- 5 days ago
Waiting.for.the.Out.2026.S01E01
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00:00um what about lunch well I mean do you go out is there um is there a canteen or
00:09well is there a pret nearby not even a pret um no no no no Jamie um no I'm not nervous I just
00:25well I don't know it's a new job well I mean you're used to that place for me it's well it's not new
00:33exactly but it's um well it's newish um I'm totally fine yeah yeah oh um there is one other thing I
00:44wanted to ask um should I take any precautions or well I don't know I mean it's a prison so
00:53I suppose I'm just asking how safe is it
00:56yeah I'll take these okay do you want to wear them out I can bin these if you want no no I'm going on a
01:20date later tonight sorry right in these
01:24yeah no um um bin those
01:28is it the same girl I met yeah yeah Jess she's nice wow emotional I mean I'm tearing up what is it
01:53two months now it's long term for you in it oh god look at him he's doing his shit oh god I love
01:59that expression look at it like a concentration how'd you get that one Lee
02:09yeah that's that's where the knife came out oh bloody hell it's a father and son I owed him money
02:19I remember waking up in this empty industrial kitchen I saw him and then I had the sound of
02:24the knife sharpening oh my god fuck daddy says right where do you want to get stabbed I'm like
02:29well no fucking where and then he swings a knife like that and he says I said where do you want
02:33to get fucking stabbed I said my leg what you said the leg then he just fucking yeah he shoved it
02:39right up to the handle no it weren't too bad at first I looked down I thought it felt like getting
02:43punched but then the son he runs over and he kicks it oh my god I like screamed my guts out
02:50they start panicking they're shatting they're gonna cut my throat if I don't stop I can't I
02:54physically cannot stop screaming right and yeah like my face is saying yeah I know I'm sorry it's
02:59mad then it but but my mouth is like you're welcome then they dump me on some estate
03:05pass out and I wake up cruel and pass out wake up cruel and then one time I wake up and I'm in
03:13hospital don't know how you're still here oh he's a reason I'm still here little man do you want to
03:21look at his poo absolutely yeah does it scare you being a dad I'm three years clean down no no I
03:35don't mean that I mean you know our upbringing now why I see every generation gets its chance to
03:44change you know me and you we're ours hmm can I ask you something mm-hmm why'd you get a fucking job
03:54in prison well it's just a job because me no dad dad no fuck no no god no not seen for 25 years if
04:08it was another 25 that's still be too soon
04:10and why well I don't know do you think I'd be a good dad yeah yeah you'd be a great dad why
04:29just wondering
04:31that is not a good idea no but if I could just widen the um the toe cap see there's there's like a
04:57steel bit I'm just gonna try and widen
05:04Dan Dan that is gonna go horribly wrong oh fuck oh I think I've been the cap fuck feels like it's
05:15blade in there oh okay this would really reflect very well on you right now have you resisted the
05:22temptation to say I told you say yeah mm-hmm no stop what that I need to finish this yeah but if you
05:33give me sex then the prisoners might respect me oh I think your um lady toe cap boots will achieve that
05:39yeah you're gonna go into the office today yeah yeah I am in the morning and then I'm I'm going to the IVF
05:53clinic oh right okay Dan I did tell you no no I know you did like on our first day it was it was quite up front yeah you were no I know you were you were I just thought so who's the dad donor not dad never met him he's um he's mid-twenties got dark hair athletic
06:11apparently oh an athlete oh nice are you jealous of a man I've literally never met yeah still I feel
06:30like if I ever met him I'd have to beat the living shit out of him hey
06:41so what about like me
06:43as the donor
06:46I could be a dad no it's something it is something that I've thought about a lot we've known each other
06:52for eight weeks I've thought about it lots ever since you first mentioned it I I feel like maybe
06:56now maybe now what well I don't know some woman you've slept with six times is trying to have a
07:02baby you decided she's the one no not the one oh not the one just a one a one with a reproductive
07:08system is this because your brother's had a baby no it's I just can't we just take some time to think
07:14about it no no the embryo is at blastocyst it's ready to go in today what time's your appointment
07:21is it 3 15 okay call and sick stay here think about it and and if we both think it's worth a
07:28go then we can go this is not a game no no okay Jess honestly ever since you first told me about it I
07:34haven't been able to think about anything else and I have wanted to mention it I just didn't know how
07:38I didn't know that it was coming up this quick I just know that you're going to make an amazing mum
07:45so maybe we could do it together try it together
07:50and if we don't work out you can just sue me for child support
07:55oh see I don't need to see you for child support do I
07:58it's joking because I mean literally five times your salary yeah okay yeah
08:02I get a little break at lunch today at 12
08:05call you then
08:08you'll call me
08:13yep midday I'll call
08:16you
08:29you
08:32you
08:34you
08:37you
08:41I don't know what it is.
09:11Alright, thank you.
09:41Sorry, I have taken quite an important call today at 12.
09:52Well, you're down to finish at 1.45.
09:55Right, I can't do my phone in.
09:57What, in there? In that prison?
10:01Can I come back here?
10:03I'd have to sign you out and back in again.
10:05Look, ask your duty officer during your break.
10:07Maybe they can arrange an escort back.
10:09It is quite an important call.
10:11Ask your duty officer, okay?
10:27I did leave my phone in the locker, didn't I?
10:29I don't know. Did you leave your phone in your locker?
10:33Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good, I did.
10:37Don't mess around with that.
10:39Phone past here is automatic prosecution.
10:41Automatic.
10:43Yeah.
10:45No, I did, I did, I put it in.
10:47I put it in.
10:49I've got a check.
10:51No.
10:52Yeah.
10:53Oh, no.
10:57Oh, no, no, no.
10:59Mm, I didn't even need to do this.
11:00I think I'm just going to do this.
11:01You need to do this.
11:02Yeah, ready to go, to do it.
11:05Yeah.
11:06I'm just going to be able to do it.
11:08I'm just going to have to get this one.
11:11Yeah, I'm going to have to go, to do it.
11:13I'm just going to have to do it.
12:46These are men.
12:48They won't get you, boy.
12:51These are fucking men.
12:57Dad?
12:59Hey.
13:01You coming in or what?
13:02Yeah.
13:09Are you okay?
13:11Yeah, yeah.
13:12Justin, your shoes.
13:13Oh, you poor love.
13:14Oh, fuck off.
13:16Jamie, it hurts.
13:16So, first day.
13:21Yeah.
13:22It's going to be fine.
13:23I think I'm really going to respond to you.
13:25Now, I don't know how many there'll be.
13:27It could be four.
13:27It could be 14.
13:28It depends what's happening on the landings.
13:30But I looked over your lesson plan, and I think it's really good.
13:33Cool.
13:33I took the liberty of drugging and visual aids up here for two years.
13:39No.
13:40No, I want to change it, Jamie.
13:43Make it easier.
13:45These men, I want them to get me.
13:48These men, I want them to get me.
14:18Maybe you could introduce yourselves as you enter?
14:23Hey.
14:24I'm Malik.
14:25Marker?
14:25No.
14:26I already came in, boss.
14:27I'll go out and come back in again.
14:29What are we doing?
14:30I'm introducing ourselves as we enter.
14:35Hey, where are you going?
14:36You need to go out and come back in again, boss.
14:38Sorry, no, that's not what I am.
14:40Once they're in, please keep them in, please.
14:42Okay.
14:43Pleasure to make your acquaintance.
14:45Junior.
14:46Come and hunt your good night, yeah?
14:48No more circus tricks, please.
14:56Um...
14:56So...
15:04Do we just start, or...?
15:07Okay, I, um, would like to begin with a problem that's been around for a very long time.
15:21Um, what makes you, you?
15:26Is the you from ten years ago the same you that sits in this room now?
15:31You know, because you're in fucking prison.
15:34Traditionally, there are two schools of thought on this.
15:37There's the Cartesians.
15:38There's the Cartesians.
15:39Um, Cartesian just means...
15:43Actually, don't worry about what Cartesian means.
15:47It just means...
15:48Um...
15:50Of the philosopher Descartes, um, René Descartes, 1596.
15:58It's...
15:59It's soul.
16:00Um, the first answer to what makes you, you, is your soul.
16:05But that is not a...
16:06It's not a very satisfactory answer.
16:10Um...
16:10What is a soul?
16:12Do we even really have a soul?
16:15I do.
16:16And so the other answer...
16:17I've got a soul.
16:18...is matter.
16:20How else would I have a relationship with our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ?
16:24Body.
16:25It's your material.
16:27And that is called materialism.
16:30Um, but bodies change.
16:33You know, your cells replace entirely every eight years.
16:37And so materialism's no good either, right?
16:38But then, um, Locke comes along and John, John Locke, John Locke,
16:43and his key insight was memory.
16:46Your memory connects...
16:48No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
16:51That's not right.
16:52Excuse me?
16:53That is not what Locke said.
16:56John Locke was talking about consciousness.
16:58No fucking memory.
16:59Which is a total load of bollocks if you ask me.
17:02So, say ten years ago I stabbed someone, right?
17:06And I've got a shitty brief and I've got a 14 stretch.
17:08Well, according to Locke, the only reason this current me is in prison
17:12is because of some ephemeral thing called consciousness,
17:15which may or may not exist.
17:17Well, how is that any different from the Cartesian chacan?
17:20Fuck you, Locke.
17:22I'll take materialism all day.
17:25Hmm?
17:26Materialism's real.
17:28Materialism earns me my sentence.
17:31That's if I stabbed someone ten years ago.
17:34Which I did.
17:35I'd like us to use this as a talking stick.
17:40Um, a talking stick is...
17:41No, a fucking talking stick is...
17:43See, I think we should be looking at Rousseau, right?
17:47Rousseau tears a lock and you arsehole with stuff.
17:50Have you read the social contract, that first line?
17:53Man is born free, yet everywhere he's in chains.
17:56Now that's a fucking subject.
17:58None of this fucking Lockean self-wank over
18:01Who am I, bollocks?
18:02I mean, grow the fuck up, man!
18:04Okay.
18:05Um...
18:06Oh, here we go.
18:11Do you want to talk about freedom?
18:12Yeah.
18:16Ah, ha, ha.
18:18The Odyssey.
18:19No.
18:21There's our story, boys.
18:22So, Odysseus has to cross the Strait of Messina.
18:28But on the rocks live the sirens.
18:31Terrifying half-bird creatures
18:33who sing a song so beautiful
18:36that any man who hears it
18:37becomes instantly drunk with love
18:39and swims to them.
18:41Where the sirens feast on his flesh.
18:45The sirens are crack.
18:46Mate, they even live on rocks.
18:50To cross, Odysseus orders his men
18:52to put wax in their ears
18:53and he gets them to tie him to the mast
18:55so that he can say when it's safe.
18:57They set sail.
18:59Odysseus hears the song
19:01and it reaches into his heart.
19:05He begs to be untied.
19:08But the crew carry on.
19:10All except one man
19:11who sees the longing
19:13in Odysseus
19:16and aches to know
19:18what it feels like.
19:21The man takes his wax out
19:22jumps overboard
19:23and is devoured alive.
19:25So, there's
19:27the men with wax in their ears
19:29there's Odysseus
19:30and there's the man
19:32who jumped.
19:35Who
19:35is the most free?
19:37The men with wax in their ears.
19:48Why?
19:51Because they just got on with it.
19:53It's like us, right?
19:56I've got freedoms
19:57that people on the out haven't.
19:59Do not have to pay bills
20:00do not have to go shopping
20:01do not need to have to find a dentist.
20:03I'm totally free of choice.
20:06But doesn't your lack of choice
20:08mean that you're not free?
20:10Two weeks ago
20:10there was a lockdown.
20:1223 hours a day bang up
20:13one hour soch.
20:15Know what I did with my hour?
20:17Stayed in me pad
20:18sat in me bunk
20:19in red
20:20as I could.
20:21That's depressing man.
20:23I'm not like you
20:23always clowning around.
20:25I focus
20:26You focus on what?
20:27The jizz cross
20:28clinging to your wool?
20:29I focus
20:33on my daughter.
20:35I focus
20:36on being a dad.
20:41Every day
20:42I write her a letter.
20:44One letter
20:44every single day.
20:46I want her to know
20:47that she's got a dad
20:48that loves her.
20:49Yeah that's nice
20:50Wallace but
20:51you've got to engage man.
20:54Freedom isn't hiding.
20:55Okay so
20:56Junior
20:57right?
20:58Who do you think
20:59is the most free?
21:01Odysseus
21:01he's a king.
21:04You know
21:04people
21:04have no choice
21:05but to do
21:06what he says.
21:07Yeah?
21:08Them men with the wax
21:08in their ears
21:09they're just foot soldiers.
21:11You have to rise
21:12and excel.
21:13I agree with that.
21:15Life's about
21:16being something
21:16not waiting.
21:17Not even a dad
21:18you don't know
21:18what life's about.
21:19Yet
21:20I'm not a dad.
21:22Yet
21:2221 weeks come.
21:27My son?
21:28I do know
21:30what life's about.
21:32Junior borrowed me
21:33some of his business books.
21:34Fucking amazing.
21:36I'm going to provide
21:36for my boy.
21:38Free your mind.
21:39Free your circumstance.
21:41Then
21:41free the cash.
21:44Alec though
21:44that fetus is on the outside
21:45and you're in here.
21:46For now
21:47my brief says
21:48I've got a very good chance
21:49of overturning sentencing.
21:50I'll tell you all right now.
21:52I'll be holding my boy
21:53as he takes his first breath
21:55and right there and then
21:56I'm going to write him
21:57a cheque for
21:57ten million pounds
21:58to be cashed
22:00on his tenth birthday.
22:01You haven't got a cheque book?
22:04A fucking postal order then.
22:06One could look at it
22:08from a neuroscientific perspective.
22:10You know
22:10quantum mechanics.
22:12Zach
22:12Who do you think
22:13is most free?
22:14Hey
22:14Hey
22:14Hold on
22:15I've got the talking
22:16fucking bag.
22:17Sorry
22:17Zach
22:18Easy
22:19It's the man what jumped.
22:21Yeah but he was
22:22under a spell Zach.
22:23Yeah
22:23which he chose
22:24to give in to.
22:25See all the rest
22:26have either got wax in their ears
22:27or they're tied to their sticks.
22:28Yeah
22:28You think that's freedom?
22:29Nah
22:30The jumper
22:31takes one look
22:32at the beautiful bird women
22:33and he says
22:34fuck the consequence.
22:35I want that.
22:36So in that moment
22:37he is free.
22:38It's no wonder
22:39you're in a cell.
22:40You're in a fucking cell
22:41as well Wallace
22:42you ain't better than me.
22:44He can't even say
22:44as addiction is.
22:46What is this?
22:46Nah
22:47the crack
22:47or women?
22:49It's cracks of women
22:50and crack.
22:56I'm doing a five year
22:58remote learning course
22:58on environmental construction.
23:00Environmental
23:01construction.
23:02Me little girl
23:04she did a paper
23:05for exams
23:06all about
23:06how to build
23:07in sustainable ways.
23:09Got the paper
23:09up on me wall.
23:12Proper little
23:13environmentalist she is.
23:15When I get out
23:16I'm gonna help her.
23:18You wouldn't believe
23:19the things you can do
23:19with straw these days.
23:22And you
23:23you chat about
23:24loving rock
23:25hmm
23:26about loving pussy.
23:28That's now
23:29compared to the love
23:29that a dar has
23:30for his daughter.
23:30Yeah man
23:33we all got fucking
23:34doers.
23:36Fatherhood
23:36that's real freedom
23:38but it's no fucking
23:40joke.
23:40can you go in to Tesco's
23:48and get a mill deal?
23:50Well
23:50you don't
23:51as I can need
23:51bitcoin to spend
23:52three pound
23:53mate.
23:54How do you know
23:54you've really got it then?
23:56How do you know
23:56you've got the money
23:57in your account right now?
23:58It's all digital.
23:59Yeah but how do you
24:00do it with bitcoin then?
24:01It's not all about bitcoin.
24:02How long is this break
24:03going to last?
24:04It's not a fake
24:04Ethereum.
24:05It lasts as long as
24:06you need multiple accounts.
24:07You know this stuff
24:09can get you
24:09each of a Rolex
24:10in the next six months
24:11guaranteed.
24:12Where's your Rolex then?
24:13Just waiting for me
24:14on the other side
24:15of Endeavor.
24:15Christ
24:16I think I just
24:17threw up my mouth.
24:18I'm going to have to
24:19sit tight
24:19there's been an incident.
24:20Well uh
24:21sorry
24:21what kind of incident?
24:23Some idiot got served
24:23as divorce papers
24:24so he's jumped on the net.
24:25We've got to wait
24:26for the tornado team.
24:27Okay
24:27but I
24:28I have to make a phone call.
24:30Oh wow
24:31well
24:32why didn't you say?
24:33An idiot on the net
24:36shuts us down.
24:37Look I'm sorry
24:38it's really important.
24:44Put it here.
24:53So what's it for?
24:55Philosophy.
24:56Oh
24:57well
24:57philosophy
24:58is
24:59ancient Greek.
25:00No but what
25:00can you do with it?
25:01What job do you have?
25:03Well
25:04this one.
25:11So
25:11who do you think
25:12is most free
25:13in the siren story?
25:15None of them.
25:16That's why it's called
25:16freedom.
25:18Only an idiot
25:19would believe in freedom.
25:24Well
25:24are you coming?
25:27Yes.
25:29Hey
25:29hey
25:30you can fuck off
25:41you can't get my business.
25:42Get me wife on the phone.
25:51Make this quick yeah?
25:52the tornado team gets antsy
25:54you won't be able to get back in.
25:55No, no, no.
26:25What are you doing?
26:48Sorry, the, um, the, the switch was on.
26:52They just called through, um, they're closing the landing.
26:55You have to get back in there now.
27:09Hi, it's Jess, leave a message.
27:11Hey Jess, it's me, it's Dan.
27:13Um, look, I'm sorry that I didn't get to call earlier.
27:16There was, um, there was someone on the net.
27:19Um, look, I've, uh, I've got to go back in now.
27:22But, um, don't, don't do it.
27:26The implantation.
27:28Please, call them up and cancel it and do it with me instead.
27:31Okay?
27:32I'll meet you there at 3.15 and I'll do tests
27:35and we can start the process together.
27:39Okay, I know this sounds mad, but I, I don't know, I mean this.
27:46I'm serious about it.
27:48Okay.
28:09Come on, come on, come on, come on.
28:10What are you doing?
28:19Sorry, I had to do the thing.
28:21Yeah.
28:28Oh my God!
28:29Oh my God!
28:31Oh, you came back!
28:49Round two, here we go!
28:52Why don't we go?
28:54Why don't we go?
28:55Why don't we go?
29:00What?
29:01Zeus wanted to punish Epimetheus for giving fire to humans, so he gave a beautiful box
29:21to his wife, Pandora.
29:23She opened it, and seven evils flew out.
29:27Hatred, shame, greed, boredom, laziness, delusion and pain, but then a voice inside called
29:39out.
29:40Pandora opened it once again, and hope flew out.
29:54If you could put one evil back in the box, what would it be?
29:59Hope.
30:00Now fuck the evils, put hope back in the box.
30:02Yeah, put it in right now.
30:04You hurt, Manny?
30:12Just call my brief.
30:13I lost my right to appeal.
30:16What?
30:17How?
30:18They didn't submit the paperwork on time.
30:21But the day it had to be in by was 8-5-25.
30:248th of May.
30:25But hear what?
30:26Her new assistant's American?
30:28These pricks read dates backwards or something.
30:31What's 8-5-25 in American, then?
30:335th of August.
30:34Too late.
30:35The appeal's dead.
30:36What?
30:37That's just it?
30:38It's gone, done.
30:39It's gone, done.
30:40Okay.
30:41That's not fair.
30:42Fair.
30:43We are the address.
30:44Dan, that shit is standard.
30:45I had, like, 12 minutes with my brief before we go in, yeah?
30:48He says my name wrong three times.
30:50Man went at the wrong courtroom.
30:51I feel like I just want to fucking kill someone, you know?
30:55I just want to beat someone's fucking fucking face in.
31:00Last year, I had, um, I had a parole year in.
31:08And I'd done everything right.
31:10I was on every programme, kept my enhanced, the whole stretch.
31:14Model con, I was.
31:16It took six minutes.
31:19No.
31:21So I went on hunger strike.
31:24My hope was dead.
31:26See?
31:27Then, after a couple of days, two kids on my landing.
31:32They noticed I hadn't eaten.
31:34They brought a plate to my door.
31:38And I started hoping again.
31:40There's too many decent people around to not hope.
31:45Alec.
31:46You're still gonna be a dad, okay?
31:48I can't take that from you.
31:49You're still gonna be a dad.
31:50They didn't fucking take it from me!
31:52Aye, aye, aye, aye.
31:57Sanitised.
32:00You've sanitised it.
32:02It reeks of Dettotan, and you know it.
32:04That is not the myth of Pandora.
32:06I'm not sure this is our time.
32:08The earliest most accepted version of the myth of Pandora is found in Hesseoid,
32:11who tells us it's Prometheus who steals fire.
32:14Not Epimetheus.
32:15Look, I really don't think...
32:16And it's not what Pandora releases that's a punishment, it's Pandora herself.
32:21Pandora is the first woman fashioned of clay by the gods.
32:24Clear is actually a very sustainable build of material.
32:27What the fuck has that got to do with anything?
32:29What Dan so assiduously omits is that Pandora is made of the selfsame clay that the jar is made of.
32:35What jar?
32:36The jar with the spirits in.
32:37You said they were in a box.
32:38Were they fucking a box?
32:39Right, well, look, box is a mistranslation, but people commonly refer to it as...
32:43As if it's a jar, just say it's a jar.
32:45The vessel doesn't matter, Junior.
32:47It's what's inside the cabinet.
32:48Only the vessel does matter, though, doesn't it, Dan?
32:50Because a jar is made of clay, and a box is not.
32:54Very low on carbon emissions as well.
32:56Clear.
32:57Trounces concrete.
32:58It ain't that kind of clay, Wally.
33:00Dan is deliberately choosing to sell us the false version.
33:03False.
33:04Right, right.
33:05Why am I doing that, Keith?
33:06Because of what the myth is really saying.
33:08The jar and Pandora are one and the same.
33:11Ergo, it says, woman is the cause of all man's health.
33:14OK, you think I'm scared to debate women with you?
33:17I think you've been inoculated by the moors of the current political climb,
33:20in all due respect.
33:22I think you're a coward.
33:23You don't know anything about me.
33:25Your fucking hair tells me all I need to know about you, Bill.
33:28OK, all right.
33:29So you think that women are responsible for the ills of society?
33:32Well, take a look at these boys here.
33:34Hmm?
33:35Do you think any of them's inside because they went on some level trying to impress a girl?
33:40That cunt there wants to kill.
33:43Did you not get the memo, Daniel?
33:46We're all toxic.
33:48We're a gender in retreat, and we in here, the most menish of men,
33:53we're the sharp end.
33:54Our relevance evaporating whilst we shank each other in the showers,
33:57and you want to come here and start talking about spirits and ghosties?
34:00I mean, you're wanking while Rome burns, man!
34:03You're fucking killing us!
34:04What, me personally, or...?
34:05Well, I don't blame women.
34:06They're taking what's theirs.
34:08It's the likes of you.
34:14With your oat milks and your moisturised elbows,
34:18waxing your arseholes, keeping your balls all nice and shiny.
34:23You deny your masculinity.
34:24You're terrified of it.
34:26Tell me, Dan, do you cover your eyes when you take a piss?
34:29Look, OK.
34:30All right.
34:31Look, Keith, have I said something to upset you?
34:33You are rippling with shame, man!
34:35Appalled by the undeniable, hardwired instinct deep within your soul
34:39that just wants you to roll around in a big pile of fucking titties!
34:42Now we are talking!
34:43OK, you want to talk about women?
34:45OK.
34:46In ancient Greece, women couldn't vote, they couldn't own land,
34:48they couldn't inherit, they could legally be murdered for infidelity,
34:50and then that society has the gall to create a myth,
34:53blaming them for all the world's ills.
34:55And that society's where ours comes from.
34:56So, yeah, Keith, undoing that, I'm all for it.
34:58Oh, lovely, Daniel.
34:59What a wonderful human being you are.
35:01I mean, give the man a pickle.
35:03Turns out he's an expert on Greek society,
35:05yet he can't remember that a box is a fucking jar!
35:07You wanted a debate about women?
35:09No, no, no, no.
35:10You did.
35:12You're the one who brought in Pandora,
35:14you brought in the sirens.
35:16What are you trying to force on us here?
35:18The future has a vaginal tint,
35:20we should all go and fucking kill ourselves, is that it?
35:22Because that's all I hear these days.
35:25Don't be you.
35:28Don't be you, don't be you, just...
35:31Don't be you.
35:33Well, what the fuck should I be?
35:37Eh?
35:40Women have got us on the ropes,
35:42and good luck to them, they deserve it.
35:44But you see, when I get a battering,
35:46I'll punch back.
35:48Excellent installation properties as well, Claire.
35:50Excellent, of course.
35:51This ain't about your fucking daughter, Wallace!
35:53Aye, it is.
35:54He's talking shit about women.
35:56What the fuck do you think my little girl's gonna grow into?
35:58Grow into?
35:59She's already a grown-ass woman.
36:02That's what she already is.
36:03She's already a grown-ass woman.
36:04We all know that.
36:05Little girl.
36:06She hasn't been a little girl in years.
36:08We've all seen the essay up on your wall, yeah?
36:10It's been up there for donkeys.
36:12A tatty fucking thing it is, yeah?
36:14You write every day, big man, yeah?
36:16He's writing to his little girl.
36:17Okay.
36:18You write it, she don't read it.
36:20Not once has she sent you anything back.
36:22What is she like, 25 now, 28?
36:24She wrote that for her fucking GCSEs, Wallace!
36:27She's forgot about that crap now!
36:29Just like she forgot about you, rotten ear.
36:32Dead to her.
36:34What?
36:35Don't you fucking dare!
36:36Fucking hell, man!
36:37Fucking fuck!
36:38Your boots leaking, boss.
36:39Is that blood?
36:40Is that blood?
36:41Is that blood?
36:42Is that blood?
36:43Is that blood?
36:44Is that blood?
36:45It's your blood, Daniel.
36:46He ripped off a toenail.
36:48Are you serious?
36:49Yeah.
36:50I can see the bone.
36:51You gonna need stitches.
36:52Oh, my god.
36:53Hmm?
36:54Is that blood? Is that blood?
36:56It's your blood, Daniel.
37:01He ripped off a toenail.
37:04Are you serious?
37:05Yeah.
37:06I can see the bone.
37:08You're going to need stitches.
37:09Oh, my God.
37:14Okay, look, I need to be somewhere.
37:16A&E's where you need to be.
37:19All right, the circus is over.
37:21Come on, rest of you. Back to yourselves.
37:22Well, I have to show you, I really enjoyed that.
37:26Same time next week.
37:29Box is another word for Fanny.
37:33Pandora's Fanny.
37:34Nobody mentioned it, but that could play into the whole female thing.
37:40What's the right answer?
37:43Which one of the spirits go back in the box?
37:46There isn't a right answer.
37:47Then what's the point in asking a fucking question?
38:07I do, I do really need to be somewhere.
38:09You need stitches.
38:10I'm checking you out, then I'm taking you to A&E.
38:13Can I just patch it up?
38:14No, I cannot just patch it up.
38:17All right, hang on a minute.
38:18Oh, wait, just, just, just hold on.
38:20I, um...
38:22Okay.
38:25I need to be at an IVF clinic.
38:29It's to donate semen, I think.
38:31You think?
38:33Yeah.
38:35It's, it's complicated.
38:36I need, I need to make a phone call, and then...
38:41I, I don't know, I fucking know, I don't know.
38:45I'll tell you what.
38:47I'll take you to your phone, you make the call.
38:49If you need to be at the clinic, I'll take you there.
38:52Once you've flung it out, then I'll take you to A&E.
38:55Then a psychiatrist.
38:57Then a fucking life coach or something, I don't know.
38:59Okay.
39:29Dad, Daddy, Dad!
39:56Oh, thanks, Jamie.
40:05Sam?
40:06Jess.
40:07Hey.
40:08I'm really sorry that we didn't get to speak.
40:12It's been a bit mad, to be honest.
40:16It's OK.
40:17No, honestly, Jess, I'm really sorry.
40:21It's OK, really?
40:22No, it's not.
40:23That's not what I'm apologising for.
40:27I, um...
40:32I don't think that can be a doubt.
40:36Sorry.
40:37I'm not ready.
40:38You're not ready?
40:40Yeah.
40:41Um...
40:46Jess?
40:48But you left the message.
40:51You said to cancel the implantation.
40:54You know, they don't just put it back in the freezer, right?
40:57You know, cancelling is destroying.
40:59Yeah.
41:00Look, um...
41:03Jess, I'm so sorry.
41:04I really haven't meant to mess you around here.
41:06I just think...
41:07I think that, um...
41:09I think that maybe you're right.
41:11Maybe, you know, maybe it's got something to do with my brother, or something like that,
41:14you know?
41:15Um...
41:16Yeah.
41:22Jess, I'm so sorry.
41:25Fucking...
41:26Sorry.
41:27I had the implantation.
41:34What?
41:35Yeah, there was a cancellation.
41:37They called and said if I was in by 10, I could have the slot.
41:40It was all done and dusted by 10.20.
41:49So it's in there now?
41:51The athletes?
41:52It's not his, Dan.
41:54It's mine.
41:55Can I just ask?
42:03Why didn't you want me?
42:06It's not that I don't want you.
42:09It's that I don't need you.
42:25You're coming?
42:26Hey.
42:27You bleed in my fucking car and I'm cutting open the other foot.
42:31You hear me?
42:32You hear me?
42:33Thanks for being with me here today.
42:34I'm really...
42:35You're coming?
42:43Hey, you're bleeding my fucking car and I'm cutting open the other foot.
42:47You hear me?
43:01Thanks for being with me here today.
43:02I really appreciate you doing this.
43:05It's all right.
43:06I mean, I couldn't let you come here alone.
43:09That's very kind.
43:11No, no, I mean, I couldn't let you come here alone.
43:13I'm not allowed to.
43:15You bled in the prison.
43:16I was the officer on scene.
43:17It's my name on the accident report.
43:27Sorry you're not going to be a dad.
43:32Yeah, probably for the best.
43:37My dad was a nightmare.
43:38I probably shouldn't pass that on.
43:40Nightmare how?
43:42A lot of time in prison, for one.
43:44Really?
43:45Hmm.
43:46So how come you're like this?
43:51A fucking philosopher, Dan.
43:55Well, my mum left him when I was nine.
44:00She remarried.
44:02And I got away from him.
44:07I got out.
44:10Ended up doing this.
44:11You were totally shit today.
44:18You got the men all riled up, didn't have any control that I could see, and then you bled on the floor.
44:23I mean, you actually bled on the floor.
44:29But they liked what you did.
44:32They liked the lesson.
44:33They can't say that they did, but they did.
44:40You don't need these, okay?
44:41Next time, just wear trainers.
44:49Do you still see your dad now?
44:55No.
44:56No, I don't see him anymore.
44:57No.
45:03No.
45:32No.
45:32Amen.
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