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00:00Previously on Southern Charm.
00:12You know, if he made a move, would I be into it?
00:15Yeah.
00:16Yeah.
00:17As Sally made her intentions with Craig clear,
00:21Craig had other relationship goals.
00:24I told Charlie we'd do pina coladas.
00:26Okay.
00:27Hi!
00:28And by the time we all got together for his pool party,
00:31it was obvious Austin was still in his feels.
00:36Austin, he's not coming.
00:37He's in Charlotte.
00:38Why?
00:39I don't know.
00:40He knows he started our fight,
00:42and I just hit him back with all the that he's been telling me for months.
00:46Meanwhile, Molly was in no mood to beat around the bush.
00:50I heard Sally's talking about my vagina.
00:54I did mention the fact that you had a little nip top.
00:58Oh, that's how she knows.
01:00Sorry, I have a beautiful vagina.
01:02Are you jealous?
01:03Go get yours done.
01:04I did not talk to you about your vagina.
01:06I'm sure it's great.
01:07You're malicious, you asshole.
01:09But it was Benita who got in the last licks with Sally.
01:14You make it very hard being on your side when you're on the side of someone that I don't like.
01:19I don't want to stop hanging out with Craig.
01:23I don't have anything else to say.
01:24That can all go right out there at the screened porch.
01:40Chop, chop.
01:41Working for that cash tip.
01:43Yeah.
01:43Oh, right here, fellas.
01:47Don't scratch the walls.
01:48Oh, they think I'm kidding.
01:50Oh, Brett said throw it in the trash.
01:54What the heck's wrong with my teddy?
01:55Okay, kitties.
02:01Here's your favorite thing.
02:02Watching me scoop your poop.
02:07You guys take human-sized shits.
02:11I think there's good chaos, and I think there's also chaos that we probably inflicted on ourselves
02:16through multiple deals and Nashville store.
02:19Really rapid growth.
02:20It's great.
02:21It's a good problem.
02:22I can't take this serious with him.
02:23I know.
02:24Can you stop looking at that, please?
02:25Thanks.
02:26Oh, my God.
02:32Randy?
02:33Yes, ma'am.
02:33So what I'm thinking, let me just play here.
02:38Okay.
02:41I put the place card in front like that.
02:46But I have to fill up the space a little.
02:48Yeah.
02:50All right.
02:50So let me see.
02:52Oh.
02:53I think that's the wrong spoon.
02:55Oh.
02:56Oh, gosh.
02:56Really?
02:57Can I give that back to you?
02:59How'd that happen?
03:01Wait a minute.
03:02This is up to...
03:03This is turned...
03:04Why are these turned the wrong way?
03:06Oh, my God.
03:07These are turned the wrong way.
03:08I think that is turned the wrong way.
03:11You're welcome.
03:12Randy is a very nice person,
03:14but he was not professionally trained as a butler.
03:19He was really a bartender.
03:22But he's most interested in developing his job as a DJ.
03:27Make sure it's positioned properly.
03:30So I usually come in and rearrange the silverware
03:35because it's not done properly.
03:38Yeah, I think they have to be clean, though.
03:41There are a lot of little niceties that I know about
03:45because I had Michael, who was professionally trained.
03:49You are here.
03:58I don't expect him to know all those things.
04:00That last night, he put his phone in the oven.
04:05I smell something burning.
04:07Somebody did the...
04:08Clean the ovens.
04:08They put the bottom tray in incorrectly.
04:10I could not see what I was doing,
04:11so I turned the light on on my phone.
04:13Then I got distracted,
04:14and we turned it on to heat up some food,
04:16and my phone was in the oven.
04:17No kidding.
04:20It melted, and there were toxic fumes all over the house.
04:25I mean...
04:27You ready for a cocktail?
04:29Yeah, absolutely.
04:30I'll be right out with you.
04:32Hey, Whitney.
04:33Hey, Randy.
04:35Hey, honey.
04:36Hi.
04:36What do you think for the guy's dinner?
04:40It's beautiful.
04:41I think it'll be pretty.
04:42That'd be a great tattoo.
04:45Bite your tongue.
04:46I have always had all-male dinners.
04:50I get a lot more gossip with the guys.
04:53Yeah, they're much more fun.
04:55I'll let you do the plasma.
04:57You can decide who would be good next to him.
04:59Well, I'm not sure.
05:00I don't know.
05:01I just saw Austin.
05:03Oh, how's he?
05:04Well, he's a little reticent about seeing Craig again.
05:07Do I want to, you know, subject myself to Craig's f***ing assholery?
05:11But I am interested to hear what Craig has to say to me.
05:15Because I just want almost to prove to myself that Craig does not have an apology in his bones.
05:21Maybe this would be a good thing, because it would kind of force them to come and be together.
05:27So, like a detente.
05:28If not, we'll have fabulous food.
05:42Hello.
05:44Hey.
05:46Look at you.
05:47Good to see you.
05:48She didn't bark at you like she normally does with everybody else.
05:51Oh, she can sense goodness.
05:53And you remember Edie.
05:55Hi.
05:56Edie, this is your cousin.
05:57How's it going?
06:00Last time you saw Edie, what, she was like...
06:02How old are you now?
06:04She's very shy.
06:06Uh-oh.
06:06She's three and a half.
06:07Three and a half.
06:08Yeah.
06:09Okay.
06:09Oh, man, look at Edie.
06:12Yes.
06:13I mean, you saw her when she was, like, I don't know, one, 18 months.
06:15I know.
06:15Something like that.
06:16I know.
06:16I feel terrible.
06:17I should probably...
06:18I've had another kid.
06:19I know.
06:20I wish I saw Marcy more.
06:22Of course, she has two young children.
06:24This is it.
06:25This is all I do right now.
06:26So, yeah.
06:26It's an obviously different path and journey that she's now on.
06:31That's not me.
06:33Let's go.
06:33Hey.
06:33Who's here?
06:35What's up?
06:35Who's here?
06:36Good to see you.
06:36What's up?
06:37Good to see you.
06:37How you doing?
06:38Doing well.
06:39Hey.
06:39What's up, buddy?
06:41Wow.
06:42He's pretty chill.
06:44Yeah, he's great.
06:45You don't know what's going on, do you?
06:47Not yet, at least.
06:49Does this make you have, like, fever?
06:50Do you want to be a daddy?
06:52Maybe.
06:53Maybe.
06:53Yeah, I think I have a paternal instinct, a little bit.
06:56Trying to figure it out.
06:57Look, you're doing awesome.
06:59Well, what about you, though?
07:00What's going on?
07:01Nothing.
07:01I've got this new house.
07:02So, where is this new one?
07:03It's on Sullivan's.
07:05Wow.
07:06Yeah.
07:06So, this is, like, your primary, like, where you're going to look?
07:08Yeah.
07:08I'm doing adult things, and, uh, behind this.
07:11Adult things.
07:12Four budgees.
07:14Four budgees sounds like a bigger house.
07:17Bigger house.
07:18If you build it, they will come?
07:20Maybe.
07:21Maybe.
07:21Like, oh, my God, I would love to be struck by lightning.
07:24The proverbial lightning.
07:26Not really.
07:27But I'm not going to just pick the next person that walks by and say, let's go.
07:31So, here we are, in the unconventional age of 45, trying to still figure things out.
07:38Edie.
07:38Wow.
07:39Edie, come with me.
07:40Mommy's trying to talk.
07:41See, we do this a lot.
07:42We, like, divide and conquer.
07:44Let's go play with unicorns.
07:46Let's go play with unicorns.
07:49But anyway, like, I don't see you as, like, the conventional suburban house.
07:53Yeah.
07:54I just, I'm not the white picket fence guy.
07:57It's not.
07:58But you want the family.
08:01Yeah.
08:02So, what are you looking for now?
08:04Probably, since I've done a fellow adventurer, doing new experiences and new places, because
08:11that's when I'm happiest, actually.
08:13Yeah.
08:13Yeah.
08:14And that's when I feel most alive.
08:17Sounds like you want someone flexible to fit your needs, as far as, like, someone that's
08:21willing to...
08:22I know.
08:22I sound like an egomaniac.
08:24Exactly.
08:24Well, no.
08:24I mean, you know, I guess you know what you want.
08:27Settle down is not something I aspire to.
08:30But, um, all my heroes are, you know, ill-behaved guys.
08:36Yeah.
08:36Warren Beatty is a famous playboy, and he got married and has four kids, so it can be done.
08:42I'm not a famous playboy, unfortunately.
08:44Stop and Warren Beatty.
08:45Hey, how's it going?
08:51It's hot outside, isn't it?
09:05I'm not really.
09:06I'm just oily.
09:08Okay.
09:09I'm going to start with champagne, and let's do half a dozen of the roasted oysters, please.
09:13Excellent.
09:14Thank you so much.
09:16You're welcome.
09:16Bye.
09:21Hello.
09:22You look cute.
09:24Yeah.
09:25Hi.
09:25You look cute.
09:27Well, it's weird, like, coming and meeting you on these, like, weird circumstances.
09:33How's it going?
09:34Hi.
09:34Some water for you?
09:35Do you want to see the drink menu?
09:37No, this is great.
09:38I'll drink with her.
09:38Okay.
09:39Thank you so much.
09:40Um, well, how are you, first of all?
09:47Things are awkward right now.
09:49I know.
09:49They've never been awkward before in our life.
09:52Never.
09:54Okay, thank you.
09:56I can let you go first.
09:58What do you have to say?
10:01I'm a great listener, so I'll let you go first.
10:10So, first of all, I'm going to be completely honest with you right now.
10:30I don't want to stop hanging out with Greg.
10:40So, what's the end goal with that?
10:43I don't really think that there needs to be one right now.
10:45I'm just having fun.
10:47But, like, Sally would like to be married, and Sally would like to have kids.
10:52I mean, like, that's my end goal, of course.
10:55So, why do you keep giving him the time of day?
10:58Because you're wasting it.
10:59We are entitled to our own opinions in this adult life.
11:02There is something to be said about a friend who can see the mistakes you're going to make
11:08before you make them.
11:09No, I'm going to find out for myself.
11:11So, help me God from me saying this out loud.
11:12I'll give you enough rope to hang yourself.
11:14I'm trying to protect you right now, because he will literally hold you and walk you like
11:19a dog on a leash until he is done with you, and he will let that leash go.
11:24Never in my life have I had a grown adult tell me what I can and can't do.
11:29Not even my parents.
11:30Who the are you to tell me what I can and can't do?
11:33Don't come crying to me when he hurts you and breaks your heart.
11:39She knows how much I hate Craig, and I don't do well when people don't hear me.
11:42So, it's either you pick this man that I think will make your life a living hell, or you pick
11:47me as a friend who's going to make your life sunshine and rainbows.
11:53Heaven or hell, pick one.
11:55I have to go.
11:55I'm trying to protect you from somebody that does not give two about you.
11:59Let me find out for myself.
12:01You want me to let you get your heart broken?
12:05Yes.
12:05Then do it.
12:06All right.
12:25I feel like I should know how to get in here at this point, but...
12:28Hello.
12:31Hello.
12:32Hi.
12:33Well, hello, beautiful.
12:34Hi.
12:35What a beautiful dress.
12:38How are you doing?
12:39Very well.
12:40Please.
12:41Well, happy belated birthday.
12:43I bought you a little...
12:43You brought me a gift.
12:44I got you a little treat.
12:45How sweet.
12:45Well, it's a...
12:46I know it's a cupcake.
12:48Please.
12:48I know it's your favorite.
12:50You do this so you don't get icing all over it in your nose.
12:53Is that a sandwich?
12:54It's the last thing you need.
12:57Whitney!
12:59It's the kiff that just keeps on giving.
13:02Whenever you know I love you.
13:03Whitney and I hooked up ten years ago.
13:06And I was like, oh, okay.
13:07Maybe we'll date.
13:08And then I realized that was not going to happen.
13:11Yeah, we're like brother and sister.
13:12You know, she's too good for me.
13:15And I'm just going to keep torturing him for the rest of his life about the cupcake ordeal.
13:20Wait, what the f*** on your back there?
13:22You have a tattoo?
13:23Oh, yeah.
13:24I got it in Thailand.
13:25What the f*** is that?
13:26That's an elephant.
13:27That's the worst tattoo I've ever seen in my life.
13:29You're the worst tattoo I've ever seen in my life.
13:31Wait, did you ever see this?
13:32I got f***ing big...
13:33I know, I've seen it.
13:33I got Jägermeister tattooed here.
13:35Which is pretty bad.
13:37Anyway, how you been?
13:39I've been all right.
13:40Yeah?
13:40Yeah.
13:41I have started singing recently.
13:44You're singing now?
13:45Yes.
13:46No.
13:47Whitney, I got a full ride to college in vocals and band, but you don't ever listen to me.
13:54Let's hear what you have.
13:56Oh, you want to hear it?
13:58I'd love to hear it.
13:59I've been thinking it over.
14:01It's like...
14:02It's like, ugh, this is so bad.
14:05I hate it.
14:08Beautiful voice.
14:10It's kind of a country twang to it.
14:15Is it your kind of music?
14:17I have horrible taste in music.
14:25Asked you for a table dance.
14:29You came over, put your hand in my pants.
14:37My head is vibrating.
14:40Generally, my style of music is not really commensurate with people at large.
14:48It's amazing.
14:49It's beautiful.
14:49Yeah, I mean, I don't suck at singing.
14:51So, yeah.
14:52What else?
14:53What else has been going on?
14:56Whitney, you've missed so much.
14:59Sally started, like, I don't know, just kind of, like, talking shit and being weird.
15:06Talking shit about what?
15:07Like, bringing up, like, a surgery I had.
15:10Like, seven years ago.
15:12Okay, tell me what I said.
15:13About my vagina.
15:15I had a labiaplasty.
15:18Like, this skin removal on vagina lips.
15:22Really?
15:23Yes.
15:24I had no issues.
15:26Anything to shave the curtains and for a nice, clean appearance, I fully embrace.
15:32So, you kind of had an Audi, and then they made it in an Indy.
15:36Yeah, I had a little, yeah.
15:47Hi, how are you?
15:48I had a reservation for five.
15:51Yeah.
15:51Yeah, so we do have a table here in the corner for you guys.
15:53Thank you so much.
15:55Enjoy.
15:56Perfect.
15:56Look, it's Cha-Cha.
16:00Hi, you're my goodness.
16:03Hi.
16:04Hey.
16:05How's it going?
16:06Great.
16:06How are you?
16:07Good.
16:07How are you?
16:08How are you?
16:09Good.
16:10Hey, honey.
16:11Annie, I like your dress.
16:13You want to sit over here by mommy?
16:14You want to sit by mommy?
16:16Man, I wish you could have a margarita, but you can't.
16:18I know.
16:20I have two sisters.
16:21My older sister is eight years older than I am.
16:24We have different dads.
16:26Have you gone to Scarlett lately?
16:28Yeah, a little bit.
16:29She's so busy right now with work.
16:32My younger sister is two years younger than I am.
16:35We have the same dad, but we actually do not have a relationship with our biological father.
16:41You know, my mom's been married three times.
16:43And thank God, because if she, like, hadn't been, then I wouldn't, like, have the dad that I do now.
16:51Hi, how are y'all doing?
16:52Good, how are you?
16:53I'm going to do, like, a skinny margarita.
16:55The kids are going to do a cheese quesadilla each.
16:57The vampiro.
16:58Sounds good.
17:00Annie, do you think that your mom's having a girl or a boy?
17:03A girl.
17:04A girl?
17:05What's his name?
17:06Flowerball.
17:09Flowerball.
17:09Flowerball.
17:10Wow.
17:11That's special.
17:11You are so cute.
17:13Oh, thank you.
17:15So, I don't want my kids to be, like, way older than all their little cousins.
17:19Oh, yeah.
17:20I'm like, you know, when are you going to?
17:24I'm having a taco.
17:26You want to go outside?
17:26Can I go outside with Daddy?
17:28All right, let's go.
17:29Bye, Mommy.
17:30Anyways, any prospects?
17:33Um, there's a guy.
17:36Blue raspberry's my favorite.
17:37Love.
17:38But Sally likes him, you know?
17:42I mean, like, he's single, right?
17:45And you're single, so...
17:47I mean, I don't know.
17:49I just don't want you to, like, close yourself off to the possibility of something.
17:52I did learn in therapy that I was my mom's consoler growing up, and that had a lot to do with me just always wanting to make sure that, like, she was okay, that she was happy.
18:06So, I think that's why I care about my friends and their feelings very deeply.
18:11Like, the older you get, the quicker, like...
18:15Well, not quicker, but you just don't know what you want.
18:17I know.
18:18I'm just trying to give the best older sister advice that I can.
18:20I know, I know, I know, I know.
18:22I just want you to be happy in your friendships, your relationships, like, in all of it, you know?
18:30Coming up...
18:31Like, I can't lie to you and not say that I wouldn't take her back.
18:40Hey, y'all.
18:48How's it going?
18:49I think we're going to go up to the snug today.
18:57Hello.
18:59There he is.
19:01What up?
19:02Welcome.
19:03How are you?
19:04Yeah, you too.
19:06I saw you worked out at my gym today.
19:08Yeah, that place doesn't have a fan burning.
19:12Yeah, it's a raw, like, raw workout.
19:15The way a gym should be.
19:16Yeah.
19:16I didn't realize you and Austin go there, right?
19:19I go there, and Austin walks on the treadmill at night there.
19:23He does his cardio there, which is not a cardio gym.
19:25That is not a cardio gym.
19:26Yeah.
19:27Hi, guys.
19:28How's it going?
19:29Can I get you guys something to drink?
19:30Diet Coke and a pilsner and a glass, please.
19:33Yeah, my uncle.
19:34Two cooks.
19:34Two?
19:34Yeah.
19:35Can we have, like, chips and dip, some shrimp cocktail?
19:37What else do you want?
19:39That's light.
19:39We're good.
19:40Yeah.
19:40All right.
19:44Like, have you talked with him since, like,
19:46tried to.
19:46He's really doing this victim thing.
19:50It's a really unhealthy perspective to have.
19:54And you're going to see him tomorrow?
19:55Yeah.
19:56At the guy's dinner.
19:57But, like, I had a really good therapy session with ChatGBT the other day.
20:02Really?
20:02Oh.
20:03But I figured out why I snapped on Austin.
20:06Like, I feel so wronged by the fallout from, like, my breakup.
20:10You told me that you were jealous I was single.
20:13You know what?
20:13You know who doesn't say that?
20:14I never said that.
20:15Yes, you did.
20:15I never said that.
20:16Oh, my God.
20:18Austin keeping Audrey in a relationship when he knows they're not going to get married isn't fair.
20:23I was on the other side of this with Paige.
20:25And I think you've got to let the person go live their life, you know?
20:29You were triggered.
20:30You can apologize for being triggered.
20:31But that doesn't mean, like, he can just, like, not show up to your house and not talk to you.
20:35Exactly.
20:36I'm real sympathetic to him because he and I have gone through the same thing.
20:40And emotionally, since the breakup, I'd be a liar if I didn't say I didn't carry some anger.
20:46I mean, like, having family, like, that's where I was going.
20:49That was the plan.
20:50So, yeah, I mean, yes.
20:52Still angry.
20:53So, anyway, ChatGPT was, like, you just have to be patient with yourself.
20:58And, like, I cried, dude.
21:00I cried talking to my phone.
21:03It was all about shelving the book of my three years.
21:09That chapter with Paige is closed.
21:11Yeah.
21:12You can't dwell on the past.
21:13I do feel like I'm moving into this chapter that's past, like, oh, I want to fix my heart.
21:18And I feel like other parts of my body are now, like, your heart.
21:23What are the rules with, like, making out and, like, do you have to date right after?
21:28I know you don't, but I'm like, I don't want to lead anyone on, but I also want to make out with someone.
21:32But that does beg the question to the two very cute young women who spend time in your hot tub.
21:38Are either of them a candidate or have you considered it?
21:41Why not ask not one of them?
21:43Yeah.
21:44So, you've got no, like, fear to just ask someone out?
21:48And then, like, what happens at the end of the day?
21:50Dude, after what happened, dude, I got a fucking 9,000-pound armor system on me.
21:56You can't get to the surface of this.
21:57I'll take your reject.
21:58I got stood up by a girl on Valentine's Day last year, and I was like, it.
22:02I don't have any armor.
22:03I cried to a fucking robot yesterday, Whit.
22:06Hi.
22:06Whitney, are you down here?
22:30In the dining room with Olivia Chinoiserie.
22:34Oh, you did the class mall already?
22:35I did the class mall.
22:38So, you put me in the midst of it over there.
22:41Wow.
22:41And you know me, I never pry.
22:44Oh, God forbid.
22:45I didn't think about it, but the dragon in Eastern lore represents love and friendship,
22:56and so maybe tonight everybody will resolve their issues, and it'll be harmonious and civilized.
23:04So, we shall see.
23:08Yeah.
23:16Perfect little gatos.
23:17Hello.
23:26What are you doing?
23:28Watching my cats.
23:30Okay, kitties.
23:31They are playing with my jacket.
23:32Show me one of that, please, please, please, please.
23:35You see?
23:36Teeny?
23:38Hi, pretty girl.
23:40What's up?
23:41What's going on?
23:41I'm, like, basically dressed, because something.
23:46What are you doing?
23:46Going to Patricia's.
23:48I'm doing my, like, pre-dinner dinner, since I feel like I never get to actually eat, because
23:56someone always yells at me, and then I lose my appetite.
23:58Okay, so, does that mean Craig's going to be there?
24:02Yeah.
24:03I just don't like the way he was treating you and talking to you.
24:06Happy people don't tear people down.
24:08You're not happy.
24:09And here you are, tearing people down.
24:11I hope you find happiness one day.
24:14I hope you do, too, Craig.
24:15I really do.
24:16At the end of the day, like, he doesn't even know one single thing about our relationships.
24:22Like, he can't comment on that.
24:25That's what pisses me off the most.
24:27It's like, y'all take one step forward, and then it's ten steps back.
24:32Like, every single time.
24:34Like, why does it have to be like that?
24:35I know.
24:37Normally, I love the guy's dinner, but now I just have to deal with this, like, halfway fake
24:42friend, Craig, who I don't even know how to deal with right now.
24:46And I don't want to deal with.
24:48Like, you guys obviously have a lot to work on, but just don't be so forgiving to the
24:52point where tomorrow everything's perfectly fine, and you forget the things that he was
24:55saying, you know?
24:56Yeah.
24:57Wouldn't that be great if I called you later and was like, I had a lot of fun, and I drank
25:03some good wine and laughed with my friends?
25:05I wouldn't hold your breath for that.
25:11Coming up.
25:12You triggered the out of me, and then I hit you back.
25:16I can't keep on redoing this.
25:19We're done, dude.
25:29I'll sit in the little chair that you always complain about.
25:33It's not a manly man chair.
25:35None of this furniture is, but anyway.
25:37Well, that's comfortable.
25:39Functional.
25:40Is Randy going to answer the door?
25:50Okay.
25:51Randy, thank you.
25:52Okay.
25:53Hey, Randolph.
25:54I didn't get to open the door for you.
25:55Yeah, you know.
25:56I've been here enough time.
25:57Good to see you.
25:58Good to see you.
25:58What can I get you to drink, Chef?
26:00I'll have a glass of champagne.
26:01Come on, right up.
26:02Oh, wow.
26:02That's Shepard.
26:03How's it going?
26:04You look handsome.
26:05Oh, really?
26:06How are you, honey?
26:07You know, all I knew was white jacket.
26:09Did I follow orders?
26:11To the nth degree.
26:12The jacket's great.
26:13The shirt is terrible, but I love you.
26:16It's summer, baby.
26:17God, I love it.
26:18You already got a juicy stain.
26:20That is rain, my friend.
26:23It's raining outside.
26:24Come on, have a seat.
26:25Well, yeah.
26:26Life is good.
26:27Thanks for having me.
26:29There you go.
26:29Thank you, buddy.
26:36How's it coming?
26:37How are you doing?
26:38All right, Randy.
26:39Nice to meet you, Whit.
26:40Wait, come on.
26:41Hey, Whit.
26:42Hey!
26:43Wow.
26:44Look at you.
26:45Outdone us all.
26:45I'm Patricia.
26:46Patricia, lovely to meet you.
26:47I'm so happy to meet you.
26:49I've heard a lot of things about you.
26:51Most of them are lies.
26:53Good to see you.
26:53But they were interesting lies.
26:55Evening.
26:55You look sharp, all of you?
26:56Yeah.
26:56What would you like to drink?
26:57For a vodka soda.
26:58I'll go tend to that.
27:00Where would you like me?
27:01Come on over here.
27:02Yes, sir.
27:03I've been here only once before with Whitney a couple back.
27:07But you all have known each other for a while.
27:09Yes, ma'am.
27:10Do you prefer Whitner or Whit?
27:12You can call me whatever you like.
27:13Here you go, Whit.
27:15Appreciate it.
27:16Thank you for having me over.
27:17Oh, our pleasure.
27:20How's it going?
27:21Everything is great.
27:23Sure, we're good to go for 8.15?
27:258.15 is great.
27:26All righty.
27:27How are you?
27:29Doing good.
27:29How about yourself?
27:30Nice to see you.
27:31Good to see you.
27:31What can I get you to drink?
27:32Oh, I'd love a beer, please.
27:34Got it.
27:34Hey, look who it is.
27:35Hey, guys.
27:36Hi, darling.
27:37I'm so glad to see you.
27:38You too.
27:38Thank you for having me.
27:39You look wonderful.
27:40And look at Craig.
27:40He brought a hostess gift.
27:43Can't show up.
27:43How lovely.
27:46Here, what's it?
27:47I forgot.
27:49You taught me that.
27:49Thank you, darling.
27:50Of course.
27:51Good move.
27:52I'm going to drop this real quick.
27:53Okay.
27:54Thank you for that.
27:55Classy move.
27:56Bro, how you doing, man?
27:57Good.
27:58Looking sharp, as always.
27:59You too.
28:00Someone's making an effort.
28:01Shep took his shirt out of the dryer and threw it on.
28:06Hey.
28:07Hey, guys.
28:07Hey, big guy.
28:08What's up, buddy?
28:09How are you?
28:09Good to see you.
28:10I'm cool.
28:11What's up, man?
28:11Good to see you.
28:12See my forehead?
28:14Yeah.
28:14I was moving, and some metal clasp fell out of this top shelf and hit me between the eyes.
28:20If you need a place to stay, you can always come here.
28:21I know.
28:22I might.
28:22When I come back from Cuba, I leave for Cuba tomorrow.
28:28Hello.
28:29How are we doing?
28:30I'm very well.
28:30How are you?
28:31Doing good.
28:32Oh, Steve.
28:33Holy s***.
28:35Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:35I'll cut to you guys in a second.
28:38Yes.
28:38So happy to meet you.
28:40I've heard so many wonderful things about you.
28:42And I have heard the same about you.
28:44You look fabulous.
28:45Thank you so much.
28:45And this is for you, the grand-
28:47Oh, Le Grand-Dom.
28:48Oh, Le Grand-Dom.
28:50How nice.
28:51How nice.
28:52What an upstage.
28:54Dr. Stephen's background is fascinating, and I'm probably going to get it a little wrong,
28:58but his father was a British man who went to Nigeria to be the physician for the ruling
29:04party of the time.
29:05And he ended up marrying and having children with the daughter of one of the ruling class
29:10people down there.
29:12And then they had Stephen, and they moved to London, and now Stephen's a doctor as well,
29:16like his dad.
29:17It's just really cool.
29:18What can we get you?
29:19A glass of champagne would be great.
29:21That's champagne.
29:22You got it.
29:23Please.
29:23Thank you very much.
29:24Oh, I got a plush seat as well.
29:27Be careful.
29:28It's an antique.
29:30Yeah, everything in this house is an antique.
29:32Stephen, to indoctrinate you, and with guys' dinners, usually something disastrous happens.
29:41There's been chairs being broken, red wine spilled on the white sofa.
29:47Oh, my God.
29:48Craig, that chair is about to collapse.
29:51Oh, the leg just fell off.
29:53Craig.
29:54Oh, Craig.
29:56Oh, my God.
29:57Disaster.
29:58Oh, my God.
29:59Whitney, don't lean back.
30:02Oh.
30:02Oh, no.
30:03Oh, Jesus.
30:05This is a chair, Mom.
30:08And what I'm hoping for is that having all you elegant gentlemen, it'll all be civilized.
30:15Speaking of, where's Austin?
30:19So everything's okay with him?
30:21Well, Austin called me.
30:22I just want to know what I'm in for tonight.
30:24And Austin and I are in a good place currently.
30:27My relationship with Austin depends on his current issues with himself.
30:35Everything is everyone else's fault in Austin's life.
30:38For him to skip my pool party was so insane.
30:41Coming up, are we going to have wedding bells anytime soon?
30:59There's no rush on that front.
31:01I've heard many no's in my life.
31:03And that was a really extended, nice one.
31:19Oh, wow.
31:21Hey.
31:22Oh, there he is.
31:24Last entrance, of course.
31:26Hello, hello.
31:29Don't you look handsome.
31:30Oh, thank you, Mom.
31:31Brought you a bottle of wine, of course.
31:33How nice.
31:35Good to see you.
31:36All right.
31:37What's up?
31:37How are you?
31:38How are you?
31:39Good to see you, man.
31:39How have you been?
31:41Hey, good to see you.
31:43What can I get you a drink?
31:44A glass of champagne.
31:45You know, everyone looks, I feel like James Bond.
31:47Everyone looks so nice.
31:48Coming right up.
31:50Dumplings.
31:50Got some pork and ginger dumplings with a little bit of a peach hoisin.
31:55Cool.
31:55That looks great.
31:56This is just like the peach hoisin that I make at home.
32:00Okay, you all help yourself.
32:03Miss Pat, these are so good.
32:04This is delicious.
32:05This guy is the best chef I've ever had.
32:09Please don't drip hoisin into my drink.
32:11That's the best place that he could drip poison sauce right now.
32:13Yeah, that's fair.
32:14Greg!
32:17Trish, oh, on the other side.
32:18This chef is ready when you are.
32:20Oh, okay, great.
32:21All right, guys, dinner is served.
32:23Dinner is served, okay.
32:31Where would you like me?
32:32Oh, there's names.
32:33I'm usually here, and here I am again.
32:35I'm normally over here.
32:38I guess you all can think what the theme is tonight.
32:42Why the Asian theme for the dinner tonight?
32:45Because my china had a dragon on it,
32:48and the dragon represents friendship and love.
32:55At this point, I think an exorcism between Craig and Austin
32:59needs to take place with a priest and spinning heads and barfing.
33:04Oh, can I show you something?
33:07Mm-hmm.
33:09Aw.
33:10I just got kitties.
33:11Oh, they're so cute.
33:12Yeah, they're so cute.
33:12I love kitties.
33:14Piper.
33:15Aw.
33:15And martini.
33:18I love cats.
33:19I do, too.
33:20I do, too.
33:24So, sorry for my interruption.
33:25So, we're starting off with a scallion pancake.
33:29It's got a little dipping sauce, rice wine vinegar,
33:31a little sweet and sour, and sesame seeds.
33:33Is this your specialty?
33:34Not at all.
33:36No, your departure.
33:38Okay.
33:38I've gone, like, the Southeast Asian route a little bit,
33:41but, yeah, this is throwing me for a little bit of a loop.
33:44Good.
33:45Yeah.
33:45Good.
33:45That's how you grow.
33:47Yeah.
33:47I hope you enjoy it.
33:51Wow, that's good.
33:52It is very good.
33:53So, Austin, are we going to have wedding bells anytime soon?
34:00No.
34:01No?
34:02No.
34:03No.
34:04Uh, I can just confidently say that there's no rush on that front.
34:10I've heard many no's in my life.
34:13And that was a really extended nice one.
34:17Yeah.
34:18Yeah.
34:20I'm just trying to be honest here.
34:22What is it with you guys?
34:27May I interrupt just to tell you what we have here?
34:30Got some rather large prime fillets there.
34:33Damn, that looks good.
34:34Some broccoli, some crispy white rice,
34:37and a little bit of, like, a black soy demi-glace.
34:40So this is, like, Chinese beef and broccoli.
34:44There we go.
34:44There you go.
34:45I'm going to get you a steak knife, sir.
34:47I, what?
34:48You shouldn't, if you need that steak knife,
34:50I didn't do my job, so.
34:50Well, then there we go.
34:51There you go.
34:51And that answers that question.
34:56This is so good.
34:58Yeah.
34:58This is delicious.
34:59I've never had rice like this before.
35:01It's so good.
35:03Whitmer.
35:03Yes, ma'am.
35:04Do you find any of the girls in this group attractive?
35:07The one I find the most attractive would probably be Charlie.
35:11But I got a polite but slightly awkward no.
35:15Would you be interested in getting a drink next week?
35:19Maybe, like, a small group situation?
35:22Ow.
35:24At least it took a swing, huh?
35:26I mean...
35:27Speaking of that, Craig, I had a long chat with Madison.
35:34Oh, did you?
35:35And she was saying that you have been Mr. Hot Tub with girls every night.
35:39Mr. Hot Tub.
35:40Yeah.
35:41Is that true?
35:42Yeah.
35:42A little love triangle is happening.
35:44Oh, my God.
35:45Craig flirts with Sally, and I think Sally likes him.
35:50Mm-hmm.
35:50But Craig is more into Charlie.
35:52Interesting.
35:55Um, it's been fun.
35:56What do you do when it gets really hot and steamy here with a hot tub?
36:01Jump in the pool.
36:02Jump in the pool.
36:03Yeah.
36:03And actually, like, a fun little circuit.
36:06I mean, some people would make fun of it because no one has kissed yet.
36:10Hmm.
36:12This is the most PG hot tub party ever.
36:16Out of everyone, Craig, you strike me as the person most likely to be in a serious relationship
36:23right now, going somewhere.
36:25Did I just f*** up?
36:27I'm sorry.
36:28No, no, no.
36:28I was.
36:29I was.
36:29I was in a three-year relationship, had bought a ring.
36:34Well, let's get engaged and get married two years later.
36:37Yeah.
36:37She left, so.
36:41Happens.
36:42But I wish we could go back.
36:48Like, I can't lie to you and not say that I wouldn't take her back.
36:52I was in a three-year relationship, had bought a ring, thought we were going to get married,
37:04and she left, so.
37:06Happens.
37:07But, like, I can't lie to you and not say that I wouldn't take her back.
37:11I'm very surprised that he said he'd get back with her.
37:19It takes a while for your heart to catch up to your brain.
37:21I'm done.
37:22F*** her.
37:23And it sucks that all of that happened, but, like, I now see that, like, I'm going to find
37:27a girl that wants to do some, like, it'll be better, because, like, I was good at being
37:34single at one point in my life.
37:36You were very good at being single.
37:40Um.
37:41All right.
37:42What do we have here, Chef?
37:43A sweet rice cake with a little bit of a caramelized mango with some sesame candy,
37:49crumbling all over the top, so.
37:50My vote.
37:51Beautiful.
37:51Thank you so much.
37:52Thanks, Chef.
37:54Mmm.
37:55He's incredible.
37:56Isn't he good?
37:56I think best one yet.
37:58Whitney.
37:59Patricia.
38:00Thank you very much.
38:01As always, another successful guy's dinner.
38:04I think we can all raise the toast to that, right?
38:06To the hostess.
38:07You know what?
38:08It was fun.
38:09It was fun this year.
38:09Thank you very much.
38:11Cheers.
38:12Oh, wait, don't make me get up.
38:14All right, that's enough.
38:15Everybody sit down.
38:16Ooh.
38:17Oh, no.
38:18Oh, yes.
38:20We got a chair.
38:21He broke on the chair.
38:22Luckily, I'm one of the few.
38:24I can afford it.
38:26There are one of us.
38:27There are one of us.
38:29Hey, broken chair.
38:33Is it actually broken?
38:35I don't know, but it seems flimsy.
38:37And I'll...
38:38Okay.
38:39I can't.
38:40I just can't.
38:41It's just...
38:42I can't.
38:43I can't.
38:43So, Craig?
38:48Maybe you and I go talk.
38:52Yes?
38:53Yeah.
38:54Yeah, it's a good idea.
38:55Right.
38:56So, uh, it's past my bedtime, so I'm gonna leave you to it.
39:02Thank you, guys.
39:03Patricia, thank you so much for having me over tonight.
39:05Wait, no, you have to come back more often.
39:08I certainly will.
39:09Good night, Miss Pat.
39:10Good night.
39:11Well, thank you.
39:11That was awesome.
39:12Love seeing you.
39:13It's been too long.
39:14We have to do it more often.
39:16Yeah.
39:17What's up?
39:29I mean, look, I can't lie and say that, you know, I mean, sitting inside tonight and laughing
39:35and stuff, like, is not really nice.
39:40Yeah.
39:41You know?
39:42And that obviously hasn't been my sentiment for, you know, the past week.
39:46It's gone from, like, obviously anger at Witt's house.
39:50Craig Conover's special.
39:51Everyone's mad but me.
39:52I hope you find happiness one day.
39:55I hope you do, too, Craig, you dick.
39:57I felt so utterly betrayed that I was like, what am I even doing?
40:03And it hurts.
40:04Yeah, of course.
40:04But that was a singular out of anger action.
40:07Like, you triggered the out of me, and then I hit you back.
40:10But, like, I don't know when you're going to laugh and when you're going to do that.
40:17I don't know when you're going to go in nuclear.
40:19But you've hurt me before, too.
40:21Like, it doesn't make it right.
40:23I just...
40:24Dude, I don't want to feel like I'm playing chess with my friends.
40:27This game, there's no game of chess.
40:29I don't want there to be one.
40:30But there's not.
40:32And I do want to apologize if you're open to it.
40:37I was pissed at you and hurt that you chirped me.
40:41Yeah!
40:41Let's watch.
40:42I'm trying to hit on Charlotte.
40:43Let's watch.
40:45I've always been doing his shots the past three years.
40:48Sally's never happy with her shot.
40:50Because it's always in your hot tub, Craig.
40:52Because, you know, I like feeling safe around people.
40:56And when you said that, it just triggered all my lifelong shit of having friends turn their backs on me.
41:01And I'm working on it.
41:03I went right back to my therapist.
41:06But I'm just bummed that you missed the party.
41:08I'm just bummed that, like, it had such a fallout.
41:11I don't know what the path forward is, but I would feel fine.
41:14And I know it's not up to me.
41:16Just giving each other grace on this.
41:17Okay.
41:18Because mine wasn't malicious.
41:19I want you to be...
41:20It seems malicious, Craig.
41:21Well, that's a decision that you're going to have to make.
41:23I mean, I can't convince you of that.
41:26We either accept each other for who we are and move forward, or I'll continue to give you space.
41:31I miss hanging out with you.
41:33All right.
41:35I've heard you, and you've heard...
41:38I cannot help but care about you, Craig.
41:45I can't.
41:46I can't help it.
41:47But if you snap on me, dude, we're done.
41:52I can't, and I don't want to keep on redoing this.
41:57Yeah.
41:59I have no idea what's next for me and Craig.
42:02At this point in time, it's a ceasefire.
42:05When you set your expectations low, you can't be disappointed.
42:09And so that's where I am with Craig.
42:12So, I hope we can be friends.
42:17Next time on Southern Charm.
42:19I've been kind of catching some feelings.
42:23I'm saying I'm liking you.
42:24Have you ever been to Lowcountry Oysters?
42:29We just ride around on a boat all day and eat oysters.
42:31Really?
42:32You want to go do that?
42:33Yeah.
42:34Like a date?
42:35Yeah.
42:36All of a sudden, Craig's, like, having fun and living his life, and everyone now has a problem with it.
42:41No.
42:41Craig.
42:42Probably about to go on a date with him.
42:45What?
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