The Graham Norton Show - Season 18 Episode 20- Compilation Show
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00:00My Mammy always said chat shows are like a box of chocolates you never know what
00:15guests you're going to get I've got stars from America USA USA USA and stars from
00:23Britain hello hi how you doing I'm good a little help here please
00:35at the time you've lost weight
00:53really know too kind to kind welcome all that was a look back at some of my
01:11favorite cold opens from the series what a series it's been so many extraordinary
01:16guests on the sofa and how happy was I to see this face Miriam now you didn't I'm
01:22guessing you don't sugarcoat things do you get starstruck when you make I do
01:26sometimes I do sometimes I remember when I was young I and I met Laurence Olivier
01:31what that was I used to collect autographs at the stage door and he came out and I
01:38remember so distinctly that I started to cream in my knickers
01:52you know what I mean I know exactly what you mean
01:55wherever we thought that story was going
01:59I honestly don't think I've ever been more uncomfortable
02:05I think that's the worst moment of my life
02:15well that's a lovely story Miriam thank you for sharing I think that's in the
02:28compilation that's great
02:33have you been at the Oscars say have you gotten off yeah have you David I think so
02:39what is the theme of this show because it looks like they're pretty easy to get
02:48yeah have you been though have you been cause I haven't been why would I go still
02:53because it's great isn't it it is you get all that great free stuff and I gotta tell you whatever even if you just went for a short film they treat you
03:05did you get the gift basket with all the games it was actually before I was born that you were there
03:151995
03:17we were booked on economy to come back to London because obviously we've done
03:24ourselves our own back and I thought if I turn up at at the airport Los Angeles
03:29airport and place my Oscar surely I'll get upgraded I didn't
03:34it was great we handed everybody in economy held up the Oscar it was like a
03:42night at the Opera people in the Titanic underneath it's great we've enjoyed the
03:50Oscar chat but let's have you ever won anything
04:04the people coming up to you know like very Americans are very well America you
04:09know they're not shy Americans no no no but I don't go anywhere really where they can get at me
04:18it's usually in museums that aren't galleries and things so that limits things I keep away from them and
04:35Howard's I don't go near so are you in a ways of glad that downtown's over oh yeah
04:41honestly she was about by the time she must
04:49she must have been 110
04:51couldn't go on and on and on and on I couldn't
04:56it just didn't make sense
04:58have you ever watched downtown
05:00I've got the box set
05:10so you should have two such young Oscar winners you know this is normally
05:23something that's my friend yeah but the other thing you share is quite short-lived
05:30careers in modeling oh happy new year so so because you now what was your big break was it
05:44we're going to squire I think all of the above talk about talk about it or was it in fact
05:51yes because look at these like it's hard to make a jumper sexy through that but I think
06:03I mean seriously here's the thing your sweater has eyeballs
06:17that was a high point but I think you can actually still buy that and it's the point of that is you can learn to knit it yourself
06:26so you you guys can take one of those home and knit it yourself
06:31actually I can buy the sweater and then I have to do it myself
06:34yeah because you you and you don't have my picture
06:37no I don't because I'll tell you why
06:38yes tell us why because it's really amazing job to get
06:41I was an Abercrombie model
06:43get in Abercrombie and Fitch ladies gentlemen
06:45don't don't make your hoots please tell me it's a story
06:48so my pictures never came out I did like the whole campaign and the pictures never came out
06:53and I didn't know why and my agent wrote and asked why and they literally only responded with the photos
06:59because they like their whole like idea was like we want real people so they you know they like got
07:07I don't know we were like on a beach and then they threw us a football and they're like play football
07:11and all the other models were like playing football like in a pretty way you know like and not me I was all of the
07:19photos I've got a red face covering sweat my nostrils are flared
07:24like at one point a girl yelled just get her away from me
07:29I was very excited that Matt Damon is here but in certain parts of the audience and the audience at home there might be some disappointment
07:46because people were perhaps hoping that they would be seeing Matt Damon and his ponytail
07:53it was quite the sensation this summer the ponytail Matt Damon and his ponytail and when did it go
08:01when did it go well I had it you know I did a movie in China and and so I was there for about five months with that
08:07with that thing and then we did a press conference at the very end
08:11no it was I you know it was it was hair extensions
08:16because Matt Damon's ponytail it ended up with its own Twitter account
08:20do you know that
08:21it had its own Twitter account but also people you know people really appreciated that ponytail on Twitter
08:27I don't know if you really found some of the tweets that people at it so mmm Matt Damon with a man bun
08:34hashtag lady boner
08:36they they get worse
08:41you think you were basically understanding of the world then you see Matt Damon's ponytail and nothing makes sense
08:49This this one this one's quite extreme Matt Damon has a ponytail never was going to cut off I think my ovaries might explode
08:57so never put it in a top notch
09:00I won't do that
09:01and who knows what this last one means
09:04Matt Damon I will use your ponytail to steer while you dine upon my lady sandwich
09:09wow
09:12she's really thought it through
09:15she is
09:16a lady sandwich
09:18that's a that's a that's a that's a charming thing
09:20that's a that's a
09:21I just like to use the word steer
09:23steer
09:24steer
09:25steer
09:26steer
09:27steer
09:28steer
09:29steer
09:30steer
09:31steer
09:32steer
09:33steer
09:34steer
09:35steer
09:36steer
09:37steer
09:38steer
09:39steer
09:40Ryan made a beautiful Blake sexiest man in the world all the things and yeah
09:44she is the sexiest man in the world
09:45yeah
09:46yeah
09:47you did well there
09:48that's a good shot right there
09:49look at you
09:50look at you just
09:51beautiful and happy
09:53yeah
09:54so annoying
09:55yeah
09:56no but the tears up
09:57when you started kind of being interested in girls
09:59you weren't as that cool or smooth with it
10:02no no
10:03no not at all
10:04I was I don't believe it
10:05no no no I really I went through puberty at like 27
10:08it was a freak thing and yeah it was not good
10:11yeah
10:12yeah
10:13who's the girl who's the girl in school the first the first girl the first well I was
10:17obsessed with this this girl uh uh Fiona Gorchinski
10:20mm
10:21who uh uh she
10:22she
10:23she
10:24she said
10:25and she used to actually she used to take the bus the the the opposite way of my actual
10:29home and I would get on the bus just to sit next to her
10:32wow
10:33for 45 minutes the wrong way
10:34there's something wonderful about that
10:35there was something wonderful
10:36yeah
10:37moronic
10:38I love it when you're young it's so cute when you're older it's just stalking
10:43stalking
10:44stalking
10:45you're like on some kind of watch list
10:47and you're
10:48yeah but I remember when I was I couldn't have been more than I don't know 11 years old
10:51and I and I I was just about to get off the bus because enough is enough I'm about to enter like Seattle or something
10:56so
10:57I was starting to get off the bus and I decided to like kind of hit her with like this cool look
11:01or something like this like one of these like real sort of Don Johnson Miami Vice
11:04kind of things
11:05let me feel it let me feel it let me feel it let me feel it
11:07right you feel that
11:10yeah
11:11I threw up in my mouth
11:14but I I do this I do this move as I'm getting down off the bus and I sort of delay a little too long
11:20and the bus doors close on my backpack
11:22oh
11:23on my backpack
11:24and the bus just starts to leave
11:26and I'm sort of like doing this like
11:29like banging on the side of the bus
11:31the bus driver finally stops opens the door let's releases my you know idiot back back back back and I could never look at her again
11:38yeah
11:39yeah that was terrible
11:40yeah
11:41she's looking at you now
11:42yeah she sure is
11:45Nicole Kidman you had an adorable name when you were little a sort of pet name
11:50unless I'm wrong
11:53no
11:54if I'm wrong
11:55you know what you call is it I don't know how you call it is it hukulani
11:59oh no that's not my pet name that's my Hawaiian name
12:02oh
12:03I do forgive me
12:05yeah
12:06yeah
12:07yeah
12:08because I was born in Hawaii
12:09well so does everyone get an Hawaiian name if you're born in Hawaii
12:11no but I did
12:12okay
12:13um
12:15hukulani
12:16what does it mean
12:18it means
12:19heavenly star
12:20Slightly undermines it when you explain where your parents got the name
12:30um
12:31from the Honolulu Zoo
12:33there was a baby elephant that was born at the same time as me was called hukulani
12:37actually
12:39actually
12:40so
12:41we
12:42we thought we read about it so we google it there was a picture this is a picture of
12:45hukulani
12:46the elephant
12:47oh
12:48see
12:49heavenly star
12:50my twin
12:51it's the hour's nose
12:53no
12:54no
12:55no
12:56stop that
12:57okay
12:58but so
12:59we were in the office and you know kind of elephants live
13:01elephants live
13:02and we thought
13:03oh
13:04that's amazing
13:05I've got to get a copy of that
13:06is that really the
13:07and you've got him
13:08it would be amazing if we had hukulani at the back
13:10so we emailed
13:11we emailed
13:12Honolulu Zoo
13:13I said remember hukulani
13:14what happened to hukulani
13:15and uh
13:16very kindly
13:17someone
13:18I think her name's Barbara
13:19she found time to email back
13:21uh
13:22aloha
13:23cause that's what you're saying
13:24no it's not haloha
13:27what is it
13:28aloha
13:29aloha
13:30ah
13:31hukulani
13:32hukulani
13:33hukulani
13:34hukulani
13:35oh
13:36Barbara writes
13:37I am sorry to say that hukulani died
13:39at the Honolulu Zoo
13:40on November the 13th 1970
13:43oh
13:441970
13:45now you would think
13:46busy busy busy running a zoo
13:47I'll stop my email there
13:48that's all they wanted to know
13:50no Barbara continues
13:52she was found dead in the moat of her exhibit
13:56it goes on
13:57it goes on
13:58this is awful
13:59I know
14:00no no no
14:01no no no no
14:02this was in 1970
14:03and Barbara remembers it like it was yesterday
14:05she was found in the moat
14:07she was found in the moat
14:08it was speculated that she was pushed in
14:11by another young elephant
14:13jealous of the mothering attention she was receiving from an older female
14:17I wish there was a more warm and fuzzy angle to this story
14:20good luck with your interview
14:22it does
14:23it does
14:24it does
14:25it does
14:26yeah
14:27it's incredible
14:29woo
14:30now the weird thing is
14:32I ask you
14:33we could be related
14:34because
14:35apparently
14:37apparently
14:39there's some Irish stock in your past
14:41no
14:42I mean it could be
14:44you never know
14:45no
14:46no
14:47but you have an Irish name
14:48do I
14:49O'Shea
14:50O'Shea is an Irish name
14:51it couldn't be more Irish
14:52no one told you that till now
14:54no
14:55I've been told
14:57but you know I think my mother just liked the name
15:00okay
15:01because it's your Christian name
15:02it's my
15:03yeah
15:04I think
15:05listen
15:06let me educate you something
15:07black people
15:08black people are notorious for picking things that they saw one day and say that's my baby name
15:12that's all that was
15:15okay
15:16that's all that was
15:17grandma
15:18there's nothing
15:19there's no amazing story behind it
15:21I would love to tell you
15:22yes
15:23it actually came from an Irish forefather that did this
15:26that's not the case
15:27my mother was reading the paper and she was eating some cereal
15:30and somebody in the back said O'Shea
15:32she said that'd be a good name
15:33and that's it
15:35that's how it happened
15:36that's it
15:37that's it
15:38that's it
15:39that's it
15:40so when you tour now
15:43do you still do the thing of booking hotels onto ridiculous names
15:47yes I do
15:48so tell us some of the names you've chosen over the years
15:51um
15:52oh
15:53Sir Binky Poodle Clip
15:54um
15:55um
15:56there was one called Fanny Beaver Snatch Clip
15:59which the hotel operator wouldn't use
16:05and Sir Horace Pussy
16:07and in Las Vegas I'm usually
16:10because I'm at Caesars I'm Judas Fart
16:12Judas Fart?
16:13no I didn't
16:14no
16:15I get it
16:20yeah right
16:21I get it
16:22yeah
16:23does Horace Pussy mean something when you put it all together
16:25Sir Horace Pussy?
16:26yeah
16:27it doesn't mean anything
16:28oh no
16:29it's too far
16:30I don't mean Sir Horace Pussy
16:32yeah
16:33my mother had to ring and ask for Sir Horace Pussy
16:35and she's like
16:36I can't believe you asked me to ring Sir Horace Pussy
16:40didn't she do it?
16:41she did
16:42yeah
16:43there was one in the Ritz Hotel in Paris where they had special stationery made up
16:47um
16:48so
16:49yes it's fun
16:50it's not you go on the road it's so boring you have to do something to make yourself cheerful
16:54yeah
16:55to amuse it
16:56so every time they ring the room
16:57I was the Marquis of Minge
16:59that was my one
17:01that was my one
17:03and I've got it said for the visit of the Marquis of Minge I've still got the room
17:07and they made the writing paper up
17:10yeah
17:11and now you are the real deal
17:13growing up you were you know the jock Kurt you were the sportsman all that
17:17but I have to say you are on the couch with kind of nerd central
17:21um
17:22what?
17:23well now
17:24no
17:25no
17:26Tina Fey you do a lot of material about growing up a nerd but you really were a nerd
17:29yeah
17:30no I really was
17:31we've got photographic evidence
17:32there you go this will prove it
17:34whoa
17:35how did
17:36I say that that haircut was done by folding my face in half
17:42worst haircut of all time
17:44the guy from Spinal Tap
17:46who did it?
17:47my mum used to take me to a haircutting school
17:49because you could get
17:50like literally a two dollar haircut
17:53and yeah
17:54you were the guinea pig
17:55and the sign outside the school said
17:56London
17:57Paris
17:58Upper Derby
18:03and you've talked about your late blossoming
18:06your sort of sexual awakening
18:07thank you for bringing that up
18:08I was wanting to make sure everyone knew
18:10I mean yeah I was a late starter
18:13and yeah for sure
18:15I don't
18:16I probably didn't see a penis until I was at least 20
18:19and that was probably a medical journal
18:20so
18:21to see like a healthy penis
18:23well
18:24well into my late point
18:27no
18:28it's not
18:30mottled
18:31it's not
18:35oh
18:36oh oh oh oh oh
18:37it's still horrible looking
18:42but then but you
18:43this is so weird to be talking to some of them
18:45you did
18:46but you did
18:47you did
18:48look at my body language
18:49look at my body language
18:50you did do that physically quite early
18:52again
18:53thank you
18:56yeah no
18:57I think because you must have read the Zimbabwe defense
18:59yeah yeah
19:00I did I was you know wearing
19:01bless my heart
19:02and that haircut
19:03and like a bra
19:04I remember taking my mom taking me to JCPenney
19:06and trying a bra on over my clothes
19:08in the middle of JCPenney
19:10I was just being like
19:12no
19:13no mommy no
19:14like
19:15no
19:16it's like there's no
19:17there's no turning back
19:19yeah
19:20so I was probably like 10
19:2110?
19:22literally at the same time
19:23like 1980
19:24the same time that Kurt was scaring men in the streets of St. Louis
19:27I was like
19:28now smash cut to a JCPenney
19:30and he was like
19:31no mommy no
19:34and I suppose I have to ask you David
19:36because I
19:37we're in the midst of all this Star Wars stuff
19:39big fan
19:40of course
19:41I mean when I was 10 years old
19:43I mean
19:44Princess Leia was always
19:46for me
19:47what can I say
19:48how
19:49how
19:50how many times a day?
19:54I said 10 years old
19:56there were three films
19:58there were three films
20:01but your boys went to see the premiere
20:03yeah they both came back and was raving about it
20:06and said it was really incredible so
20:08hey
20:09hey you know what would make your kids really jealous
20:11what's that?
20:12is if you just pose with a lightsaber
20:15with Finn
20:16that would actually make them very jealous
20:17do it
20:18do it
20:19I've got one I've got one in Manchester United Red
20:21oh
20:22where is it?
20:23no I really do I really do
20:24where's the blue one again?
20:25okay there's the blue one
20:26and actually
20:27now here's the thing
20:28because you're in
20:29is it you're in the new King Arthur film?
20:31I am just a small part
20:32yeah
20:33have you done some sword training?
20:34I have done some sword training
20:36okay well we're looking for some
20:37oh look at him
20:38look at this
20:41okay
20:43you get that to work
20:44I'm moving well out of your way
20:46yeah yeah no
20:47can we not kill
20:48can we not kill Kylie?
20:49that's all I ask
20:50be very kind
20:51now there's a way
20:52so basically
20:53to turn this on
20:54you push
20:55you push
20:56that thing
20:57that one up
20:58okay
20:59that
21:00there we go
21:01oh
21:02oh
21:03you've gone off
21:04David Beckham
21:05you've gone off
21:06you have met your match
21:08oh
21:14I just wanted to meet you mate
21:16now here's the thing
21:26if people want a picture of Daniel
21:28and you know you think I'm never going to meet Daniel Radcliffe
21:31don't worry
21:32because
21:33have you seen this
21:34you like the internet
21:35have you seen this thing on Reddit?
21:37I've been made aware of this
21:39I think this thing
21:40this time travelling thing
21:41yeah the Daniel Radcliffe time traveller
21:43so what it is
21:44is people post
21:45old photographs
21:46and then you have to scan them very carefully
21:48to see if you can manage to spot
21:51who in the photograph looks like Daniel Radcliffe
21:54so
21:55can you spot Daniel Radcliffe time traveller
21:57in this picture?
21:58yeah
21:59yeah
22:00yeah
22:01got him
22:02yeah
22:03yeah
22:04yeah
22:05yeah
22:06yeah
22:07yeah
22:08yeah
22:09the next one
22:10the next one's easier
22:11because there are three people
22:12can you see which of the three people
22:14can you see which of the three people
22:15is Daniel Radcliffe time traveller?
22:19that's really very human
22:22like it really is
22:23like
22:24that is you
22:25pictures of me particularly when I was younger
22:26like that's very very very close down
22:29if Daniel Radcliffe ever went on who do you think you are
22:33at some point
22:35surely
22:36this photograph will come up
22:37oh
22:38oh
22:39oh
22:40oh
22:41oh
22:42oh
22:43oh
22:44oh
22:45oh
22:46oh
22:47oh
22:48oh
22:49oh
22:50oh
22:51oh
22:52oh
22:53oh
22:54oh
22:55oh
22:56oh
22:57oh
22:58oh
22:59oh
23:00oh
23:01oh
23:04oh
23:05i'm in for research
23:06uh
23:07well they go to prison
23:08so
23:09researching a film
23:10and we had to go in and uh
23:11basically see what the inside of a prison looked like
23:12and speak with prisoners who were willing to talk to us
23:14um
23:15and i walked in and
23:17i remember thinking
23:19i had my ponytail and long blonde hair and i had a hat on
23:23I think Lily knows where this is going.
23:29So I spent the night.
23:32And the warden said, you can't wear your hat and so on.
23:35And I said, okay, no worries.
23:36And I thought, oh, shit, they're going to know who I am.
23:38And I thought, oh, no, they don't get Thor in here.
23:40They're not going to watch movies.
23:41And I don't know, I've never been to prison.
23:44So I assumed that.
23:44And the moment I started walking through the cells,
23:47and it's like H-block of this thing,
23:49and it's all just kind of, you know, cell upon cell and so on.
23:53And I just start getting heckled.
23:56And it's like, yo, Thor's here, man.
23:57Yo, Thor, yo, Thor's here, Thor, Thor.
24:01Where's your hammer, man?
24:03And I'm trying to, like, blend in and, you know, research.
24:07And just getting heckled left and right about,
24:09you know, come spend some time in my cell, baby.
24:13I've got my long hair.
24:16You'll do.
24:16Yeah, yeah.
24:20Oh, but now, also, Chris, it's quite nice that we sat beside Dawn.
24:23Because then it's like being at home, sitting on the sofa.
24:25With the hair and everything?
24:26I mean...
24:27It is the same, because...
24:28Yes.
24:28Well, I think I had the hair first, I have to say.
24:30I'm quite a lot older than his, Dawn.
24:32Dawn O'Porter, your wife?
24:33Yes, yes.
24:34Oh, that's her there now.
24:36Yes.
24:36Oh, look at that.
24:38It is the same hair.
24:39No, look at us.
24:42Quite similar.
24:43It is very similar.
24:44This is what you're going to be looking at in another 20 years' time.
24:47This is it.
24:48I'll be on Wife 3 by then.
24:52She makes you feel so special.
24:55But then, Dawn might move on, because...
24:57Other Dawn.
24:57Yeah.
24:58Because she likes meeting men, it seems, even in your presence, Chris.
25:03No, oh, yeah, she does.
25:09She does?
25:10She does.
25:11Well, like anybody would.
25:12We've had a couple of things.
25:14We're, um...
25:15So, we met Brad Pitt, right?
25:18See?
25:18At the BAFTAs, I think it was.
25:21And he came over, and we were having a chat about something or other.
25:25And he was very nice.
25:28And I introduced him to Dawn, and they shook hands.
25:31And then we kind of kept on talking, and then he started talking to somebody else or whatever.
25:35And then after a while, I looked down, and I realized that she was still holding two of his fingers.
25:42And I was like, we better go to our seats.
25:45And she's like, okay.
25:47And she said, 41 seconds.
25:49I said, what?
25:51That's how long I held him for.
25:52And then a couple of weeks after that, we went for some other kind of awards dinner, and, um, and Bradley Cooper was there.
26:04Very nice guy, very kind of personable.
26:06Yeah, it's a who.
26:07That's how attractive he is.
26:09And, um, we were leaving, and she was getting her phone out of her bag, and I noticed something sparkling in it.
26:17And I realized that she had stolen his fork.
26:20Now, she said that she was going to auction it for charity or something.
26:28But every now and again at home, I see her eating with her.
26:34It's kind of, it's hard to feel like a sex symbol when your wife is using another man's fucking name.
26:42So she only managed, with Brad Pitt, she only managed to hold onto his fingers, though, did she?
26:46That's right.
26:47So, hands up, everybody here who's actually been kissed on the lips by Brad Pitt.
26:52Whoa.
26:55I was just going to do it.
26:58Now, Daryl Jones and Michael, obviously married, what you say, 15 years.
27:03Wow.
27:04And people, you know, couples, when they've been together, they have little rituals and ways to keep the relationship fresh.
27:09But you have one involving golf, is this right?
27:12Yeah, that old thing.
27:15Yeah.
27:15Yeah.
27:15Yeah.
27:16I don't think I can handle this.
27:18I can, I can, I can kick his ass in golf, if I say so.
27:22Okay.
27:22But don't you make these bets when you're playing golf?
27:25Yeah, if he defts a shot and can't get his ball over the ladies' tee, he has to take his pants off.
27:32Mmm.
27:32We'll drop him.
27:33On the pitch?
27:34On the pitch?
27:35On the pitch?
27:37You're worse than I am.
27:39Even I know that.
27:41On the court.
27:42On the court, yeah.
27:43Yeah.
27:44It's pitch and putt.
27:46It's gone.
27:47It's gone.
27:48It's gone.
27:48It's gone.
27:49It's gone.
27:49It's gone.
27:50It's gone.
27:50Yeah.
27:51Exposed himself in some way, yeah.
27:53And does he do it?
27:54It's not just my husband.
27:54It's any man I play with.
27:56It's gone.
27:57Yeah.
27:58Yeah.
27:59Yeah.
28:00I have questions too.
28:01You know.
28:02He didn't have a question.
28:03He was volunteering to play golf.
28:04I just dropped him on the course.
28:09What are paparazzi doing all day?
28:10No, there has been an issue with paparazzi, but I made him go into the bushes and drop
28:15his pants.
28:16Oh, yeah.
28:17That's fine, man.
28:18The deal is a deal.
28:19And now, Will, you and Jada, you're kind of, you know, a real Hollywood couple, a power
28:26couple now.
28:27Married 18 years.
28:28That's my wife.
28:29Wow.
28:30Still interesting.
28:31Look at that.
28:32Are you looking at his food?
28:33That's not a good, do I, that picture?
28:34Why did you do that?
28:35I'm looking at her like food.
28:36I'm looking at her like food.
28:37Like I'm still breastfeeding.
28:38Jeez.
28:39It's a good thing that's my wife.
28:42So, you know, selfie, the whole selfie thing, it's really, you know, selfies are everywhere
29:01and everyone takes selfies.
29:02Now, there is a new sort of selfie.
29:06Are you aware of this thing, nutscaping?
29:08No, but I can't wait.
29:09No.
29:10What's that?
29:11Do you know what nutscaping is?
29:12No.
29:13Okay.
29:14So, what you do is you're out and about and you see just a wonder of nature, beautiful scenery,
29:22a landscape as twerp, and then you nutscape it.
29:26Get your nuts out.
29:27Yeah.
29:28You basically, you drop your testicles into the picture.
29:32Sorry.
29:33A picture, a picture paints a thousand words.
29:36And this is the website, nutscape.
29:38So, that's, that's it right there.
29:41That's, that's essentially it.
29:44My crazy, my crazy, that's, that's one nut.
29:48No, that's two nuts.
29:49Oh, that's two nuts?
29:50They are outside.
29:51Okay.
29:52They are outside.
29:53A lot of them, a lot of them are quite chilly.
29:55When two comes one, yeah.
29:56Look at that, I mean.
29:57That's not a nut.
29:58That's an eclipse.
29:59They're that same, same.
30:00Oh, look off to the side there.
30:01With the hair.
30:02That's very odd.
30:03See?
30:04Oh, look at that little one.
30:05Oh.
30:06That's not a nut.
30:07That's a nut.
30:08That's a nut.
30:09That's a nut.
30:10That's a nut.
30:11That's a nut.
30:12That's a nut.
30:13That's a nut.
30:14That's a nut.
30:15That's a nut.
30:16Oh, no.
30:17Now this, I love that.
30:19He needs to get that check.
30:20There's the, there's the, there's the, there's the, there's the, there's something wrong with that.
30:25Look at the shadow it's making over the.
30:31It's massive.
30:33Oh, this is the best film ever.
30:36Where's my favourite one?
30:37Oh, look at the hair on that one.
30:39Oh, look at those cows.
30:44My favorite one is so beautiful. It's a real it's incredibly artistic check of that
31:03Mark Wahlberg you'd an extraordinary gig a few months ago. Oh with the Pope. Yeah
31:15Yes, I did did the Pope recognize you. Oh, no, he hasn't watched television since the mid 80s
31:22Except he does love the Graham Norton show and he's gonna be appalled
31:28Already apologized for my language and in the movies that I've done
31:32I didn't know if he was a movie fan or not and I was hugging this young boy who has an amazing voice
31:37I mean really a gift from God and all of a sudden he comes out and goes I really loved you in Ted
31:43I said it's kids like 10 11 years old. I said that's inappropriate for you to watch that and then I had to apologize and explain myself
31:49And did you hang out in any sense?
31:51Uh, no, we were we we we had a brief encounter was able to say hello and and
31:57We we exchanged some pleasantries and that was pretty much it. I've never I mean I've met presidents
32:02I've never seen so many people from all walks of life
32:05And two million people were at this event to come to see just to get a glimpse of this man
32:10Wow, and he was he was on the move originally he was going to leave and
32:15They started basically cutting bits of the show as we were going. I'm hosting the show
32:20So they're telling me well, this is going and that's going and but then
32:25What is his name that wonderful singer?
32:29Tony Bennett no Josh Groban
32:32No, Placido Domingo Harry from One Direction
32:35You're making me make it harder to remember. Sorry
32:40What what kind of what kind of music opera? He's a wonderful gentleman. He has a
32:46Problem with his eyes
32:48I'm telling it. Yes
32:50With his eyes
32:52He's blind
32:53He's blind
32:58He kept bumping into things. He's a problem. Yeah
33:03So anyway, so then the Pope decided to stay
33:07And then Macelli kept going and singing more and more songs
33:11They had a moment together as he couldn't see the signal to stop
33:15That's what the lady was doing. Yeah, she was like, I thought she was
33:23I thought she was the Pope left
33:31And now ladies and gentlemen 50 cent the musician has returned to us. You're back. Yes, you are
33:38All right
33:42The track the track on the new album called nine shots
33:46It goes back to an early kind of terrible experience in your life
33:50Now if you guys aren't familiar with this story of what happened, it's amazing go
33:54Well
33:56I
33:58Got you know shot nine times, but it was one time
34:02And I just didn't see the person coming or I would have avoided it
34:08You know this happened and and I was trying to write a song
34:12Conceptually that they would define more of who I am so I wrote
34:16Nine shots and just picked nine painful moments that I experienced in my life and used the shot as a metaphor
34:23But the nine where were you shot where like in front of my grandmother's house
34:27But wearing the body
34:34That's like being in the doctor's office, isn't it?
34:36I got hit a few
34:38Most of them in the legs I can hit my hand and then I hit in the face so like
34:43The fragment portion of it is in my tongue so it kind of changed the way I speak a little bit like and you're rapping as well
34:50Yeah, what is it still in your tongue? Can you see it? Yeah, it's great for oral sex
34:53I'm a better man now
35:08Can you see it? Yeah, let's have a fee of 50
35:16I've washed my hands
35:17It's so old sex and then you're going to put your feet in my mouth
35:20Oh no stuff
35:25I better not add time
35:27No, let's go have a look, have a look, see if you can buy
35:29I just have a look
35:29I need a napkin
35:30I need a napkin
35:31Has anyone got a tissue?
35:32Anyone got a tissue?
35:33A clean one
35:34Oh look, these ladies, these ladies
35:35Thank you very much
35:36Oh look, they're still, look they're still, they're still hermetically sealed, thank you very much
35:40There they go, love you
35:41Wow, how were you prepared? Did someone tell you to come with this?
35:44How did that happen? What's the odds of that? You'd be sitting in the front row with this?
35:50Yes
35:51Who does this kind of stuff, right?
35:54It only happens on this programme, honestly
35:56Oh yeah, I can feel it
36:01I know whole pages of heat
36:15You surprised me
36:16So I, there's this, there's a scene in the middle of the film, which you'll be familiar with
36:22You were there?
36:25The one person you don't need to explain it to
36:33You're very, you're very good in this game
36:35You're very, you're very good in this game
36:36You've seen it in the middle of the film, which is, because, because, uh, Al Pacino and Robert De Niro
36:44They're, they're, they're separated, like a great thriller, they're separated from, for the entire film
36:48And they meet twice, once at the end, once in the middle, and it takes place at a restaurant in LA
36:53It's a great scene, it's one of the great pieces of screen acting you can hope to watch
36:56There it is, there's a picture of it
36:58It's like a, it's a mutual recognition of each other
37:02Anyway, so there's a bit where they, like, they sit and have coffee, and have tea, and talk about stuff
37:06I'm going on, I apologise
37:08Anyway, so, Al Pacino, at one point, Al Pacino says this, he goes, uh
37:12So, we're sitting here, like a couple of regular fellas, I mean, uh
37:23You do what you do, I do what I gotta do
37:28If I'm there, and I gotta put you away, I won't like it
37:35But if it's between you, and some poor bastard, whose wife you're gonna turn into a widow
37:44Brother, you are going down
37:48And then, and then, and so then, and then it cut, and then Michael Mann cuts back to the esteemed gentleman at the end of the sofa
37:57What if you do got me boxed in
38:09I'm not gonna put you down
38:12Moving face to face
38:15Yeah
38:16But I will not hesitate
38:18Not for a second
38:21That's my
38:22This is so, this is, so meta
38:31I feel like I've gone into a parallel universe, where, um, I, I, I
38:36You're playing all these puzzles
38:37Yes, I apologise
38:38Oh, that's great
38:39Are you the president, Ken Branagh?
38:40That was my favourite scene, the movie
38:42Was it your favourite scene?
38:43Yeah
38:44It's a great
38:44Still
38:45Yeah
38:45No, listen, we're, Tom, actually, one of them has been lovely to face
38:51You are famous being lovely to fans, uh, that you, you're very nice, you go see it
38:54I try
38:55I agree
38:56Yeah, no, you're very good
38:57And David, you're a big fan, but someone else in your family is also a very big fan
39:00Yes, my mum's a big fan, and we were in a restaurant at the River Cafe about, probably about seven years ago
39:05And my mum had drunk a bit too much, and she suddenly felt a bit ill, and I led her outside to the tables, and you were sat at one of the tables
39:12Oh
39:13And she stopped dead, and I had to sort of drag her, like you would a donkey on a beach, away from her
39:18She was so excited to see you
39:20Well, how ill was she? Otherwise, she could have stopped by
39:22She may have thrown up over you
39:23Well, that would not
39:24She's here, she's here to my
39:26She's here to my
39:27Let me see if I can figure out who she is
39:29Hmm
39:30I can, I can see her already, she's blushing, she's smiling, look at her, look at her
39:34Oh my
39:35Look at her, she's gary to go
39:36Come here, love
39:37Come here, darling, I see you
39:38There you are
39:39There you are
39:54Have you been drinking?
39:56You haven't been drinking anything
39:58You're totally sober
39:59Have you been smoking?
40:00No, you haven't been smoking
40:01Alright, alright
40:02He's a good mum, isn't she?
40:05Look at your boy, are you not proud of your lad down there?
40:08I am very proud
40:09Forty-two million books have been sold
40:11One of these days, he just might win an Oscar
40:15Very lovely, very lovely
40:20Very lovely
40:21Aw
40:23I didn't like that
40:25Thank you so much, that's so kind of you
40:27She's a, she's a good mum, you've got a very good mum
40:31Very good mum
40:32Very good mum
40:33He says that
40:34Maybe I might get a nose
40:37No respect for your mum
40:40So would you look for just matching some pictures of otters?
40:43Yeah, I would turn the favour
40:44And then it'll go really viral
40:46Okay
40:47And it'll be great
40:48You'll be amazing
40:49People are like the viral pictures of me and an otter will go and see a film about a violent gangster
40:53Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
40:55You know how this works
40:56Yeah
40:57I'm sort of scared of otters
40:59Not after that you won't be
41:00Well actually, this first otter
41:02This first otter I'm afraid
41:03Does it explore
41:04It's the dark side of the otter kingdom
41:06This is angry otter
41:08This is angry otter
41:13It makes you love otter
41:14Can you do that?
41:15Can you do that?
41:16Try it
41:17It's good
41:18It's good
41:19It's good
41:20Excellent
41:25Okay
41:26This next one is also a slightly aggressive otter
41:29It's a bit fisty
41:30It's a bit like
41:31Yeah
41:32Yada
41:33Other way
41:34Other
41:36These are good
41:38These are good
41:39These are good
41:40Now
41:41They start to get more challenging
41:42I hope I start to get more challenging
41:43I hope I start to get more challenging
41:45What the hell
41:46Can you
41:47Can you attempt that?
41:48Yeah
41:49Okay
41:50Um
41:51So
41:52Tongue that way
41:53A mirror thing
41:54So I go to that
41:55It's the other way
41:56I guess it's really weird
41:57Very good
42:00Very good
42:01Now
42:02This
42:03This is
42:04This is an opportunity for
42:05This is an opportunity
42:06This is a casting for
42:07My next role as an otter
42:08You're in it
42:10You're the star
42:11Yeah
42:12This is an opportunity for
42:13Myself and Johnny to channel our inner otter
42:16This is a nice three shot
42:22If you lean in, I'll lean in
42:23Yeah, exactly
42:24Okay, I'll lean in
42:25To me
42:26You're in the middle
42:27You're in the middle
42:28You're in the middle
42:29You're in the middle
42:30You're in the middle
42:31You're in the middle
42:32What's the face on the other?
42:33Okay, okay
42:34Okay
42:35Okay
42:36Adorable
42:37Adorable
42:38Now
42:39So
42:40So we thought
42:41Oh that's right
42:42But then
42:43Then
42:44We found this picture
42:45We found this picture of an otter
42:46Look at this
42:47Okay, look at this
42:48Now
42:49Let's have a close up
42:50Of the face
42:51Of the
42:52You've never seen a happier creature on planet earth
42:53This otter is
42:54With his new teddy bear
42:55The teddy bear doesn't look very
42:57No
42:58The teddy bear is quite depressed
43:00I've been given to a mammal
43:02I sent out the command
43:05I picked up my phone
43:06And I went
43:07We'll need a big teddy bear
43:08Now
43:09However
43:10The big
43:11The word big
43:12Is quite relative
43:13Yeah
43:14It's a really
43:15Enormous teddy bear
43:16Really
43:17It's over there
43:22Wow
43:26Right
43:27This is
43:28This is
43:29This is
43:30This is
43:31This is
43:32Don't do it
43:33Don't do it
43:34Don't do it
43:35Isn't that amazing?
43:39That was genius
43:40No
43:41No
43:42That is genius
43:43You always wanted to do something
43:44Oh
43:45Oh
43:46Oh
43:47Oh
43:48It's
43:49It's just
43:50There's something
43:51I don't know
43:52There's something about it
43:53That makes me want to
43:54Kind of do
43:55Oh
43:56Oh
43:57Oh
43:58Oh
43:59Oh
44:00Oh
44:01Oh
44:02Oh
44:03Oh
44:04Oh
44:05Oh
44:06Oh
44:07Oh
44:08Oh
44:09Oh
44:10Oh
44:11Oh
44:12Oh
44:15Oh
44:16Oh
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