Gogglebox - Season 26 Episode 14
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#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
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00:00Oh, for God's sake.
00:01Oh, it's probably because I've got high blood pressure,
00:03blood pressure, and my feet are puffy.
00:06Don't say you're going to be trapped in these moods.
00:08No.
00:10I literally...
00:11We're going to have to get a strong man from this...
00:13Oh, no, they're coming, they're coming.
00:14That's fantastic, Mary.
00:16Do you think I should have got size 11?
00:21Ah!
00:23Earth clappers have been gasted.
00:25You want some of this?
00:27Oh, lettuce!
00:28Look out!
00:30Oh, now, there's a controversial statement.
00:33The gravy.
00:36Yeah.
00:38Do you like this music?
00:39No, not particularly.
00:40So suck on that.
00:42Oh, wow.
00:43He's been a bad boy.
00:45Don't ever take me to a restaurant like that.
00:47Not a chance, do you?
00:48Oh!
00:49Yes, look at that.
00:50He's had an absolute feast.
00:53Whoa!
00:54For a banana?
00:55This is insane.
00:57Well, thank all that sounds like I've got a headache.
00:59Come on.
01:00It is like putting chicken in a vodka tonic, this.
01:03LAUGHTER
01:03That's very modern, isn't it?
01:05Nothing, no-one saw that coming.
01:07No.
01:08In the week, a runaway reindeer named Buddy
01:11sparked an emergency rescue operation in Farmby.
01:14We enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:17BBC One was treating us to some marvellous miniatures.
01:22What are we going to be doing for you today, please?
01:24Well, I would love to have a model made of the library that I used as a child.
01:29I do take Ezra to the library to story time sometimes.
01:33We haven't been for a while, to be honest.
01:35Couldn't go this morning cos I had to go for my Botox top-up.
01:39Sorry, Ezra.
01:40Sorry, Ezra.
01:41No.
01:41This library for you.
01:42No, we need Botox.
01:45Freddie Flintoff had us up for a game of darts on ITV.
01:49Graham, I heard that you used to be in The Police.
01:51I did, yeah.
01:52And as you look around, half of this Manchester audience...
01:54He's a terrible guy.
01:55Don't worry, he's retired.
01:57Freddie stood on something.
01:59Like a milk crate.
02:01I'm not sure, remember, he was a cricketeer, wasn't he?
02:03So he was tall anyway.
02:05A what, what?
02:06Cricketeer.
02:07They were playing cricket.
02:08Huh?
02:09Cricketer.
02:10Not cricketeer?
02:11No.
02:11Shit, yeah.
02:12That as well.
02:15Why is someone who plays football?
02:16Football here.
02:19And Ed Sheeran was giving it his best shot on Netflix.
02:24And my song Perfect gets used for a lot of proposals, a lot of weddings.
02:28So I'm going to sing it.
02:30He's going to propose.
02:31Hopefully she says yes.
02:32To be fair, I'm glad Ben didn't get Ed Sheeran playing at our engagement situation.
02:37I don't think he'd have been able to afford it.
02:39Well, also, I'm not that big of a fan.
02:42Yeah, you'd have probably preferred JLS.
02:46Although they wouldn't have fitted it into a hotel room.
02:50It's me, Ben and JLS.
02:52Oh, do you know, I hadn't opened my I think calendar 1st of December, innit?
03:05Best friends Jenny and Lee.
03:08Oh.
03:10Number one.
03:11Where is it?
03:13Why is it?
03:15Who's opened this?
03:16What?
03:16I haven't opened it.
03:21You have?
03:22I haven't.
03:24What are you?
03:24What?
03:25I can tell.
03:26Look at your face.
03:27I can tell when you're lying.
03:30You've already opened it, haven't you?
03:33Oh, don't be greedily.
03:35I thought I'd start it off for you.
03:36It's dug to the roof of my mouth.
03:40Good.
03:44This week, a global superstar went for a stroll around the Big Apple on Netflix.
03:49Ed Sheeran was bosking at his start and you used to bosk.
03:52Yeah.
03:52So what went wrong?
03:54Why are you sat with me?
03:55I don't mind Ed Sheeran.
03:57He's inoffensive.
03:58He's vanilla.
03:59He's vanilla is what he is.
04:01He's a crowd pleaser.
04:02It's like he's doing a live gig on the streets of New York and it's all in one take.
04:16Do you not remember there was a time when Shape of You was on the radio and you could
04:19not avoid that for about five years?
04:21It still is.
04:22Never mind you, I'm in love with your body.
04:26Ooh, I, ooh, I, ooh, I, ooh, I, ooh.
04:28Come on now, follow my lead.
04:30Come, come on now, follow my lead.
04:32Mmm.
04:33I'm in love with the shape of you.
04:36I'm in love with the shape of you.
04:36I'm in love with the shape of you.
04:39Sorry, I'm getting into it, I can't.
04:41You're doing too much, I can't.
04:42I'm very boring, but I don't like this sort of music at all.
04:46Do you think if you kept listening to it you'd like it?
04:48No.
04:49You all good?
04:50You all good?
04:51Yeah, we're good.
04:52Oh, we'll just finish there then?
04:53I don't really think he has to re-air stuff, do you really?
04:55Well, he might, it's to get the sound check.
04:58Oh, all right, Rhodey.
05:00where are you going where are you going ed story continues hey man how are you good how are you
05:06uh can you take me to the high line please yeah does he know who he is do you know who he is
05:11do you know who he is sharon this guy got in touch for i have like songs that people use in their
05:16weddings oh pick that one up you're a bit of a name like are you yeah who are you who are you
05:21i'll tell the wife when i get home she'll probably know who you are and this guy's going to propose
05:25to his girlfriend so i thought i'd go and surprise him oh my god i would die what would you do if
05:31nat proposed to you and ed sheeran showed up i mean i feel like ed sheeran showing up would be more
05:36believable than not proposing i found a love for me he's just gone straight into it why is he singing
05:45it now oh i love this song it makes me cry oh for fuck's sake darling you look perfect tonight
05:53oh did you see us went double t i tell you what i would turn my mobility scooter around and follow
06:00him if he's doing this it's carrying more than just my secrets this is the couple who's the couple
06:06there they are oh they're there they're there they're there oh look over all we are still kissing with
06:14so oh what goosebumps literally i forgot about the proposal i'd be like forget this man i'm here for
06:22and she would be staring at him the whole time yeah oh my god you're here you are the most amazing
06:28beautiful girl in the world ed can you show up a minute i can't watch this i got one question
06:34will you marry me oh what's she gonna say of course she's gonna say yes
06:39oh that is lovely oh she said yes well she couldn't hardly say no could she bloody hell imagine he
06:48pulled out big guns with ed sheeran and she said no she was kissing and how i was confused with that
06:53she should figure it out why i'm always going in the subway don't say he's patronizing some more people
06:58yeah
06:59what's going on how's he gonna perform on the train i wouldn't appreciate that i'd already be
07:07overstimulated in that environment and then ed sheeran's there with his flipping rinky tink guitar
07:13you guys want a song would you like a song would you like a song what else are you good for ed
07:19what about singing a song that we've actually heard of ed like streets of london by
07:25ralph mctel ralph mctel
07:27do you know what this feels a bit too orchestrated for me this because all these people are very glam
07:37i just love her in the brown stuff
07:39get that guitar in your hand
07:49play me a bit ed sheeran what's it worth what's it worth here chuck my tenor
07:54i could hear it i could hear it there no no i could hear that first note first note
08:01don't look at me when you play that please that's uncomfortable yeah try not to lock eyes
08:08i don't know if you know what it is i like to take a hard-boiled sweet to bed yeah i have
08:18dave and his wife shirley you've got some worthers out there haven't you
08:22when do you buy them then i can't remember i bought them in a week specifically for having a sweet to go to bed
08:32all right because as i say good night oh yeah i know i go up there yeah you say no i'm going to bed now
08:40i'm off then yeah i know i think thank you for that
08:47on monday it was all about the little things on bbc1
08:53good things come in small packages that's what mama used to say to me when i was growing up
08:59i don't understand people that want to make things in miniature
09:02you just want it big i want everything big
09:07they say it's the little things that mean the most
09:10that's true
09:11and in this series we're taking that to heart
09:14oh look at that
09:16this is up my mam's street this she loves little shit like that
09:19the craft and skill of our team of miniaturists
09:23miniaturists there's all sorts of ists now isn't there
09:26nudists
09:27yeah
09:27naturists
09:28miniaturists
09:30yeah vapists
09:31shines through in every delicate detail
09:34i've got stupidly fat fingers like richmond sausages there's no way i could do anything like that
09:39welcome to the marvellous miniature workshop
09:42if i was going to have a model done i think
09:45ponta guindy pub would be yours wouldn't it
09:48what
09:48ponta guindy pub
09:50no not necessarily sure
09:52all right
09:53leah welcome to the workshop what are we going to be doing for you today please
09:58well i would love to have a model made of the library that i used as a child
10:03aww
10:03aww
10:04aww
10:05why
10:06our library was good
10:07why would you want the fucking library
10:09well because it brings back memories
10:11shh
10:11i mean there are always beautiful buildings
10:15for a start not always so
10:16no no
10:17are they i'm not sure they're always beautiful buildings are they
10:20no starry library certainly isn't
10:22no it's really not
10:23starry's got a library
10:24but there is another little bit to it
10:27oh come on
10:28oh there's backstories mary
10:30i've got a feeling there's a backstory coming on
10:32my favorite memories from when i was 14 and a little bit i met my husband there
10:38aww
10:39aww
10:40as if she met her husband in library
10:41i've always wanted the scenario like that oh my god we both reached for the same book
10:46and he said something about university and i thought he had a place university but when he turned
10:52around i could see a school cap sticking out of his back pocket he pretended to be older than he was
10:58and unfortunately he he died just over three years ago
11:03oh that's really sad
11:05that's sad
11:05i'm so sorry for your loss
11:07sorry
11:07thank you
11:07anyway
11:08anyway
11:10moving on
11:11what do you want in this library like
11:13let's have a look at this one wow
11:15oh gosh
11:16that's impressive
11:17fucking hell i bet she's going
11:18we're not going to be able to make this love
11:21hannah begins with the outer shell
11:23mdf walls are taped together to form the grand edwardian reading room
11:29i could do that bit
11:29what's cellotaping bits of mdf together
11:33yeah
11:33then comes the intricate parquet
11:36oh look she's doing parquet floor
11:37oh god she's going the all ugly
11:40it takes five hours
11:42five hours to do that floor i'm not being funny i could probably floor a whole house in five hours
11:46hannah is turning her attention to the most important items in any library
11:51books
11:51toilets
11:52the books
11:55hannah needs to make three thousand of them
11:59three thousand books
12:01tiny jackets are printed in miniature on sticky paper and wrapped neatly around each block
12:07oh i don't it's making my eyes and my fingers go funny just looking
12:11me too
12:12she's made little books tracer
12:14and with incredible precision glues them into position on the shelves
12:18she's even putting them in with tweezers
12:20and they all look so unique none of them look the same
12:23that is amazing
12:26now it's time to find out if hannah's managed to pull off a storybook ending
12:32oh she's got to come and have a look at it now
12:34oh yeah
12:34for me she better be in bits at this
12:36i'm talking wailing screaming crying
12:39full scene
12:41three two one
12:42oh my god
12:45wow
12:46that's pretty cool
12:47oh that's smart
12:48where's the roof
12:49she hasn't finished it
12:53look at the detail
13:02that looks so good
13:03i just want to be a miniature person
13:05go inside there
13:06do you know what i mean
13:07you are a miniature person
13:09and there's one tiny detail
13:13that's an extra special surprise for leah
13:15brace yourself
13:16the school cap
13:18oh
13:19that's the old school cap
13:22oh bless
13:25that'll set her off now
13:26i've got tears
13:28i've got tears
13:29oh she's welling up now
13:31i thought about you a lot
13:33and neil
13:34thank you for letting me do this
13:36honestly thanks for trusting me
13:38it's a thank-a-thon natty
13:39oh that's lovely
13:40i could see myself being able to do that
13:42yeah you've got little cute hands
13:45i've got penised hands
13:46penis hands
13:47penised
13:49penis hands
13:50penis like i'd be good playing the piano
13:53penised
13:55penised
13:56what a penised
13:57you started saying penis
13:58i've got penis hands
14:00in wiltshire
14:09while you were in london
14:10i've been busy
14:11and the extraordinary thing is
14:13this this tree that i bought
14:15has been reduced
14:16yeah it's lovely nutty
14:18it's a lovely one
14:19and um
14:19it's a very good condition
14:21giles and his wife mary
14:23can't you put it over in that corner
14:25well then we lose
14:26mrs krang's armchair
14:28uh mary
14:30which is very nice
14:31for people to sit in that corner
14:33with the reading light
14:34you put in mrs krang's cupboard
14:36in room four
14:38yeah but it would take a day
14:39to empty the contents
14:40of mrs krang's cupboard
14:41just put it in front of the cupboard
14:44and move the table
14:45oh move
14:45oh all right
14:46won't that be in everyone's way
14:48in prickle people
14:48no because i think people
14:50would rather have the
14:51prickle pool
14:52they'd rather have it than not
14:55yeah
14:55on sunday night
14:57our favourite darts based quiz show
14:59was back on itb
15:00here we go
15:04you were in darts
15:05aye aye aye
15:07oi
15:08two of my favourite things nutty
15:10darts and trivia
15:11mary
15:12you spend so much time in london
15:15you don't know what i'm like anymore
15:16i
15:18darts and trivia
15:19you've never been interested in darts
15:22since i met you up to 60 years ago
15:25you'd be surprised how much have changed in the last six months mary
15:28i've rewired my brain
15:30i'm not as good as i was
15:35you're shit baby
15:36no i was not
15:38i've hit a couple 180s in my time
15:42you've done one
15:43i've done one
15:43you've done one
15:44you've done it in the flat
15:45i know
15:45i know
15:46i couldn't believe it
15:47you thought there was something going wrong
15:48there's no feel
15:49i think 180 for me
15:50there's no feeling like that in life
15:52i've never felt that way again
15:53i'm chasing that high
15:54forever
15:55in the programme
15:56it was zayer and lee
15:58who had made it to the final
15:59there's eight red segments on the board
16:01and a prize behind each one
16:03here's what they're playing for tonight
16:05some of the
16:06the prizes are crap
16:08innit
16:08i would say
16:0995%
16:10i'm a shite
16:11yeah
16:11because all the frig wants to throw the press
16:14and one
16:17i mean it was stopped for a reason wasn't it this programme
16:20you've got the power to diy with over 1000 pounds worth of a ryobi tool
16:25i wouldn't mind that
16:27you wouldn't mind that
16:28look at that
16:29i could do a lot of damage with that
16:30you could do lots of damage with that
16:32and four
16:34what else is there
16:35you've got to roll with it with this pair of super smashing skates
16:39no i wouldn't mind a pair of them
16:42oh they're nice
16:43they're a bit of you
16:44brother you've got a leotard that would go perfectly with that
16:47yeah
16:47and for his special prize
16:50oh is it a holiday
16:52tell me it's not butlins
16:53it's butlins
16:53it's butlins
16:54it's a family break
16:56courtesy of butlins
16:57butlins
16:58butlins
16:59butlins
17:00butlins
17:02bad boys go to
17:03butlins
17:04keep out of the black and in the red
17:07there's nothing in this game for
17:09two in a bit
17:10two in a bit
17:12huh
17:12take your time
17:13oh yeah i didn't get that
17:15we're all behind you
17:16up your step
17:17come on guys
17:19come on lads
17:20come on boys
17:20this is the data
17:21oh i say it right
17:23that's black
17:26oh that's black
17:27straight in the black
17:28that'll do
17:28that's not good
17:29he needs to be in the red
17:30black again
17:32oh another one
17:33what's wrong with those dots
17:34say yeah
17:35i'm black i'm lucky
17:38i'm black again
17:39oh no
17:40oh
17:41fucking hell
17:42is he the dance player
17:43come on lee
17:44come on lee
17:47you gotta do better than say yeah
17:48come on
17:49black
17:52black
17:53oh shit
17:54oh black
17:55the red lee the red
17:56black again
17:59black
18:00no
18:00oh
18:01no it's not going well
18:04stop it
18:07spec savers please
18:09do you know what he's got glasses on
18:10yeah but they ain't working
18:11i actually don't think we've ever seen this before
18:13they've not won a single prize
18:15how about the gold seed
18:16say you've got the final three darts
18:19please get something
18:21black again
18:23black
18:24black again
18:28come on zaya
18:31oh mate
18:32it'd actually be hard to get black this many times
18:35oh
18:36and black
18:37oh
18:38oh
18:38oh that's now
18:40oh that's the first time i've ever seen that
18:43i've still got to ask you a big question
18:46right
18:46do you want to race
18:48nothing
18:49yeah
18:50and take on one final challenge
18:54score one or one or more with six darts
18:56and you leave here with bullies mystery star prize
18:59nah to be honest with you i want to go home with nothing
19:02i don't want to race skip brad
19:03well it's a no-brainer isn't it
19:05what would you do jane
19:06lee
19:07your first to throw please step up to the ocu
19:09for goodness sake
19:11come on lee
19:12they've got to get something here simon
19:14okay
19:15here we go
19:16come on lee
19:17101 or more in six darts
19:19101 or more in six darts
19:22that's doable
19:22you could do that with your eyes shut
19:24no pressure
19:25or lots of pressure
19:27seven
19:29seven that's a good step up for him
19:31i like to get the seven out of the way early doors
19:33set me up nicely for a treble 20
19:37god five
19:40five
19:41now they're hopeless
19:43that's 12
19:44and 19
19:4819
19:49not bad
19:50yeah if you get 70 they win
19:52is that possible
19:53yeah because they could get a triple 20
19:55and a 10
19:56for bullies mystery star prize
19:58come on there
19:59this isn't hard as someone who played darts
20:0220
20:04whoa
20:0520
20:06come on boy
20:0720
20:10oh nice
20:11well he's doing alright here
20:12it's all on the last dart so
20:14oh
20:16oh no
20:19oh he's fucked it
20:2072
20:2172
20:22well done lad
20:23oh reed
20:24oh
20:25you tried
20:28you tried guys
20:29i don't think they tried hard enough
20:31yeah
20:32i don't
20:34i don't
20:35in derby
20:39theodore look
20:40i'm sitting with onky roz
20:42can you see him
20:43yeah
20:44i'm special
20:45and there's someone else
20:46very special here
20:48do you want to say hi
20:49the sadiqis
20:51ho ho ho
20:52have you been good this year little man
20:56that's not real santa
20:59it's granddad
21:00i know you want a snake for christmas
21:03i know what you want for christmas
21:07what do you think
21:09you want a snake
21:11he's fallen over
21:16i don't need
21:18i don't
21:19i don't
21:19dad
21:21stop telling it
21:22on friday
21:25there was a famous face
21:27doing some festive fiddling
21:29on itv
21:30ooh
21:30sarah davis
21:32christmas craft off tom
21:34craft off
21:35yes
21:36sarah davis
21:37dragon den
21:40blonde hair
21:41yes
21:41got you
21:42yeah yeah yeah
21:43she's a massive crafty
21:45is she
21:45yes
21:46it's beginning to look a lot like christmas
21:49oh i like her
21:50i can't believe she's made that much money out of cardboard
21:53neither can i
21:53i'm on a mission to spread a bit of homemade festive magic
21:57do you know what you can't beat a bit of homemade festive magic
22:00you can't
22:01nice little blue pipe
22:02wow
22:03oh i love a sparkly pine cone
22:05so grab your glue guns and let's get christmas crafting
22:09i need to get a bad man glue gun
22:11that's what i need
22:12yeah
22:13real bad man glue gun
22:14real bad man glue gun
22:15do you know what christmas crafts equals
22:22christmas crap
22:24christmas crap yeah
22:25i thought why not do a little christmas scene in a glass
22:29oh why not
22:30that's what every glass needs at christmas
22:33yes absolutely
22:34a what
22:35christmas scene in a glass
22:37i like fucking vodka in my glass
22:39yeah i don't
22:39that's the only thing i like in my glass
22:41or a nice pinot grigio
22:43this is a really fun treat
22:45and super easy
22:46i don't have a spare glass
22:47look how the other half live honestly
22:49how do you do a christmas scene in a glass
22:52and what is the point of a christmas scene in a glass
22:54well just to be festive
22:55all i'm going to use
22:57a little bit of rosemary
22:58okay
22:59got that in the garden
23:00oh we do have that in the garden
23:01grows all year
23:02abundance of rosemary
23:03some pomegranate seeds
23:05pomegranate seeds
23:06come on
23:06okay
23:08we're going to freeze it ready
23:09oh what
23:10okay
23:11what's she doing here man
23:12i want to know where this is going here
23:13in the freezer
23:14now this is
23:19the low tech tape
23:21what tape
23:22low tech
23:23low tech
23:24she's a bit blue petri isn't she
23:27i had no idea she was into this type of stuff
23:30that is going to hold our little miniature christmas tree in place
23:34a miniature christmas tree
23:36yeah
23:36that's what she's doing with the rosemary
23:38where did
23:38oh
23:39that's going to be the miniature christmas tree
23:41and then you see that
23:43will be held just nicely
23:45in the glass
23:47lovely
23:48and the best thing about that size of using rosemary is
23:52you will have your eye out when you're having a drink
23:54i think she's showing you how to make a cannabis farm
23:56so i'm going to start off just with a little bit of water
23:59because it's going to be going into the freezer
24:01oh yeah
24:02what is this
24:03it's
24:03it's a christmas scene
24:05in a glass
24:06i'd end up with frozen peas and sweet corn in as well
24:11a mix
24:12a country mix
24:14i won't even get one glass in my freezer
24:15i can't even get the ice cubes in man
24:17and then you just need to take the washer tape off
24:20okay
24:21take the tape off
24:22let's have a look
24:23and what you'll see is
24:24a twig
24:25it is
24:27that christmas tree
24:29will have frozen
24:31oh
24:32perfectly into place
24:33lovely
24:35um
24:36um
24:36right
24:41i don't even know what to make of it
24:43i'm so
24:44like i'm lost for words
24:45it looks dead
24:47i'm just adding tonic water to these
24:50here we go
24:50oh now she's talking
24:52can i have coke in mine instead
24:54she can't even see it
24:55with rosemary
24:57oh i'll have a rosemary and coke please
25:00oh
25:02oh come on get something harder in there
25:06where's the gin
25:07yeah
25:09where's the vodka
25:10you know what at least you tried didn't it
25:13that's all that matters
25:15like at least you tried
25:16in leeds
25:25i'm going to a thanksgiving dinner tomorrow
25:27yes i'd heard about this
25:29yeah so i'm going to an actual americans house for an actual thanksgiving dinner
25:35looky you
25:37sisters ellie and dizzy
25:39do you know what as well like i feel really grown up and mature to be invited to a thanksgiving
25:43dinner party
25:45i know
25:45i've been invited to
25:47a dinner party
25:49tell me you're old without telling me that you're old
25:51me and nat are going to a dinner party
25:54we've actually never been to a dinner party
25:57that's because none of your friends are sophisticated or host dinner parties
26:00you've just made friends with neil and hannah and they so happen to be normal human beings
26:05on monday fallout from the budget was still bubbling along on bbc news
26:14i'm guessing it will be the trouble they're in because they didn't tell the cabinet they had a budget surplus
26:19notified by the obr when they were saying they had a 20 billion pound black hole
26:23have you had your advent calendar this morning
26:27no i haven't
26:29i've had a coffee wouldn't i
26:30pinch punch first of the month no returns
26:33good afternoon welcome to the bbc news at one our main story the prime minister has insisted
26:39oh he looks a bit alarmed there york here
26:41it looks bewildered don't it
26:43yeah
26:43that his chancellor rachel reeves did not mislead the public before last week's budget
26:48that's not what i've heard
26:49have you been following this
26:51yes yes she um
26:52exaggeratedly
26:54shortfall fiscal black hole
26:56cabinet members have reportedly accused him and ms reeves of misleading ministers
27:01yep
27:02i'd have to agree with that
27:03didn't mislead them they just kept some information back
27:06which helped
27:07with what she was doing
27:09rachel reeves has defended her position saying full details contained in her budgets are never provided in advance
27:15pretty big detail to not release though
27:18you know she doesn't release all the details just the ones that she wants you to hear
27:21we now know that on october the 31st the office for budget responsibility told rachel reeves that she still had a surplus of 4.2 billion pounds
27:31what so the economy's doing better than we all thought she was telling everybody we were 20 or 30 billion down and she was 4.2 billion up this is like what happened with nana's energy bills
27:43giving a speech in london the prime minister said there had been no misleading
27:49well of course he would say that we had on the one hand 16 billion pounds less than we might otherwise have had we had clear commitments that we'd made throughout the process as to what it was we were going to achieve
27:59achieve oh god it's so boring yeah i've checked out now
28:03it was inevitable that we would always have to raise revenue what is that noise that horn noise
28:09it's not air raid is it the tories have asked the financial regulator to investigate rachel reeves
28:17what i mean what's going to happen they're going to do an investigation it's going to take nine years
28:22they're going to be out of power no one's going to care
28:24a ceo who did what rachel reeves did would have had to resign
28:28you tell him kemi
28:29and she should be held to the same high standards she's the chancellor of the exchequer she's not a pr lady
28:35kemi's just happy to get her neb on telly oh god just to stay relevant
28:40i mean fair play to her she didn't pull a quasi-quartang
28:42yeah yeah you know she has got that on her side
28:47yeah nobody nobody's beat quasi-quartang yet
28:51in yorkshire
28:54what makes someone beautiful and what makes someone pretty it's just an interesting concept
28:58sarah and her daughter-in-law lara
29:01well my sister was beautiful and i was just pretty okay
29:06so what am i
29:08you're
29:09why did i ask that why did i ask that
29:13you are um pretty i suppose attractive beautiful i don't know what you are darling
29:18what do you think you are
29:19on saturday night alan carr took us back in time on itv
29:27i feel like i get really stuck in the 60s 70s 80s and 90s
29:31i don't know the difference between them all
29:33what was going on in the 80s
29:34well with me
29:36well i was fully out then wasn't i so it was all fun
29:39well actually wasn't at all
29:40i don't want to know what was going on in the 80s with you then
29:42he does a young gallon car so well that boy
29:50never mind changing ends you can't change bloody channels for alan car
29:56nothing united the uk more than a telephone
30:02what's a telephone we've got telephones now
30:05oh that's telephone
30:06everyone used to sit in baths of baked beans
30:09didn't they what the fuck even celebrities came down from their ivory towers to show us
30:15they were just like us oh they need to bring out back things like this
30:19this is proper telly not like the shite we have to watch now
30:23oh and you ain't got a few tins of beans if you were in a right state
30:27she's the annoying neighbour over at road isn't she
30:31she's the snobby neighbour who's always looking down her nose at alan's mum
30:35if your cupboards are bare you can always send the boys to me for a feed
30:40so right ate his hair cut that one yeah i had that don't you remember
30:44yeah but yours looks like an explosion in a mattress factory
30:46we're just doing a bath of beans for charity well we're trying we're about 20 tins short
30:50that's why we're here charlie's doing a camp out saturday
30:53yeah it was a bit mad wasn't it back in the day
30:56it was constantly something you was getting sponsored for something all the time
31:00he's having a camp out load of mates coming round
31:03what about alan ask alan to go
31:06oh which mate michael godgen bradley
31:09who else jake oh jake he likes jake don't he alan
31:14oh he likes jake yeah he'll be there alan bunny
31:16maybe alan could camp out instead of the beans
31:19oh well that's very you'd like that
31:21look at his little face it's lit up there didn't it
31:24oh yes please i'll camp out with those boys
31:27oh no not with charlie he's done enough for charity already
31:31oh he doesn't want alan to come
31:34after setting up camp with his friend kay alan was keen to see what jake and the
31:40lads were up to in the other garden
31:42get yourself in the tent there go on alan
31:49get in oh oh oh my god he's in with all the boys now
31:54hey hi hello
31:57that's what you're like when you flap onto someone oh no that's why i'm single
32:01bye jake good timing oh there's jake oh yeah he's very happy
32:06let's do something else hey oh george's turn no this is a dangerous game man oh my god never have
32:12i ever done fourth base what is fourth base what a beast one two three
32:20not around the back i don't think it's around the back they're barely even 15. i'm sure alan can help
32:27you georgie don't worry al it's just a game in it oh poor alan this is a horrible situation to be in
32:34i'm bored of this now come on god jake's sticking up for alan yeah never change alan
32:39hello happy campers oh did you see that look he told him never change alan you've left poor kay
32:47on her own out kate you grass i mean absolute part of pooper give me that right all of you out
32:55now come on oh they've been caught bottle of whiskey snatched oh come on georgie oh alan giving
33:05jake in the eye sorry you can't believe this you have no idea what's going on in your back garden
33:10you've got oh oh my god alan no anyway no thank you thank you oh
33:24jake and georgia snogging
33:26it's tough alan who does that on the drive though yeah why are two kids necking on i really thought
33:36that i had a chance she just wasn't the one darling oh mum just got the wrong idea i wasn't talking
33:45about georgie yeah we know we know alan i know oh oh what a good friend i mean these days you'd be
33:54pleased to have a gay son oh god yeah i'm hoping do i tell you what i used to like one time with debbie
34:01addy was it hi but that's not somebody in school is it i can't think of anybody in school i used to
34:08fancy the window cleaner in school oh the window cleaner yeah i did end up going out with him oh
34:24in blackpool tell you what the kids are getting all excited for christmas aren't they yeah pete and
34:31his little sister sophie when they were around here the other day jimmy was saying we've got a
34:38christmas tree i said i said me and me and uncle ben have put ours up in in the other lounge begging me
34:44to see it like obviously said yeah come on then let's go and i've put i've had made two little
34:52stockings one for ben one for me hung on the fire lovely touch match all the color scheme jimmy takes
35:00one look at him and goes why have you got two big stinking socks
35:04like they're not stinking socks jimmy
35:11this week we were all on the edge of our seats as we waited to find out who was to blame for what
35:17on sky oh you know what this is left what don't play mooney don't blame you it's not that it's all
35:24her fault oh i thought it was i thought it was don't blame me
35:32so what's happened what have i missed so at the start child gets kidnapped by a nanny not his own
35:38nanny another nanny who's got a special interest in him she was called carrie as it happens now called
35:44josephine child's now being reunited with his family however we don't know why we don't know
35:51why it's all happened in the program they had a flashback to show us how it all started
36:01oh well let me add josie had a baby six years ago if josie had a baby why did she need to steal someone
36:06else's oh look how happy she is lee she's taking him home
36:16look around oh you fuggers oh bloody hell
36:20oh now who is in that car is that the mom and the dad of um milo no no no i heard him oh no
36:36josie's in hospital yeah but what's happening to the baby he was crying i'm sorry he didn't
36:42survived the crash oh no what's she saying she heard the baby crying she said she heard him i think
36:48that you're confused that must have been the other baby what the other baby what the baby in the other
36:56car are we still six years ago or are we real now real now does the name josephine murphy mean anything to
37:07you uh-oh josie what are you doing with the guy what are you doing he's my son what do you mean he's
37:16your son her son died in the car accident my name is josephine murphy what no they recognize the name
37:26no you you you you died i didn't what's your dad they said she died why did they think she died
37:34dead i didn't come here to try to get him back well what have you come here for then i came here
37:39because i need you to promise me what mother to mother that you'll protect milo i am so confused
37:46i thought she's the buddy she didn't sound like a buddy no from from what from him him oh wow what's
37:54he doing you don't know what he's capable of oh my god look look at his face he's like no please don't
37:59please don't expose me now what are you hiding i know you won't believe me if i tell you which is
38:04why you have to hear it for yourself shut off oh my god she got evidence oh my god no oh no
38:13no he's shot him he did not deliberately them okay he done some at lee annie is he she had the
38:23evidence there yeah peter whose whose baby died in that accident their baby died and he took hers jose's
38:34baby yeah he was not scared and he was cold but i couldn't i couldn't just leave him there no no no no no
38:41so marlo is is josie's baby poor old josie has been in the right all along you stole her child
38:49no i did i did what i thought was right i stole a child mate no matter which way you look at it or
38:55cut it down you still stole somebody's child all this time i thought the kidnapping was my fault and
39:00you let me think it was my fault but it was not my fault it was yours yes it did didn't change the title
39:06it's all his fault it's not all her fault we knew it'd never be her fault it's always got to be a man's
39:11fault a bit later it looked like marissa had forgiven her husband peter
39:22why's she being nice to him i couldn't kiss him knowing what she knows i couldn't what's that for
39:29uh i've missed you what were that for nat says that when i snog in thinks that i'm up to summit yeah
39:38i missed you too peter never trust the red head mate your own thin ice there
39:50what's she coughing what's he doing oh what's wrong that's how mel reacts when i kiss her
39:54oh shit uh what i i didn't check all the allergens oh she's got some on her lips yeah she's kissed him
40:02a deadly kiss simon i could have had some away by accident i'm so sorry have you got your epi pen
40:07andy love i hope not it's in like an immediate reaction what the fuck it's expired what oh
40:20shit it's not working it's expired you always have the emergency kit you know he's worked out that's true
40:32i manage your allergy for you oh right between the lines i managed your allergy for you amira remember
40:38when you had to use an epi pen because you had some parmesan some parmesan don't make it sound so
40:46minuscule like it i had to be rushed into hospital that was the funniest day ever do you remember
40:53do you remember though when you were like when you when we called the ambulance and they were like
40:57are you gonna who's gonna come with her and none of you wanted to volunteer you were like oh i'll
41:02go work the next day i don't know how long we're gonna be there i you don't know what could have
41:07happened to me my lips are huge they look like carly jenna's lips rub
41:10in glasgow we're at christmas parties the worst part about them is like yeah it's that not known
41:17where the line is there's a clear line mate don't cross it best mates jake and callum i don't really
41:23drink that much it doesn't like i never really get to that place but i've been to some wild christmas
41:28parties where you're just like and from accounts does not do that on a monday morning it's almost
41:32like a superhero right they come out they show you their true powers and on the monday you're like
41:36all right yeah back to back to normal back to your spreadsheet that's magical it's nice you know
41:42what i mean so we glimmer into someone's actually glimmering and you go i know i like you but we
41:46don't need to talk about it yeah this week strictly had something new in store for us on bbc one
41:52ready for strictly are you ready oh good catch nice should we watch strictly and at least there'll be some
42:01athletic gertie
42:10where's your bottom gone it's over there you want brought it stuck it's on the way
42:17oh why's it come off because it's cheap plastic that's why it's come off hey so you look like
42:27gloria no you look like derrick that ricky race flies we are back from blackpool and back to business
42:36oh dear yeah how big's tessie's air this week that blow-dried mbj mcdonald our couples have
42:42another chance to improve their position on the leaderboard when they take on instant dance
42:49instant dance this is new what do you mean an instant dance you have to like dance now yeah
42:55that's exactly it all our couples will be asked to improvise a dance on the spot oh my god improv this is
43:01oh yeah they're starting to change it mary no no i think the expression is change it up no oh
43:13after being assigned their dancers and picking their own costumes
43:22it's chaos this what the freak's going on it's a bit like it's a knockout not here yeah the dancers
43:27had just 10 seconds to confer before taking to the dance floor
43:36oh she's talking through it yeah right you do that right quick when you do that and i do that
43:41you go over there oh look at him oh hello just yeah yeah just strip that'll confuse
43:51him i mean they're just floating around the room at this stage he doesn't need to do anything
44:00that's the thing he's just like as long as he does this that if i just stay there she'll lead me
44:05this is what sounds like when the girl is crying oh he's done a lift
44:15oh oh god he's a strong on the floor honestly i could have done that they've done a couple of
44:21forward steps a couple of backward steps side steps and then i mean hoida on the floor
44:26we're our final couple amber nikita making them to the floor i love how nikita's come dressed as a car
44:33wash
44:39shit you don't fuck about she you start anything like that and you'll be fine in it that's how i start
44:45doing my taxes
44:45i would need a good bit of warning if someone were going to toss me in the air like that with
44:54my legs open because it wouldn't end well for them
44:59oh them ruffles are made for shimmying aren't they when in doubt you shimmy in it when in doubt you shimmy
45:04oh yeah
45:13that's the shakava dance
45:18forever forever forever they are nailing this yeah i've got a bit of kakira going through them
45:39oh god the thing is if all else fails just fling your crotch in someone's face listen it works clearly
45:44if you really feel the way i feel oh do you want like a whipping top oh yes very slick
45:55oh oh whoa i think he just took a full to the volleys we'll play that game at christmas that'll be
46:02fun instant dance give that a will i've got to tell you i've not been that interested in strictly
46:06since anne whitcomb was used as a mop to clean the strictly floor yeah but this has definitely uh rekindled
46:12my interest in it
46:18and next friday night channel four is standing up to cancer live catch all the fun and complete
46:23frolics from 7 30 including a stand up to cancer goggle box special a tense family dispute makes
46:30for a complex case true crime on channel four with 24 hours in police custody new this monday at nine
46:37up next given the past week already it's the last leg
46:46you
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