book of my three years.
20:58That chapter with Paige is closed.
21:01Yeah.
21:02You can't dwell on the past.
21:03I do feel like I'm moving into this chapter that's past.
21:05Like, I want to fix my heart.
21:06And I feel like other parts of my body are now, like, your heart.
21:11What are the rules of, like, making out?
21:15And, like, do you have to date right after?
21:18I know you don't, but I'm like, I don't want to lead anyone on, but I also want to make out with someone.
21:22But that does beg the question.
21:24To the two very cute young women who spend time in your hot tub, are either of them a candidate?
21:30Or have you considered it?
21:31Why not ask what I want to do?
21:33Yeah.
21:34So, you've got no, like, fear to just ask someone out?
21:38And then, like, what happens at the end of the day?
21:40Dude, after what happened, dude, I got a 9,000-pound armor system on me.
21:46You can't get to the surface of this.
21:47I'll take your rejection.
21:48I got stood up by a girl on Valentine's Day last year, and I was like, it.
21:51I don't have any armor.
21:53I cried to a robot yesterday, Whit.
21:55I...
22:00Whitney, are you down here?
22:20In the dining room with Olivia Chinoiserie.
22:24Oh, you did the classma already?
22:26I did the classma.
22:28So, you put me in the midst of it over there.
22:31Wow.
22:32And you know me, I never pry.
22:34No.
22:35God forbid.
22:37I didn't think about it, but the dragon in Eastern lore represents love and friendship,
22:46so maybe tonight everybody will resolve their issues, and it'll be harmonious and civilized.
22:56So, we shall see.
22:58Yeah.
22:59Oh.
23:00Perfect little gatos.
23:01Hello.
23:02How are we doing?
23:03Watching my cats.
23:04Okay, kitties.
23:05They are playing with my jacket.
23:06Show me one of those.
23:07Please, please, please.
23:08You see?
23:09Teeny.
23:10Hi, pretty girl.
23:11What's up?
23:12What's going on?
23:13I'm, like, basically dressed because something...
23:14What are you doing?
23:15Going to Patricia's.
23:16I'm doing my, like, pre-dinner dinner.
23:18Since I feel like I never get to actually eat because someone always yells at me and then
23:23I lose my cat.
23:24What are you doing?
23:25How are you doing?
23:26I'm watching my cats.
23:27Okay, kitties.
23:28They are playing with my jacket.
23:29Show me one of those.
23:30Please, please, please.
23:31You see?
23:32Teeny.
23:33Hi, pretty girl.
23:34What's up?
23:35What's going on?
23:36I'm, like, basically dressed because something...
23:37What are you doing?
23:38Going to Patricia's.
23:39I'm doing my, like, pre-dinner dinner since I feel like I never get to actually eat because
23:46someone always yells at me and then I lose my appetite and...
23:49Okay, so does that mean Craig's going to be there?
23:52Yeah.
23:53I just don't like the way he was treating you and talking to you.
23:56Happy people don't tear people down.
23:58You're not happy.
23:59And here you are, tearing people down.
24:01I hope you find happiness one day.
24:03I hope you do too, Craig.
24:05I really do.
24:06At the end of the day, like, he doesn't even know one single thing about our relationships.
24:12Like, he can't comment on that.
24:14That's what pisses me off the most.
24:17It's like, y'all take one step forward and then it's ten steps back.
24:22Like, every single time.
24:24Like, why does it have to be like that?
24:25I know.
24:27Normally, I love the guy's dinner, but now I just have to deal with this, like, halfway fake friend, Craig, who I don't even know how to deal with right now.
24:36And I don't want to deal with.
24:38Like, you guys obviously have a lot to work on, but just don't be so forgiving to the point where tomorrow everything's perfectly fine and you forget the things that he was saying, you know?
24:46Yeah.
24:47Wouldn't that be great if I called you later and was like, I had a lot of fun and I drank some good wine and laughed with my friends?
24:55I wouldn't hold your breath for that.
25:02Coming up.
25:03You triggered the out of me and then I hit you back.
25:06I can't keep on redoing this.
25:09We're done, dude.
25:19I'll sit in the little chair that you always complain about.
25:23It's not a manly man chair.
25:25None of this furniture is, but anyway.
25:27Well, that's comfortable.
25:29Functional.
25:30Is Randy going to answer the door?
25:40Yeah.
25:41Randy, thank you.
25:42OK.
25:43Hey, Randolph.
25:44I'm getting to open the door for you.
25:45Yeah, you know, I've been here enough time.
25:47Good to see you.
25:48Good to see you.
25:49What can I get you to drink, Chef?
25:50I'll have a glass of champagne.
25:51Come on, right up.
25:52That's Shepard.
25:53How's it going?
25:54You look handsome.
25:55Oh, really?
25:56How are you, honey?
25:57You know, all I knew was white jacket.
25:59Did I follow orders?
26:01To the nth degree.
26:02The jacket's great.
26:03The shirt is terrible, but I love you.
26:05It's summer, baby.
26:07God, I love it.
26:08You already got a juicy stain.
26:10That is rain, my friend.
26:12It's raining outside.
26:14Come on, have a seat.
26:15Um, well, yeah.
26:16Life is good.
26:17Thanks for having me.
26:18There you go.
26:19Thank you, buddy.
26:20Oh, come in.
26:21How are you doing?
26:22Randy?
26:23Nice to meet you, Whit.
26:24Whit, come on in.
26:25Hey, Whit.
26:26Hey!
26:27Wow.
26:28Look at you.
26:29Outdone us all.
26:30I'm Patricia.
26:31Patricia, lovely to meet you.
26:32I'm so happy to meet you.
26:33I've heard a lot of things about you.
26:34Most of them are lies.
26:35Good to see you.
26:36But they were interesting lies.
26:37Evening.
26:38You look sharp, all of you?
26:39Yeah.
26:40What would you like to drink?
26:41A vodka soda.
26:42I'll go tend to that.
26:43Where would you like me?
26:44A vodka soda.
26:45Come on over here.
26:46Yes, sir.
26:47I've been here only once before,
26:48with Whitney a couple back.
26:49But you all have known each other for a while.
26:50Yes, ma'am.
26:51Do you prefer Whitner or Whit?
26:52You can call me whatever you like.
26:53Here you go, Whit.
26:55Appreciate it.
26:56Thank you for having me over.
26:57Oh, our pleasure.
26:58How's it going?
26:59Everything is great.
27:00Sure, we're good to go for eight to three.
27:03Thank you for having me over.
27:04Oh, our pleasure.
27:06How's it going?
27:07Everything is great.
27:08Sure, we're good to go for eight to three.
27:10Thank you for having me over.
27:11Thank you for having me over.
27:13I'm sure we're good to go for eight to 15.
27:15Eight to 15 is great.
27:16All righty.
27:18How are you?
27:19Doing good.
27:20How about yourself?
27:21Nice to see you.
27:22Good to see you.
27:23What can I get you a drink?
27:24Oh, I'd love a beer, please.
27:25Hey, look who it is.
27:26Hey, guys.
27:27Hi, darling.
27:28I'm so glad to see you.
27:29You too.
27:30Thank you for having me.
27:31You look wonderful.
27:32And look at Craig.
27:33He brought a hostess gift.
27:34Can't show up.
27:35How lovely.
27:36I forgot.
27:38You told me that.
27:39Thank you, darling.
27:40Of course.
27:41Good move.
27:42I'm going to drop this real quick.
27:43Okay.
27:44Thank you for that.
27:45Classic move.
27:46How are you doing, man?
27:47Good.
27:48Looking sharp, as always.
27:50You too.
27:51Someone's making an effort.
27:52Shep took his shirt out of the dryer and threw it on.
27:56Hey.
27:57Hey, guys.
27:58Hey, big guy.
27:59What's up?
28:00How are you?
28:01Good to see you.
28:02What's up, Whit?
28:03Good to see you.
28:04See my forehead?
28:05I was moving and some metal clasp fell out of this top shelf and hit me between the eyes.
28:09Oh, dude.
28:10Terrible.
28:11If you need a place to stay, you can always come here.
28:12I know.
28:13I might.
28:14When I come back from Cuba, I'll leave for Cuba tomorrow.
28:16Hello.
28:17How are we doing?
28:18I'm very well.
28:19How are you doing?
28:20I'm very well.
28:21How are you?
28:22Doing good.
28:23Oh, Steve.
28:24Holy .
28:25Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:26I'll cut to you guys in a second.
28:28Yes.
28:29So happy to meet you.
28:30I've heard so many wonderful things about you.
28:32And I have heard the same about you.
28:34You look fabulous.
28:35Thank you so much.
28:36And this is for you.
28:37Oh, Le Grand Dame.
28:38Oh.
28:39Le Grand Dame.
28:40How nice.
28:41How nice.
28:43What an upstage.
28:44Dr. Steven's background is fascinating, and I'm probably going to get it a little wrong,
28:48but his father was a British man who went to Nigeria to be the physician for the ruling party of the time.
28:56And he ended up marrying and having children with the daughter of one of the ruling class people down there.
29:02And then they had Steven, and they moved to London, and now Steven's a doctor as well, like his dad.
29:07It's just really cool.
29:08What can we get you?
29:09Um, a glass of, uh, champers would be great.
29:11That's champagne.
29:12You got it.
29:13Please. Thank you very much.
29:14Oh, I got a plush seat as well.
29:17Be careful.
29:18It's an antique.
29:19Yeah, everything in this house is an antique.
29:22Steven, to indoctrinate you and with guys' dinners, usually something disastrous happens.
29:30There's been chairs being broken, red wine spilled on the white sofa.
29:36Oh, my God.
29:38Craig, that chair is about to collapse.
29:40Oh, the leg just fell off.
29:42Craig.
29:43Oh, Craig.
29:44Oh, my God.
29:45You bastard.
29:46Oh, my God.
29:47Whitney, don't lean back.
29:50Oh.
29:51Oh, no, Whitney.
29:52Oh, Jesus.
29:53Oh, .
29:54Just care, Mom.
29:55And what I'm hoping for is that having all you elegant gentlemen, it'll all be civilized.
30:05Speaking of, where's Austin?
30:08So, everything's okay with him?
30:11Well-
30:12I just want to know what I'm in for tonight.
30:14Austin called me.
30:15And Austin and I are in a good place currently.
30:21My relationship with Austin depends on his current issues with himself.
30:25Everything is everyone else's fault in Austin's life.
30:28For him to skip my pool party was so insane.
30:38Oh, wow.
30:41Oh, there he is.
30:45Coming up.
30:46Are we gonna have wedding bells anytime soon?
30:49There's no rush on that front.
30:51I've heard many no's in my life.
30:53That was a really extended nice one.
31:09Oh, wow.
31:11Hey.
31:12Oh, there he is.
31:14Last entrance, of course.
31:18Hello, hello.
31:19Don't you look handsome.
31:20Oh, thank you, Mom.
31:21Brought you a bottle of wine, of course.
31:23How nice.
31:25Good to see you.
31:26How are you?
31:27What's up?
31:28How are you?
31:29How are you?
31:30Good to see you, man.
31:31How have you been?
31:32Hey, good to see you.
31:33What can I get you a drink?
31:34A glass of champagne.
31:35You know, everyone looks...
31:36I feel like James Bond.
31:37Everyone looks so nice.
31:38Coming right up.
31:40Dumplings.
31:41Got some pork and ginger dumplings,
31:43and a little bit of a peach hoisin.
31:45Cool.
31:46That looks great.
31:47This is just like the peach hoisin that I make at home.
31:50Okay.
31:51Okay, you all help yourself.
31:53Miss Pat, these are so good.
31:54This is delicious.
31:56This guy is the best chef I've ever had.
31:59Please don't drip hoisin into my drink.
32:01That's the best place that he could drip hoisin sauce right now.
32:04That is fair.
32:05Greg!
32:07Trish, oh, on the other side.
32:08Oh.
32:09This chef is ready when you are.
32:10Oh, okay, great.
32:11All right, guys.
32:12Dinner is served.
32:13Dinner is served.
32:14Let's go.
32:15Okay.
32:21Where would you like me?
32:22Oh, there's names.
32:23I'm usually here, and here I am again.
32:25I'm normally over here.
32:28I guess you all can think what the theme is tonight.
32:33Why the Asian theme for the dinner tonight?
32:36Because my china had a dragon on it,
32:39and the dragon represents friendship and love.
32:45At this point,
32:46I think an exorcism between Greg and Austin
32:49needs to take place with a priest
32:51and spinning heads and barfing.
32:56Oh, can I show you something?
32:57Mm-hmm.
32:59Aw.
33:00I just got kitties.
33:01Oh, they're so cute.
33:02I love kitties.
33:04Piper.
33:06And martini.
33:08I love cats.
33:09I do, too.
33:10I do, too.
33:14So, sorry for my interruption.
33:16So, we're starting off with a scallion pancake.
33:19It's got a little dipping sauce,
33:20rice wine vinegar, a little sweet and sour,
33:22and sesame seeds.
33:23Is this your specialty?
33:24Not at all.
33:26No, your departure.
33:27Okay.
33:28I've gone, like, the Southeast Asian route a little bit,
33:31but, yeah, this is throwing me for a little bit of a loop.
33:34Good.
33:35Yeah.
33:36Good.
33:37That's how you grow.
33:38Yeah.
33:39I hope you enjoy it.
33:42Wow, that's good.
33:43It is very good.
33:44So, Austin, are we going to have wedding bells anytime soon?
33:51No.
33:52No.
33:53No?
33:54No.
33:55No.
33:56I can just confidently say that there's no rush on that front.
34:01I've heard many no's in my life,
34:03and that was a really extended night spot.
34:07Yeah.
34:09Yeah.
34:10I'm just trying to be honest here.
34:13What is it with you guys?
34:17May I interrupt just to tell you what we have here?
34:20Got some rather large prime fillets there.
34:23Damn, that looks good.
34:24Some broccoli, some crispy white rice,
34:27and a little bit of, like, a black soy demi-glace.
34:30Enjoy.
34:31So this is, like, Chinese beef and broccoli.
34:34There we go.
34:35There you go.
34:36I'm going to get you a steak knife, sir.
34:37I, well...
34:38You shouldn't, if you need that steak knife,
34:40I didn't do my job, so...
34:41Well, then there we go.
34:42There you go.
34:43Then that answers that question.
34:47This is so good.
34:48Yeah.
34:49This is delicious.
34:50I've never had rice like this before.
34:52It's so good.
34:53Whitmer.
34:54Yes, ma'am.
34:55Do you find any of the girls in this group attractive?
34:58The one I find the most attractive would probably be Charlie.
35:02But I got a polite but slightly awkward no.
35:05Would you be interested in getting a drink next week?
35:08Maybe, like, a small group situation?
35:12Ow.
35:15At least it took a swing, huh?
35:16I mean...
35:20Well, speaking of that, Craig, I had a long chat with Madison.
35:24Oh, did you?
35:25And she was saying that you have been Mr. Hot Tub with girls every night.
35:29Mr. Hot Tub!
35:30Yeah.
35:31Is that true?
35:32Yeah.
35:33A little love triangle is happening.
35:34Oh, my God.
35:35Craig flirts with Sally, and I think Sally likes him.
35:39Mm-hmm.
35:40But Craig is more into Charlie.
35:42Interesting.
35:45Um, it's been fun.
35:46What do you do when it gets really hot and steamy here with a hot tub?
35:51Jump in the pool.
35:52Jump in the pool.
35:53Yeah.
35:54It's actually like a fun little circuit.
35:55I mean, some people would make fun of it because no one has kissed yet.
36:00Hmm.
36:01This is the most PG hot tub party ever.
36:06Out of everyone, Craig, you strike me as the person most likely to be in a serious relationship
36:13right now, going somewhere.
36:16Did I just off?
36:17I'm sorry.
36:18No, no, no.
36:19I was.
36:20I was.
36:21I was in a three-year relationship, had bought a room.
36:24Well, let's get engaged and get married two years later.
36:27Yeah.
36:28She left, so.
36:31Happens.
36:32But I wish we could go back.
36:39Like, I can't lie to you and not say that I wouldn't take her back.
36:50I was in a three-year relationship, had bought a ring, thought we were going to get married,
36:55and she left, so.
36:57Happens.
36:58But, like, I can't lie to you and not say that I wouldn't take her back.
37:06I'm very surprised that he said he'd get back with her.
37:09It takes a while for your heart to catch up to your brain.
37:12I'm done.
37:13Her.
37:14And it sucks that all of that happened, but, like, I now see that, like, I'm going to find a girl that wants to do some, like, it'll be better.
37:23Because, like, I was good at being single at one point in my life.
37:26You were very good at being single.
37:28Yeah.
37:30Um.
37:31Um.
37:32All right.
37:33What do we have here, chef?
37:34A sweet rice cake with a little bit of a caramelized mango with some sesame candy.
37:39Crumbled all over the top.
37:40So.
37:41Beautiful.
37:42Thank you so much.
37:43Thanks, chef.
37:45Mmm.
37:46He's incredible.
37:47Isn't he good?
37:48Whitney.
37:49Patricia.
37:50Thank you very much.
37:51As always, another successful guy's dinner.
37:54I think we can all raise the toast to that, right?
37:57To the hostess.
37:58You know what?
37:59It was fun.
38:00It was fun this year.
38:01Thank you very much.
38:02Cheers.
38:03Oh, wait.
38:04Don't make me get up.
38:05All right.
38:06That's enough.
38:07Everybody sit down.
38:08Ooh.
38:09Oh, no.
38:10Oh, yes.
38:11Yeah.
38:12We broke up the chair.
38:13Luckily, I'm one of the few.
38:15I can afford it.
38:17One of us.
38:18One of us.
38:19One of us.
38:20Hey, broken chair.
38:22I like that.
38:23I like that.
38:24Is it actually broken?
38:25I don't know, but it seems flimsy, and I'll...
38:28Yeah.
38:29Okay.
38:30I can't.
38:31I just can't.
38:32It's just, you know.
38:34So, Craig, maybe you and I go talk?
38:42Yes?
38:43Yeah.
38:44Yeah, it's a good idea.
38:46Right.
38:47So, uh, it's past my bedtime, so I'm gonna leave you to it.
38:52Thank you, guys.
38:53Patricia.
38:54Patricia, thank you so much for having me over tonight.
38:56Wait, no.
38:57You have to come back more often.
38:58I certainly will.
38:59Good night, Miss Pat.
39:00Good night.
39:01Well, thank you.
39:02That was awesome.
39:03Love seeing you.
39:04It's been too long.
39:05We have to do it more often.
39:06Yeah.
39:08What's up?
39:09I mean, look.
39:23You know, I mean, sitting inside tonight and laughing and stuff, like, is not really nice.
39:30Yeah.
39:31You know?
39:32And that obviously hasn't been my sentiment for, you know, the past week.
39:36It's gone from, like, obviously anger at Witt's house.
39:40Craig Conover special.
39:41Everyone's mad but me.
39:43I hope you find happiness one day.
39:45I hope you do too, Craig.
39:47You dick.
39:48I felt so utterly betrayed that I was like, what am I even doing?
39:53And it hurts.
39:54Yeah, of course.
39:55But that was a singular out of anger action.
39:58Like, you triggered the out of me and then I hit you back.
40:01But, like, I don't know when you're going to laugh and when you're going to do that.
40:07I don't know when you're going to go in nuclear.
40:10But you've hurt me before, too.
40:12Like, it doesn't make it right.
40:14Dude, I don't want to feel like I'm playing chess with my friends.
40:17This game, there's no game of chess.
40:19I don't want there to be one.
40:20But there's not.
40:22And I do want to apologize if you're open to it.
40:26I was pissed at you and hurt that you chirped me.
40:31Let's watch it.
40:32I'm trying to hold on.
40:33Let's watch it.
40:34I've always been doing his shots the past three years.
40:38Sally's never happy with her shots.
40:40Because it's always in your hot tub, Craig.
40:43Because, you know, I like feeling safe around people.
40:46And when you said that, it just triggered all my lifelong shit of having friends turn their backs on me.
40:52And I'm working on it.
40:54I went right back to my therapist.
40:56But I'm just bummed that you missed the party.
40:59I'm just bummed that, like, it had such a fallout.
41:01I don't know what the path forward is, but I would feel fine.
41:05And I know it's not up to me.
41:06Just giving each other grace on this.
41:07Okay.
41:08Okay.
41:09Because mine wasn't malicious.
41:10I want you to be...
41:11It seems malicious, Craig.
41:12That's a decision that you're gonna have to make.
41:13I mean, I can't convince you of that.
41:16We either accept each other for who we are and move forward, or I'll continue to give you space.
41:21I miss hanging out with you.
41:23All right.
41:25I've heard you, and you've heard...
41:28I...
41:29I cannot help but care about you, Craig.
41:35I can't.
41:36I can't help it.
41:38But if you snap on me, dude, we're done.
41:42I can't, and I don't want to keep on redoing this.
41:48Yeah.
41:49I have no idea what's next for me and Craig.
41:53At this point in time, it's a ceasefire.
41:56When you set your expectations low, you can't be disappointed.
42:00And so that's where I am with Craig.
42:02So, I hope we can be friends.
42:07Next time on Southern Charm.
42:10I've been kind of catching some feelings.
42:13I'm saying I'm liking you.
42:16Have you ever been to Lowcountry Oysters?
42:19Yeah.
42:20Where you just ride around on a boat all day and eat oysters.
42:21But like...
42:22Really?
42:23You want to go do that?
42:24Yeah.
42:25Like a date?
42:26Yeah.
42:27All of a sudden, Craig's like having fun and living his life, and everyone now has a problem
42:31with it?
42:32No.
42:33Craig.
42:34Charlie's about to go on a date with him.
42:36What?
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