- 4 weeks ago
Two.Doors.Down.S07E100.2025.Christmas.Special
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00:00You got it? Yep.
00:01You sure you're okay now? It's quite heavy.
00:04I'm fine.
00:06Listen, I'm just thinking.
00:08Shall we get the Christmas tree down while I'm up here?
00:11Yes, alright. I suppose we could.
00:13Right, I'll pass it down to you. Ready?
00:15Give me a minute!
00:20Just wash yourself with it.
00:21Yes, alright, Eric. I'm not totally useless.
00:30Everything okay?
00:32Yep, all fine.
00:51Do you not think it's a bit early to put it up?
00:54I mean, it's not even December yet.
00:55It's fine. Who's got to notice?
01:00Miss Dean, that's me definitely going.
01:05Going where?
01:06To Ireland. For God's sake, Beth, do you not listen to a thing I tell you?
01:11Of course I do. We're in the middle of a big clear art and I'm just a wee bit busy.
01:15Right, okay. I'll come in and I'll talk you through the arrangements.
01:19I cannot stay long.
01:22Right.
01:25You putting your Christmas tree up?
01:28It's a bit early, is it, no?
01:29Yes, well, we were up in the loft anyway, so we just thought we might as well.
01:35Oh, you see, I always follow what the church does and they put it up twelve days before.
01:41No, you're thinking a twelfth night. That's when you take it down.
01:45Yes, a church puts theirs up on the first Sunday of December.
01:49Do they?
01:49Well, that's awful early.
01:52I think I'll have to have a word with Father Haggerty about that.
01:55I don't think it was ever up that early on Father Kowalski's day, but he really was a religious man.
02:03Where is it he is now?
02:04Being Kew in its hill.
02:07But I don't think I'll bother putting up a tree this year, what with me not being here.
02:11What's this?
02:12I'm going to visit my cousin Dervla in Ireland for Christmas, Eric.
02:16Oh, it's fantastic, Christine. It's so nice that they made contact with you.
02:20Oh, I know, Beth.
02:22And to think if Dervla hadn't sent that saliva sample off to Ancestry.com, we might never have known that we were related.
02:30Imagine if she'd had a dry mouth that day.
02:36Whereabouts are they?
02:37County Galway, Eric.
02:39Oh.
02:39I get the train to Stronra, a ferry to Larn, a bus into Belfast and then coach down to Galway.
02:47Oh, bet you'd trek that.
02:49So, will it be Dervla's whole family?
02:51Oh, yes.
02:52Her husband, Owen, now he's got his own plumbing business, so I will be looking forward to her bath.
02:58Oh, that's definitely on the list.
03:01And then there's our twin girls, Maeve and Aoife.
03:04It'll be nice to meet them, because they're actually my, what is it, my first cousins?
03:11No, no, no. Second.
03:13Oh, aye. I'm forgetting they're twins.
03:16Well, you'll have a great time, I'm sure.
03:19Oh, I hope so, Eric. I must say I'm looking forward to it.
03:23Although it will be strange not being at home on Christmas Day.
03:28I know you're always keen to have me in here, Beth, so I do feel a bit guilty that I might be letting you down.
03:36Are you sure you're OK with me going?
03:39You're all right.
03:39You'll be fine.
03:40Well, I think it's time we get down to discussing what bag I'm taking, eh?
03:44Ah, well, the thing is, Christine...
03:46Oh, who's this interrupting us?
03:49That's not you get your Christmas tree up already, is it, Beth?
03:59Beth?
03:59Well, I...
04:00It's a bit early, is it, no?
04:02Well, we were up in the loft.
04:03Do you know, just let her do it, Carl.
04:05It'll brighten up that dingy front room.
04:07I suppose so.
04:08It's OK, Beth, that's fine.
04:10If it gives you something to look forward to, that's OK.
04:12Should we go in and see it?
04:13She'll be put out if we don't, do you know what she's like?
04:17Right.
04:18We'll just come in for a minute and see it, Beth.
04:24Apparently, the cooked breakfast on board the Stenna line are excellent, huh?
04:30Irene up the high flats told me they serve a black pudding that is technically illegal on dry land.
04:38Ah, here he is.
04:39We elf here helping you pin your tree up, Beth.
04:42He's far too big for an elf, Colin.
04:45And there's Christine.
04:47How you doing?
04:48Oh, not bad, Colin.
04:50That is me all booked up for Ireland for Christmas.
04:53You're going to Ireland for Christmas, are you?
04:56Oh, yes.
04:56I'm staying with my cousin Devler in Galway.
04:59Oh, that's nice.
05:01You're not going to be here, Christine.
05:03You'll be having a bit of the black stuff over there, eh?
05:06Remember, we went to the Guinness factory when we were in Dublin, Kath.
05:09Oh, God, that place.
05:10Oh, I will not be going back there.
05:12Oh, why not?
05:13Only serve as fucking Guinness.
05:15So is this you getting off set for Christmas, then?
05:18What's the plans?
05:19Oh, well, nothing special.
05:21It's just the two of us, so just, you know, traditional.
05:25Traditional?
05:26Well, you've not made a very good start putting your tree up this fucking early.
05:29And what about you two?
05:31Do you know what you're doing?
05:32We're going to that same hotel again on Christmas Day, because we quite like it, don't we?
05:37It's really festive how they decorate it all.
05:39And you get steak instead of turkey, a cocktail instead of Christmas pudding, and there's a massive smoking section out by the nativity.
05:47The problem we've got is we don't know what presents to get.
05:50Well, I'm fine just with money.
05:53No, I mean, for each other.
05:55Yeah, we're not getting you anything, Eric.
05:57See, we've already caught everything, haven't we?
06:00Oh, poor you, right enough.
06:01I always get called in pants for Christmas, but I can't get any more in the drawer.
06:05No.
06:06And you can't exactly take the old ones to the charity shop, can you?
06:09No, they don't take them.
06:11Well, certainly the British Heart Foundation don't.
06:14Though Irene did tell me about a website where there seems to be quite a lot of interest.
06:20We were just going up to the charity shop once we'd finished the tree.
06:24Are you getting yourself something, Beth?
06:26Well, it is finished, really, apart from turning on the lights.
06:29OK, then, let's see the big switch on.
06:32Come on, Eric, I'll puff your fat arse.
06:37Here, Beth, this reminds me of that time we saw Marty Perlow switch on the lights in Clyde Bank.
06:43Do you remember that, Beth?
06:44I do.
06:45I'm not actually sure whether he was on the heroin at that point, because we were quite far back, you know.
06:51Right, we all ready?
06:52Aye.
06:53Yeah.
06:53Come on, Eric.
06:54Come on, Eric.
06:55Well, you know, you can always stop by the dump as well.
07:12I don't know how much longer I'm going to manage getting in and out of this seat, Alan.
07:15You're about to start getting in the back?
07:17No, I mean, you might not get a card or get on my insurance or something.
07:21Aye.
07:21Right, right, right.
07:22I'm really starting to struggle on the stairs as well.
07:25You may be chucked to Jim too soon.
07:31Look!
07:32Beth's got her Christmas tree up.
07:34Do you think we should go over and say a wee quick hello and see it?
07:39Nah.
07:41We've got a nice picture of us in front of the Oscar Wilde statue in Dublin, haven't we?
07:45Aye.
07:45Oh, you know, my favourite quote of his is when he was going through customs in America
07:50and he said,
07:52I have nothing to declare but my genius.
07:57Well, I prefer the statue of Molly Malone.
08:00You go up, rubber tits brings you luck.
08:02Oh, for God's sake.
08:04It did as well.
08:05We went to Temple Bar after that.
08:07We didn't get hassled by one beggar.
08:12I'll go.
08:13I'll go.
08:15Oh, hello, you two.
08:20Or should that be two and a half?
08:22She's some size new in Cherrick.
08:25Train to Stranraer, ferry to Larn, bus to Belfast, coach to Galway.
08:30My God, I need a flight to Switzerland after that.
08:34That's a proper Irish road trip, that.
08:36It is, Colin.
08:37But, you know, I now feel I've got a really deep connection to Ireland now that I know
08:43for sure that I've got Irish blood in me.
08:46If you're going to Galway, would you not be a better friend of Shannon?
08:50Where's that?
08:51Oh, hi, Michelle.
08:53Hi, Alan.
08:54Hi.
08:55Hello, everyone.
08:56Sorry to just appear at your door, Beth.
08:59Don't worry about that.
09:00No-one else does.
09:01How are you, Michelle?
09:03Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
09:05Just so tired all the time.
09:07Oh, yeah, you do look really knackered.
09:10Come and sit down, Michelle.
09:12Come on.
09:12Hey, there we go.
09:15Sit down, yeah.
09:16Who's you, Alan, eh?
09:18Everything all right?
09:19Aye, all right.
09:20Just back for the garage with the van.
09:22Oh, no.
09:23Something wrong with it?
09:24Somebody ran into the back of me, Eric.
09:26Oh, my God.
09:27What happened?
09:28Were you eating a sausage roll while you were driving, Alan?
09:31No, I was coming off the motorway to go through the tunnel,
09:33and it was a wee jam, so I had to slow right down.
09:36Next thing I know, somebody's ran into the back of me.
09:39Oh, and they'd be on their phone, no doubt.
09:42Aye.
09:42And see the force of it?
09:43Mine's flew right out of my hand, under the seat.
09:46They took their time fixing it at the garage, didn't they?
09:48Yeah.
09:49Alan was late picking me up from my antenatal class.
09:51Oh, no.
09:52That's fine, Beth.
09:53You can't see the dent at all.
09:56So, anyway, how are you guys doing?
09:58How's Ian?
09:59Oh, he's fine, aye.
10:01He's coming over to have a look through his old stuff before we junk it.
10:04Are you trying to get rid of every trace of him, Eric?
10:07Have you any baby stuff, Eric?
10:09Because maybe Alan and Michelle might want that.
10:11I remember she used to have them in a lot of brown, Michelle.
10:15Eric, it's fine.
10:16I've ordered loads of stuff already, actually.
10:19You know, the wee baby grows and the jammies
10:22and the wee onesies.
10:23They're just all so cute, aren't they?
10:25Oh, they are, Michelle.
10:28Well, until they soil them.
10:30Have you made any decisions on names, Michelle?
10:33No, because we still can't seem to agree on anything, can we?
10:36But if it's a boy, I like the name Lewis.
10:41Good Scottish name, that.
10:44I don't think it sounds a bit like Lewis, though, Eric.
10:47And are you definitely sure you don't want to find out what you're having, Michelle?
10:52I mean, that would make it a bit easier.
10:55No, I just don't want to know.
10:57No, I'm not that interested either, Michelle.
10:59Can I get you a tea or a glass of water or something?
11:03I'd take a water off you if it's not too much trouble, Beth.
11:06What about the rest of us, Beth?
11:08I hear, have you got any mince pies?
11:11A wee cup of tea and a mince pie, I believe.
11:14Well, the thing is...
11:14Why? A tea and a mince pie?
11:16I wouldn't say no.
11:17What's the season?
11:18I fucking hate mince pies.
11:20Have you got the ones with the brandy in them, Beth?
11:22Well, I'd take one of them, though.
11:24No, you say...
11:25You know, I love the ones with all the cream on the top.
11:27Oh, have you tried them?
11:28Oh, I like the sound of them.
11:30Have you got any of them, Beth?
11:32I haven't got any mince pies.
11:34Oh.
11:35You cannae invite us all in here,
11:38saying it's the start of Christmas
11:40and no very Christmas stuff in for us.
11:42We didn't do that.
11:44You've got your tree up, Eric.
11:45You know, that sends a message.
11:47It's like the swingers with the pampas grass.
11:49Yes, Eric. Shut your face.
11:51Is that really a thing, that, the pampas grass?
11:53I thought it was just, like, one of those things folks say.
11:56Oh, no, no, no, no.
11:57There's a couple round the Newbolds that had it
11:59and they were very, very active.
12:02Apparently.
12:03Beth, don't worry about the water.
12:05Actually, I'm fine.
12:06Aye, and it makes the baby kick,
12:07then she goes on about it.
12:08Don't be daft.
12:10Of course I'll get you a glass of water
12:11and I'm happy to do teas and coffees
12:14for anyone who's wanting.
12:15I just don't have any mince pies.
12:17I mean, we were just clearing out the loft,
12:22not declaring that it was officially Christmas.
12:25I mean, I'd like to have the power to do that,
12:27but I'm afraid I don't.
12:28OK?
12:33Beth, you don't even have a wee tub of celebrations
12:37or nothing, no?
12:38A bit early with the tree, are you not?
12:56What, is it just feeling Christmassy?
12:58I wish we'd never bothered, to be honest.
13:03Quality street is what I used to get
13:06when it was just Sophie and me, you know?
13:08Oh, the green ones were my favourite.
13:11I used to love them.
13:13No, I'm not about Sophie.
13:14What ones were hers?
13:15Oh, the other ones.
13:18All right.
13:19Not like you to have a house full.
13:21Aye, son.
13:21How are you, Ian?
13:22How are you, Dad?
13:23How are you calling?
13:23How are you, Kathy?
13:24How are you doing, Ian?
13:25Oh, I'm fine.
13:26How are you guys?
13:27Everything OK?
13:28OK, I'm fine.
13:28No, really, Ian.
13:29Just feeling...
13:29Somebody went in at the back of my van.
13:31Oh, no.
13:32I know.
13:33I'll just get it back today.
13:34You weren't in it at the time, were you?
13:35No.
13:36Oh, well, could have been worse.
13:37You're saying that,
13:38but that was two full days.
13:39It was after odd.
13:43Anyway, how are you doing, Ian?
13:44How's Gordon?
13:45Aye, he's good.
13:46He's coming over here to meet me after college.
13:48Oh, is he still enjoying it?
13:49Oh, aye, he's loving it.
13:51I'm not loving being the only one earning, no?
13:52Oh.
13:53And you'll be in a very poor wages, is he, Ian?
13:57What did he pack his job in for anyway, Ian?
14:00Oh, basically, he just wasn't happy.
14:02Oh, you see?
14:03This is the new thing, isn't it?
14:05You don't like something, you just stop doing it.
14:09Never used to be like that.
14:10No, you just kept going.
14:12That was your lot.
14:13You just had to accept it.
14:15Like you with Eric, Beth.
14:17Right.
14:17Listen, you want to look through this stuff from the loft before we throw it out?
14:21All right.
14:21Now?
14:22Oh.
14:22Okay, where is it?
14:24I'll go and get it.
14:26So, what are you and Gordon up to for Christmas, then?
14:29Oh, just having a quiet one, to be honest.
14:31We did invite them, but they said no.
14:33Oh, Gordon's got an assignment to do over the holidays.
14:36Sort of taking over everything at the minute.
14:37And what's it on?
14:39That's the thing.
14:39He can't make up his mind.
14:40Do you think he's quite a weak person, Ian?
14:43We get rid of a lot of other stuff, but we weren't sure whether you'd want to keep any of this.
14:51God, my old laptop.
14:54I remember the year you got me this.
14:56I remember going to Curry's out at Renfrew to get it.
14:59Oh, that is a nice store that me and Pat went there to get Sophie her Game Boy.
15:05That was a big present that year.
15:07Did you get her one?
15:09No, they were sold out.
15:10So I just got her a lady shave instead.
15:13And if I remember right, I think Pat got some hoover bags.
15:18God, I can remember taking the wrapping off it.
15:20Then straight upstairs and on to the porn, eh, Ian?
15:24Ian, gay porn on Christmas Day.
15:27We didn't want to just throw it out.
15:29No, no, no, listen, he could have some good stuff in it, Eric.
15:32Look, I'll take this, but you can get rid of this.
15:34Oh, are you sure?
15:35That hat and scarf set was a present as well, and I don't think you've ever worn them.
15:41Ian.
15:41He was always a very ungrateful wee boy, Michelle.
15:47I remember I gave him a banana once and he just threw it behind the hut.
15:52You'll need to get your mum something decent for that this year, Ian, to make up for that.
15:56Just get her a bottle of rosé, Ian.
15:59That's what we do.
16:00She always seems genuinely quite happy.
16:04Sorry, Mum.
16:05I'll take those as well.
16:06Oh, well, if you're sure.
16:08And if you don't like them, maybe Gordon will.
16:10Yeah.
16:11He's got no fashion sense at all, Ian.
16:13I still don't understand how he's starting college at his age.
16:17I mean, is he no too old?
16:20He's a mature student.
16:21Yeah, exactly.
16:23He's a mature student.
16:24Hello.
16:32How's it going?
16:34Are we going just now, or am I coming in?
16:36No, I'm coming in, aren't I?
16:37Righto.
16:38I get the train to Stranraer, ferry to Larne, bus to Belfast, coach down to Galway.
16:46That's a hoary a trip, that.
16:47Alan.
16:48It's a fair way, Alan, but when it is family, it is worth all the effort.
16:53Quite right.
16:54And, you know, you'll be like Santa coming down from the North Pole with your big sack of Christmas presents.
17:00I'll no need to buy them all presents, will I?
17:05Hi, Gordon.
17:06Oh, hiya, Gordon.
17:07Hi, hi.
17:08Gordon, what's that you've got in your head?
17:10Oh, it's my helmet I came on my scooter.
17:13You came here by scooter?
17:15Yeah.
17:16I'll be one of those e-scooters.
17:19What do you fancy one myself?
17:20Is that an e-scooter you've got, Gordon?
17:22No, it's just a regular one.
17:26Gordon, come here a minute.
17:28Come here.
17:33That's you.
17:34It was sticking up a bit.
17:37So how's your course going, Gordon?
17:41Yeah, good.
17:42Yeah.
17:42What is it you're studying again?
17:44Sociology and literature.
17:45Oh, right.
17:46You're no bothered about getting a job after, are you?
17:48Ian says you've got an assignment to do.
17:51Oh, yeah.
17:52I haven't made up my mind what to do it on yet.
17:55It's meant to be something on cultural change, but it's such a big subject.
17:59Oh, God, yeah.
18:00What about Emmerdale going onto YouTube?
18:03I don't think that's the sort of thing Gordon's studying on his course, Christine.
18:07So it's literature you're doing, is it?
18:11Tell you a good book.
18:13What's that one I read on holiday?
18:14Oh, fuck that.
18:16You wouldn't put that down.
18:17He was reading it in bed.
18:18I know.
18:18I got right into it.
18:19So I did.
18:20I know what it was.
18:20It was Duncan Bannatine's autobiography.
18:23You read that, Gordon?
18:25Er, no.
18:26What about Maeve Benchy?
18:27You read any hers?
18:29All set in Ireland.
18:30They'll not be doing Maeve Benchy books in a literature course.
18:33I know it.
18:34There's fucking tons of them.
18:37I see you've got your Christmas tree up, Mrs Bed.
18:40Well, it's awful early, is it not, Gordon?
18:43You've not got yours up, have you?
18:45Well, no.
18:46It's also shit.
18:48Look at the state of it.
18:50It'll look great when you've got the rest of the decorations up.
18:54You're not saying this is it, are you?
18:56Well, we were having a clear out and there was decorations there that we'd had for years.
19:00They were a bit tatty.
19:03Erm, if you throw out everything tatty, you're not going to have anything left.
19:07Oh, Beth, we've got absolutely loads of Christmas decorations if you want some, haven't we, Alan?
19:11Aye.
19:12She can't go past them in a short without buying them.
19:15It's the same with toilet rolls.
19:16You've both got honours of them.
19:18I know.
19:19That's very kind, Michelle.
19:20Look, we've got piles of old ones as well.
19:22Aye, you could always have mine, Beth, since I'm going to be in Ireland.
19:27Alan, are we going to get some for Beth and Eric?
19:29Michelle, no, we...
19:30Oh, honestly, Eric, it's fine.
19:32We've got way more than we've got room to put up, so...
19:34Come on, Eric, it's fucking miserable in here.
19:43Are we ready?
19:44Yes, good.
19:45That's proper Christmassy now, isn't it?
19:55Well, not till we get a bottle open.
19:59What about you boys?
20:01Well, shh, I won't tell anyone you're driving your scooter drunk, Gordon.
20:05Em, em, em, em, em, em, em, em.
20:09Yeah, I'll take one, if that's OK with you, Michelle.
20:11Oh, yeah, you guys, go ahead.
20:13I'll just stick to my water.
20:15Did you not realise that being pregnant was going to be really boring, Michelle?
20:20Is it OK if I have a lager?
20:21Of course it is, Alan.
20:23Are you just saying that now and you'll give me a row later?
20:25Or do you really mean it?
20:26I think I've got a bottle of fizz in the fridge.
20:31Woo!
20:32You know, and I think it feels like Christmas is coming.
20:35When you hear the Christmas songs on the radio.
20:37Yeah, I love Christmas songs.
20:39Hey, Eric, have you got that Christmas album?
20:42I think I do.
20:43As long as you haven't even thrown it out.
20:45Yes, Eric, you big stupid donkey.
20:48So when is it you're off to Ireland, Christine?
20:50Oh, not until the 21st, Michelle.
20:54Oh, God, it's just so exciting.
20:56You're going to have such a brilliant time.
20:58We loved Dublin, didn't we?
20:59We were saying earlier, Alan,
21:01that the Guinness that you get in the Guinness factory
21:03isn't like anywhere else.
21:04Aye, it's 20 fucking euro.
21:09Aww.
21:11Oh.
21:11Hey.
21:13Oh.
21:15Right, everyone, welcome.
21:20Sorry, Michelle.
21:21Oh, Beth, don't worry, I'm fine.
21:23I like my water.
21:24It's all right, Michelle.
21:25You can get pissed again once the baby's here.
21:28Well, this is a bit more like it, eh?
21:30Cheers, everybody.
21:31Cheers.
21:31Cheers.
21:34Here, Beth.
21:35Could you go and get me that wee glass I like?
21:39I don't like the way this one feels in my hand.
21:42Oh.
21:46Thanks.
21:46Here.
21:47I hope you won't be so fussed over on Ireland, Christine,
21:49or they'll send you back.
21:50Dad, stick it on to the next song.
21:56I can't be bothered with this one.
21:57It goes on for ages.
22:01Oh, no, no, no, Cole.
22:02No, no, no, I hate this one.
22:03Get it off.
22:04She hates this.
22:05Why do you not like it, Cathy?
22:06I don't like the sound of children singing, Gordon.
22:09No, this, this is a classic.
22:14Oh, does this one not do your head in?
22:16Would you not like it, Alan?
22:17Look, it's all right, but you hear it everywhere you go, don't you?
22:20It is a bit ubiquitous, yeah.
22:21I'll tell you one you hear everywhere.
22:26Band-aid.
22:27Oh, it was amazing what they did with that.
22:30Yes.
22:31Although there is a bit of a backlash against it now.
22:35Against band-aid?
22:36Is it because Bono's a wank?
22:38Alan.
22:39It is, but...
22:39It's just they think it maybe did more harm than good
22:42because it made people feel they'd solved the problem of global inequality
22:46when, in actual fact, it's worsened with the impact of climate change.
22:50Plus, there's the whole white saviour thing, which is quite toxic as well.
22:55Oh.
22:56I didn't realise it was so controversial.
22:59Well, it's an interesting debate.
23:01I personally think that...
23:02This is the best one ever.
23:07Oh, I do like this.
23:08What is it?
23:09The Pogues.
23:10Shane McGowan.
23:11Always pissed.
23:13Oh, him, yes.
23:14There's a couple of names for you, Michelle.
23:16What?
23:16Well, Shane for a boy or Kirsty for a girl.
23:19Oh, a good Irish name, that, Michelle.
23:22Shane.
23:24Actually, I quite like those.
23:26Aye.
23:27Wee Shane Edgar.
23:29Sounds good, doesn't it?
23:30Or Kirsty.
23:31Aye, that's all right enough.
23:34Here, Christine.
23:35This is the one where the choir's singing Galway Bay.
23:38That's where you'll be at Christmas.
23:40Oh, yeah, so it is.
23:42Christine, it's just going to feel really weird, you being away at your cousin's for Christmas.
23:49Beth.
23:49Do you think it's going to be okay?
23:58What do you mean?
23:59We going to deathless, but it's...
24:02Well, it's just I know that sometimes I can be a wee bit demanding.
24:07Oh, Christine.
24:09What if they end up wishing they'd ever made contact with me and kind of wait to see the
24:13back of me?
24:14You're going to have a wonderful time.
24:17Christmas is for families and they're your family.
24:20They're going to be thrilled you're there.
24:22Do you think so?
24:23Yes.
24:27Here, Beth.
24:29You know how I'm getting the train to Stranra and then getting the ferry?
24:33Yes.
24:34Train to Stranra, ferry to Larne, bus to Belfast and coach to Galway.
24:40You okay to give me a lift into the station?
24:44Yes.
24:45You okay there, Gordon?
24:46Any problem with this song?
24:48Well, it depends which version it is.
24:50What?
24:51Well, there's a word in the song that's quite offensive, so...
24:55What word?
24:56Well, I don't really want to say it.
24:58I think I know what it is.
24:59What is it, Beth?
24:59Is it scumbag?
25:01What is wrong with scumbag?
25:02It rhymes with maggot.
25:04It rhymes with maggot?
25:06Maybe just forward on to the next one.
25:08What rhymes with maggot?
25:09I know.
25:10I know!
25:12What is it?
25:13It begins with an F, Christine.
25:16Fuckwit.
25:16Look, maybe just put it off, Dad.
25:20What is it?
25:24What's wrong with that?
25:26It's quite offensive, especially to gay people.
25:29I thought it was Poofter was the one that he's done, like.
25:33Look, it's getting to the point you cannae say anything without offending someone.
25:37Oh, here we go.
25:38Well, it's ridiculous.
25:39I mean, you cannae even have a bit of homophobic swearing in a Christmas song any more.
25:43I think it's more we're just becoming more aware of how the things we say impact on other people and a recognition that some terms that were once in common usage were, in fact, offensive, frankly.
25:57We should probably make a move.
25:59Of what other words can we not say, Gordon?
26:01Well, it's not up to me.
26:02What about Fanny?
26:05If someone was to call you a silly Fanny, would you be offended by that?
26:08Kathy.
26:09Well, I wouldn't really be offended, but, I mean, if we're going to get into it, I don't really think anyone should be using a female body part as an insult.
26:16Does that mean that you cannae say...
26:18Christine!
26:19What about Dick?
26:20Can you still call someone a Dick?
26:22That's less bad.
26:24Oh, thank God for that.
26:25I see Dick quite a lot, don't I?
26:27I may as well.
26:29Why is Dick not as bad, Gordon?
26:31Well, it's that men have historically been the dominant gender, so...
26:35What about wanker, Gordon?
26:37Because technically that's either, isn't it?
26:40Arsehole.
26:41You know, we've all got one of those.
26:42And where would the gays be without them?
26:44Oh, I really think we should head.
26:48You know what I think, Gordon?
26:50What?
26:50I think you should do your assignment on all of this.
26:57Language and all that.
26:58How it's changed.
27:00You really know what you're talking about.
27:02Well, I don't think that's...
27:04I can't really see how that would...
27:10Actually, that's a really good idea.
27:17Don't forget your hat and scarf.
27:19Ah, yeah.
27:20See about that.
27:22Do you mind if we don't do presents this year?
27:25Oh, right.
27:26Yeah, it's just...
27:27We're a bit skint this year with me being at college.
27:30Is that why you're not coming over on Christmas Day?
27:35Kinda, yeah.
27:36Do not worry about presents, but come over for dinner.
27:40We'd love to have you.
27:42Right, OK.
27:45Cheers, Mum.
27:45Um, no hugs for me, Gordon.
27:59That's a nice kiss for you as well.
28:03Bye, Ian.
28:04Oh, is that your scooter, Gordon?
28:15Yeah.
28:15Oh.
28:16I wonder if Cole would like one of those.
28:18Oh, my God, I could get him one for his Christmas.
28:20Cole!
28:21Cole!
28:22Come and get a look at Gordon's scooter.
28:24What's happening?
28:26I think Cole has got him a Gordon Gordon scooter.
28:30Oh, I'd quite like to see that.
28:34I haven't been in one of these for years.
28:37Go on, Cole!
28:37Oh, I'm a fucking van!
28:51The boys in the Empire cleaning cars will soon go and play.
28:59And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day.
29:02Oh, my God, I've been in one of these for years.
29:04Oh, my God, I've been in one of these for years.
29:05Oh, my God, I've been in one of these for years.
29:06Oh, my God, I've been in one of these for years.
29:07Oh, my God, I've been in one of these for years.
29:08Oh, my God, I've been in one of these for years.
29:09Oh, my God, I've been in one of these for years.
29:10Oh, my God, I've been in one of these for years.
29:11Oh, my God, I've been in one of these for years.
29:12Oh, my God, I've been in one of these for years.
29:13Oh, my God, I've been in one of these for years.
29:14Oh, my God, I've been in one of these for years.
29:16Oh, my God, I've been in one of these for years.
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